On Tuesday evening I received my “book” back from the formatter, and it’s exciting to see it coming together like this. She did a fantastic job, and it looks as good as anything produced by a traditional publisher. In fact, she used to work in that world.
When we started the process she asked if I had any requests or preferences, and I told her I know nothing. So, she took the first chapter and formatted it in two different styles, and I gave her my feedback. Now she’s finished with the whole manuscript, and is adding the front and back matter (copyright info, disclaimer, etc.).
Once I give her a final, jittery thumbs-up on it, she will create the two electronic versions (Kindle and ePub), and I’ll be ready to go. The ePub format is used by Nook, Sony eReader, Apple’s iBooks, and others. So, I’ll be able to offer it in many places, if I choose.
And yes, there will definitely be a physical book available. It’ll be a trade paperback printed by CreateSpace, a tentacle of the ever-expanding Amazon empire. I own several books produced by them, and they make a quality product.
The cover is being finalized now by the Evil Twin, and it’s also a thing of beauty. I’ll show it to you guys, ASAP.
I’m excited. It’s all coming into focus.
Run is a thriller, along the lines of Dean Koontz, and is a hell of a good time. It amazes me that no traditional publisher would buy it. I mean, seriously. Read it, and you’ll see what I’m talking about. The thing is well-written, suspenseful, and relentless.
People who are in a position to know what they’re talking about have repeatedly told me that publishers are taking no chances on new authors right now. You know, on account o’ the sucking economy. Since I’m big into self-loathing, though, I naturally suspected they were just softening the blow after my book wasn’t sold.
But Run makes me feel better. Clearly, it’s difficult to sell a work of fiction at this point in our history, unless you’re Stephen King or John Grisham, or the like. Check it out if you have a Kindle or a Nook. I think you’ll enjoy it.
I have no further word from Nancy’s House of Soy, down souf. I’m not sure how they’re coping with the terrific hell unleashed by the one-hour time change this past weekend. I’m picturing Nostrils as Jack Nicholson about halfway through The Shining by now.
But I was wondering… do you bother changing all your clocks? I’m a little lazy with it, if you want to know the truth. Toney went around and changed them all on Sunday morning, but the two under my control haven’t been touched. I just adapt, and mentally add an hour. Is that so wrong?
In fact, I don’t even know how to change the clock in my car. It’ll either stay as it is until it’s correct again, or Toney will get exasperated and change it for me. I can live with either scenario.
Have you changed all your clocks, or do you just make adjustments in your mind, like me? Heh.
Our front yard was covered by a two foot-deep snowpack for most of the winter, and it’s finally melting. There are still a few stray patches, but 90% is now gone.
And it’s a full-on turd fiesta out there. Andy (Blacklips Houlihan) has been crapping up the joint and burying it, but now everything’s out in the open air. It’s like the ruins of Pompeii, a defecation excavation. Months-worth of freeze-dried, perfectly preserved shitlogs are being reanimated by the sun, and we have a situation on our hands.
I guess I should go out there now, while everything is still firm and semi-frozen, right? Yeah, but I can’t really see that happening. Maybe I’ll send the Secrets out with baskets, and tell them to pick a bushel of poop each? That would probably be a good start.
I’ll leave you now with a Question inspired by Adam Carolla. A few nights ago, on his podcast, he was talking about the phrases he has coined, which ended up being listed at UrbanDictionary. And it got me to wondering… are there any Surf Report words or phrases on that site?
I’m not very familiar with UrbanDictionary, but I did consult it a few weeks ago when somebody at work used the phrase “Jewish lightning.” WTF?
Anyway, I’d like to know what Surf Report words ‘n’ phrases should be listed there. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be stuff I’ve written, it can be great things from the comments section, too. Like, “smells like a vagina full of bad decisions.”
So, there you go. Let’s create a master list, what do you say?
And I’ll be back on Sunday or Monday, depending on my mood and energy level.
See ya then!