Your Best Ground Scores, and Other Stuff
You know what’s a great feeling? When you’ve been stuck in a traffic jam for a long time, your blood pressure is spiking and crashing, you’ve run through your full arsenal of profanity and are now making up new phrases (like shit bugler and ball flaps) – and everything suddenly busts loose.
The moment when you’ve officially cleared the problem, and can now mash down on the accelerator is pure magic. It feels like a great pressure has been released from your soul.
And that’s one of the reasons I don’t do drugs (beyond beer). If I ever found something that approximated that getting-out-of-a-traffic-jam feeling, I’d likely render myself permanently unemployable within six months.
Oh, I know how I am.
Since I made the tentative leap to 2003 a few months ago, and started downloading a small portion of my music, I’ve discovered some real gems – like this slab o’ greatness, for instance.
But I’ve also been burned a few times. I occasionally let the critics get to me, especially when they engage in a relentless slobber-campaign about some “brilliant” new release. I’m generally extra-careful, but sometimes get suckered into the vortex of hype.
The new Animal Collective, I’m afraid, might fall into that category. I’ve only had it a few days, but it’s not doing much for me. It really isn’t. It’s all breathy and swirly, and reminds me of a turd-band from long ago: Cocteau Twins.
Other disappointments from the recent download era include Bon Iver (zzzzz) and Fleet Foxes (make it stop!!). After giving any of those albums another chance to grow on me, I usually have to race to my stereo and turn on Rocket to Russia, or the first Undertones album, just to get the feeling back in my face.
Cheese and crackers! I love music, but it’s sometimes very cruel to me.
Sheetz is a chain of convenience stores in these parts. They’re similar to other such operations, except they sell decent food ‘round the clock.
Oh, you’re not going get a lobster dinner there, or moo goo gai pan. But if you’re in the market for a freshly-prepared sub sandwich at 3 am, they can hook you up.
In any case, I was in there the other day, using their no-fee ATM (money for nothing), and noticed a sign advertising a full line of Sheetz-themed clothing. I blinked a few times, and finally decided it was true. I wasn’t having a stroke, after all.
Who in the hell would buy a hoodie emblazoned with the logo of a grocery store, or a gas station, or whatever that place happens to be?
And check this out. The whole thing makes me laugh.
What’s next, a line of Sleepy’s Mattress Center windbreakers? Radio Shack lapel pins? Leather jackets in celebration of Del Monte corn?
I sincerely don’t understand.
Surf Reporter Dorothy sends along this amazing photo… It was reportedly snapped by her daughter, somewhere in Arkansas. Yum! Chili, burritos, and the insinuation of a severe intestinal tract infection!!
And finally, the Question of the Day… Last week I was at Waffle House, and my check was $7.34. I gave the cashier a ten, and she handed me $12.66 in change.
Years ago, when I was a poor young hooligan, I would’ve pocketed it, thanked her, and kept moving. But nowadays I’m much more honest in such situations. I always think about the employee, and how it’ll surely come back to them in some unpleasant way.
So, I returned the ten to the woman, and told her she’d given me too much change. She seemed surprised by my honesty, and thanked me several times.
How do you handle that sort of thing? Do you just say screw ‘em, like the 1988 Jeff? Or do you give the money back?
I’d also like to hear your stories about finding money, or other things of value, and whether or not you tried to locate the person who lost it.
What’s the highest amount of money you’ve ever found? I once happened upon a ten and two singles all folded up on the floor of a store in Greensboro, and believe that’s my current record. What about you?
Use the comments section to tell us about your most impressive ground scores, and I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Filed under: Daily
Numero Uno
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I obviously need to get a life!
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I found about $175 in US bucks blowing around a self service gas station in an evening rainstorm once, near Hamilton, Ontario.
That went right in the right front pocket.
Hey, I needed the dough…
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Although there was a time when I didn’t, I always give the money back now. I’ve done my time as a cashier.
A friend found a $100 bill in the water on the florida coast. We figured it was from a drug deal gone awry and spent the rest of the day swimming the coast. No more money or suspicious wrapped packages were found however.
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<<<<>>>>>>>>>>
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My husband found a twenty all folded up right infront of a soda machine.
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Holy shit! Top ten!
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My husband and I found $150.00 on the walkway in our apartment complex in CA. We took it to the office, and she said if no one claimed it in 30 days, it was ours. We had a very nice dinner and drinks out 30 days later!
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$20 in the gutter in front of a bank. It was Snday morning and I was delivering newspapers.
Kept it.
The most I’ve ever gotten was an extra $500 deposited in my account. Ateller entered my deposit twice. It’s been 20 years now and my balance has never fallen below say $700 or so, but I think the money is mine now.
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I found a $50 laying in a parking lot once. I looked around for about two seconds and didn’t see anybody running over to claim it, so it was my lucky day!
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I found a twenty on the ground two different times.. Kept em both. Both went for beer. Also found a 35mm camera on the side of the road. It was the first turn after one of those ‘senic lookouts”. Some poor slob put the camera on the roof, got the kiddies in the car and drove off. It slid off on the first corner. A gut going the other way and I saw it at the same time. I was going slower and was able to stop first and stab it. I did put an ad in the local paper but nobody ever claimed it. It was back in the day when they were worth something. So I took it to a camera shop and traded it for a wide angle and a telephoto lens for my 35 mm camera. Still have em today. That was a long time ago. I found a dollar bill the other day. First thing in a long time.
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Did any of you happen to find a man’s change purse? It had $50 in it. The kid at the sheriff’s office didn’t know nothing about it. Let me know, K.
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this is different, but i left a twenty instead of a single in a coffee house tip cup a few months ago. i didn’t want to go back and dig through their change and look all pathetic/criminal, so i just left it. i work for tips as well, and i feel like it is good tip karma.
hmmm. i like bon iver and animal collective. have you tried andrew bird?
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As a kid I found $25 on the ground in a motel parking lot in Winnemucca, NV on my way to (very begrudgingly) retrieve something my mom had forgotten in the car. It didn’t seem like such an annoying errand after that!
Same as Jeff – kept incorrect change when I was younger, but return it nowadays.
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I must be the most unhip guy alive on earth. Butch Walker, Animal Collective, Bon Iver and Fleet Foxes. Who the fuck are these people?
The “sheetz happens” girl has nice bewbs. And the design makes them appear to bounce. She’s hot and I want to club her in the head and drag her to a cave.
I always give back the excess change. It happened recently with my barber. He charges $9 and I gave him a $10. He handed me back $11 as if I’d given him a $20. I gave it back to him and he kept insisting that the next hair cut is free. He’ll probably forget anyway. He’s about 85.
I once found a wad of money in a money clip on the outter edges of a Wal-Marts parking lot. There were no other cars around and it totaled $230. Up to that point my biggest haul had been a $10. I once saw a $5 laying on the floor of a Texaco bathroom but I left it there. It was already wet with piss or whatever.
Speaking of bathrooms, I keep noticing that someone has written “for a good time call Ken” on damn near every bathroom I go in. Has anyone else ever noticed this?
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I found $100.00 in my front lawn once. It was a windy day, and there was other forms of paper also blowing around. I did not bother to look around or ask my other neighbors if they lost it (mostly because I hate both my neighbors)- It was in my yard, which means it’s mine- Right?
Several years ago, my husband and I went to a nursery to pick up some things for a landscaping project we were working on. We got some flowers, grass seed, and some other small items plus a 4′ Pine tree. which we just put by the car. We went in to pay for our goods, gave the cashier all the small stuff to scan and told her we had the pine by the car (it was $60.00). She rang everything up and said “that will be $46. and some change. My husband said “are you sure that’s right?” and her reply was – “I think I know how to work this register sir- it’s absolutely right”. He said “okay then” and we left with our free tree. Some people just have it coming.
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i didn’t get to comment yesterday because i was having computer problems, but i had to get this in…….one of my daughter’s acquaintances told her that she had a “high heel hernia.” lmfao!
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I think it’s trendy for college kids to wear clothing like that. Or at least I see such things around here.
I found a 100 dollar bill last summer walking up the hill from where I live. I looked around to make sure someone was not going to jump on me before I put it in my pocket. I wonder who would be walking around with a 100 dollar bill in their pocket in a college town? I figured it must have been a drug dealer or someone old. Until that day, I don’t even know how long it had been since I had seen a 100 dollar bill.
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I once found $20 blown into a dark corner of a parking garage, right next to the restaurant I was heading to. I had a good meal (~$7-8) and very good service, so I left the whole twenty for the tab and tip. Figured I’d keep the wave moving.
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Yeah, I’m with Jeff, too. In my earlier days I woulda kept the money. Now, I give it back.
Hey Jeff, do yourself a favor and buy Midnight Boom by the Kills. You’ll love it.
Happy Wednesday, Surfers!
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I found $480 in a Wal Mart parking lot 2 years ago. Some poor sap had probably just cashed there pay check. I actually held onto it for a few weeks before I spent it. Thought I might hear of someone losing it.
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i find money all the time – in co-worker’s purses, in the petty cash drawer, in my friend’s jacket pockets. I have some luck!
Just the other day, I went inside the gas station, gave the guy $20 for my gas, then went outside and over-pumped by a penny. Being the good samaritan that I am, I went inside, penny in hand to even up the score – and the guy handed me a $10 in exchange for the penny. I took it and high-tailed it outta there with a big grin on my face.
I think it’s funny that I wasn’t willing to steal a penny worth of gas from them, but $10 was perfectly acceptable to me. My own logic escapes me.
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The most I ever found on the ground is a dollar. I figure, eh, it’s just a dollar so I kept it. Maybe that is why my karma sucks so bad that is the only money i have ever found!
I do return extra change when it is given to me. Probably didn’t/ wouldn’t have when i was younger. But i definitely worked harder for my money back then.
When i do laundry and find cash in Wally’s pockets, I keep it. Does that count since it all comes out of the same fund?
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Jason, around here it says “for a good time call Brandy”
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I always give the money back…ekspecially if they’re new, really busy or completly smitten with my presence. If they’re the type who’d rather be still picking their nose than dealing with me…fuck ‘em.
I found Jesus…on a piece of toast.
I found a twenty just laying around in my roommate’s wallet once…ok, maybe it was twice.
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$40 once is the most I’ve ever found. For the record, $43 is the most I’ve ever lost.
I’m with ya on the music — love Bruce Walker, but the rest? Hellz no. (Is this when I’m supposed to confess my totally unexplainable obsession with MGMT? I hope not. I hope I can take that secret to my grave.)
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I once found $276 in a wallet in the inside pocket of a suitcoat hanging in a coworkers office. That’s as good as blowin’ in the wind to me!
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If you follow Qweezy Mark around in bars, you’re sure to find $50′s and $100′s falling out of his pockets onto the floor, unbeknownst to him. He’s a real Good-Time Charley at the bars.
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I usually try to be honest about it, but some people make it hard to keep on the straight and narrow. For example, I received too much change ($10 or so, not much), I told the cashier that she had given me the incorrect change and before I could tell her that it was too much rather than too little, she rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. When I gave her the money back, she didn’t apologize or thank me, but the guy behind me in line very loudly declared that he would have kept the money just to “teach that bitch a lesson about manners.” Given the cashier’s attitude, I probably should have kept it.
Other than that, I once found $300+ in a wallet left in a cart in the Target parking lot. It was clear the owner had just cashed some form of public assistance check given all the accompanying documentation. After doing a little research, I found the owner at her new digs (not the address listed on any of the ID) and returned the wallet. She was grateful and offered me a reward, but I refused it even though I was unemployed at the time. Back then, I was honest, but given the number of people milking the various public assistance programs these days, I might think twice, evil as that might sound. Goin’ straight to hell, I know, but at least I’ll be in good company.
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Jason….if the line is busy please do keep trying.
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Oh, my 7-year-old niece found a whopping 25 cents on the playground at school, turned it in to the office, and was told that if no one claimed the money after 7 days, it was hers. Sure enough, a week later, the principal called my niece into the office and handed her the quarter. My sister and I giggled about the whole thing given the amount of money involved, but hey, the kid was honest and it worked out in her favor. She might just turn out OK despite her wicked relatives.
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My cousin and I found 20$ while getting off the bus. We were about 10 years old, so we rushed to the arcade and put it all in ‘Double Dragon II’. Maybe it’s because I was young, but that game was tough… we didn’t even get to end the game
. One part of the game was nearly impossible and chewed up almost all our credits. Ah, the joy of arcades… 
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Dammit Jeff, I have a Radio Shack 5 year (Ruby) lapel pin and it is not funny. Tandy was a fine company to work for back in the day. I sold enough Trash 80 to support my feeble butt during some of the toughest times of my life.
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@ Jason…. recently spotted a little ditty on a bathroom wall of someone’s initials and apparently this person has aerola’s the size of dinner plates. We should introduce him/her to Ken?!
A girlfriend and I spotted a crumpled up $50 bill on the floor of a local bar. We dove for it like were saving lives from a bomb. Never bothered to TRY to find it’s rightful owner with all the drunken bafoon’s around to stake the claim. We just used it to buy rounds of brew for everyone. So, as it turns out, the bar got it anyway.
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Ognir, that $100 in a college town was mine. You didn’t happen to find it outside the free clinic, did you? After I lost the cash, I consoled myself with the thought that the person who found my money needed it to treat a raging case of syphilis, but now I know better.
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I once found $125 in the seat of an arcade game at the local mall. I kept it.
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A couple years ago, I was at my local bank ATM and withdrew $100 from the machine. When it coughed out the cash, I counted $200 in all new crisp bills so I checked the reciept and it said I only took out $100. I was dancin in the streets with extra cash to boot. A week later, I get a letter from the bank saying they were billing me for the extra cash because they detected the machine malfunction during my transaction. Why those Indian giving bastards I said to myself. I forgot to check that the bills were sequential and they knew what bills were to be distributed for that transaction. At least they didn’t charge me for and overdraft. I wonder if they sent the same letter to the person behind me and got extra cash back from them?
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When I was a kiddo, I found a $20 bill in a snow pile by my house. My parents accused me of stealing it. Sheesh!
On the flip side, I recently left my purse in a shopping cart and someone was nice enough to turn it in – with nothing missing. Thank God for honest people.
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Sheetz is disgusting, If you want a good hoagie go to Wawa….which is only found in the upper east coast…..the most money i found was 20 under a diner booth
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-I was at an outdoor festival at Stone Mountain Park several years ago and they had plugged up an ATM in one of the covered picnic shelters. I slid in my card and requested $20 and the machine gave me $200. I was certain that they would eventually figure it out and so redeposited the leftovers back in my account the next day but they never did. I didn’t argue. (But I also didn’t go back and try it 5 or 6 more times like Mr. Moo wanted me to!)
-I would never short a server-it comes out of their pocket to make it up.
-I’m with Mrs. Wally, I consider any cash found in Mr. Moo’s laundry my hard earned tip.
-My tip to you men…clean out your own damn pockets.
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The most I’ve ever found was a $20 on the sidewalk – no one around – pocketed it.
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I threw away a lottery ticket a few years ago with 2 doublers on it because I thought it needed a third since it was one of those match three tickets. I went back after I figured out what I had done but they had already picked up the trash and put it in the compactor. The biggest money amount I saw on the ticket was $5000. I won’t play any scratch offs today because of that mistake. Yeah, I lost a dollar OK…
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I just remembered this. I found a brand new pair of Levi’s (in my size!) in the parking lot of the new WalMart.
Kept ‘em.
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I am a part time waitress so I always try to give back the money if someone makes a mistake but if i find money i keep it unless there is a good chance I know who it belongs to. I gave my Boyfriend a bunch of money I found doing his laundry and he couldn’t believe it. I guess not all the skanky girls he dated previously were so honest.
I find monsy under the tables in the restaruant all the time it pays to be detail oriented sometimes.
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I always give the money back to cashiers.
About 25 years ago, I found a $100 bill at a self-serve car wash, and had a pretty good idea of who lost it. It was a guy drying his Porsche. He came back and was looking all around, but I played dumb and kept it. I felt like I needed it more than he did. I’m not a bad person, right?
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I know this will be hard to believe but I never drink until I black out.
It only happened to me ONCE and I vowed it would never happen again.
I did shots of tequila and the last thing I remember is dancing to the song “Wild Thing” by Tone-Loc . Then I blacked out. The next morning when I woke up there was a fifty stuffed down the back of my pants and two twenties stuck in my bra.
I have no idea who they belonged to or where they came from.
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Tammie, you earned the fitty I left. Great job !
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@Tammie – and thankfully no other “gifts”
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i just realized the irony of refferring to myself as detail oriented while spelling the word money incorrectly.
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Happened to me yesterday as well. Cashier thought I gave her 50 bucks on a 32 dollar and change purchase. I let her know I handed over $35.
If its flying in the street with no one chasing it, its mine. Found $5 a few times in parking lots.
With the highest potential, found a landscaping buisness chequing book at a grocery store parking lot. Called the guy up to retrieve it. It does make you wonder how big a cheque you could write…
@Brandy, is it true? will I be in for a good time if I call?
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@Alex – just ask Jason!!!
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aw sweet! or shall i say aw sheetz! i’ve been looking for a new wardrobe. thanks Jeff!
the most i’ve ever found was a $20 in a parking lot and then a $5 about an hour later come floating by when i was in the Atlantic. kept ‘em both. most of the time i don’t even check the amount of change i’m given back so… i’d like to think i’d give it back nowadays. unless the person was a dick.
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I once wound a wad of cash totaling $230 lying on the floor of a shopping mall back in the early 80′s when $230 was a BIG fucking deal to me.
I too give back extra change to cashiers. I know most employers deduct any till shortages from their pay, and I figure they can use the $10 or $15 more than I can.
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@ Tammie:
I took my Photoshop Elephants test today
and passed with flyin’ fuckin’ carpets!
I’d give back any overage,
and if I got attitude,
I’d give THAT back too.
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About ten years ago, the wife and I went Christmas shopping at King of Prussia Mall. The place was a mad house. Upon entering some store, I spotted a ladies red pocketbook on the floor, picked it up and stood there with it in my hand for some two or three minutes assuming some woman would be backtracking and spot me holding it. Nobody came forward, so I walked it to the lost and found.
Of course, I looked inside, and it was BULGING with cash, maybe a thousand or more, plus lots of credit cards, baby pictures, etc. I assumed someone just cashed a Christmas Club check or a Holiday Bonus from work.
Standing in line waiting to turn it over to the personnel there, I see a thirty-something woman hauling ass towards the lost-and-found counter with a stroller and two more kids in tow. She is looking frantic and panicked, her head whipping from left to right.
At this point, I am next in line, she butts ahead of me and everyone else and is yelling at the clerk about her lost wallet, which I am still holding in my hand. I ask her what her name is assuming someone (me or the counter clerk) should double check her answer compared to the wallet contents. She rips it out of my hand and didn’t even say Thanks. Bitch.
Also, quite recently, I cashed a check for $1,000 at my bank. The teller (who is a young hottie with a great smile) pulls out a strapped pack of twenties and plops it up on the counter. Later, I decided to count it to be sure it was the correct amount. There was $1,080 in the pack. Went back to bank the next day and asked the girl if her drawer was short yesterday. Yes. How much? Eighty dollars. I gave it back. She was pretty surprised. But, I am still waiting for my BJ.
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@ Alex,
I hire a lot of landscapers in London and hearing that they abandon chequebooks in parking lots is no surprise. We dealt with one a couple of years ago that did snow removal from two properties and never billed: We estimate they were owed ~$20,000. And it’s not like they just haven’t chased us for the money. We actually called them and their AR people insist our account is clear.
In my experience “landscaper” is just another word for high school dropout or alcoholic.
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The only “branded” T-shirt I own has this weird fish on it. I don’t know what posessed me to buy it? But it comfy, sooo.
I always give money back to the person if its too much, my luck is bad enough with out egging it on. I did have to wait for 30 minutes in a gas station once while they balanced their drawer because I paid with a 100.00 and she entered it as a 20.00 and tried to short me 80.00 dollars. As soon as I handed her the 100.00 she shot it straight into the little slip in the bottom of the drawer and when I asked for the change she accused me of trying to cheat her. I argued it was the other way around. She was adamant and so was I. Its a good thing the manager wandered in from the parking lot and settled things down cause that bitch was headed for an ass whuppin. Needless to say I got my money. I think she ripped people off all the time cause I caught her over-ringing one day when I was standing in line, when I said hey you charged him twice for the smokes, she tried to say that she didn’t, he asked her to clear out the transaction and start over and what do ya know it was 4.00 less than before. That bitch needed to be hit wit a car. Thanks Jeff , now I’m pissed off again like its 1991.
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When I was ten years old my parents took me to Yankee Stadium on the Fourth of July. Near the end of the game I had an urgent need to use the restroom. When I was finished and my mom and I were walking out, I happened to look down and see money strewn across the ground. I was TEN-I did not question the circumstances as to how it got there. I just wanted it. I started grabbing all the bills I could and immediately pocketed them. My mother was right beside me and was frantically grabbing my arm and urging me forward. I was getting pissed because she was making me miss some of the money. We got to the car, me jumping around excitedly and yelling about all the money I found, and my mother looking pale and shaken. She said, “Lauren, didn’t you see what was going on?” I said, “YEAH! I saw all the money everywhere and was trying to pick it all up before YOU pushed me away!”
As it turned out, while I was focused completely on my greed, there were two men across from us having an argument. The money had fallen out of the one man’s pocket, but he was unaware. He was too distracted by the knife sticking out of his stomach.
My mother was concerned I saw the stabbing and would be traumatized by the scene. What a relief that my love of cash made me oblivious. I think I came out about $60.00 on top.
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Jeff, I gotta agree with you on Cocteau Twins and Fleet Foxes (zzzzz…make in stop!!)…as far as the money thing goes..I don’t usually make cash purchases but if I did and the cashier were to give me too much I would give it back…if I noticed. I have never found any thing larger than a $20 but my sister found $1,000.00 yes an entire grand in a basket at Wal-Mart by the pharmacy…she asked everyone around and no one said it was their’s..so she kept it…good thing there were a bunch of dumb asses there that day…if she would have asked me “hey is this your huge wad of cash” I would have been first to say Hell Yeah it is…Thanks!
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I once found a gold coin in the sewer grate. I used it to buy a candy bar. Then the fun began!
A couple of months ago my 7 year old son and I were in the NCO club waiting on a pizza we ordered. He was walking around and found a $50 on the floor. There were about 10 people in the general area. He began hooting and hollering that he found money. I told him to zip it and be cool about it. I showed him how to slyly place his foot over it and look around to see if anyone was watching. Then I showed him the bend down to tie your shoe pick up the money move. He blew it all on Lego’s.
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I visited my brother in southern Texas about 16 years ago. He was cool enough to let me use his RM 250 motocross bike for a week while he was up state. I was riding along some power lines when the chain slipped off the rear sprocket. I pushed the bike into some bushes where it was shady, too a whiz and started digging for the tool kit. Some piece of crap truck came along the gravel road, stopped at the top a a rise about 1/4 mile away and the guy got out, went over to the steel tower and dropped something off. He then took off. I fixed the bike, rode by the tower and noticed a black trash bag stuffed under the tower leg. I went over, peeked inside, and saw wads of cash….took the whole bag and tore ass down that road for a bit, then lit out cross country to my bro’s barn. When I got there I opened the bag and counted over $12,000. Holy Crapola. I put his bike in my truck and headed out of town. Dumped the bike off a bridge in Looziana and kept on going home. He called me a week later and asked me where the hell his bike was. So I told him…..then I bought him a new Honda for his birthday and kept the remaining $9000 or so. I gues it was found money. Someone didn’t get their “payment” for some kind of merchandise.. Too bad for him.
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My family owns a series of Dairy Queens. My dad gets all of his employees DQ hoodies for xmas gifts. They all love them and people ask me all the time where they can get them. I always thought it was weird.
I found a little less than $1000 in an airport when I was 5 years old. It was just lying on the ground. My parents took it from me. I have no idea what they did with it, but knowing my dad, they probably kept it.
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…chicks for free…
“And finally, the Question of the Day… Last week I was at Waffle House, and my check was $7.34. I gave the cashier a ten, and she handed me $12.66 in change.”
I would have given it back But I still laughed out loud when I read this. Just being Waffle House and all…
I have a great found money story…I used to drive off the employment compound (prior to 911) through a little known (only to the INSIDERS-ahem) more scenic avenue than the normal 9-5 bone-crushing traffic jammed exit route. Whilst exiting you travel through a resort area and past a market that services the vacation rental homes in the area. As I was driving along past the fire station, I drove over what appeared to be loose bills of paper money!!!!!! Yikes! I immediately pulled over and started collecting the bills in various denominations; $20s, $10s, $5s and so on….then, yes!, i spotted a wallet lying in the middle of the two-lane road that leaves the resort area. I grabbed it and went back to my car to count the MONEY!!! I ended up with about $250.00 (this was back in the late ’80s/early ’90s so, quite the haul for a lowly PO1 in this country’s greatest Navy). So, arriving home is when the fun began! The quest for to whom the bounty belonged! There was a NJ drivers license and other sundry photos and such, and a cryptic list headed “mom” with a phone number. Ha! I will call ‘mom” and find out where precious is staying and return the wallet! Needless to say, NJ ‘mom” was suspicious as h*ll (being from NJ and all) and quite reluctant to part with any information on the whereabouts of precious! So I finally finagled from her that precious and fam was on their third day of vacation in an RV park in the general locale of where I had stumbled on the money and wallet. So I started calling the RV parks in the area (who were also almost as reluctant as NJ “mom” to divulge any information about precious and fam) and eventually stumbled on the correct one. In true “spy” fashion they relayed my number and message to precious and fam who called me back and came to get their money and wallet. My good deed for the rest of my life! When they offered me a reward, I had to admit that the detective work in tracking down a complete stranger was reward enough! They sent a beautiful flower arrangement on their return to the mean streets of NJ and the clutches of NJ “mom”.
So that’s my story!
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In case any have been wondering where I’ve been…i was abducted by Facebook! I have only recently emerged to a changed world and a new view on life.
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When i was a kid (7th grade i think) i found an envelope with some guys paycheck stub and several hundred dollars. Apparently he cashed the check, then lost the envelope that he put his money into. I tracked him down (was within a couple of blocks of his house) and gave it to him and he tells me thanks and shuts the door. The cheap bastard could have at least give me some kinda reward. Afterwards I wished I had kept it.
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Here’s an interesting variation:
In the mid-1990′s I was visiting a friend who lived above a store on Main Street in downtown Northampton, MA. I parked at a meter right out front. When I went back to my car the next morning, there was a $10 parking ticket under my windshield. And someone had put a $10 bill inside it!
What kind of sick freak pre-pays a total stranger’s parking ticket?
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Over the weekend, I entertained a gentleman with my feet. After he left, I saw a $100 bill on my coffee table.
Am I lucky? Or just a foot prostitute?
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I handle lost & found money at a university. It’s amazing how many people I’ve seen turn in a wallet with the cash still inside. And the people that come and claim their wallets are just as surprised. It’s pretty cool.
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I found a wadded up $20 bill in a parking lot once. Also, someone emptied their ashtray in the parking lot of my post office and it wasn’t just ashes, but pennies and other change too. I picked up every last cent and it came to about $8.
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When I was a kid back in rotten tooth Merry old England (about 1890) we would attach a thread to a pound note (worth about 5 bucks in those days) & leave it lying on the pavement There is nothing as funny as watching a guy in a bowler hat with furled umbrella chasing the magic money down the street as you reeled it in!
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Found a black chip at the Hilton in Vegas about 12 years ago….when I told my buddy who was playing craps, he said that some guy had left the table with a LOAD of chips about 10 minutes earlier and was squeezing them to keep them all together when they ‘exploded’ and started rolling everywhere….I guess he missed this one, as it had landed perfectly inside a circle in the design of the carpet
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Found $20 bill flying in the air a few years ago. I was with a friend so I pulled out a $10 bill and gave it to him.
I just can’t benefit from others peoples mistakes. Moreover, people that work cash registers probably need their jobs much more than I need a few extra dollars in my pocket. Also, you wonder if the man upstairs is keeping score.
In the 1960′s, my uncle worked for a printing company and he would print up 3/4 dollar bills with a fold to make it look like a wad of money. One time as a youngster we all went to the fair and he would drop the fake money in high traffic areas. We died laughing watching the people trying to pick up the “cash” inconspicuously without telling him what he dropped. It was an early lesson on how greedy some people can be…
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Hmmm… found money and karma. Makes me think of a family trip to California. We flew to San Francisco, rented a car and drove to the Redwood and Yosemite National Parks. Along the way, we stopped by a grocery store to get some groceries. Coming out of the grocery store, we spotted a couple coins setting on top of a covered garbage can in front of the store. I picked ‘em up… two fifty centavo Mexican coins.
We got in the rental car and drove up into the mountains. The rental car had a shallow indentation on top of the dash… seemed like a good place to stash the coins so I tossed ‘em in. It wasn’t but a few minutes later, we were drive up some windy steep roads through the mountain. On one curve, one of the coins shot out of the indentation and disappeared. We didn’t worry too much about it until the next curve, when we discovered that the coin had disappeared into the steering column and jammed the steering wheel. If we had been going just a smidge faster, we probably would’ve gone over the edge of a nasty cliff. Not really, we stopped maybe five feet short, but by now my Dad has it in his head that we almost died.
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It was the early 80′s, Tucson, AZ at the corner of University and Euclid. I bought a cuppa’two’tree korts of beer at the local corner store and they gave me 10 dollars too much change. As you did, Jeff, I returned the excess and stepped outside only to find a $20 on the sidewalk. Then as I turned the corner there were three more $20′s just haging out waiting for me to pick them up.
I promptly returned to the store and bought a cuppa’two’tree more korts.
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I’m also a not-young guy who listens to a lot of indie and alt-rock, and I had the same exact thought recently about Animal Collective. All the reviews are similar, “once I got into them, I realized their brilliance”. But I’ve now heard about 4 tracks from their new album, and I don’t get it. Who is this music for? What kind of party, or mood, or activity would be appropriate for having this on? Damned if I know.
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I normally give back extra change. Most notable time I didn’t was a barely-English speaking Wallyworld clerk who gave me $15 too much one time when I was buying a couple boxes of 30-30 shells. But I make up for it karma-wise (I hope) by tipping 30% or so at any place I don’t have to get my own food. Had a young, clearly new, waitress knock over a large OJ on me a month ago. I felt bad for her because she felt so bad about it. So I tipped her around 50% of the check for me and Mrs. SV. Last year I found a hundred dollar bill folded up in the parking lot of the gas station I stop at daily. Leaned over and scooped it up on my way by on my Harley. Mrs. SV and I cashed it in a grocery store the next day for about $40 worth of groceries. Day after that I saw in the paper that there was a bunch of fake $100′s being passed in the area, and everyone who got busted claimed they found theirs in a gas station parking lot. Spread the wealth to cover the tracks, maybe? Good thing they didn’t get out the fake bill pen, I’m guessing. Got a few more, but that’s enough for now.
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Sheetz are awesome. In the SE part we have Wawa. The recently launched a clothing line as well and the best part is they sell the tee shirts they make their employees wear so you can totally pay money to look like you make sandwiches at Wawa.
http://www.wawa.com/WawaStore/storecategory93.aspx
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When I was managing a video rental store I found a $100 bill on the floor in front of the counter. My only sale that morning had been selling a bunch of used vids to a customer — not a regular renter so I didn’t recognize the guy and wasn’t able to backtrack thru my transactions and look up an account #. I put the bill in an envelope and put it in the safe, but the guy didn’t come back, so a week later it was mine, all mine.
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There is one good band the kids are listening to, Peter Bjorn. Check out “nothing to worry about” major ear worm.
BTW, Sheetz may sell diesel, but they are not Diesel. The Sheetz website with the “z” at the end of every tab is major douchebaggery. I will admit though, it’s something I would have pitched with smug pride back when I was an art director.
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Getting out of a car on the south side of Chicago, I find a $10 bill in the slush near the curb. I’m with my younger cousin who was in college at the time, so I donated the ten bucks to her college fund, for good karma and all.
But, two years ago in Oxford, England, I’m carrying a wad of 50 pound notes (for some reason we were owed money by a relative there and they gave us cash on the barrelhead). I lost one of the 50′s on the street – my wife has yet to forgive that lil mishap.
Wrong change? Since I’ve been a cashier in a former life, I correct the mistake as soon as I can, if I can. This holds for most people who have been waitstaff at some point in their lives, they become glorious overtippers afterwards. Its damn hard to work on your feet all day.
When I was twelve I lost my wallet riding my bike about 5 miles from my house. Three days later the wallet arrives in our mailbox at home, minus the $2 that was in it but all else intact.
So, a mixed batch of karma I seem to trail behind me…
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I usually give the money back but last year I was at a Target buying a whole crap load of stuff. It came out to be a litle over 200 dollars. I wanted to use a 100 Visa gift card the folks had sent me and the cashier wasn’t able to use it, I asked her if the manager might be able to help out. The asst. manager came, was not able to help and acted belligerent as well. They rang up the total and I had to pay for it all out of pocket. As I was leaving I looked at my receipt and realized that they forgot to charge me for a 50 dollar curtain rod…fuck ‘em, if they hadn’t have acted belligerent with me it probably would have been differnet.
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I return money that I get erroneously in change. I am a cashier, and am often handed more moneythan poeple intend – they say “$15 on pump 5.” but hand me 18 singles – I always give it back.
However, I’m pretty ashamed to say that I always keep money that I find, even in wallets. I am a shitheel.
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In my party years I was a Dominos Pizza delivery driver. I once delivered a pizza on New Year’s Eve to the local no-tell motel in our town. The woman came to the door when I knocked—she was completely naked and held a bottle of champagne–drunk of her ass. A fully naked man was passed out on the bed..I handed her the 8.00 pizza. She handed me a $100 bill and said, “Keep the change.” and closed the door…..I stood there a moment trying to process what had just happened—two seconds later the door reopened and I thought she had possibly figured out her error–but instead she opened the door and handed me the bottle of champagne, said not a word, gave me one last glance at her full frontal nudity–and closed the door.
A bottle of champagne and 92-bucks, and two long stares at a fully naked woman at age 17…not a bad tip for an eight dollar pepperoni and cheese.
Buck Out
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When I was about 10 years old I found a $50 blowing around on the sidewalk outside a local chain department store. No one was around in the parking lot so my Mom let me keep it. I’m pretty sure I bought fireworks with it later that summer.
Recently I found $40 jammed in the cash dispenser of a standalone ATM at a local bar. Kept it, drank for free that night, and checked the machine the next few times I was there.
I do return excess change if I catch the error but when I was younger I probably would have kept it, same as Jeff.
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I always try and give the money back I find since I experience great joy in pointing out others mistakes.
But I did find a few hundred dollars at a neighbors house in a box in their underware drawer while they were on vacation.
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Hats off to Buck!!
Jeff, The Cocteau Twins were pretty good and there was no-one else like them. A lot of people say that they had an Enya-esqueness ( this word is not allowed in Scrabble!), but they did not. She does suck.
I’m reading ‘Me Cheeta’ just now. Its possibly the funniest book I’ve read this decade. Check it out.
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In my 20′s I use to be a head cashier at a local grocery …..I had a sports car and would park way in the back of the parking lot so I would not get any dings ….
One night leaving work I noticed a purse in the child carrier part of a grocery basket ..I opened the purse and was amazed at the big ass wad of cash .It was the bar owners purse next door .I took it and went over to the bar and the owner flipped right out she said that was a weeks worth of deposit’s Kim thanked me and guess who gets to drink ‘free ‘….’day …..MORE GUINESS PLEASE !
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Found Money always comes through the washing machine at my house. I never ask whose it is– I just flatten the bills out and leave them on the counter. they disappear overnight.
I once found a $20 bill at the Washington Monument. No one else was near so I pocketed it.
I only pay cash at one place in town and the cashier always counts it back to me. Everything else goes on plastic. I don’t have time for folks to make change. Have you seen some of these cashiers, lately? It is certainly expecting too much to think they can count.
No offense to anyone who is a cashier. or whose mom is a cashier or whatever.
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Good Morning Surf Reporters……
I didn’t jump into the fracas and the fray yesterday. I took the entire day off and in the words of Peter Gibbons…. ” I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be. ”
Best ground score would have to be brand new crisp $50 bill laying at the base of an oak tree at a local golf course. That covered my round, drinks and food.
As far as catching a cashier short changing themselves, I always ask them if they’re sure. Most throw a quizzical look and you can just see the wheels turning in their head. I usually hand it back.
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I’ve met you JCIII most people give you a quizzical look.
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Is anyone still interested in this question? Here’s mine:
Found $150 at an entrance to a store, went in and told the pimply clerk about it, he was more than willing to take it from there but I wasn’t that stupid. I left my name and number in case anyone came back looking for it. I received a call later and returned it. Same thing as above, the guy says thanks and walks away. What a dick.
Was standing ankle-deep in the ocean once and felt like seaweed was was wrapping around my feet but was a $20 bill. Looked around and there was another $20. Spent the next 2 hours scouring the beach but found nothing more, and since no one ever came around looking for it, I kept it.
Found a $20 once on a street in DC that had bums sleeping nearby. Felt bad that they weren’t the ones to find it so I gave one of them $5. Should I have given more?
Switch it the other way around, I left my ATM card in the machine once and drove away leaving the screen at the point of asking if I was done with my transaction, so the next person could have got at least $300 out of it. My wife was none too happy about that after I discovered it gone later. Got a phone call from a lady who looked in the phone book and called me. I think I ended up giving her $40 or so. Was that cheap?
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J shifty– were you driving a Subaru?
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Also, I was fishing in the Chicago river in downtown Chicago once–and a woman on one of the bridges above dropped about 40-dollars in ones and fives into the water. Money was falling from the sky all around us. I recovered about 30 of it….and it’s when I learned that when money gets saturated, it sinks.
I climbed the ladder up to the bridge and gave it back to her.
She said thanks.
Buck Out
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If anyone in FLA see’s “for a good time call Brandy” written in a public washroom, please forward me the number. Thanks.
About 6 years ago, in between “real” jobs, I worked as a waiter. I also spent many years as a youth sweating in kitchens. These days, I would always return miscounted change. (It was harder work and paid much less than what I do now but that’s another story.) I was scheduled to wait on tables one night when the Red Hot Chili Peppers were playing in town. Since I had taken a three day road trip the week before to see them in Montreal I hadn’t made plans to see them in my own town. (The Montreal show was announced two months before the Ottawa show.) However, my shift was cut short after the dinner rush and as I was cleaning up to leave I found $15 under a now empty table in the corner of the restaurant. Needless to say I read the sign from above and drove to the arena, where I was able to buy a concert ticket for…$15.
Rock and Roll Karma.
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another submission after reading all the other comments… About a year ago I found a credit card in the parking lot of the AM/PM Mini Market.
Luckily the name on the card was in the phone book. The lady was freaking out on the phone and said she’d be right down.
I gave her the card and she left. About an hour she came back to my office and handed me a thank you card with $20 tucked inside. She stated $20 was nothing compared to the damage that could have been done if that card would have gotten into the wrong hands.
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Some rock n roll Karma:
Outside the Cat’s Cradle in NC about 5 years ago, I was about to put down $17 at the door to see Junior Brown, when I saw JB’s drummer having a smoke by the curb. I struck up a conversation and mentioned how much I liked the band the last time I saw them, etc., etc.
5 minutes later, my name was on “get in for free” list at the door. I think he was flattered that I recognized him, but he is a great drummer and JB puts on an awesome show – I shit you not, friends.
Buck, what in the world were you expecting to catch in the Chicago River? Fish with five eyes and a penis? That water is nasty, dude.
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My age really doesn’t play into whether or not I give the money back. Karma is the deciding factor. Was the wait staff a bunch of rude d**ks doing me a favor by being there? Keep the money. Was the waitress nice, and polite? Give it back. Was I shopping at Wal-Mart where I’m sure Ive been screwed over in ways I can’t conceive of and yet made it out to the parking lot with the dog food still under the shopping cart? Yeah not taking that back, they owe me. Was I dealing with a local business man that goes to my church and sends his kids to my wife’s pre-school? He’s getting the $20.00 back. See how it works.
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My wife and I found 2,700 pesos in a wad in the gutter outside our apartment building a couple months ago — that’s about $55 in real money, about half a month’s pay for most people here in the 3rd world.
I’m superstitious; if I don’t give the extra change back, I’m going to lose money of my own somewhere. But I usually try to point out what a dumbass the cashier is being.
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Ky Dave- Cool! It’s like you’re controlling other folks karma instead of worrying about your own. I like that! You are now a god-like figure to me.
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And is that KY– like the Jelly?
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If anyone see’s “for a good time call Brandy” in a public washroom, forward kevindust the number, but disregard any lewd comments that are sure to be written nearby…
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I’m jonesin for today’s update, Kay.
Don’t make me start quoting oprah on your ass.
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Oh shit, are you actually supposed to call a phone number or just stand there and yell, “Brandy”? Somebody needs to lay down some rules. I’m sick of making an ass of myself.
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harumpa: J shifty– were you driving a Subaru?
I drove a mighty Ford Festiva in those days.
Or are you secretly asking if I’m a lesbian? That is absolutely no myth: the streets here are crowded with Outbacks.
The more you know.
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Also, curse you Jeff for getting me hooked on the amazonmp3 Twitter feed. Today was the first day I actually took the plunge: 26 tracks of Buddy Holly The Definitive Collection for $1.99
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Here’s another one-and also why dogs bring good karma-I was outside a restaurant in Fox Lake, IL once (lived nearby in Twin Lakes, WI while training the world’s greatest at RTC Great Lakes) anyway….I had another trusty Husky then named Sabre, God rest his soul. If you know anything about Huskies it’s hard to leave them alone, especially when they are young, they are very high-energy and love to get into trouble! So, I had Sabre in the car and was taking him for a little walk along the river there next to the restaurant before we were going to have quick meal. Lo and behold while walking along there was a five and another and another! $15 buckaroos! I kept it this time! Probably because Sabre had just eaten a couch or something.
BTW-I think the restaurant was called the Riverside or something, but they had the biggest and best pasta bowls! It was about 5 meals worth in every bowl! Fantastic!
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Jason, Brandy isn’t an uncommon name in the south. That’s a dangerous game of russian roulette you’re playing in Alabama. You have no idea who might show up…
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Brandy, I know. Last Saturday a fat man with a glass eye showed up. He let me lick his teet so it wasn’t a total loss.
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I accidentally “dined-n-dashed” at a diner last year- and the folks were very surprised when I came in the nexd day to come clean and pay up. And no, I wasn’t drunk, the night of or the next day. Just a little preoccupied.
Tried to post this last night but the little bastard wouldn’t cooperate.
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When I drove a school bus, I found 4 quarters on the very last seat after cleaning the bus up. I asked the kids that afternoon who was sitting in that seat. (Silence) They finally said who it was. I said, “I found money on that seat this morning, If you can identify it, it’s yours.” Every kid on the bus says, “Oooo, It’s mine.”
Kid that was actually sitting in that seat says, “4 quarters.” Gave it back to him.
Otherwise, found money is mine, and usually wrong change too.
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i like it when things match. watch this: the most money i’ve ever found was a $20 outside of a . . .wait for it. . . sheetz store.
thank you! goodnight.
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