Welcome to the Surf Report Souvenir Shop!

Evil Twin t-shirt in blue/gray/white, at final closeout price! Just $10, postage included. Insanity.

Of all the shirts we’ve produced through the years, this is my favorite. In fact, I liked it so much I purchased a metric ton of ‘em. Most have now been sold, to nice folks like Melissa, pictured here:

But it’s now time to close-out the item, and I will be selling the remaining stock at just ten dollars each, postage included. Lots of these babies were purchased at eighteen bucks a throw, so this is a great opportunity to get your hands on a great-looking shirt for not much money.

Stock is limited, though, and only the following quantities remain:

Small (6)
Large (1)
XXL (2)

So, if you want one, now’s the time to order! Your PayPal link is below.

Blue/Gray/White “Evil Twin Design” short-sleeve shirts – a thing of beauty with a ridiculously low price!
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Or Trade Beer For a Shirt!

That’s right, donate some beer to the cause and I’ll mail you a shirt, while supplies last. Your donations help a great deal, and are very much appreciated. And now, for a limited time… if you chip in at least ten dollars to the Surf Report beer fund, I’ll mail you a shirt. But hurry! As you can see by the quantities listed above, they’re almost gone.

Here’s the beer portal.

Grab a signed copy of Crossroads Road for just $16, postage included

My debut novel is available at places like Amazon and Barnes & Noble, but it won’t feature a customized inscription from yours truly, and my arthritic monkey-style signature. The only place you can get that is here. I sold a bunch of copies at $20, but now they’re… you know, less.
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91 Responses to “Welcome to the Surf Report Souvenir Shop!”

S, on June 12th, 2009 at 1:54 pm Said:

If I didn’t absolutely HATE catfish I might be interested…

[Reply]
Wisey in Ttown, on June 12th, 2009 at 1:55 pm Said:

I am all up in it

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Kevindust, on June 12th, 2009 at 1:55 pm Said:

The new colour combo looks great and it just so happens I’m wearing my green/orange/white long sleeve at work today and am getting a lot of looks and double takes!!

(Yes, I spelled colour with a “u”, eh.)

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Jeff, on June 12th, 2009 at 1:56 pm Said:

S, That’s not a catfish. It’s… whatever fish you happen to love.

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JCIII, on June 12th, 2009 at 1:59 pm Said:

Count me in to add the new color scheme to my ever increasing Smoking Fish wardrobe / ensemble

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Jason, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:00 pm Said:

Very nice. I’m gettin one of those bitches. It’s too hot for my long sleeve now.

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jim britton, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:04 pm Said:

Hi, Jeff. I want to order two XL shirts, but I can’t seem to find the “multiples” button thingy.
Can you help?
Thanks!
Jim Britton
britton@subgenius.com

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Andy, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:07 pm Said:

I realize that I’m going to sound like a whiny bitch, but I wish you had tall sizes. I’m a man of considerable girth AND height. I needs me a XXLT.

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Powers, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:09 pm Said:

Putting the design on the back would be much better in my opinion.

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Jeff, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:11 pm Said:

Jim, There’s no window where you can change the quantity? Wonder if I set it up wrong? I’ll take a look at it.

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WVULauren, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:12 pm Said:

Sweet! More of my favorite sleeping T-shirts!

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Brianf, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:16 pm Said:

I’ma gonna’ git me one of ‘dem.

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Marlena ~, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:22 pm Said:

I agree with powers ……….
The back is is where it’s at ! ‘

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NDfaninAZ, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:22 pm Said:

I’m all over it, like white on rice.

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Marlena ~, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:23 pm Said:

Sticky white rice ……eew

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jeff_in_niagara, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:25 pm Said:

I don’t mean to disagree with our host, but that sure looks like a catfish to me.
Barbell thingees, no scales…I’m just sayin’

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Jeff, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:31 pm Said:

It’s a catfish, Jeff, if you LIKE catfishes. It’s something else if you hate ‘em.

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DougInCincy, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:33 pm Said:

If you want it on the back…just wear it backward…duh.

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Casey, on June 12th, 2009 at 2:37 pm Said:

I’m with Andy. Need the Tall sizes (XXXLT). I’m tall AND fat!

Make that happen, and I’ll buy one of every t-shirt you put in the WVSR Store!

[Reply]
tadpolegal, on June 12th, 2009 at 3:02 pm Said:

Hey Ladies of the WSVR-
Think we can get Jeff to make a girls shirt?

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tadpolegal, on June 12th, 2009 at 3:03 pm Said:

I mean WVSR- It’s Friday- I need a drink!

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Limey, on June 12th, 2009 at 3:12 pm Said:

I’m another a whiny bitch that needs XXLT

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Andy, on June 12th, 2009 at 3:35 pm Said:

Fat giants are overrepresented in the WSVR readership. Raise your hand if you’re surprised.

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Mark, on June 12th, 2009 at 3:36 pm Said:

Jeff……. ya gotta have condoms emblazoned with the fish! Can you imagine the reaction ? LMAO…..

[Reply]
Swami Bologna Reply:
February 21st, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Mark, I think you misspelled “erection.” (Oh, yes, I can imagine it.)

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other kristin, on June 12th, 2009 at 4:06 pm Said:

I’m still holding out hope for a coffee cup or window decal/bumper sticker.

I agree about the logo on the back.

Like the new color combo

I agree with tadpolegal – just like the guys need tall shirts, we need a feminine cut.

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Knucklehead, on June 12th, 2009 at 4:22 pm Said:

Tadpolegal and other kristin -
We just got him to make the long sleeve version after all this time. Baby steps, ladies, baby steps. Maybe next season. Jeff?

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Biff Spiffy, on June 12th, 2009 at 4:34 pm Said:

I’d go for the knick-knack swag – cups & stickers and suchlike. Those douchey oval eurostickers would be great, I’d buy a fistful. Already have 2 shirts and a hat, pretty soon I’ll need to get an embroidered button-down to complete my collection.

Maybe a hoodie in time for fall?

I vote that the new colors don’t suck.

[Reply]
Hungover Near Nay Aug Reply:
August 1st, 2011 at 6:50 pm
ooh hoodie! yes! 100% COTTON though!!

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Juancho, on June 12th, 2009 at 5:09 pm Said:

Entrepeneurs like you are going to turn this recession around! Bring on the mugs!

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Trisha aka Mrs. Wally, on June 12th, 2009 at 5:33 pm Said:

Another vote for a female cut tshirt and a hoodie.

Love the new colors!

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plaz, on June 12th, 2009 at 5:45 pm Said:

i second that tall one – the last grey seemed long enuf – the orange still hangs in the closet unworn because it is too short.

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Gretchen, on June 12th, 2009 at 5:56 pm Said:

Add me to the pile for wanting a female cut t-shirt. The “unisex” version is always all sorts of wrong for me. And I’m not a woman “of size” (well, I suppose that’s all relative; in the Midwest I’m too skinny but back East I could stand to lose five pounds, which is why I live in the happy medium of Pittsburgh).

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Greg, on June 12th, 2009 at 6:54 pm Said:

Like the new colors! Just bought mine!

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Jorge, on June 12th, 2009 at 8:23 pm Said:

Most large companies don’t tell their salespeople too much about what’s coming down the product development pipelne because the reps tend to tell customers about whats coming instead of selling what they have now.

It’s a good lesson.

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hungover near nay aug, on June 12th, 2009 at 8:52 pm Said:

Any chance the design could be printed on… so not so scratchy?

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KD, on June 12th, 2009 at 9:54 pm Said:

Yay! I’ve been waiting for this ever since I accedentally bleached the green one I gave to my husband! Not bleached as in put in a wash of whites with bleach, bleached as in I put bleach in the machine and it all ran onto the floor where the shirt was and was soaked up…it turned an odd half-tie-die green and off-white. I was very sad.

SO now my husband will have a brand shiny new one! (btw, I would buy one for myself if you had the “ladies” sizes, or even a polo with the design in the corner)

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Wisey in Ttown, on June 12th, 2009 at 10:16 pm Said:

Mugs and hoodie would be cool. Maybe some boxers too.

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tomH, on June 12th, 2009 at 10:29 pm Said:

I’d buy a coffee mug with this on it in a heartbeat.

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Dudley Dawson (Booger), on June 12th, 2009 at 10:39 pm Said:

Tried to order – It gave me a hard time about my phone number format or some such.

Not sure why you need my phone number anyway.

To much trouble – I guess I will not be ordering a shirt.

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brian, on June 12th, 2009 at 11:21 pm Said:

Got the other shirt, like tomH I must have a mug.

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akgrrl2001, on June 12th, 2009 at 11:38 pm Said:

bumper stickers? with the old fish logo?

or perhaps a bowl of corn mother fuckers?!

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Gino, on June 13th, 2009 at 8:49 am Said:

Is it possible that you could order a massive decal that I plaster onto the sides of my Scion? Having a giant, angry, smoking fish on the side of my car would end up being the greatest thing in my life.

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cc, on June 15th, 2009 at 8:41 am Said:

Love the new color and another vote for a women’s style-even a tank top. I can’t stand things tight around the neck and it took forever to cut the collar out of my last fish shirt. I would buy a sticker or mug as well. And (sorry Evil Twin) I prefer the old logo.

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Kevindust, on June 15th, 2009 at 10:23 am Said:

Gino, just grab a brush and paint away!

http://i718.photobucket.com/albums/ww185/Kevindust/StockCarPre-Season2009032.jpg

[Reply]
sportzbelle, on June 15th, 2009 at 1:04 pm Said:

I’m definately a fan of the old logo and would love a ladies cut version. I’m sure you’ve looked into it already but why not use Zazzle or one of those companies. Seems like it would be a lot less work for you.

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The Mole, on June 15th, 2009 at 1:47 pm Said:

Small design on front, large design on back would just rock.

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Strangeart, on June 15th, 2009 at 4:01 pm Said:

I like Evil Twin’s logo, but I never had an opportunity to get one of the old ones, so I really want a T with the original logo.

I would definitely buy a hoodie with either logo, too.

[Reply]
bikerchick, on June 16th, 2009 at 9:38 am Said:

Love it! Hey Girls….Until our fearless leader adds to the selection of shirts, order one size smaller and cut out what you don’t want…collar, sleeves… or just cut a straight line from the collar to the cleavage! OOOOT! OOOOT!

[Reply]
-- Steve, on June 16th, 2009 at 11:04 pm Said:

I’ll order the shirt, but would really like to see Smoking Fish temporary tattoos – suitable for assapplication – it sure would make Smoking Fish Sightings even more interesting!

[Reply]
Erica, on June 17th, 2009 at 2:22 pm Said:

I’m in for a female cut shirt as well and a hoodie…I’d also love a coffe mug…

[Reply]
The Mole, on June 23rd, 2009 at 12:00 pm Said:

Better idea off my previous suggestion. Small original fish on front over pocket area, large new fish on back.

[Reply]
WB in OH, on June 23rd, 2009 at 12:31 pm Said:

Jeff,

I’m struggling to buy a shirt. When I click on buy it sends me to Paypal and I get lost there, any help would be appreciated.
If I’ve somehow purchased three shirts already I only need one.

Thanks

[Reply]
other kristin, on June 24th, 2009 at 4:04 pm Said:

:::sigh::: if there’s not gonna be a ladies’ shirt, is there a size chart to see what size to buy?

[Reply]
Shiny Rod, on June 26th, 2009 at 11:29 pm Said:

Awesome, I have to add this to my collection of one.

[Reply]
bee, on July 15th, 2009 at 11:29 pm Said:

Jeff, would love to get a sweatshirt for brother for christmas. I’m thinking everybody at Kanawha Cou nty Sheriff’s Dept would buy one as soon as he wore it there. Any chance of a sweatshirt comming?

[Reply]
Northerner on Holiday, on July 17th, 2009 at 8:52 pm Said:

I keep buying these for my boyfriend and my husband. Yes, I have one of each, what of it?
But I would prefer to have my support emblazoned across my very own knockers…Where are the tiny chick shirts?
I will dutifully continue to purchase for my men but what about me Jeff?

[Reply]
Chuck, on August 11th, 2009 at 7:19 pm Said:

Just ordered my Retro Fish; been waiting for him to make it back!

Did ya ever consider coffee mugs with the fish?? I’d love to have my boss come trolling through the cube farm and see “Holy Crap In A Bundt Pan” staring back at him. Maybe he’d slither back to his office quietly……..

[Reply]
G, on August 15th, 2009 at 10:25 am Said:

I’m in!

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PhillipPDX, on August 17th, 2009 at 1:45 pm Said:

Jeff…any chance on getting a 3XL tall. I’m a big/tall SOB !!

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Kathleen, on August 21st, 2009 at 10:21 am Said:

Please count my vote for Ladies cut t-shirt and a hoodie. But I’m going to buy one of each – because I need another man’s cut t-shirt that looks like absolute crap on me. Not really, but I can’t resist.

[Reply]
ashton, on September 2nd, 2009 at 3:02 pm Said:

Ordered two classic XL’s a while back. You got that on order, Jeff ? (no rush).

(i LOVE the classic design. The new one is nice, but too much going on for a shirt, IMO, although I wear mine quite a bit).

[Reply]
JASMIN, on September 9th, 2009 at 10:12 pm Said:

I also vote for the ladies cut shirt.

And if you did get WSVR mugs made (say with the retro fish?) I’m sure those would go off faster than a prom dress…. I would definitely add one to my mug collection.

Whaddaya say Jeff??? Any chance?

[Reply]
Melissa, on September 10th, 2009 at 12:49 pm Said:

Add me to the list of confused chicks who don’t know what size shirt to buy. Here my wallet is out….credit card ready & the sizes are stumping me. Will a L be too L? Will a M be too M? I’d like to display that puppy but can’t do if I’m swimmin’ in it!
***Sigh***, I guess I’ll go with L and hope for the best!

Oh, and Jeff, you GOTTA print up some decals for cars. Cheap and oh man, would people be advertisin’ for ya!

[Reply]
Gretchen, on September 10th, 2009 at 12:53 pm Said:

Yeah, there really should at least be a size chart up here.

[Reply]
WB in OH, on September 25th, 2009 at 10:22 am Said:

Jeff-PayPal is giving me fits. Something ain’t right with the link. Please address and let me know I would like to get the limited edition miss communication t-shirt shipped with my other one. Thanks WB

[Reply]
Jeff, on September 25th, 2009 at 10:34 am Said:

Sorry. The link should work now. I’d blame PayPal, but it was probably my fault. I’m dumm.

[Reply]
WB in OH, on September 25th, 2009 at 10:46 am Said:

Wa ha ha ha ha…Excellent!

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Northerner on Holiday, on September 25th, 2009 at 11:09 am Said:

Girl shirts Jeff. Little tiny girl shirts. We want to bring sex appeal to the surf report.
I figure volume postings might get us heard.
I have bought 2 of your shirts thus far and both my husband and boyfriend wear them regularly.
It’s my turn.

[Reply]
squawvalleyskip, on September 25th, 2009 at 11:22 am Said:

I have refused to use Paypal since way back before E-Bay owned them, for personal reasons. So it would be cool if you also posted a mailing address for USPS money order payments. I’d buy an original Smoking Fish t-shirt (sorry, but I’m another one who thinks the retro version is still the real deal) if they had pockets, but I need a pocket. Just one of those things I require. I, for one, would jump right on an original design in that chrome plastic outline thing the christians stick on their cars. I think a Smoking Fish on the tailgate of my truck (and maybe on my Harley too) would be the epitome of cool. And cost be damned, on one or three of those babies.

[Reply]
Kim, on September 25th, 2009 at 11:40 am Said:

The bumper fish idea is hilarious, squawvalleyskip! I’d buy that.

[Reply]
WVBumblebee, on September 25th, 2009 at 12:19 pm Said:

Jeff, HELP!! I want 2 XL of the oops shirts! BUT, I am having problems with paypay. the credit card Ihad on file with them is expired and they are refusing my new one. I’ve sent them an email but who knows how long that will take! Can I send you a money order, check, somehting? Bee

[Reply]
WVBumblebee, on September 25th, 2009 at 12:41 pm Said:

Finally got paypal to work. 45 mins later!! Order accomplished!

[Reply]
Jeff, on September 25th, 2009 at 12:42 pm Said:

If you want to send a check or whatever, here’s the address:

Jeff Kay
PO Box 4
Olyphant, PA 18447

Please make it out to my name, not TheWVSR.

Thanks!

[Reply]
Sonny in NH, on September 25th, 2009 at 4:38 pm Said:

LOVE the retro-fish…and a bumper fish would be the tits!!!

[Reply]
30 miles south, on September 25th, 2009 at 4:59 pm Said:

Jeff – you poor man, it seems you’ve opened up a can of worms! All the special requests for different sizes and mugs and stickers!
Could I get a XL shirt with an angus burger on it?
Just kidding. I use to sell T-shirts and I am familiar with the headache you may be going thru to please everyone with so many different sizes. Of course, if I buy a shirt, I’d want it the correct size. I understand the customers point of view, but I just want to say, “THANKS Jeff, for all the work you do for us!

[Reply]
30 miles south, on September 25th, 2009 at 5:02 pm Said:

Since I’m a fairly new surf reporter, I am a bit confused about which is the retro logo and which is the new logo? Can anyone explain it to me?

[Reply]
The T-Shirt Lady, on September 26th, 2009 at 8:06 pm Said:

Hey Jeff…thought I would check out your site, it has been awhile since I was here last, love the new layout…
Just to clear things up for you, yes…my helper IS an elf, he lives in a tree, has pointed ears, the whole deal. Claims to be a relative of the Keeblers, but due to his recent “Faux-pas” I am forced to believe otherwise…I’ve never seen cookies in the wrong shape or flavor…Best of luck with your “ugly shirts”

[Reply]
WV.Hillbilly, on October 12th, 2009 at 2:33 pm Said:

Are the retro shirts shipping yet?

[Reply]
Marcie, on October 21st, 2009 at 11:17 am Said:

Hey Jeff,
Have the Miscommunication shirts shipped yet? I ordered one back on 9/25. Know you’re busy, just making sure my neighbors didn’t steal mine.
Thanks

[Reply]
Matt in Florence, on November 5th, 2009 at 9:17 pm Said:

Hey Jeff – you get my email about the shirt? Like Marice, I ordered it on Sept 25th, and haven’t received it yet. I’ve sent you a couple of emails about that and other crapola, but you haven’t responded – you getting the messages?

[Reply]
jeff_in_niagara_no_more, on December 6th, 2009 at 3:22 pm Said:

Yo- it’s been quite a wait for my miscommunication shirt, I think my order’s slipped through the cracks perhaps–Paypal cleared in September, I think……………

[Reply]
plaz, on April 22nd, 2010 at 11:04 pm Said:

put me down for a guy that needs em in big and tall sizes. the last one was a little short so now my son wears it.

[Reply]
Steve, on April 23rd, 2010 at 9:51 pm Said:

Wilsonville, Oregon (Primary)
Logan West Virginia
Charlotte, NC
Red Hook, NY

[Reply]
notalice, on August 1st, 2011 at 2:33 pm Said:

Bought a medium, supposedly the last, hoping I’ll have it in time for my birthday. Seeing the dates of these posts I’m starting to have doubts I’ll see it at all (;_;) maybe the counts weren’t updated?
I agree: tiny little girl tanks would be awesome.

[Reply]
dto Reply:
August 1st, 2011 at 2:48 pm
your birthday this year or next year?

[Reply]
notalice Reply:
August 3rd, 2011 at 11:36 am
this one..the 7th of August..the big 23. woulda been the only one in a smoking fish tee in the whole club.

Hey Jeff,
A happy birthday e-mail to help with the disappointment? nudge nudge…

[Reply]
dto Reply:
August 3rd, 2011 at 11:45 am
Hey…I’ll send you one of mine to compliment your birthday suit.
I could get it there in time. Wear some patchouli oil.

…just sayin’….-dto

[Reply]
dto Reply:
August 3rd, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Wait…you’re a girl right??

[Reply]
notalice Reply:
August 4th, 2011 at 9:32 pm
yes indeedy most certainly female.

[Reply]
TheShrink, on February 21st, 2012 at 9:47 pm Said:

PLEASE for the love of GOD…bring back the classic T-shirt design! You know, the pre-catfish design? Please, I’m begging you. I bought one ages ago and lost it. I was heartbroken but not as much as when I saw the catfish design.

[Reply]