WTF Friday: We Need New Names For Our Coins!

During a recent trip to Canada, I was impressed by the jaunty nicknames they have for their money up there.  The loonie, the toonie, the tim’orton…  We have nothing of the sort.  I suppose the word “dime” is a nickname, but how lame is that?  Dime?  That’s not jaunty at all.  How embarrassing.

No, I think we can do better.  And to get the ball rolling, I will offer five new nickname suggestions for each of the most popular coins in America.  All of them, I believe, would be an improvement over the crushingly dull excuses for loose change identifiers we currently use.  I mean, seriously.

Please choose your favorites (or list your own in the comments), and start injecting them into everyday conversations.  Together, we can escape the deep humiliation of “dime,” and “nickel.”  Oh my god… will somebody please hold me?


poop dot
american cousin
booth bullet


purse biscuit
twentieth-dollar piece


polio penny
watch battery
Levi’s rivet


whore’s dollar
birch incisor

Please note:  I don’t usually update the site on Fridays, for a variety of reasons.  But starting today I will attempt to post something out of the ordinary on that day, under the heading WTF Friday.

This might include Mockable-style goofiness (like the one above), an email interview with a real person, a podcast, a guest post, or something I haven’t even considered yet.  So, it’ll be the regular stuff Monday through Thursday (“I was in Target the other day…”), and something unusual on Friday.  That’s the plan, anyway…  We’ll see how it goes.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a great weekend.  Mine will blow a whole petting zoo, but that doesn’t have anything to do with yours.

I’ll see you guys on Monday.

Now playing in the bunker

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So, who is this guy?

Thanks for stopping by! My name is Jeff Kay, I was born while JFK was president, and it's all very embarrassing and corny. Today I'm a suburban husband and father, who is sometimes accused of being a bit tightly-wound. The West Virginia Surf Report! is my creative outlet, and insurance policy against completely losing my shit. I hope you'll stick around and participate in the lively community of geniuses and curmudgeons who hang out here every day. I love a full 87% of them! And while you're at it, please follow me at Twitter and Facebook.

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