A few nights ago I was listening to Clive Bull on my iPod at work, and he was asking male callers if they carry a wallet. And it was a classic Clive topic.
He’s very good at taking subjects that originally seem inconsequential, and turning them into high entertainment. He asks all the right questions, and draws great stories from his callers.
It’s no wonder I love his show, since I attempt to do a lot of the same things here at the Surf Report. Ya know?
Anyway, I have a larger point, but first I’ll answer Clive’s question. No, I do not carry a wallet. I haven’t since I was in my early 20s, and still trying to figure it all out. I call it the Cologne Years.
I just keep my driver’s license and miscellaneous cards in my left front pants pocket, with paper money wrapped around the outside of the brick. It’s a system that’s served me well.
I don’t like things jammed down my back pockets, for some reason. It’s annoying, and causes me to sit at an angle — like I’m perpetually easing one out. Plus, I don’t need to add another layer of thickness to my ass area. I really don’t.
So, that’s the way I do it. What about you? Or, if you’re of the female persuasion, what about the men in your life? Do most still carry wallets? I have a feeling they do, but I haven’t paid a whole lot of attention.
And while we’re at it, do you ever carry a man-purse? Maybe a messenger bag, or a backpack? I could certainly use one, but it’s more masculine to walk around with my arms full of crap, I believe. I experimented with a backpack while I was working my previous job, and a security guard gave me a raft of shit about it. So, I just said screwit.
Do you, or the men in your life, carry a bag of some sort? I have a Jack Sack for my laptop, but don’t carry a man-bag on a regular basis. What about you?
And just so you know: the word wallet gives me the heebie-jeebies. I can’t put my finger on the exact reason, but it’s one of those things that make me tense-up a little. It’s just kind of embarrassing and dorky: wallet.
Other words and phrases in that category are underpants, supper, ’nuff said, and anyhoo. That’s four right off the top of my head, and there are dozens of others I recognize as encountered.
Are there certain words or phrases that cause your jaw to lock? I have a feeling everyone has a private list. So, let’s hear ’em. Use the comments section below.
And since we’re on the subject, I came across a really GOOD phrase a few days ago, at a beer review site. I noticed folks using the word sessioning, in both the articles and comments.
They’d say something along the lines of, “This is an excellent light, crisp beer, perfect for sessioning.” And as far as I can tell, it’s just a fancy way of saying binge drinking.
Is that not great? A couple hours ago I went to the beer store myself, and purchased yet another case of Yuengling lager, in anticipation of some weekend sessioning. In fact, I wouldn’t mind opening a new session, right now. Anyone with me?
Also, the 2008 Pazz n Jop music survey has been released, at the Village Voice. I have many disagreements with them this year, I’m afraid, but don’t really feel like getting into it. Let’s just say my Top Ten in no way corresponds with their Top Ten.
If you haven’t signed up for our new and improved mailing list, please take a second or two to do it now. You’ll be provided access to periodic super-secret updates. Plus, starting on Monday afternoon, there will be a weekly dispatch from the bunker. It’ll be fun, I think. So make sure you’re subscribed. It’s a matter of national security, or something.
And that’s all the energy I have for today, boys and girls.
See you next time.