What Was the Worst Car You’ve Ever Owned?
Yesterday I told you I didn’t really know what day it was, and I wasn’t kidding. I’m not going to be able to write a real update today, I’m afraid. Sorry about that. My grandmother’s dementia didn’t kick-in until she was almost eighty… I think it’s starting a little early in my case.
I had a pretty good Question of the Day penciled in for this one. At least I think it’s good; sometimes it’s difficult to predict. I’d like to know: What’s the worst car you’ve ever owned? What was wrong with it? Why has it gone down in history as The Worst?
Mine, of course, was that rolling basket of turds known as the Chevy Blazer. Longtime readers lived through the nightmare with me. It was a total and complete hunk o’ junk. The repair costs were higher than the monthly payments, I think. The electrical system was jacked-up, from day one, and the engine gave me a lot of trouble too. And the thing was practically new when I bought it.
So, that’s my worst. What’s yours? And if you’ve never had a bad car (you fancy-pants bastard), just tell us about the worst car you’ve ever ridden in.
Also, I’ve watched the video at the other end of today’s Further Evidence link, roughly ten times. I find it to be hilarious, for some reason. I’d like to get your thoughts on it. Watch the fat guy in the blue and white striped shirt, he makes several appearances. UPDATE: I just found a longer version, with additional footage at the end, here.
And I’ll probably be back on Sunday. Have a great rest of the week, my friends!
Filed under: Daily
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters!!!!!
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My 1994 GMC Sonoma was my first (and only) GM vehicle. Never again. Exhaust, alternator, brakes, all before 50,000km. I had to get rid of it before the warranty ran out because there was no way I would be able to keep it on the road if I had to pay for all the repairs.
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Holy crap! Check out the lady in black that does the vertical faceplant into the pillar.
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hot fuzz Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 11:57 am
…then they get hit by chairs
…and then they just freaking disappear!!!!
…were they what the guy was trying to get from underneath the piano???
Holy harsh bruising Batman!!!!
Imagine the sound that piano was making as it flies warp factor six in the wall!!!!
I like the way Bubba in the blue and white stripes (doesn’t he know diagonal stripes are slimming) scoots across the floor… funny for us – scary for him.
I wonder if getting hit by a forklift would hurt? No wonder the guy “de-assed” the area asafp.
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Sorry, had to get that out of the way first.
Technically, I didn’t own it, but when my wife and I started dating(way way back in the good old days, 1986), she drove a ’74 or ’75 Dodge Dart. Powder Blue where there wasn’t giant rust ulcers. No heat, no reverse gear, torn up interior, cracked and faded dashboard, AM radio only, twisted out coat hanger for an antennae, no inside door handle on the passenger side, a hole in the trunk so you could see straight through to the ground, just on and on.
It was so not road worthy, and would never have passed a PA State inspection by an ethical, legitimate mechanic, but the future father in law knew a local garage jockey with an inspection license that, for a couple $20 bills, would do the old “lick and stick” and slap on a valid sticker.
We always joked about the “360 degree” inspection technique. The mechanic would walk completely around the car and say “Yup, that’ll pass”.
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Susan Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
My worst was a ’72 Dodge Dart. Damn excelerator stuck (one too many times) and rode to work at 55+mph with foot on the brake the whole way. Also, drank oil like a sieve, and was just plain scary to drive. Other POS was a lemon from the factory: 2000 Chev Malibu. Sucker left me stranded 3 times. The third time was the last time.
Hate EVERYTHING about cars, from maintenance, insurance, emissions fees, registration and payments.
Susan
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Ford Explorer – bought it brand new and it turned out to be a true lemon. Ford took it back and we got a used (nearly new) Durango which has has no problems at all.
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My first car was a 1969 Fiat that had about a gajillion miles on it when I bought it (for the princely privce of $50) and once it was delivered to my parents’ driveway, it began a steady descent into a pile of rust dust and failed Bondo. That thing never even got roadworthy again. Since then I been fairly lucky with cars- this may be due to buying Toyotas whenever possible.
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Worst car? A Citroen that’s engine would die in heavy rain, i.e. exactly when you don’t want to be fucking around under the hood with duct tape and WD40. Hey, the car was free.
No other bad cars. I don’t buy crap cars.
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That video is hilarious. The poor lady who slams head first into that pillar should probably tug on my heart strings, but I was laughing too hard.
My father gave me his old 1977 Oldsmobile 98 – the freaking thing was probably as big as the ship in the aforementioned video. It would stall every day while idlingin traffic so I’d have to hoist the steering wheel over to the shoulder and try a good 19 times to get the engine to turn over.
Tthe worst car I was in was my best friend’s 1970-(something) Pontiac Sunbird. You had a bungee cord across your lap to keep the door from flying open. No heat. A constant stench of dog shit which we could never figure out. But great memories.
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Only pseudo-lemon I had was a blazer like Jeff’s (possibly a ’98?). Luckily, I knew up front about the electrical issues and spent a week ripping out the dash and replacing the defective parts right off.
After that, It ran like a spotted-assed ape – not the best mileage though.
I think I tipped Jeff off on the best way to fix it, but by that time, he was wringing his hands like a little frenchman and looking through the Peugeot catalog, if I’m not mistaken.
Looked kind of like this:http://repairpal.com/chevrolet-blazer-1998
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I owned a 1984 Dodge Shelby Charger back in the 80s and it was a piece of crap. WORST car I ever owned. It broke down constantly, wouldn’t go anywhere in the snow and even after having it repaired it would never run right.
I hated that stupid car and it was the only one I was happy to get rid of.
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dogberryjr Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
I had the Chrysler version of this car. It ran reasonably well, but I’m pretty sure it was designed by a drunk monkey. The speedometer cable ran right next to the turbocharger so that thing would melt in an instant if it got too close. I spent the better part of 1986-1991 guessing how fast I was traveling.
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1990 Ford Tempo. It had a skin condition where all the clear coat flaked off. I ended up replacing the AC piece by piece until I had a new system.
The car cost $10k and I spent at least that in repairs over the years, It’s like some of the parts were made of tissue paper,
Who am I kidding, I’m not going to get any work done this afternoon. I’ve already started looking at other cruise ship vids, I’ve watched the one posted three times already,
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Definitely the vehicle I use to tow my boat. I have spent more money fixing things that I could have fixed myself but because of design. Only an authorized tech should do this. I recently had to replace the altenator for the second time to the tune of $575 and earlier this year, I had to have a whole new exhaust system installed again costing about $1700. Yes, that was my down payment for another towing vehicle. All this on my 2002 Ford Escape. So far for my 2005 Jeep Grand Cheroke, 0 repair cost outside of normal maintenance. Damn, should have gotten the tow package on my Jeep. Second worst vehicle I owned was a 1983 Chevy Citation. The engine blew up at 53,000 miles. 3K after the extended warranty expired.
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In the 70′s we had a Ford Station Wagon that had many problems NO one could diagnose. They finally “discovered” that we had a cracked engine block. About 30 days after the repair, we received a letter from Ford telling us that our model was particularly prone to that and they were doing a recall on them. The $$$ we spent to have it fixed was rebated to us! We were happy about that, but after months of sitting in car repair waiting rooms I still wasn’t happy. We sold it and years later, the guy who bought it reported that it had been a great car for him – with no problems ever. BAH!
I maintain that the guys here at our dealership knew about the cracked blocks all along, but didn’t want to fix it until Ford did the recall. The dealer’s name was Wigyul. We called it getting “Wiygulized” and it wasn’t a good thing….LOL
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1989 Ford Mustang, that thing was a piece a shit and a half. It had major elecrical problems and would eat fuses pretty much every time I turned on the headlights. Or worse yet, it would make the headlights fine, but blow the tail lights at some random moment just it time for me to get pulled over by the gendarmes. Did I mention the electrical problems? Once, every electrical system shit the bed at once, and I had to glide through three lanes of traffic on the highway to land in from of a trooper. So I had to get the sonofabitch towed, and I rode home in the back seat of the troopers car. I think he felt sorry for me because he gave me no ticket. The next morning at the mechanics, it started right up, fresh as a daisy.
Now, the decision to finally get rid of this possessed demon car, that was when it set the alternator on fire on the high rise bridge….. again.
Aqua
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i didnt own this car but my ex boyfriend got a dui and let me hold his car for the year that he lost his license and i had a 2006 chevy malibu, huge piece of shit, steering wheel constantly locked up on me while driving, nearly giving me a heart attack every time, battery always died for no reason, the AC eventually went, started making rattaling and clinking noises, smoke came from under the hood, overheated, and eventually it just died when i tried to drive it back to his place to get rid of it and had to leave it in a kmart parking lot. mind u this was only 6 months in to the year i was supposed to have it. i now despise chevy!
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The worst car I owned was a 1979 Chrysler Lebaron. It wouldn’t go in reverse. It had an AM only radio with an 8 track player. I had to use a clothes pin to hold the carbuerator open while I sprayed starter fluid in it just to start it. I almost miss that car. I will never own another chrysler.
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dogberryjr Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Did it have “rich Corinthian leather?”
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madz1962 Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
LOL!
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Bill in WV Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 9:09 am
I think that was the Chrysler Cordoba.
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lakrfool Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Yes…the Cordoba had “plush Corinthian leather”
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1973 Chrysler New Yorker. Got about 8 MPG and would not stay on the road. If I was driving above 30 miles per hour and went around a bend in the road, the ass end of the car would just skid off of the road.
The right rear fender had been bashed off of many trees, fence posts, mail boxes, and guard rails. Nothing helped, tried new tires, sand bags in the trunk. No dice.
What a piece of crap that car was.
However, it would lay rubber for an entire city block. I guess the front end weighed about 5,000 pounds and the rear end was way too light.
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Nezrite Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
I had a car that handled like that, and it was because my (now-ex) husband hit a curb and a tree with my beloved Alfa Romeo (he was dead drunk, a summary as to why he’s my ex). It wasn’t really the car’s problem, it was the POS repair place that either didn’t diagnose or chose not to fix the bent frame.
I tried to drive it to my first day of work at a new job in a light snow and every time I got over 45, it would veer right off the freeway. I had to pull over in some podunk town and call my new boss to give me a ride to work.
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I’ve recently had several issues with my current vehicle, a 2002 Hyundai Santa Fe. It was in the garage for a month back in April to the tune of $1600 (all 3 catalytic converters.) Then it was back in the garage for two weeks which cost $900.00 (replaced transmission with a used one.) Then went straight back into the garage for another two weeks because one of the catalytic converters was bad and made the muffler clog up, that trip cost $1100.00. Then as soon as I got it back I had to buy front rotors, $90.00. Oh and in between there I had to have the harmonic balancer and serpentine belt replaced, $100.00. So in total that all cost $3790.00. I owe $5000 on the car. It could have been almost paid off. Sonofa.
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Shiny Rod Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Hyundai, Mazda and Ford must have collaborated on that 3 catalytic convert crap. Have to replace mine twice was no fun, sweet saint mother of carberators.
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JQ Brat, I feel your pain… I have a 1995 BMW M3. I’ve owned it now for the last six years, so I’ve gotten some good mileage out of it. It’s definitely no lemon, by any definition of the word. However, a bunch of components finally all failed over the course of this summer.
I’ve replaced the radiator, along with all of the associated fans and pulleys and pumps… that was $2200. Then I just had to replace the A/C compressor for $1300. So $3500 in three months.
And that’s on top of the $1200 I paid for an all-new suspension roughly a year ago. That was parts-only, and I installed it with the help of a friend.
The car’s completely paid off, so I’m not too upset about having these maintenance costs. However, sometimes I think about selling it and just leasing a new car. I know that leasing is considered the worst financial move, but at least I would only have to worry about a fixed monthly payment.
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I have ok cars. My first was a red chevy camaro…nicknamed the crapmaro. It looked good, but that was about it. But…when you are a skinny blond girl aged 17, many boys will fix it for you.
My other pos car was a Chrysler Sebring…it would stall for no reason. it was newish, 2005?? just bam…quit running. I got rid of it for a Chrysler minivan…no problems except I don’t look as cool. 
I think the next will be Ford. I also had a Chevy cavalier…junk!! I had to replace tons of shit. I can’t even remember, it was so much. Not to big of a chevy fan…
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Casey J Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
1986 crapmaro, so it wasn’t too cool .
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I’ve owned three very reliable Japanese cars over my 29 year driving history. Perhaps I should buy a chevy or GM product next so that I can commiserate with my fellow surf reporters about owning a poorly-built automobile (?)
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Root 66 Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
LHR – You are missing nothing, trust me! I currently own 2 Toyotas for a combined total of 15 years/223,000 miles and have had -0- problems! Never been stranded, never had a part break. Nothing but oil changes, tires and brakes. Don’t throw your hard-earned cash away on a Government Motors car!
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’89 Ford Aerostar. Absolutely the worst. Here’s the abbreviated list of faults:
-A/C quit
-Power Windows died
-Power locks died
-Would shift out of gear w/o the key!
-Gas gauge croaked
-Fuel pump overheated-almost caught car on fire
-rear end replaced
-Speedometer worked only part-time
-Heater core blew
I could go on, but this is an ABBREVIATED list! Needless to say, that was the only Ford I’ll ever own. It was nothing but a money pit.
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34 years of driving the following cars:
My mom’s (construction orange color) 1972 Volvo 244 wagon – a p.o.s. that was visible from the space station.
A green 1967 Chevy Bel Air (kind of badass for a 17 year old, but the transmission pin would pop out all the time (later traced to cracked motor mounts and the engine “jumping” up and down on starts and stops). I was always stopping at intersections, sliding underneath the car, sliding the pin back in, and getting back in to drive before the light changed. I had it down, man…
A 1974 Plymouth Valiant (an old fogeys car in appearance, but a souped up slant-6 engine under the hood that could motorvate you). This was a great car except for the electronic ignition, which failed all the time.
While courting my first wife, two p.o.s. cars that belonged to her or her family:
a 1980 Chevy Cavalier – I ruined the tranny driving to Colorado and back. This car had no pickup whatsoever – it was basically a lawnmower with a hood.
a 1980 Ford Fairmont – easliy the worst car ever made – it rattled and rolled and coughed and sputtered right out of the showroom and got worse from there – no wonder we got divorced.
From then on it was nothing but good news:
1984 Toyota Corolla
1990 Toyota Camry
1997 Jeep Wrangler
1992 Honda Civic
2007 Honda Accord
The Accord and the Wrangler are still with me and have NEVER been to the shop except for new tires (I do my own oil changes, filters, belts and brakes, thank you very much).
The Wrangler is great because the basic design has not changed since the 1950s – everything is easy to reach for repairs, that it rarely needs anyway. The Accord is a 5-speed and the fanciest thing about is the power windows. We are very utilitarian about cars in my household.
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Oh…and if I were on that ship in ‘Further Evidence’ they would also be slipping on my puke. I almost hurled just watching it. Hilarious!!
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The KIA Sorento I’m driving now scares me a little and I think it’s time to part ways. A 2006, purchased in 2007. Only 50K miles now. The reverse shits the bed. Take it to the dealership with a puckered butthole imagining the future pounding I’m gonna get. An angel must have been on my shoulder because as it turned out, it was still under warrenty up to 60K. So they replace the tranny and took almost 2 weeks when they said it would only be 3 days. Do you know what car rental is for 2 weeks? I might as well just paid for a new transmission….Jesus!!
After I get it back, a week later I’m driving home from work through downtown Pittsburgh…the fucking tranny shits the bed AGAIN…on 5th Ave.!! It wouldn’t shift and I couldn’t go above 15 MPH. My boyfriend came to get me and he drove it right to the dealership a good 10 miles awey only doing 10-15MPH. People following behind him were going nuts, flippin him off, yelling shit out of their windows. Fucking smack-off’s. He walks into the dealership and tears the dude a new asshole. I’ll be damned if I was paying for another rent-a-heap. As it ended up, he got KIA to pay for the rental. And guess what…it was done in 3 days.
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bikerchick Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 2:50 pm
On the other end of the spectrum, one of the best cars I owned was a Honda CRX. The only thing it ever needed was gas, oil and brakes. When it hit 100K it started having some problems. And I quickly got rid of it because I was single at the time and didn’t want to worry about breaking down. It was a stick shift and was better in the snow than some of the 4-wheel drive trucks I’ve had. The only problem was it bottomed out if the snow was too deep.
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
I also had a CRX. It was like a drivable slot car.
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chill Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
I had an ’84 CRX; what a great car. Quick, tossable, great fuel economy, and very roomy inside. But if they develop problems around 100k, I guess it’s just as well that my (now ex-(wife totaled it at 95k miles.
.
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Uncle_Wedgie Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
hee hee, she said “a puckered butthole imagining the future pounding I’m gonna get”
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The worst was a Mercury Sable Wagon. We had to get it used with the pittance paid by the insurance company after totalling my Jetta. The thing was a maintenance nightmare. We took it to the shop to have the power-steering fixed and when they put the PS fluid lines back in, they neglected to reattach the bracket that kept the hoses from sitting on the exhaust manifold. One day the Boss o’ Me and the Angels and I were driving along when I saw a flickering light through the vent slots in the hood. Pulled over and opened the hood and BEHOLD, I have created FIRE!!!!!!!!!! Calmly told the BoM to get the Angels out of the car and went to a local business to get a fire extinguisher. Fire Dept showed up and put the rest of the flames out. No real damage but we traded that sucker pronto.
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Worst was a Ford Fairmont wagon, circa 1978, that was a hand-me-down from my wife’s parents. First of all, it got beaten all to hell from NYC parking. Then the tranny went on the Bruckner Expressway in the Bronx while my wife was alone with an infant.
After we moved to the suburbs, it began to stall for no reason and couldn’t even climb the most modest hill without dying.
Best car… an ’89 Volvo 740 wagon that I drove for 16 years. It never gave me a problem, it just rusted away.
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I’ve only ever owned two cars. Neither was bad. But I would have to say the one I own now is the worst, and hear is why.
As a teenager, 15, I worked for a company that needed me to have a vehicle, and as a 15 year old getting paid $50 a day they knew I couldn’t afford one. So, the company bought a truck for me to use on the job. When I had just turned 17 the company and all of its equipment was sold off, except for the truck I used. The previous company owner had no use for it, so he offered to sell it to me for $1 and “two or three years of hard work, time already served”. It was new when the company first bought it and I was the only one to ever use it. Awesome.
Not having to really buy that first vehicle allowed me to save up $24000 to buy my current vehicle with a big giant wad of cash. So this current vehicle is the worst I’ve ever had because it cost more than $1.
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I’ve only had Chevy trucks. They always seem to work fine for me.
As have both of my wifes Toyota Corrollas.
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Shiny Rod Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Two wives, how did you mange that? One is too many for me.
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Uncle_Wedgie Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Do they know about each other? Isn’t that illegal?
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icecycle66 Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
One is from Kuwait, so she doesn’t really count.
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Worst car ever was a Ford taurus. Damn, I spent two entire days replacing the heater core! Now I see why the mechanic quoted me $1200 in 1995 to do it.
The car was just a piece of crap anyway. After 5 years it looked 15 years old, and everything just started to fall apart. It’s the only Ford I ever owned, and I’ll never own another one again. Ever.
And then there was my dad’s Camry. Complete pile of crap because the windshield CONSTANTLY fogged up. After a year of complaining and going to the customer arbitration board, the final solution was to always keep the A/C running on low. It worked, but how stupid is that? And they never never never offered to fix it – it was brand new when purchased, they kept insistiing it was a design flaw. Hmm. A design flaw in that one particular car my dad bought, but not on any other Camry.
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89 chevy cavalier. dependable car apparently, except for that year. if you look in consumer guides – that is the one crap year…. and thats the one I drove
weird random engine crap all the time.
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I had an 86 Jeep that was a trooper, with the exception of the world’s worst engine…a 2.8 liter V-6 that had zero horsepower, mated with a 3 speed automatic transmission. Talk about slow…I got passed by turtles accelerating faster than I could. It was reliable, though, and was great in the snow and in the mud. Also had a 94 Tempo that had no rear suspension left, so it would just bounce and bounce all the way down the road… I love my ’06 GMC Sierra though…best vehicle I’ve ever owned. It’ll do anything, go anywhere, and get 20+ mpg doing it (Which is great for a pickup truck!). worst car I’ve ever ridden in was a 94 Pontiac Grand Am with no reverse, no air or heater, and two busted out windows. My musician friend bought it for $300 and drove it until it died, then sold it for $350 to a junkyard. Good investment, terrible car.
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light blue 1985 ford escort named Bernie. It lasted maybe 10,000 miles while I owned it until the torque converter shit the bed and decided to take a nap on I-71 near exit 84 in Ohio.
The cruise ship thing is awesome. I love perspectives like that. I’ve seen a few of a school bus flipping on it’s side. I love how the tables keep returning for more shenanigans.
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Meanwhile I am driving a 9 yr old toyota echo (Wallace) that is slowly falling apart. The front end is hanging by a thread. I found a dented/bent beam in front of the radiator that I didn’t know was damaged (probably last time I rear ended someone). I need to fix a wheel bearing. The driver side window doesn’t go up or down but sticks about 3/4 of the way up. And so on, but 200,000 miles with really only shit that should go wrong on a car with that many miles (brakes, bearing, etc) or shit that I inflicted on the car (the window).
I also have an old barbie head on the antenna that has been there almost the life of the car. The barbie’s heads’ name is gretchen.
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Gretchen Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
I’ll assume you named disembodied Barbie head after another Gretchen.
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Hm…this could be a toughy…
I had a 1986 Plymouth Sundance – Breaks went out
1995 Chevy Barretta – Breaks went out, blown headgasket, several belts snapped at different points, eventually stopped running. Someone bought it and got it running and I have a feeling it’s still out there somewhere.
1987 Ford Tempo-Would die randomly when stopped and often when I was trying to pull onto busy streets. Never did find out what was wrong with it, ended up junking it before that.
1995 Chevy Cavalier-Blown Headgasket, cracked thermometer casing so the car was almost constantly overheating
2004 Hyundai Santa Fe-6 months after I bought it, the transmission went out–luckily this one was covered.
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I have decided, I do not like the reply to pos format. Instead of just going down to the bottom to see the latest comments, and using @”whoever” to see what particular person the commenter is commenting to, I have to go through each comment every time.
Lame.
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Icecycle66,
I agree. I thought I was going to like it but I’m not.
God damn Reds.
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1999 Subaru Forester (or as I called it, the “Subooboo”). A/C shit the bed and leaked water all over my foot during turns. Eventually the water that collected somewhere in the manifold went moldy so driving with the windows down was imperative. The “Check Engine” light went on and never could be coaxed to turn off despite multiple “repairs” (one technician told me to just put a piece of tape over it so I wouldn’t have to look at it). The power always pooped out at crucial, pedal-mashing moments and the car would fill with the smell of sulfur. And finally the transmission bottomed out at year six. I traded it in for a Toyota Rav4 that I’m very pleased with.
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Casey J Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
I also used the “electrical tape cure” over a check engine light…hahahaha. I thought that was just me..
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Folks, after reading all these horror stories, I have to say that’s why the Business Mgr. i.e. the F & I guy ( That’s what I do ) at the dealership tries to sell the extended service contract.
And I can tell you 90% of the items of the aforementioned repair nightmares would have been covered after the original warranty expired.
Yes, sometimes the policy can be pricey, but use them one time for a major repair and the plan payed for itself.
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I had a 1979 Dodge full-ton window van, that I used for towing a race car. This baby was basically like the ones you see on the interstate hauling either church groups, or retards, with the extended back section. It could seat somewheres around 20 retards.
I bought it (low mileage, oh boy!), pulled out all the additional retread seats, and thought I’d found a great bargain. Boy was I wrong. The flexplate / flywheel cracked….. bought a new one, tore out the trans, replaced the flexplate myself. Then the starter blew. Mystery engine oil, and antifreeze leaks occured. The rear main oil seal on the engine blew. Pull transmission out yet again to install $10 seal.
It would mysteriously die at a light, and I’d become accustomed to pulling off the engine cover in the inside of the van, putting my hazard lights on (“four ways”) and diagnosing the engine from inside the van, parked right where it died. No wonder the previous owner had sold it, imagine trying to troubleshoot a dead vehicle , when there’s 18 retards howling inside it, behind you? Or 18 bible thumpers singin’ hymms? Shit! I can’t imagine. I actually kept a tool box and starting fluid, wd-40, etc next to the drivers seat. Things often broke on that sonofabitch while it was parked in my driveway. You didn’t even have to start it or drive it, It could break on it’s own, with no outside help whatsoever. Amazing.
It also suffered from the notorious Chrysler “drive through a puddle and the ignition quits syndrome.”
If you were real lucky, you made it through the puddle before it croaked. Pop engine cover, hose everything down with wd-40, wait just long enough to be late to wherever you were going, then it would start. Grrrrrrr.
After that one, I swore I would never, ever, no matter how hard I had hit my head the day before, buy another vehicle the Chrysler had anything to do with. And for once, I’ve kept my word.
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I agree, The newfangled comments thing is just wrong. F*ckin Bush!
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Yes, I’ve always liked the name Gretchen. Not sure why.
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None of my vehicles are problem vehicles. Never had a bad vehicle–but then, I don’t go through them all that much. I’ve been driving them all in terms of decades, and still own all but one.
The worst I’ve ridden in is just about every japanese car. Why? The seats suck donkeys balls. I can stand 20 minutes tops in a camry and then those seats designed for short asian bodies finally catches up to me.
2nd worst, would be my current service van (2009 express). Not that its breaking down, but a victim of technology marching on, and some stupid design changes and penny pinching. ie: The fake turn signal sound. The stupid split mirrors that show you less than the one piece mirrors. The less than stellar a/c operation unique to this one (we’ve got a fleet of over 150 express vans, so I got plenty of side by side comparson oppertunities). Seat material that is not as durable. Control knob change that make it near impossible to see what you’ve set the hvac to without leaning over. Automatic headlights. Side curtain airbag trim in a vehicle with no side curtain airbags (I bump my head on it-never bumped my head in my last one).
The more “new” vehicles I drive, the more resolved I am to never own anything newer than 1987. Too much like an airbus (computer controlling shit rather than me).
New reply function is a pain to catch up on new comments. No good way to determine what is new and isn’t from my last stop by.
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Jimbo Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
FYI, I completely agree with you regarding the reply function… I was actually torn on whether to reply to you, or whether to put this at the bottom as a new comment.
Jeff, I like that you’re trying new things… but ever since you introduced the Reply feature, I’ve been annoyed every time that I pull up the site to catch up on the newest comments. I can’t just look at the bottom anymore, but I also don’t want to read through all comments looking for the new replies.
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The one I have now. First it was the automatic temp control. Then the starter. Then the heater blower. Today I found I have a split radiator hose. Also the Infinity radio has come up most of infinity short. Up yours Chrysler.
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 7:11 pm
also you have to remove the front bumper to put a new bulb in the headlights. is that stupid or what?
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
September 11th, 2010 at 11:33 am
Well, it wasn’t the hose. Water pump. Dammit!!!
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’72 Toyota Corolla (punpkin orange): the exhaust system, from the muffler back would go out on a regular basis, like every 6 months. I had moved to a small town, away from the dealership, very redneck, which hated any foreign car. There was one foreign car mechanic who would work on it, and he was always backed up. It would take weeks for him to replace the muffler/exhaust system. I finally sold it, and bought a ’79 Cutlass, which both I and the community loved. Currently, I have an Acura 3 litre CL (1997). The driver’s side power window mechanism has been replaced 3 times (company covered the cost). Last month, the car started stalling at random. It was the ignition switch. Replacement was $600 at Sim Bryson Acura in Charleston, WV. It still goes 145 mph. A set of Michelins still costs $800, because you have to get tires rated to 149 mph. I still love it.
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Dave's not here, man Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 7:45 am
Damn dude, you can buy a generic ignition switch at Auto Zone for $10.
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Greg Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 9:40 am
The switch is connected to the computer to prevent theft, and only Acura has the proprietary software to re-program the computer. I know, it’s a monopoly, but that’s how they roll.
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Frank Reply:
March 3rd, 2012 at 9:57 pm
chrysler rocks once you get pass the 70s ai had a 2000 chrysler town and country and loved it then had a 2005 chrysler town and country limited and loved it til a basterd backed his saab 9-5 into it then got a 2008 chrysler 300 loved it and still driving it
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My brother’s 2000 Rav4 died after 600k miles… that’s one million kilometers (somehow seems more in metric).
I have the same problem as a few others – I can’t stay on top of the replies and find myself reading and rereading. I thoroughly enjoy the replies and the interplay and am not feeling the same chemistry happening now as before. Me no likey. .
I think we gave it a fair trial…it’s time to kill the beast
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Agreed.
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Who am I? Why am I here?
My friend had a CRX once that I’d drive. I’m 6 ft and over 200 lbs, that car is not for me. I would however shift gears with my monster dong.
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Worst car ever… for some reason my old 1974 Chevy Vega springs to mind. The list of problems is short, but I consider these things to be more than just inconveniences: 1) spontaneous engine fire; 2) distributor cut itself in half. There was also the 1967 Ford Falcon with the permanent clutch-tremor; it also ate its own differential.
It seems that there are at least two definitions of a “good” car. One is a car that never gives you a lick of trouble, even if you wish it would die. Another definition would be a car that is so much fun to drive that you look forward to commuting, even if the car is not 100% trouble-free. I think the only car I’ve had that met the first definition was the Honda CRX, and it also met the second definition.
I kinda like the new “reply to” feature in the comments. Like anything else, it has its pros and cons.
.
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I’ve mentioned it before but I read a book about a Ford transmission plant and their quality control standards were shit. Bad materials, pissed off workers, management with a “fuck you we can replace you” mentality. So what you got was shit, all Ford cared about was if it beat warranty. I guess there was a famous memo where it said it was cheaper to pay out a wrongful death lawsuit than to replace all the bad tranny’s and torque converters.
I think my escort was a victim of this.
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Stephanie Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Simply because you didn’t capitalize the word “escort” I thought that maybe some paid *ahem* companion-for-an-evening was having the same problem you were having with your car.
Kind of like when Malcolm up there (and you)mentioned messing up or bad “trannys”. My brain went immediately to transvestites.
Sorry. I’ve had a long day…
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KYDave Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
I gues there’s a big difference between you having and escort with a bad “tranny” and your escort being a bad “tranny”
What does a “tranny” have to do to be considered bad anyway?
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My dad used to fix cars as a hobby. So, I would kind of hang around while he was fiddling under the hood of one car or another (this was in the 70′s, and the only car I remember “learning” anything about was a Buick Sklylark…go figure).
I also remember my Dad telling me in a very serious tone of voice: “Promise me…Don’t EVER buy a Ford. It stands for Fix Or Repair Daily”.
And so, I’ve never bought a Ford.
R.I.P, Dad. 9/8/1943 – 5/8/2003
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Nezrite Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
I always heard it as “Found On Road Dead”.
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Root 66 Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 11:51 am
…or in your rear view mirror, “Driver Returns On Foot!”
I found out the hard way. Always listen to dad!
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KYDave Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
F—ked on Race Day…
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I know that these are reserved for people who have the brains to send Jeff an extra email but I came across this while cleaning my email.
From Roughly 11-10-08 according to the comments:
Nossy carried in a box of exotic beers, and we immediately broke into those babies, while the translucents raised a ruckus downstairs in the family room. Toney and I chose a pale ale each (forgive me, but I can’t remember what kind), and Eninen shared something that looked like a pub glass full of fresh-squeezed diarrhea.
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Someone mentioned the short bus up a ways and it reminded me of an incident I experienced earlier in the day. I was rounding the corner inside the local community college when suddenly I was met with a gang composed solely of “special” kids. They were strutting down the hall like young toughs in a Pat Benatar video.
The leader wore a tight plaid shirt and his upper teeth were rocking a serious Frank Lloyd Wright cantilever. Rolling closely behind was his second in command, a five foot Fat Albert who was whipping around a yo-yo quite menacingly while his eyes went off in two different directions (which, when you think about it, makes his frenetic yo-yo-ing quite impressive).
The rest of the gang was a flurry of high waters, thick glasses, and bowling shoes. I wish I could be more descriptive but you see, the Yo-Yo of Doom was quite hypnotic. I kept thinking of GoGo Yubari and her deadly mace in Kill Bill. Thankfully they let me pass without employing the dreaded “Death by Duncan” maneuver.
And that was the highlight of my day.
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bikerchick Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 7:32 am
Gretchen: You just made my day!
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Michelle Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
“…strutting down the hall like young toughs in a Pat Benatar video.” is quite possibly the best line I’ve read all week. Kudos, madam!
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Gretchen Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 6:04 pm
Seriously, they had rhythm! Granted for one or two of them it might have just been epilepsy. But yeah, I had “Love is a Battlefield” stuck in my head the rest of the day.
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bikerchick Reply:
September 11th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
LMFAO!!!!
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Worst ever was a 1988 Chevrolet Blazer. Bought it from a local dentist who had ALL the receipts from EVERY service and repair made on the vehicle. Hey, I thought the ream of paper he handed me just meant he couldn’t do the slightest bit of maintenance by himself. Little did I know that I was purchasing a car that was posessed by Satan!
Ironically, my favorite vehicle was a 1984 S-10 pickup, followed closely by a 1982 Pinto wagon that I drove for nearly 200,000 miles.
I currently drive a 2000 Dodge 4WD that has never let me downn, except for a broken power steering hose last winter, and a 2009 Toyota Matrix…which isn’t as bad of car as one would think to have in Nome, Alaska.
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Only owned three cars:
’78 Mercury Cougar — a fucking land yacht that drank gasoline like I drink beer. Met a sad end at the hands of one of my cousins.
2003 VW Golf — maintenance nightmare but a nice car. The ex stole it when she took off.
1995 Ford F-150 — still have it, drives like a tractor but that’s how trucks should handle. Not the best thing for city driving, but I’m keeping the fucker. 6 cylinder, 5 speed manual transmission. Yee fucking haw.
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bikerchick Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 7:35 am
Rat Bastard: 1995 Ford F-one-fitty. That’s what I want. Can be a little older too. Big tires, jacked up. Yeah..I’m a redneck…what of it?
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Rat Bastard Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 10:54 am
Mine is total redneck, bikerchick…
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Shiny Rod Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 11:22 am
Does that mean you have the “Cowboy Up” sticker in the back window! ***Giggle Snort***
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Rat Bastard Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
An Irishman walks into a bar….
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My worst car was an 82 Chevy Citation. Besides the fact that it had a vertical radio, it had a serious oil leak. It would sling oil all over everything under the hood. When I was stopped at a red light smoke would come from under the hood on all four sides.
If I sat there for an extended period of time, smoke would come through the vents. People would point and yell, you’re overheating. I would smile and wave, much to their confusion.
It did not like to idle. So I would have to keep one foot on the gas and the other on the brake to keep it running while idling.
I also had a 82 Chevy Chevette that went through starters every six months.
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Shiny Rod Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 11:27 am
I know your pain all to well about the Citation. Did you know that Radio Shack was one of the only companies to make an after-market radio with cassette that fit the Citation? I kept burning out the “California Emmisions” control regulator.
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Got nothing on the car question, but I wanted to comment on the ship video.
While in the Navy, we once were in a storm and a 4-drawer filing cabinet broke loose (it was welded) and started slamming around our main equipment room. It was too dangerous to go down there until the weather smoothed-out. I can only imagine what a fork lift slamming back and forth would be like!
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My biggest POS was also my favorite car ever….
It was a 1983 Mustang GT, with the police interceptor engine in it. The interior was a nightmare the T-tops whislted and like Aqua’s 89 Mustang had bizzaro electrical issues until we figured out that the computer chip housing let the chipsets over heat, we put an after market “racing” chipset in it and solved that problem.
That car was amazing though. If you left it in first gear it would drive 15mph without even putting your foot near the gas pedal. You could roast the tires through 3rd gear. We even clocked a 26 second mile with the T-tops out on I-75 through the middle of Altanta. I will say this though, when you did get it over 100Mph it was scary. It felt like any minute the flux capacitor was going to engage and we would see the future either that or the thing was going to fly apart and leave you with the steering wheel and the seat.
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bikerchick Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I like a guy who knows how to burn his rubber….
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Dave's not here, man Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 3:19 pm
is that before, during, or after sex?
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I like a guy who knows how to burn his rubber…
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bikerchick Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
f’n computer’s burnin rubber…Grrr
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What do I think of the new reply to comments? I think I’ll let Mr Horse speak for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ3acvz5LfI&feature=related
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chill Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 6:03 pm
So you believe that the cockroaches enter, but they cannot leave? :^)
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We need a 4chan* style reply. Reply gets added to ‘the bottom’ with a reference link back to the replied to message. That an option Jeff?
*if yer sensitive, don’t visit 4chan. On second thought, what the hell, go for it.
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Chuck did you feel a chill about an hour ago? That was me driving past belpre.
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
i saw the black cloud.
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For 2 years of high school, I had ’78 Chevy Vega…turquoise with a black & yellow “racing” stripe.
At a stoplight going uphill on a wet road, I would stand on the accelerator & pop the clutch, & it still wouldn’t peel out. It would just lunge & lumber it’s way up to speed.
It was a hatchback though, so I could drive out in the woods, pop the hatch, & lay the back seat down to get my fuck on. Picking up girls in it was the hard part.
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Back home for now and headed back to Cincy in a week or so. I’ll be commenting and commenting on comments “down here” as always. I like the commenting on comments commenting thing and to go back up to the repyl boxes thing and keep a commenting on comments thread going is…well..it.kinda falls into the “fuckit bin” for me.
If anyone has any idea of what I just wrote…please let me know. Airports, Airlines and Alcohol had me in therir grips yesterday and I’m now embracing one of the three.
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hot fuzz Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
You mean like this?
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dto Reply:
September 11th, 2010 at 12:52 am
Fucking Tabernac…yeah…like that. Just because I do this once doesn’t mean I like it and is by no means a life style change.
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hot fuzz Reply:
September 11th, 2010 at 1:55 am
It’s ok to be reply-curious now that don’t ask don’t tell has been ruled unconstitutional.
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Jason Reply:
September 11th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
There’s no real harm in making replies and putting things in your ass.
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The worst car I ever owned was a 1986 Chevrolet Chevette. Not only did it blow up, twice, it did a whopping 40 miles an hour down hill and was so ugly that the birds wouldn’t even shit on it.
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I had an Oldsmobile Cutlass once. I paid $600 for it. The body color was tan but the front-end was green because it had been wrecked. Whenever you let off the gas it would die. Once while at a red light it died and I had to jump out and jiggle the cables to the battery to get it to start back up. In my haste I didn’t shut the hood good enough and it came flying up and smashed into the windshield while I was going down the highway. It was bent beyond repair so I just took the hood off and left the engine exposed.
One other time the belt broke and this lady stopped to help me. She gave me her pantyhose to use as a makeshift belt. It worked. I never did get a real belt, just used the pantyhose for the next several months.
That piece of shit used more oil than it did gas.
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I had a brown 4 door Ford Escort hatch-back. It was diesel and a stick shift. We called it “brown lightning” as a joke. The only door that would open from the outside was the rear passanger door. And the fuel indicator was broken. It was a real crap shoot as to how far I could go without running out of fuel. Sometimes I’d stop at a gas station and after putting seventeen cents in the tank it would overflow. Other times it cost thirty bucks. I kept a milk jug full of diesel in the trunk just in case.
You couldn’t just start the thing up and go either. You had to hold the key in a certain position for what seemed like forever while the “plugs heated up”, whatever the fuck that means.
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I had an AMC Hornet back during the ancient 70s. Can’t remember what year model it was,but I DO remember it was some godawful green color and had a manual transmission on the column. There was some issue with the driver’s side door opening from the inside. I have a great recollection of kicking the door open and then slamming so hard in a fit of car rage that the window shattered. I was one young, broke bitch so I had to drive like that until it finally died. As I recall, I left it where it quit and my Dad sold it for junk. God, I hated that car.
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Oh. And the job I applied for (with 25 years experience) went to a recent Devry grad. Kid probably can’t tell a memory stick from a video card. Why do employers do that? An A+ cert is a fucking joke.
Yes, I’m bitter.
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T. Farty McAppleass Reply:
September 11th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
That fucking kid is a shitcock! I hope he gets zits and DDD breast. May he never feel comfortable taking off his shirt at the beach.
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Chuck…get out your geetar and do some high test shredding. Play some blues and bark at the moon. You still know how to do that…right? The kid went from sucking out septic tanks to kissing asses. Fuck him and them.
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Im a Volkswagen/Audi mechanic by trade, and I thought for sure there would be more than a few VW / Audi on this list. Glad thats not the case. V.A.G. products is all I’ve ever driven, The worst one of those was a 1987 Audi 4000. I dont remember how I got it , maybe part of a trade or maybe a $200 dollar special. The A/C never worked and one by one the windows quit working, It poured every fluid it had. Then the guages quit, I never felt like fixing it, I gave it to a friend who drove it for a few years with all the broke shit on it, I think he threw it away.
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lakrfool Reply:
September 12th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
>V.A.G. products is all I’ve ever driven<
So you're not gay…
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Vicki – my sister had a hornet and my brother owned a GREMLIN!!!! Pieces of tin…
Chuck – the Devry kid was probably just cheaper to which it sometimes just comes down. Hang in there bro’. Take it seriously but not personally. They’ve shown their thought process and decision making skills; you wouldn’t have wanted to work there anyways knowing how lacking they are in those two regards. F’em. Tough news Chuck but regroup and keep goin’.
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The weather was bee-eee-eee-YOOTiful today.. so I finally mowed the lawn… if you know what I mean…
I had the sheep eat the lawn if you know what I mean. I gave it a little trim if you know what I mean. I paid attention to the patch… I gave the mower a push… I did some ‘scapin’ …. I cleaned up around the bush… I made sure everything was nice and tidy if you know what I mean… I gave the growth the once over… I wanted it to look good for when people see it if you know what I mean… I spent a lot of time going back and forth… I made sure to work the area well…I wanted to make sure the back looked as good as the front if your know what I mean… I was really panting hard when i was working on it … at one point I had to take a break if you know what I mean… when it was done, I stood back and admired how it looked… if you know what I mean.
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@hot fuzz – what do you mean?
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My first vehicle was an ’94 Ford Bronco II. If it weren’t my first taste of real freedom, I probably wouldn’t have loved it so much.
After school, I would crank Queensryche or Maiden through my tape deck and try to maintain some kind of cool factor, all the while waiting for all my friends to pull away. This was so that none of them would see me pop the carb and pin the butterfly back with a clothespin, start the ignition and race back to the carb before it set my truck on fire. Take it to someone who knew what the fuck about its inner workings, though, and it would start every time, without so much as a spritz of starting fluid. No A/C and rusted like a sonovabitch, but I found a shade of Krylon spray paint that matched it perfectly, so every few months it was sand and spray time.
I had a ’78 AM General postal Jeep, which cost about $350 and I thought would make a nice backup. Despite having right-hand drive, no air OR heat, “backbreaker” seat belt, a horrifying amount of play in the steering wheel and only one seat, it at least had the decency to start Every. Fucking. Time. Even if it gets about 3 MPG (straight 6 w/ 2-barrel carb) with about 400,000 miles logged, it is still up for farm-related duties to this day.
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