One of the original Surf Report Rules of Thumb states, “You CAN judge a book by its cover.” And I stand by that proclamation. However, it’s just a rule a thumb, meaning it’s only true most of the time — not all the time.
During my ridiculous life I’ve encountered a handful of people I originally misjudged. But it’s rare. I’d say I have no initial opinion about 75% of the population, and only form one when they do something (good or bad) that warrants it. The other 25%? I think I’m pretty good at sizing ’em up with a single glance.
And it only takes me about two minutes to zero-in on “complications” (if any) with the 75%. After a brief 2 or 3 minute conversation, I know.
Unfortunately I’ve never been in a position where I can hire people on my own. I’ve been on small committees that decided as a group about potential new employees, but I’ve never wielded such power by myself. I know I’d be great at it, though. In fact, one of the all-time best.
Here are some automatic disqualifiers:
- Anyone who shows up for an interview in shorts, flip-flops, NASCAR wear, novelty t-shirts (including tour shirts, or anything that hints at a political axe to grind), hats, dress shirts missing a button or apparently pulled from the bottom of a hamper, or fingerless gloves. I call this category the Dipshit Jubilee.
- Anyone who answers the “Why did you leave your previous job?” question with a tale of victimhood, and/or something to do with their “impossible” supervisor.
- Anyone under the age of 25.
- Anyone who starts talking about their medical history, unprovoked.
- Anyone with even the slightest hint of ‘tude. You’re exasperated and/or bored by this process? See ya.
- Anyone who asks about the amount of vacation time they’ll earn, before the job has been offered to them.
- Anyone who doesn’t sit straight up in their chair.
There are others, many others, but I can’t think of them right now. And I admit the one about people under the age of 25 might be a bit unfair (and illegal). But I’m just playing the percentages here… There’s way too much drama and half-assery in that age group. Who needs it?
I’d be open to being convinced in the under-25 category, but the others are absolute.
Wanna help me complete the list of automatic hiring disqualifiers? Please do so in the comments section below. Also, if you disagree with any of my opinions… let’s hear it. You’re wrong, of course, but I’d like to know your point of view.
And I need to call it a day now. I’ll be back tomorrow with more of this quality entertainment.
See ya then!