I know it probably sounds like I’ve gone full-Noss on this thing, but I’m still not feeling great. It’s been a week, and I haven’t been able to get all the way back to normal. I’m well enough to work, of course. But my head feels like it’s packed out with a roll of that Pink Panther insulation, and my ears are all jacked-up. I hate ear trouble; it throws off my whole world. This is bullshit already.
My dad has a lot of ear problems, and passed them on to me. It’s not unusual for me to wake up in the morning with one side sealed-off like a submarine. It’s something I’ve dealt with all my life, and there’s nothing that can be done about it… except ride it out. I used to try to “fix” it, and actually tried various remedies suggested by blowhards. But unless I just leave it alone I’m making it worse. That is an absolute truth, learned the hard way.
It’s a difficult thing to ignore, though. It feels like it can be cleared up with a simple finger-wiggle in the earhole, or a tug on the lobe, or whatever. But it’s deceptive, and if you’re not careful you’ll set yourself back a full day or more. It takes immense willpower to leave it alone, but I’m pretty good with it by now. It took 40 years or more, but I’ve trained myself to resist the false promises of the finger-wiggle.
Lay’s is having another contest where people suggest various new flavors of potato chips. Three will be chosen, I think, and will actually go into production. Then they’ll let people vote, and one will be added to the permanent rotation. If you make it to the final three, you get fitty grand, and the winner gets a million.
My entry: Denver Omelette. I think it’s a good choice, and I’m letting it ride. I’m casting my entire lot with the Denver Omelette.
I posted about this exciting development at Twitter and Facebook: it’s basically my retirement plan. The Lay’s potato chip contest is all I have left at this point. And you know what people said? Not “great idea!” or “you nailed it!” No, they wanted to know “what’s a Denver Omelette?” You see? You see how it goes for me? And you wonder why I’m annoyed all the time.
Believe me, if I know what a goddamn Denver Omelette is, you should too. My knowledge of breakfast foods is not exactly immense. If I’ve successfully absorbed this information, there’s no reason you shouldn’t have, as well. Grrr…
What are some OTHER good ideas for new chip flavors? Please tell us about them in the comments section below.
I’m a grouchy bastard these days, and am not firing on even half my cylinders. I apologize. And I’ll just leave you with these ratings of cheap American beers, and ask for you opinions. What do you think? I agree with The People’s Bracket; I’ve always said PBR is the best cheap beer. It simply is. What are your opinions on this important subject?
Someday I’ll be back to normal, my friends, but today is not that day.
See ya tomorrow!