What Are Your Summer Travel Plans?

Last week, when we went to Cooper’s for obscure international beers, I had two CDs in my car:  The Promise by Bruce Springsteen, and Singles: 45s and Under by Squeeze.  And both have now disappeared.

That kind of thing has the power to make me fully crazy…  I’ve practically removed the seats from my car, lifted the carpet in the trunk, and emptied the glove compartment and console.  And I’ve gone over this house like freakin’ Peter Chicklets in The Shield.  The discs are nowhere to be found.

What the hell, man?  There was a lot of chaos at that time, and I might have come in and sat the CDs down in an unusual place.  But I don’t see how they could’ve been lost outside the house.  I carry them to the car, and back; I’m fairly anal about it.

Enough time has now passed that I’m starting to believe I’ll never see ’em again.  And that cuts me — deep.  I have a feeling they were mixed up in a pile of newspapers, and went out with the recycling.  Bastards!  That Springsteen CD was brand new… I just bought it.

I blame the ungrateful interlopers.  They threw our world into disarray, and I wasn’t able to maintain the various rituals that protect me against such scenarios.  I do things in a certain way, every time.  So I always know where my shit is.  I almost never lose stuff.


Somewhere along the line
I signed up for a service called Twitter Qwitter.  It’s a freebie, and they periodically email me a list of people who have stopped following me at Twitter.  And I think I’m going to dump it, because it always pisses me off.

Today I received an email from them, and there was a friend listed.  An internet friend, anyway…  Why’d he stop following me?  I know I’m not the greatest Twitter practitioner on Earth, but to cut me loose, completely?  I think that’s kinda harsh.

Yeah, I know… A person who lived through the Great Depression and/or World War II might roll their eyes at my “problems.”  But I don’t care, I’m all whipped-up over here.

On a more pleasant note, the owner of Atomic Books in Baltimore has issued a challenge to us old-school zine editors to publish one new issue (at least) of our publications in 2011.  He’s calling it Revenge of Print, and folks are pledging to publish, at the Facebook page.

There are a lot of heavy-hitters on the list already, and I’m considering taking the plunge.  I have a full docket for the year, but I’d like to be a part of it.  I’m probably going to do it.

Here’s an interview my friend Mark did with the founder of this challenge/movement, and he actually mentions the Surf Report.  I’m flattered that my goofy little magazine is remembered by a few folks.  I might have to dig out the old long-arm stapler and return to my Xerox roots.  It could be a lot of fun.

We’re in the midst of planning a summer trip to Myrtle Beach.  Because of cash-flow issues, we haven’t done a damn thing for the past couple of summers, but we’re going to the beach — a Southern touristy beach — this year.  I think we’re going to make the reservations this coming weekend.

I used to be snobby about Myrtle Beach, but now I appreciate its over-the-topness.  It’s just unapologetically tourist-oriented, and every day is a redneck party.  Fireworks are legal, everybody’s drinkin’, and the ocean is right there.  It’s very therapeutic to go down there and unleash my inner-hick for a week or so.

I’m looking forward to it.  It’s no London trip… but we’re taking baby steps here.  Tiny baby steps.

Do you have any trips planned for the summer?  Now that the holidays are over, it’s time to start planning such things.  If you have anything in the works, please tell us about it.

And I’m gonna call it day, my friends.  Thanks for reading!

More tomorrow.

Now playing in the bunker

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  1. Trish says

    I live there half the year, so if I’m in town I’ll buy y’all a beer! Let me know if you need any restaurant reviews.

  2. Valentin says

    I was going to say screw you guys but I decided not to. Heh, I guess I did anyway. ” Fireworks are legal, everybody’s drinkin’, and the ocean is right there.” Sounds like a lot of fun.

  3. says

    Good luck with the zine. Be a good exercise for you.

    I used to go to MB every summer. There is just something about the ocean that lowers my heart rate and makes me smile. Not to mention the scantily-clad lovelies. It wasn’t unusual to find me sitting on the beach at 3 a.m. We would rent a funky pine paneled beachhouse for $200 a week in Cherry Grove section. The houses are mostly gone now and replaced with condos and hotels. Shame. I haven’t been able to go for a couple decades now and I sure miss it.

      • says

        Oh absolutely. One year when we pulled up there was a guy painting some of the trim on the house we rented. He had ladders and buckets of paint and drop cloths in the back of a new Volvo wagon. Turned out to be the owner who had flown in from the Bahamas to do some sprucing up. Very nice man. Rich but you wouldn’t know it.

  4. UpNort says

    I’m not planning a big summer trip but I am leaving for the Philippines at the beginning of February for business. It’s their spring/summer, so it’s basically a summer trip. 95 and humid. Blech.

  5. Lee Harvey Ramone says

    I am taking the fambly on a 10-day car trip to Washington State. We’ll camp out at Rainier NP, go visit some of our friends in Olympia, camp out at the beach at the Olympic NP, and revisit some of our favorite old-growth forest hiking locations there on the peninsula. Should be cheap enough for me to afford, but also fun.

    • johnthebasket says

      You will be most welcome in God’s country. Sounds like your itinerary is just right. Fuck the fish-tossers in Seattle.


      • hot fuzz says

        If I didn’t know the story about the market, fish-tosser would sound like a very derogatory euphemism. :)

  6. says

    I’m sure we’ll go through the whole senario of “are we going on vacation this year, or what” AGAIN this year. My boyfriend tells me to just pick a place and make the reservations. It ain’t that easy, Sparky.

    Last year was full of long weekends. They are usually “annual” getaways. But this year I’d like to dump a few in leiu of a “real” vacation. We spend just as much money anyway. But unfortunately, my boyfriend can’t decide if he wants paper or plastic at the grocery store…so “just pick a place” isn’t that easy with him.

    My first choice? Key West. I. love. that. place.

  7. AngryWhiteGuy says

    Against better judgement, the Child Bride talked me into a trip the last week of the year. Went to the resort town of Dunbar to let my parents see their awesome grandkids for a couple of days and played in the snow. Then went to Boone, NC and stayed at my former boss’s house for three days and played in the snow. Then went to an all paid two day Islands of Adventure/Universal Studios weekend. Stayed on the 15th floor across the street. Mom in law paid for it all. Spent New Years there since it was open until 1:00. THEREFORE: no travel plans this summer.

    I never lose anything. Child Bride, however, loses Christmas presents and ends up giving them to me in April or May. Also loses her car keys a lot. And her fucking mind.

    Go here- http://www.neave.com/strobe/ – stare at the center of the screen thfor 30 seconds then look at your hand. Wish I had a wall like this in my house.

    • Jersey Don says

      I don’t know what’s supposed to happen, but my entire family is now mutilated on the carpet. Am I supposed to see something?

      Usually, around August, my wife finds a present she forgot to give me at Christmas.

      This summer I found a load of wrapped presents as I was cleaning out the basement. I thought she had really jumped the tracks this time. They were actually wrapped early for this year.

      • AngryWhiteGuy says

        I know…right?? Some of my co-workers are dead at my feet and I don’t remember a thing after staring at it.

  8. madz1962 says

    We were SUPPOSED to go to the Bahamas in March but those plans got shit-canned. Beloved is an estate manager and the one and only guy who he would trust this place to just had a major stroke. Which, when you think of it, is a lot worse than me bitching about a vacation. Soo Bahamas maybe in May. I also got Beloved a Tuna fishing trip out of Montaulk in September so I can always expand on that to give us a few days at the beach. Other than that, the only Islands I’m going to see are Staten and Long.

  9. Jersey Don says

    Maybe a recent houseguest made off with the CD’s?

    Short-term travel plans: a photo workshop with National Geographic in New Orleans.

    Long term: none yet.

    • Valentin says

      That’s what I was thinking happened to the cd’s. Don’t want to falsely accuse anyone but the way some of them act as if they are owed something???

      • Valentin says

        Don’t worry about them though Jeff. I’m sure they’ll turn up. I’m always losing shit and then finding it. I like to play hide my wallet when I’m drinking but sober me doesn’t enjoy it too much.

      • Melissa says

        Well a certain recent house-guest has also stolen Jeff’s underpants in the past, so why would stealing CDs be so far-fetched?
        But Valentin is right….they all act like they are owed something. Perhaps Sunshine was walking out of your house pissed that she didn’t have wine glasses or a lamp shade in her possession, saw what was on your passenger seat & said “I ain’t leavin’ here empty handed, I tell ya!”

    • Seanette says

      That was my guess, considering some of the dubious types who’ve been running around the place howling about being shorted and not treated lavishly enough.

  10. WB in OH says

    Nothing planned, which isn’t suprising, I never make plans and then bitch in August when they take my vacation days away. I should probably plan something, I have three weeks to burn up this year, any ideas?

  11. sunshine_in_va says

    Nah – I don’t think we’re going anywhere special. I’d love to go back to the Canadian Rockies, or even take the kids to Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon. I think it’s going to have to wait, though.

    Fucking Nostrildamus took your CD’s man – don’t you know?

  12. squawvalleyskip says

    Santa Barbara for sure, to fly the paragliders. Wife said she’d like to go check out Torrey Pines but we’ll see. My mom is supposed to come visit for a week in the spring, maybe my brother and sister in law later in the summer. Have to see what happens. But for sure we have to get some flying in.

    • Uncle_Wedgie says

      Let me know when you get here and we can hoist a Firestone Double Pale Ale in Jeff’s honor. Unless I am still at Mammoth since they got the 18 feet of snow.

      • squawvalleyskip says

        Unc, Thanks for the invite. Due to a long, colorful history of anti-social behavior I had to give up the consumption some 20+ years back. But maybe Brummi’s on State for schnitzel or krustenbrauten. They do have some dark German beer on tap for you guys that go that route, but since I must avoid it I have no idea exactly what it is. On Saturday nights when the crowd gets enough of that, Veronika cranks up the music and gets everyone to sing in German. Like Octoberfest in May, or whatever.

  13. TILLY says

    vacation?? I wish. every year I start thinking about all the places I would like to go but I can never swing it. I travel for work some but that doesn’t count. Perhaps the vacation fund would be more amply supplied if the ex actually got a job and paid his child support. Grrrr!

    I would give 2010 a solid C- the first 10 months sucked but the last 2 were markedly improved.

    • debra says

      We are thinking about going down to that area at the end of this month. They have the whole area lit up for the holidays and they leave it up for like 5 months. We stay outside of town. Usually in Townsend or a cabin in the hills. It is so lovely there.

  14. Rob says

    Is that David Bowie pissing into a toaster? It sure looks like it.

    No summer plans yet, but a beach chair and many cocktails sounds perfect

    • madz1962 says

      Until you mentioned David Bowie, I didn’t even look at the Bunker Cam. But yeah, that would be my guess, Ziggy Stardust peeing in a Sunbeam!

      • Lee Harvey Ramone says

        That’s the Thin White Duke. Ziggy Stardust would never pee into a toaster. Nor would Alladin Sane.

    • debra says

      It does look like David ! Maybe a little bit of Christopher Walken thrown in the mix….ha

  15. says

    That zine revival is a good chance to make a plug for your book(s) in the form of a story so as not to be too blatent about it.

    You don’t have enough turmoil in your house, with the quiet holiday and all 😉 call up Sunburn (my new name for “her”) and infer she should return your two cd’s to you. That oughta get a long lasting reaction that keeps on giving out of her.

    • sunshine_in_va says

      I still think “Nossy” took them. He probably read “Singles” on the cover of the one CD and figured it was a compilation of “Carl Rappaport”‘s batting record.

  16. Melissa says

    I would love to go on vacation, but alas, the new house renovations are sucking me dry (but thanks Mom & Dad for the Home Depot gift cards!) so although every year for my birthday in June my boyfriend has taken me to San Francisco for several days for wine tasting & great food, we’re broke as a joke now & just can’t swing it. This will be the second year we have missed going & I’m getting pissed about it.
    Then again, if I took anytime off this summer I’d more than likely want to just stay home, wearing PJs the whole time playing video games. That would also make me happy.

    • madz1962 says

      I would rather be in my own home and missing out on vacation! Your own bricks and mortar! Nice security!

  17. Good2go says

    In early December I bought windshield wipers at Costco, and cannot find the receipt. I must have paid cash because it never showed up on any statement. It is driving me crazy!. Have torn the truck apart, looked in all my pockets, checked the big-stack-o-receipts on the dresser several times, no luck.

  18. Seanette says

    My husband dislikes traveling, so assuming he doesn’t wind up burning all his vacation time for crises (automotive, dental, other), we’ll probably just hang out at home like we did in 2010. That’s not so bad, really, since we’re the homebody type.

  19. hardoxdan says

    We go to the Redneck Riviera every year for a week with my wife’s kin from Moundsville, WV. They are a blast, although their average weight is 300, makes me feel like a swimsuit model.

    We always visit Captain George’s Seafood Gorgatorium at least once and eat our weight in crab legs and shrimp. And I always find a way to get loaded at the Dueling Pianos bar at Broadway.

  20. debra says

    We go to the upper/lower west coast of Michigan (Ludington) every August. It’s not too far, and Lake Michigan is as blue as the Caribbean. I can’t tell you how relaxing it is to stay in a nice cottage on Lake Hamlin with your own pontoon for the week. My DH can fish to his heart’s content, I find very reasonable prices too! I take my little dogs, and we have a great time. Going on day trips to Traverse City, The Wineries, Charlevoix, Mackinaw. Picking big luscious blueberries. Going to the Sleeping Bear dunes, and riding the Mac Dune ride at Silver Lake! There is so much to do and the air is so fresh and clean, and the Lake is unbelievable!

  21. debra says

    My husband is looking into flying into Colorado this Summer. If you have never been to Colorado…you must go!

  22. Casey J says

    We travel to St Joseph Michigan and stay on a house right on the lake. Great place!! Good luck going anywhere, I hope I don’t end up in a place where birds are dropping dead. Cause wtf is that about??

  23. SuperSpeller says

    You MUST do another zine!!! It’s been more than 15 years since I received my first issue of the WVSR in the mail, and I still laugh thinking about some of the jokes in there.

  24. says

    Going to Disney in March for a week with the boyfriend! 😀 Those of you who’ve read this on my blog already know…It’s not quite summer, but we did that on purpose. We figured going in summer would be rediculously overloaded with tourists and what not, so March would be better. Ahhh I can’t wait. I never got to go as a kid so as soon as my boyfriend asked me where I wanted to go on vacation, of course I said Disney. I’m living my childhood dream at 25…I mostly can’t wait to go the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I just might not come home because I will probably try to move in there.

    • hot fuzz says

      You probably know this already but just in case and so you’re not disappointed…Harry Potter World is at Universal not Disney. It’s just that you talked about Disney all of your post and then switched at the last second… I’d hate to see you spend all day looking for Harry hiding behind Cinderelly’s Castle or something… Have a great trip – it’s a great place to have a lot of fun…and eat and eat.

      • says

        Oh yes, I know. We are going to spend time at both! Thanks for the heads up tho;) I also am going to take pictures with every character there, including Donald Duck, who supposedly groped a woman. I actually laughed out loud at the news report…Even if it’s true, I still find it amusing for some reason.

  25. says

    Jeff, look up Carolina Resorts Realty – The Tides Unit D1. It is RIGHT on the beach. A beautiful, clean condo in North Myrtle (North is more family friendly, not frat house friendly). We’ve stayed there twice and loved it. There is no pool, so if that’s a must for you, count it out. :-)

  26. chill says

    Zines! I’d almost forgotten! Atomic Books looks like an interesting place. I could see a Saturday pilgrimage to Baltimore: Stop by Binkert’s for some weisswurst and kassler, browse Atomic in the afternoon and finish up with dinner and some beers at Brewers Art. Best done while the weather’s still cold, so the meat doesn’t go bad.

    Summer plans? I have an obligatory family reunion, cleverly scheduled for 4th of July weekend. From here it’s an 8-hour drive each way if there’s no traffic. But being I-95 in the summer, there *will* be traffic.

  27. BoMama says

    I have a 12 year old girl, so we are taking a road trip to Forks, Washington. Of twilight fame, for those out of the pre-teen loop.

    • Gretchen says

      At that age I would have shat myself if we had gone to Watership Down….but I’m dorky that way.

      • johnthebasket says

        Maybe Forks has improved some since I last drove through there, but it is fairly famous hereabouts as the place where the loggers come into town to fight with the bikers. Of course, the loggers and bikers are both out of work now, so they might be more pissed off than usual.

        In Forks, you are on the edge of the only temperate climate rainforest in the world — arguably the most beautiful place on the planet. The rainforest is mostly inside Olympic National Park and National Forest. There are nice places to stay including fancy condos, funky cabins, and secluded campgrounds.

        Perhaps not as nice as the rotting taverns in Forks, but attractive nonetheless. Worth considering.


        • Bomama says

          Thanks for the tip, JTB.
          The entire point of going to Forks is to have her picture taken in front of all the landmarks from the books. Bella’s house, Forks High School, etc. I will look into spending the night in the national park. I mean really, how long is it going to take to get 1000 pictures?

  28. BoMama says

    That is kinda why we are doing this. She still likes us, so we are taking advantage of all the time we have before we ( her parents) become totally stupid and lame.

  29. Lori in Cbus says

    I am going back home to Washington state with my little bro and his girlfriend..

    gonna land at sea-tac on 7/31 and do the whole tourist thing till 8/7.. probably head up from seattle to whidbey island and down through forks to ruby beach to visit Ol dad (his final resting place), go to ocean shores and visit a cousin in montesano.. i might visit my bitch of a mother in aberdeen (been 20 yrs) then astoria and back to seattle.. phew jtb, if you are anywhere near that ring of fire i mentioned, let me know.. maybe if my brother isnt grumpy, we can have a beer

    Sounds like Washington is the place to go for vacation haha

    some damn day i’m moving back…someday..

    • johnthebasket says

      Hey, Lori, you’re the big sister. If bro is grumpy tell him to lighten up and stop for a damn beer. If my schedule works, it would be an honor to buy your traveling party a brew or two. Not so much in Forks, but at Ocean Shores or on your way through Tacoma.

      Sorry your mom isn’t pleasant. That makes life more difficult all around.

      I’ll know more about my summer plans by mid-spring. We can coordinate schedules.

      I’ll set aside a little Xanax for the bro. We’ll mellow him right out.


  30. Lori in Cbus says

    btw, jeff, heading to amazon to help you replace the CD’s.. don’t trust the in laws

  31. says

    Did you look on top of your refrdgerator? I put stuff up there all the time and usually don’t find it for a week.

    Travel plans?…I’ve been thinking about buying a Greyhound Ameirapass and ride around in a bus for a month. I’ve always wanted to do that. What a friggin’ hoot that would be. Honset. It’s just me so what the heck? They might frown on my leaving my new ‘position’ for a month but I’d really like to pull that off. Maybe next year?

    • says

      **…I’d get a room now then to shower, sleep and regroup. I don’t want anyone to think I’d be that creepy.

  32. JWhiskey says

    Not really a summer trip, but as long as my leave gets approved headed to Lake Tahoe in 3 weeks to do some skiing!

  33. Big Bear in OH says

    If you’re looking for a true representation of all the delights Myrtle Beach has to offer, I’d highly suggest you download a song called “Myrtle Beach” by Sunny Ledfurd. He is the ultimate white trash southerner, and makes a very convincing case for Myrtle Beach to be named the ultimate vacation destination. It’s pretty hilarious.

    My summer plans include taking more courses at community college, and dodging whatever else life throws at me to live a life of leisure while I’m playing “stupid college student”. So I’ll probably just get a job mowing lawns again.

  34. Terri says

    We are going to Hawaii next week. Hubby has a friend there and has wanted to go for ten years. I finally said ok. Starting to pack now!

  35. debra says

    If you live in or near Ohio, there is a great place to go for a getaway! It is a cabin in the woods outside of Hocking Hills and Old Man’s Cave. We sit on the back secluded porch in a hot tub while the snow is gently falling. They have an annual winter hike there this month. We have gone to that before, it was great! It is a really beautiful area. http://www.watersongwoods.com/content/tour.htm