Webcams and Obnoxious Tourists We Have Known
So, I’m sitting here watching the Abbey Road cam, which serves up live streaming video from the British crosswalk made famous by the Beatles. And I see one group of tourists after another going across that thing, and really douching up the joint.
It reminds me of a woman in New York City a few years ago, who I saw shove through a bunch of gawking out o’ towners, and shout, “Why don’t you people go back to Wisconsin already?!” Heh.
Can you imagine being a driver in London, late for some appointment, and coming upon that intersection of dipshittery? My blood pressure is rising, just thinking about it. I’d never actually do it, of course, but I’d be mighty tempted to mash the accelerator and let the chips fall where they may.
No, I don’t really want to see anyone get run over by a car. But as I sit here watching this spectacle on my computer, I would like to see a gang of tourists from Ohio, or wherever, scattered in every direction by a careening black cab. I can imagine their fannypacks and love handles bouncing as a result of the rare exertion, and this vision makes me happy.
There’s nothing wrong with being a tourist, of course, but maintain a little dignity. Is that too much to ask? That Abbey Road crossing is almost as bad as this crap. Sweet sainted mother of Shitbox Wally…
But the Beatles cam is pretty damn good, isn’t it? I remember in the early days of the internet they looked like surveillance video at a convenience store. And some would only refresh every minute or so. I’ve always found them fascinating, though.
There was a bar in Poland that I used to check out occasionally, and I thought it was the coolest thing in the world to see guys sitting in there downing beers, from my chair in Scranton. I wish I still had that link… I wonder if the cam is still up and running? I wanted to go there someday, and now I can’t even remember the name of the city. Oh well.
One of my all-time favorite cams is no longer in operation: the Happy Wash laundromat in France. Man, that was a good one. When I worked my previous job I’d sometimes leave the video feed open for an hour at a time. It was oddly fascinating to watch unsuspecting French people fold bras.
Do you have any favorite webcams? If so, please share the link with us. And if it’s disappeared, why not describe it?
Let’s also start a wish list for webcams… Where would you like to see one? An interrogation room of a big city police department? The Oval Office? The Kremlin? The rectal ointment aisle of a Rite-Aid store?
Help me out with that one, won’t you? And let’s not worry about laws or any of that pesky crap. Just let yer imagination run wild.
And finally, where have you encountered the most obnoxious tourists? I remember a gang of incredibly rude and pushy French people at the Tower of London. They were so bad Toney was attempting to body-check a few of them into a stone wall. Hilarious.
So, if you have anything on that, please use the comments section below.
And I’m going to call it a day here. I probably won’t update again until Sunday, but you never can tell. I plan to put in about thirty hours of work on my book, over the next three days. But if it all goes down the ol’ poop-catcher for some reason, I might return for a short whine.
If any of you’d like to buy me a beer or three for Saturday night, here’s your link. I’d really appreciate it… It’s been a bad summer, my friends, and Saturday nights are usually a rare exception.
See you next time!
Filed under: Daily
WOW
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Well I tried to be first but my computer froze up for a while there…
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I saw a Japanese dude smiling ear to ear ath the USS Arizona Memorial, it took all I had not to dronw his ass.
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I recently saw a NJ family get real upset that they could not take a tour of a lighthouse in Maine. They started acting like gangsters and cussing everyone.
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I have never been to Europe but I have sworn that if I do go, I will NOT be one of the douchebags you mentioned. In fact, I have often said I would stay away from all of the large cities & would much rather mingle with the real ‘locals’ by staying in small villages and towns. Who needs to see someone from Milwaukee throwing pennies off the Eiffel Tower when I could be roaming the streets of some small town where there is one pub, a baker & a butcher? Bedtime is 8 & you rise at dawn. That sounds great to me!
I did not get to witness this event, but my aunt & uncle recently came to visit my parents & I from Texas. We live in So. Cal. Their first request was to go to ‘Hollyweird’ & ‘Muscle Beach’. My parents were the lucky ones to drive them to those locations (I don’t get the Muscle Beach one, either) & they told me that for the next 9 hours my family from the south proceeded to run up to homeless people (thinking they were props, because who in Hollywood is homeless?) asking what movies they had been in & finding the large men @ Muscle Beach & posing with them by dangling from their flexing arms. Nice. My dad said he wanted to throw himself into oncoming traffic on more than one occasion when my southern Uncle would scream out ‘We’s in Rich-Land now! Woo-hoo!!’
I’m so glad I recently purchased a home. I was able to hide away in the luxuries of my own abode whilst my parents had to entertain the masses with adventures across Schwarzeneggerville all while pretending not to really know them.
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I remember my dad also saying that when he went to LAX to pick up said family from Texas he was mortified when they were all waiting for their luggage & my aunt was insisting they had one more bag to come through the line. They waited forever & finally, one of the last bags to come through was just that. An actual ‘bag’ from Wal-Mart, curled up and tied with string & when my aunt saw it she yelled out, ‘There’s my bag!’ and ran over to claim it. People standing next to them were chuckling & my dad said he just tried to walk quickly ahead of her so the connection couldn’t be made.
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Top Ten! ???
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My web cam was censored!
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Just saw a cop car blare their siren at a group of asshole tourists on the Abbey Road webcam. There is no shortage of douchebags there today…
“Sweet sainted mother of Shitbox Wally” — another WVSR keeper!
I’d like to see a webcam inside some of my favorite dive bars so that I could know in advance whether or not it was filled with shitbag hipsters on any particular night. I could save a lot of time that way…
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The French! They are incredibly obnoxious as tourists (and otherwise). I think there was even a worldwide study done in the last few years that ranked irritating tourists and the French came out on top.
I’ve been to the Leaning Tower, and I hate to say it, but I posed for and took many of those pictures. Same thing at Disney World, posing with the Sorcerer’s Apprentice hat on our heads. Come on, some times you have to just go for it… you may never get back there again and some of us get swept away in the novelty of the moment. Sort of like if you see a group of people looking up at the sky; you just have to look, too, right?
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There’s a webcam at the entrance to the Nurburgring, so it’s cool to check occasionally for any random cool cars:
http://www.nuerburgring.de/fileadmin/webcam/webcam.jpg
Not much going on right now though, since they’re 6 hours ahead of Eastern time zone.
I would definitely love it if my neighborhood bar had a webcam… I’d probably leave it up and running in my web browser throughout the work day.
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Melissa: I once used a Carling Black Label box as my luggage for a trip to Columbus, OH to see the New Bomb Turks play…I would guess that my traveling companion was similarly embarrassed.
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Jeff, I too am amazed at the quality of the picture from the Abbey Road web cam.
I used to watch a Florida beach cam when the weather turned a bit nipply. Every once in a while I’ll flip on one from Times Square or a hummingbird nest cam in California. The sound is great as well so when I make it full screen (on the desktop while I use the laptop) it’s like having the hummingbird right outside the window complete with the wing beats…or a bunch of honking horns and shouts if I get lonely.
I remember being in London and a tourist was quite indignant when the vendor quoted pounds sterling rather than American dollars and then asked for the correct amount rather than a 1:1 conversion.
I’ve been watching the Abbey Road thing for a while and it’s driving me nuts. Have your fun, take your picture but good lord don’t go back and forth 20 or 30 times. And don’t stand at the side of the road by the pole with the yellow light if you’re not going to cross. So many cars have stopped only to be waved on. ARRGGGHHH ..am I bad for wishing for a pedestrian vs motor vehicle throw down?
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I can barely digest the stream of action from the bunker cam. That’s about all the future I can handle.
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My brother and his girlfriend once showed up at my place with their belongings in a Valvoline oil case.
Having lived and worked in NYC for over 20 years, I’ve seen my share of tourists with head-up-ass disease. Yoy can always spot the out-of-towners: they stop in the middle of the sidewalk to gawk.
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Jeff…you just made my day.
Most obnoxious tourist: Non-English speaking indians in Chicago. They always act like you owe them something.
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Obnoxious tourist? Me on my second two week stay in Hawaii. “H” street has never been the same since.
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Oh, and gangster tourist rolling up 9 people deep in a crown vic at six flags…I actually witnessed this…2 of the men were dressed like woman, complete with skinny jeans, pink tube tops and glittery gold flats. And they looked at US weird, because we were grilling in the parking lot.
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Oh, and I would be one of those obnoxious tourist visiting Abbey Road, I’ve been wanting to walk across that since before I hit puberty. True story.
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“I’d like to see a webcam inside some of my favorite dive bars so that I could know in advance whether or not it was filled with shitbag hipsters on any particular night. I could save a lot of time that way…”
Rat Bastard – you are a genius.
I got stuck a while ago watching a web cam inside of a bear den, waiting for a hibernating bear to give birth. Yeah, I was mesmerized by a goddamn sleeping bear.
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The worst tourists I ever saw were a bunch of Asian people visiting the Pearl Harbor Memorial, and making so much noise and cackling/laughing – they were very disrespectful. All the Americans were so hushed and sad, and these people were throwing a party in the tour boat going over to the memorial.
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http://www.avalonpier.com/
reminds me of living there….
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Hey guys! I just got back from a weekend trip to the Promised Land (aka St. Marys, wv). Had a great time!
Best webcam for me was in Alaska, and was panned onto the visitor’s center, which is right next to a popular bar that my former co-worker frequents. I work at a 24/7 type place, where only one person is on shift at a time. This co-worker was basically Otis Cambell (from the Andy Griffith Show) but with a job that human lives were balanced on.
Even drunk, he did a superb job…the problem was with him showing up to work. Unfortunately, he always relieved me from my shift, and was chronicly late when he came in on the graveyard shift. At 10 minutes after midnight and the guy wasn’t in the office, I would first try to call his apartment, and if he didn’t answer, I would log on to the town webcam, and more often than not, see his truck parked in front of the bar. Then I’d drive downtown, drag him outta the bar, and prop him up in the office.
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August. Washington DC. 30 sweaty, pushy, loud Russian tourists on a bus. Bleah.
Or, the Japanese family that posed their young daughter on the rim of the Grand Canyon to take her picture. The REAL rim, the one that’s beyond the FENCE that I can only assume was put there to be sure you stayed away from the rim. And then they told her to step back so Daddy could get a better photo (is my interpretation). My Mom and I were just about to throttle them and adopt the kid when a ranger showed up and set them straight. Still get the shivers thinking about how close she was to going over, and it’s been 15 years.
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In SF, I lived with some other metalheads in a top story flat on Haight Street between Ashbury & Masonic, & we used to go on the roof to drink beer & smoke weed all the time.
It became a favorite pastime of ours to cruise over cruise over to the corner of the adjacent roof, & harass the tie-dyed, Birkenstocked, pasty tourists attempting to recreate this photo of the Grateful Dead:
http://www.jungle.net/deadhead/theband/band1.gif
We would rain down filthy insults, bottle caps, cigarette butts & whatever else we could find onto “Jerry’s Kids” to ruin their groovy little moment. We would occasionally unzip our pants & give them “the bullfrog.” It got way out of hand one day, when in broad daylight, my pal Chumpy attempted to urinate for distance across Ashbury in front of about 50-60 onlookers. About 20 minutes later, Five-O gave us a half-assed reprimand from street level, all as we passed a big fat bowl between the 4 of us…SFPD were the most laid back officers I have ever encountered.
But the yuppie idiots in their freshly minted tie-dyes deserved it though, on the bounds of their blatant douchecloddery. I didn’t mind tourists so much, but I went to SMU with so many trust-fund hippies that had dancing bears across the back windows of their BMWs, & their ilk really pushed my buttons.
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Fora while early this summer, I watched a web cam of an owl and her little babies. At night, the poppa would bring in mice, bunnies, etc. and then the mom, and eventually the chicks, would rip them to shreds. Actually, she could eat half a small bunny in one gulp. Lots of screeching and weird clucking going on. The poppa would fly in, drop the kill, climb on the mom’s back and do something – not sure what – then fly out again. She always looked a little like, ok – let’s get this over so I can eat.
I stopped watching when a still-live bunny was brought in and could hear it scream. God awful.
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OK – someone tell me what is wrong with the girl’s legs who is right outside Abbey Road Studies on the Google street view! It’s killing me!
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUS260&q=abbey%20road&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl
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Dang it. link didn’t work.
Nevermind.
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I would have loved to have that owl cam at work… turn up the volume just so… turn off the monitor and walk away. Hehe
For whatever odd reason I always liked checking out what was happening on the Snoqualime Pass camera. Probably best at the beging of winter when they get hit with some major blizzards and I can say “at least that shit ain’t here yet”.
http://www.wsdot.wa.gov/traffic/passes/snoqualmie/
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This one always has potential:
http://www.earthcam.com/usa/louisiana/neworleans/bourbonstreet/
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I’ve watched the bourbon street cam on occasion. fun stuff sometimes.
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i saw my best friend bryan on the bourbon st. cam many moons ago.
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Shitbox Wally, why Wally, why not Jim or Bill or Sue..anything but Wally. Not mention you picked on Ohio, jeez louise! 0 for 2 fatman. With that I,m off to see if I can buy you a beer or three from the droid.
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Alice said “The poppa would fly in, drop the kill, climb on the mom’s back and do something – not sure what – then fly out again.”
He was obviously gettin’ a little tail.
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CAdude, I think that may have been implied.
My peeve about tourists, is those who travel and complain – Was at the Vancouver firework competition and some snotball (Texas accent) kid complained the entire time. ‘You call these fireworks?’ – Loser. Her brother played with a whoopy cushion the whole time, they were all about 900 lbs – stay f’n home – noone else cares what you think.
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Completely off topic…but I’m having to fight with Comcast again today because our 3rd box is shitting out on us in 4 months. I have had it with Comcast. Anyone else use AT&T or anything? How does that work for you?
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I also dislike tourists with a potato in their pants (see bunkercam)
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The kind of douchebag touorist I can’t stand is probably the exact opposite of what you’re talking about. I’ve visited europe several times, and yes, the jetlag is killer. But what I hate is the guy who sleeps until noon every day. Why in hell would you spend your entire vacation in a hotel room? Drag your worthless ass outta bed and enjoy the country you came to see! There are bars and hotels back in the USA.
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RE: further evidence – are you kidding me? Have they not heard of suspenders? And I want to see that bimbo ride her bike like that for more than 2 seconds.
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I think all you surf reporters should check out the What’sUpMyAssCam. Instant access to what’s making my panties get twisted in a wad.
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i was in germany at oktober fest. i was at an outside restaurant having a huge beer. a family from texas was sitting a few tables away and i could hear his booming, heavily texas accented voice reverberate….”don’t y’all have any ‘merican cheese here? this ain’t a real hamburger unless ya got ‘merican cheese on it…” “goddam frogs!” … particularly sad because “frog” is a slang for frenchmen, not germans….
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oh…another one… i once peed on the eiffel tower and the berlin wall.. my small claim to fame…
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Dnh, man
What bike?
I agree with your comments on those who like to ‘travel’ and do nothing.Visiting pubs though is a good way to meet locals (and sometimes freaks).
I question the term tourist, I have a vacation property in a place I’ve never lived, does that make me a tourist? Just asking…..
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Please disregard my obnoxious posts. Apparently I am quite surly before my 4th cup of coffee.
And Jeff, I don’t know what you did but the WVSR is loading way faster for me now!
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Not Oprah – for me the further evidence link is an ad for air drying your jeans, and it shows a girl riding a bike with her arm stuck straight out dangling her jeans. I appreciate the idea, but my first thought was there is no way in hell she can keep that pose more than a few seconds.
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I’d like to see a webcam inside the Dunbar Bowling Alley. I wonder who’s there now eating a hot bologna sandwich.
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Kristin — thanks!
Dave — the New Orleans streetcam is a favorite of mine. Maybe you guys will see me on it next month…it is time for a vacation.
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I have to admit I have never watched a webcam! Wouldn’t even know where to find one other than the ones I have been reading about here. Jeez…I feel so out of touch.
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I know this belongs in the post before but how about “Everbody and their mother……..”
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This is the tower cam overlooking the tiny town that I live in here in Oklahoma.
http://www.cimtel.net/WEB%20CAM.html
I use it for checking the weather in town when I’m at work, cause the little people are in school there, while I am 50 miles away.
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And I thought Ohio was flat.
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Chuck,
I assume that’s sarcasm? North of cincy it get’s pretty flat, but that southern end….shoo boy!
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OMG, I LOVE the bunker cam pic! Freddy Mercury and black Michael?!? AWESOME.
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Further evidence = Idiotic. “The bright red straps are a conversation starter”…more like people talking about how stupid they are.
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Yeh, OH is a little hilly around here but head to the interior and its tortilla flat. With apologies to J. Steinbeck.
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you ain’t kidding. My original car exploded somewhere near exit 84 on I-71 back in ’95. I believe the torque converter went out (You can read about it here in Savage Factory http://www.amazon.com/Savage-Factory-Eyewitness-Industrys-Self-Destruction/dp/1438952945/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1281037253&sr=8-1), but I digress.
Anyway, when I went to get the crap out of the car it was in London, OH. The directions were something like go down main street, turn left at the train tracks, go up the hill and you’re there. I found it, but I have yet to see this “hill”. I’ve seen steeper grades inside of a carwash.
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A web cam on my dogs head would be pretty nice. That way i might be able to see what the hell it is he’s staring at.
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Rat Bastard, You got a wvsr t shirt? Between all the readership here somebody oughta be able to get a screen cap of the smokin’ fish.
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Brittney- i had it with comcast too and switched to dish network. i have been totally pleased. had to go a different direction for internet but that depends on your area and it is a lot cheaper.
Bikerchick- me too. no freaking idea. i feel really out of touch sometimes too. i don’t know how to do much on the internet but shop and read this.
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Get off the Texans, you motherfuckers. As if nobody from where you’re at can be obnoxious or idiotic.
I’d like to see a cam in the New York subways. Not just the stations, but also the trains themselves. I’d also like to see some cams in Area 51. And maybe one or two on the moon or mars.
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Speaking of Texas.
I’ll be in Dallas as an obnoxious tourist and for some damn fine rock and roll this Saturday if anyone from the Republic wants to grab a drink.
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Here’s a webcam of where they have me under an assumed name. It updates every 15 minutes but still is nice for me to visit when I get homesick when traveling.
http://www.barrie.ca/Content2.cfm?C=4150&SC=1&SCM=0&MI=1226&L1M=38
Ice66 – I can’t remember who said it but one of the folks here said “my dog just can’t call it a day until he’s sniffed the cat’s ass 3 or 4 times”… if they put the camera on my (male) dog’s head I’m sure I’d get a close up of his sister’s ass a good percentage of the time.
I heard a story back in the early nineties, when the interwebs was young, about some wire-heads in the company hooking up a web cam pointed at the coffee machine so they could see if there was coffee or not before going ALL the way over to the servery. At the time that just seemed like the cleverest most awesomely cool thing ever. The next job I had after that I was leading projects where we introduced Scada controls that could have told the PH, the temp, the last cycle run, the volume remaining… uploaded it to a database for later reporting and providing real time on line stats and alerts… granted it wasn’t coffee but rather aluminum wheel manufacturing but it was neat to do more stuff than what I thought was so cool a few years earlier…
sigh…
challenge in life, where did you go?
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Caliente Pelusa
At Sparkfun in Colorado they have a kegerator that tweets when used.
http://www.sparkfun.com/commerce/tutorial_info.php?tutorials_id=144
One day if I get off my ass I want to do shit like this.
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bikerchick and Tilly
Here’s a website with a good variety of web cams from around the globe if you want to experience a few.
http://www.earthcam.com/
There are others of course but this one is pretty clean looking. It’s my way of saying thanks to Tilly for the laughs about the bag of monkey hair story and to bc for promising to wear red FMPs
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t-storm I like to tinker and agree – lots of good ideas except the idea that says I need to get off my ass and actually do it…
I enjoy
http://www.instructables.com/
and this guy, I thought, was cool too
http://grathio.com/2010/06/how-to-edge-lighting-displays.html
I think I creeped out Erin a week or so ago when I said she was pretty – she had posted some pictures of her creating a sign she was going to hold up in tribute. I don’t think anyone has seen her here since. I’m innocent I tell you, innocent.
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Jason, Nothing against Texan’s just identifying how I knew they were tourists. Many, many stupid people live hear.
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Favorite web cam? It’s not invented yet to my knowledge. I want to see one inside a hoarder’s house. So I don’t have to wait for the specials to see how they live, and make me feel clean by comparison.
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t-storm,
My dad was born and raised in Texas (San Antonio), so I know a bit of Texas history. I couldn’t believe what happened about 10 years ago when I was living in Louisiana. I was with a group of friends who were all from Texas, and they could not tell me the 6 republics. They also did not know the capitol of the Republic of Texas. What the hell happened to the educational system in Texas? I was taught those important Texas facts my whole life, and I grew up in WV!
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Again, I’m not paying attention. My last post was aimed at Jason, not t-storm. Where the hell is my 3rd cup of coffee?
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Dave’s not here, man – What happen to Texas education? “No child left behind” and you know who we can blame that one on. Bygawd, he’s a Texan too! But don’t worry, my dad was born and raised in Brenham which is why I take after my mom who was born in Greensboro NC. Oh and BTW, the whole friggin country is a republic or do you not remember the pledge of allegiance. Damn Texicans!!! LMAO
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i thought a texan was just a mexican on his way to oklahoma.
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Hot Fuzz- thanks. As usual i am blocked from that particular website because of the IT Nazi’s where i work. I will check it out though. thanks!
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Alright any Reporters got any big weekend plans?
I’m doing some upgrades to my little fishing boat on Sat. And hope to try them out Sunday on Shenango Reservoir. The weather in W.Pa. is supposed to be
what we waited all winter for this weekend.
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My new favorite word – dipshittery.
There used to be a webcam in the den of a hibernating bear giving birth. It was crazy interesting.
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Weekend plans.
Tonight, blowing off work early then drinking
tomorrow flying to dallas then bar hopping then seeing slobberbone at the granada theater then drinking
sunday drinking and possibly flying back to okc but might stay in dallas to watch the hall of fame game.
monday which is my sunday drinking and or flying back to okc.
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t-storm…your liver is going to start looking like a gherkin my friend. But in the meantime…I’d like a webcam that follows t-storm around
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My nomination for the WVSR Quote of the Day: “Many, many stupid people live hear.”
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irony is a bitch
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I wish the morans that live hear would go someplace else!
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their their, be nice
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hay be neice, its’ not they’re fault there morans
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Big weekend plans……. Seeing my mother to whom i have not spoken in about 9 months. i will be drinking a lot of vodka in preperation. Holy buckets!
the fiance and children are at the water park today but i was stuck workin. suckfest.
still cracks me up to say fiance. that is so overly optimistic.
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Dave’s not here, man – You know some Moran’s? There is a couple that live down the block from me. I wonder if they are related?
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t-storm’s weekend sounds wonderful! Can I tag along??
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come along mark. it’s way more fun to make fun of people with others along.
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All I need is a spare 700 pounds for the air fare and I’m in. I have 5 pounds and 50 pence so far. Bugger it !!
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meet you in newfoundland
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Alright, mark0510 can be my first subscriber to my t-storm cam. Subscriptions are 5 quid 50 per month.
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woo-hoo! Just like being in ‘Merica but cheaper!
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Slight change of plans. Slobberbone in Dallas tomorrow 500 miles to memphis in Dallas tomorrow and Sunday hall of fame game sunday. 500 miles to Memphis monday and tuesday in oklahoma city
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Wow!!!…I’m late to the party.
Valentine… “Everbody and their mother……..” That kinda sounds like a webcam you were hinting at…just sayin’.
Morans dominate the landscape and now there’s an intrepid sot planning on sneaking into Canada, making it all the way to Newfie Land with a small camera strapped to his head, to meet up with a broke European, on another man date. And all the while…a man of qustionable idenity, plans on charging fee to watch.
Same ol shit I guess…
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Swami – Thanks for the vote ‘here’.
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t-storm either has a shit load of frequent flier miles or is independently wealthy.
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Chuck in Belpre…I think he’s an airline pilot.
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We are on our annual trip to Ludington Michigan. Don’t tell anyone but it is one of the most beautiful places to stay. We take day trips up the West coast of Lake Michigan to Traverse City and Charlevoix. The air is so fresh. Lake Michigan is so clean and awesome it is better than the ocean! There are scads of wineries and all the fresh blueberries, corn etc you could want. They call the tourists up here “Fudgies” because obviously tourists love fudge ha ha
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D’oh!!!
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This wknd, bbq tonight, then river floating tomorrow, then firepit & bbq. Sunday, going biking & working.
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STFU. I’m not such a blubbering vagina that I can’t take a joke now and then. Joke on – as long as they’re funny. I’m not a crybaby. Make fun of Texans as much as you’d like. Tell you what though, don’t be shocked when you get an ass-whoopen. Down the road. Might not make sense, but we’ll be there. Remember the Alamao, fuckheads! I’ve got a dead coon on my head. I’m not looking for pussy at all (a sure sign of insanity). So push me. Just PUSH ME! FUCKHEADS!
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wow. texans are faggy.
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A solution for Jeff’s EPS (Exploding Pants Syndrome):
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/alltherage/2010/08/gluttony-pants-by-betabrands-are-first-in-a-series-of-seven-deadly-sins-themed-trousers.html
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Baja Oklahoma.
Baja Oklahomo.
.
dto:
At the sight of Stormy
In a pilot seat,
Even the bawds of euphony
Would cry out sharply.
.
jtb
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Jason lighten up man. I don’t get bent out of shape when people joke about people from WV being in-bred ‘tards. I love Texas…really. Just take a pill.
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for those of you who don’t know. I’m way scarierier than a pilot.
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t-storm: You’re a stewardess?
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I don’t think they call them stewardesses any more. I believe the correct term is lap dancer.
jtb
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“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.”
George Carlin
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…just a joke folks…and I by no means want to make the cowgirls mad. I happen to like cowgirls…a lot. Farm girls too. And boy howdy…I’ve seen some real purdy city girls too. I’m not to keen on Eskimos though…I’ll admit that.
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Swami, Stormy, Dave,
Take it easy on Not Oprah, and stop picking on her for her homonym mistake. She was distracted because she lives up in Canada where the woods are full of bares.
jtb
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“I’ll take, ‘It’s scarier than..’ Alex for $800.”
“An Airline pilot”.
“What is a bus driver?”
“Be more specific.”
“What is an over the road bus driver?”
“That’s correct!”
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Always late to the party…sigh.
@ Tilly: Please do let us know how that visit with Mom goes. Without the Nostrils and Nancy stories, I am having Dysfunctional Family Withdrawal Syndrome.
As an aside…if you looked up dysfunctional family in a dictionary, there used to be a photo of my people. However, Dad passed over in 2003, then, Mom in 2004. I loved my parents, I did.
But apparently, (adult) orphans have their shit together.
Any correlation there?
Someone should do a study.
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Dang Jeff, did you send us our shirts by way of a slow boat from China? No sign of mine.
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Sorry guys. I made a drunk post. I also made a lot of drunk calls last night. I have several ex-girlfriend’s husbands calling me today. I woke up with my underwear on backwards (the piss gate was at my ass) and I was wearing a pair of coconut tits and a coin changer. Must have been fun.
This is almost as embarrassing as that time my Mother and Grandmother caught me jacking off to a picture of my Aunt. Almost.
I’ll take a pass. Thankyouverymuch.
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Damn Jason…and all this time I thought you were just being funny. Come to find out…you were dead drunk serious. The hell man?
Oh…e-m that picture of your Aunt…
…and fuck the Chineese too. How the hell did they end up with my goddamn t-shirt? Tabernec rice eating bastards.
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“I woke up with my underwear on backwards (the piss gate was at my ass) and I was wearing a pair of coconut tits and a coin changer. ” That’s a classic.
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We had to go through the panhandle on the way to California…But when we went it was only 18 degrees, so it wasn’t very enjoyable. I have say that Oklahoma was much worse…
@Jason…Sounds like an interesting morning…
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQFEY9RIRJA
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Saw a Dallas daytime hooker
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Thanks jtb (not)
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Abbey Road is pretty lonely at 5:43 a.m.
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Not Oprah…
Sorry, it was kind of a cheap shot. I’ll do anything to make it up to you…Meet you at the Peace Arch for a handshake, buy you a coffee and doughnut at a Tim Hortons, whatever you think is fair.
jtb
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This just in…There’s a dead earwig floating in a quarter inch of beer at the bottom of my beer glass I left on my desk last night. Makes me think all the other earwigs are saying…”Well, at least he died doing what he loved to do.”
Sunday huh?…guess I gotta find something to mow and a decent burial spot for my drinking buddy.
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Something tells me Not Oprah IS NOT the thin skinned type that can’t take joke at her own expense when meant in jest. I was just happy that her ONE little typo drew attention away from the MANY that I make!
JTB – I believe I have some of your weather today. Thank you, the straw where my lawn used to be can use it.
Earwig story – Ever since the Night Gallery episode about the earwig I’ve been a little freaked out by them. The Wrath of Kaan (sp?) where Chekov got wigged didn’t help. Well… enjoying a good cup of tea and I feel something between my bottom lip and my teeth where gum meets jaw bone… I figured it was something in the tea like a leaf, or a twig or something benign… nope. (involuntary full body shake)
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Another dude poundin’ rewrites for a book here. So much so that I’m hemorrhoidal, and forced to work from a standing posture, looking down on the computer screen from high above and straining to reach the keyboard.
I try to put myself in the mindset that the rewrites are MY rewrites, and not the publishers–they make the book better for ME. If you can wrap your head around that concept, the process might go a tad easier.
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