Toilet Troubles, Food Poisoning, and Yurtathon 2010

Our upstairs toilet is sealed-off tighter than the USS Skipjack fighter sub.  We’re going on Day Three, I believe, and can’t break through whatever is plugging it up.  We’ve plunged and prodded, and even poured hot water into the bowl.  But nothing can penetrate the turd wall.

One of our boys was the last to use it, of course.  Whenever a toilet overflows in this house, it has their fingerprints all over it… so to speak.  I don’t know what it is about teenagers, but they can apparently unleash eliminations like something out of the ham case at Wegmans.  Good god!  Have a glass of water every once in a while…

Anyway, I’m about ready to give up and call a plumber.  The upstairs catcher has been out of commission since Friday, I think, and we’re not able to fix the problem.

We even went out and bought a ludicrous “eel,” equipped with a crank and shit auger.  Yeah, and what a waste of money that turned out to be…  We also purchased some idiotic-looking super-plunger.  Ha!  Might as well flush those twelve dollars down the… ah hell, I can’t even do that!  Man, I’m starting to get whipped-up over here!!

I know some of you will advise me to remove the entire toilet, go out and buy a Watson 257-E something or other, perform the double-flowback procedure, etc. etc.  And that ain’t gonna happen.  I mean, seriously.  I have trouble changing the ink cartridges in my printer.

No, I’m gonna have to call the man.  We wanted to avoid it, because he charges $75.00 just to walk through the front door, then starts adding from there.  And right now is not the time to be throwing money around.  Sheesh.  It never stops.

Hey, wonder if I could have an industrial paper shredder customized and attached below the seat of the toilet, so it would act almost like a wood-chipper and cut down on the trauma being loosed on our plumbing system every day?  Is that feasible?  Please let me know your thoughts.

And since we’re on the subject, kinda sorta, I know a guy who went to TGI Friday’s on Friday night, ordered boneless chicken wings, tossed the leftovers into the backseat of his car… and ate them while driving to work yesterday.

“They were warm from the sun,” he said.  “I didn’t even have to heat them up!”

Heh.  Predictably, he spent the rest of the night near or atop a toilet.  It’s a wonder they didn’t have to LifeFlight his ass to the Warren G. Harding Food Poisoning Clinic.  Crazy.

I know I’m probably jinxing myself, big time, but I’ve never had food poisoning.  Even after eating roughly a million restaurant meals during my life…  Apparently I’ve been lucky, because almost everybody I know has a horror story or two.

Toney, for instance, had shrimp at a restaurant in Valencia years ago (a place called Sisley), and was sick for a week.  It was around the time Princess Diana died, and she still groans when she sees footage of the funeral.

And I know this one is kinda short, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.  For a Question, predictably enough, please tell us your personal stories about food poisoning, as well as any stopped-up, overflowing toilet tales you might know.  Use the comments link below.

And finally, to get all PBS ‘n’ shit with ya, I’m going to occasionally update you guys on the progress of Yurtathon 2010.  I’m going to need to raise a certain amount of money (not all that much, actually), to go back to the yurt village and finish my book, sometime in September.  And every shirt sale, and beer contribution, will go toward that goal.

And right now we’re at 10% of the target.  So, please buy yourself a shirt or three, and help me get back to the ridiculous roundhouse in the woods.

Thanks for your continued support!

I’ll see you again tomorrow.

Now playing in the bunker

Visit the Surf Report Souvenir Shop!

73 Responses to “Toilet Troubles, Food Poisoning, and Yurtathon 2010”

  1. Interesting!

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  2. Hiya

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  3. I ate some bad ham a few weeks ago because I was trying to get food poisoning in order to lose weight. Worked.

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  4. behold! The Periodic Table of British Swearing:
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bTH-T38nyLQ/TDzl8TCdOrI/AAAAAAAABC8/yDL11gzLQFU/s1600/hell_yes.jpg

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  5. No horror story on food sickness but I do have an elimination observation–do all men find their shit fascinating or is it just my husband?

    I have never and absolutely would never come from a bathroom visit extolling the magnificance of my giant turd(s).

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  6. just had my first experience with food poisoning yesterday. Had some bad shrimp and have spent the last 20 hours blasting liquid from both ends. I got about an hour of sleep last night and called in to work today, first time in over 2 years. Horrible cramping, shivers, sweats, etc. still feel like shit today and just attempted to eat a piece of dry toast and a glass of water.

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  7. I remember once in high school my friends drove me out to the middle of nowhere in WV and showed me the yurt collection. Is this the same place you are going? As I recall you didn’t rent them back then, they were for some scholastic summer camp or some other such crap.

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  8. Knock on wood, I’ve never had the type of food poisoning Sean describes above.

    Vicki-I’m guessing your husband falls into a group of roughly 80% of men who are fascinated with their poop. Went to high school with a guy who would cme back into the classroom and tell everybody they need to come to the restroom and check out his massive turd. A kid nearly got his head kicked for flushing one of his masterpieces before he could show it to his groupies.

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  9. WELL……vicki I personally have had poops so impressive i have had to talk about them. Of course that is not something i would share with just anyone but there are people, i feel, need to know.

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  10. Back in the day the company I worked for had one of those all-day state-of-the-company meetings with team building exercises and an evening of “entertainment” at a local hotel. One type of sandwich served at lunch was bad, and the next day half of the company called in sick. I only had a relatively mild case and missed one day, but some people were out for several days.

    I had a much worse bout a couple years later. I ate something on a Friday, was sick all night and all day Saturday, and was barely feeling well enough to go in to work on Monday.

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  11. I have never had a fever (I run low when sick) & don’t ever get the flu. I also have never had food poisoning. I get colds and such (but my temp runs around 95 or 96 degrees) but never get the one where you have shivers, throw up, diarrhea, etc. Of course, now that I have said that, I am sure I will be jinxed & tomorrow will be sick. I hope it will be tomorrow so I can call out. I need a break!

    @Good: Were the people who got sick from company food allowed to consider it workman’s comp?

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  12. I had bum chicken the day before Thanksgiving (many years back) and spent Thanksgiving morning heaving up my stomach lining. Limped into my parents house and could barely get a forkful of turkey down.

    Because of our septic, I can’t use any toilet paper other than Scotts. No Angel Soft to carress my cheeks. Maybe the terlet paper you’re using is adding to the problem?

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  13. Melissa – it was company-paid sick leave. I believe the company reported the hotel to the public health department. We were all asked what we had to eat that day.

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  14. madz1962: “Maybe the terlet paper you’re using is adding to the problem?”

    My motto is to flush early and often.

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  15. Jeez here we go talking about shit again.

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  16. Chicken tacos. Those two words have the same effect on me as “Princess Diana’s funeral” probably have on Toney. I made homemade chicken tacos ONCE, almost 15 years ago, and go sick for about a week as well. I guess I undercooked the chicken… I’ll never know. But ever since, I can barely mention those two words in the same paragraph, let alone eat them again.

    Also, almost 20 years ago, I got horribly sick after eating a hamburger from a fast food place. I don’t think it was food poisoning, I believe it just happened to coincide with a stomach virus, but it resulted in me not touching another hamburger for 7 years. I still shudder to this day. What a nightmare!

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  17. Try dumping (a ha) some biological laundry detergent in there overnight. The enzymes are great at eating (ahem) “organic matter”. Use the cold wash stuff.

    Most of our toilets have pressurized cisterns – I HIGHLY recommend those.

    I got horrific outta-both-ends food poisoning from Emeril Lagasse’s place in Las Vegas. Bam indeed.

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  18. madz1962 – you could be correct. We have regular sewage, but the builders here even recommend that we not use certain types of toilet tissue, Charmin being public (sewage) enemy #1.

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  19. “We’ve plunged and prodded, and even poured hot water into the bowl.”

    Jeff – Let me be the first to mention, hot water in the toilet bowl is not a good idea. If you didn’t crack the bowl, you got real lucky. Bite the bullet and call Roto Rooter if plunging doesn’t clear the clog.

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  20. Sounds to me like you need to replace your trap bearings, probably just the outer set is bad but while you got it apart won’t cost but couple of bucks to replace the inners as well.

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  21. Chocolate Cream Swiss Rolls are verboten in our house. First I was afraid I was going to die. Then I was afraid I was going to live. I have never had such painful cramps in my life – it was like a Charley horse in every organ between my esophagus and my balloon knot. It makes it difficult to drive at highway speeds when bent over like a jackknife below the dashboard.

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  22. Couple cases of alcohol poisoning but no food poisoning. If I could survive eating Balut and drinking San Miguel beer, well, you know the rest.

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  23. All you need to fix that toilet is a spoon.

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  24. WB in OH – You is way to funny?

    I would suggest replacing the fluid recidification pump and re-adjusting the anal flow flapper gasket.

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  25. Ah, I have a perfect toilet story…

    When my boyfriend and I first moved into our house, we obviously had to have a party to break it in. I think we’d lived there 3 days or so, so all the pipes were gradually working themselves back out (nobody had lived in the house for 2 years). The night of the party, the toilet was being flushed frequently, and decided to stop during the party. It would no longer flush. We announced to everyone that peeing outside was encouraged, but if they had to drop the kids off, they could use our upstairs bathroom. Somebody must’ve have missed the memo because they ended up pooping and then scooping into the garbage can along with a wad of toilet paper the size of a cabbage. We were changing the toilet out the next day and discovered it. So now when people come over we make sure to let everyone know that pooping in our garbage cans is prohibited.

    I had food poisoning about a month ago actually. I ate a bowl of cereal in the morning, and felt like shit the rest of the day. I had a severe migraine and stomach cramps all day, finally went to bed at 7. Figured out the next day that I’d eaten my cereal with a bowl of sour milk…I blamed it on the cereal the day before because it was a cheap branded Pops called ‘Sugar Fluffs’ or something weird like that…but it was definitely the milk.

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  26. “Balut and drinking San Miguel beer” You only do that once.

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  27. Do you ever wipe so much you start bleeding, then you start worrying about getting some sort of turdfection in the fresh butt wound you made?

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  28. Blamed the taste, not the sickness.

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  29. Ahhh yes…a day without out a good poop story is a like a day without sunshine… ;)

    The house I lived in with my late husband only had one baffroom. The toilet was constantly plugged up. I swear it was so bad you had to pinch it off, flush, continue.

    So the first time he clogs it up (I forgot to tell him the above instructions) he looks for the nearest plunger. Unfortunately, and I don’t know why, the only plunger I had was for sinks. The handle was only about 8 inches long and the plunger was about 3, maybe 4 inches diameter. I’m downstairs watching TV and I hear him screaming for me. When I walk into the bathroom and through the stinkbomb fog, there he is with the shit water over flowing, turds swirling about and up to his forearm with the mini-plunger. He screams, “What fucking idiot bought this plunger for a toilet?? It would be easier if I just plunged my ass!!!”

    I’m still laughing…even now. Classic.

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  30. Me either…I read about once though, in… a periodical.

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  31. Dear Lord, I had to google Balut. I think I’ve got food poisoning!

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  32. Man couldn’t we talk about our favorite color or something? Mine is blue by the way.

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  33. @Bikerchick – That just made me laugh out loud. Thank you. My day was frantic and shitty as usual here in the office, and once again The Surf has got me laughing.

    @Icecycle- Once in a great while when we have cheap, cardboard-like toilet paper that would be better if used to sand paint off the wall.

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  34. Uncle Wedgie? Why? for the love of god, why? I mean that was some of the stuff they made people eat on Survivor as a competition…

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  35. I spent 27 hours in the bathroom of a Croatian bus retching and blasting while we weaved along the Dalamatian coast. On the occasional visit out of the toilet everybody laughed at me and/or blew smoke in my face. I think I can close the category on this question.

    Oh, it was bad fish.

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  36. I had food poisoning on a plane once and spent so much time in the cubical that the flight attendant knocked on the door to see if I was ok… please just let me die in peace….

    yeah good times

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  37. In the early 1990s, the company for which I worked (you would recognize the name if I told you) decided to save money by having a Christmas buffet at work during the day instead of having an evening Christmas party. As part of the festivities they invited a local high school choir consisting of 80 kids or so to wander from floor to floor singing songs of the season. No problem, because the kids would cash in on some free gourmet food along the way.

    Yeah, several of the gourmet items were swarming with E.coli and, given the severity of the resulting symptoms, there was some F.coli and a little G.coli thrown in to flavor the pot. Eighty high school kids had their Christmas ruined and about 80 per cent of the 700 employees were puking, etc. for several days.

    One of the saving graces of being in IT is that my folks and I were busy with server and network upgrades and missed out on the food. We worked in a lonely building for several days before and after Christmas. I suspect that the family that owned the company paid off the high school students’ parents to avoid lawsuits.

    Altogether, a very expensive Christmas buffet for the company.

    jtb

    OB12
    FGB

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  38. ok now I feel a rumbling in my bilge …power of suggestion… geez

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  39. Drunken sailor double dog dared by the experience veterans.

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  40. There is no way in hell anyone will ever get me to eat Balut. No way.

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  41. SoS…

    Sorry to hear yours is blue. Mine used to turn purple from time to time. Now it’s just pink from underuse.

    jtb

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  42. I think I have had shit of every color, including blue.

    I’ve eaten a lot of things that would kill a lesser man. The worst case of return of the toxin was in 2004. Wow.

    I was in a port-a-john blowing butt-sauce out the back end and stomach nuggets out the front. I started off with a plan, but everyone’s plan goes to shit when they get hit the face with their own vomit.

    The pressure from my built in shit-hose was hitting the waste below with such force that I had return geyser blast back right into the hole. I had a two way street of liquid shit; one lane diving forth with the gusto of Captain Nemo into the depths of a port-a-john that hadn’t been cleaned out in what seemed like eternity, and a return splash spray that was shot gunning other peoples shit all about my ass and the underside of my balls.

    I was heaving so hard into the little urinal bolted into the wall that I think I left about 2 inches shorter due to spinal compression. The throat foam slammed into the piss-bowl at an angle so perfect that Pythagoras couldn’t begin to contemplate it. The trajectory of return puke caused a wonderful Technicolor rain of poorly stewed goat meat to land grazingley on my right ear and powerfully on my shoulder. Since my natural reaction was to pull out away from the vomit fountain I did such a thing; not realizing at the time I was still ejecting mouth-sin from so far down that my stomach and my ass were arguing over who got what from my upper intestinal tract. The drumming of throw-up battering the port-a-john door was so intense and lasted so long that the little plastic lock latch ended up disengaging. The door swung open to reveal a goat and shit covered me to the enjoyment of my friends. Through their laughter I did find out that my gruesome display did cause a vomit chain to occur with two other people tossing chunks.

    I was lucky a water tank was nearby. I rinsed off as good as I could before I walked back over to my tent. I threw away all the clothes that I had on me in a bin a few tents over. So that the stench wouldn’t bring on the doom for a second time.

    Stupid goat.

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  43. Man…I should go back to the old site & harvest some of my columns…at least half of them were about taking a shit or toilet related.

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  44. I’ve always wondered why nobody has invented a garbage disposal for the toilet.

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  45. Dave’s not here, man – You drink enough San Miguel, balut is just another appetizer to go with the fish heads and rice and monkey meat on a stick. Ahhh, the pleasures of being a sailor… 8 )

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  46. Food poisioning once from bad fish at a resturant in Greenwood Mississippi. I was playing at a Holiday Inn for 2 weeks and still had to get on stage every night for the 4 days of hell. I had a bucket behind my amp just in case, but never puked, just desperately wanted to.

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  47. In the Kanawha Valley you can call “Eddy’s Rooter” to clean out your shit. They will come for $75 and “root” out anything stuck in the pipes, guaranteed. They have a large electrical machine that can grind anything out.

    Feel sorry for the workers, It’s hard to tell what their day end up being like.

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  48. Jeff, may I suggest you invest in a muffin monster:
    http://www.jwce.com/products/muffin-monster-model-30000/

    What great advertising – used in prisons and jails!

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  49. @bikerchick – CLASSIC! That gave me a good belly laugh. (Are we related? Some of your stories sound DAMN familiar!) LOL

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  50. Off the subject….I just had some chick call my office (I work for a plastic surgeon) and wanted to know if we split tongues. She wanted a biforcated tongue…like a snake…. but didn’t want to go to a tattoo parlor because they don’t use anesthesia. Wow. It takes all kinds. OK….carry on poopy people.

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  51. madz1962: Hey..you never know. Distant cuzins’?

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  52. I was going to start this off with a TMI warning, but apparently if you are this far into the thread you really don’t need it.

    Once, about 15 yeas back, the now Ex wife and I went somewhere in the northern VA area for a nice dinner on a Friday night. Now I have the genetic luck of the draw to have a bit of a “gassy” metabolism. Where we ate, and what we ate is lost in the crumbling file cabinets of my mind. But the result….. Oh MY.

    I spent the weekend exiled to the second floor of the house with all windows open. The family made do on the first floor. Every 5-6 minutes an eruption of gas occurred that would do a large elephant proud. nonstop. from Friday late until Monday during the day. The eruptions were punctuated by many episodes of frothy, foamy bowel movements. They were the consistency of a defrosted Mcdonald’s shake.
    Plus the funk, oh good ogg the funk. I couldn’t even stand it myself. The wife attempted a brief visit sometime Sunday, and that lasted all of about 48 seconds before she turned and ran.

    The dog even abandoned me.

    A creature that enjoys rolling in dead things and poop could not stand to be near me.

    Whatever intestinal bug did it to me I hope i never catch it again. I don’t think I could go a second round with it.

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  53. I’ve been lucky, no major food poisoning. Just the occasional discomfort from something questionable.

    Didn’t you get a new toilet in the throneroom not that long ago? Heres something I read, dealing with low flow toilets. One reason why pipes tend to clog with them is that they do not put out enough water with the flush to lubricate the pipes, so as you try to eject your shitburg, it eventually stops due to lack of water to carry it all the way to the street. The suggestion, and its something you can try is to flush before producing a shitburg in order to wet the pipes, and enhance it travel on its way to meet the titanic.

    Something else, is your toilet a mutlistage flush? Quick handle push for urine, hold the handle for a full flush? Those kids of yours holding the handle sufficiently long to ensure a full water flush? Otherwise you end up with the same problem as the low flow dry pipe condition and things get stuck.

    One more question, is your upstairs throne room on the street side or backyard side of the house? Street side would get me to thinking theres a pipe problem between the house and sewer. Backside (heh) of the house and it may be the dry pipe phenomena.

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  54. Forgot to say, when your plumber shows up, find out how far he thinks the clog was after he clears it. That’ll help pinpoint your trouble spot, your drain auger just may not be long enough to reach the constipated portion of your pipes.

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  55. Mix Alli in with all the Secrets’ meals, that way their turdbergs turn into nice slick grease pools that flow smooth and easy through all the pipes in the house.

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  56. Not a great topic for me, since I’m eating lunch right now. I just returned from a local Asian market (it’s Irvine. They’re everywhere.), where I purchased a “sashimi vegetable salad” for lunch. Chopped up tuna, yellowtail, and salmon (all uncooked, of course), with tobico (flying fish roe), atop a great pile of greenery and sliced veggies. It tasted great, until I started reading the update.
    Although I regularly enjoy sushi, I’m worried now.
    I might have a really good comment later. Hopefully not.

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  57. icecycle66 – I liken that ALLI shit leakage to a Manwich Volcano.

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  58. The “Muffin Monster” is very much yes!

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  59. I have a strong constitution, and will eat almost anything left out of the fridge, but a weekend in the back seat for chicken is a bit much, even for me. Where I used to work, there was a homeless guy who would scrounge the dumpsters looking for food. One day, I saw him with a huge clear garbage bag full of fried chicken. I asked, and he said it was from the dumpster of KFC. I tried to explain the possible issues, but he just said, “Naw, it’s OK, it’s OK!”

    Joe

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  60. @Linda – they kind of do have toilet garbage disposals. If you have a toilet below the waste water pipe (e.g. in your basement) then you may need a turd chewer to help overcome gravity. My god they must be awful things when they break :)

    If the tub/shower/sink are draining properly, the blockage must be near the toilet, no?

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  61. Q: Who told you to buy a Toto, on this here forum?
    A: Me.

    Q: Would the money lost initially on the Toto have been compensated for by now by no visits from Joe Plumber?
    A: I’m guessing, yes.

    Q: Is there anything worse than a person who tells you “told you so”
    A: Probably not. But here I am. The unclogged-since-buying-a-Toto-Swede

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  62. Food poisoning: Fish in 1979. It was one of those illnesses where you pray to God and ask him to just kill you because it is so bad. Ended up going to the hospital and having them inject some miracle elixir in my left ass cheek. After that, it was a diet of fluids for the next 3 days.

    Toilets: Little Valley Speedway in New York State. I had my three year old daughter with me, so I had to take her into the men’s room so she could pee. We got into the one remaing empty stall, and I swear, there was a mountain of shit inside the bowl that was so tall the the top of it protruded over the seat. I deftly held the kid up over the rim and had her do her thing. Ohhhh…and don’t let me get started on telling you about the smell!

    Same daughter was responsible for my last excursion into home plumbing. Green plastic frog bathtub toys don’t flush very well. I had to remove the toilet from the base to get to it…at 2 AM!

    Weirdest toilet I have ever seen was at a remote weather station in Alaska. After you took a dump, you pushed a button and these heating elements came on and incinerated the fecal material. And no, it didn’t work very well.

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  63. Once got food poisoning while doing my night job — party DJ. It was a New Years Eve party and I must’ve got ahold of some bad sausage & peppers. It didn’t hit me until the following morning, bad news was I had to go to my day job at the record store. Yep, we were open New Years day and I couldn’t get anyone to cover for me. I was manager on duty that day so I spent the whole day in the back office, never more than 10 steps from the john. Tryi getting sympathy from anyone when you’re sick on New Year’s day and they all just assume you overindulged the night before.

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  64. I have the constitution of a rat. I, like the rat, can not regurgitate. The last time I heaved was the end of 1982, and it hit me so suddenly it was scary. Both ends at once, as is the normal result.

    Back in 1970, I was 14 and had broken my collarbone in gym class. A week later I’m playing in the woods across from my house and decide to break a bottle over a rock. Here I am all trussed up with my right shoulder immobilized, and now a streaming line of blood from my lacerated finger. Now I’ve got a gigantic bandage on my left middle finger to go aling with the cast and Ace bandage on my shoulder.

    What followed was a stomach virus so bad that I wanted to die. Try wiping yourself for a week with your off hand which has a huge bandage on it.

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  65. About a year ago I got horrific food poisoning from a really dubious McDonalds that is known for a really sketchy staff. I should have known better but it was late at night and I was in a hurry. I paid the price.

    As for toilets they all tremble at my approach. Even pre-lowflows had trouble with my leavings. The new low flow toilets in my house are utterly and completely overwhelmed. I’ve spent hours sometimes trying to unplug them. I’m going to install an American Standard Champion 4 model. It can supposedly flush small household pets if you’re not careful. We shall see if it can deal with my leavings.

    If I were you Jeff I’d just tell the plumber to hook you up with an American Standard Champion 4. It would be cheaper than a couple more plumber calls and save you a lot of time spent cursing and plunging.

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  66. never had food poisoning unless you talk to my farmer employers.

    tell that kid that he broke it so he can fix it.

    love the where jeff lived pics. I lived in ATL and miss it. Sort of. The star bar was my bar for about a year.

    I once told a singer (Kelly Hogan) that I thought it was cool that she covered Summertime by Sublime. Yeah, I’m a fuckwit.

    Here’s a question, slightly political so forgive me and/or ignore me.
    But does anyone esle feel that the more talk radio bullshit there is there is actually less freedom of speech? (In an ironic twist).

    I don’t mean people shutting down dr. laura or glen beck. I mean those people bitching about what actually goes on in this country.

    My example would be that all of us could tell jeff he sucks and that’s our right, the government can’t. Jeff, you don’t suck, it’s just an example.

    I’m rambling, I had some beers earlier and then denny’s coffee and the goddamn cheese stick and grilled cheese sammich.

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  67. Ohhhh, i want the cheese stick grilled sandwich so badly. I am thinkg of flying my wife off to Paris just to get the freedom needed to go eat that thing.

    How was it? was it awesome?

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  68. Enjoy a pony keg, Jeff – courtesy of me and the Missus. Just make sure you post some of our honeymoon ‘Smoking Fish’ pictures, whenever the hell we get around to sending them.

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  69. Sunshine in vagina?

    You should clap that thing shut before you get a case of clit-burn.

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  70. “in_va” – as in “In Virginia”

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  71. It….was….delicious!

    I may never poop again, though.

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  72. One of the worst food poisoning experiences ever was during a backpack holiday in Indonesia. After being served fried rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner, KFC’s seemed like the western oasis we longed for. That turned out to be a big mistake, I suspect the corn that was floating in luke warm water. Bacterias over here please! No shit-control whatosever for days.
    Also – during that holiday a newspaper boy was holding out his newspaper while we were having one of our fried rice dinners. I made the colonial “no thanks” gesture (imagine the white uniform and hat), but he would not move, so I had to look at his newspaper shouting the grim news of Lady Di’s death on the front. Ofcourse I bought the paper and still have it somewhere on the attic.

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  73. You probably have tree roots in your pipes. Nothing will cut through them but a professional plumber. The last time we had these kinds of problems I flushed a spoon down the toidy when I was cleaning out the nasties out of the fridge.

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