It shows a woman in her forties (probably around my age), sitting in a living room reading, or nursing a wicked hangover, or whatever. A teenage girl enters, and says, “Mom, did you borrow my green shirt?” And the mother looks up from her copy of ‘Herpes Is Forever’ (I’m guessing), before a series of flashbacks is triggered.
In it, the woman is shown cavorting with two other hard-partying harlots, dancing and clubbing it up and engaging in much purposeful walking. And their confident strides say, “We’re here, we mean business, and we’ve been enjoying empty, drunken sex with strangers since Reagan’s first term, possibly Carter… who can possibly know at this point?”
The woman, of course, is wearing her daughter’s green shirt, and is finally shown slopping food all over it.
It’s a very quick shot: the last flashback scene. But it appears the women are walking through a darkened alley somewhere, probably having just finished up with their dates, and the girl’s mother is eating what might be a fistful of goulash. I don’t really understand that part of it. Perhaps she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t realize there is no bowl or utensils in use? And where did she get it, anyway? Where does a person buy loose goulash in the alleyway of a large city? It’s confusing. In any case, the woman dumps a great load of the stuff down the front of herself.
The flashback ends, and we’re back in the living room with the teenager, who has just asked her mother a question about the whereabouts of her green shirt. And she answers, “It’s not really my style, honey.” Which is very close to a lie… At best, it’s a politician’s answer that seems to mean something specific (that she hasn’t seen the shirt), but actually has a large amount of wiggle-room built into it.
The girl mumbles, “Weird. I can’t find it,” turns, and leaves. And the mother is shown racing up the stairs, and frantically pawing through a clothes hamper. She starts flinging dirty underwear onto the floor, and eventually locates the horribly stained garment, mashed and wrinkled near the bottom. Apparently she’d forgotten all about it — possibly about the entire evening — and it looked like the shirt might now be wet. Maybe she’d come home in a drunken stupor, on a subsequent evening, got confused and evacuated her bladder into the hamper? It’s an unknown.
Then she takes the shirt to the laundry room, and starts tending to the many stains she collected during her wild, wasted escapade downtown. Luckily, the shirt is green so it’s likely that the grass stains on the back aren’t all that obvious. And the new goulash-busting Tide detergent took care of the rest.
The final scene shows the daughter walking through the living room in the ugly green shirt, and the mother says, “Oh, I see you found it?” And the girl answers, “Yeah, I guess it was hiding in my closet!”
Oh, and if that poor child only knew the truth… it would destroy her. The deception, the sexual addiction, the discotheques, the endless parade of men who favor cologne and gold bracelets… It’s like an episode of Law & Order SVU boiled down to thirty seconds!
Or is it possible that I’m reading too much into a detergent commercial? You be the judge.
As for a Question, please use the comments section to tell us about other current commercials that are shocking and disgraceful. I saw one about Gushers the other day that was, well… I don’t even want to get into it. What horrible, horrible things have you seen depicted and insinuated in TV commercials? Tell us about it, won’t you?
Also, what other outrageous stuff is hinted-at in that Tide commercial? What did I miss? It’s up to us to keep society on the straight and narrow!
I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!