EVERY THURSDAY A THEME!
 

Are you fatigued by all the guilt-based "awareness" days (or weeks or months) we're constantly being hit with, and long for something a little less earnest? Yeah, we're with ya. Oh, we understand the importance of events such as Buy a Paper Star to Help Ease the Suffering of People Who Participate in the Annual Senior Citizens Are Being Bilked Out of Their Life Savings! Awareness 5K Charity Walk for Deaf Minorities and People with Face Cancer, but where's the fun? 

We propose just one day a week, Thursday, be set aside for themes not quite so depressing and accusatory. Below is our preliminary calendar, and a handy link where folks can provide suggestions for additional themes. None of which should require anyone to donate money, wear a ribbon, sport a rubber bracelet, or give up a Saturday...

Together, we can build a more perfect week!

2008 2009 Thursday Theme
January 3 January 1 Talk like your jaw's wired shut.
January 10 January 8 Pretend to be Canadian.
January 17 January 15 Sashay like a dandy.
January 24 January 22 Blink too much.
January 31 January 29 Put one finger in your ear, as if you're receiving a transmission.
February 7 February 5 Wallow in self-pity.
February 14 February 12 Scream every fifth word.
February 21 February 19 Fake a seizure.
February 28 February 26 Answer the phone, "Rectal and Anal?"
March 6 March 5 Talk through your nose like a person from Wisconsin.
March 13 March 12 Stomp and clap the "We Will Rock You" beat.
March 20 March 19 Buck your teeth way out.
March 27 March 26 Forego hygiene.
April 3 April 2 Grow progressively more haughty.
April 10 April 9 Constantly lick your front teeth.
April 17 April 16 Windmill right arm while walking.
April 24 April 23 Mutter about fish.
May1 April 30 Hock a goober.
May 8 May 7 Talk into your sleeve, like a Secret Service agent.
May 15 May 14 Make your voice quiver with righteous indignation.
May 22 May 21 Wince 'n' fidget.
May 29 May 28 When finished talking, add "Mmmm..." to the end of your statements.
June 5 June 4 Feign Catholicism.
June 12 June 11 Fixate on Maine Coons.
June 19 June 18 Tell stories about Abraham Lincoln that are not true.
June 26 June 25 Hold a pen in your right hand, like Bob Dole.
July 3 July 2 Snicker whenever someone uses the word "long."
July 10 July 9 Shrug at random times, and say, "Hey, if the shoe fits."
July 17 July 16 Pretend to have an underbite.
July 24 July 23 Get trapped inside an invisible mime box.
July 31 July 30 Brag about your back hickies.
August 7 August 6 Draw a John-Boy mole on your face.
August 14 August 13 Yell at your teeth, and let them know they brought it on themselves.
August 21 August 20 Wave goodbye to your turds, blow kisses.
August 28 August 27 Carry around a fake beard, but never put it on.
September 4 September 3 Repeatedly flinch like you're anticipating an explosion.
September 11 September 10 Threaten to quit both your jobs and move back to Denmark.
September 18 September 17 Clip your toenails in a restaurant.
September 25 September 24 Desperately beg for forgiveness.
October 2 October 1 Walk around with Pringles shards stuck to your face and neck.
October 9 October 8 Occasionally grab the side of your head and scream, "The plate! Dear God, the plate!!"
October 16 October 15 Speak knowingly about Fliegelman's Law of Tall Socks.
October 23 October 22 Infect as many people as possible with the Sleepy's Mattress Center jingle.
October 30 October 29 Pretend to have a Kraft caramel sealed to the roof of your mouth.
November 6 November 5 While exiting the bathroom rub your stomach, and say, "Wow!"
November 13 November 12 Bitch about President Ford.
November 20 November 19 Make references to inside jokes that do not exist, wink a lot.
November 27 November 26 Whenever you sneeze, holler "DAVE CONCEPCION!!"
December 4 December 3 Attempt to steer every conversation toward Cobb salad.
December 11 December 10 Act like something's about to fall on you.
December 18 December 17 At twelve minutes past every hour, stand up, yell "IT'S NOT FAIR!!" then sit back down.
December 25 December 24 Wear a fanny pack full of boiled eggs to work.
December 31 Ask people how much money they make in a year, and don't let it drop.
 
Suggest a theme!    

Add to: del.icio.us, Digg, Fark, Furl, Google, ma.gnolia, Netscape, reddit, Squidoo


The West Virginia Surf Report!