A couple weeks ago I had a Netflix meltdown. I’d been watching nothing but old TV shows for a long time, and it had become boring. The discs would lie on our coffee table for weeks, because I had little interest in watching them, and we were paying $17 a month for the privilege.
So I flew off the handle and mailed everything back. Then I went to my queue and removed most TV shows, and moved the rest way down the list. I also changed my plan from three-at-a-time to one-at-a-time, with a new strategy of renting movies only.
When I threw this little tantrum I’d just paid my latest $17, so I had almost a full month left at the old plan. Which means I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately. Probably more during the past month than the previous six months combined… And really enjoying it.
But now the one-at-a-time plan has kicked-in, and I think I might’ve made a tactical error. We’ll see how it goes, but I was just starting to get into Netflix again, and it’s all going to slow down to a pitiful trickle.
People always say couples should never go to bed angry. But I think it might be equally important to never perform queue maintenance while angry. Perhaps I’ll write a self-help book about it?
Over the weekend I watched The Wackness, and Transsiberian. I gave the former two stars, because it sucks very much, and the latter four stars. Transsiberian isn’t going to make Alfred Hitchcock’s husky ghost worried or anything, but I found it entertaining. And the setting was unusual and beautiful.
I also have Pineapple Express at home, and will probably watch it on Friday. Then there will be a dead spot for several days, while I wait for the next disc to arrive. I don’t think there’s been a single day during the past three or four years when there wasn’t at least one Netflix disc in this house.
Will somebody please hold me?
A couple days ago I went to Rite-Aid to get postal tape, and ended up also buying two enormous jars of Planters dry roasted peanuts. They were buy-one-get-one-free, and looked mighty good to me.
When Toney got home from work she saw them sitting on the kitchen counter, and did a full double-take. They’re huge; after we’re finished with the contents, we could use the glass containers to make a pair of living room lamps.
“That’s why I don’t allow you to go to the grocery store with me,” she said. “Look at those things!”
Then she poured a few into her hand, and couldn’t stop eating them all weekend. “See!” I kept telling her. “I know about these kinds of things. You doubt me, but I know.”
My right tennis (tenna) shoe is suddenly making a wanka wanka noise when I walk. It reminds me of the soundtrack to a 1970s porn film, back when a couple having sex looked like the Doobie Bros. playing rugby.
I complained about it to a woman at work, and she said, “Hey, they’re Skechers. What do you expect?”
What the hell does that mean?
The older Secret was supposed to have a swim meet yesterday, and we were obligated to “donate” something to the concession stand. It’s something along the lines of forced volunteering, but whatever.
Toney said she’d bring melted cheese for the nachos, and it was already in the Crockpot when I got out of bed. Then they canceled the meet, about thirty minutes before it was to start. Supposedly the other team had a lot of snow in their area, and folks were unable to travel.
Therefore… we had about five gallons of hot liquefied cheese, and nothing to do with it. OK, maybe it was only about two gallons, but you know what I mean.
We had nachos with lunch, and they were good, but it would take a full three months to eat through that bucket of boiled-down Velveeta. What the hell, man?!
So Toney started making calls, offering to deliver hot cheese to the front doors of all her friends. And nobody turned her down! If someone made me such an offer, I would almost certainly say no. It’s just the way I roll. But these people said bring it on.
One person required a trade, though. She was stuck with a galvanized washtub full of pasta salad, and said we’d have to take some of it off her hands, if she agreed to accept a gravy boat of liqui-cheese.
How does weird shit like this keep happening to us?
I’ll leave you now with a Question based on current events. Since there was an amazing happy ending to the USAirways jet “crash” last week, I’d like to know about the scariest thing you’ve ever experienced on an airplane.
Thankfully, most of my flights have been uneventful, but I’ll never forget one of them. I was flying into Charleston, WV from somewhere (Cleveland?), on one of those little Patsy Cline planes, and went through some hellacious turbulence. By the time we landed, my entire body had practically turned to stone. I’d never been so tense in all my life. I think every muscle reduced in size by 25%.
So, that’s your Question for today, boys and girls. Use the comments section below.
And I’ll see ya tomorrow.