The Things That Are Exciting Us, etc.

Since I had little to do with it, I think it’s OK for me to go on and on about how great the website looks at this point.  Right?  I’m not responsible for any of it, so it’s acceptable to gush, I believe.

On Monday the final tweak to the footer happened, and for the first time ever… I’m happy with it.  There are always two or three things about the homepage that bug the crap out of me, but not now.  It’s close to perfect, I think.

Sure, some of the inner pages suck, like the ABOUT page, and the Surf Report gift shop.  But those are different projects for a different day.  I’ll deal with them, eventually.

Right now I’m just gonna hit refresh and watch how lightning-fast the page loads, sigh with satisfaction, and smile like a large retarded man who just won a cake raffle.

I downloaded the new Eels album this morning, and it’s gonna take a few listens…  It’s definitely not a record that grabs you by the throat on the first listen; an investment of time will be necessary.  But I’m confident I’ll eventually dig it.  I mean, it’s the Eels, right?

Here’s a review.

And Steve and I will be traveling to Philadelphia to see the “band” perform next month.  I’m excited.  They’re great live, and will rip your head clean off.  Anybody else planning to be at the show?  Maybe we can meet-up for a pre-concert adult beverage somewhere?  Let me know.

At work they installed all new vending machines.  I think the previous company lost their contract, or something, and now we’ve got some crazy-ass machines.  Oh, nothing like the ones in Japan, ours still sell normal stuff.  They’re just extra-flashy and unusual.

The soda machines have video screens that display commercials and sometimes the current temperature inside the machine itself.  The candy bar/chips machines accept credit cards(?!), and also feature a large screen where you must confirm your purchase before committing to a contract to purchase a 3 Musketeers or whatever.

I kinda like the confirmation requirement.  ‘Cause it sucks when you have your mind set on a certain candy bar, hit the wrong button, and a sack of trail mix drops — along with your heart.  So, I give the confirmation requirement a big sausage thumb-up.

I haven’t seen anyone busting out the Visa card to buy Funyuns yet, but I’ll undoubtedly do it someday.  I’m often without cash, so I can see myself taking advantage of the feature.  In fact, the only reason I ever have actual cash is because of the vending machines at work… This might be the final nudge to a completely cashless existence.

Yeah, the things are pretty crazy.  The soda machines are like something off the Jetsons.   If a person from the 1890s was transported to our break room, he’d probably cower behind a chair every time someone bought a Coke.

“Balderdash, bully, and greasy shitballs, my good fellow!!”

One thing bothers me, though.  All the candy bars are $1.00, except Milky Way.  And they’re $1.10.  Why?  What’s that all about it??  I don’t get it.  Is Milky Way a premium bar now?  Can anyone explain this to me?

It was a challenge to get this update written, on account of a cranked-up Playstation game and constant interruptions, but I hope it wasn’t too suckin’.  As for a Question… yesterday we talked about stuff that’s pissing us off.  Why not do the opposite today, and discuss the things we’re excited about?

You know, specific things.  Not abstract goop like “my wonderful family, who provide joy and inspiration every day…”  This ain’t the Hallmark Channel.  Or Facebook.  Tell us about something that’s excited you recently.

Or just talk about vending machines, whatever.

I probably won’t be able to update again until Sunday.  So, have a great weekend, my friends.

I’ll see ya next time!

Now playing in the bunker

Treat yourself today at Amazon!

200 Responses to “The Things That Are Exciting Us, etc.”

  1. First!

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  2. And I read the update too!

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  3. Hey-oh!!!

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  4. Excited…Going to a Reds game next week. Taking a couple of days vacation next week.

    A company we do contract work for has vending machines that they can swipe their employee card and it gets deducted from an account they set up. I’d be 400 pounds if I had an account with the vending machine!

    Oh, Fall is right around the corner, I’m exicted to fuck and back about Fall. Fuck you Summer you hot cruel grass growing bitch!

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  5. I’m excited that the other half dropped a hint that They Might Be Giants were playing somewhere reasonably close aroun my birthday…..

    I dragged her to a show in Asbury Park over the summer, and she was totally impressed, and said that night that she would like to see them again.

    The guys put on a great show, and really know how to get the house rocking along with them.

    oooh , now i’m getting all excited…

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  6. I am excited to refinance my house to a 15 year mortgage and 3.9 percent, meaning I might get it paid off before I die. That is a plus.

    I am excited that soon it will snow. What can I say, I live up North??

    that is about it. I need a life. bummer

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  7. First ?

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  8. Really? sixth? there were no comments!! stoopid interwebs

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  9. Now I want cake.

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  10. I am excited about starting college for the first time this fall. I am finally going to work on a real degree at a real college and maybe someday have a job with real pay.

    I guess I am also somewhat excited about getting my house back the way I want it since my fiance and I broke up last week. I look forward to having it back to being totally mine.

    Outside of those things I don’t think there is much for me to look forward to these days. Xanax prescriptions maybe.

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  11. I’m excited that the MN State Fair starts tomorrow!

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  12. THat Red Velvet Cake picture is killin’ me!!

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  13. I got my weed wacker tuned up last night, that was pretty exciting. Took an hour but when it finally purred like a steroid enraged kitten, it was worth my hands smelling like gas.

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  14. Less than a month until Fall. I’m so happy. This Summer has been the worst of my life. No more sweating through my Levis before 11 in the morning.

    Milky Way bars are great but the Milky Way caramel only ones are the best though they are hard to find.

    And I also now want cake. A hulking tower of German chocolate goodness.

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  15. Today’s my birthday and I lived to be 55.

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  16. I’m happy a guy a work gave his two weeks notice. Now I get his office!

    I’m sure my happiness will be short lived – I’m sure that with his office I also inherit his load of crap that never got finished. Should this get posted on yesterday’s topic? Now I’m confused. I want cake. We don’t even have the old crappy kind of vending machines. Are they now refferred to as ‘analog’? Wow, I’m really rambling now.

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  17. Happy birthday Vicki. Enjoy the hell out of it.

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  18. Happy Birfday, Vicki! You should have cake.

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  19. Happy Birthday Vicki, hope you have a good ‘un.

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  20. I’m excited for the new Sylvain Chomet film, The Illusionist, coming to a theater nowhere near me this Christmas.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0775489/

    Happy birthday, Vicki!

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  21. Jeff’s post reminded me that the Eels are playing in my town in October. That’s pretty exciting.

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  22. I am excited about…I’ll have to get back with you.

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  23. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICKI!!!! MAKE THE MOST OF IT!

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  24. I’m excited because…..

    …..Saturday, I’m finally getting my hair done. Cut and color. I look like a $2 whore with these roots.

    …..My boss is going on his 167th vacation this year and we have until after Labor Day in peace.

    …..Fall/Autumn is almost here. Although I love the out door activities summer brings. But the heat has been unbearable this year. I’m tired of sweatin’ balls every day.

    …..Halloween is just around the corner. My very favorite time of year!

    …..My sweetie and I finally decided to take a vacation and after a long debate, chose Key West. I have been there twice; he has never. I can’t wait to get him there. Wotta blast that place is.

    …..I come here every day to get a laugh and break up my miserable days in this suck-ass office.

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  25. Oh…and Happy Birthday, Vicki!! You’re still a youngin’!

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  26. I’m excited cause the man is talking about getting a Harley Davidson Night Train!! Woohoo! I grew up in a riding family and married a guy that had never even been on a 4 wheeler! So now I have him almost convinced to get a bike!

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  27. Vicki…

    Happy Birthday to you. Have yerself a giant piece of cake and, if possible, get laid. I’m just sayin’…

    Chuck…

    I feel for you, brother, but why the hell are you wearing Levis instead of shorts? Work would be a good reason, but I can’t think of any others. And if your place of work (contract or not) won’t turn the HVAC below 80, tell them for me to go fuck themselves. At this time.

    Tilly…

    Congrats on the college. Hope you have a great time. And nice job flushing the fiance down the well. He was never good enough for you.

    cashoe…

    Were TMBG playing near me, I’d be there in a heartbeat. The boys do put on quite a show.

    Gretchen…

    Can’t beat a French directer making an animated film about a French comic. In Edinburgh. At a studio named for Django Reinhardt. A lot of French stuff in there for a girl whose people invaded Poland. I do hope you get relief soon from your sinus infection. Let’s face it: you can’t speak French with a sinus infection.

    wordnerd…

    A four word comment. Poetry as usual.

    .
    There it is. Bob’s your uncle.

    jtb

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  28. In the interest of Inclusion, in this age of advanced surgery and a more open acceptance of the transgender experience, Bob might well be your aunt. Not quite my cup of tea, but if it’s Bob’s tell her to live and be well.

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  29. Bickerchick,
    Key West at the apex of hurricane season? Take a walk on the wild side. Fall in Key West is just like…July.

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  30. Thanks a bunch guys!

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  31. I’m excited about getting blow jobs.

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  32. I think having credit card vending machines is retarded. You are just asking to get your card info stolen on one of those things.

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  33. I’m excited the temperature is 83 degrees in West Central TX today.

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  34. I’m excited about getting my work laptop upgraded from a Latitude D800 to a Latitude E6500. Do the math. That’s one letter plus 5700!

    Happy Birthday Vicki and Claudia Schiffer! One in the same???

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  35. I’m excited the house I’m looking at in Cincy dropped another $5K.

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  36. Oh year, I was sitting outside last night reading a book (Last Call) drinking a beer (Boulevard Wheat) and there was a nice breeze and it was 73 deg. I’m pumped about that shit.

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  37. Happy Birthday, Vicki!

    bikerchick – I was in the Keys in March. Cold but well worth it.

    I just lost $1.75 in our vending machine today. 1 bag of Lays fell and hit the shelf. I decided a bag of Cheez Its would whack it off and both would fall. I was wrong.

    I was excited today when my manager read “MY” comment on her feedback sheet. She almost did cartwheels down the hall. They were supposed to be anonymous, but fuck it, I ‘fessed up in private!

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  38. What got me excited today? As I was waiting for an excavator to move along on my road (under construction) one of the house-fraus was straightening up stuff on her porch… And I got treated to a lovely down v-neck view of happily jiggling sweater puppies almost ready to jump free from their miniscule cloth trappings . Yeah, that put a smile on my face.

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  39. im excited….. eh fuck you. no im playing. im excited that the week is almost over and it has been in the 90′s all week instead of the 100′s. My living room ac went out but at least it is bearable. Come on fall. gotta look at the good in all. im glad this saves your comment if you mess up on the name/email. otherwise i would just get pissed and give up lol.

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  40. I’m excited about my Reds. They sucked a big dick the past two days but are nailing it today. Joey Votto is in serious running for the triple crown.
    Wooooooooooo!

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  41. I’m excited that I could afford a new tire when I really needed one.

    I’m excited that I’ll be recording another episode of my less-than-famous-but-supremely-enjoyable-to-do podcast tonight.

    I’m excited that I don’t have to spend another weekend alone.

    I’m excited that my auto insurance company’s website was merely misleading when it told me that I owed twice my regular premium.

    Take ‘em where you can get ‘em, folks :)

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  42. I’m excited to have learned that I’ve lost 23 pounds, and that I can now run a mile in 12 minutes.

    On the other hand, I’m excited because our county fair is 2 blocks from our house and we are walking there tonight to eat a bunch of shit.

    Good thing I ran this morning.

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  43. Why are boobs so fascinating to men? I’ve never understood it.

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  44. Oh, and it went from upper 90′s to mid 70′s today…that actually did get me really excited this morning.

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  45. And you never will.

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  46. I’m excited…I bought a Mayan calendar today. Fuckin’ thing is heavy though. Good thing I don’t have to carry it around for long.

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  47. Dammit, Chuck. Three laughs in 2 1/2 sentences; who the hell is writing your material? And if YOU’RE writing it, why ain’t you rich?

    jtb

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  48. Yummmmmmm-y……fair food!

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  49. Note to the young: “…why ain’t you rich?” is a phrase that came out of the great depression. If you don’t know about the GD, I can’t help you. It was typically preceeded by “If you’re so smart…” or “If it’s such a great idea…”, or similar expressions. The phrase was used so much, that it became repetition humor (RH) so that, in the appropriate situation, one could utter just the “…why ain’t you rich” part and everybody would get the joke.

    jtb

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  50. jtb,
    hang on a second…I’m thinking about what’s her names boobs.

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  51. Brittney…

    I think t-storm answered accurately and correctly. Let me just add that, in four billion years of evolution, species whose males were not interested in breasts didn’t last long and their genes didn’t make it into the collective pool. Next week: Why is there air?

    jtb

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  52. Yes, I’m aware fish don’t have breasts. The answer was either going to be two sentences or two thousand. I took a few shortcuts.

    jtb

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  53. Dammit, Chuck, now I’m thinking about them.

    jtb

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  54. @jtb,
    I am reading You Gotta Play Hurt. Best line so far:
    “$200 for the one that looks like my daughter.”
    Genius.

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  55. Tits are like the Krispy Kreme doughnuts of the body.

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  56. Great Depression? TIts?

    “It’s like a milk cow with 310 million tits.”
    – Deficit Commission co-chair Alan Simpson on Social Security

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  57. I’m so excited for the Reds I might shit myself to death. This team can really fuck with your blood pressure.

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  58. Vicki – Happy Cakeday!

    Taiwan On – I currently use an E6500 for work. You won’t be disappointed. Clear, bright, wide screen; nice and fast; it does the job for me. I have occasion to do a fair amount of large excel spreadsheets and it handles them well. Enjoy.

    Brittney- weigh to go (see what I did there?). Guys and boobs? It’s like chicks and shoes. Neither side gets the other but whatever makes you happy.

    Chuck – if the Mayans were so smart, why didn’t the foresee the Spaniards and their own doomsday?

    Excitables in no particular order:
    - she who must be feared and obeyed made a red velvet cake last week and I was most excited about that.
    - Momma (85) has been in the hospital since August 2nd and should be home next week. Even better is that in treating her infected gall bladder they have given us back our mom from 2 years ago – more alert; more energy; better moods; more alive.
    - as mentioned a few days ago, I was promoted to Manager for a larger group of PMs. It’s a good move and will help renew my drive with some new challenges (and visibility)
    - Only a month or so before hockey starts up!
    - Stephen King’s Under The Dome TV rights have been optioned – loved the book so cautiously optimistic. Pillars of the Earth should be out on dvd soon. Robin Hood will be out next month – enjoyed that one too!!!
    - I was able to make a mom’s day by thanking her daughter through her for serving in Afghanistan. God bless them all. Come home safe.
    - a fire extinguisher discharged in my trunk and I laughed until I cried at the impossible mess…and had to show complete strangers in the Costco parking lot (including some Costconians!!!)

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  59. I used my credit card to buy a Coke yesterday. My “two-nie” didn’t work and I only had 1 “loonie” and it was hot dammit!!! I wanted my pop…soda…oh, ok, mix.

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  60. Excitables…My ex-wife recently suffered a stroke, but has recovered enough to return to work this week. I’ll let AWG venture a guess as to which part of that got me most excited, lol!

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  61. I’m excited because this new song just sort of popped (pooped?) out of my head and into protools in about an hour

    http://www.audibus.com/spe/spe-home.mp3

    its rough but … I love when that stuff happens,

    -steve

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  62. What has excited me lately? Well, I just got back from a whirlwind trip with my father-in-law. First stop was The Badlands, second was Mount Rushmore, then Devil’s Tower (and surrounding area). After that we cruised down through Rocky Mountain National State Park. After spending a few hours at 13,000 feet, we proceeded to Durango, and took the railroad to Silverton. Just awesome! I saw a bear, and the train had a bar car! Then we were off to Mesa Verda, and the Four Corners. Almost 3600 miles in 8 days. The best part was the bear…and the beer!

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  63. brittany, because we don’t have any….

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  64. steve,
    well done my young friend. i been thinking i mite have to buy some new equipment and start playing again. the local towns have concerts once a week in the summer and frankly most of the bands are pathetic. think really bad bluegrass. just because we are in Appalachia doesn’t mean everyone wants to hear that.

    probably never happen…but it is something nice to think about.

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  65. Happy Birthday Vicki! Congratulations!

    I’m excited about making a lot of money this week. And that the weather is getting cooler. And that we’ll be done remodeling our house this week. And that my wife finally agreed to watch porn with me – tonight! Oh, I’ve got lots of lesbo shit picked out, believe me.

    I love reading the post and comments here. There is no other site that I actually bother to read the comments on. Well done!

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  66. What the hell is an aluminum falcon?

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  67. WB…your post from 1:36 PM… are you talking about a garden tool or are you speaking euphemistically about another type of whacker? If the latter, well played and sorry it took me so long to get it…

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  68. hot fuzz…. Just your garden variety wacker.

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  69. I went fishing on Lake Erie last weekend and didn’t drown in the 6-8 foot waves trying to get back to shore from 18 miles out. I’m excited about that.
    I’m going to the Casino in Pitt. tonight for the first time. I’m kind of excited about that I’ll let you know later.

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  70. SOS: A little FYI about the casino… We went to the steak house, Andrew’s, for dinner. Supposed to have a great view of the city. But at night you can’t see shit because of the tinted windows! The prices are ridiculous and everything is a la carte. If you don’t order an appetizer there isn’t even a bread basket, crackers, or an ice cube to suck on until your dinner arrives. Then your waiter disappears for 45 minutes. A better bang for your buck is the buffet. Kick-ass!

    We haven’t been there since they the table games arrived in July. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for ya! Just don’t forget your Surfer friends if you hit it big!! ha

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  71. What am I excited about?

    -The Buckeyes open their season next Thursday night! I can’t wait…I just love college football season. I mean, you can only stomach so much soccer (aka ‘football’) and golf. Sheesh, let’s play some REAL American football already.
    -I too, am excited by the Reds. They’re not the Big Red Machine from the 70′s, but they’re doing great. I hope they can finish strong.
    -With fall on the way, that also means hiking, leaf-lookin’ and enjoying the great outdoors instead of sitting in the basement in the A/C sweating like a fat missionary at a cannibal picnic!

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  72. SoS…When I waled outside this morning and it was about 50 degrees I instantly thought of Fall perch fishing up on Lake Erire.

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  73. I’m excited about getting the rest of the week off of work.

    I am not excited that I get the rest of the week off because I am getting a root canal.

    But I am excited about not having general tooth pain anymore.

    I am also excited at the prospect of getting some vicodine to know me the hell out for the next two days.

    Should I try to save some vidocine for my bug-out-bag.

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  74. bc thanks for the good thoughts. I think we are going to Bettis 36 for eats.
    WB I love the perch fishing as well and will be taking part as soon as the walleye shut down. You near the lake?

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  75. I’m excited about starting college tomorrow.
    I also bought a pizza with haggis on it for my dinner.

    http://www.cosmoproducts.com/pop_pizza03.html

    I am excited about eating it. ( I hope it will not make me feel too patriotic and need to eat it standing up!)

    JTB – My mum swears blind she never slept with Mr Tamson!

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  76. The red velvet cake picture looks exactly like the one on the Yoplait cup. I want it now.

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  77. Haggis pizza? Alrighty.

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  78. Brittney, yeah supposedly we’re attracted to them because the bigger they are the more food our offspring get. I don’t care though I just know I like them. Yay!!!!!! Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL sorry if i sound like a pervert.

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  79. now i feel bad for posting that.

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  80. SoS…Sort of, 2 hours to Toledo about 3 to Port Clinton which is normally where we go out of to fish around the islands. You?

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  81. Ian, is haggis an acquired taste? After googling haggis for the ingredients, it certainly would be for me!

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  82. 2 hours south. We go out of Walnut Creek and Ashtabula. I like the islands for drinking too. Put in Bay
    is a blast!

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  83. Happy Birthday, Vicki!!
    Big money, big money, Son of Sam :)

    I’m happy that WV is still green and beautiful. I dig summer and am sorry to see it starting to fade. My daily commute is between Fairmont and Morgantown and the view is georgeous.

    I’m also happy that my son is enjoying his new school. First week almost over. Hoping for the best for the rest of the year.

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  84. I am very much looking forward to the first two weekends in September.

    Labour Day brings about my annual trip to Oswego NY for Budweiser International Classic Weekend, arguably the best short track racing in the land plus all the camping, camaraderie, cheap booze and fine American women that go along with it. I’ve only missed one Classic in the last 25 years and I lost my virginity at the Oswego Speedway…this weekend means a lot to me!

    My Dad has just invited me to spend the following weekend with him at the Barrie Automotive Flea Market. This is a huge event, it takes 3 days to tour the whole site. He is shopping for parts for his 58 Chev 2-door and I’ll be looking to pick up a couple mods for my 05 Mustang. More cars, camping, camaraderie and booze.

    I am so excited, I feel like a virgin on prom night!!

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  85. Haggis? I can only imagine it being like scrapple. But on a pizza?

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  86. mudpup – more like meaty peppery oatmeal

    Brittany – It’s not a question of why, but then I would have to ask why some women are so hypersensitive about the size of their feet. Unless they look like Hobbit’s feet, of course. Hmmm! Mothers milk!!!

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  87. Sounds like a great time Kevindust. Christ I’m excited for ya. Dirt track racing is the best of the roundy rounds.
    I grew up thinking all french fries came with a light coat of dust.

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  88. Oh yeah speaking of vending machines, looks like we’re getting all new ones. They keep bringing them through the door. A card option would be nice. sorry about my previous post.

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  89. SoS, Kevindust…I prefer asphalt. I live about 30 minutes from Eldora, getting hit with dirt clods takes some of the fun out of it. Just my opinion, don’t want to fan any flames, I’ve seen people about come to blows arguing about dirt versus asphalt.

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  90. I like tits and women with clubbed feet. I wish I could find a good Catholic woman to bang this weekend. :)

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  91. @Valentin
    You do read the comments here, right? I have no idea why you would feel the need to apologize for anything. Men like boobs. I know I do. I also like little round butts and shapely calf muscles.

    The whole boob thing is probably more complex than we realize (or want to admit). But this isn’t Psychology Today.

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  92. Valentin… if you stay about half a mile this side of Jason, t-storm, icy66, dto, WB, CaDude, Shiny Rod and Chuck… not to mention Brittney and Biker Chick (or pretty much almost everyone on here) , you’re still being too safe. As it is, you’re pretty much the next state over… I wouldn’t worry about it.

    Repeat after me: “I apologize for nothing”.

    This reminds me of work. My now former boss lady would vent to me and let loose with the occasional fuck. And then apologize to ME, ME of all people, for swearing. Too funny. Frankly I’m appalled at all the swearing that goes on in today’s workplace. I’m even more appalled that I do most of it.

    I love a good healthy looking woman who is nicely proportioned (as probably everybody does – the key words? healthy and proportioned). anything more than a handful or a mouthful typically is a waste.

    A sure sign that I’ve become a miserable old fuck? I’m a lot put off by “too much” cleavage in the office (yes, yes I know but there IS something such as too much). It would be like me walking around with my zipper undone and no underwear just to give the ladies a little peak of the cleavage formed on other side of the beast and each of the twins. A little something for the ladies.

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  93. “let loose with the occasional fuck” LOL… what i meant was that she would say the word “fuck”. Although, maybe it would have helped her with her stress levels… :)

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  94. I am excited that they have come out with a poor persons version of the kindle. $139.00 and its wifi instead of 3G. Jeff! Now is the time to go ahead and get one!! I am finally giving in to the temptation.

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  95. Valentine: Listen to hot fuzz. You don’t have t apologize for anything. Especially here! I, for one, am not offended in the least…..Why..at this moment as I toss my blonde hair off my D-cups I think to myself….YAY BOOBIES!!!!!!

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  96. @Carla,
    I just can’t do the Kindle thing. I enjoy holding a book when I read. Maybe I am just a Luddite when it comes to reading. I enjoy the library too…I like watching the weirdos I often see there. Maybe I am one of them as I get some strange looks lately.
    Of course, if I knew someone that had one I could check it out and maybe fall in love with a Kindle. Maybe if Amazon would throw in a few free books…

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  97. I’m surprised nobody has said, “Valentin? You’re apologizing for that post? Go fuck yourself.”
    Of course, I wouldn’t be saying anything like that. Right, Britney?
    BTW, Britney–are your tits getting smaller ’cause you’ve lost 23 lbs? Jason wants to know. And he wants a video to prove it, either way.

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  98. *Breaking News* I’m excited that I just got asked to golf tonight. There is barely a cloud in the sky and it’s 75 degrees, no humidity, relatively speaking. This also gets me out of weed wacking tonight. Oh wait, the way I play golf, there will be plenty of wacking out of the weeds.

    I love saying (typing) wacking.

    Yay for boobies!!

    [Reply]

  99. And Valentin, when bikerchick says that,keep in mind she’s wearing some tight, ass-enhancing jeans and a pair of red fuck me pumps…

    Yay boobies!!!

    (can I say I like this topic a bit more than throwing rocks at cars?)

    [Reply]

  100. Actually, no! Not that my boyfriend can tell anyway…oh snap!

    Woman with clubbed feet? Weird. Hobbit feet? Weird. Hobbits are sooo gay.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QAlt4Sfl7Q

    [Reply]

  101. “I’m a lot put off by “too much” cleavage in the office (yes, yes I know but there IS something such as too much).”

    Fuck you, Hot; you’re way out of line here. And if you can’t figure out what to do with “more than a handful” we’ll have to send you back to man-school…Jeez, in management for a fuckin’ week and you’ve lost all perspective.

    No, I don’t know how to make those little smiley faces; why do you ask?

    To Sir with Love…

    jtb
    OB12

    [Reply]

  102. As for the QOD; I get pretty excited about sounding pissed off. Life is way too short to be pissed for all that long, even if you discount for loonies and toonies.

    Yeah, we”ve sunk so far our currency is barely worth a loonie.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  103. Brittney…

    I can’t believe how not my business this is, but did I understand your boyfriend measures your breasts by “snapping” them? Why is he measuring your breasts as all? Has the whole world gone mad? Canada doesn’t like breasts and Illinois measures them. God help us.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  104. In the office, sure, unless you work at Hooters corporate.

    I was always told it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.

    I contend that it depends on who’s doing the pissing. Whitney Cummings or Laura Keitlinger can piss on me any day.

    [Reply]

  105. @jtb…LOL. Sure why not.

    @T storm – At the Hooters near us, they’ve had the same manager for about 10 years. He’s really tall, which is perfect for him, for the view that is.

    [Reply]

  106. “I was always told it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.”

    Yeah, which is a problem Mr. t. Americans be acting like those are the only two states of being. They aren’t.

    And for cripin’ out loud, stop siding with Nanook about smaller breasts. Fuck smaller breasts. Try it, it’s difficult.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  107. Well sometimes you slam your dick in a car door, is that what you mean?

    [Reply]

  108. From a company email at 9:55 CST today:

    The issue causing the phone outage in (corporate head quarters) has been resolved. If you continue to have issues, please call the (corporate head quarters) Helpdesk at 630-***-****.

    Does this make anyone else’s head explode?

    [Reply]

  109. Well, I used to. For some reason, they’re making car doors smaller than in the old days. But if I’m going to talk about my private parts and tribulations I’m damn well gonna do so with a woman, preferably from Canadia, where size doesn’t mean much according to Hot. No offence Mr t.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  110. t-storm…

    Why the hell are you living in a place that doesn’t use Daylight Time? Where the hell are you? Iran? Texas?

    jtb

    [Reply]

  111. Daylight time? CST – Central Standard Time. The timezone that occupies the likes of Illinois, Missouri, and my half acre of Oklahoma.

    [Reply]

  112. First of all, breast is not plural, unless you are talking in the general sense. Boobs are plural. 2 boobs = 1 breast.

    Second, boobs are overrated. I have boobs, they are just on the teensy side.

    I don’t have that other thing that women have that men want.

    [Reply]

  113. Many points were made. Please note which worm is the worthy bait…….- To make a smiley face do a colon followed by a round right bracket
    :)
    It also works with semi colons and I believe left brackets
    ;)
    :{

    Unless of course colon is not plural unless you’re talking in the general sense. Is that like the beer vs. beers? “me ‘n my buddy Scooter had 14 beers” vs “Scoots ‘n me, put down about 14 beer, eh”.

    BTW – I apologize for nothing.

    P.S. – She who must be feared and obeyed is a D cup – hubba hubba….and she’s not proportional if you know what I mean and I’m not complaining

    NB. . “I’m a lot put off by” as a phrase has no place in the English language. I would rather swear like a Cheese fucker than mangle syntax like that.

    Breaking News – I still apologize for nothing!

    [Reply]

  114. :( the correct bracket would have helped (shifted 9)

    [Reply]

  115. Taiwan on – the other thing of which you speak… Money?

    [Reply]

  116. “Arizona (with the exception of the Navajo Nation) and Hawaii and the territories of Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, Guam, and American Samoa are the only places in the U.S. that do not observe DST but instead stay on “standard time” all year long.”

    Are you part of the Navajo Nation? Are you in a time vortex? My source could be wrong, but it looks like you should be on CDT. Have you been missing appointments lately?

    jtb

    [Reply]

  117. I’m not sure you need to save daylight during the summer when we have so much of it… unless of course you’re saving it up NOW to use during the long nights during the winter.

    Saskatchewan – it’s Cree for Potash – doesn’t flip to DST either. The bastards. It really buggers up people that live in a city right on the border with Alberta (drawing a blank on the name right now). If they cross the street their internal clock goes haywire from the imbalance.

    [Reply]

  118. LLoydminster, alta and Sask… I know no one cares but I had to purge the buffer

    [Reply]

  119. Dear Cheese Fucker,

    Thanks for the smiley face tutorial. Just making a wild guess, right or wrong about breast size, I assume you know what time zone you’re in.

    I’m trying to remember the names of the Canadian time zones. Let’s see… Maritime, Rocky, Hockey, Tim Horton, and Youkon Jack?

    In any case, I think all of Canadia is on Daylight Time, with the possible exception of Newfoundland, which runs about 20 minutes behind. I might have that wrong.

    best…

    jtb

    [Reply]

  120. 100% correct. I’m impressed. Newfoundland was the last province to join our little empire. 1949, the year Newfoundland took the rest of Canada under her wing.

    Like Homer says (sorta) “gotta love Canada all quiet and tucked there under Mexico”… I’m probably way off. This is me really really caring. You’re not convinced. sigh

    [Reply]

  121. Yeah, I guess I once lost track of the moon
    Just a little bit south of Saskatoon

    [Reply]

  122. Hey, young man.

    I’ll stand on guard for Canada anytime.

    Even the Maritimes

    jtb

    [Reply]

  123. Ah, fair enough. I am generally at least half an hour late for everything, though. Except for my period, that bitch is like a motherfuckin’ swiss watch.

    [Reply]

  124. Either JTB has switched up his back pain meds or someone is impersonating him. The latter, for the record, is a lousy thing to do.

    Also for the record, my fun bags are in the B- range. I got around this alleged problem simply by marrying a man with small hands. Yay small-handed men! But thanks for dredging up all my teenage insecurities, commentators. Totally awesome.

    [Reply]

  125. Like BK commercial small hands? Like you know he doesn’t have cancer small hands?

    [Reply]

  126. BK. But a little less freaky-deaky.

    [Reply]

  127. I wondered why that pill was purple.

    Just to be clear, which seems a strange thing to be, the question wasn’t whether smaller than D-cup breasts were beautiful. They clearly are. The question was whether breasts could be too big at work. I know that seems like a funny question, but Mr. Hot made the assertion, not me.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  128. And the forces of corporate evil that make girls and women worry about their bodytypes should go straight to hell.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  129. I suppose if they’re big enough to get caught up in machinery, then they’re probably too big for that particular job.

    [Reply]

  130. Someone once said that the larger a girl’s breasts, the lower her I.Q. When in actuality, the larger her breasts, the lower men’s I.Q. That someone was right.

    Gretchen – would it help if I said that regardless of the size, if you were to flash me the ta-taas, you’d have my undivided attention.

    [Reply]

  131. Anyway, I take my meds at night. THAT is the crazy me. This is just me.

    Thank God t-storm isn’t living in Arizona without knowing it.

    I have small hands. I can’t even shop for gloves in the boys’ department. I have to sneak over to Toddlers, and if that doesn’t make me feel creepy, ain’t nothing in the USA or Canada that will.

    And don’t tell me you expected to get a first class mind AND C-cups as well. You’re beautiful just the way you look tonight.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  132. Thanks guys. At least there’s always the fantastic ass to fall back on….sometimes literally. ;)

    [Reply]

  133. Nice joke. Asserting that there’s a company left in America that still has machinery. I assume you meant China or Brazil.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  134. It’s not the prize inside…it’s the way it’s packaged. Cleavage is beautiful. Cleavage that is distracting makes my pee pee feel funny and I’m not sure that is what the ladies want (in the office). If I walk around with a traffic cone in my pants is that ok with the ladies? Or the guys for that matter? (dude, lose the boner dude)

    [Reply]

  135. And on that note, me and my palm pilots are heading over to Five Guys for a sympathy burger. And that’s something to be excited about! Toodles.

    [Reply]

  136. I will salute your flag, but I will not talk about your pee pee. The flag, but not the flagpole.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  137. Have a great burger and night Brilliant Beautiful one.

    Giovanni Baskettini – you too, have a good night.

    StormDawg – have a happy period.

    [Reply]

  138. g’day.

    [Reply]

  139. good lord you guys give me heartburn sometimes. who gives a crap about canada anyway? i haven’t cared since the early 70′s when it looked like i might have to hop a Trailways to Montreal. But it all worked out when i drew a very high lottery number. i mean, i couldnt see me flushing a bunch of fender-heads out of a hole in the ground in some sweltering jungle. Canada? Celine Dion? I rest my case.

    [Reply]

  140. 54’40 or fight! Wait….5’40 of that is in Canada? Forget it let’s go to Panama.

    [Reply]

  141. Man, that Criss Angel is really getting desperate.

    Link

    [Reply]

  142. Gawd! Bikerchick made me have a crotch seizure. Not my fault. Bewbs are like having an ass in the front. Lets me look at your face and ass at the same time. What’s wrong with that? Nothing!

    [Reply]

  143. just signing in on the pro-boob petition.

    [Reply]

  144. You ever notice that when you advertise on craigsllist for someone to come over and shove GI Joes up your ass only the weirdos respond?

    [Reply]

  145. I leave you fucking assholes alone long enough to play nine holes of golf (poorly) and the site comes off the rails.

    Brittney …if hobbits are gaaay (not that there is anything wrong with that) why did Sam hook up with such a fucking hot ass halfling? I’d love to run that curly headed hobbit through the round door.

    Yay for boobies!

    Glad to hear you take your meds at night jtb, I thought you fell off the wagon…and hit your head!

    I’ll have to re-read all this tomorrow and hope sobriety clears it up.

    [Reply]

  146. @Kevindust, Sos, and WB…Hey, if I knew they allowed racing fans here, I wouldn’t have kept silent on the subject for so long!

    Kevindust, Oswego is probably the one track I haven’t been to that is on my “must see” list. I used to work with a guy here in Nome, Alaska who used to pit for Joe Gosek.

    My one and only race I got to see this year was at Raceway 7 in Conneaut. Got to see three heat races before the skies opened up with Noah’s Ark type, Biblical proportions of rain.

    [Reply]

  147. It was indeed a tasty pizza. The amount of Haggis was just right and it wasn’t too peppery.
    The tomato sauce was excellent and the base was thin and light. There could have been a bit more cheese though.
    8/10

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  148. Seems like only yesterday
    I left my mind behind
    Down in the Gypsy Café
    With a friend of a friend of mine
    She sat with a baby heavy on her knee
    And spoke of life most free from slavery
    With eyes that showed no trace of misery
    A phrase in connection first with she I heard
    That love is just a four letter word

    [Reply]

  149. 0440 in the Great Pacific Northwest, sixty with a light breeze. This is Rock-a-Day Johnny in my FM voice. Just one more verse from the poet of a generation.

    Black crows in the meadow
    Across a broad highway
    Black crows in the meadow
    Across a broad highway
    Y’know it’s funny, honey
    But I just don’t feel much like a
    Scarecrow today

    [Reply]

  150. clintcurtis& wb I have a friend who lives near Eldora. I would like to go see the Kings Royal sometime that is on the bucket list along with the mile at Saracuse. I used to like Nascar but it died with Dale Earnhart. Now it’s NHRA drag racing. That shit pounds your chest and makes your eyes burn..I love it!

    [Reply]

  151. SOS: Any luck at the casino?? $$$$$$$$

    [Reply]

  152. I’d love to run that curly headed hobbit through the round door.

    WB – that’s the greatest euphemism EVER!!!

    And did I mention I love boobies? Doesn’t matter what size. And I think we need all the female surf reporters to submit pictures of their naked breasts, purely as evidence to prove my theory that all female surf reporters have great tits.

    [Reply]

  153. ^^^ I second that motion!…or emotion. Whatever.

    [Reply]

  154. bikerchick going tonight. My neice is in from Boston and wants to go along.(still have fingers crossed come on payday!)

    [Reply]

  155. Chuck’s right – fuck Canada

    Chuck I’m writing this just between you and me so no-one else read ok? ok good. Buddy, you almost gave away the whole deal. What were you thinking. If people started to follow the money like they do on Fox news the whole gig would be up. You know I’m just softening up the reporters here for when Canada takes over and makes the USA the 11th province. They wanted to just make y’all the 4th territory but our King Timothy Horton wouldn’t allow that.

    But if someone follows the money, we’re in a shit load of trouble. Follow the money.
    - Jeff did a whole bit on the new Krispy Kreme store opening
    - they have Krispy Kreme up here in the C-place but the number one donut place is named after our King
    - there aren’t many of our Tim Horton’s in the USA yet but we have a few
    - we all know these are sleeper cells for project Maple Syrup
    - there’s a sleeper cell/Tim Horton’s Donuts in, oh, I don’t know… maybe FREDRICKSBURG!!!!!
    - Fredricksburg is 3.5 miles from (wait for it)…….BELPRE!!!!

    Chuck, I know you were trying to distract everyone away from the plan but since Celine is the main spy working out of Vegas…where all the C-word comedians use as the LZ….that was a risky gamble.

    We almost screwed up Kevindust’s mission to bugger with motor sports. His sortee is only a few weekends away and he’s already convinced 3 or 4 reporters that it’s a harmless “vacation” and they’re encouraging him along. We all know it starts here and before long? Nascar.. IRL…Geez he’s so close it’s too dangerous to talk about.

    Good work though – I think we closed the book on fucking Cana… the C-place…. for now.

    Cheers :)

    Hey everyone, thanks for your patience, please resume reading .. nothing to see here…. move along…

    [Reply]

  156. Clint…

    Sorry to hear about your wife. It must have been difficult for you to keep the household going and keep working while she was getting better. Please pass on to her my wishes for a speedy and full recovery. Your family will be in my thoughts.

    john

    [Reply]

  157. I saw one weekend of Nascar racing at Bristol in Michigan back in the late 80′s. It was a freaking blast… it’s hard to describe the sound even one car on the track makes never mind 30 or 40. If you walk slowly to your seat, you can experience more of the feeling with only the fence to separate you from fiery death – awesome. Bubba that Marshal insisted I “move my fat ass”.. He did laugh though when I said my ass has to be that big to counter balance the fricken monster dick up front…

    We brought one cooler each for the 7 of us that went – a bit of overkill but what a great atmosphere. Only downside, I puked up my colon and sun burnt the top of my ears to a crisp – we were so high up in the stands that we were significantly closer to the sun.- no spf is effective at that orbit.

    I made some money at a local track (in addition to turning tricks behind the portable toilets of course) when a bunch of gentlemen were making bets on who of the three of us would make it the furthest without drunkenly dropping our load of fire wood. My two buddies were more like hobbits at the time compared to me as a Yeti. I made a deal that the winner would get 6 free beers (2 for each of our front pockets). They said beer was too valuable but they could give $20 to the winner as an incentive. Turns out it’s a good thing I know first aid as the hobbits both went ass over tea kettle during the “compe-tit-ion”. Nothing like drunken pain to make me laugh my ass off.

    heh – I said “tit”

    Only downside again was this time I almost barfed up my sphincter (holy shit I spelled that right the first try). And it was a road track so I could only see one corner…. which actually was good since I could use the down time for scoping out the drunk girl fans… ah to be early 20′s again.

    [Reply]

  158. Kevindust – Barrie Speedway is in the area you’re going to be for the automotive flea market.

    http://www.barriespeedway.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=47&Itemid=126

    [Reply]

  159. Check out the Mt Dooms on Arewin. The hobbits must have been gay to not have talked about her when they were around the fire or while they were walking… and walking and walking…

    [Reply]

  160. and here’s the link… d’uh

    http://daveia.tripod.com/images/Liv/mccools/mccools006.jpg

    [Reply]

  161. Speaking of big boobs…. check out the bunker cam!!! Hubba hubba.

    [Reply]

  162. hot fuzz – They didn’t want Steven Tyler showing up. He might have been confused with Sméagol and end up tossing him into the volcano instead. My precious boobs!!!

    [Reply]

  163. overheard today at the bank drive-thru:
    “It’s people like you that make people like me want to kick ass in the middle of this fucking bank drive thru.”

    It was awesome! some dweeb cut in front of some (hot) man. The hottie jumped out to tell him about it and the dumbass denied it. He was called a ‘punk ass’ then got the real ass-chewing. Loved it!

    [Reply]

  164. hot fuzz…Bristol in Michigan? You must mean Michigan International Speedway in Brooklyn, MI. But your right about two things, when the cars come down the front stretch at 200 mph plus, it is an awesome sight and sound, and yes Bubba doesn’t appreciate you dilly dallying next to the fence. You have to time it just right so you catch the pack on your way to the restroom.

    Random thoughts…

    Drag Racing…not really a big fan but I did go to an IHRA event in Norwalk, OH years ago because a friend insisted I would not believe how fucking loud top fuelers are…unbelievable!! You can get really close to the cars at the start line at Norwalk and when they took off the first time I swear the sound wave that they let out moved me six feet back, or I jumped that far back I’m not sure which. And the fan access to the drivers is unreal, you just mosey about the pits and watch teams tear apart motors, drivers come out and sign stuff in between races. Not anything like Nascar.

    I hated Dale Earnhardt with a passion. Funny thing though, after he passed I realized he was one of my favorite things about the sport and my passion for the sport died that day also.

    Arwen.

    All ya’ll go fuck yourselves and have a marvelous weekend, the weather here in midwestern Ohio is supposed to be fabulous this weekend. Also first weekend of High School football!

    [Reply]

  165. WB correct on both corrections. I’m the much better for it. Thank you sir.

    [Reply]

  166. Oh yeah hot fuzz the bunker cam reminds me of The Man Show. Remember girls jumping on trampolines?

    [Reply]

  167. Girls jumping on trampolines! Some of the most brilliant TV ever produced! Hard to believe they never won an Emmy.

    [Reply]

  168. I had this conversation while sitting with my friend jacob at the bar last night.

    Drunk Guy: What do you guys do?
    T-Storm: I fix airplanes and he works at a pharmacy.
    Drunk Guy: Do you guys live in Oklahoma City?
    T-Storm: Yes.
    Drunk Guy: So what do you guys do?

    I was expecting Alan Funt to pop out and give me a wedgie.

    [Reply]

  169. Hot fuzz, my dad and I will be attending the NASCAR Canadian Tire Series race at Barrie Speedway on the Saturday night. The track is walking distance from where we are camping…so both of us are guaranteed to be enjoying some adult beverages. I am very excited for the whole weekend.

    I actually ran King of the Hill at Barrie Speedway in 1999. KotH was an event held during intermission. Using your street car: standing start, one lap side by side with a competitor, process of elimination, last car remaining wins. Well, my street car at the time was a ’95 Mustang GT 5.0 with a supercharger, headers, Eibach springs, polyeurothane bushings, a 3.73 gear and top of the line Bridgestone PP S-02 tires. It was my first time at the track but after watching a few races, I quickly realized that the high groove was the fastest. When it came time for KotH, they used a coin toss before each race to determine who got to pick the starting position, inside or outside lane. Well, I loss the first coin toss but my competitor picked the inside lane. We were pretty even through turns 1&2 but I smoked him down the back stretch and cleaned his clock through 3&4 to take the win. I got to sit out the second round because there was an odd number of cars and I had the fastest time. For the finale, I won the coin toss and picked the outside lane…the first and only one to do so that night…the track guy was all “are you sure?” Oh yeah, I was sure! I had this round won before we even got to turn one! Great times, I still have the trophy to prove it.

    As for the asphalt vs. dirt arguement, I love both.

    “Dirt is for racin’, asphalt is for gettin’ there.”
    “Asphalt is for racin’, dirt is for plantin’ corn.”

    [Reply]

  170. Kevindust,
    That’s pretty cool. From what it sounds like nobody caught on to your secret, you’d think someone would have been all waiiiiiit a minute.

    [Reply]

  171. I love absinthe so much.

    Kevindust’s story is also pretty badass.

    Now, if I were a begger on the street none of you knew (which none of you do) and I had a sign that said

    “I need money for drudgereport website advertisment space… and booze”

    would any of your through me some change and a bottle of water?

    [Reply]

  172. Mild mannered civil servant by day; hot rodding kick ass son of a bitch when the flag drops. Sounds like a fun weekend, brother.

    I-66 of course I would. I always give. And it always more than comes back. Sometimes I get services in return….sometimes not. My fave is a 70 yr old downtown named Rosie. You ain’t had lovin’ until you had a gummin’ from Rosie.

    Kevindust, with any luck she’ll be working the campgrounds that weekend. :)

    [Reply]

  173. Thanks guys, and please call me Kevin.

    Earlier in that summer (’99) I ran four similar events at my home track, Capital City Speedway. At CCS, it was alone on the track, standing start, two lap race against the clock with the fastest time winning. I won them all, including defeating a guy who came up from Toronto in his ‘Vette…man was he pissed that some kid in a Mustang beat him!

    I’ll never forget coming out of turn 2 at CCS under full throttle, drifting 18 inches away from the wall, lifting for a 1/2 second to get the car straight then planting it again…in my street car. Some local racers still remember it. Ahhh, youth…I probably wouldn’t repeat it today.

    So, when we got to KotH at Barrie at the end of the summer, my drunken friends made a point of going up to the announcer to let him know that this undefeated kid from Ottawa was going to wipe the locals off their own track. Here I am sitting in my car waiting to race and I can hear the announcer talking smack about me…but of course I shut him up real good.

    I never managed to get Smoking Fish racecar v2.0 ready this year, I bought my first house in the spring and have had other priorities. However, I hope to complete the car this winter and get back on the track in 2011. Stock car racing is (to me) the most fun you can have with your underwear on.

    [Reply]

  174. You hit that wall you’ll need new underwear.

    Not sure if any of you know anything about astronomy or orbits and shit but this is a fun website where you can fuck around with up to 4 “planets” and see how they’d interact.
    I did this shit in grad school so I love it. It’s pretty damn amazing that this solar system even exists.

    http://phet.colorado.edu/sims/my-solar-system/my-solar-system_en.html

    [Reply]

  175. Any apparent boobies at work are welcome; I work in a male-dominated industry, so I won’t be picky. But if I were to be picky, I’d go for the A or B. Just sayin’ (to repeat an irritating phrase).

    Traffic cone? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsofwhCA1sw

    As for the bucket list, I’d rather do it than see it. The nearest ‘motor speedway’ to me is Summit Point WV, and it’s at least a 90 minute drive. I’d like to go for a track day some time. Also want to ski Hawaii.
    .

    [Reply]

  176. Chuck, that video is so damn hilarious.

    [Reply]

  177. Oh yeah… I like haggis, and I like pizza. Maybe not in the same bite.

    Kevin, that’s some cool stuff… saw it after I posted. Steering with the throttle is awesome.
    .

    [Reply]

  178. Oh, I’ve since hit that wall a few times! Thankfully the street car was safely in the parking lot and the racecar took the beating….at least until it’s untimely demise. It’s not so bad when you’re straped into a race seat and you have a roll cage around you. Stock car racing is a contact sport!

    [Reply]

  179. t-storm,
    I don’t know where I ended up this weekend, but I remember this conversation:

    Man 1: He’s the best. He know’s his shit.
    Man 2: He’s getting old. Not many people respect him.
    Man 1: Shit! That mother fucker knows his puke!

    Old Judge man takes the cup and smells it, then he lifts it to his lips, and then he says, “These olives were added after the fact. No score!” And everyone clapped.

    Man 1: See? He knows his puke. Shit don’t get by his old ass.
    Man 2: Maybe. Most could tell that those olives were too fresh to be puke.
    Man 1: Whatever!

    Then the old man took another plastic cup and lifted it to his mouth. He hesitated and then he said, “This corn isn’t puke! They added it later on! No score!”

    Man 1: See?
    Man 2: Fuckin’ A. Gramps knows his puke!

    And all the tits and asses rushed him for an autograph. “You’ll never know how many tits I’ve signed” he said with a smirk as he wrote across another A-cup teen. And she laughed. And we all laughed. And all was good. The puke king had proven himself again. They don’t call him the king for nuffin.

    The End. Go Fuck Yourselves.

    [Reply]

  180. T-storm you might enjoy..

    http://thedailywh.at/post/1018028317/lights-out-every-asteroid-discovered-in-our-solar#disqus_thread

    Just stumbled across while surfing…

    [Reply]

  181. hot fuzz,
    Weren’t nuffin there. Please correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t want to miss out on anything.

    [Reply]

  182. Haggis? Yall don’t have to eat that shit anymore. A stomach full of shit-pipes and whatnot? To put it on a pizza is blasphemy! Stop it, for fuck sake!

    [Reply]

  183. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_d-gs0WoUw
    That might work better. Fast forward to the two minute mark. Hint, we’re the 3rd dot from the center.

    What you’re looking at is a visual of all the meteors and how close they’ve come to This Island Earth. It sorta tied in to what T-Storm posted about near collisions…and will probably prove the Mayans right after all in a year or two… oh well… happy days…

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  184. Kevin!!! Holy shit I found a picture of Rosie!!!
    http://www.break.com/pictures/old-women-wisdom

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  185. O.K. guys you win.

    Haggis has had its day on this site.

    Lets ‘put it to bed’ with a big whisky kiss.
    Nevermore shall we speak of this!

    I’m off to blow up balloons and get that ‘tight cheeked’ feeling. It my son’s fifth birthday party, so total mayhem is about to hit a house in Errol for two hours today!

    Have a great weekend, whatever you’re up to.
    Have a good weekend guys

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  186. You know we were just ragging on you about the haggis. No offense meant. Hope you have a great weekend.

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  187. Gretchen, Brittney, and other women Reporters & Lurkers…

    On Thursday evening I posted several tasteless, tactless comments that violate my own standards of behavior and discourse. This is an apology for those rude, insensitve comments.

    1) I used the word “fuck” as a verb, meaning “to copulate” rather than as a contextual obscenity. I consider this usage degrading and insensitive to women; it is outside the standards I have set for myself. I apologize for doing that; the context in which I used the word was, in itself, insensitive and sexist, which takes me to…

    2) I said and implied that the size of a woman’s breasts affected her allure and men’s response to her. First, I have no business talking about women’s breasts except in the abstract, as a comment about our culture. Second, it just isn’t true. A woman’s allure is about who she is, not what size her bra is. I played into the very cultural, sexist stereotypes I deplore just to get a quick laugh. That was wrong, and I apologize.

    3) After Gretchen rightly said the large breast discussion was troubling to her (I know she made a joke out of it, but at the core of her comment there was concern), I immediately laid the blame on Hot instead of taking responsibility myself. So I violated my own standards, then disingenuously denied doing so. Gretchen even noted that the comments from me sounded like they were coming from someone else. I apologize for not taking responsibility for my own insulting bad taste. Gretchen even tried to give me an out by sugesting that I might be flying on pain meds. Not so. My back med intake is way down in anticipation for what I hope will be my last surgery, a cementing together of my tri-fractured sacrum next Thursday.

    Standards of behavior and discourse are like faces. No two are the same. Other reporters can say whatever they please about the matters I’m discussing; it’s not my business to judge them. I know I have been guilty in the past of doing so and I intend to bring that to a screeching halt.

    I promised my Dad before he died that I would live the remainder of my life striving to be the gentleman he was, I also promised myself. I’m very sorry that I deviated from my own standards of gentlemanly behavior.

    I’m not a paragon. I’ve screwed up many times, and I will screw up again. But I will try very hard to do better.

    I have a high level of respect and affection for the women Reporters on this site. That level wasn’t reflected in my comments of Thursday evening. For that I reiterate: I apologize, hope you will accept my apology, and I will strive to do much better in the future.

    Sincerely…

    John

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  188. jtb…I won’t make assumptions about how others took your comments. I will say that your heartfelt apology, in my opinion, outlines the intrinsic wealth surrounding the WVSR comments. We may all get out of line occasionally but we also have the ability to recognize our faults and…when appropriate…mock ourselves for them.

    “I’m not a paragon. I’ve screwed up many times, and I will screw up again. But I will try very hard to do better.”

    Brilliantly said, my anonymous internet friend. I raise a glass of Canadian lager in your honour.

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  189. Thanks, JTB. Apology accepted. We’ll just chalk it up to an “off night”. Everyone has one of those once in awhile.

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  190. John, for me to say anything at this point risks diluting your thoughts. I will say however that your anguish saddens me as it appears to be self imposed. Please stay the course; remain strong in spirit; and trust your online friends.

    Good health and spirits, today, Thursday, and as you recover.

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  191. And it is no surprise that Gretchen has replied so graciously and unreservedly. I shall add “classy” to the qualities list that includes “brilliant”.

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  192. What a suck-up.

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  193. Me?

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  194. no

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  195. Thanks, Hot Fuzz. You’re too kind.

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  196. Kevin…your racing stories reminded of one of my. Flashback to the early 90′s, a good friend of mine ran an e-mod at a local track (shadybowl speedway). We went to track for a tune and test on Wednesday night. When we were done with that my friend let me run a couple of laps in his race car. It’s a 3/10 oval and if I remember right 15.5 seconds would put you on the pole. I felt like I was hauling ass but couldn’t turn a lap faster than 28 seconds. I looked so slow a guy watching swore he could have beat me with my 94 lumina that was in the infield but the track Rep wouldn’t let him take it on the track tank goodness. In my defence, I had no idea what I was doing and there was no way I was tearing up my buddies car. It was a blast, I don’t care how bad I looked.

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  197. The previous comment was painfully typed on my Droid. I apologize for nothing. (typos)

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  198. This is late and there’s a new update so probably nobody will read this, but most of the big lusts and crushes of my life just happened to be for smaller breasted women.

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  199. I think the most appropriate response at this point comes from Jay and Silent Bob:

    Jay: All these assholes on the internet are calling us names because of this stupid fucking movie.
    Banky: That’s what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously. Stopping the flick isn’t gonna stop that.
    Jay: This isn’t fair. We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin’, we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker.

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  200. 200!!!
    How many times does one get a chance to say THAT?

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Thanks for stopping by! My name is Jeff Kay, I was born while JFK was president, and it's all very embarrassing and corny. Today I'm a suburban husband and father, who is sometimes accused of being a bit tightly-wound. The West Virginia Surf Report! is my creative outlet, and insurance policy against completely losing my shit. I hope you'll stick around and participate in the lively community of geniuses and curmudgeons who hang out here every day. I love a full 87% of them! And while you're at it, please follow me at Twitter and Facebook.

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