I took the older Secret to the middle school on Saturday, and allowed him to drive my car around the parking lots there. He turned fifteen a few weeks ago and is suddenly interested in driving. Go figure.
But he did really well… surprisingly well. I was braced for a few close calls, and the possibility of my Camry ending up in the fishing pond. But he drove at least as well as many of the shitsacks out on the open road. We took a few corners a little too fast, but other than that… amazingly well-done.
He drove around the main parking lot, took it down a short road to the secondary lot, and even went behind the school where he was required to perform a three-point turnaround. He drove like a semi-pro, and I’m just as surprised as anyone.
I can remember going out with my parents (mostly my mother, because my dad didn’t have the “patience”) and almost crashing into things. One incident, in particular, is burned into my psyche. You know, on account of all the screaming and hysterics that resulted.
Here’s where it happened, at the corner of 17th Street and Fletcher Avenue, in Dunbar. I was making a left turn, and you can see that people park along Fletcher, on the left side of the street.
Well, I turned, and… CONTINUED to turn. I didn’t do a very good job of performing the necessary straightening maneuver, after-the-fact. Cars were parked all along that block, and I came within an ass hair of ripping out the entire driver’s side of a diarrhea-green AMC Matador, or whatever.
And my mom didn’t stop hollering until sometime the next day. Shit. I was already pretty nervous, navigating those narrow streets, and that episode didn’t help to boost my confidence. Thirty years later, I still get sweaty palms thinking about it.
Oh well. At least I didn’t crash the driver’s ed car through a chain link fence, like some girl from my high school did. Wotta classic.
Of course, I wasn’t a very responsible driver, once I finally received my license. In fact, I’m genuinely surprised something terrible didn’t happen. There’s no need to go into all the details… but let’s just say the ladies from MADD would NOT be amused. Wow! Warm 8-packs of Stroh’s… April Wine on cassette… full and absolute dipshittery… How I made it through unscathed is a mystery that will never be solved.
Needless to say, many of my classmates weren’t so lucky, and crashed their cars in spectacular fashion. But it never happened to me, thankfully.
And I’d like to make that the Question of the Day. In the comments section below, please tell us about the memorable car crashes from your high school days. Yours, if applicable, or the crashes of others. I’m interested mostly in the funny ones, when some drunken douche drove his truck into a lake or whatever. But, you can tell us about the tragic stuff too, if you want.
And I’ll be back tomorrow, my friends.
Have a great day!