The Dust Bowl, Boredom, and Baseball Tears
I cleaned my office (the Bunker) over the weekend, and it took all day Saturday and part of Sunday. And yes, it’s a former walk-in closet, probably 8ft x 8ft. What of it?
It’s a magnet for crapola, you see. I don’t fully understand how it keeps happening, but stuff just piles up in here and gets to the point where I eventually say fukkit. Then it goes for three or more months in fukkit-mode, and everything spirals downward in a shameful and disgusting manner.
Toney, of course, won’t set foot in here. It’s too distressing for her, so it’s all up to me.
And the dust! Where does it come from? What is the source of dust? It’s not like we’re living in 1934 Oklahoma up here. Heck, we haven’t even had our windows open since early September. How is it generated? Seriously.
As my grandmother would say, “You could just scoop it up!” The oldest Secret was in the next room, killing Russians on PS3, and launched into a sneezing jag that lasted for 45 minutes, after I got everything stirred-up. And that’s not an exaggeration.
But the Bunker is now a thing of beauty. Everything’s clean and in its place. And it feels like the “room” is HUGE. I took a bulging trash bag to the cans in the garage, and put a ridiculous amount of stuff in the basement.
And it makes me feel optimistic, all this order. I think I crave order, but am sometimes too lazy to maintain it. Know what I mean?
Toney and I watched Public Enemies on Saturday, and it’s a great movie if you’re into two and a half hours of men firing Tommy guns in period costumes. There was no story, really. It was just Johnny Depp robbin’ banks and runnin’ from the law. And shooting lots and lots of guns, of course.
There was a great scene when John Dillinger (Depp) walked into the Chicago Police Department and nonchalantly strolled around the “Dillinger Unit.” It was a section of the building where a group of cops — charged with catching “public enemy number one” and nothing else — were based.
He checked out the bulletin boards while people worked around him, and even asked some policemen huddled around a radio, “Hey, what’s the score, fellas?” Nobody noticed him, and when he finished checking things out, he just left. If that really happened… well, the man had balls of titanium steel.
But that’ll be the only scene I’ll remember. I already know it. The movie is fading fast in my memory, after only a few days. Because it’s not very good, you see. Oh well.
While we were watching, Johnny Depp’s pretty kisser was about three-feet tall on the B.A.T., and the following conversation took place.
Me: So, he’s like… the same age as me?
Toney: Maybe a little older.
Me: Well, how’s he look like that, and I look like this?
Toney: I don’t know.
Yes, it’s important to have a strong support network. It helps a person maintain, it really does.
After Toney said something about the 140 minutes she’ll never get back, and went to bed, I watched a documentary about Ted Williams on HBO. And man, that was MUCH better than the Depp flick.
In fact, there was a scene near the end that got me all choked up, and for a few minutes it was touch and go. I almost started crying. And I find it curious that on the rare occasion I get emotional while watching something, it almost always has something to do with baseball.
Hollywood tearjerker movies? I’m cold as ice. Human suffering at the feet of Sally Struthers? Where’s the freakin’ remote? Tsunami victims? Check out that guy’s pants!
But if you bring baseball into it, all bets are off. Maybe a counselor could get to the bottom of it, I don’t know.
My Question today was inspired by Public Enemies… I’d like for you to think back, and try to remember the most bored you’ve ever been, to date. What were the circumstances?
When I first moved to California I was involved in daily marathon meetings, concerning the merger of two companies. They dragged on for hours and hours, and the tiniest details were beaten to a bloody pulp. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.
In the mornings, while driving to the office, I’d think about my upcoming day. And I wanted to calmly unbuckle my seatbelt, throw open the door, and allow myself to roll out of the car, traveling at 70 mph on the 5 freeway.
Those meetings jump immediately to my mind, when I think about the Excruciatingly Boring Events I Have Known. Those meetings, and Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me — the worst movie ever made.
What about you? Tell us about it in the comments. And if you’d like to tell us about the last movie or TV show that made you cry… well, that’ll be cool too.
See you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Filed under: Daily
numero uno
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WOOT
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The final scene of Band Of Brothers, where they are playing baseball and recounting what happened to everyone after the war makes me well up. Damn- just got a chill thinking about it.
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woohoo 2!!
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damn!!
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Now that that’s outta the way…. Bored? any of the training we get at the Brickpile where I work (am employed that is… it’s a government job) is a four toothpiks in the eyes, head nodding, snore. I once counted acronyms and came up with every letter of the alphabet… it was a 4 day course and the next week I couldn’t remember any of it, except for the acronym count that is.
And speaking of tiny work spaces. In a previous lifetime at another job I knew this old hermit that worked out of closet in the back of his department. I remember thinking, I’ll never sink that low. Oh no..20 years later I was working out of an even smaller closet in the back of the department. It was so small you had to back in if you wanted to sit down. I’ve since moved to a room 5 times as large. Unfortunatly it has ten times the stuff in it. Maybe JK could give me a few tips on cleaning it out. Got a dumptruck??
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Top freaking 10!? First time in years AND I read the update!! Woohoo!!
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hiya
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Oh yeah.. My comment.. Got all excited about the top 10 deal..
On boredom.. Pretty much every biochem lecture I ever sat thru. Ya see, I’m a chemist– which I love but for the love of God, we are a boring group of people!!
I can’t help but shed a tear at It’s A Wonderful Life. My fave movie of all time!! Of course I’m a chick so I also cry at those Christmas Folgers commercials.. And Sophie’s Choice.. And well, all sad movies.. And really happy movies.. Noticing a theme? I’m weepy.
Oddly enough I didn’t cry at the Ted Williams thing.
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The time mr. kenju took me to a dinner seminar about investing our money (haha, what a laugh – “our” money doesn’t exist) was the most bored I have been in years. He just wanted a free meal.
I cried when I saw “It’s Complicated” – tears of laughter. But it’s not for you, Jeff, you’d be bored to tears in that one.
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I don’t think I’ve ever cried as the result of a work of fiction — whether it be movie, TV show, or book. I think it’s because no matter how involved I get in it — no matter how much I suspend my disbelief — in the back of my mind I still know it’s not real, and so I’m unable to totally let go and feel as if whatever sadness might be happening is REALLY happening.
You, Jeff, were watching a documentary, though, and whatever touched you was real, so I can understand being moved to potential teariness in that situation.
I’m trying to think when I was last moved to tears by a non-fiction book/movie/TV show. Probably during a memorial retrospective on TV of the life of Harry Kalas, the great Phillies broadcaster who died last spring.
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I liked Public Enemies, especially the luuuv scenes.
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Hold the presses. Saucy Deb mentioned “It’s a Wonderful Life,” one of my favorite movies of all time. I’ve watched it at least a dozen times, and I know that at least one of those times I did shed a tear or two. So I stand corrected.
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And speaking of crying at movies:
http://www.break.com/index/wife-cries-over-return-of-the-jedi.html
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The most bored I’ve ever been? In 1998 I attended a scientific conference in Montreal. One of the speakers was some ancient professor emeritus from Iowa State who gave a 2 hour talk about transposable elements in corn. I prayed for death.
Tear-jerker movies: Like Dogberryjr, I get choked up at the end of Band of Brothers. Also, certain parts of Saving Private Ryan do it to me as well. The last movie I cried at was Borat, but that was from laughing (I don’t care what anyone says, the chase scene, especially on the elevator, is fucking hilarious).
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The most bored I’ve ever been, ironically, was watching a movie. Reds. Longest yawner ever.
I cry every time that ASPCA commercial comes on with the abused animals. Sarah McLaughling has ripped my soul out through every filling in my mouth with that commercial.
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tearing up.
got in a huge fight with my little brother over christmas and then got drunk a few days later and saw red dawn. that part at the end where swayze and sheen are on the swingset. damn.
bored
the first lord of the rings
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The last film I cried at was ‘Its a Wonderfull Life’ when a young George Bailey gets his ‘sore ear’ repeatedly whacked by a bitter chemist. Its harrowing.
I have been known to cry at rock gigs when the music is of a really high standard. ‘DONT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS!’
The most bored I’ve ever been will be tonight at work. Again.
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My most recent cry fest happened while watching a documentary. It was so sad and it sucked worse that it was all true! I highly recommend it, just be forewarned that it has a wallop of a surprise that knocks you down hard. It’s called “Dear Zachary: A Letter To A Son About His Father”. Man, oh man, bring the tissues & google NOTHING about it before watching. Seriously. Just watch it with no prior knowledge.
The most bored I have ever been was also recently at a meeting here at work. Our IT guy (see: nerd) was showing a group of 6 employees (me included!) how to log onto a friggin’ website to post documents and such. It was long, it was boring and it was one of those times where your eyelids actually hurt when open & you wonder why you are yawning so much. Ugh.
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Most bored I have ever been: 1974 – All year.
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Most bored- following a back injury, I spent several das in bed. No TV, no radio, no internet, no stimulation of any kind. Just the off white walls and ceiling.
Any attempt to get out of bed was met with a fair amount of pain, so all I had to keep me company was boredom.
It got so bad that I started calling friends voice mails and reciting prime numbers off the top of my head unitl the system would cut me off.
I’ve never cried from watching TV or what have you. I have occasionally gotten a little misty but there’ll be no tears here. And I don’t remember why or when I was last misty,
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I always cry at the end of Independence Day, when all the peoples of the world unite to crush the aliens.
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My tear ducts have been hermetically sealed with punctal plugs.
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Most bored – Winter of 2006. Broke my arm really bad and had to have a titanium rod inserted from the shoulder to the elbow. Was off work for 2 1/2 months.
I can’t watch Saving Private Ryan. Also tear up during any movie, documentary, tv show, etc… that causes too many old military memories to surface.
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Most bored- A bus ride from Florida to WV to pick up a car I left there. Tried to drink my way through it, but it still seemed like a 48 hour ride.
last cry at movies- I think 1971- Watching “Brian’s Song” on TV. It’s when Gale Sayers said “I lubbed Brine Picklo! ” Seems a little faggoty to me now. However, it made me spill a cup of hot chocolate on the couch and fake Dad proceeded to beat me with a chair for it. Then I really cried. Fuck you, fake Dad!
On IPOD right now- “Dream Police”- Cheap Trick
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I don’t go out to see movies much because my bladder and patience for my fellow moviegoers are both two sizes too small. It’s usually DVDs for me. So the last time that I can remember crying at a movie was “Frankenweenie.”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087291/
Tim Burton, you little bitch, how dare you slip a dead dog story onto my “Nightmare Before Christmas” DVD?! Crap, I’m getting choked up now just thinking about it!
I can’t recall the most bored I’ve ever been, so I’ll just give you the most bored I was in the last month. And that would be when I was waiting for the nightmare MRI last Friday. Those fuckers switched the waiting room TV from HGTV over to hour four(??!!) of the Today Show. Immediately two middle aged women in the room with me started tittering at every banal thing the vanilla hosts had to say. I wanted to crack their skulls together like walnuts. Sitting through that show while the claustrophobia anxiety was slowly ramping up was excruciating.
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Oh yeah- go to Mockable and read that letter, before a new letter goes up. Do you agree, or what? Dressing up animals is fucking weird.
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Sorry about the memories Jerry.
Cried last week when I lost a friend to FUCKING cancer. Cool guy who enjoyed making Muskie lures
and drinking beer.
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…….
Current day events can be very very boring. In my job, I sometimes have hours, nay, days when I have no deals. I’m pretty much useless until the salesmen do their job. And even after that, I can still be pretty useless. Heh.
So boredom comes easy to me. Thankfully I have unrestricted access to the world wide webs.
Thinking to way back Sherman, set the Wayback machine to….. I remember going with my Mom, Dad and Grandma(Dad’s Mom) way the hell out in the country to a distant relative’s house. This person was the stereotypical crazy cat lady and she had died. The adults were there to go through all of the possessions and figure out what to do about the hundreds of cats. OK, maybe not hundreds, but to me it sure seemed like it. Plus the overwhelming stench of cat piss/shit certainly supported the estimate of that many.
Anyway, I was basically told to sit and not move nor touch anything while they did their inventory. The was no TV, I’m thinking the house might have been without electricity and running water too. That had to have been one of the most boring experiences ever.
Another time, not as boring but, my sister in law got married in a full blown Catholic wedding including high Mass in Latin, soloists, the Communion, on and on and on.
It lasted almost 3 hours and I was bored to tears. However, the reception was a freaking blowout. Everyone got good and drunk, including the priest, who actually drank champagne out of the bride’s shoe. Don’t ask me why.
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The most bored I’ve ever been was when I had to take a required college course on the principles of macroeconomics. The only available section was at 8:30 in the morning, so I knew i was in trouble. I don’t think I was able to stay awake for more than 5 minutes each day.Last summer, I found my old notebook from the class. It was filled with gibberish and long streaks down the pages, because I would try to take notes and fall asleep in the middle of it.
Things that make me cry in movies/TV: Happy endings, such as pets being reunited with their owners. The end of “ET” get me every time, too. And, like Ian above, I’ve been known to cry at concerts as well. There’s something about seeing a band you love playing a song that’s been a part of your life.
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I’ve had a couple of weird coincidences happen to me today. If you’ll indulge me for one of these… I stepped away from the surf report to get a little actual work done and was listening to the Adam Carolla podcast. In it was mentioned an awesome youtube highlight reel of Gale Sayers and I flipped over to watch it before returning back to the wvsr for more comments. and, dammit, @AWG, you mention Gale Sayers in Brian’s Song. trippy
Probably sounds stupid to y’all, and I won’t go into the silly thing that happened this morning, but I think I need to play the lotto today or something. I guess I’m superstitious, huh?
@Son of Sam – sorry about your friend.
@Jerry in WV – you must be reminded of your military experience a LOT, and I’m sorry about that. I hope things get easier for you.
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I don’t know if it was boring, or the weed, but I fell asleep at a Doobie Bros. concert at the Spectrum in 1981. I think it was during a “solo.”
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About 16 years ago, I had a security guard gig. My job was to man a security gate at a poultry plant from 11pm to 7am. There, I discovered a new level of stench and an even higher level of boredom. Aside from the odd-truck coming or going, my only entertainment was watching the chickens that would get loose and wander the yard.
Last movie that made me squirt tears was ‘A Christmas Story’. I’ve only been a father for a little over two years now and that scene where Ralphie finds his air rifle on Christmas morning grabs me every time. Great father-son scene. ‘Where The Red Fern Grows’ has always been good for a few tears as well.
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The most bored I think I’ve ever been was when I was in my early 20s and was chosen to sit on a jury. I remember popping No-Doz like they were Tic-tacs. To make matters worse, it was a medical malpractice lawsuit. The only good thing was one of the attorneys was hot. Even that wasn’t enough to keep me from wanting to off myself in the jury box.
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I cry at the drop of the hat at movies so the list would be long and distinguished. The last movie I shed a tear over was “The Bridges of Madison County” this past weekend.
I also agree with Madz1962. Those ASPCA commercials are heart wrenching. Seeing those abused and neglected babies makes me ill.
I get bored very easily at work. I think it’s time for a change.
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I saw Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me at the theater when it came out. I was the only one on the room.
Speaking of baseball and crying, Mark McGwire made some people cry today I bet.
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I just drove from Houston, TX to Providence, Rhode Island. That was pretty damn boring. Now the cold keeps me going. And the rage within.
Jeff– I have to say that as bad as Fire Walk with Me was, the Worst Movie Ever title belongs to Battlefield Earth. Cause, you see, they were being serious.
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I start to tear up whenever I hear the song “Ohio” by CSN&Y. I was at a politically-active university the following Spring (back in the “throw a brick for peace” era), and the reality that kids got shot by the national guard on a college campus really hit (hits) hard.
I almost said that my most boring moments were during my ill-advised I-was-too-young first marriage, but then I remembered that the ex died a couple of years ago, so I won’t go there in some sort of weird “honor the dead” homage.
So for sheer boredom, I’ll go with any time I’m in the same room while TW is watching a movie on Lifetime. Who makes that shit, and why?
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Good news for Arrested Development fans – Will Arnett signed to make the movie that will begin filming this year.
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All of that dust in your man cave is dead skin cells.
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Alice – hopefully we’re not still being strung along. I won’t have my hopes up until I see previews on TV
I frequently have the waterworks open during movies. I refuse to watch ones that are know to be tear jerkers unless I am by myself.
Sadly too many boring moments to narrow it down. Work is right up there. For movies the most painfully boring one I saw at a theatre was ‘Something about Schmidt’. Trying to sit through it was torture, I kept fooling myself and thinking the pace would pick up until I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I went with friends and told them I was going for a walk and returned for the end of the movie to pick them up.
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Tearing up?…that scene in “Orgazmo” where Choda Boy promises his Dad he’ll never do the Hamster Style again and then has to to use to save Hung.
I usually add some type of natural remedy to my coffee every morning. A little peyote, or some shrooms. I’ll drink beer through the day but never start in on wine until just before noon. I’m never bored.
And I think Mark McGwire made more people laugh than cry today….http://bases.nbcsports.com/
(I’m a baseball junkie. I follow it all winter)
Here’s another good baseball site…http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/
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Again with the links…I’m fucking lame…here’s my usual second try then my usual ….fukit!
http://bases.nbcsports.com/…..http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/
” then has to to use to save Hung.”…as you can see it’s well past noon.
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Joe T – I walked out of a Fleetwood Mac concert. Mick’s solos lasted for MONTHS. And it took Stevie Nicks a good hour to go up and down the stage collecting her roses and crap from fans. I felt bad for Christie – nary a posy did she receive.
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Most friggin bored EVER!- Two weeks in Kuwait while waiting for the rest of our guys to catch up to us. We we on our way home from Iraq but they couldn’t fly due to sandstorms. THEN…we got sandstorms! All we wanted was to get home!
Every episode of Little House on the Prairie makes me cry. I swear…every single one…
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I gotta agree with Kristy…jury duty makes me want to find a tree and end it.
The ending of Jacob’s Ladder made me break down. I dont want to talk about why.
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Here’s an odd thing that unexpetedly broke me up a little: my then-wife and I were perusing around in the Smithsonian. As you know, they have lots of things that are familiar to everyone who’s into pop culture, like Archie Bunker’s chair, the ruby slippers, etc. The thing thay had that that made me tear up (so much so that I had to turn away from my wife so she wouldn’t think I was a nut-case) was Ted Baxter’s jacket. I think it was green and had a little WJM patch on it. Why that would have any effect on me whatsoever is a mystery – I didn’t like the show all that much, and Ted (the character and the actor) was always annoying to me. And it wasn’t because of the death of Ted Knight – he wasn’t dead then. So, what the hell?
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Just got my WVSR tee shirt. Awesum.
O.K everybody buy 1 and make JK rich…. well not rich but maybe he’ll be able to afford one of his stupidly dark and bitter beers.
Cheers!
I think I’ll have one now.
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“Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me” is pretty bad, but you obviously never seen “Freddy Got Fingered”.
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I may be turning in to a giant old pussy; I don’t know any more. The list of things on TV that make me cry is growing longer and longer but these are obvious:
Linus’ speech in “A Charlie Brown Christmas”
Radar saluting Henry Blake before he gets on the helicopter
Jack Warden’s character in “Heaven Can Wait” in the locker room at the end, when he realizes that Joe Pendleton (Warren Beatty) is really gone.
Kevin Costner asking his Dad to have a catch in “Field of Dreams”.
There’s more. We could have a whole discussion on this one some time, Jeff. Set it up.
I don’t want to dwell on the times I’ve been bored. I’ve spent too much time sleepwalking through life to spend one second more recalling it.
Oh yeah – meant to write “but you’ve obviously” in the previous post.
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15 hours in the back of a C130 from Germany to Gander Newfoundland sitting in a strap seat, wearing an Artic Parka to prevent freezing to death,Headphones to dampen the engine noise, with nothing but a flask of coffee and a stale ham & cheese sandwich to keep me company!! that took boredom to a new level!
! get a lump in my throat every time I watch that scene in a Christmas carol when the Cratchetts can’t afford a Turkey so they eat Tiny Tim instead.
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bored- waiting for a delayed flight in a snow storm at Buffalo airport in January 2 years back.
Buffalo-Airport-January.
Doesn’t bear thinking about.
I don’t tear up over fiction, not since Old Yeller about 40 years ago, anyhow.
Sometimes want to cry over election results, however…
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Hey, AWG! Got to mockable and read my answer to you calling me fucking weird!
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Bored? Same here: meetings at work. The 2+ hour ones that have nothing to do with my position but for some reason I’m required to attend. Pistol-in-mouth time.
Also, when I was a kid I used to go to a doctor (specialist) once a year for a checkup. This guy was so overbooked that if you had a 7am appointment (when he wasn’t even there and everyone knew it) you would not seen until 3pm — no shit. The appointment was always during the summer for some reason, so for a kid to sit in a doctor’s waiting room for that long was the definition of boredom and torture. The magazines there sucked too. It was all Highlights for Kids, and I was into reading Dirt Bike and Mad Magazine.
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AWG – that should have been “Go”
Rat – I go to one of the 2.5 “what has this got to do with me?” meetings every week and I am so not needed there that they don’t even give me a copy of the handouts. But my boss wants me there. They might have a computer question some day….
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AWG your mockable contribution would be hilarious if it wasnt so true! the only thing more frightening is the concept of eating boiled Peanuts!
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Like everyone else here, I was bored to tears at two day company seminars…arghhhh. I always seem to cry when I watch Extreme Home Makeovers. That shit just tears me up! I also cry watching chick movies like Steel Magnolias, Beaches, The Notebook etc. because I am a chick! The animal abuse shows and Save the children; and St. Jude get me every time! When I was home after back surgery it was pretty bad,,, it was like… Get a job, Go back to school, lose that weight… a constant barrage of negativeness.
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I must add that I have been reading Steven King’s Lisey’s Story, and I must admit that it is theee worst Steven King novel I have ever read! It is boring beyond belief, and they use a nonsense language that really grates on your nerves.I love steven King but this is the absolute worst novel he has ever produced!
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When I was visiting family in the U.K. over ChristmasI saw this commercial on T.V. It seems it’s been banned in North America! I woder why!!
http://www.manolith.com/2009/09/26/bud-light-with-lime-in-the-can-ad-pulled-from-us-canada/
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Most bored – The last 1.5 hours of “Invictus” How many times do we need to see Matt Damon and his buddies jogging through adoring persons of color in S Africa. The final scene (which lasted an hour) was with absolute metaphysical certainty the most boring movie scene ever:
- rugby teams enter stadium
-scene of black people drinking and pointing at tv
-scene of white people drinking and pointing at tv
- scene of white and black people drinking and pointing at tv
- scene of rugby players dry humping each other
-repeat for 59 more minutes
I cry during “Miracle on Ice” “Hoosiers” “On the Waterfront” “Band of Brothers” and a few more that do not come to mind right away. I am a big pussy.
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I just teared up from laughing at:
@Pagan “…when the Cratchetts can’t afford a Turkey so they eat Tiny Tim instead.”
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I teared up when I heard Simon Cowell will be leaving American Idol. 95% of my sarcasm comes from his lines. Then I really cried when I learned Ellen DeGeneres is replacing Paula. Real men don’t watch American Idol do they? Either way, the sarcasm is going to very interesting this season.
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If you don’t count process excellence training or three years at Merck, I’d say it was last Sunday during our inappropriately late Christmas pageant. I turned to our friend Kate (she and her sister have been pimping wvsr for years)…
told her I’d need a pizza sized adderall to gnaw on, if I was to survive the rest of the pageant. An enlarged Concerta like I was Stuart Little and it sat in my mini red wagon.
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@t-storm and anyone else who read The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings trilogy and feels slightly guilty about enjoying a set of fantasy books: read Harvard Lampoon’s “Bored of the Rings”. I’ve lost my copy but I clearly recall reading certain passages and laughing until tears came out of my eyes. There are not many books that can elicit tears of laughter.
Available at Amazon, so link through Jeff’s site….
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I broke down just watching the previews of the season premier of I-Carly. Sorry, I can’t really talk about it–to see Freddy find happiness is just a little too much right now.
Buck Out
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OH, and I’ve made the suggestion that Simon Cowell be replaced next year by Ted Nugent. I think that would shake up that shit-bag show.
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Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame. They have Richie Valens roller skates on display..that made me tear up.
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fell asleep at a phish show once. then hooked up with the girl i was with, way more interesting. what isn’t interesting is that naked she looked like the michelan man. doh.
seekar, that wouldn’t have been on the eastern shore of vagina would it? 3 chicken plants there and the week before i moved there some jack hole didn’t close the valve on a chicken fat tanker and that truck leaked the fat all the way up route 13. i can still smell it.
most bored ever? trying to find your mom’s g-spot. well after i was done she renamed it the t-spot.
np- confess me, hamell on trial
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@Buck – That’s got to be the suggestion of the year. If you aren’t a good singer Nugent puts an arrow through your upper thigh. Be a great show.
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tearjerkers…Steal Magnolias, Titanic!! Come on people, who watched Titanic?? I tear up when I see it on the movie guide!! Legends of the Fall(Tristan, oh Tristan!!)
This was from many moons ago..I have a nasty restaurant post. Years ago, after working at a “Logans Roadhouse” I was told after removing the banana pudding dessert to carefully scrape the flies out of top…as their was “no way” they could keep flies out of it. Holy Hell!! That and their damn yeast rolls. Don’t ask how much sugar they put into that damn sweet tea. That place was so gross. True Stories!! Are they still around?? In Chicago now, so we don’t have those.
Yucko.
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i think it’s texas roadhouse now. i laughed so hard at titanic. i cried during strange wilderness because i paid for both tickets.
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Still bored………..
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The most bored I’ve ever been was during my first blowjob. She was so terrible at it I was having a hard time staying erect. I ended up faking an orgasm for my first and only time just to get it over with. It’s like she just stuck it in her mouth and held it there. If I tried to move around her teeth would scrape the helmet. Very boring.
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how do you fake it with your hog in her mouth?
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The last time I can remember completely breaking down and openly weeping was a couple of years ago after descending into the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in the center of Berlin (just south of Brandenburg Gate). Its an effective monument. The manner in which the Germans are dealing with this aspect of their country’s history is remarkable. It is apparently an open and constant national discussion there.
I’m gonna go back to being bored now………
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Yank it away and say, “Oh God, Oh God!” then run to the bathroom to “clean up”.
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t-storm: hog?!? You’re killin me! lol
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Oh God, Oh God and then pee a little
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hog!! as if. we are probably more talking one of those “hostess weiners” no offense guys. I have seen hogs, but mostly cocktail variety. lol.
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holy bejesus, Avatar was like a 3 hour chore….i dont know if it’s the most bored I’ve ever been, but it’s the most recent non-work related incident
thank god it was in IMAX 3D or i woulda walked the hell out and asked for my $14 freakin dollars back…even that was a let down, the 3D was better in the previews. meh
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The most bored I’ve ever been was when I worked in this factory and they showed us solid three days of bullshit OSHA videos and suchlike. Some guy with a monotone narrated and the worst actors on Earth would pretend to trip over a wooden pallet or something and break their arms off. The first day I actually slept through most of it. After that they had a video Nazi sit up front and make sure you were paying attention.
She actually called me out on day three. “Tennessee, do you want to fall off a ladder and break your back?” And I told her, “we don’t have no fucking ladders in here lady.” She respected my bluntness, I guess, and it must have turned her on. She came home with me that night after work and gave me the worst blowjob in human history.
I’m pretty fucking bored right now.
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The most bored I’ve ever been was when I worked in this factory and they showed us solid three days of bullshit OSHA videos and suchlike. Some guy with a monotone narrated and the worst actors on Earth would pretend to trip over a wooden pallet or something and break their arms off. The first day I actually slept through most of it. After that they had a video Nazi sit up front and make sure you were paying attention.
She actually called me out on day three. “Tennessee, do you want to fall off a ladder and break your back?” And I told her, “we don’t have no fucking ladders in here lady.” She respected my bluntness, I guess, and it must have turned her on. She came home with me that night after work and gave me the worst blowjob in human history.
I’m pretty fucking bored right now.
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this little piggy went to market. and by market i mean virginia.
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during said beej was she wearing safety goggles?
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Casey J,
Don’t insult the size of my dolphin. Most girls insist that I hold my fist at the base, lest I hit their cervix. And I’ve yet to meet one brave enough to take it in the butt. I once approached a Mexican girl down on the border that fucked a donkey on stage. After her show we met in her RV and when I pulled it out she ran away, horrfied.
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I don’t think I’ve heard it called a “hog” or “hawg” since the mid eighties.
Casey J, nobody likes a size queen.
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She was wearing a viking helmet with fake blonde pigtails. I think that’s the only thing that kept me from going limp.
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This is so embarrassing . . . borrowed the new Star Trek movie DVD and sat down to watch with the hubby. I was bawling from the get go with Kirk’s dad and stuff. OMG! Can’t listen to “Amazing Grace” played on bagpipes without tearing up and, of course, they play this at the end of Star Trek – Wrath of Khan. Maybe it’s a theme . . . Star Trek.
Boring . . . any staff meeting. One guy actually was caught sleeping at the meeting.
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During every second of Titanic. Desperate to leave, but stayed because I thought the lady I was with wanted to see it. She was sitting there thinking the same thing for the whole eternity of that thing. I saw a critic describe it as a $10 script with a $100,000,000 production budget. Much like his new piece of all-effects, no script banality.
And any staff meeting where the management presented at great length the idiotic details of Upper Management’s latest Silver Bullet Project to Save The Company by motivating all of us ungrateful wretches to produce more per person to increase their bonuses.
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I heard the director’s cut of Titanic was actually longer than the actual voyage.
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The last tear jerker? Taking Chance, and HBO film about a Marine Lieutenant Colonel who volunteers for escort duty to accompany Corporal Chance Phelps’ remains to his home town. It was a tear jerker from the first ten minutes.
Bored moments? I try not to let that happen, but unproductive meetings drive me up a wall.
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