I massively overslept today. I was freaking exhausted. In fact, someone at work told me I looked “horrible” last night. How flattering. So, I put in about nine hours atop the platform, and feel roughly a million times better.
However… there’s not much time for an update. So, I’m going to have to rely on you guys again.
Today I’d like to hear your stories about the damage your pets have rendered unto your world. I assume these will mostly be about dogs, but there’s no reason to limit it. Do you have any tales of animal destruction, in a domestic setting? Please share them in the comments section below.
I have three, off the top o’ my tiny Duke head:
Steve used to have a beloved golden retriever that he confined to the basement when they weren’t home. This was no case of hardship for the dog; Steve loved that thing, and the basement was practically a dedicated suite of rooms geared toward the hound’s comfort. And one day he came home, and discovered that it had eaten an entire section of drywall. Well, as high as he could reach anyway… Heh.
My aunt and uncle used to have a crazy-ass cocker spaniel (I love dogs, but there’s a limit to everything) which would eat anything that wasn’t locked-down. It could jump onto the kitchen counters, and had the ability to disappear a family’s entire dinner within seconds. One day, around the holidays, they forgot (probably drunk) to secure the scene, and that ridiculous animal ate two whole pies, and half a cake. Another time, when it was still a pup, it got into a bag of raw potatoes (WTF??) and devoured most of it. Its gut was distended for the rest of the day, and I think that retarded mongrel experienced a bit of regret.
Finally, a friend of Toney’s has two enormous white dogs. I don’t know what breed they are, but they’re the size of ponies, and that’s not an exaggeration. The family was going away for the day, and wanted to cook a roast in the Crockpot. They couldn’t trust those outsized dogs around cooking meat, so they put the Crockpot inside a bathroom, and behind two closed doors. Well… they got through both doors somehow, yanked the Crockpot off the counter, ate the whole roast, and tracked gravy throughout the house. This just happened a couple of days ago… it’s a fresh tale.
Now I’m hoping you guys have something to add on this subject. I don’t think we’ve done this one before, which is a shock. It feels like a good one.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
Have a great day!