Yesterday I joked about wanting a cable channel that shows only the human interest stories about Olympic athletes, and leaves out all the actual competition.
This got me to thinking about other ideas for cable networks I’ve cooked-up through the years. I tried to collect them together, and have almost certainly forgotten a few. But here are the ones I can instantly recall:
The Choking Channel Nothing but people choking on food, twenty-four hours a day.
RaveTV Repetitive, thumping technocrap blaring at all times, the screen functioning as a giant strobe light. …Of course, we’d have to do some advance testing, to make sure it wouldn’t destroy plasma screen TVs and/or trigger grand mal seizures.
Weather Forecast Classic Random weather forecasts, lifted from local TV news broadcasts over the past forty years. Almost all would be for uneventful days, when nothing out of the ordinary happened.
The Pet Alone Network A channel for pets that are home alone. Open fields, walks around interesting neighborhoods, car rides, jowly senior citizens spooning on the praise… I think it would be a hit.
The Off Channel For people who get anxious and nervous when the TV is turned off, but occasionally need a little peace and quiet. It would be completely silent, and the screen would be black – except for the comforting Off Channel logo in the lower right-hand corner.
So there you go. Those are but a few of my ideas for new cable networks. And now it’s your turn.
Please leave your suggestions in the comments.