This is going to be a quickie, because my counterpart at work gets to go home as soon as I arrive. So, I’m feeling social pressure to get in there and put him out of his misery. The good news? I also get to leave early. It’s weird, ’cause yesterday felt like Saturday, and now here I am back in the work week — at the extreme wrong end. I’m all discombobulated.
Anyway, a few days ago Toney asked me to pick up some toilet paper while I was out running some errands. Years ago I would’ve been embarrassed to make such a purchase, unless it was embedded inside a larger buy. Ya know? My attitude today is “That’s right, I wipe. In fact, I’m going to take this home right now, bust it open, and go to town with it.” For the record, I also bought a coconut cream pie. Rectum ribbon and pie. What of it?
And while I was there making my TP selection, I spotted the questionable stuff in the photo. 57 cents!? I sent the picture to Toney to see if it was acceptable, and she said I might want to go up a class or two. Heh. I was thinking it would be like copier paper, but she said it would more likely be super-thin and dissolve upon contact. What do you guys think?
I went with a 12 pack of Cottonelle, which will probably be like using an angora rabbit. I don’t really know yet. I’m not keeping track.
In any case, I’d like know if any of you have ever been in a situation where you were forced to engage in stunt-wiping. You know, where you have to use something other than TP? I don’t think I have. It seems like I might have had to use the cardboard tube once or twice, for a final pass. But I’ve never had to use leaves, a shower curtain, socks, the spinning wheel of an exercise bike, or anything like that. How about you? Do you have any stories to tell on this subject?
Before I call it a weird day here, I want to remind you guys — once again — to please use our Amazon links to make your holiday (or personal!) purchases. Just click through any of them, like this one, and shop as normal. It’ll cost you nothing extra, and help me a great deal.
I’m going to leave now, and let Mike start his weekend.
Have a great day, my friends!