Hi folks. I hope your holiday weekend is going well. I apologize for being away from the site for so long, and could hit you with some solid excuses. But I’m not really into it. Excuses, I mean. Screw it… It’s too hot to care.
Yesterday and most of today I’ve been doing some deep-cleaning around the house, and man, it sucks. That kind of nonsense is horrible on a regular day, but it’s suddenly so hot and humid I feel like I’m living underneath a heavy scrotum. Not just a scrotum, mind you, but a heavy one.
My home office (aka The Bunker) is a thing of beauty, though, and so is the entire downstairs. Toney is tackling the upstairs, and I had the boys mow the lawn. So, we’re getting there. It hasn’t been fun, and my mannery glands are as slick as twin seals. But as I type this… it’s almost cocktail hour.
I have to work on Sunday night, but have Monday off. Couldn’t they just give us a long weekend? No, I guess they could not. They’re giving us the SECOND day of the week off. Hey, whatever. As I said before, it’s too hot to give a shit.
Some fresh outrage: A few days ago I was in the post office, to mail some DVDs. I checked my PO Box before I went to the counter, and it was completely empty – again. Every time I check, there’s nothing. I don’t get much mail there, it’s true. But not a single thing in weeks? Not even pizza coupons? It seemed weird.
So, I asked the guy at the counter about it, and he went and checked for me. When he returned he told me there was a cardboard “plug” in the back of my box, which indicates the fee wasn’t paid.
“That’s weird,” I said. “It seems like I just paid it a few weeks ago. I’ll have to check it when I get home.”
He had a concerned look, and asked a woman to confirm the status of Box 88. She logged onto a computer, and a couple of minutes later told him it’s paid-up until August 14, or something.
“So, how long has that plug been in there?” I asked.
“Um… since late February.”
What?! I asked him what’s been happening to my mail, and he told me it’s all being returned(!).
“Why does my key still work, if you think the fee wasn’t paid?” I said.
“It doesn’t make any sense, does it?” he answered.
Good thing I’m on those new blood pressure pills… God only knows what was returned as undeliverable. I don’t even want to think about it. It’s infuriating. They’re supposed to do an “investigation,” but I don’t expect to get any satisfaction. I mean, what am I, an idiot? There’s no positive outcome to this.
So, in the unlikely event that you sent something to my PO Box, and it was returned, I apologize. I don’t know what the hell happened, and how their high tech plug system broke down (what is this, 1923?). It’s just one stupid thing after another.
I have more outrage, involving Subway (nothing about mayonnaise this time), but it’ll have to wait. Do you have anything new to report, on the rage front? Please use the comments link below.
Also, there are a lot empty stores at our local mall, and the boys and I were trying to come up with some businesses we could launch, to fill the gaps. It was complete silliness, and my two favorite offerings were Acre of Pants, and Jeff’s House of Exotic Baloneys.
So, if you want to give us some new mall stores to ponder, that would be cool, too.
I’m going to open a beer now, and start down that slippery slope. I’ve been working my big ass off, and feel like I’ve earned it. Of course, I also feel like I’ve earned it when I take my shoes off, or successfully scratch an itch in the center of my back. But that’s beside the point.
Have a great weekend, my friends.
I’ll see ya next time.