My books finally arrived today, thirteen days after they shipped.
And where were they coming from, to take so long, you ask? The former Soviet Union? The darkest jungles of Africa? A frigate floating in the Indian Ocean? No, Philadelphia and New York, thank you very much. You know, a couple hundred miles from here?
But, as irritated as I am with the USPS, I’m also pissed at the sellers. Maybe more so, in fact. I paid both of them $3.99 for postage, and they turned around and spent somewhere in the neighborhood of fitty cent, and pocketed the rest.
I failed to mention that part of my aggravation last time… But boy, it really toasts my strudel. The whole experience ate it with gusto, from the ass-on-in.
In case you missed it on Friday, Metten and I have decided to turn off the lung-blower on Mockable. It was an experiment that worked on certain levels, and failed on others. You can read our goodbye messages here.
I want to thank Metten, once again, for his commitment to the project, and for producing so much great material. The site didn’t build a large audience, but I’m proud of what we accomplished together. I really am.
Before we yank the archives, I hope you guys will scroll through them again. There’s some great, under-appreciated stuff there, and that’s a fact.
Thanks to everybody who supported us at Mockable! We appreciate it sincerely.
On Saturday night Toney did what I would never be able to do. She gave a lengthy speech to a ballroom full of people, through an amplification device. And it was pretty darn good, too.
Man, if I’d been required to do such a thing, it would’ve completely ruined the week leading up to it, my hair would’ve fallen out in clumps, and the speech itself would’ve turned out something like this.
So, my tiny Duke hat is off to Toney! Well-done, as usual.
And this is going to be a quickie, but I posted a bonus update on Sunday, so consider that the first half of this one. OK? Is that cheating? Oh well.
I’ll leave you now with the Question of the Day: Who is the cheapest person you’ve ever met? How did their cheapness manifest itself? Tell us about it, won’t you?
What triggered this question was a story someone (purposely vague) told me over the weekend, about a person she knows. This person’s husband is reportedly of the “short man syndrome” variety, and also maniacally cheap.
They’re not poor, they’re actually quite well-off. So the cheapness isn’t out of desperation, but from some sort of mental illness, I think.
The guy will only allow their computer to be turned-on for one hour per week, because of the amount of electricity it supposedly uses, and the entire family has to accomplish whatever is needed within that amount of time.
They’re allowed one hour of television per day, and then the TV has to be turned off and unplugged.
After the wife goes to the grocery store she has to turn the receipt over to her husband, and he goes over it and “suggests” ways she could’ve shopped a little smarter. She supposedly stresses-out over what his reaction might be to the weekly shop, and sometimes spends hours at the store making sure she’s doing it “right.”
And this is my favorite… They buy jeans from Sears (I think) — the store brand with a lifetime guarantee. And when they start getting a little worn out, Napoleon makes his wife return them and get replacements.
The only problem? The store will only replace the jeans with the exact same size. So, all their kids walk around in skintight high-water Sears-brand jeans, in one of the snootiest middle schools in northeastern Pennsylvania. It’s amazing to me, incredibly crackpot.
So, there you go. Do you have anything like that? Tell us your stories about cheap people you’ve known, and I’ll see you guys next time.
Have a great day, my friends!