I came home from work on Sunday night, and this website was down. So was Mockable, and it was all fairly annoying. But, you know, it’ll happen from time to time.
And after I hoisted my heft off the dormancy platform, and shuffle-pooted to my computer the next morning, I saw that both sites were STILL down. Grrr… Something must be seriously wrong, I mumbled into my chipped Cape May mug. Fan-flippin’-tastic.
I sent my webhost an email, asking what was going on, and started complaining about the situation at Twitter. And people told me: the Surf Report isn’t down… I’m looking at it right now.
What in the double-decker heck?
Turns out I’d triggered something in the host’s firewall, and my specific IP address was blocked from visiting any sites housed on the server. They couldn’t tell me why it happened, but fixed the problem.
And the entire process, from first profanity to remedy, took several hours. The hosting company advertises 24 hour support, but I think it’s a Steven Wright situation: 24 hours… but not in a row.
So, that’s why there was no update yesterday. Sorry ’bout that. I hate to miss any day (I really do), but especially Mondays. And so it goes.
After I’d washed my hands of the situation yesterday, I decided to go to Waffle House for their Big Retarded Field Hand breakfast. But it didn’t happen. I went to Borders instead, and bought this book.
Next Friday I’m going to go into revise/rewrite mode on my “book,” and want to ingest that guidebook before I get started. It has a good reputation, and since I’ve never edited a novel-length manuscript before…
I’ve made a point of not reading my book since I finished the first draft at the end of December. It’s best to just let it settle for a while, I think. I did send it to two more folks to read and critique last week (one of whom is a Surf Reporter), and am looking forward to their feedback.
The thing still needs some work, but has good bones, I think. I’m excited to start working on it again, and making it better.
After Borders it was time for me to go to work, but I still hadn’t eaten anything. So, I ended up going through a McDonald’s drive-thru, and taking them up on their $3.99 Filet-O-Fish meal deal.
And have you ever tried to eat one of those fish sangriches while driving at 75 mph on an interstate highway? It’s not easy, I’m telling you, because of the criminal overuse of tartar sauce. Why do they have to put so much on there? Sweet Maria. What do they use, a soup ladle?
So, the first bite sent a golf ball-sized glob of sauce out the back-end of my sandwich, and I was worried I’d get it all over my clothes. So I was contorting myself and dodging falling tartar, while traveling at a high rate of speed.
Tasty, though. I like those Filet-O-Fish. Know what I mean? I wish I had one right now.
During my website frustration yesterday, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” came up on iPod shuffle play, and it reminded me of the Weird Al version of that song: “Smells Like Nirvana.”
I like Weird Al, he’s usually reliably silly, but the dude seriously dropped the ball on that one. The video is funny, but the song parody is incredibly lame. Smells like Nirvana? Sheesh. A kindergartner could come up with something more clever than that.
In fact, I’d like to make that the Question of the Day. I’m getting all worked-up about it… In the comments section, please suggest a better parody of “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” than Al’s.
I’ll get the ball rolling with a few off the top of my head:
Smells Like Bad Hygiene
Smells Like Recent Feces
Smells Like Hotdog Belches
Smells Like Wolf Blitzer
Take it from there, Surf Reporters! Together we can build a better parody.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.