The weirdness that is my life… Right now Toney is taking a CPR class, our younger son is watching ancient Black Flag concert footage on YouTube, and the older boy is on the deck sanding a ukulele. And no, that’s not a euphemism. He’s literally sanding his ukulele.
I had a few beers last night, and it wasn’t much fun, unfortunately. The Dogfish Head 60 Minute Ale tasted great, of course, but I wasn’t in the best mood, and just wasn’t feeling it. And this morning I felt guilty for ruining my months-long streak of no beer. Wotta rip-off. Highly unsatisfactory.
Toney and I went to Best Buy a few days ago, to get the younger hooligan a new cell phone. I used to love that store, but rarely go inside one these days. And it’s really weird… They now sell all sorts of bizarre things, like office supplies, watches, exercise equipment, and candy. I’m fairly certain, if I’d walked around a little more, I would’ve found the produce section.
I was in Sheetz recently, getting a Dr. Pepper fountain drink (why is it so much better over ice?), and they were blasting some godawful techno dance shit, which was threatening to trigger a grand mal seizure. There was a guy standing near me, who was only fat from the waist down. Know what I mean? And I said to him, “Do they think people really like this kind of music?” His response? “Life’s a bitch, and then you die. Or you marry one, and wish you were dead.” What?
I guess there’s a scene in the new Captain America movie where the Cap’n appears in front of a bunch of sailors returning from sea. And they start yelling for him to get off the stage, and “bring out the girls.” Nancy’s kids were allowed to watch this movie — which amazes me — and were confused why anyone would rather see girls than Captain America. Nancy explained, “When men are out to sea for a long time, they crave love. And they’re hoping to find love with one of the girls. …Of course, it’s also OK if they found love amongst themselves.” I nearly choked on my meat loaf as Toney told me this.
I get to return to work today, after six days off. Even under normal circumstances I’d be sad, but there’s stuff going on there that cranks up the dread a hundred-fold. My stomach churns every time I think about it. It’s not supposed to be this way… I’m about ready to shit the credenza.
Speaking of that, I watched an episode of Louie a few nights ago that caused me to laugh harder than I’ve laughed in a long time. It was one where he agreed to babysit some weird freak of a boy, named Never. The kid was along the lines of one of Nancy’s translucents, he wasn’t allowed to eat “carbon,” and the whole thing was just hilarious. If you haven’t seen it, trust me… it’s worth seeking out. Funnier than hell.
And I’m going to stop right here. I have some DVDs that need to be mailed, I want to set aside twenty minutes for a crying jag and a light lunch, then it’s back to work.
I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!