Over the weekend Toney and I noticed several seeing eye dogs inside stores. Well, that’s probably not what they’re called anymore… What is it now, service animals? In any case, we happened upon an inordinate number of them.
But I don’t think they’re just for the blind anymore. Is that correct? One of the people we saw was hanging out in the magazine section of Target, tethered to a spaniel wearing saddlebags. She wasn’t blind, she was reading Vanity Fair.
So, what the hell? What do you guys know about this? What do they have dogs doing nowadays? I’m behind the times on this deal.
And have you also noticed an uptick in the number of these so-called service animals? In the old days entire years might go by without us seeing one, and now they’re all over the place.
Speaking of outdated phraseology, there’s a woman I, um, come in contact with on a regular basis (purposely vague), who talks about “colored people,” and “Orientals,” and a whole host of words dating to the Johnson Administration. And she’s younger than I am.
For some reason I find this to be hilarious, and have to hide my amusement from her. She’s not meaning to be offensive, she’s just stuck on old terms.
She also says, “Oh, don’t go there!” which is probably the freshest and hippest phrase in her arsenal. I have a feeling she picked it up from Oprah, but I could be way off on it.
Do you know anyone like this? A person who talks about the “crippled,” and epileptics having “fits,” and the “Chinaman” who runs the dollar store? If so, we need to hear about it.
And why do I find it so amusing?
I don’t mention it very often, but I spend most Fridays at the library working on my “book.” I still have an agreement with a literary agent, who wants me to deliver a full manuscript. In the early days we batted ideas back and forth, but now that we’ve settled on an idea, the ball is in my court. Which isn’t nearly as much fun…
I’ve got a lot of it written, but am feeling an urge to turn up the heat a bit. It seems to be dragging at this point. I’d like to go somewhere for a few days, with my laptop, and write uninterrupted for ten or twelve hours per day.
Nostrils talked about this recently. He is, of course, writing his “pirate novel,” and was toying with the idea of renting a cottage by the sea for a week. Not at the beach, but by the sea. Wotta douche.
When he was discussing it, he hadn’t written a single word. But he believed he could knock out the first draft of an entire 400 page novel in a week. You know, under the right circumstances. Hilarious.
It’s a little disturbing to have similar thoughts as Nostrildamus. But I’d feel a lot better if I had another ten thousand words in the can, and I think that’s doable in a week or so. I don’t need to book a week at a bed and breakfast overlooking the Mediterranean, or anything like that, I’d just need some peace and quiet.
Toney brought up my parents’ house. They spend winters in Florida, and won’t be returning to West Virginia until late April. So, I could theoretically go there and be undisturbed. And check this out: their cable is turned off, they have no internet, and the phone is disconnected.
Sounds perfect, huh? There would be no distractions whatsoever. None.
For an hour or so I considered it, but it doesn’t really make sense. It would require a full day’s drive each way, and that’s just a huge waste of time. If they lived closer I’d probably give it a shot, but their house is more than 500 miles from here.
I think it would be especially interesting to see how I would respond to no TV and no internet. I think I could handle the former, but the latter would be very difficult. I’d probably start having “fits.”
Have you ever been cut off from all media for extended periods? How did you cope? It sounds like it would be cathartic, but I bet reality wouldn’t be quite so sweet. Tell us about your experiences on this subject.
Also, if you were forced to give up TV or the internet, which would you choose? I’d have no trouble with that one, since I watch very little television, but what about you?
And I need to iron a shirt now, and get my big riffled ass out of here.
Have a great day, my friends.
I’ll see you tomorrow.