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Second-Day Foods, and Ridiculous Employee Theft

October 18, 2010 By Jeff 98 Comments

OK, let’s get this second decade started…

I’ve been working an outrageous number of hours, and, in addition to some heavily-taxed overtime pay, my employer gave me a fistful of gift cards to chain restaurants as a token of their appreciation.  Oh, they know how to win my loyalty.

So, a few days ago we busted out one of the cards, and went to Olive Garden.  We don’t go there very often, because the cost-to-enjoyment ratio is sometimes a bit lacking.  It’s not horrible, or anything, just kind of pricey for what you get.  In my opinion, anyway.

It was a weeknight, but the joint was hoppin’ and incredibly noisy.  We were seated at a square table in the middle of the floor, and I was so close to the booth behind me I thought the occupants might ask to sit a basket of breadsticks on my shoulder.

I ordered the “create your own” pizza, with green peppers, onions, pepperoni, and sausage.  Everybody else got complicated pastas of some sort, but I (like Barney Fife) don’t like my main dish concealed in a heavy sauce.  And, as it turned out, the pizza was pretty damn good, possibly the best thing I’ve ever eaten at Olive Garden.

But the waiter who was helping my new friends behind me, kept wedging his big Dockered ass into the small space between their table and me.  One time I wasn’t paying attention, turned my head, and almost found myself with a male butt cheek mashed against my head and neck.  And I can’t have that.

He was, quite possibly, the most attentive waiter in the history of waitering, and his outsize ass was almost continuously bobbing and weaving into my airspace.  I was afraid he might eke one out, and blow microscopic poop particles across my pie.  But I think I dodged the bullet, thank God.

I enjoyed the pizza, despite the presence of some guy’s butt, and Toney and the boys liked their meals, as well.  In fact, I took two slices home, had them the next day for a pre-lunch starter, and it was even better than the night before.  Why are some foods like that?

What are your favorite better-the-second-time foods?  Spaghetti sauce comes to mind, as well as chili.  What do you think?  What would you serve at the Second Day Café?  Help me out, won’t you?  Use the comments link below.

And speaking of overtime, do you think those trapped Chilean miners will be paid time and a half for the 69 straight days they were underground?  That works out to be 1656 hours each, give or take.  (And I’m the one complaining?)  At the very least, they should get a laminated certificate, and potluck lunch.  Right?

I was talking to a guy from a previous job a few days ago, just touching base ‘n’ catching up, and the subject turned to an ex-coworker who was fired for stealing.  Oh, this woman didn’t steal money, or the products we manufactured, or anything along those lines.  No, she would sneak entire pizzas to her car, trays of brownies, or cases of soda – from company-sponsored lunches, etc.

She was also suspected of emptying every first aid kit of the Band-Aids, if you can believe it.

Finally, she was caught red-handed and they let her go.  While I was talking to my friend, I asked if he knew what happened to her.  And he said she was working in the deli at a local grocery store.

This made me laugh, and I told him I had visions of her standing beside the meat cutter, sending slices of ham into her purse, which just happened to be wide-open and sitting nearby.  In my mind I could see her shaving a giant ball of pork into a pocketbook, her eyes nervously darting around the room.

And that leads me to the second Question:  Do you know anyone who’s been fired for stealing?

A rotund accountant embezzled $50,000 from one of my previous employers, turned himself in, and acted like a victim when they fired him on the spot.  He was the same distance in every direction, and was also making payments to some fake company that led straight to his personal bank account.  Wotta portly douche.

And when I worked at a large DVD manufacturing plant, a temp worker was caught with twelve(!) copies of Lord of the Rings in his underwear.  It was a new release at the time, possibly even prior to street date, and the company prosecuted the fool.  When they discovered the discs inside his Fruit of the Looms, he pleaded with security, “They must’ve fallen off a shelf or something!”  Heh.

What about you?  Do you have any “fired for stealing” tales to tell?  If so, now’s the perfect time.

And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker

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Comments

  1. Kevindust says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Cheers to decade #2!!

    Reply
  2. JCIII says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…

    Reply
  3. Melissa says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Chili is definitely better the second day, but I can never serve it up. I can’t stand looking at leftovers for some reason. Usually it is the smell but once cooked food has been refrigerated in Saran-Wrap or Tupperware, I have a problem opening it up, spooning it out & re-heating it without gagging a bit.
    My problem with chili (or most soups), is the oil seperates so there is a weird film on top that you have stir in. Okay, I’m gagging now just thinking about it.
    The Chilean Miners aren’t doing so well, actually. Some have said they wish they were back in the cave. Heh. One had a blow-up with his family when he didn’t go to a party his mother & sister threw for him (because they invited the media) & instead had a home-cooked meal with his girlfriend & their two kids. His mom & sister blasted him on the media & took the cameras over to his shanty house where they threw rocks at the windows. Nice.
    Another had the whole wife/mistress thing going on. He wants his wife, but she’s only talking to him through lawyers. That is my favorite story yet!
    What is sad about all of them though is they were not paid for their time in the cave as the company declared bankruptcy. Some of the men live in shacks made of tin with 20 family members & almost all have said they were fed better in the cave then outside of it. Only two have lucrative offers elsewhere. (One is a former soccer player who FIFA wants to hire to travel the world giving motivational talks & the other is a Bolivian national who has been offered a full-time salary job from the President of Bolivia.)
    It was nice the world was cheering them on but sad at how quickly they have been thrown into obscurity. My recommendation is they sell those ridiculous Oakley sunglasses on EBay (if they can find a ‘puter) & make some money then get the heck outta Chile. 😉

    Reply
    • dto says

      October 18, 2010 at 12:29 pm

      Oh vherry nice…at least they have a tin shack and only twenty family members. Why…I grew up in a refridgerator box and shared half of it with the neighbors and their three dogs and a cat.

      (First use of the reply feature in decade #2)

      Reply
      • Uncle_Wedgie says

        October 18, 2010 at 12:37 pm

        Did you have the jar for “facilities” like on “this old box” from in living color?

        Reply
      • Dave's not here, man says

        October 18, 2010 at 12:54 pm

        Refridgerator Box? You were lucky to have a refridgerator box! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road!

        Reply
    • Swami Bologna says

      October 18, 2010 at 1:14 pm

      Melissa: Did you notice that the two topics of your post were chili and Chile?

      Reply
      • Melissa says

        October 18, 2010 at 2:10 pm

        I sure did! Once I re-read it after posting I chuckled and said “You say Chili…I say Chile”…

        Reply
        • hot fuzz says

          October 18, 2010 at 3:48 pm

          A shoebox? Pure luxury. We had 200 sheep living with my family in a crumpled wet paper bag next to a meat rendering plant…

          What about if Chill talked about eating chili in a Chili’s restaurant in Chile

          ugh…I used the reply feature… I feel so dirty

          Reply
          • dto says

            October 18, 2010 at 4:42 pm

            And you’re fucking with the time conitnum thing….Pleazze Stop That!

            “What about if Chill talked about eating chili in a Chili’s restaurant in Chile”…and the place was chilly. 🙂

            Reply
            • WB in OH says

              October 18, 2010 at 4:56 pm

              There is an ice cream place around here called Chilly Jilly’s, what if…nevermind!

              Reply
              • icecycle66 says

                October 18, 2010 at 5:18 pm

                Horse shit to all of you, I lived with 4 canadians in a thimble in the toilet tank in a Circle K in Detroit.

                Reply
              • dto says

                October 18, 2010 at 5:55 pm

                Can’t let the chili thing go…thanks a lot hot fuzz (tabernac).Can a person catch ADHDEIEIO at an older age? I get shit stuck in my head and it’s like six ferrets fighting for control of a gerbille.

                Oh well…here goes. Ten years from now…WTF?

                So while eating a bowl of chili at a chilly Chili’s in Chile the waiter was called over and the diner said,…
                “I’m sorry sir but this chili is chilly.”
                Well that comment was met with a rather chilly reception and the waiter responded…”Why yes it is. And quite good if I say so myself.”
                “No…no…it’s chilly. It’s really chilly.”
                “Yes. Thank you sir. I’ll relay your compliments to the cook.”
                “Look…Have you tasted this lately?”
                “Oh yes sir…it’s very good. People order it all the time. Many times people comment the chili is chili come to think of. Sounds odd. No one ever says, ‘The stew is really stew or the soup is really soup’. They must really like our chili to go out of their way to say it’s really chili, almost as if the were expecting something else. Hear it all the time”.
                “Well don’t you think you should do something about it?”
                “What? Are you suggesting we change the recipe? Oh no…that won’t do. People always say their friends told them to order the chili and they wouldn’t believe it. We can’t risk losing that word of mouth success. Can I get you anything else sir?”
                “Yes a carafe of hot water for my tea.”
                “But you’re not having tea sir.”
                “Well I may in a bit and this way I’ll make sure my water isn’t chilly when I make some.”
                “Oh no sir…I promise to bring you water whenever you ask for it. Who ever heard of making tea with chili? That’s just silly.”

                Reply
                • Jenny Piccalo says

                  October 18, 2010 at 10:48 pm

                  That was cool , not chilly . Now chill out with the chili 🙂

  4. JCIII says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    It wasn’t quite stealing, but years ago when I first got in the car business, a friend of mine traded in a Mitsubishi 3000 GT. A really fast little sports car.

    One of the lot attendants thought it would be fun to go on a joyride. So after we had closed for the evening he came back, let himself in and took the car out on the highway.

    He proceeded to lose control on a bend, wrecked the right side down a guardrail, spun across the median and wrapped up the left side off of phone pole.

    Car was still drivable, so he limped it on back to the lot, hung the keys back up and pretended nothing ever happened.

    Unfortunately the ass hat told the other lot attendant what he was planning on doing and got ratted out.

    Fired on the spot.

    Reply
  5. Juancho says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    Things fall into my pants all the time.

    Reply
  6. Lee Harvey Ramone says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    I once stole 700 lbs of mashed potatoes from a job that I once had. Management caught me and prosecuted. On the up-side, I met a nice fellow in prison.

    I don’t even like mashed potatoes

    Reply
    • Tino aka valentin says

      October 18, 2010 at 2:21 pm

      Those mashed potatoes would be good with the mountain of beef and the lake of gravy in the bunker cam.

      Reply
  7. Carla says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    Stroganoff is better the second day!

    I almost got fired for being an accomplice to theft when I stopped on my way into The Walmart (my first post high school job) and talked to a friend in the parking lot that I had went to school with. Said bye, went to work. A few hours later I got called to the office by security and grilled about vacuums? I was like WTF? Apparently the girl I was talking to had a vacuum in her cart she didn’t pay for and they thought I was helping her out. She had a theft ring going and I almost got sucked into it. So I gave them her name and told’em I was innocet. Jeese, what a suck day that was.

    Reply
    • Carla says

      October 18, 2010 at 12:30 pm

      innocent, wish there was an edit button Jeff!!

      Reply
    • paul says

      October 28, 2010 at 9:42 pm

      “sucked into” a vacuum theft…..heh

      Reply
  8. Ginger says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    I used to work in the asset protection department of one of the biggest mall-store chains in the country. I was in charge of watching the employees, so I caught many, many employees stealing merchandise, as well as cash.

    The biggest one, though, was an employee that I watched for months, who was literally stealing wads of cash straight out of the ginormous store safe. When all was said and done, I was able to prove that she had stolen well over $50,000. I was the only female employee authorized to supervise criminals in the store, and the day we called the police to have her hauled off, I was the only woman in the whole place … all the police were male. So when she needed to “go to the bathroom,” in handcuffs mind you, I was the only person who could go with her.

    While she was in the stall she tried to “kill herself” by stabbing a ball-point pen into her neck. It was gross, and I was horribly ill-prepared for prison antics like that. Although I left that job over ten years ago, I keep her file with me, just in case something crazy ever comes up.

    Oh, and homemade soup is fantastic the next day, as is any cajun-genre cuisine!

    Reply
  9. Melissa says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    I never got fired for stealing anything & can’t recall anyone I know who has, but I do remember working at Blockbuster Video out of high school for a couple years (I actually enjoyed that job, ha!) & was asked to fill in as assistant manager for one night only at another store. I obliged since it was on Thanksgiving & I was going to be paid double, but wished later I would have passed it up. First thing that happened was my store always let the employees ‘dress down’ meaning their own clothes (had to be suitable, of course) on holidays, so I assumed this was a whole company kinda thing. I showed up wearing jeans and a sweater & everyone thought I was crazy. Strike one. Strike two was someone asked me to make change for them & gave me $10 from their register. I did, but forgot to put the $10 they gave me into the safe at closing time. I had slipped it in my back pocket since we were busy when she asked & forgot all about it. For some reason everything balanced out for me at closing, so I didn’t think twice about the money. It wasn’t until I got home & saw I still had it that I remembered.
    The next day you would have thought I robbed Ft. Knox. They had the manager of that store, the manager of my store & some corporate district manager in an office with me grilling me over where the $10 was. I handed it over & apologized, explaining what happened, but they all looked at me like I was a common criminal.
    To this day I hated that situation & it still pisses me off when I think about it. I was actually pretty happy when Blockbuster revealed they were going under a couple weeks ago. Good riddance, jackholes!

    Reply
    • Ginger says

      October 18, 2010 at 12:41 pm

      I worked at Blockbuster FOREVER back in the day… worst employer I have ever worked for, they couldn’t care less about their employees! And our management was just like yours!

      Reply
      • Melissa says

        October 18, 2010 at 1:08 pm

        Yeah & like I said I really liked that job. I realize now that I only liked that job because I was good at it. Since my dad is a film editor & documentarian I know a lot about films, so that was a bonus. Plus I always liked working with the customers. It wasn’t until this $10 mishap that I saw how badly the employees were treated & I bailed soon after.

        Reply
  10. bikerchick says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Great start to the second decade!

    I am not crazy about leftovers. With the exception of ‘scetti sauce, chili, soups…I won’t touch them. Cold pizza is just gross to me and looses it appeal once reheated.

    We had an over-attentive waiter at Outback Steak House once…well, they all are, but this one was off the wall. Every time she came to the table, she would bend over and put her hands on her thighs, cock her head and talk to us like we were 5 years old. She was so chummy I thought she was going to invite us to her house for Thanksgiving or something. Jeez…lighten up sister.

    Reply
    • Melissa says

      October 18, 2010 at 1:11 pm

      Ugh, cold pizza is a major nasty for me. My boyfriend eats it straight out of the Ziploc & that just make my throat constrict. Mushy dough and soggy toppings….no thanks!
      I’ve noticed that almost all Outback servers are very…um….perky. Everytime I go the server either squats at the end of the table to take your order or will actually slide in next to ya, getting all cozy. One guy put his arm around my mom & said ‘Can I sit by you, mom?’ She found it hilarious, but I found it off-putting. First off, isn’t that insulting to her, to assume she’s the mom? What if she had been Aunt, or older sister, etc? I don’t know why but that rubbed me the wrong way….I’m dining with my family, thanks. I don’t need your happy ass joining in.

      Reply
      • madz1962 says

        October 18, 2010 at 3:28 pm

        You should have left him the bill and said “Since you’re our new pal, you can foot this.”

        Reply
      • The Evil Twin says

        October 18, 2010 at 3:32 pm

        Yeah, servers who hang out at your table pretending to be a long-lost drinkin’ buddy annoy the shit out of me.

        Reply
        • Jason says

          October 18, 2010 at 5:37 pm

          The girls who squat down or sit across from me when they’re checking my tea or beer drive me nuts. And sometimes they ask my name and then use it over and over. “Okay Jason, did you decide what you wanted, Jason?” And so on. Jeez toots, you’re bringing me lunch, not talking me down from a cliff. They’re just trying to get better tips, and I get that. I guess it beats the crabby ones who act as if it’s a pain in their ass that you’re there.

          My rule about cold food is that I don’t do it. If it can be served hot that’s how I want it. I don’t care for cold pizza, fried chicken, pasta, and so on. I’ve got a cousin that’ll eat hotdogs right out of the fridge door. Fucking gross.

          Reply
  11. bikerchick says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    I said “cock”

    Reply
    • Uncle_Wedgie says

      October 18, 2010 at 12:51 pm

      HeeHee… she said cock

      Reply
  12. dogberryjr says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Pretty much anything with noodles is better the next day. My theory is that it gives the noodles time to soak up some flavor rather than just sitting there being all pasty. In our house we do not even serve lasagna the day it’s cooked. Reheat and serve the next day and it always rocks.

    I think I’d debate whether or not your former co-worker was stealing. Sure, she was low-class, selfish and weird, but unless she was not entitled to share in the food, or unless the food was supposed to have been paid for, I don’t think she’s a thief. Just a douche.

    Reply
    • Kevindust says

      October 18, 2010 at 12:57 pm

      I agree with your noodle theory, the distinct exception being Kraft Dinner (mac n’ cheese). I think the powder-come-cheese-sauce is to blame…reheated KD just isn’t very good (although a few shots of hot sauce works wonders.)

      Reply
  13. Kevindust says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    I agree, spaghetti sauce and chile are better after a day or two. Second day pizza is very good but I still prefer it hot out of the oven. My favorite though, and I believe most of you will not agree, is caesar salad. It’s not for you sauce haters but I love it when everything gets marinated and it becomes creamy garlic mushy cheesy goodness!

    When I worked in manufacturing, the company hired an accountant to work in the purchasing department. About two weeks into his new job, the police showed up and hauled him out in handcuffs. It turns out he was some kind of white collar con artist with all kinds of outstanding warrants. They caught him when payroll registered him for income tax purposes. Needless to say, he was fired. What I find especially funny about the whole thing is that he was a heavyset guy that wore loud shirts and the name he gave was Brian Wilson…a beach boy indeed.

    Reply
  14. emily says

    October 18, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    In the last year we had to fire someone for stealing trash bags. The first time was whatever but how many damn bags do you really need? He was caught on camera several times going into the supply cabinet. How does one explain that to their wife?

    Reply
    • SeanInSac says

      October 18, 2010 at 9:58 pm

      similar thing happened at my job, our night time janitor was stealing bushels of paper towel bundels and taking them home…what the F?

      Reply
  15. Ognir says

    October 18, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    I am often amazed by the number of embezzlement stories that you read about in the paper, or see on the news.

    Reply
  16. Dave's not here, man says

    October 18, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Wow, i have a “stolen food” story.

    The company I used to work for had a deal with the restauraunt that was on the ground floor of the office building. So any company event was always catered by the same people and we knew them all pretty well.

    One day as I was walking to a meeting, I went by a conference room where they had just had a catered lunch. The people were all in their afternoon meeting and the catering guys were cleaning up. I noticed a plate of cookies and askid if they were done. the guy said sure, and handed them to me.

    Well, the fat lady that ran the meeting apparently witnessed me “stealing” the cookies, but didn’t know who I was and couldn’t waddle her giant ass fast enough to go after me, so she just bitched to all the Vice Presidents about the IT guy who stole her entire catered lunch. I told my boss what really happened, and our VP covered for us. How fucking stupid is that – complain to the VPs about cookies?

    Reply
    • WB in OH says

      October 18, 2010 at 1:38 pm

      She had her eye on those cookies and you ruined her afternoons grazing!

      Reply
  17. Dave's not here, man says

    October 18, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    And I worked at a Pizza restaurant while I was in high school. Someone figured out some way of stealing beer from the keegs, so that was pretty fun for a while. Until one jackass went too far – a delivery driver filled up about a dozen 32 ounce take-out cups and apparently that was enough to get noticed. They watched the beer pretty closely after that, trying to catch him. Ironically, he got a DUI and lost his license, so they fired him over that instead.

    Reply
  18. Swami Bologna says

    October 18, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    When I was fresh out of college I worked at a record store. We used to sell concert tickets for a local club, and those tickets and the proceeds from their sale were kept in a metal box under the counter. At some point one of the managers noticed that there was money missing from the box every week — nothing much, just five or ten bucks — and so he set up a sting. They had me working with the manager one day, and then the other guy working with the manager another day, with the manager giving me and the other guy plenty of “alone time” at the counter. Quite an effective sting, as they found the culprit (not me), and fired him. I think it was a mere ten-dollar bill that did him in.

    The kicker, though, is that a few months before this, the same guy had claimed to have been mugged in the street while he was delivering the day’s record-store receipts to the local bank. There would have been easily about a thousand dollars in the bank delivery-bag. No one suspected him at the time — we all showed concern that he was mugged and relief that he wasn’t hurt. But after the ticket-money sting, I think we co-workers could only conclude that the “mugging” had been staged (or completely made up), and he had stolen the bag ‘o’ dough.

    Reply
  19. dto says

    October 18, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    I got off the road for a while and went back home to college. I worked at this deli, convenience store just off campus. I ran the deli counter and did whatever else. Clark was the “manager” and our visits in the cooler were common place. We’d look the other way and let the wineos (cool guys actually) steal their little pint of Mad Dog or Night Train. They were going to anyway so this way it was never a buzz kill for all parties involved. So I guess we were aiding a abetting.

    Reply
    • dto says

      October 18, 2010 at 1:44 pm

      …just whoring out Stanley a bit, but ya know…that got me thinking. My wineo Karma must be pretty good. I’ve never been been beaten up by a wineo.

      Reply
  20. Joey Jo Jo says

    October 18, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    I’ve personally caught several employees stealing from the stores I work at. The dumb fucks will steal lottery tickets, not even thinking ahead, that MAYBE I’ll notice that we’re $75.00 short of tickets, and MAYBE I’ll check the 8 (EIGHT!) video cameras, and MAYBE I’ll see them scratching tickets right there on the counter. Assholes.

    Joe

    Reply
  21. Jimbo says

    October 18, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    We had this one lady at work that stole all sorts of random crap. Even before I found out that she was a klepto, I referred to her as The Crazy Russian Lady. Anyone in our building would know who I was talking about when I used that moniker… even though I think she was technically Polish.

    Probably the weirdest item that she stole was one of those Flavia single-serving coffee machines. She also stole about a hundred of the coffee packets that go with it.

    However, she ultimately got caught because she was also stealing coworkers’ lunches from the refrigerator in the break room. Someone would put 10 Lean Cuisines in there on a Monday morning, and they’d be gone by lunch time. One of the programmers here set up a wireless web cam in the break room and caught The Crazy Russian Lady in the act.

    Before she was escorted out of the building, The Crazy Russian Lady tried (and failed) to wipe the hard drive on her computer. I never heard if they found anything interesting on that drive though.

    Reply
    • Jenny Piccalo says

      October 18, 2010 at 11:02 pm

      There was a crazy lady at my job who would steal food. We just quit putting our lunch in the fridge cause she would always get it. A new person ordered Chinese and left it in the breakroom just long enough to go take a pee and she ate their food! She would even go through fast food bags in the garbage. I don’t think she was starving I think she was just nuts. She did not use her real name at work. After working with her for several years we found out her name was NOT Sylvia ! LOL She had been using “a friends name” . WTF?!
      Oh and she would leave early if it looked like rain because after having SHOCK TREATMENT she was afraid to walk in the rain. LOL I swear !

      Reply
  22. eeyoresmama says

    October 18, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    Anything leftover is good – means I don’t have to cook for a night or two.

    Reply
  23. kenju says

    October 18, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Chili and any kind of home made soup are always better on the 2nd day.

    I know someone who was always spouting Bible verses and praising Jesus – who was fired from the church office for stealing money from the offerings (a LOT of money). She is really lucky they didn’t prosecute her. She is still spouting religious stuff on FB all the time.

    Reply
  24. Tino says

    October 18, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    There was a guy where I work that got caught stealing out of the refigerator. They didn’t fire him because they said they didn’t have enough evidence. They had a poor quality video of him taking someone’s lunch.
    He would go to the VFW and drink all the time and would miss work quite a bit. He told me once that when he was younger he would eat dog food. I don’t know if it was becuase he was poor or what.

    Reply
  25. Tino says

    October 18, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    My reply didn’t post earlier??? My comment is awaiting moderation??? We have a moderator now???

    Reply
  26. Alex says

    October 18, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    On the more extreme side, we have a guy sitting in jail right now for siphoning off nearly $800,000. A couple years ago someone else skimmed off about $500,000 in another area.

    Fries are the one thing that pops to mind that does not make good eating the 2nd time around. Everything else is fair game, and I’ve got cold pizza for lunch tomorrow.
    Ale

    Reply
  27. hardoxdan says

    October 18, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    We had a secretary/receptionist in our Pittsburgh office who was definitely a stoner. One day, our very expensive postage scale turned up missing. This scale was really accurate and would weigh in ounces, grams, grains, carats, etc. She blamed the night cleaning crew.

    A few months later, she logged on to all of the salesmen’s American Express accounts and transferred all the Rewards Points to one guy’s card, then redeemed them for a shitload of stuff including a gas grill, golf clubs, and a ton of other shit I can’t recall. That got her fired.

    Reply
  28. The Evil Twin says

    October 18, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Second-time-around foods? Pinto beans are king!!!

    I made a pot of vegetable beef soup on Sunday big enough to feed the 3rd Infantry. We’ll be eating it all freakin’ week until the family just can’t take it anymore.

    Reply
  29. Root 66 says

    October 18, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    -The cold pizza animosity has to stop…that’s the best test for good pizza…and Marion’s in Dayton IS the best!

    -We nailed some bozo at a toy store I worked at years ago. It was company policy for our lunch bags and aprons be checked at the end of the night. However, they didn’t check people when they went out at lunchtime. This guy would go to the security cage where we kept video games and game systems and cram a bunch of them in his lunch bag, and then leave the building for lunch. It didn’t take us long to figure out why we kept running out of video games but weren’t making any sales. He was prosecuted, and I think it might have been a felony because of the dollar amount! Idiot…if I’m going to go to the stoney lonesome, it won’t be for a bunch a videogames I can promise you that!

    -At my current job, we had a lady from another floor use the bafroom on our floor and she came out with a handful of “feminine products.” She didn’t work for our company and the building manager (who knew this was going on) happened to be on the same elevator she got into. How would like to be fired for that?

    Reply
  30. madz1962 says

    October 18, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Lasagna is definitely better the second time around. ANd soups usually taste good on the rebound, too.

    I’ve been the victim of office theft. Somebody stole a laptop bag of mine. Other weird shit went missing off of desks. I mean, how twisted could someone be to rob another of some sentimental doo-dad?

    ABout 6 months ago, for the first time in my life, I gave a waiter about 4% of the bill. We were in a Mexican restaurant and as soon as he fucked up, he’d act ike he couldn’t speak English. The act got tired fast. Hence the shitty tip.

    Reply
    • Joe T. says

      October 18, 2010 at 5:24 pm

      I think lasagna is the best about an hour out of the oven. That way the molten cheese doesn’t burn my mouth while I’m shoving it down.

      Reply
      • madz1962 says

        October 18, 2010 at 5:29 pm

        I don’t know, Joe T. sometimes I think the mark of a great pizza or lasagna is the dangling roof skin that was scorched off! LOL

        Reply
  31. Mark0510 says

    October 18, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Fired for stealing tale:

    About 5 years ago I was was ops manager at an automotive company. As I came in one morning I was met by a fella off the night shift who was very upset and wanted to report that someone had stolen a sandwich from out of his bag during the night.

    As we have a security camera in the canteen it didn’t take long to find the person who took it, and he was duly sacked.

    Someone then asked what kind of sandwich must have been worth risking your job for, and within minutes we were running a book for 2 pounds a go. With 30 poundsin the kitty it was left to me to call up the “victim” at home in order to “tie up loose ends”. With everyone standing around the phone he stated that it was Tuna Mayo. One bloke behind me punched the air and shouted “yes” while everyone else booed and hollered obscenities. I just managed to put the phone down in time so all he heard was “you cun…”

    Reply
    • Valentin says

      October 18, 2010 at 5:48 pm

      LOL that’s hilarious.

      Reply
    • Jenny Piccalo says

      October 18, 2010 at 11:11 pm

      Best “stealing” story of the day !

      Reply
  32. WB in OH says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    I have a 16 quart stock pot, when I make chili I’ll just about fill that mother up. After it has cooled I put all but a couple of helpings in individual containers and freeze them. Chili for the year in one afternoon. It’s almost that time of year.

    Reply
  33. icecycle66 says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    Gumbo is my favorite second time around food. I think most people will agree that it is always better the day after it is cooked.

    I designed what amounts to febreeze for food and it works great on fried stuffs. So, left over chicken is really good, but only if I have my “Food Refresher” handy.

    Reply
    • Valentin says

      October 18, 2010 at 5:46 pm

      Does this involve alcohol or some kind of herbal stuff?

      Reply
      • icecycle66 says

        October 18, 2010 at 9:16 pm

        No it is exxentially a chilled vegatbable tea. That is all I am telling. I don’t want somebody else making a million dollars off my idea.

        I have dozens of examples of original ideas iv’had just to see someone else i’ve never met make a load off of it.

        Reply
        • Gretchen says

          October 19, 2010 at 12:43 am

          Existential vegan babble tea. I think I’d keep that under lock and key too.

          Reply
  34. Joe T. says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    “Wotta portly douche.” LOL!

    Best food the next day…stuffed cabbage, or as we call them in this neck of the woods, “piggies.”

    Reply
  35. Valentin says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    Just checking to see if I can post. I had two at work but somehow they didn’t make on the page. It kept saying my message was awaiting moderation or something or the other. We’re being censored Man!!!

    Reply
  36. Valentin aka Tino says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    Fucking bullshit work computer with your fucking proxy’s and your garbage retardedness. Is that even a word?

    Reply
  37. Valentin aka Tino says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    there it is again man. big brother is looking over our shoulder now.

    Reply
  38. Valentin says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    lets see if this one works.

    Reply
  39. Tino says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    ok now under a new name.

    Reply
  40. Valentin says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    if you try and use a different name it gets moderated.

    Reply
  41. Brittney says

    October 18, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Haha, Ben and I went out to eat at an Olive Garden a few months ago with his mom and younger sister. Our waiter came up to us and gave us roughly a 3 minute ‘icebreaker’ which we were not interested in hearing, and was the complete opposite of Jeff’s waiter. He was a skinny and very tall and was very unattentive. When he would actually come back to our table, he was always really sarcastic. It was like he was trying to be funny and entertaining but just sounded rude and obnoxious. Ben’s sister had a black mass floating in her drink, and she asked for a new one. Without so much as an apology, he took it, and did not bring out a new one for close to 15-20 minutes, I believe we already had our food by the time he finally brought it. We asked for a refill on the salad and breadsticks, and never got them. Naturally, my marsala chicken came with mushrooms I kindly asked to be left off. None of us ever got refills except for his sister’s second turdless water. It was just a horrible experience, and his selling tatics and suave speeches were nothing but annoying. He was all talk and no help. Needless to say, he got $5 bucks on an $85 dollar bill.

    Reply
  42. johnthebasket says

    October 18, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    You paid the bill????

    Reply
    • Brittney says

      October 18, 2010 at 8:49 pm

      Well minus the mushrooms, the food was good, he just sucked bad.

      Reply
  43. WVKay says

    October 18, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    I worked for an attorney in a small law firm who told the client that he had negotiated a $1 million settlement, which he had not. He then wrote a $1 million check on the firm’s account. In an effort to pay the money back before anyone noticed, he borrowed $1 million from his father-in-law and was going to try to sneak it back into the account. What a douchenozzle. Not only did he get fired, but his actions created lawsuits galore. It was one of the strangest situations I’ve ever experienced.

    Reply
  44. dto says

    October 18, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    @ bikerchick…but it just seems so right when you say it.

    (see there…I can kick it old school when I wanna…nanner, nanner.)

    Reply
    • bikerchick says

      October 19, 2010 at 9:10 am

      dto: Yes…I do have a way with dirty words….
      >>heavy sigh<<

      Reply
  45. hot fuzz says

    October 18, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    From 89 to 93 or so I was a regional accounting manager for a very large school bus company. I had a long standing animosity against this loud mouthed miserable old fuck named R. 6′ 2″, 260 lbs of 70 yr old semi retired self important country prick who knew everything already and had all the subtlety of a combine harvester. His brother B was a little thinner and a little more stupid.

    We had a long running thing where I would say your >60 day receivables is getting quite large can we please start to track the collection calls? They would both bring in the AR report with big exaggerated check marks on it and throw it across the board room table at me and say “every goddamn one paid, you need to do your fucking job”…. and then our boss would try to pry my fingers from his throat… month after month after month…I would say, please show me the deposit slip and I’ll fix it right away…. never happened.

    Finally, I was able to convince our boss that we should at least go to the police to see how to investigate. Of course no one ever said good job for identifying the theft…. for the brothers it was more of a case of “don’t you think you’re hot shit you little punk, it’s probably your goddamn fault in the first place” . Thousands and thousands of dollars a week over 4 or 5 months. They were upset that the cop put her in the back of the cruiser ” they didn’t need to goddamn do that”…

    It’s been 15 years… maybe they’re both dead by now. See, I can see the positive side.

    The brother, B, did say “come to think of it she did seem to buy a lot of stuff ..TV, pool, home repairs, snow blower, ATV, skidoos…and would always spend a lot at the coffee truck”

    They always made me think of the “you got a purdy mouth” boys. I can almost hear R saying “hold him still goddammit and not so muck baby oil – the little fucker almost got away that time goddammit”

    Reply
    • Son of Sam says

      October 19, 2010 at 12:44 pm

      hot
      I’m missing something here who is the “she” in this story?

      Reply
      • hot fuzz says

        October 19, 2010 at 7:28 pm

        sorry… she was the office clerk who did the receivables… bank deposit etc…

        oops

        Reply
  46. hot fuzz says

    October 18, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    muck s/b much

    Reply
  47. hot fuzz says

    October 18, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    I’d happily trade in the reply button for an edit button

    bikerchick said cock

    Reply
  48. m says

    October 18, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    I love soups leftover. I also love cold pizza. I worked night shift for years, though, so I’ll eat just about anything cold and leftover. If you ever want to kill an entire unit’s worth of nurses, put tainted food in the break room, we’ll eat it without even questioning its origins.

    As for workplace theft, I know several health care workers who’ve been politely asked to leave because they helped themselves to the prescription meds.

    Reply
  49. Brittney says

    October 18, 2010 at 11:03 pm

    I know this sounds weird, but ever since I was a kid I have always liked McDonalds cheeseburgers reheated. Random I know. Except during my weight loss journey I’ve really discouraged myself against eating WacArnolds.

    Worst thing reheated = sea food. It’s just not possible. It will never taste as good no matter how it’s reheated.

    Reply
  50. Tim says

    October 18, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    This is so strange all this talk of chili. I just learned that an old woman I used to know that wore gold shoes, made great hot dog chili. And I am going to try and get the recipe from her granddaughter.

    I am told she made a pretty good pound cake that used a full dozen eggs.

    Reply
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