You have to pee. Think about it for a second, really stop and think. You need to pee.
Did it work? Let me know in the comments, and thanks for your dedication to scientific research.
Remember how I recently went ’round and ’round with a “well-known electronics chain?” If not, you can read about it here. In a nutshell the store-level employees were dumbasses (my interpretation of events), and I ended up buying a computer through the company’s website, to avoid further dealings with said shitpouches.
The only problem was the financing. They were offering eighteen months same-as-cash at the store, but not online. So I spoke with someone in their customer service department, explained the situation, and they gave me the same deal.
I knew it would be a problem, though. In fact, here’s how I ended the original rant:
But how much you want to bet I have many, many hassles with the financing? Anyone care to take that bet? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Indeed, when we received the first bill for my new NASA computer, they had it listed as free financing through the end of 2008 only. Not exactly eighteen months, right? It was all so predictable, my hand didn’t even whip through my hair.
A few days ago I called them up again, equipped with detailed notes and the “case number” identifying the conversation in which the original promises had been made.
And they didn’t seem surprised, either. In fact, I suspect they did it on purpose. The free financing was immediately adjusted to eighteen months, then the woman tried to sell me a bunch of additional crap I don’t want or need. Grrr…
Am I wrong to be irritated by this? Their store people suck a bent one, they make me promises on the phone, the promises aren’t kept, and then they try to up-sell me when I call to get it straightened out?
Stay down, hand. Just stay down…
That store’s main competitor, who is even terribler still, is having all manner of financial troubles. I’m sure you’ve read about it in all the virtual papers, no need for me to specifically name them… I think they closed a bunch of locations recently, and filed for bankruptcy.
And the reasons aren’t too hard to figure out. They never had sale items, and I mean NEVER. You could be there when the place opened on Sunday, the day the weekly flier was distributed, and they wouldn’t have what you came for. Or you could wait until the end of the week, it didn’t matter.
That made me crazy. Plus, the employees were an infuriating mix of aggressive sales weasels (when you weren’t planning to buy anything), and uninterested big-pants idiots wearing pearl necklaces and ludicrous facial hair (when you actually needed help).
However… Last Sunday they advertised the GPS unit Toney and I want, for a ridiculously low price. It was listed as Black Friday Prices Now! And it was a damn good deal. The thing usually sells for $299, but is sometimes on sale for $249. They had it for $189.
So, being a glutton for punishment, I went over there (again). And it was an amazing thing to behold. Everything had changed.
There was a greeter by the front door, who was friendly without being pushy. And as we made our way into the belly of the store everyone wanted to assist us, bending over backwards to be helpful. Plus, they all looked like regular folks. What did they do with the sullen assholes with Rolling Rock bottle caps embedded in their earlobes? I don’t know, and don’t care.
And the most amazing part? They actually had the GPS units we’d come for, seven or eight of them. I couldn’t believe it; I almost dropped a rectal plate.
When we went to the front to pay there were lines at every register. So a manager (I think) came rushing over, and offered to ring us up in customer service. It was a completely new experience.
Who knows? If they’d started treating people with respect ten years ago, they might not be fighting for survival now. It’s amazing what desperation can do, it really is.
And I need to cut this one a little short; the boys are home half-day from school, and it sounds like a rock concert in the middle of a Chuck E. Cheese in here.
I’ll leave you now with a question about “comfort TV.” Recently we spoke about comfort food, something you turn to that somehow has the power to make everything seem OK in the world. Even when it isn’t.
I think there are certain TV shows with the same power, and for me it would be The Andy Griffith Show, Green Acres, and stuff like Gilligan’s Island. All very familiar, innocent, and goofy… What about you? Are there any television programs which scratch that particular itch for you?
In addition to TV, I also turn to old time radio, and specifically Jean Shepherd. When I’m stressed at work (which is happening more and more), I turn to Jean and he somehow takes the edge off. I cling to my iPod like a life preserver…
So, there ya go. If you have anything on this subject, or any subject for that matter, tell us about it in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.