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Ranking the Seasons and Days of the Week, and an Open Apology to the Weatherman

July 1, 2013 By Jeff

check-listIt feels like I’m inside the devil’s peehole. Summer is bullshit. It’s something I endure, not enjoy. The heat and humidity, and everything just growing and growing and growing… It’s suffocating, and demoralizing. Fall can’t get here soon enough. This crap eats it from the ass-in.

Once again, here’s how I rank the seasons:

1. Fall
2. Spring
3. Winter
4. Summer

Just like in politics, I don’t like extremes on either end of the spectrum. I prefer cold to hot, though. So, there you are. The less-extreme seasons are at the top, ranked cold, then hot. How would you rate ’em?

Also, I’ve never liked Sundays. Since we’re airing our grievances… They’re far too lazy for my tastes. I’ve got nothing against laziness, mind you. But I need some vibrancy around me. I like to be the lazy sack at the eye of the storm. Ya know? Sundays are limp, and depressingly dull.

Saturdays are good, though. And so are Thursdays and Fridays. I like those light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel days. It gives me hope. Monday through Wednesday are not good days, but better than Sunday. The days of the week, ranked:

1. Saturday
2. Friday
3. Thursday
4. Wednesday
5. Tuesday
6. Monday
7. Sunday

What are your thoughts on this important issue?

Remember how I was criticizing the weather “geniuses” for scaring us off from a planned trip to Knoebels on Thursday? Well, I guess I owe them an apology? The place almost got washed out to sea.

We went to dinner that night, at Cracker Barrel, and some high-weirdness happened. I was sitting there shoveling forkfuls of chicken and dumplin’s into my complaint hole, when everybody’s phone started shrieking.

It was a severe weather alert, and every phone in the house received it. At first I thought it might be a dispatch from Obama (“Obey!”), but soon figured it out. The message told us to take shelter, ’cause some bad shit is on its way. It was disconcerting, to have every phone go off like that.

Yeah, and everybody just kept on eating.

We’re now past the halfway mark on the new Surf Report shirts, heading toward the final days. If you haven’t pre-ordered, now’s the time. Here’s your link. Both designs are a thing of beauty, and the printer said he’d try to turn them around within 10 days. So, order away! After next Monday at noon, they’re gone forever.

I’ve been planning a new feature for the site, which I think will be fun. I’m going to try to start it on Friday, so stay tuned. If all goes well, it will be a regular every-Friday thing. I think you guys will like it. I’ve got several unusual ideas for this suffocating summer, and beyond.

Oh, and I posted this kinda-sorta book review on Saturday.

I need to go to work now, my friends.  If you’d like to rank things in the comments section, please do so.  You don’t need to stop at just the seasons and days of the week.  Rank your asses off!  Just choose a category, and go to town.

Thanks for stopping by here every day, it’s sincerely appreciated.

See ya again tomorrow!

Now playing in the bunker
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Filed Under: Daily

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Art in Texas says

    July 1, 2013 at 1:46 pm

    First?

  2. chill says

    July 1, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    I feel like a pile of number 2.
    .

  3. Root 66 says

    July 1, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    You are spot-on with the seasons. Fall is by far the winner while summer is best spent in the A/C down in the man-cave!

    I’ve never really considered ranking the days of the week before, but here goes:
    Friday is my favorite;
    Saturday;
    Sunday;
    Thursday;
    Wednesday;
    Monday; and finally,
    Tuesday.
    Tuesday stinks because the previous weekend is a distant memory and the up-coming weekend is way too far away!

  4. Dogberry says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    Saturday, Friday, Thursday, [Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday], Sunday.

    Spring, Summer, Fall, anything else, Winter.

    Hamburgers, Brats, Hotdogs.

    Football, Baseball, Other.

    Cutting grass, cleaning gutters, shoveling snow, raking leaves

    • Clueless says

      July 1, 2013 at 2:13 pm

      raking leaves is more fun than cleaning gutters

  5. Clueless says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Spring, fall, summer, winter

    Friday, the other days

    Cookies, spinach and other veggies, wine

    Elmo, Cookie Monster, Oscar

  6. TR says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    My phone went off for one of those emergency alerts the other day and damn near gave me a heart attack. I never saw or heard that before on my phone. It also did it this morning while I was sleeping making me jump out of my sleep. I don’t care for that shit. Any way to turn those notifications off?

    • Dogberry says

      July 1, 2013 at 3:18 pm

      The iPhone setting for these is at the bottom of Settings>Notifications>Government Alerts>Emergency Alerts

      • TR says

        July 1, 2013 at 3:55 pm

        I have an android phone but it was pretty much the same, turned it off. Thanks.

        • Seanette says

          July 1, 2013 at 7:02 pm

          Can’t find that on my Android phone.

  7. Billy Joel says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    Ringo, George, John, Paul

    beer, bourbon, wine, sterno

    birth, school, work, death

  8. Griff says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    Seasons: Spring, Fall, Summer, Winter

    Days: Saturday, Sunday, Friday, Thursday, Monday, Tuesday Wednesday

    Liquor: Bourbon, Vodka, Rum, Scotch, Gin

    WVSR Commenters: Funny, Topical, Jeff Reply, verbose storytellers, spambots, Firsters

    • Max says

      July 2, 2013 at 1:25 pm

      Spot on ranking of the days.

  9. icecycle66 says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    The worst season and the best season in south Arizona are the same, it’s monsoon season.

    I totally get why Indians did rain dances and people worship clouds and stuff, after 360 straight days of sunshine, rain is literally quenching your thirst.

    And while summer heat is “at least dry heat”, monsoon heat is not dry. It was 100 degrees outside immediately after it rained an inch or so. it is exactly like a sauna outside when that happens, but you can’t walk around with your unharnessed balls dragging the ground. Hold your head over a boiling pot of water until it’s too hot to bear, then don’t move your head. Just stand there for however long it takes you to walk from your car to the store. That’s what monsoon season is like. But, it only lasts for a few weeks.

  10. icecycle66 says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    Oh, our other seasons are “Summer” and “Hot Summer”.

    We don’t really do normal seasons here.

  11. The Qweezy Mark says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    Jim beam, wine, beer, meth.

  12. Patty in Cleveland says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    I’m with you on the seasons Spring, Fall, Winter, Summer with Spring only slightly edging out Fall.

  13. madz1962 says

    July 1, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer

    Saturday, Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, Sundeay, Tuesday, monday

    Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief

    cherry, blueberry, pumpkin, key lime pie.

    Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Easter

    On top, sideways, missionary

  14. Henderson says

    July 1, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish

  15. WB in OH says

    July 1, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    Fancy beers, bourbon, rye, wine, fizzy yellow beer, vodka, scotch, rum.

  16. Root 66 says

    July 1, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    -Mary Ann, Ginger, Mrs. Howell

    -Krispy Kreme, Dunkin’ Donuts, Tim Horton’s

    -Quizno’s, Jimmy John’s, Potbelly’s, Subway

    -Erin, Mary-Ellen, Olivia, Grandma Walton, the Baldwin Sisters, Elizabeth

    -hot dogs, apple pie, baseball, Chevrolet

    Hey! I think I’m starting to get the hang of this!

    • madz1962 says

      July 1, 2013 at 4:25 pm

      Speaking of donuts, has anyone tried those new “cronuts?” or whatever the hell they’re called. They go by a few names.It’s a combination donut and croissant. they look so damn good but I don’t know where to get my mitts on one.

      • Root 66 says

        July 1, 2013 at 4:41 pm

        Never heard of that. I must live a sheltered existence. Sounds good, though!

        • madz1962 says

          July 1, 2013 at 5:15 pm

          If this helps:

          http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/newsmakers/cronut-creator-dominique-ansel-no-one-pastry-chef-165623355.html

      • chill says

        July 1, 2013 at 7:07 pm

        It seems you can get one at Dominique Ansel’s bakery in NYC if you’re willing to camp out. That’s relatively close to home for you, Madz, right?

        When I first saw a picture of a “cronut” a couple of months ago, I thought it wouldn’t be too complicated to make. Just make puff pastry, cut out the shape with a doughnut cutter, and fry. But would certainly take a lot of experimenting to get it right.
        .

    • Bill in WV says

      July 1, 2013 at 4:29 pm

      Poor Elizabeth. I can see your reasoning for putting the Baldwin Sisters ahead of her (free recipe), but Grandma Walton? For one, she was a sack-o-meat bag and, two she was a bitch and a half. I think I cheered when she had a stroke.

  17. chill says

    July 1, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    Fall, winter, spring, summer.
    Saturday, Friday, Sunday, Thursday, the others.
    Fancy beer, Scotch whisky, wine, gin, ,…, bourbon.
    Salt, fat, sugar.
    Taxes, death.
    Trek, Wars.
    .

    • icecycle66 says

      July 1, 2013 at 4:51 pm

      Picard, Kirk

  18. Phantom Railfan says

    July 1, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    –Marathon, BP, Shell, ExxonMobil, Valero, Sunoco
    –Summer, Spring, Fall, Winter
    –Pumpkin, Lemon Meringue, Chocolate
    –Baked, Mashed, Fried, Boiled
    –College, Junior High, Elementary, Vocational-Technical-Trade, High School
    –Double Quarter Pounder, Filet-O-Fish, McChicken, Chicken McNuggets
    –Flea Markets, Garage Sales, Salvation Army, Goodwill

  19. icecycle66 says

    July 1, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    Distortion, wah, octave, phaser, reverb, delay

    ESP, G&L, Ibanez, Gibson, Fender

    Jason, Freddy, Pumpkinhead, Mike Myers, Pinhead

    tits, ass

  20. bikerchick says

    July 1, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    Fall, Spring, Winter, Summer. I love the stuff we do in the summer…riding, camping, vacation, deck parties at home… But I can’t take the heat. I sweat like a ho on dollar night at the moment humidity rears its ugly head.

    Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons.

    Beef, pork, chicken

    Football, hockey, baseball

    The Godfather, Casino, Goodfellas

    • bikerchick says

      July 1, 2013 at 6:22 pm

      Oh, and…..

      Saturday, Friday, Sunday, Thursday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday. Although, to be honest, Friday *night* is my favorite of all.

  21. icecycle66 says

    July 1, 2013 at 6:20 pm

    Within 12 months there wilil be mayo flavored soda.

    http://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/wordpress/2013/07/01/review-lesters-fixins-ranch-dressing-soda/

    • Seanette says

      July 1, 2013 at 7:03 pm

      (gag) (retch)

    • chill says

      July 1, 2013 at 7:16 pm

      It’s nice to know that mayo soda is coming. I’m holding out for the newer soda flavors: Cheese and Onion, Buffalo Wing and Thousand Island.
      .

    • chill says

      July 1, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      And plus: http://threewordphrase.com/spicy.htm
      .

  22. The 4th Stooge says

    July 1, 2013 at 7:33 pm

    Larry, Shemp, Curly, Moe.

    Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer (Spring’s 3rd due to St. Louis having weird-ass spring seasons–sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it snows)

    Friday, Saturday, Thursday, Tuesday, Monday, Sunday.

    Ahem. The worst day in the week is a Sunday, as noted above, but even worst is a HOT Sunday. Second worst is a Sunday when you’re sick and need to go to an emergency room (or call the doctor), but you were too stupid to do this on a weekday TO the doctor so you could get admitted to the hospital…

    In closing, Sundays suck, regardless of what cartoons are on FOX later that evening.

  23. Lori in Cbus says

    July 1, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    off topic but i just saw this vid on wimp.com and thought Jeff and co would enjoy:

    Its rare color footage of a game in 1939 between the Yankees and Reds at Yankee stadium..

    http://www.youtube.com/user/RUMORINTOWN/videos

    alot of hats in those days

  24. Lori in Cbus says

    July 1, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    Now back to the Devil’s Peehole

  25. Lori in Cbus says

    July 1, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter

    the WVSR, Dlisted, AboveTopSecret

    Football, Football, Baseball

    Bacon, brats, Ham, Pork butt,
    and finally,

    dick. (that’s rank enough)

  26. LarryFromCa says

    July 1, 2013 at 8:32 pm

    I thought I was the only one who thought Sunday’s sucked. I have always felt that way, even as a kid. I feel better now.

  27. Root 66 says

    July 2, 2013 at 8:22 am

    -Sean Connery, Daniel Craig, Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, George Lazenby, Timothy Dalton.

    • madz1962 says

      July 2, 2013 at 8:51 am

      AGREED!

    • Max says

      July 2, 2013 at 1:38 pm

      I also agree!

  28. Al K. Hall says

    July 2, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Summer, Spring, Fall, Winter.
    Saturday, Friday, Sunday, Thursday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday.
    George, Paul, John, Ringo.

    • Al K. Hall says

      July 2, 2013 at 1:42 pm

      Perez, Bench, Rose, Morgan.

  29. Uncle_Wedgie says

    July 2, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    Dirty Sanchez, Hot Carl, Golden Shower

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