It feels like I’m inside the devil’s peehole. Summer is bullshit. It’s something I endure, not enjoy. The heat and humidity, and everything just growing and growing and growing… It’s suffocating, and demoralizing. Fall can’t get here soon enough. This crap eats it from the ass-in.
Once again, here’s how I rank the seasons:
Just like in politics, I don’t like extremes on either end of the spectrum. I prefer cold to hot, though. So, there you are. The less-extreme seasons are at the top, ranked cold, then hot. How would you rate ’em?
Also, I’ve never liked Sundays. Since we’re airing our grievances… They’re far too lazy for my tastes. I’ve got nothing against laziness, mind you. But I need some vibrancy around me. I like to be the lazy sack at the eye of the storm. Ya know? Sundays are limp, and depressingly dull.
Saturdays are good, though. And so are Thursdays and Fridays. I like those light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel days. It gives me hope. Monday through Wednesday are not good days, but better than Sunday. The days of the week, ranked:
What are your thoughts on this important issue?
Remember how I was criticizing the weather “geniuses” for scaring us off from a planned trip to Knoebels on Thursday? Well, I guess I owe them an apology? The place almost got washed out to sea.
We went to dinner that night, at Cracker Barrel, and some high-weirdness happened. I was sitting there shoveling forkfuls of chicken and dumplin’s into my complaint hole, when everybody’s phone started shrieking.
It was a severe weather alert, and every phone in the house received it. At first I thought it might be a dispatch from Obama (“Obey!”), but soon figured it out. The message told us to take shelter, ’cause some bad shit is on its way. It was disconcerting, to have every phone go off like that.
Yeah, and everybody just kept on eating.
We’re now past the halfway mark on the new Surf Report shirts, heading toward the final days. If you haven’t pre-ordered, now’s the time. Here’s your link. Both designs are a thing of beauty, and the printer said he’d try to turn them around within 10 days. So, order away! After next Monday at noon, they’re gone forever.
I’ve been planning a new feature for the site, which I think will be fun. I’m going to try to start it on Friday, so stay tuned. If all goes well, it will be a regular every-Friday thing. I think you guys will like it. I’ve got several unusual ideas for this suffocating summer, and beyond.
Oh, and I posted this kinda-sorta book review on Saturday.
I need to go to work now, my friends. If you’d like to rank things in the comments section, please do so. You don’t need to stop at just the seasons and days of the week. Rank your asses off! Just choose a category, and go to town.
Thanks for stopping by here every day, it’s sincerely appreciated.
See ya again tomorrow!