Q3 Report: The Stuff That’s Pissing Me Off
It’s been raining here for days, and everybody’s walking around saying all the stuff they’re programmed to say: “Well, we really needed it,” etc.
Needed it? According to who? That’s just something people say. What are you, a farmer? Are you worried about the goddamn squash harvest or something? Yeah, you’re not a farmer, you work in accounts receivable…
Every time it rains it sets off a series of events in nature, which inevitably ends with me shoving a vibrating motor on a stick back and forth across a ridiculous lawn, my mannery glands awash in perspiration. I just let Andy out to sling urine, and could almost literally see the blades of grass twitching and lengthening.
Stupid rain, and the stupid series of events… It’s pissing me off.
And since we’re on the subject, I’ve mentioned this before but now it’s getting out of hand. What’s the story with everybody saying “Really?” in an annoying voice, where they used to say “Are you kidding me?” Man, few language fads have bothered me more than this one.
I was complaining about it to Toney yesterday, right before work, and when I got there — immediately upon arrival — I heard two women talking about their dogs and the rain. One said the following:
“And she was prancing around, acting like she needed to go out to pee, so I opened the back door. And when she saw that it was raining, she just turned around and came back into the house. And I was like, really?”
My entire body flexed. I hate that crap, deep down. It bothers me, generally, when half the population simultaneously adopts some trendy language quirk, but this one goes one step beyond. Maybe because the word is usually said in an annoying tone of some kind… I don’t know, but it pisses me off.
It’s even worse than the fad from a few years ago, when everybody was starting sentences with “You know what?”
“Hey, you want some more mashed potatoes?”
“You know what? I think I will.”
WTF? That one made me crazy too. At the height of it, some people were almost literally starting every sentence with that idiocy. But it seems to be fading away, finally. The herd animals have moved on to something new, I guess.
And yesterday I nearly rear-ended someone while driving to work. I’ve also mentioned this one before, but I’m gonna mention it again. ‘Cause it’s ongoing, and infuriating.
I’ve lived in a lot of different places during my life, and only in northeastern Pennsylvania have I encountered so many people who don’t know how to merge onto an interstate highway. They drive to the end of the acceleration lane, STOP, and turn on their blinkers.
Um, that isn’t the way it works, shitstem. You’re supposed to enter the highway at roughly the same speed as existing traffic. It’s why an acceleration lane is provided. You go cranking along that thing, build speed, and slide into traffic.
Not here. You’d better be on your toes, mister, or you’ll drive straight up the poop-chute of someone sitting out there waiting for a full one-mile space between cars. Then they lurch onto the highway traveling at 4 mph. Good god!
There are bad drivers everywhere, especially in Atlanta, but these people up here amaze me. They do stuff I’ve never seen in other places, it’s innovative bad driving. And I guess they see each other doing stupid shit, are inspired by it, and decide to add it to their own repertoire.
And those are three things that are pissing me off in Q3 2010. What about you? What’s pissing you off in the third quarter? Anything new? We need some feedback from the field offices.
Use the comments link below, and I’ll be back tomorrow.
Have a stress-free day, my friends.
Filed under: Daily
1st!
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first? can it be???
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Awe hell WB i was hoping something was going to go my way today!!!
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Fore!!!
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Work has been blowing soggy nuts for at least the entire quarter and that pisses me of.
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Sorry TILLY. Really.
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Jeff – Really? WHATEVER!!!
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I hit the publish button too soon, before I’d added the “shithead” picture. And that also pisses me off.
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There was a time when people sat at red lights slowly creeping up anticipating its change to green. Alas this practice is no more. Now we stop at yellow lights so that we get to SUP…IDK…OMG…WTF…LOL….BRB.
Yesterday I got the finger from some little slut who wouldn’t go when her turn came at the most congested intersection in town because her thumbs were preoccupied. I stopped counted the number of times some little dim-wit is too busy texting to take their turn at one of the dozens of 4-Ways I frequent…GRRRR
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
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stopped counting…
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I blame Saturday Night Live for the spread of “Really?”.
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Pissing me off? You mean today?
Speed limit is 60, you are doing 48. It’s the long skinny pedal on the right, moron.
Autos have turn signals for a reason. Use them!!! Thank you.
I don’t want 42 ounces of Moose Tracks. I want a half gallon.
You have very loud classical music as a ringtone. Who are you, Wagner?
You are a 58 year old man and you have a gray ponytail down to your waist and you are bald on top. Either shave your head or at the very least wash it. You look like an idiot.
That’s good for a start.
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I wonder if people actually think they’re being trendy by saying Really all the time, or if they are just too stupid to think of anything else. I am waiting and waiting for like to drop out of conversation, but I don’t see that happening.
And I was like, Really?
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My infected sinuses are pissing me off. Currently they’re dropping sludge down my throat like it was a mucosal slip and slide and everything’s echoing like I’m underwater. I’m currently waiting on a call from the doctor. Will he just phone in the antibiotics to my local pharmacy and leave it at that? Or will he be a dick and demand I come in so he can say, “Yep, you have a sinus infection all right.” Well no shit. Dude, I’m one snot drop from vertigo setting in, I do not NEED to be on the road!
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uuugh! The bunker cam photo today is creeping me out. Because it reminds me of a totally creeepy picture. Does anyone else remember lemonparty?
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Slip ‘n Slide.
FUCK, it would have been funnier the correct way. And that pisses me off too! >:(
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Banks.
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what’s pissing me off??? really??? heh.
he said shitstem. that was hilarious.
I hate that people don’t seem to know when they are supposed to go at a 4 way stop. drives me crazy!!! i also hate that the new “thing” in my area anyway is to add roundabouts in really strange places.
I hate that i can’t seem to get into the English Comp class i want for the fall semester so i will have to take something stupid instead. i hate that my ex fiance is an asshole thus forcing the ex status into my life. most of all i hate the sound of the voice if the woman who works down the hall from me.
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Things that that piss me off thei s quarter?
- Gulf Coast Oil Spill and BP’s “really?” attitude.
- Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich, but I’m not going to get into that one.
- The lack of any good television programming this summer.
- People who find it their place to walk around with their pants around their butts showing their nasty filthy underwear. Even more pisses me off that they are wearing belts.
- Ugly chicks with tattoos. A tat is not going to make you look any better dear.
- Politicians and sports figures that lie and cheat. Line them all up and shoot them, dead. Really! End of problem.
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Hate to tell ya, but NE PA is not the only place where folks don’t know how to merge onto the highway. It is prevalent here in South Mississippi as well. I even wrote a “Sound Off” to our local newspaper about it a few months back. (That’s the local “tell us anything you’re thinking” column they run every day.)
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Y’know what pisses me off. People who you dedicate two years of your life to in their restaurant, working the thankless job of weekends only, who gradually tell you they can’t afford you but one day, because they are not making any money. Then they tell you “Take the weekend off!” because they are not making any money, and acting like they are doing you the favor by “giving you the weekend off”. Then they tell you that we may need to use you both days this weekend and you tell them that I can’t work Saturday because I am picking up my son that has been in Indian for six weeks, then they say “Well, fine, I’ll just close both days that weekend and we’ll start our vacation early, since you can’t or won’t work.” Then, after the two and a half week vacation, you find out online that the people with NO MONEY, have bought a restaurant in North Carolin and they have closed your weekend place of employment with no notice to you whatsoever. That pisses me off.
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And how about people who are happy to take your application for a part time job, but fail to tell you what “part time” really means, like it really means seven days per week, 4-8 PM. Doesn’t say that in the ad, but that’s what the fuck it means. Thank you troglodyte for wasting my fucking time in printing up a nice resume and cover letter for you.
And how about a state organization that has an opening for a position that might let you crawl out of 1986 wages into a supervisory position…and.. at the last moment, they tell you that lowass contract employees, even though you have the experience, are not eligible for such a golden opportunity.
And, how about a law office that tells you that you are the best candidate for a job they have posted, but when you get there for the interview, they tell you that they were looking for someone in their 20′s or 30′s, and that you probably will have no chance at a job with any law firm at age 49.
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The vocabulary trend that really pissed me of was that whole “Hello?” thing. Whether to get attention “Bob? Bob? HELLO” or just as a dumbtwat add in… “People, HELLO, it was an earthquake!” PISSED. ME. OFF.
What’s pissing me off this Q? I’ve decided I’m not doing DUMB anymore but the rest o society won’t let me. I’m stuck with dumb people in the workplace, dumb people on the roads, dumb people at the supermarket, DUMB DUMB DUMB. It’s pissing me off!
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Wow AWG. I am equally pissed off for you.
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Things are looking bad in the Q3. My right arm, broken in the Q2 looks like a little old man arm. I’m not little, or that old.
“Really?” comes from Seth Myers (Meyers?) on SNL I think. I hate him for it like he owns it anyway. You are correct concerning its rampantness and its insidiousness. It is valuable though, like making idiots wear a badge.
I also hold black hate in my heart for the term, “Going Forward.”
I thought, “from now on” was working just fine.
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Pissing me off?
(other than the “drill baby drill” Sarah Palin and Glen Beck-following fuckheads who want to turn this country into Nazi Germany, but without the good food)
All those goddam unicorns and rainbows out there trying to cheer me up. Fuck you rainbow! Fuck you unicorn!
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NAd…. how about people who shoved it down your throat to elect the trendy new president, but now have decided that the new president is just a continuation of the old regime and they would have never voted for him had they seen this shitty economic time continuing. Like he was supposed to make it all better the first month. Now, they are holding their breath until the next election. This is why I don’t vote, ever!!!!!
And…..How about a car insurance company that won’t pay your own claims, but will pay the guy who you hit from him slamming on his brakes for no reason in a rainstorm? Adjustors come out and take pictures and decide that you were “following too closely” and it must be your fault, although the guy clearly was trying to collect.
And…..How about a SHeriff’s Department who decides that since you have not spent the money for a physical, which you did not have the money, that you are not eligible for their physical fitness thest this year and you will need to start all over again next year, although, you see 300 pound asshole cops that cant run 100 yards strutting around like they own the city and you will never, NEVER get their job until they die of a heart attack.
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AWG – I feel your pain!!! Really!!!
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I’m carrying over being PISSED OFF from the second quarter. I’m waiting for a refund from Hewlett Packard. The sumbitchs misrepresented a large-format printer when they sold it to me, and every day that goes by, I’m (a) risking losing customers, (b) paying interest on that money, and (c) delaying purchasing the right printer because I cannot over extend myself.
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Cheap cologne. That Coolwater or Aqua de Gio knockoff smells like cat piss and chewing tobacco juice. I know that good cologne is expensive but buying a clone for $1 at Dollar Tree isn’t gonna get it. Even Avon has good stuff now for $20 to $30. Try some.
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ANd for some reason people around here have brought back “DYNOMITE!!!!!!” I didn’t like it the first time around and it irks me now.
And, people who say “True dat!” I hate that so much
And people who say “Justin Bieber” Every time that is said, an angel dies a horrible mutilating death (a second time)
And people who say: “Y’know, Tiger had a lot of pressure on him!” Fuck you Tiger! I hope you become a footnote.
Sorry, got a lot of issues right now.
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All those duckies and bunnies can go fuck themselves, too.
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REALLY?! is quite the annoying trend, no doubt. I think I’ll adopt your referring to the general population as the “herd”, but I have grown fond of calling them the “Lemmings”, so we’ll see how that pans out. Maybe the herd will start calling themselves the herd?
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This is what cranks my shaft:
The ass hole who turned left this morning without using the left turn lane. There was an entire lane dedicated to turning left and this shit knuckle was in the FAR RIGHT LANE trying to turn left. Listen up you worthless skin-fungus, I don’t care if you missed the turn. Make the damn block and try it again, don’t cut off an entire street because your tiny goldfish brain forgot where the hell is was going. And get rid of that turd I’m sure is hanging half way out of your butt.
So far this fiscal quarter I have planned to lose 15 employees from a 64 employee company, with the gain of about 30 customers. So after about 200 man hours poured into rebuilding all the operational aspects of how we function I am told that we are actually going to gain 4 employees and all that time was a hypothetical situation that the boss forgot to tell me about not worrying about. That’s bullshit man.
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The fact that this quarter marks 1 year since my house has been on the sale market and it can’t sell because even though it is cheaper and in the same neighborhood realtors are pushing foreclosure homes because they are easier to sell to people who still can’t afford them. And because I can actually afford keeping my house on the market it is more difficult to sell for some unknown reason and the realtors don’t seem to give a shit that it is sitting there with more expensive house being sold all around it.
I hate realtors.
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AngryWhiteGuy – I couldn’t agree with you more – I hope Tiger Woods falls off a fucking cliff chasing after his dimpled balls.
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I mean, Hello! it;s only golf!
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Shit that pisses me off:
#1. The older man in the grocery line behind me today with 3 items huffing and hemming the entire time because the lady in front of me and I have a a cart full(we are in a normal lane, I made sure to check). I had three kids with me, was not in a charitable mood so I didn’t let him go. Then before I am done he elbows me out of the way(almost literally) to write his damn check!! who the frick writes a check anymore…honest to God. get a frigging debit card asshat, and get in the express lane.
#2 people in general. I am getting more introverted with age and really don’t care to go back to work in society. nope. not a bit. I knew I should have went to college to be a damn biologist or something. If anyone wants to outsource to me for meager income, let me know. for real. I am super dependable, have a great work ethic. I can type well and email like a pro. hook me up.
#3 I love reading about the time of the Romans and Cleopatra because if there was some sort of fuckery people just lopped off their heads or let them be eaten for sport. I bet if we still had that, survival of the fittest would come in handy and dumb people might get weeded out.
#4 When people see me with said children out and about and must comment on how hard it is. I know I am a pain in the ass and my kids are noisy, but deal. I have three boys ages 6, 3 and 1.5 how the fuck do you think it is??? aaagggghhhh
#5 Are we really supposed to be sorry for Tiger Woods?? I mean honestly?? Poor guy, blah blah blah. You have enough money, go buy some smokes and a beer. take a load off. (not like that Tiger, for cripes sake)
ok. you guys have a great day now.
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How about “I know, right?” to everything!!!!
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What happened to the good ole days when people would be told to “talk to the hand”, while being implored “Don’t go there” (yadda yadda yadda)
Peace Out
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You know what? Lots of things piss me off.
Really!!
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PA doesn’t have the corner on people who don’t know how to merge. Raleigh and the area has it’s fair share of those. Maybe they all moved her from PA.
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Jeff has struck a nerve with this one.
“I was like, really?”
I was not dissimilar to, REALLY
I was exceedingly near being the same as, REALLY!!
There was little distinction between myself and REALLY!!!
How in the name of Hey-Zoos H. Farking Smith can you be the same or nearly the same as “REALLY” dammit?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahem…sorry…
Proper English is not that hard, really.
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Arkansas has the market cornered on moronic drivers. It’s Arkansas for God’s sake. There is a military base about 20 miles north of Little Rock that has expressway off-ramps that end in a stop sign approximately two blocks from where you exit @ 70 mph. Who was the highway planning genius who came up with this idea? Also the cost of cigarettes pisses me off. I realize I’m not supposed to smoke but Jesus…….I don’t do drugs anymore and rarely drink so making cigarettes $45.00 a pack chaps my ass. Saying like 8 times a sentence also irritates me. People who get government housing assistance, food stamps, and free daycare but drive a 2010 Cadillac Escalade truly piss me off. Generally all television commercials are irritating to me but especially those that are 3 times the volume of the television show you are watching.
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Stuff that’s pissing me off in Q3… getting two different staph infections on my face. The second one developed this past weekend, and I saw my doctor about it this morning. It’s no big deal, and it won’t lead to any scarring or anything… but I look like one of the 16-year-old zit factories that works at McDonald’s.
And then my girlfriend tells me that I shouldn’t consume alcohol while I’m on the antibiotics. Yes, I know that… but I’m going to drink anyway. How else do you expect me to cope with my face looking like a map of volcanic islands?
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That little fat shit in the classic link just boils my blood.
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People that comment “1st” in a forum…as if it is some sort of life accomplishment.
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Similar to REALLY?! is
SERIOUSLY?!
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Like some people, I am usually pretty anxious to get out of work. I get in my car, and I shoot home 70 miles per hour on a back road that is usually practically vacant. Yesterday, I am driving home and an old woman in a van decides she wants to go 35 down this virtually empty road. As I’m trying to pass her, she veers ever so slightly into the middle of the road, and repeatedly hits her brakes. I finally gunned in and got around her old ass. If I had hit her, what good would that have done anyone? Stupid bitch.
Something that has really pissed me off today though is the ignorance of the students at the medical school I work for, and their parents. I completely understand that the parents would be concerned with tuition issues, or problems on statements. Most are paying for it, so I understand. But, some of these students are in their mid 20′s, early 30′s, and will have their parents call us still to yell at us about things! I had a student’s mother call me today and bitch at me for 10 minutes because I didn’t return her daughters e-mail that I’d gotten only an hour before that! She wanted an answer RIGHT THEN, and the best part is that the girl hasn’t paid any tuition yet or done the requirements to start! Stuff like that really boils me. I also get frequent calls throughout the day from students ‘demanding’ that I prepare a letter for them, or ‘demanding’ that I make them a priority above others. In fact, I was interrupted during me typing this by a kid asking me to do just that, and I asked him, “How can I make you a priority when I have 20 pending files for other students who are just as important?’ and he hung up on me. We get treated like this by these little assholes.
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Correction: Get treated like shit*…dammit.
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Wow, and I thought we were such a cheerful bunch Irritating: The people that are younger than 25 (and anyone else really) using the phrase ‘back in the day’. Shut the fuck up! you are practically an embryo!
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What pisses me off… more so than other times of the year?
Busy bodies. Those that feel the need to call up some politico or buisness and bitch about something they perceive you did.
On my street, currently under construction and getting bottle necks put in (lane narrowing) because two cock sucking idiots think everybody drives too fast. Never mind that everybody else on the street thinks these bottle necks are the stupidest thing in existence and a winter hazard… those valid concerns fall on deaf ears when brought up at the info meeting. So a room full of people who don’t want them-who live on the street don’t get listened to.
The bitch who called me in because I passed her on a fucking secondary highway. I’m a government employee paid by the hour, you should be glad I have a lead foot.
Alex.
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I was going to complain about the heat here in SoCal, but after reading the above I feel much better.
Given that perspective, an homage to the source of our not-so-much misery:
Up in the mornin’
Out on the job
Work so hard for my pay
But that lucky old sun’s got nothin’ to do
But roll around heaven all day
Show me that river
Take me across
Wash all my troubles away
Whilst that lucky old sun’s
Got nothin’ to do
But roll around heaven all day
Really.
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Today’s further evidence made made me piss a little. I love that the guy just lays there.
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It amazes me how many ppl are pissed off at general things in life………….really??? Such a negative site……….
You know what pisses me off?? That you HAVE to use a fucking smiley face, to justify sarcasm!!!
tootles,
good to be back it’s been a while
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Sometimes I wonder if Brittney is a real person or an elaborate JK ruse. I mean it only as a compliment.
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Ok, I got a few.
1st, what the fuck was up with yesterday? I went to Wal-Mart and that place was more fucked up than normal. PLus it was full of mexicans. I have nothing against mexicans (just 1, actually) but these were all over the place, in the way, and I stand by my statement that you don’t have to be white to be white trash. Is there a mexican version of Old Country Buffet? Well if there is it was closed yesterday.
Also the drivers in OKC were just flat out shitdicks yesterday.
From Sunday – What part of “I really don’t feel like talking on the phone so just text me” says “Maybe I should call him 4 seconds after seeing him”?
From today/the weekend:
I was informed that I wasn’t aggressive enough with our support network. Basically I rolled over on Friday when I was told that the work wouldn’t be accomplished until Monday. Where I’m pissed is that no amount of me throwing a fit would have called those people in to work for a customer that they don’t give a shit about.
Subway isn’t going to make my sandwich faster because I act like an asshole, you know?
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Juancho…
I always wondered the same about Angry White Guy. But, over time, I began to see his reality, simultaneous with his presence in all of us. He’s Angry.
Thus, Brittney. Check out her blog. Check out her pix. She’s as real as you or me, only realer.
Brittney, I don’t mean to talk about you as if you weren’t there. Were you not there, I’d have no reason to talk about you at all.
Two sentences in a row in the subjunctive mood. My work here is done. Rock on, Juancho.
jtb
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I wonder if Mexicans go to Aculpoco or Puerto Vallarta and say the same thing about white people. “Jesus, this place is full of gringos! It’s like the Love Boat up in here!” Except in Spanish, of course.
El Barco del amor, putas!!
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I’d like to think they would. Just like in Dubai when all the white folk show up there for the new tourist attractions and amusement parks.
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In Dubai they just laugh all the way to the bank. And then get started on yet another ridiculous construction project. Like a giant gerbil exercise ball stuffed with clowns wearing pantaloons made of spun gold.
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Yeah, I said “pantaloons”.
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El Pelota Del Oro
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You know, I didn’t do the best job of stating the ontological argument for the existence of God. I tried to take short cuts and that usually leads to trouble. Now, if She exists, I’m hurtin’ for certain.
By She, of course, I mean Alanis Morissette or someone like her.
jtb
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Gretchen, you drive me crazy when you speak French.
jtb
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El Pelota De La Alanis Morissette
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I would drive you crazy if I spoke French, since I got a D in it. Apparently French teachers aren’t fond of German-named students.
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Conversely, we had a German teacher who had it in for one Jewish kid. She had a real problem with the way he said “sister”. I got an A in that class.
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you think Alanis is una terrorista? I can’t tell whether you’re Basqueing or not, but I wish you’d go back to French. It drives me crazy.
jtb
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Yeah, I have a problem with the way the Germans say “sister”. Is the name “Gretchen” irrivocably German? Surely you don’t haul a German name around with you now? None of my business, but there aren’t that many Asian men named Adolph.
jtb
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Irrevocably, I’m afraid. Worse yet, it’s not really a proper name in Germany. The addition of “chen” (transl. “little”) to “Greta” is somewhat akin to calling a Jennifer “Jenny” or a Mike “Mikey”. More a nickname or a cutesy thing done with small children.
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Yep, I’m real.
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Gretchen, have you ever been to Nebraska?
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@Tstorm, Wal-mart may be crazy because of the back to school fiasco…It was pretty crazy on Sunday when I went…come to think of it there was a whole family of Mexicans in the shoe section I was in. 4 adults and 3 kids all yelling at each other in Spanish while I was picking out some runnin’ shoes…I said excuse me several times, but obviously they didn’t know what they meant. I got elbowed a few times.
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t-storm: Possibly as a kid but not as an adult.
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Then how do you explain this?
http://www.amazon.com/Gretchen-Goes-Nebraska-Kings-X/dp/B000002IOG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1282693480&sr=8-1
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Somnambulism?
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Remote viewing?
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Astral projection?
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Right in the Ast Hole.
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Anyone that says “you know what I’m sayin?” can be pretty much guaranteed that no, I don’t have a CLUE to what they’re saying. Really.
and “DUDE!” as a greeting or entire conversation makes me itch with unease. HELLO? is that all we can expect from our yoof?
Traffic, email, my crapping cellular service, Wednesdays, yard crullers, douchbaggery, douchketeers, DirectTV, anyone driving the speed limit in the left hand lane and this dog THAT WON’T STOP LICKING ME just PISS me off.
in the 3rd quarter
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Are you counting up my nomesayin’s? Are you takin’ a nomesensus?
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I was at Target last Saturday during tax free weekend. I can assure you that Wallymart hasn’t cornered the goober market.
The proper response to “You know what?” is “chicken butt”, per the SNL skit with Mcauley Culkin and Al Franken. Do that enough and the perpetrators think twice about using it in your presence. I too hate the “back in the day” idiots. What you mean when your mamma still wiped your butt for you 5 years ago? As for road idiots, a few side of the road executions for blatant dumbassery would probably improve the gene pool.
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Ace of Cakes – Would you pay $3k for a cake a half dozen people wiped their hands on? Me neither.
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Just opened the envelope with my wvsr t-shirt – temporarily erased my pissed offness – thanks Jeff.
awg – missed you over the past while. Sorry to hear life’s shitty at the moment, but still missed you.
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I get annoyed with truckers who don’t allow people to drive up the empty lane on the approach to roadworks and ‘merge in turn’, but who instead insist on acting like they are John Wayne’s of the highway and pull out and block your path.
‘There’s an empty lane there and the traffic’s backed up for three miles! Surely it would be better to utilise the empty lane and get home quicker.’
Am I wrong?
Does this happen across there too?
ps some of you guys seem really tense?
Could we have a question like ‘ whats your favourite flavour of ice-cream’ tomorrow/today please?
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What’s pissing me off? Dang, that’s a loaded question with a long answer…
My fellow motorists, in innumerable ways … System designers at work who say “oh, you have the *old* drawings”… The two cars I saw today coming into a shopping plaza on a two-lane entry drive: the one in the left lane turned right, and the one in the right lane turned left … Dell tech support keeps ringing my phone at 7:00 am, or at least that’s who the caller ID says it is. When I answer, there’s nobody there. … Internet connection at home down for three days because my ISP didn’t want to pay OT for a Covad tech to swap out a card, followed by no refund for the outage.
That’s all I can think of right now.
.
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Oh yeah! My T-shirts showed up yesterday! That’s the opposite of off-pissing!
Ian, I make lime ice cream at home; also a raspberry one that’s flavored entirely with Frambozen Lambic beer. They are both pretty good, if I say so myself. The truckers where I live are usually courteous about letting you (me) into a backup, in a situation like that.
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What else pisses me off?
When I’m fucking myself on a slant and the slant has splinters.
Kids these days who where there hat of turds backward.
When you tell two people you’ve never met to make out and take rewindable video and they don’t.
Bears.
When you have a majority in the house and senate and still can’t get anything done and keep blaming the last guy.
When I get sand in my motion lotion.
When I pull out and she still gets pregnant but the kid comes out polish.
I could go on.
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T-storm – that’s funny, did you mean polished or from the land of Poland, funny either way.
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Can’t it be both?
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Ian, there’s a language barrier with our generic highway terms, but I’m sure the same thing happens here. And do we seem tense? Well, the question was “What’s pissing you off?” I think you can expect some strong answers to that question. Things will all be back to normal tomorrow.
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Ian the Errolite,
I’m with you. I’ve been complaining about that for years. And I’ve almost caused several of them to flip over because I refuse to put up with their shit.
Same holds true for Alabama drivers. They have no concept of “the passing lane” or “the fast lane”. I can almost hear them as I’m pulling behind them, “Well, I’m going the speed limit. He’ll just have to wait.” Who named you speed enforcer of the roads, bitch in the Buick? Get out of the way before I ass-end you or blow your tiny “brain” out.
Old people are the worst. Why do they drive so fucking slow? You’d think that time would be of the essence for someone that’s 100 years old. But no, they piddle dick around and try to kill the rest of us. I pledge that I will not slow down upon turning 80 – nay, I’ll speed up.
I can’t begin to list all of the things I hate. We don’t have that much paper in here.
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Currently pissing me off:
1. Everything.
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What’s been under my skin in 3Q and for the last 15 to 20 years are the words “My bad.” Two words, spoken as a complete phrase, when in fact comprising just two adjectives. And it wouldn’t get better even if the speaker included the implied noun. “My bad mistake.” You’re still missing the verb, sir. Maybe we could all resort to the more personal, “It was my fault. I’m sorry.”? Call me old school…
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1. Incompetents who I pay to do a job right the first time, but inevitably they don’t and I end up doing it for them.
2. Same as #1 but includes Geeks at Best Buy who kept losing my new laptop pc programming order. Each time I called to pick up my pc, the Geek Squad Guy who was supposed to program it wasn’t there, and the next Geek had no idea what to do. Of course he promised to do what the geek before him failed to, and then he went AWOL… That went on for 3 darn days! I got satisfaction though, believe me!
3. Traffic in the DC/Stafford/Fredericksburg, VA Metro area. I’m convinced ppl are generally very intelligent until they get behind the wheel, then it’s sh*t for brains thereafter.
4. All the nice-nice, positive yap about how everyone loves their friends & family on Facebook. C’mon, if you kept it real and told the truth, you’d admit how much you really want to take them out behind the barn and beat the crap out of them sometimes.
5. Preachers! Mainly those who constantly use politics and Fox news as crib notes for the Bible. Gah!!
Other than that I’m fine
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Jason, funny you bring it up, last time I went down the interstate with my father driving I asked him to get back over in the slow lane to let some people pass but he refused because he didn’t want to get “trapped” behind slower traffic. He had the cruise set at 67, two miles per hour over the limit. That was the last time he drove to lake erie with me along.
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Oh, my reds are really pissing me off!
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Gretchen,
1) Sounds like you’re saying Gretchen is a diminutive form of Greta. It might be “cutesy” but I don’t think it’s quite a nickname. Using Jack for John and Chuck for Charles and Bill for William are closer to nicknames. I frequently suspect you of attempting to conceal your baccalaureate and post-grad degrees. Hell, your baccalaureate (or one of them) is in English. So it’s OK to use the word diminutive.
2) If you got a D because French teachers aren’t fond of German-named students, that doesn’t tell me that you don’t speak French well nor that hearing you speak it wouldn’t drive me crazy.
3) Sometimes I forget about the generation gap. You might have missed my John Astin Addams Family reference. It is, after all, Morticia who drives me crazy with her French.
jtb
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Ian,
Coconut, banana, strawberry chunk generically. Commercially, it woul be Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.
Love,
jtb
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Why, in a forum like this, are, by coincidence, all the commenters excellent drivers when the rest of the drivers are schlubs? What are the odds?
With regard to driving in crowded areas, I rely on Ian’s philosophy to get me hame safely: We’re a’ Jock Tamson’s bairns.
with neep & tattie,
jtb
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I’m a relatively happy person who isn’t pissed off by much of anything. It’s probably because I’m a moron…
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JTB: I’ve been felled by a sinus-ear-upper respiratory infection, so thinking straight isn’t high on my list of priorities. Besides, I was never particularly good at all the little words that explain English grammar. I just “do” grammar well, I don’t explain it well. Mostly. Anyway, while I have seen episodes of The Addams Family I never watched it enough of the show to the extent that I could quote from it (ditto for the original cartoon). However I’m a veritable book of quotations when it comes to Star Wars. I guess it just depends where one’s Geek lies.
And speaking of movies, last night I was telling a twenty-something how hilarious it was for the new Piranha movie to cast Richard Dreyfuss. Crickets. “You know, because of Jaws?!” Double crickets. Have we now gotten to the point that the 25 and Unders have no knowledge or appreciation of the cultural significance of Jaws??!! Shit, when did I get so old?!
Doug: You can go sit out in the hall!
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I hate when I[m late to the party….
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I have a new one. Bus didn’t show up for first day of school. got a hold of the bus company, they informed me they didn’t have a driver for the route…and thats it?? no driver, so those poor kids just stand there forever until they give up??
Hire a few extras, our unemployment rate is like 15%, I am sure you can find a few people.
fuckers. ruined my damn day.
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This is just a sample list of the shit that dangles from my last fucking nerve….
1. Downtown Pittsburgh….The little trick dickbeaters play in the left lane at a light. A line of traffic behind them. Light turns green THEN the left turn signal is turn on. You fucking POS…is there a reason you can’t turn on that signal while APPROACHING the light to give the unassuming people behind you the option to move into the right lane to procede through the light?? No, I guess not. You would rather sit there through 2 or 3 lights afraid to put your nose into the intersection for an opening to make your turn while innocent people, just wanting to get the fuck home, wait behind you.
2. The Port Authority Bus. Jesus H…..Could any one of the bus drivers take their blinders off and actually use those big thingy’s hanging off the side of the bus called “mirrors” to LOOK before moving into the next lane?? Next time, I’ll just let you roll over the front end of my SUV. Its coming up to 60K miles..and 2 transmissions later, .I could use a new car….with Port Authority footing the bill.
3. Can I tell ya about the misfits that come into this office with thier medicaid and access cards, free insurance and huge attitudes like we owe them something? Let me give you good -for-nothings a little advice: If you actually had a real J.O.B. and not hangin’ wit da homey’s maybe your fucking hand wouldn’t have been blown off by a gun in a neighborhood shoot out. So sign the fuck in, sit the fuck down, and shut the fuck up. We’ll get to you when it’s your turn. And by the way…when I take the stitches and staples out of your wound can you keep the moaning and wailing down to a low roar? I don’t give a fuck how much it hurts. You were man enough to use a gun, man-up for the consequences.
Ok…done for now…
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Stuck up government contractors who cost $180,000 a year and don’t do a damn thing, and when you tell the mto do something the say “That isn’t in the contract statement of work, it is illegal for you to ask me to do that.”
Fuck those overpriced morgue drawer fillers.
My favorite ice cream flavor is “Rage”.
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It pisses me off that an entire new organization operations scheduling program was employed last quarter to be utilized for the next quarter, and I just heard about it in this quarter.
This means i missed all the training for the new system and I am 3 months behind on scheduling operations. this is bullshit.
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And as of today, something I am highly pissed off about is American companies that outsource their call center to some third world jack ass country. Then someone who can barely speak English calls you with major attitude saying his name is Chad or Jason or some bullshit and he cant even speak english. You expect me to believe your mother named you Chad? Furthermore, loose your attitude. I cant understand half of what youre saying and you want to be pissy with me?
Alright, I feel better.
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People talking about cake pisses me off!
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Phrases that piss me off –
“Jus’ sayin.” Yeah, we heard you say it. No reason to point out the fact that you said it, dillhole.
“Not so much”. Not much explanation needed, it’s just annoying.
The most current piss-me-off-icfication factor:
My kids “need” laptop computers for school. Per the district. One of them is in SIXTH grade. Dubya. Tee. Eff.
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Ian, Jason the lane blocking is to stop those turd munchers who think they are better than everybody else and can push their way into the front of the line infront of everyone else who is patiently waiting. So, get in line back there (pointing thumb backwards) and wait your time like everybody else.
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Alex,
We aren’t talking about cutting in line. We’re talking about people who misuse the lanes while driving. People who go 45 in a 60 mph zone in the left lane are out of line. And should be put feet-first into a wood chooper.
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I need that hat.
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It blows my mind that some people can get a drivers license. I’e ran across the idiots who stop before merging onto the highway, and they piss me off beyond belief. Here in Va. we have yield signs as the acceleration lanes meet the highway in some places, are there are people stupid enough to think they have to come to a complete stop at them. I’ve seen a lot of chaos caused by these brain dead bastards. One day I was driving a very large truck filled with mulch for a delivery. Some stupid ass woman came to a complete stop at the yield sign, which caused me to lock up the brakes and smoke the tires. She’s damn lucky I wasn’t following too close, or it would have been a rather tragic end to her life.
I also can’t stand the morons who act as if their tires will blow out if they cross the white line signaling the end of the acceleration lane and the beginning of the service lane. Just because you were too stupid to merge before the end of the acceleration lane, it doesn’t mean you can’t cross that white line and merge when you can. It’s not a wall!! You don’t have to stop. Yes, you can drive over that line and nothing will happen. Really, trust me people, you can.
I agree Jason. Those that hold up the passing lane, are selfish idiots who should be taken behind the wood shed and beat down wit ha baseball bat. If someone wants to faster than you, let them pass. It’s not hard to move over and let them on by. I drive trucks and do this all of the time, because I’m never the fastest on the highway. I do my best not to hold anyone up. Even if I’m already speeding myself, it’s not my job to enforce the posted speed limit. Holding people up can only lead to them doing something crazy to get by you, Your stubbornness is making the highway more dangerous than their speeding, so get the fugg out of the way asshole!!.
@ Ian: If your using the service lane to an exit, that’s fine. If your using to cut the line, it’s only making things worse than it already is for everyone else. I don’t block the lane myself, but I won’t let anyone in front of me if they use it to cheat the rest of us.
To answer your question. My favorite ice cream is peanut butter and chocolate.
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the other day I was behind a stupid dick who came to almost a complete stop before getting off the exit ramp. Acceleration lane and deceleration lane serve the same purpose.
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