Pooftering-Out, With Birthday Money
We’re not going to West Virginia for Thanksgiving. The weather isn’t cooperating, traffic would be horrendous, and the whole thing just seems like a cluster-copulation in the making. So, when my mother called yesterday, requesting a final decision, I gave her the bad news.
Toney’s been checking the weather obsessively. And every time she’s shown me the forecasted map of the U.S., during our proposed drive-time, it’s looked like someone stuck a big maxi-pad over everything between Scranton, PA and Charleston, WV. The maxi-pad of foul weather. With wings
So, funk dat. I feel kinda guilty about pooftering-out on it, but am also looking forward to several days of no work, and no obligations. Oh yeah.
I took today off, and am now at the front edge of a big super-sized holiday weekend. And is there a better good mood-generator than that? I submit that there is not.
Yesterday I linked to a really good music sale at Amazon, and last night spent some quality time with it. And here’s my list of 2 for $10 CDs I’m thinking about buying:
The Clash, London Calling (a remastered upgrade of The Greatest Album Ever Recorded)
The first two Boston albums (good for days when I want to go careening down country roads with a warm 8-pack of Falls City beer on the floorboard)
Donovan, Greatest Hits (what of it?)
Billy Joel, The Stranger (I thought it was the shit when I was in Junior High, and am hoping it won’t take me back to those painful, painful days)
Elton John, Don’t Shoot Me I’m Only The Piano Player (I’m in the process of buying all the 70s Elton CDs, and this is the only one in the sale I don’t already have)
The Clash, Combat Rock (I’ve never owned it on CD)
Cheap Trick at Budokan (I burned myself out on it during the days of wine and vinyl, and never felt a powerful urge to upgrade to compact disc)
Donnie Iris, 20th Century Masters (love is like a rock, dammit)
New York Dolls (the fact that I’ve made it to such an advanced, decrepit age without buying this one on CD is fairly amazing, but there ya go)
Wall of Voodoo, Call of the West (I have a soft spot in my beleaguered heart for Stan Ridgway, and was forced to defend him back in the day, when smart-asses called his band Wall of Doodoo)
That’s eleven CDs, and I probably won’t get them all. But you never know. After a few highballs this evening I might pull the trigger on it. We’ll see how it goes.
Did you see anything that interested you? I think it’s a damn good deal, especially if you get enough of ‘em to qualify for free shipping.
Upon closer inspection, I already had all the Tom Waits CDs they’re offering, and the 60′s Dylan, as well. But they’re classics. Classics, I tell ya.
And since I’m going on and on with music procurement talk, someone suggested in the comments that I check out a download service called eMusic. So I did, and I’m going to give them a shot.
It’s all indie stuff, no major labels, and for $11.99 I’ll get to choose 80 songs during the first month. Eighty!
And they’ve got loads of greatness to choose from. Like Arcade Fire, Spoon, early Dinosaur Jr., Guided by Voices, Sloan, The Fall, Flat Duo Jets, the Bottle Rockets, etc. etc. And they even have one of my favorite 1977 punk albums, by the Adverts.
I’m not too thrilled about spending $11.99 per month, so I don’t know how long I’ll stick with them. But I might end up loving ‘em, and finding it difficult to cut the cord. In fact, that’s probably the way it’ll go…
Oh, and can you tell I’m flush with birfday money? It’s true, my parents sent me a check, and it’s all going into music this year. Music, and a couple Bentley Little books.
Yes, I know I’m in my early sixties (or whatever), but I still love the birthday check. I can spend it on anything I want, and just be completely selfish and Veruca Salt with it. The birthday check is something I look forward to, and am not ashamed to admit it.
Somehow this one ended up being mostly about music (sorry Buck), so I’ll leave you with a music-related Question.
Who do you think are the most pretentious artists of all time? A few people jump immediately to my mind, and for some reason most are women. Like Tori Amos, and Patti Smith, and Stevie “I’m so mysterious with my shitload of scarves” Nicks. But, of course, there’s also Sting. He’s the crown prince of pretentiousness, right?
Help me out with it, won’t you? Use the comments link below.
And I hope y’all have a great Thanksgiving. I don’t know when I’ll update again, but I still owe the VIPs a super-secret dispatch. So, be on the lookout for that one, at the very least.
See ya ’round.
New Surf Report shirts available soon!
Filed under: Daily
ONE with a deep-fried turkey.
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First. Or something
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Dude, I even read it and I’m in the top ten…
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4TH!
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Crap – I knew it.
Anyway, I adore Bentley Little! His books actually scare me – the one books I can ever say have done that. My favorite is still “The Return”
I kind of like pretentious music. It comes with the Ph.D. – lol. Just kidding. Actually, I get more annoyed with the soul-searching love schlock, like Celine Dion. Ick. It gives me the full-body shivers of revulsion. Blech!
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The bunker-cam gives me the willies, even sitting in my office chair.
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only books, I mean
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I’m number 8!!!
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woo hoo # 9
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Pretty sure Buck is out in the woods, de-boweling a, uh, BUCK.
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How can you have a discussion about pretentious musicians without (Saint) Bono, Bob Geldoff, Chris Martin…who did I forget?
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
sorry, but I think Prince is the prince of pretentiousness. Acting as if there was no music before his music, I dunno’….
and JK~~
nice to see you appreciate Donnie Iris! You may find it interesting to know I was drinking with Donnie just a few weeks ago. Super nice guy, funny as all get out and not pretentious in the least(his woman is hot, too!)
OK Surf Reporters, have a happy happy Thanksgiving!!
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Ok… pretentious artists? The top of that list goes to Bono… even though I am a U2 fan. While the music is great (best concert I ever went to was seeing them in Vegas at the Grand a few years back) the concerts usually piss me off in the middle because Bono gets all sidetracked with “Ending poverty” bullshit. Goddamnit… don’t people realize poverty is COMPLETELY RELATIVE?
Damnit! Even Jesus said the poor will always be with you… which is what I yell at the TV when some asshat is asking me to make a donation to the Christian Children’s Fund or some BS like that.
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pretentious – lenny kravitz. wotta douche.
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Just load up the car & go, for heaven’s sake!
Yay for Wall of Voodoo!
Stan Ridgway also published (released?) a collection of songs called The Big Heat.
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yeah – 1 gallon flask? silly.
on the other hand – check out that remote controlled cooler! that is nifty.
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I dated Stan Ridgway’s sister a long time ago…spent Christmas Eve with Stan and the family…now THAT’S an interesting crew.
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I’ll vote for that Morrisey twit from the Smiths as the most pretentious. Also, depressing…
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Kristin–As a matter of fact, that pissass Fly Away crap happens to be on my former XM station Lucy at this very moment. I was thinking to myself “should I reach over and punch a button or just tune it out” as I was reading your comment. Kudos.
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Pretentious musician? In addition to Jeff’s list I offer: Prince (oh boy does that guy warrant a prolonged and vicious beating), David Byrne (I love the Talking Heads, but someone takes his art a little too seriously), Noel Gallagher (he gets what Prince gets X1000), Morrissey, Trent Reznor, Alanis Morissette, Madonna, Bono and The Edge (the names alone get them on the list).
I checked out the Amazon list last night and was SHOCKED to see that Dan Fogelberg’s Greatest Hits was in stock. I would have thought that would be flying off the shelves….
On a similar note: Molly Hatchet! Holy Christpiss!! Are these guys still alive? I remember them as a wannabe southern rock outfit, but done up like a low-rent metal band. Always thought they looked like they hit Iron Maiden’s garage sale and bought all the fake leather pants and homo-erotic velvet paintings of muscle-bound guys holding swords.
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I too went right to Bono. And of course there’s always Barbara (I’d give a years pay to punch her in the face just once) Striesand. Joan Baez. John Lennon.
Yesterday I bought 11 things too. 11 new textbooks for going back to school. And I did it through your Amazon link. I hope it makes a little contribution to your birthday fund.
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pretentious artists – I’m expanding it to art-artists with the addition of Andy Warhol. The wigs alone are enough to make a level-headed person want ot tit-punch someone.
Of course, back in the day I’m sure I would have been all over him. Back when I had no self-identity and needed to fit in with some kind of crowd to ‘be’ someone.
God it’s good to be old.
Musicians? Almost any professional violinist. Apologies if anyone out there is one, but they are, by and large, an almost completely insufferable lot. Been in enough symphonies ot know THAT. Best to hang with the brass players, or better yet, the percussion section.
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Nobody’s mentioned Yoko Ono yet….
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Bono is a walking dildo. And Billy Joe Armstrong. Rush.
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Billy Corgan. That twit acts like writing music is the equivalent of being crucified while trying to reinvent the wheel. At one point I was ready to don adult diapers and drive ’round the clock to do his ass in, but now, thanks to a comprehensive 12 step program, I’m satisfied with merely despising him from afar.
Kurt Larson, the singer from Information Society. I grew up with him and the adoption of all the interesting last names, like Valequin and Harland moves him right up toward the top of the “Wottadouche” list. He’s a self-absorbed putz who is convinced that he is far more clever than anyone else could ever be.
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Let’s not forget Janet Jackson. Showing her tit at the Super Bowl. What a cunt.
I guess I’m going to sell my violin. Kidding. I don’t have a violin.
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good thing the guys in the WVSRcam are wearing helmets, huh?
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Definitely Bono, followed closely by Ringo “no more damed autographs” Starr.
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Well that sucked.
I hate “music updates”.
B-O-R-I-N-G.
And since I’m gonna be with family tomorrow, I really needed a good laugh. Guess it’s time to look at the LOLCats.
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Gotta agree with Tyrosine about Prince…or the “artist formerly known” or the unpronouncable symbol, or whatever that doucheketeer calls himself these days. He just barely beats out Bono on my list of a-holes.
John Lennon is first on my list of pretentious dead a-holes.
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tiff – i don’t think yoko ono counts because that crap is not music or art.
i do have a joke for you:
how many violinists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
just one – they hold up the bulb and the world revolves around them.
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I can’t believe no one has mention Kanye West.
And by the way, Jeff… I like Donovan, too. (ssshhhhhh!) I have his greatest hits on an actual record, I think it sounds the best that way.
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Pretentious musicians:
Prince
David Bowie
Robert Plant
All singers – I notice a pattern
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Whatabout Prince he is a total douch
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Lou Reed. I like most of his music but his head’s up his arse.
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All I want for Christmas is the 1 gallon hip flask filled with Makers Mark!!
Most pretentious: Enya same tune spread over 20 albums!
Leo Sayer if any of you actally remember him!
John Mellencamp honourable mention for having a name that changes like a revolving licence plate!
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That Coldplay dude. ARRRRGH!
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The most pretentious:
Bono
Michael Stipe
All the members of Rage Against the Royalty Check
Bruce Springsteen
That fag with the fake British accent who sings for Green Day
Madonna (another fake British accent)
All four members of The Clash (post Terry Chimes)
The entire Crass/Rudimentary Peni/Subhumanz Crass Records roster of “stars”
John Cougar Mellonshit
Joni Mitchell
On a different not – Yay Adverts! TV Smith was an underrated songwriter!
Also loved Wall of Voodoo in the day. Did you know they recorded a couple of porn flick soundtracks? Well, I guess it was pretty much just background music. I think they recorded some stuff for Steven Sayadian (aka Rinse Dream) for one of his flicks when they were starving in their early LA heyday…
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kristin? That joke is most awesome. My thanks!
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Jason,
You made me laugh out loud. Thanks!
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Everyone The Evil Twin mentioned except Mellencamp. I used to spin his tunes as a budding D.J at my college radio station. How bout the lead singer for R.E.M? I can’t think of his name but he is a real tool.
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Too bad you wussed out on your mama. She’ll cry and not tell you. Wish i still had mine around. Methinks you’ve lost that Hellbilly spirit of road adventure. i’m in WV and can see no indication of bad weather. BTW, John at Budget has no clue who you are. Waddyfook? Saw Patti Smith live a couple of years ago and can tell you it rivaled seeing Hendrix at the Charleston Civic Center, back in the day. Chicago Transit Authority (yepyep!) was the opener for him. Get a grip, man! Luv ya mean it – keep on chooglin’!
Montani Semper Libri!
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Q. How many indie music store employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. It’s a really obscure number. You probably haven’t heard of it.
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BOO–Michael Stipe? I dunno. I don’t think anyone one skanks and out pretentiousnesses (sss) Madonna, Chiefly there is the fake accent. The designer children~one shade for each pair of shoes. When is the last time you heard a track from this decade?? And, four hours a day at the gym–r u f-ing kidding me?Get a labiaplasty fer christ’s sake.
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Boo Thanks to Jeff, everytime I see your name instead of thinking about either Mockingbird or even the great Robert Duvall’s first movie! I think about whacking off:)
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Bill Speer – I thought that the only time Hendrix ever played Charleston was as warmup act for The Monkees. Was Chicago also on that bill? There are some great stories (true or not) about the legendary Randall Wray when he lived in the Summers Street apartment) jamming with Hendrix a little before that gig.
Also, Mouse knows who Jeff is – the name’s just not registering with him. He’s never forgotten a Budget customer’s face, and Jeff was one of the regulars…
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Sumbitch…… I’m in the top ONE HUNDRED!!!!!!!!!
I now have a life
Just wanted to take a moment to thank you Jeff for the entertainment (as well as everyone else) and my wishes that all have a GRRRRRRRRrrrrrreaaaaaattttt holiday…….
With any luck I’ll be upto my arm pitts in BUCK Friday morning…….. Not “BUCK”, rather the one with the horns!
Happy Turkey Day to all !!!!!!
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Pagan
Thanks for reminding me.. but I guess the up side is I am the only character in classic literature that gets to scream my own name when I am “skaking hands with Mr. Lincoln.”
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Morrissey, Stipe, and the three-headed dog known as Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, and Fiona Apple. Oh, and I never really cared much for Alanis Morrissette and her whinging.
As for Warhol, I have heard that his pretentiousness was all an act to see just how far he could take it before someone called him on his shit. No one ever did and he laughed all the way to the bank.
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pre·ten·tious:
Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified.
Kanye
Can I get a hell yeah? He should be the current poster boy.
(Although I hear his Glow In The Dark Tour was a must-see)
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“Pompous ass” musicians? Implausible, I know, but I’ve seen Keith Jarrett in concert twice and he was a prima donna both times. Yet, he’s a monstrous talent; IMHO one of the greatest living piano players today. Here’s a link – http://www.amazon.com/Tabula-Rasa/dp/B0000262K7/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1227754393&sr=1-1 …this is one astounding recording, in which the piano is really pretty minor, but it shows how good Jarrett can be.
Well, actually I have mixed feelings about Jarrett’s ridiculousness. I saw him most recently at the Kennedy Center Concert Hall, before the renovation. It was KJ, Gary Windo and Jack DeJohnette. After the first or second song he stood up, said Hello, introduced the band, and said “Has anyone else noticed how bad the acoustics are in this room?” On the one hand, he’s a bit of a whiner for saying such things – to the audience! On the other hand, he was perfectly correct in that it was one of the worst sounding halls in which I’ve ever tried to hear a show.
Having said my piece, I’ll shut up and put on some Joy Division.
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Rod Stewart
Mary J Blige
Beyounce’
All Rap eh “artist” and I use that term losely
Prince or what ever monicker he goes by now
Boy George
George Michael
Jimmy Buffet
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Oh and when will Angus (AC/DC) put on some long pants! That is very pretentious that any one would want to see is pudgy knees tromping around the stage.
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I always hear about The Killers being major egotistical poofters but yet I like some of their songs. What does that say about me…..Joe T? George?
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Then again, I’ve had a ten year affair with Mr. Jim Beam……….
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Bill Speer – I’ve been under the completely wrong impression that Hendrix played Charleston warming up for The Monkees for about 35 years now! Where I got that information or why I took it as gospel I can’t remember. But, just like you said – he played in Charleston on May 10, 1969 and warmup acts were Chicago Transit Authority and Fat Mattress! Thanx for posting that, It’s good to get the facts right after all this time! That must have been one hell of a show!
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‘Ey! Yinz better get dat Donny Iris CD. Dat’ dere is a classic — an’ any Pittsberger knows ‘at Donny Rocks!!
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Further info:
Hendrix was the opening opening act on the Monkees’ Summer, 1967 Tour on only seven dates: July 8th at The Coliseum in Jacksonville, FL; July 9th at The Convention Hall in Miami, FL; July 11th at The Coliseum in Charlotte, NC; July 12th at The Coliseum in Greensboro, NC; and July 14th, 15th and 16th at Forest Hills Stadium in New York City.
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I send my honors Bono’s way too and I still say that Ted Nugent should sue them over the “Bullet The Blue Sky” (or whatever the song is called). It sounds a little too much in places like Nugent’s “Stranglehold”.
Forget ‘At Budakon’, the single CD. Go for the gusto and get the new box set. The complete show with a DVD of it? A must have for anyone that appreciates one of the greatest live albums ever. Seeing Rick Nielson’s stage performance when he was in his prime makes the DVD so worth it.
Gotta go… I have to blow Tom Petersson now.
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Caught Wall Of VooDoo’s ‘Call of the West’ show with Rez & Julian @ Mars (of ‘The Little Ducks from Mars’ fame) in Corpus Christi. Badass show and album. That should be mandatory. It’s in regiular rotation on my playlist. Love ‘On Interstate 15′ & ‘Lost Weekend’.
Most pretentious: Bono
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Jeff is in his 60′s???? I figured him to be in his late 40′s ????
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Happy Thanksgiving Surf Reporters!!
be thankful you weren’t driving anywhere this >>>
http://tinyurl.com/5pgkxp
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<<<< or that
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…& ‘Tomorrow’ & ‘Call of the West’…
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!
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Most pretentious musicians? The Evil Twin done stole my list.
Speaking of pretentious, the $129.95 hip flask in Hammacher Schlemmer? Cheaper Than Dirt ( purveyor of bulk ammo, army surplus, gun parts, knives, swords, hunting junk and general redneck supplies) has the same thing for $19.97.
You just know the Cheaper Than Dirt catalog shows up in my mailbox every month.
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I can’t believe you would consider Donny Iris. I would rather listen to Zoogz Rift.
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Great Googly Moogly, good to see I’m not the only CTD shopper on here. They’ve always got good deals on stuff you couldn’t find elsewhere, and always good pricing on ammo too. They even have decent prices on spare parts, and sometimes will get rid of whole parts kits for the price of one part!
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Psssssttt…..Jeff will be 46 on Sunday. Don’t let him know that I spilled the beans. He’s got 6 months on me.
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I bought up some Steely Dan CD’s. Damn they sound good remastered! I also bought (Abba’s Gold greatest hits and A Wagner compilation) Not on Sale. Thanks for the heads up Jeff. Most pretentious? In the metal world …..Yngvie Malmsteen , Dani Filth, King Diamond
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Elton John is an ass.
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Well, I see someone(me) was drunk and on the computer last night.
This morning coffee has never tasted so good.
Off to start preparations for the feast. I’m doing all the cooking today so I best get.
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Prince is the king of pretentiousness
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING SURFREPORTERS!!!!
halloween and thanksgiving are the only holidays i like.
slow cooked birdmeats and monsters…. the rest of the year i drink myself into a lobotomy.
as for the asshat musicians…
any highschool cover band…
johnny rzesnick from the goo goo dolls has always pissed me off, even though i like them.
jay farrar from uncle tupelo/son volt pissed me off in 06 when he released that studio/live album that was all about impeaching bush (or whatever liberal crap)
i can’t believe nobody mentioned neil young, eddy vedder or axl rose… or even bob mould.
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Most male R&B artists are quite foolish.
What gives with todays picture?
Why is the bespeckled boy cupping the old lady’s breast?
It don’t seem right I tells ya!
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One persons pretentiousness, is another persons idol.
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Jeff….grow a sack and drive to your parents on Thanksgiving.
What are you….85 years old?
You need some Old Spice Swagger.
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The entire band New Order – friggin’ idiots played a 20 minute concert the only time I ever wasted seeing them…and they were the headliners and were so lame-ass that they had some really horrible local band open for them. There were a lot of pissed off punks that day.
I have to agree with all who said:
Sting (sorry, Gordon, but no woman wants to have sex for 26 hours, so we don’t care if you can keep it up that long)
Bono (I’m a friggin’ liberal bleeding heart and he annoys me)
Prince
Ted Nugent (although I don’t think the person who mentioned him was considering him a pretentious douche)
Madonna (without a friggin’ doubt – I’m amazed Guy Ritchie put up with her for 8 years, to say nothing of the accent – you’re from Michigan, you bitch)
Someone mentioned Celine Dion which made me think of Whitney Houston, Sheryl Crow and Mariah Carey – first off, their “music” is unlistenable…and then they think they’re all that.
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I’m jumping firmly on the Prince bandwagon. First one to pop in my head
And Jeff, we used to call it BALL of DooDoo, not Wall of DooDoo!
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Perry Como. He used alot of string players too… Go figure.
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most pretentious artists:
#1 of all past, present and future artists Has got to be
CELINE DION! I have never ever been able to stand
that bitch.
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Celine Dion moved in with her Manager (Who is now her Husband!!!) When she was 13 with her parents permission!!! WTF! Even Tom Cruise is not that manipulative!
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eMusic’s great, Jeff. It’s certainly not a universal solvent, but good for bargain indie shopping–and classical and jazz, too, though I’m not sure that’s your bag. At the site, check out the “Dozens” feature–curations from the holdings by guest editors. Email me if you want to be my eMusic “friend.”
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What about the ass-wipe from “Smashing Pumpkins”? Can’t even recall his name-must have flushed it out with whatever other chemicals I had in my system in the 90′s….
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