The West Virginia Surf Report!

I stumbled across a questionable webpage a couple of days ago that lists “unusual” town names in West Virginia. Here it is. I’ve never heard of any o’ those places, but wouldn’t mind calling Pie, WV home. Ya know? There were some towns around us, while I was growing up, that had crazy names. Places like Hurricane, Tornado, Mink Shoals, Pax, Paw Paw, Poca, Pinch, Quick, etc. I think most of those would fall under the heading of Strange or Ridiculous.

Here in Pennsylvania there’s a town called Jim Thorpe, a place that Jim Thorpe — the famous athlete — never visited while he was alive. I could look it up, but I’m very tired. I believe they just made a deal with somebody to move his remains there and rename the town Jim Thorpe. Weird. What’s next, Vic Tayback, Missouri? Bert Convy, Alaska? And, of course, Pennsylvania is home to the automatic go-to response in discussions such as this one: Intercourse. Which is located right next to Blue Ball. And down the road from Bird-In-Hand.

In Georgia there’s a town called Cumming, which triggered a lot of local “comedy.” I believe it was near Climax. And there’s a place down there named Santa Claus. Who the hell knows? In California we lived in Canyon Country, which is a bit odd, I think. And nearby was a town that I always thought had the ugliest-sounding name: Saugus. Man, that bugs me, for some reason.

What do you have on this one? I know it’s abbreviated, but I’m hanging by a thread over here. What towns have you encountered that you thought had strange or ridiculous names? Please share them in the comments.

And before I call it a day here, I’d like to invite you to call the podcast hotline and leave a message of congratulations (or whatever) on our 100th episode, which I’ll be recording in the next few days. It’s a voicemail setup, and it’s at 570-290-8151. Please identify yourself, and say whatever you’d like. Within reason, of course. Let’s keep it cordial, please. I’d like for you all to be a part of it!

I’ll see you guys again soon.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

It pains me that I have to remind everyone of this, but nobody gives a thin ribbon of shit about your opinions on Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi, or even Calvin “The Wad” Coolidge. Please knock it off. I’m now receiving emails begging me to step in and “fix” the comments section. I will simply remind everyone that this is a no-politics zone. If you want to wallow all day in partisan websites and TV networks, that’s your business. But don’t come here and parrot that crap. I want this to be a place for people to get away from it all.

I have at least three options, if things don’t improve:

I can start banning, temporarily or permanently, the IP addresses of serial offenders. In the nearly 20 year history of this site I’ve only done that once or twice, and those were a long time ago. It’s not something I ever want to do, but will if forced.

I can change the settings so that I have to approve every comment before it goes live on the site. That way I could shitcan all the “cute” snarky political garbage. But I don’t have time for that, and it would delay nearly 100% of the comments from being posted.

I can turn off comments completely. This one is the nuclear option, and I definitely don’t want to do it. But we can’t continue as we are.

So, there you go. Please behave. There’s no shortage of places on the internet for you to wallow and parrot, and this isn’t one of them. Please knock it off.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

Yeah, I know. It’s not supposed to be enjoyed. I realize the gravity of the situation, and don’t need a lecture, thank you very much; please leave your high horse in the corral before entering. I’d just like to know if you’ve found anything kinda pleasant about this situation so far. Anything at all?

I mentioned in the podcast that I went into the weekend knowing I wouldn’t be leaving the house much, which would generally make me a little crazy. But the expectations were set in advance, so it wasn’t so hard. Of course that doesn’t mean that next weekend will be the same. Oh, this shit could go south at a moment’s notice. But, this past Saturday and Sunday were kick-back lazy-ass days, not at all unpleasant. I got caught up on two TV shows I enjoy (Homeland and some ridiculousness called Devs), listened to some good music, read part of a questionable adventure novel, spent some quality time with the family, etc.

Of course I’m still working. So the cabin fever will come later for me. On Monday through Friday I’m still going to the office. The boys aren’t working, and Toney works from home. But I’m still commuting 36 miles down and 36 miles up the Devil’s Parkway each day. So, maybe I’m not an ideal person to ask about this. I’m a loner by nature, which makes it easier, and my life is only really changed on the weekends. But what’s your field report? How are you holding up so far? What’s your situation? Are you still working?

And have you found anything somewhat positive in the lockdown so far? At least for the time being? Tell us about it, won’t you? Use the comments.

I saw on the Adam Carolla Reddit page a quote from him about this subject, and thought it was pretty good: “It’s a prison sentence. It’s a short prison sentence. As they say, as the convicts say, you can do the time or the time can do you. I figure you should do the time, meaning go out, build a treehouse with your son or daughter. Cook lasagna with your wife. Don’t let the time do you. Don’t end up with a face tattoo and a toilet filled with prison wine.”

Please check in and give us a status. And I’ll see you guys again soon.

Have a great one, my friends!

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

I had a follow-up appointment with my far-too-casual (“Hey, man!”) doctor a few days ago and he told me I should cut down on the amount o’ coffee I ingest daily. Which caused my brow to furrow and stay that way for a long time. Then he told me that the thimble of joe I do drink should always be black. And that did nothing to alleviate the furrowing. What kind of bullshit is this?! I told him I’d work on it, but felt like I should’ve had my fingers crossed behind my back.

I get up every day at 9 am (give or take), and leave for work at 1 pm (more or less). And between those hours I drink coffee. Oh, I don’t guzzle it, but I casually drink it for that particular hunk of the day. And once I stop, I stop. The moment I transition into water or some other cold drink there’s no more coffee. I’m not a coffee-all-day kinda guy. But it’s still probably excessive. It likely adds up to nearly a pot. I know people who drink much more of it than I do, but it doesn’t do much good pointing to other people’s ridiculous choices to excuse your own.

And what’s the deal with recommending I drink it black? I don’t put sugar in it, just a small splash of milk. How could that hurt? Where’s the harm? I should’ve asked him (“Well, my dude, let me explain…”) but subconsciously knew I wouldn’t be taking his advice on that part of it, so I didn’t bother.

So, to summarize, his advice was “one or two” cups per day, black. And so far I’ve eased back on it, but exceed his recommended number. And I’ve 100% rejected the “drink it black” proclamation. I’ll continue the easing back part and over time try to get down to his number. That’s my sincere goal, but we’ll see. At least he’s got me thinking about it, right? I never did before, not really. So, there’s that. …Hello?

Do you drink coffee? What’s your ritual? Are you an all-day ingester, or is it morning only? What do you put in it? Do you turn it into liquefied candy as many people do? I never understood sugar in coffee, but whatever. Tell us about it, tell us about your relationship with coffee. And if you don’t drink it, how do you reanimate at the beginning of the day? Are you going to piss me off and say exercise or somesuch healthiness? Well, have at it. Use the comments.

And I’ll be back soon, very soon.

Have a great day, my friends.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

I can’t remember the circumstances that led me to actually try the McWrap at McDonald’s. It seems wildly out of character for me. I mean, seriously. But I gave the chicken and ranch wrap a try, shortly after it was introduced, and loved it. Of course, I ordered it without the ranch dressing, on account o’ the blecch. That always leads to the order-taker looking at me in confusion and disbelief: “Are you serious? You’re not just going to use it as a transfer platform with which to move sauce to your gaping maw? That’s the whole point!” In any case, I ordered one hold-the-ranch and thought it was fantastic. And I’ll attempt to bullet-point the reasons why:

• It was tasty and fresh and included a mixture of pleasing components: crispy chicken, lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, cheese, etc. It was shockingly good.
• It was a sizable serving, at a reasonable price. In the beginning, anyway.
• It was easy to eat while navigating Interstate 81, the Devil’s Parkway.
• It felt like it might not be completely unhealthy.

I loved ’em, and found myself craving the things on a semi-regular basis. Then it all went wrong… I’m not sure why, but the price kept creeping up, up, up. I’ve rarely seen such a fast ‘n’ steep escalation. I think they introduced them at a special introductory price, to get people acquainted, and didn’t want to just crank them to the permanent price all at once. So, they eased us into it. But every time I bought one it felt like it was more expensive than the time before. Eventually, it became an issue and I would grimace when they gave me the total. Sweet sainted mother of Florence Jean Castleberry… I still bought them but was starting to take price into consideration.

Then they were gone. All gone. It all happened so quickly I sometimes wonder if I’d just imagined the whole thing. They had big delicious wraps at McDonald’s? Yeah right. Maybe I should go see a doctor?

In any case, what’s your favorite discontinued fast food item? Please tell us about it, won’t you? Also, what were your thoughts on the McWrap if you tried it. Please bring us up to date on all of it in the comments.

And I’ll be back soon. Much sooner than this one. Sorry about that…

Have a great day, my friends.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!