The West Virginia Surf Report!

LOOK AT THAT! In case you can’t tell, it’s the upper right side of the left pocket. That’s where they always give way. Without exception. And why is that? Why there, specifically? I mean, I’ve been blaming the ass itself for this unstoppable destruction. And rightly so. I mean, there’s a substantial amount of volume back there, and standard commercial fabric can only be expected to withstand so much pressure. Indeed, the shredding never ends! As I mentioned in a recent episode of the podcast, I’m blowing up a pair of pants every other month at this point. Always at the upper right side of the left pocket. WTS??

Could it be my wallet? That’s a recent theory I’ve devised, which might just be a subconscious attempt to take a bit of heat off my large attack-ass. But I carry it in the left pocket, the one that always fails. Maybe it’s a contributing factor? Here it is. Is that too thick? It’s not at a Costanza-level yet, but moving in that direction.

Shit. Now that I look at it again, I see that my wallet is not very thick at all. What do you think? <sigh> Oh well. I’m still considering going back to carrying my money and the few cards I use in my left front pocket and seeing if the trouser-shredding slows down a bit. At this point, I’m about to start looking for a monthly enormous pants subscription service.

And just so you know, the catastrophic blowout illustrated above happened at work. I tell the whole story in the podcast, but I was returning from lunch and felt an Arctic wind blowing across an area of my body that I should not be able to experience weather in such detail. And that’s when my heart skipped a beat, ’cause I knew I had yet another situation on my hands. For the rest of the evening, I didn’t remove my jacket and exited rooms walking backward. Sheesh. I’ve become an old pro at it.

Have you ever had any similar troubles? How about my wallet theory? Let me know your thoughts. And have a great day, my friends.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

I HAD PROBLEMS with the site today, but it appears to be fixed. For a couple of hours, I could not get into the control panel. When I attempted to log in I just got a white screen with the word “Error” in the upper left-hand corner. I checked other sites I own (and have abandoned), and got the same results. Needless to say, I was nearing a full and utter nervous breakdown. But the help desk pointed me in the right direction and I was able to get shit corrected. They didn’t fix it, mind you. They told me how to do it. I don’t care for that. Anyway, order has been restored.

And now I can alert you guys to another episode of the world-famous West Virginia Surf Report podcast. In this one, I share some ancient memories from corporate Christmas parties I have attended. You’ll get to hear about the drunken spinning schoolmarm, a comment I made that still causes me to cringe ‘n’ wince when I think about it, an amazing moment at the CEO’s house, and Toney and I sneaking around a Christmas carnival and making a very cool discovery.

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, it’s widely distributed. Or you can just click play, right here:

I hope you enjoy it! There will be another episode on Thursday, at Patreon only. I hope to see you there!

In the meantime, if you have any office party stories to share we’d love to hear/read ’em!

Have a great day, my friends.

I visit Reddit daily, mostly the Cincinnati Reds page, but others as well. And occasionally I see something that triggers a Surf Report Question of the Day. Today, for instance, I noticed the question below and thought, “Huh, I like that… I wish I’d thought of it myself.” Here it is:

If you can’t see it for some reason, it reads: There is a scratch and sniff map of the United States, what does your state smell like? The punctuation is questionable, but that’s beside the point. I think it’s a solid and creative question. And instead of just lifting it and acting like I was the originator, I’m stealing it with full disclosure. What do you have on this one, my friends? What do you believe your state would smell like on… a scratch and sniff map? Tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?

Also, what are your favorite Sub-Reddits? There are some great ones out there. Please share your faves.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

With Amazon, I mean. Their American counterparts decided I was no longer to their liking, but the Canadians are always kinder, eh? So, if you’re north o’ the border I’d love to suggest this really cool website where you can buy a lot of things, many things. Here’s the link. If you’re in the market for a lot of things, many things, it’s a good resource. You should check it out. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Pass the poutine.

It’s from Saturday night at Backyard Ale House in Scranton, a truly great bar/restaurant. We’re seated by the front window, and he’s outside having a smoke. We can see out, but he can’t see in. Result: magic! One of my all-time favorites.

Here’s the legendary Mr. Funnelpants, who is also a fave.

I’m not sure when the Pulitzer people are going to call, but it’s way past due. Right?

We were hammered with some kind of seven-layer dip of winter precipitation on Sunday/Monday: ice, snow, ice, rain, snow, etc. etc. It’s bullshit, and I’m ready to pull up stakes for somewhere else to dislike. Indeed, none of us had left the house since Saturday… until Monday night when three of us went to the ER. Oh, it was quite the coming-out party. The younger boy spent hours on Monday cleaning up the driveway and sidewalk and getting our cars semi-drivable. Then the city plow came through and shoved a mountain of heavy snow in front of our driveway. Grrr… The older boy said he’d clean it up, went out there, and promptly fell on the ice. Yep, broke his left arm in two places. Awesome!

While waiting in the Emergency Room holding pen we encountered at least four other people who had fallen and hurt themselves, because of the seven-layer dip. We also encountered a 12-year old girl who was coughing like a 47-year-old longshoreman in the throes of a Pall Mall seizure. Good god! I thought for sure we would all be infected with SARS or something, but so far so good. Not sure about the incubation period, though.

Here’s a vibrant color photo I took of a tree in our front yard yesterday. The colors just leap off the screen, don’t they? Oh, it’s lovely. As I type this Spring Training is only 70 days away, though. It gives me something to cling to.

I recorded a new episode of the podcast yesterday and posted it last night when we returned from the hospital. It’s basically about the weekend — my big birthday weekend (ha!) — before the seven-layer commenced. Among other things, I discuss:

• Veronica Mars
• Kareem Abdul Jabbar
• the Yin-Yang of Facebook
• Primanti Bros.
• Backyard Ale House
• Jack Ryan
• The Devil Next Door
• my Cyber Monday purchases
• a local celebrity sighting at the beer store

You can listen wherever you get podcasts, or right here:

Unfortunately, I’m pretty much done with my days off at work now. At least for 2019. I’m not sure how I’ll handle big honkin’ five days weeks again. It’s been a while. Ugh. Oh well.

For a Question, I’d like to know which streaming services you currently subscribe to. It feels like there are dozens of them now. I’m on Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon. It already feels excessive, yet they keep coming and coming. Also, do you pay for any website subscriptions? Apps or sites you pay for yearly or monthly? I just took advantage of a Cyber Monday sale and signed up for The Athletic, a sports site. I also pay for MLB At Bat, at $2.99 per month. And there’s Spotify and Sirius/XM… Shit! It’s gotten out of hand. What do you have on this subject? Share it, won’t you? You know, if you feel comfortable doing so.

And I’m calling it a day, my friends. I need to prepare for work. Physically… emotionally… and spiritually.

Have a great day!

I’ll be back soon.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!