LOOK AT THAT! In case you can’t tell, it’s the upper right side of the left pocket. That’s where they always give way. Without exception. And why is that? Why there, specifically? I mean, I’ve been blaming the ass itself for this unstoppable destruction. And rightly so. I mean, there’s a substantial amount of volume back there, and standard commercial fabric can only be expected to withstand so much pressure. Indeed, the shredding never ends! As I mentioned in a recent episode of the podcast, I’m blowing up a pair of pants every other month at this point. Always at the upper right side of the left pocket. WTS??
Could it be my wallet? That’s a recent theory I’ve devised, which might just be a subconscious attempt to take a bit of heat off my large attack-ass. But I carry it in the left pocket, the one that always fails. Maybe it’s a contributing factor? Here it is. Is that too thick? It’s not at a Costanza-level yet, but moving in that direction.
Shit. Now that I look at it again, I see that my wallet is not very thick at all. What do you think? <sigh> Oh well. I’m still considering going back to carrying my money and the few cards I use in my left front pocket and seeing if the trouser-shredding slows down a bit. At this point, I’m about to start looking for a monthly enormous pants subscription service.
And just so you know, the catastrophic blowout illustrated above happened at work. I tell the whole story in the podcast, but I was returning from lunch and felt an Arctic wind blowing across an area of my body that I should not be able to experience weather in such detail. And that’s when my heart skipped a beat, ’cause I knew I had yet another situation on my hands. For the rest of the evening, I didn’t remove my jacket and exited rooms walking backward. Sheesh. I’ve become an old pro at it.
Have you ever had any similar troubles? How about my wallet theory? Let me know your thoughts. And have a great day, my friends.
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