I’ve “Dined” at 94 of These Places. Are You Able to Top My Number?

I posted this at Facebook earlier today. But it’s so right up our alley, I decided to feature it here as well. I went through the list, answered honestly, and came up with a grand total of 94 — out of 230. Of course, many of the places are NOT fast food. Like Cracker Barrel and Red Lobster. Wot up with that?

fastfoodnumber

 

In any case, let’s compare. Just click on the graphic above to get started. The restaurants get more and more obscure and regional as the list continues. By the end, I started to believe they were just making them up.

What’s your final number? Someone at Facebook said they’d been to 119. Sweet sainted mother of Babs Johnson! We’ll need your full report in the comments section below.

And I’ll see you guys next time.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!

79 Comments »
Filed under: Daily

  • In Celebration of Split Personalities and Radish Burps!

    radishSo, Nancy is reportedly writing a book of some kind, with another professor. And her writing partner sounds like he might actually be wackier than she is.

    She told Toney the guy is “absolutely brilliant,” but strange. During their most recent meeting, for instance, he announced that he has a split personality. And the Michael she’d known up to that point was “host Michael.” But today she was dealing with “alternate Michael.”

    “Host Michael is excited to be working with you on this project,” he said. “But alternate Michael is feeling resentful, and frankly annoyed. Alternate Michael wishes he were somewhere else right now.”

    Toney was telling me about this kookery, and it just confirmed how we need more Nancy in our lives. She’s the gift that keeps on giving. We haven’t seen her, or her family, in a long time.

    However… Unless something changes, Toney and her cousin are going to fly to North (or is it South?) Carolina, for a visit, in just a few weeks. I won’t get to witness anything first-hand, but Toney does a good job at reporting from the field. So, stay tuned.

    Oh, and Nancy’s reaction to the Host/Alternate Michael revelation? “I’m sure he’ll just be another man who lets me down…” Awwww, that’s sad.

    I worked more than 60 hours last week, and unless my heart seizes up, I’ll be doing it again this week. Sorry I’ve been falling down on my posting duties, but I’m living at my job these days. Not good.

    One night I was there, and bought a salad for lunch. They have a pretty good salad bar in the cafeteria, and it’s cheap. I pile ‘em up, and they never costs more than four bucks.

    Anyway, they had radishes on the salad bar. I don’t see radishes too often anymore. It seems like they were around a lot more when I was a kid. Have they fallen out of favor? I always liked them.

    In fact, they remind me of my grandmother. She used to cut up celery and cucumbers, and that sort o’ thing. She called it a relish tray. And there were always radishes. So, they’ll forever be associated with my grandmother.

    One thing I forgot, though: they’re big-time burp fuel. Wow! I was belching those bastards deep into the night. It wasn’t bad, though. At least not for me. I can’t speak for my co-workers.

    For a Question, I’d like to know your favorite burp-inducing foods. Hot dogs will do the trick, in a pleasing way. What else do you recommend? Use the comments link below.

    And I’ll try to do better this week. No promises, though. My one-day weekend is over.

    See ya next time, my friends!

    Now playing in the bunker
    Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!

    29 Comments »
    Filed under: Daily

    What’s Been Your Experience with Regional Customs and Stereotypes?

    eggs-300x225Here in the Upper Pierogi Belt, Easter is a HUGE deal. I think it’s because 75% of the residents are Catholic. In fact, 75% of our house is Catholic… but that’s neither here nor there.

    Where I’m from Easter meant a basket filled with candy for the kiddies, and a better-than-average Sunday dinner, often with extended family members. Here it’s much more.

    Actual gifts are exchanged, like a mini-Christmas. And I’m talking big-ticket items, like bicycles and Playstations. Before I moved to NEPA, I’d never heard the phrase, “What did you get for Easter?” It just doesn’t compute. You get chocolate, and later ham. That’s what everybody gets for Easter.

    Somebody walked up to me a few days ago, with another person in tow. They wanted me to serve as a tie-breaker in an argument they were having. “Jeff, do you and your wife exchange Easter presents?” I was asked.

    “Huh? Are you serious?” I answered, which caused the guy in tow to smile, and sense victory.

    “Well, did you used to, before you became burned-out and old?” she said, trying to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. And being wildly insulting (yet accurate) in the process.

    “Never,” I said. “There’s no such thing as ‘Easter presents’ outside this freaky little bubble we’re in.”

    “Yes!” the guy in tow shouted, and the woman frowned with disappointment. “Every couple I know exchanges Easter presents,” she muttered, and walked away.

    Hey, people can do whatever they want. It’s no skin off my scrote. It’s just strange, how certain areas of the country are so wildly different in their customs.

    I know people who attribute blanket-statement stereotypes about entire sections of the U.S. My parents, for instance, believe as an absolute fact that 90% of Pennsylvanians are blowhards with an overbearing opinion on every subject. Whenever they come to visit we encounter many “normal” people along the way, but when we meet some bombastic loudmouth, they shout, “A-ha!”

    I always say, “So, people who live on the West Virginia side of the border are the salt of the earth, but once you cross that line… it’s asshole city.” “Yep,” they answer. It’s sometimes infuriating, and more often amusing.

    Actually, since they’ve started spending every winter in Florida — and meeting people from all over the country — they’ve softened their stance a bit. Only a bit, though.

    And there are all sorts of negative stereotypes about my home state (my folks don’t care for that), the entire southeast, as well as California, etc. But I’ve lived all over, and it seems like people are generally the same. They’re just trying to get through the day, and keep the bills paid. Ya know?

    However… there are customs that are unique to certain areas. And it’s slightly annoying when the people there proclaim their way as the RIGHT way. Or, worse, don’t even know there are other ways. But, differences are cool. I endorse them. It keeps things interesting. I have no problem with the folks around here throwing a second Christmas every spring. More power to ‘em. Pass the haluski.

    What’s been your experience with regional customs and stereotypes? Anything to report? Or confess? Use the comments link below.

    And I’ll see you guys again soon.

    Have a great day!

    Now playing in the bunker
    Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!

    93 Comments »
    Filed under: Daily

    Read the Novel!

    Paperback and Kindle

    So, who is this guy?

    Thanks for stopping by! My name is Jeff Kay, I was born while JFK was president, and it's all very embarrassing and corny. Today I'm a suburban husband and father, who is sometimes accused of being a bit tightly-wound. The West Virginia Surf Report! is my creative outlet, and insurance policy against completely losing my shit. I hope you'll stick around and participate in the lively community of geniuses and curmudgeons who hang out here every day. I love a full 87% of them! And while you're at it, please follow me at Twitter and Facebook.

    Become a Surf Report VIP!

    Join the mailing list and stay up to date on the latest Surf Report shenanigans. Once subscribed, you will also be granted access to occasional super-secret updates the more casual readers will never see.

    Sign up today and receive a free gift! More info here.

    Name:
    Email:

    Automatic Updates

    There are two easy ways to receive Jeff's updates automatically, as if by voodoo black magic...