Outside the Circle of Familiarity
It’s been crazy. Since my work week ended last week, I’ve been running wide-open. Steve and I went to that show on Thursday, everybody was home Friday/Saturday and it was a carnival of chaos around here, we went to some snooty suburb of Philly on Sunday to attend a cookout for Toney’s cousin’s kid, and I got called into work early yesterday for a training class.
There’s been no down-time, whatsoever, and it’s starting to make me a little goofy. I think I’m only a couple days away from smiling all the time. And I can’t have that.
Toney has a cousin in Philadelphia. They grew up in Nevada, but ended up living near each other in Pennsylvania. Sorta like me and Steve: still living close to one another, many hundreds of miles from where we started. Weird, huh?
Anyway, the cousin is married with a couple of kids, and resides in a very upscale neighborhood where people probably wipe their asses with imported lace. One of their neighbors has many acres, and keeps “exotic animals.” Like ostriches and llamas, and possibly pterodactyls.
Toney sees them every once in a while, but I haven’t been to their house in four years. It’s a cordial, but not exactly close, relationship.
Their oldest kid just graduated high school, and we were invited to their big blowout celebration. Toney wanted to go, and I wasn’t passionately against the idea, so we went. It would be something to do, we figured, and there’d probably be good food and plenty of beer, etc.
So, we plugged their address into the GPS unit, chose “British female” (Penelope), and hit the road. We always have trouble finding their house. After exiting the highway there are roughly five hundred turns, and we get lost every time. But we put our faith in Penelope; she’d take care of us.
And she did, except she chose a route with lots and lots of stoplights. After we got off the Pennsylvania Turnpike we drove for at least thirty miles(!?), through town after town. We must’ve passed twenty Applebee’s, and fifteen Fashion Bugs along the way.
But Penelope took us to their front door, without incident. And it was quite a shindig. They had several tents set up in the yard, a movie theater-grade popcorn machine, a sno-cone maker, three long tables overflowing with food, and barrels of icy soda and beer.
And within fifteen minutes I remembered why I haven’t been there in four years. Toney’s cousin was friendly, but everybody else ignored us. They all knew each other, and made no effort to engage anyone outside the Circle of Familiarity. I tried to start a few conversations with people, but it was a wasted effort. Even Toney, who can talk to a pine tree, was having trouble breaking through with these people.
It’s a completely closed society at their house. It was all coming back to me now…
So, after an hour of trying to be friendly, the four of us just sat at a table on the patio, and nobody paid us any attention. We had a little food, and some of it was good, and some of it was not. The so-called pulled-pork barbecue was beige and shockingly bad, and I sneaked a mound of it into the trash. Blecch. I think I ate an off-white aorta.
And the accents of some of those people carve a hole straight through my soul. I don’t know what it is about it, but my entire body goes rigid. It’s sorta like Carmella Soprano, run through a nasal passage, or something. It causes my entire central nervous system to cut in and out.
And there was a guy I remembered from last time. He’s all bombastic and sure of himself, and fancies himself an expert on Disney World. That’s obviously his “thing.” He’s the go-to guy for Disney information. East of the Mississippi, anyway.
I sorta recall writing about him four years ago, and he was holding court on the exact same subject on Sunday. “I’m tellin’ ya, October is the best time to go to Disney. Trust me on this, October is the time to go!”
I couldn’t believe it. Is that the only thing he ever talks about? When they lower him into the ground, his headstone will probably read: Father, husband, and friend. He looked like Frankie Valli, and knew a lot about Disney.
We were there for about two and a half hours, and finally told Toney’s cousin we were leaving. I was braced for her to launch into a campaign of objections, but it didn’t happen. I think she had so much going on, she didn’t even hear what we were saying.
When we got to the car, I asked Toney to check the GPS to see if we had it set to “shortest distance,” instead of “shortest time.” She monkeyed around with it for a few minutes, creating five thousand beeps, and we took off.
And we drove and drove, through even more small towns than last time. What the hell, man? We drove for an hour, and still weren’t on the Turnpike. Penelope was really starting to get under my skin.
Toney finally snatched the thing off the windshield, and started up with all the beeps again. And she learned that we’d somehow checked a box beside “avoid highways.” Heh. The thing was trying to get us all the way home, on back roads. We’d probably still be driving, if we hadn’t checked it.
And that was our Sunday.
On Monday morning my boss’s boss called and asked if I could come in at one o’clock to attend a four-hour “change management” seminar. Which is exactly what I went through at my previous job, two weeks before I was laid-off.
I’m not really a fan of the change management…
My notebook is loaded up with stuff, but I’m going to stop right here. There’s always tomorrow, right? Well, not always, I guess. But so far there’s always been a tomorrow… I’m hoping the trend continues.
The Questions of the Day: What accents or dialects irritate you beyond all reasonableness? Are there any? If so, tell us about it in the comments.
Also, what U.S. city do you believe is the rudest? The only time I’ve ever proclaimed an entire city RUDE, it was Philadelphia. But that was years ago, and I’ve had a few pleasant experiences there since. So, maybe I wasn’t being completely fair?
If you have anything on these subjects, we’d like to know about it.
The T-Shirt Lady just sent an email, literally five minutes ago, telling me the shirts are ready. So, I’ll be picking them up on Thursday, my next day-off. Here’s the link, once again. Order seven or four today!
See ya tomorrow, my friends.
Filed under: Daily
weeeeeeeeeeeeeee #1
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Second, yeah baby!
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could I be…3rd, perhaps?
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fourth? my week just got better…
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Tada!
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Miami is one rude sh*thole. Also, Orlando (nobody is from here) FL
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Hang in there Jeff! You’ll come through this one OK, I can feel it.
Wait, that’s my cell phone vibrating. You might indeed be screwed. Hang in there regardless.
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long island accents are. the. worst.
i love that the google ads on the page are for a listing of minneapolis liquor stores and a tinnitus clinic.
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I’ll second that emotion on Miami. And Jacksonville (hometown and current haunt) is pretty rude for being a “Southern” city. Could be that, like Orlando, no one is from here.
Completely unrelated…any of you folks remember a band (twosome?) called Yaz? I think they were called Yazoo in the UK.
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You WOUND me Jeff, ragging on the accent of MY people!!! Seriously, I didn’t even know I had an accent until I left the Philadelphia area and stepped into prime mockable territory. My husband has known me for 11 years now and he still makes fun of my accent, which I refuse to give up.
A Brief Guide to Philadelphia Area Pronunciation:
dog = dawg
talk = tawlk
daughter = dawter
water = wuter
bury = bury (just how it’s spelled, there’s no “e” in there!)
Florida = Flahrida
And so it goes. I dunno, I think the New England accent is more grating. And nothing makes me want to maim and kill more than hearing someone say “warsh” instead of “wash”. I heard that all the time in Ohio.
The Yinzer accent is still taking some getting used to (dahntahn!). I wonder if I’ll eventually meld the Philly and the Burgh together into some sort of hellish franken-accent. Simply excellent.
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Orlando is full of rude people. You would think Mickey Mouse would have some sort of influence on them. Maybe they are just Donald Duck people.
I’m willing to bet that Cleveland has a lot of rude people too. Never been to Philly, but have known some people from there that I would not feel bad about punching in the face.
Somehow, I did not end up with a WV accent. That accent just makes me think of the short bus. My sister says “Yeayalll” insyead of “yeah” and “troooook” instead of “truck” “beabeees” instead of “babies”, as she cranks them out continually while living there. That’s the accent that gets on my nerves the most. I tell new people I meet that I am from Mars, just so they won’t ever suspect me as being from there.
Did you know- The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention the name of God? Esther ended up burning in Hell for all eternity.
On IPOD right now- “Hurt” – Johnny Cash
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I hate all accents. I can’t stand it when people talk.
Rudest city? Whatever town I happen to live in. I work really hard on my rudeness.
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It’s just worth repeating-
“Hey Ed, Heeeeeeeere’s Jesus!!!”
Guess I’m not getting that Publisher’s Clearing House check now.
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Rudest city I’ve ever encountered is Dallas. Accent that irritates me is Australian. I think this may be my first in the top 10?
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Was “Aunt Marlene” at the cookout? Did she ask about your “bloggy thing”?
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Rudest U.S. city, eh? Have to go with Minneapolis on this one. Like their weather, they’re cold, cold, cold. Now I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy my time there, just that most folks weren’t very nice and didn’t smile. Maybe their faces will crack if they make expressions in that climate.
Worst accent: Brooklyn, US of A.
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@Gretchen-Guilty as charged, I’ve managed to take the noise out of Illinois, quit ending sentences with unnecessary prepositions, but I just can’t make myself remember to take the damn r out of warsh.
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When I was in WV a couple years ago somebody in a grocery store told me they were having a sale on breakfast food, including “aigs” and “biken.” I almost had a seizure.
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The one accent that makes me want to kill someone is the NYC (maybe Brooklyn?) accent. To be fair, I don’t harbor ill will toward all Brooklynites, it’s just one asshole that I used to work with that ruined it for everyone. If I ever see him again, I might need one of you to bail me out of jail.
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Rude City – Paris, France. Those fuckers can fuck off.
Accents – French, Deep South. I love the Boston accent.
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Larry the cable guy defines the most annoying accent on earth.
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
I too, much like Gretchen, didn’t realize I had an accent(Pittsburgh Yinzer) until I was taken out of my element.
We were on vacation in Maryland and talking to our condo neighbors, I’d barely spit out a first sentence when the neighbor says:
“You’re from Pittsburgh, aren’t you?”
As far as irritating accents go, has to be Jersey Shore Guido, a deadly mixture of Philly, Brooklyn and Jersey.
Plus the way the Guido dresses doesn’t help matters much.
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Philly is probably the rudest U.S. city I’ve encountered. If I may cross the border, though, Montreal makes Philly look like Mayberry in the area of rudeness. In my experiences, they refuse to have anything to do with you and turn up their nose if you’re not speaking French, even though most of the population does speak English.
I love the British accent, but not when it comes from a person of middle-eastern descent. It just seems deceptive to me for some reason, like when they begin to speak, it’s all “ha ha! gotcha!”
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Baltimore. It sucks.
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To whomever asked about Yaz – yes…there was such a band, they toured the States last year. Can’t remember the second person, but the lead singer was Alison Moyet (or spelled something like that).
Hell, I’m in the top 30, that’s brilliant for me.
Favoritest accent e’er is Scottish. Makes me swoon (as long as it’s a guy speaking).
Not sure where he was from but I couldn’t understand a word Sterling Marlin has ever said.
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Here in the midwest, most people have sort of a hick drawl, leaving out all distinguishing consonants in the middle of words. Example: Saturday is Sa-er-ay.
Its like they know the tune but not the lyrics so they’re just humming along, pretending to speak english.
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The entire state of Minnesota is chock full of rudeness. Hating every moment of living there.
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JCIII: A lot of folks think Philly and South Jersey accents are the same, but there are subtle differences. Glad you picked up on the difference. I just call it “Joisey speak”, but I think throwing in a Guido reference is even better. And for those out there who are unfamiliar with the term “Guido”, just thank your lucky stars.
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Mmmmmmmm…off white aortas. I was wondering what to have for lunch.
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Yaz was Vince Clarke, an original member of Depeche Mode, and Alison Moyet. They had two albums, I think, and both were pretty good.
Is anyone else having trouble with PayPal?! Man, that really frosts my donut… I’ll have to look at it when I get home tonight. Sorry.
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Southern White trash accents drive me nuts. It’s like boomhauer on King of the Hill. But the high Pitched ones are the worst. We once had a little girl come over that we literally could not understand. Her older sister had to translate.
I hear:
Kin ah ha vay ah so deee?
What she said:
Can I have a soda?
For the most part, here in the South, you hear the normal tones of someone with an accent. But occasionally you’ll run into someone who just butchers English. Any kind of English.
And rudest City? Orlando is pretty awful. So is Los Angeles.
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Cajun accents, while not annoying to me, are more “special.” As in Olympics.
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“We drove for an hour, and still wasn’t on the Turnpike.”
I thought you were the Chief of Grammar Police? No?
Worst accent: Indian
Rudest city: Seattle
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I never thought I had an accent, being from Northern Illinois, but everywhere I go people say “are you from Chicago?”. The true Chicagoains accent says Dem (them) and Da (the) and Does (those). Really,, it’s just not a Saturday Night Live joke.
People in the Northern Illinois quadrant like me (not Chicago) say all our words through our noses. Like Chi-Caaah-go (push it up into your nose and you’ll know what I mean)
People south of Peoria sound like Kentucky.
I think the Boston accent is funny. I don’t mind accents, but I hate that speech impediment where it sounds like the person has a mouth full of spit.
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Chicago – both questions…
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oh, and that Paula Deen southern accent – makes me wish I were deaf. Is she for real?
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@CBS Oh yes, Paris – rudest people on earth
Rudest Accent – Pacific West Islander’s butchered english
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I am a transplanted Yinzer and based on the number of Yinzers I run into in the South I venture to say that by 2025 most Virginia’s will be drunkenly shouting ‘sliberty’, ‘stillers’ and ‘burf day’.
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yaz was pretty cool.
go esther! awg you crack me up.
minnesotans are very reserved when you first meet them, which comes off as rude. the best way to deal is to be very polite and don’t ask personal questions until you’ve talked to someone for a while. having grown up here, i didn’t realize that until i moved to nyc. people were more informal right off the bat, which i found offensive until i got used to it.
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oh yeah – and share your beer. that should get any MN’er to open up
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Having lived in the South and the Midwest all my life I must admit to an all consuming hatred of the Northeast accent. Makes me want to punch the afflicted person right in the c*cksucker…
Rudest city, Chicago. I have never been to NYC but imagine it’s worse.
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I met with general rudeness in two places I least expected it:
Williamsburg, VA
Winston-Salem, NC
Maybe I was just having a bad day in those places, being a little rude myself, but I am left with no desire to EVER return to either place. Every single person I met there behaved as if they were trying to ruin my day.
English spoken with a heavy French accent will cause me to look for large needles to poke my eardrums out with.
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I was only able to watch one episode of the Sopranos before their accents did me in. Couldn’t get past how utterly moronic they sounded. I believe I am the only person in the world who didn’t watch that show. It ain’t happenin’. Nope. Never again.
The Burgh accent is awful, awful, awful. Some days, I can barely listen to my father and half-sister speak. My step-mother is from NC and has taken on a bastardized version of the Burgh, which amazingly is not nearly as grating.
The language formerly known as Ebonics can get into a tizzy as well.
I will say this now. If ever I get to make hiring decisions again, I will NEVER hire someone incapable of speaking Standard American English, plain vanilla variety, when the situation dictates. Couldn’t care less about the way speak in your own home, but in a professional setting, it’s a whole different ball game.
Rudest city: Paris, France. Hands down. That city drove a former co-worker to the brink. He’s the gentlest, kindest, most patient man I’ve ever met (this, despite working technical support for an investment bank!). The first swear word I had ever heard out of the man’s mouth was to tell a rude Parisian to fuck off. Co-worker is Canadian, so I think he’s more than allowed such an outburst.
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People from northern Maine AKA “the County” use the phrase “Jeesum crow”.
I spent the first 27 years of my life there and I was raised around people who said that phrase constantly but I have yet to understand what it means.
(I still say it though…and I am made fun of for it.)
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Mister B — Yaz’s Upstairs at Eric’s is one of my all-time favorite albums. Wore the cassette out and eventually purchased the CD at a garage sale. (Those Philistines didn’t know what they were giving up!) I even own 3 Alison Moyet CDs because her voice brings back such pleasant memories of driving around in my 1978 VW Rabbit.
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Southern accent. Talk faster people! I have better things to do than listen to you space out your words one per second, while blurring them all together like a retarded drunk.
Parisians are pretty rude. Probably caused by all the dog shit on the floor.
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@ Brynhildr – No, your not the only one. I just couldn’t get into it either.
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@ Limey – Southern accent sounds like a British accent to me.
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Well let’s see….
Accents:
NY
NJ
Philladelphia – yes they have their own accent & attitude.
Worst city
By FAR – FILTH-I-DELPHIA
City of Brotherly Love – what crackhead made up that slogan?
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Jen – It was William Penn. That is what Philadelphia means in Greek.
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Well, in 2007 Philadelphia was voted home of the least attractive people. They were also “the least stylish, least active, least friendly and least worldly”.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSSAT25368720071022
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@ Jeff – Change Management!!! You get to listen to what I do on a daily basis.
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@ Jen – I think that was Ben Franklin but the jury is still out as to if it was before or after the kite flying incident.
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My bad, it was Bill Penn. Damn quacker quoting a greek term always throws me off.
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Rudest City US- Washington DC
Rudest City Elsewhere- Paris
Irritating Accent US- NY(Brooklyn)
Irritating Accent Elsewhere- Chinese
Love, Love, Love Bunker Cam!!!
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Not a big fan of the southern accent. It makes people sound less intelligent than they really are.
I’m originally from northern Indiana. When I moved to the southwest, people always asked me if I was from the midwest. Apparently something in my speech pattern gave it away. Could have been the “ending sentences in unnecessary prepositions” thing.
“I’m going to the mall. Wanna go with?”
I lived in Las Vegas for a year and a half. Fucking rude people there, like they’re all entitled to something.
I like Yaz, but then again, I like everything that Vince Clarke has been involved in.
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There are unattractive people everywhere and Philly is not exactly known for it’s friendliness. These things I can accept. However, saying we’re not “worldly” is intolerable. Philly’s got culture coming out of our ears. It lays claim to a ton of great museums and universities and it’s generally a progressive city that’s tolerant of different peoples. But hey, if you prefer the homogeneity and narrow mindedness of Backwater, USA, be my fucking guest.
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I know that its not an accent but i HATE ebonics.
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@Tammie – I say Jeezum Crow a lot and I’m born and bred in Western PA.
As far as the meaning, it’s a substitute for taking the Lord’s name in vain, kind of like (rhymes with) Cheese and Rice.
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and it’s not “City of Brotherly Love” it’s “City of Brothers on Drugs”
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I agree with the Paris comment – although of course you can’t paint everyone with the same brush just by where they live. I was on a sleeper car going through there once and was on a top bunk and asked the guy underneath me if he could please open the door. He scowled at me and said he didn’t speak English. I replied ‘Good then you won’t understand it when I call you a f’kn idiot’. I then proceed to ask him in French. His buddies thought that was hilarious – him not so. (I’m usually quite nice to people but just had to jump on the opportunity)
For the States, I haven’t stopped over in L.A. in forever but recall that every clerk (airport, rental cars, etc) there is angry at the world. For accents I find Texans a little overwhelming. For world accents, I am more annoyed by British mannerisms than accents but they kinda go hand in hand. I dated a British guy for a short period of time he was way too high maintenance!
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“Its like they know the tune but not the lyrics so they’re just humming along, pretending to speak english.”
Robin- this is hilarious.
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The Southern accent can go either way, If someone has a touch of it I find it charming, If they overdo it a la Paula Dean and her “ya’lls” and “ahyul” (oil) it can be tremendously annoying.
The rudest city I have visited is Washington D.C. The friendliest is New Orleans. Maybe even a bit too friendly (***wink***).
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Yikes! Gretchen, my post was meant in jest. I give little credence to ridiculous polls/surveys, and I don’t give two shits about what other people think about my hometown. If that’s what will keep them away, they can go right on thinking as they please. I hate tourists anyway.
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I usually love listening to all kinds of accents. It’s the jack-assery attitude that sometimes goes comes from the sack that’s spewing it that messes it up for me. I love listening to Andy Taylor’s drawl and think it is sing-song, but when my SIL keeps yakking and just won’t shut up, I gotta leave the room.
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@ Mister B. – I don’t know anything about Yazoo, but about 25 years ago I had a random compilation cassette tape, and one of the songs was “Don’t Go” by Yaz/Yazoo. Remains one of my favorite songs to this day.
@ CBS (and many others) – French fucks are rude. I’ve never really “been” to Paris, but had a long airport layover one day so I ventured in to see what was going on. Beautiful city. I went in to a small bistro (or whatever) and bought a snack and a drink. The dude rang it up as one price, then, when he realized I wasn’t French, rang it up again as double the original price. Eat shit and die France.
@ Brynhildr – Never watched the Soprano’s. Or CSI. Or Lost. Or any of these other serials that seem to be all the rage these past ten years. It’s not that they are bad TV. It’s just that I don’t like being sucked in to something that (a) forces you to watch every episode and (b) everyone talks about. I mean, really, aren’t these serials just soap operas with swear words?
@ Tammie – I’m going to start saying “Jeezum Crow”. Love it. I think Jeff needs to add that to his Thursday list.
@ All – great comments today. I laughed out loud several times.
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@ Brynhildr: I was more yelling at the article and the touristas therein than at you specifically. Thanks for not buying into what the article said. Fucking tourists.
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Gretchen and Brynhilder:
Not only do I have to deal with fucking tourists, I have to deal with fucking hippies.
I hate hippies.
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Apologies for being the wet blanket here, but let’s not all start saying “jeezum crow.” It sounds like you wanted to say something both profane and clever but manage to sound wimpy and unoriginal instead. If you’re going to deploy an epithet then either jump right in with both feet (“fuckface!”) or completely off the wall (“festival!” or “yardarm!”).
That said, at least it’s not “Jeebus” which has to be my most-hated term right now. Like Jerry on that episode of Senfeld, this doesn’t offend me on a religious level, it offends me as a person with a sense of humor. It was funny the first time Homer said it, but aggressively anti-funny the roughly 18 million times it’s been used since.
Correction: my most-hated phrase right now is “winner, winner, chicken dinner,” clearly the most inane, pointless, let-me-fill-the-air-with-my-own-voice noise pollution that’s suddenly all over the place. I’ve inexplicably heard six different people say this in the last three months. Seriously, stop now, or go for plan B, which is drowning yourself in an outhouse. Fuck.
Most Sincerely,
junkfood
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Add me to the list of Paris haters. Those were some rude bastards when I went there.
In Philly, I was expecting seriously rude people but was surprised to find that most folks seemed nice, or at least not rude.
I do have to say the one exception was some total bitch driving in front of me down 5th street. She decided she needed to park in a spot that she had already driven by. Without any effort to communicate her desires to me, she simply slammed on the brakes, put it in reverse and commenced to parallel park in the worst possible way. This lady had no idea what she was doing.
Being the friendly natured person I am, I sat there and laughed at her. When I thought that she had finally made her way into the parking space, I attempted to go around her. Apparently, in Philadelphia, that is a sign of rudeness, because she immediately began to honk her horn and flip me off. I just laughed even more but it was all I could do to restrain my wife and daughter from wanting to jump out and kick the ass of the lady.
Good times.
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I have to concur with most of you – the rudest city is Philly. It is the only city in the world where I have been screamed at by a shop clerk for accidently giving her a receipt with my cash and then 30 minutes later by some Islamic fundamentalists for daring to be white (while I was with my kids both times, by the way).
But I live the city itself though. And I have several friends from Philly, so I know it isn’t everyone.
The nicest city I have been to is probably Dallas… in fact, all of Texas is really friendly (and I am not a native – from Michigan originally).
Accents – I love accents… and I pretty much like them all. So my worst accent is pretty weird because the worst accent is only on select women from New England who are LOUD and nasal. Otherwise I love New England accents in all of their varieties, especially since my fiancee is from Boston and has the accent – it is sexy. Maybe it is better on men… who knows.
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I don’t feel like such a dork now because I know Yaz. Their album/CD “Upstairs at Eric’s” is a great listen while driving down the road.
Worst accent – Brooklyn on a woman. Some time ago I worked in NYC for a couple of weeks and could put with the accent from some of the men (the cute ones) but when I heard the ladies . . . like nails on a blackboard. Reminds of John Travolta’s lady friend on Saturday Night Fever. Ugh!!
Most not rude – NYC
Most rude – Any suburb outside of Los Angeles
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I liked Tammie’s Jeezum Crow when she first mentioned it. Endearing.
Now that JCIII has hipped me to it being taking the Lord’s name in vain, it all make sense!
Just like my CheeseNRice!
TY JCIII
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I intensely dislike the many accents of Eastern Europe. There’s no specific reason why except that most of my contact with the people of Eastern Europe was during grad school where I frequently encountered ex-pat eastern block professors who despite living in and reaping the benefits of the “west” had nothing but contempt for both Americans and Canadians.
On a more positive note many of you may remember the band Sunny Day Real Estate. They have reformed and are touring. Here are the dates they just announced:
September 17 Vancouver, BC/Commodore Ballroom
September 18 Portland/Crystal Ballroom (Musicfest NW)
September 20 Salt Lake City/Murray Theater
September 21 Denver/Ogden Theater
September 23 Minneapolis/First Avenue
September 24 Chicago/Metro
September 25 Detroit/St Andrews Hall
September 27 New York/Terminal 5
September 28 Boston/House of Blues
September 30 Washington DC/930 Club
October 1 Philadelphia/Trocadero
October 3 Atlanta/CW Center Stage
October 5 Dallas/Granada Theater
October 6 Houston/Warehouse Live
October 7 Austin/La Zona Rosa
October 9 Tempe/Marquee Theatre
October 10 Anaheim/House of Blues
October 11 Los Angeles/Henry Fonda Theater
October 13 San Francisco/Fillmore
October 15 Spokane/Knitting Factory
October 16 Seattle/Paramount Theatre
I vowed in the past to never return to Detroit, but I may be forced to make an exception.
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@aminnev
Been to NYC a few times. Like everywhere else there is good and bad with everything, met some people I loved and also some I wished I could squish. I was with some friends waiting to get into a club – (and frankley I’m definitely not that into myself that I want to wait in a line up to be at the most hip place.) I went to ask the Hostess how long it might take to get through the line when Joan River’s evil twin and daughter (if that is fathomable) jumped out in front of me and interrupted my question in a ‘do you know who I am sort of way’. (Yeah some hag that just jumped out in front of me is who you are). I gently touched her shoulder and asked her not to interrupt me and she screamed at me never to touch her again. I gave her the once up and down and told her there was definitely no fear of that happening again. Crowd loved it – I hate drama – what an idiot.
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@ CBS, Steve, Brynhildr, Limey, et al.:
The French (both the European and the Canadian varieties) are notorious for being rude, especially Parisians. I was there last year and the weird thing is I encountered some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I have no doubt that my experience was atypical, but I don’t think I encountered a single person who was rude the entire week I was there.
Q: Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?
A: So the Germans can march in the shade.
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@ Shiny Rod – there’s no denying that Southerners sound like drunk retards, even on the rare occurrences when they’re not.
Paula Dean being a case in point – drunk retard zombie.
Full disclosure – I own at least one Paula Dean cookbook – she can at least write in English.
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Tyrosine – that’s why it is so not good to paint everyone with the same brush – I hate that. I am a western Canadian (Vancouver and Calgary mostly for now, aslo live in the Arctic and Australia). There is such a sense of arrogance and my ‘rights’ wtf. I don’t want to get into the arguement. Except for Aboriginals we are all immigrants so wtf.
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Miami has more than their fair share of miserable fucks.
Accents don’t bother me.
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I’ll admit I haven’t made it through all 77 posts yet, but Philly needs a little love….
Philly is just misunderstood.
I love Philadelphia and miss it all the time,
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@Misselle: The “Islamic fundamentalist” of which you speak was probably a member of the Nation of Islam. I never had one of them get up in my face about anything, but since many of them are hand in glove with the black power movement I’m not terribly surprised by your encounter. Sorry you had a bad experience.
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I miss it too, Other Kristen. If I could afford it (and if certain things about it didn’t drive my Midwestern husband up a wall) I’d move back. But my adopted city of Pittsburgh is very very nice. Slightly slower pace, but not too slow as to annoy. Less status seeking, more wilderness and open space to enjoy. And you can’t deny their sports teams put Philly’s to shame, dang it. Come on Eagles organization; learn something from the Rooneys!!
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If we are talking about non-US locations, of course Paris wins the gold, silver and bronze for rudeness. It’s a shame because it is indeed a great city (food, museums, architecture, you name it). But the people? A bunch of smelly, surrendering, arrogant fucks.
They have the nerve to constantly criticize the US while failing to remember that they would ALL now be speaking German, even over Das Internet, if we had not come to their rescue on June 6, 1944.
Don’t get me started…
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Place I felt most welcome: Portland, OR
I have to concur on Paris being very unfriendly.
I find accents intriquing, however, I do not find all of them pleasant.
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@ Leanne:
Like I said, I’m basing it on the experiences I’ve had. Do I think all people from Eastern Europe are douches? Obviously not. However when I do hear an Eastern Europe accent it tends to remind me of those negative experiences. Think of it as classical conditioning.
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SO….there are others who say “Jeezum Crow”.
I don’t feel so alone anymore!!!
I can now say it with PRIDE, KNOWING THAT OTHER SURF REPORTERS WILL SPEAK OF THE “JEEZUM CROW” WITHOUT SHAME!!!
It is a proud day indeed for all the people like me in this world…..
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@ Leanne:
On second read I believe I completely missed the point of your post.
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Tyrosine – I am not into the agruments with French Canadians and have many friends from there but just don’t understand it. This is not the place to waste peoples time to talk about politics. My Dad is an immigrant from France – doesn’t mean that’s away to talk about people. Anyway’s noone else wants to hear about this.
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Glad I’m in good company when it comes to Paris. Paris wins the rudest city award because after politely explaining (in French) that I don’t speak French, but can understand a little, and then asking (in French) if the person I was trying to converse with perhaps spoke either German, Mandarin, or English, I still got attitude and what I think was a “fucking Americans” type of response. Happened more than a few times. I experimented and claimed to be German or even Canadian, but got only slightly less contempt.
I did however once sit next to a nice, young Frenchman on a flight to Paris, but he was one of the stereotypically smelly ones and he was trying to hit on me. For most of the flight, I wondered whether it would be better to have a rude bastard that bathed sitting next to me for 11 hours.
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Accent: The “look at me I’m REALLY gay” accent as used by those who can’t get enough attention by walking with a limp wrist while wearing high heels.
CIty: Cincinnati. What a bunch of unfriendly shitheads, especially the idiots at Paul Brown Stadium during the fall months. That is why we do all our city visiting to Indianapolis.
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Most annoying accent BY FAR: dumb hick. My parents live in southern California, but they attract transplanted hillbilly friends like nobody’s business, and the WV/Tennessee accents can be PAINFUL. Funny thing though: a person who grew up in those areas possessing two brain cells to rub together has a (magically) not-so-noticeable accent…
Most painful foreign language to listen to: Vietnamese. Try it sometime. You’ll cringe.
Closest I’ve ever come to punching someone foreign: a classmate I had who was from Iran and had somehow talked somebody into giving her a Ph.D. but was a fundamental non-listening, dull-edged asshat. She would ask a stupid question (YES, they exist.), blink three times in rapid succession at the end of it, and then stare at you unblinking — didn’t matter how long it took — until you answered her or she decided to repeat her nonsense more loudly.
WHEW, good to get that off my chest!
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THE example of the WV/Tennessee accent I have in mind: Huell Howser. He hosts a show on the public broadcasting channel in California, where he goes around to interesting sites/attractions and gets the inside scoop on stuff (http://www.calgold.com/). I’ll admit, some of it’s interesting stuff. But his questions are idiotic and his accent’s unlivable. He literally drives me from the room if my parents insist on leaving the program on.
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Knucklehead — does this brighten your day a little? (I think we’re in the same neck of the woods.)
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/06/23/national/a154200D21.DTL&tsp=1
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@Jack…Larry the Cable Guy’s ‘act…cent’ bugs me too.
I’m cool with ‘accents’. Many here in the States for sure.
I guess the folks at an out-sourced customer service place bug me a bit. If it’s too bad I hang up and call back in hoping for the best.
Used to hang a bit with a guy who would call someone a “baxterd”….(bastered)…..I’d just say right after that…”Yeah, what a fuckhead”.
No bad city stories I guess and I was on the road from 17 to 38. Went everywhere. Honest. Met some folks I didn’t like too much but within 15 seconds (30 at the most for another 15 second chance) I’d walk away. They were out of my life and I’d never see them again. Still feel that way today.
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I’m excited to get my shirt!!!
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@ DTO – Git-r-done!!!
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@Shiny Rod…I don’t care who you are…that was funny right there…Thanks!!
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Clip for “Don’t Go” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaHuzkyurC0
Funkadelic. And Knucklehead, stop hating hippies. Peace, love, dove.
Another clip from the same random cassette compilation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtnFg0KOQcA
Pull up to the bumper baby – just not with Grace Jones. That’s a petri dish.
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My father was transferred several times while I was growing up. I was in five different schools from elementary through high school. So I have experiences with several of the cities mentioned. Funny thing…I have 3 siblings that were “deposited” in each city we lived….Philly, Chicago, and God-forsaken Terre Haute, IN.
Gotta go with Philly for rudness. My own sister lives there among the “well-to-do”. When she and her husband built their summer home in Florida she told us peon’s, “Don’t think this is your annual vacation spot”….and so it goes…
LOVED Chicago! My bother stayed behind during my fathers’ many moves. Great shopping and antique shops if you are into that kind of thing.
But I must say, the ‘Burg was tough for me. Being transplanted in a new school at the tender age of 12 is tough. The “clicks” have alread been formed and I didn’t belong in one of them. The city has many “neighborhoods” and they all have different attitudes. I have encountered both some of the rudest fucks and some of the nicest people ever. So it depends on which “neighborhood” you are in.
We were voted one of the least cities to experience road rage in the country. They serious??? I have to travel through downtown PGH to get to work. These fucking people would run over their grandmother to cut you off…then flip YOU off because the HAD to do it!!! What the…??
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Go read “Captain Kirk and his Dick of Death”, here:
http://daswede.blogspot.com/
Tammie is awesome.
Did you know- Filter’s singer is the younger brother of T1000 (from T-2 movie)
On IPOD right now- “Fade to Black”- Metallica
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The only seat available on the train was next a well dressed middle-aged French woman and was being used by her dog.
The weary traveler asked, “Ma’am, please move your dog. I need that seat.” The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my little FiFi is using that seat?”
The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there?”. I’m very tired.”
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant….Imagine!”
The American didn’t say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honour and chastise the American.
An English man sitting opposite spoke up indignantly “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”
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Paris, New York, London, The rudeness is not personal it’d just the only way to deal with living in such close proximity to the huddled masses! Lived in all 3 In every case it’s not the people who are rude just the effin waiters!!
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I’d have to say the rudest place is Philadelphia, and Los Angeles wasn’t great either. I love NY accents (good thing) and Boston accents, not a fan of the Midwest, or PA Dutch accents. I grew up in PA and moved to Brooklyn 4 years ago, people here can’t understand why, all they want is “the countryside and green grass” I HATED living there, and am reminded of why I moved every time I go back to visit the family that is still there.
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Wow, what a run on sentence!! lol
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@Pagan
I had no problems in London, Berlin, Tokyo, or any other city I visited. So I am going to say it is personal.
It’s not like I barged into a shop and screamed “WHERE ARE THE CHEESEBURGERS!” When I travel, Ii make a effort. Sure, I am a tourist, but I am not going to expect the society to change for me. I am respectful.
Every city OTHER than Pairs, people would help me out. In Paris they treated me like I was wearing a dog turd beard.
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@ junkfood: I’m totally going with “yardarm!” from now on.
@Misselle: You seem to have met one of the 5% or so of the Islamospooks who are totally out of their minds, too bad for you (and for them, for the impression their dumbass brethren leave). I sat among six – count ‘em, six – of Farrakhan’s goons on a flight from Oakland to Chicago one time some years ago, and not only were they extremely dignified and well-mannered to everyone around them, the one sitting next to me cheerfully put up with me asking him all sorts of questions for three hours.
Oh, and people from Tennessee sound like complete retards, they substitute “don’t care” for “don’t mind”, as in “If you don’t care, would you pick me up a rebuilt radiator core for my still while y’aller at the Auto Zone?”
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CBS…wearing a dog turd beard!!! LOL! I’ll think about that all day long and every time I see some dude with a beard. HILARIOUS!
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I guess I’m blocked or something – my comments wont show up
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@ CBS….”like I was wearing a dog turd beard”. BRILLIANT! I’m using it…if you don’t mind…
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Southern or “country” drawls. I don’t care who’s got it, how educated they are, or what they’re saying. I think they sound like idiots
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Most annoying accent-James Carville.
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Trying again:
I can’t say much about any specific city, although, in my limited travels – people around New Jersey seem pretty of rude – unless you’re throwing money around in Atlantic city.
Maybe it’s just the stereotype that people in that area are not friendly that just made me jaded.
Generally speaking, I’d say Texas is pretty friendly, with some exceptions:
1) Austin drivers are fucking rude and selfish. The people are extremely weird and Seattle-like, but ok other than that. I guess annoying does not always = rude.
2) People who move here from farther north (and Canada) with their, “Well, that’s not how we do it in New York / Schenectady / L.A ./ Saskatoon / San Diego / DC.” and point their snoot up real high, will piss off MOST Texans to the point of gunplay.
3) Small towns here can be kind of cliquish and hard to get social right away.
4) Some border towns are VERY rude – if you are white AND are visibly uncomfortable being in a 95% Mexican area. Eagle Pass, Laredo, Del Rio.
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Flying monkeys can tend to be very rude. Especially when they are kidnapping Dorothy and Toto and dismembering the scarecrow in the process.
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Not uncomfortable, but it seems like Snorasota is now 95% Mexican, and yes, they are rude here. Can’t get a goddamn glass of water in a restaurant if you ask Juan for one. It’s like the Hispanic “Fuck you” to ignore me. So yeah Snorasota is very rude, as well. Anybody else been here?
Did you know- Only two states’ names begin with double consonants: Florida and Rhode Island?
On IPOD right now- “The Bends”- Everlast
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Rude is people who come to America and refuse to learn or speak english. I can deal with just about anyones accent as long as they make they attempt and pronouce the words in proper english. Besides, Iv’e been to Australia and they have a whole new twist to language down there. Shrimp don’t do good on the Barbie here…
On iPOD right now – “Even Then” – Hiroshima
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@ Lee Harvey Ramone – Then Toto shouldn’t have pissed on the Tin Man…
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@ garrett – I’m from New Jersey and the only thing I found rude was the smell coming from Bristol, Pennsylvania.
On iPOD right now – “Night Rhythms” – Lee Rittenour
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@ pagan – “And now, Sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”
Now that was hillarious…
On iPOD right now – “Mr. Blue” – Michael Franks
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Wow, have you guys seen Metten’s rip into someone that posts here over at Mockable?
Did you know- Florida’s Governor is married, but is really not that way?
On IPOD right now- “Don’t Change”- INXS
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My son just went to Philadelphia a few weeks ago. We are from a small town west of Cleveland. He was so impressed with Philly that he wants to move there! And he has been to Chicago and New York City. Personally the place where I was treated the worst was Texas. I needed to use the bathroom which there were never any to speak of, and this biatch drawls…Aint got no bathroom heeear. Their roadside rests were areas where you would go over a fence and do your business on the ground. There were turds and t.p. all over the place ewwww, This was west Texas in the boonies. That is only one example of my experience. We decided to go up to Colorado for our Honeymoon instead of staying in Texas. I love most accents and try to mimic them. Only the French accent speaking english really annoys me. Anthony Bourdain had a show in Romania and that must be the armpit of the world! Total rudenss and disregard for human life there.
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@debra
Yeah, I don’t have much to say about West Texas, except that the rest area thing is true out there (30 years ago they were ALL like that) and that it’s the only place that you can see a mailbox beside an unpaved driveway ON an interstate highway (IH10).
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I second Cincatardy – My roommate and I have lived a lot of places (me Army, him Navy) and by far this is the worst city.
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I love accents!! I never realized I had one, till I moved to Atlanta from northern illinois. ugh. I got the hairy eyeball every time I opened my mouth. With a disgusted”yous a yankee, aint ya??”
Umm, yea. also dated a man who loved the preposition ending thing..my phrase “wanna go with” sent him rolling every time. Made perfect sense to me but whatever. I though atlanta was rude…but maybe I turned all them off with my “high faluting northern accent” hahaha
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Hi,
sorry I’m late I’ve been in Hospital.
I’m not sure if anyone will ever read this but….
Worst accent – strong Glaswegian. ‘awrightbigman’ its really over the top. Whats with the nasal blockage or ‘Clyde sinus’, as I call it? Blech!
Rudest city – Amsterdam.
This was a surprise for me too, but those Dutch fucks suck!
I’ve been there many times and it never fails blow me away how rude they can be.
To quote Dr Evil- ‘ya freaky Dutch bastard!’
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