Our Toilet Is No Longer A Reliable Agent
Our upstairs toilet needs to be lifted high above someone’s head (not mine), and hurled into a landfill somewhere. It’s no longer a reliable agent; you never know what you’re going to get with the thing. It’s like a Hitchcock movie, every time.
In fact, it’s strictly a pee-only zone at this point, because nobody wants to risk it. “Turds in the hall” are four words none of us ever want to string together.
I’m sure it’s the original crap-catcher, from when this house was built in 1966. And I shudder at the number of asses that have likely been vacuum-sealed to it since the Johnson Administration. The number of asses… and whatnot.
Plus, the opening in the seat is kinda square, if you know what I mean. Not completely square, but squareish. I’d never seen such a thing… It’s supposed to be a poop-hoop, not like shitting through a window. Ya know?
Toney talked to a plumber we’ve used over the years, and he agreed it’s time for a change. That toilet has nickel and dimed us for years, it’s just one thing after another with it. But the dude has strong opinions…
“Don’t buy any of the garbage they sell at Lowe’s or Home Depot,” he hollered. “You need to go to a real plumbing supply house!”
What the hell? Is he implying that we require an industrial shitter, that a normal-people model won’t work in our case? No, I don’t think so. I think he’s just a plumber with a lot of experience, and knows things.
He told us the model to buy, and it’s made by Kohler. I can’t remember the exact name of it. Maybe the Ticonderoga? Or was it the Enola Gay? I forget, but Toney has it written down somewhere.
We checked it out online, and the thing costs almost $500! It certainly reads like a quality product (bulk flushing!), but it oughta be. Five hundred?! Sweet sainted mother of the red spot on Jupiter!!
But I guess we’d never again have to worry about teenage “Hi-C cans,” huh? That would be a thing of the past, right? I have a feeling the Ticonderoga could handle anything you throw at it. Wow!
I’ll keep you updated on this most important of issues.
While I was driving to work yesterday, I started thinking about those ridiculous folding screens people used to prop against the inside of their windshields, to help keep their cars cool while parked. Remember those things? About five years ago they were incredibly important, and everybody had one. Now I rarely see them.
What happened? Why were they so essential in 2002, but not now? Why did everybody need one, all at the same time, then seemingly gave them up en masse? Well, I’ll tell you why… Click here for the answer.
I went to Hags ‘n’ Fags a few days ago for an “adult cut,” and the woman asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed. That’s a straight-up old man procedure, isn’t it? I can’t remember anyone asking that question, until recently.
What’s next? Would you like for me to grease your wattle? I don’t care for any of it…
Speaking of really old, at what age do people start drinking coffee with every meal? I think my parents recently crossed-over, and they’re, like, 67. Is that the correct time period?
I can’t imagine. “Yes, I’ll have a Burrito Supreme, two crunchy tacos, and… a large coffee.” Blecch. You certainly wouldn’t need the Ticonderoga in that situation, because it would be fully liquid.
And since we’re on this pleasant subject… I took a huge risk at work a few nights ago, and drank an Orange Crush.
Back when I had a paper route I learned that any kind of orange-flavored soda caused an instant disturbance in the lower quadrant, and I’d end up doing the knees-together brisk-walk to the bathroom. So, I risked a more than 25-year streak of never crapping at work, by guzzling that thing.
And I’m happy to report that I made it through… I experienced some light gurgling, but was able to tap into an inner strength, and ride-out the storm. Heck, I didn’t even break a sweat.
At this point I’m a seasoned professional, and it’s going to take a whole lot more than just an Orange Crush to break my spirit. I laugh in the face of Orange Crush! Ha!
What food or drink never fails to make you do the brisk-walk? Use the comments link, to bring us up to date on it. Starbucks is very, very dangerous to me. It’s something I avoid, in fact, because of that very reason. It almost always leads to noises like a nearly-empty squeeze bottle. And there’s a time and place for everything…
Heh, Priceline approved me as an advertiser yesterday. After this update, I have a feeling they’ll rescind their offer.
I’m going to stop right here, boys and girls. Tomorrow I’ll zero out the ol’ notebook, so be prepared for another disjointed mess!
Filed under: Daily
Welcome back Mr. Kay
[Reply]
“because it would be fully liquid.” LOL LOL LOL
[Reply]
Try the marintelli’s apple juice. Never fails to get me going. And why do you not get the beauty of being paid to poop? I is one little way to poop back at the Man.
[Reply]
Let’s see, milk 10 days past the expiration date over Rice Crispies does it for me, but I think a more scientific process taking place might be the cause.
[Reply]
I can tell I’m getting old because just about every meal out requires a hurried trim to the “comforts” of home. It could be that out is about the only place I eat fried stuff anymore.
I have a replacement toilet story, too, but it’ll have to wait. I gotta . . .
[Reply]
While my stomach is finnicky about a good deal of things, fettuccini alfredo is like the gastrointestinal apocalypse.
[Reply]
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters….
Regardless of the food consumed, the first cup of coffee and first morning schmigarette gets me high steppin’ it to the facilities.
Recently though the wife made a Tex-Mex food fiesta, burritos, refried beans, salsa and sour cream. That was processed in a record time. Talk about gut rumbling…..
[Reply]
haiku about at-work dumps:
take a shit at work
right there on the sales floor
leave a caution sign…
top10? hahahaha
[Reply]
poop-hoop!
i just told my buddy today he needed an eyebrow trim, and he’s only 44. if she suggected it, you probably need one. i’m not saying you have to get super-groomed brows, but you don’t want to look like a physics professor either….
[Reply]
My mom’s chicken casserole……works better than ex-lax.
[Reply]
i can’t eat melons or grapes anymore, which makes me sad. there’s not a lot of fruit i like, and the onset of this syndrome at about age 30 cut my list in half.
i also lose almost anything i eat for breakfast within about 20 min. after a night of heavy beer drinking. not other alcohols, just beer, and it has to be a lot of it.
and now you all know more than you need to about someone you don’t know.
[Reply]
I have “mystery” lactose intolerance. It’s a mystery whether it will cause a “situation” or not, so I avoid any dairy items while out and about, or if I’m getting ready to go out.
[Reply]
Anything and everything from Taco Bell gets me to the porcelain, and it ain’t pretty!
[Reply]
That plumbing contractor sounds like my dad – also a plumbing contractor. Your guy is right though, there is a difference. $500 seems like a ton, but what else have you recently purchased in that price range that you will get as much use and derive as much, um, satisfaction? It’s about quality of life, dude.
[Reply]
KFC, ’nuff said.
[Reply]
McDonald’s breakfast burritos kill me every time.
[Reply]
The Kohler faucet in my kitchen (long gone, lasted 3 years) was a piece of shit, if that’s any indication of their products.
Get one of those fancy Japanese toilets and recoup your outlay by charging a Dollar a dump.
[Reply]
For I think 600 bucks you can get this one:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_toilet
The best line is:
A replacement pump was sent from Russia in a diplomatic pouch so that Space Shuttle Discovery could bring it to the station as part of mission STS-124 on June 2nd.
Heh heh, diplomatic shit pouch.
[Reply]
Once, in Menlo Park, CA, I ordered a large cup of drip coffee at the Peet’s store there. There was a small park nearby where I sat with some coworkers to drink it down. Four sips later (that shit is STRONG), I was clenching the ole buttcheeks together on a park bench, trying not to have “a accident” right there on the bench. I hobbled back to work for a blowout dump that probably cracked the bowl. Good times.
65 is the right age for having coffee with every meal, right around retirement. I hear you need less sleep as you get older, maybe this is why?
[Reply]
Jeff, I’ll dig you an outhouse for 60 bucks…
[Reply]
Rare form today Mr.Kay. This should go in the greatist (s)hits
[Reply]
Welches Concord Grape juice at room temperature. If it’s cold, it’s no problem. Otherwise, clear a path and bring a mop.
[Reply]
bacon. I have no gallbladder. nuff said.
[Reply]
…teenage Hi-C cans…. Simply excellent!
[Reply]
Weasels ripped my flesh !! I have not seen that in years.Zappa and I share the same birthday.
[Reply]
This was great! Thanks Jeff.
Grapes and apples go right through me. Taco Bell takes exactly 14 hours. It comes on out of nowhere and it’s explosive every time. Still my favorite fast food.
[Reply]
Anything off the menu at Applebee’s causes a full system purge. Think its the grease or whatever that they use. I make the hubby linger over dessert (his not mine) just incase the “disturbance” kicks in faster than we can drive home. If we do leave and the rush begins, he knows that sweat beading on the upper lip is a sure sign that he’s not driving fast enough.
Pretty much the only reason we got a garage door opener is so that you have your have hands free for unbuckling while running down the hall.
I love dinner out.
[Reply]
Coffee, apple juice, and grape juice all get me running. Some of you have heard the shit story, after all.
After a night of heavy drinking you might as well chain me to a toilet. TMI, I know. But I am not the one who brought this subject up!
[Reply]
Things I can’t eat/ drink on a work day:
Coffee of any type
Burger King breakfast sandwiches (I refuse to call them “Croissanwiches”
[Reply]
WHOO-HOOO! My favorite subject! Either you are a “poopy-person” or you’re not…!!
Gotta go with the AM coffee…just the smell and I’m tripping over three hungry dogs and a cat. Also, we have the best Japanese steak house here in the ‘Burg but if you plan to make a night out of it…think again. The shit-house-shuffle is the only activity you’ll be able to handle…..if you even make the drive home.
[Reply]
BTW, stop listening to the plumbers. They are like doctors, they want you to keep coming back. A 600 dollar toilet doesn’t do anything more that the cheaper ones other than flush out your wallet faster. Get a dual flush, that will solve most of the problems.
[Reply]
Ahh, the poop-shoot fire in the hole run…
Chick Fil A is known to send me scurrying. I bank on that for those days I’m less than regular.
Coffee, any time of day…30 minutes lead time.
I eat healthy 90% of the time, so anything fried is a treat, however I pay dearly for it. I keep pepto in my purse for the nights when staying out past dinner time is required. Block up my colon for a few hours, drink a TON, then make sure I go home alone because the next morning ain’t pretty.
Wine drunk and beer drunk produce pretty awful hangover poo.
I once had to leave my date mid-movie to run home and poo. We’d had pulled pork bbq with slaw…it was bad. I told him I was allergic to his cat and had to run home and get my allergy medicine so I didn’t break out in hives. I wasn’t about the blow the back out of the toilet at his parents house. Thankfully I lived close and was back in 20 minutes.
[Reply]
Anything with blue cheese on it causes ass shrapnel to exit quickly.
[Reply]
Regarding new commode: Get the Kohler Cimarron. 1.6 Gallon per flush. I think we paid $369 or $389 at Lowe’s.
I believe it is impossible to clog this toilet. My daughter uses about 50 feet of toilet paper per poop with no problems. Actually, I believe you could flush the Sunday New York Times down this thing. I will eventually replace our other shitters with this model.
My personal “Double Alarm Emergency Number Two” food is Biscuits with Sausage Gravy at Bob Evans. Guaranteed, I will not make it out of the restaurant without a bathroom stop after consuming that. And, yet I still order it every time we go there.
[Reply]
I’ve always longed for an “Al Bundy Toilet” (see my link). Maybe someday I’ll splurge on that luxury.
[Reply]
Cimarron! That was the one!! But he said it had to be the two-piece, from a plumbing supply house. I have no idea what that means…
[Reply]
$500 for a toilet is preposterous. You can take the lid off the tank and they’ll be a date stamped on the inside of the tank. That’s when the toilet was made. Unless it’s been replaced it’ll tell you how old the house is. I use that little trick all the time.
I don’t know of any foods or drinks that makes me lose control of my bowels. I’m not a public shitter either, never have been. I never shat at school or at work or really anywhere except home base. Most men are public shitters, I think. Whenever I go to piss at a book store or wherever, there’s a public shitter in there grunting it up. Sometimes they leave right afterwards. Goddamn, couldn’t you wait to get home?
[Reply]
cimmaron? i find it pretty funny that toilets have catchy model names…
[Reply]
Jeff – I highly recommend Toto Brand crap catchers, we have two and to date they have handled everything we can deliver and more.
[Reply]
I didn’t know toilets had names. what a world!! Everything has a model!! I have an issue with sour cream that isn’t freshly opened..not really sure what is up with that but it isn’t right. Like if I opened it yesterday..don’t eat it today!! Pear Juice is good for constipation, so I am not surprised by all the juice people!!!
Good luck an your poopers yall.
[Reply]
Toilet advise. Although I think everything should be enviromentally friendly. I wouldn’t recommend a ‘press 1 for a #1, press 2 for a #2 toilets’ environmentally toilet if you live in a house with any premenapausol women…. There’s not a tampon option and they clog up super quick. Maybe too much info but just a fact.
[Reply]
Further Evidence:
After watching that I thought they were trying to win a large sum of money, but they did it for the cheese.
Strange and I love cheese. Love it!
Except the feta cheese on a Wendy’s Salad.
Like clockwork…
NO MORE WAV FILES as links.
That was just rude LOL
Try this cool WP plug-in the next time:
Audio Player
http://www.1pixelout.net/code/audio-player-wordpress-plugin/
It puts makes a small player to listen right on the site.
Congrats on being available on the Kindle.
I remember posting you a link to instructions to do that
the minute I found out about it.
I think that’s neat.
Was anyone else thinking a Furgeson?
Jeff has a wax seal to look forward too. Bleh.
[Reply]
Jason, for some unknown reason, book stores make my bowels clench sumptin awful. It never fails I’ll go into Borders to check out some books and CD’s and I have to run to the bathroom. It doesn’t matter how well I feel when I go in, it is almost immediate that I cramp up. Anyone else experience this phenomenon? My kids used to call the video store the farting store because the same thing happened in there. I used to be horrified if I had to go anywhere in public but with age came the I don’t care attitude, except at work that is. Pizza Hut pepperoni pan pizza really gets me. And drinking binges involving Seagram’s and Coke.
[Reply]
Oh, I forgotted. Let her trim your brows – nobody has to know. The last thing you want is unfashionable eyebrows. Crazy eyebrows = crazy person. Trust me.
[Reply]
Debra, you have to use the room for split-tails so it doesn’t bother me in the least. Maybe it’s a mental thing? You read, you shit. You go into a reading warehouse, you have to shit. Work on it, maybe. But again, I don’t care as long as you’re a split-tail. Yall shit and bleed and have babies in there. It’s an important room for females, and I think that’s fine. HAHAHA. Oh God.
[Reply]
Aren’t all crappers two-pieces, so to speak? A one-piece would be a urinal.
[Reply]
McDonald’s. Seriously, I should just buy it and throw it directly into the toilet, because it’s gonna end up there about 20 minutes after I eat it, anyway.
Oh, and the drinkin’ shits, most definitely. If I ever get constipated, I just go on a mean bender and the next morning…Viola! Any alcohol will do, BTW.
flamingomom, I got my gallbladder removed when I was 21 and given a whole LIST of things that I shouldn’t eat anymore. I eat them all, with no problem. Why bacon, I wonder?
So, now, even though we don’t know each other’s real names, we know how to make each other shit! I love the internets!
Happy Thursday, Surfers!
[Reply]
Jeff, I think you need a full-on Toto Washlet. Take a gander at http://www.cleanishappy.com/
[Reply]
I still use my windshield shade. I have those visors on my side windows so I can crack them. So with the cracked windows and the windshield shade, the truck’s interior is cooler and doesn’t take long to get the temps to comfortable levels.
It also keeps my dash from fading.
[Reply]
I live in Phoenix, AZ… so i have to use a windshield shade of somekind, as well as leave the windows a little cracked (so as to not have the windshield develop a crack). 110+ days during the summer are killer after your vehicle has been sitting in the sun for over 8 hours. That little shade rally helps out a ton!
[Reply]
I use my windshield shade, too. It makes a difference.
[Reply]
Hey Jeff – How about a smok’n fish windshield shade!!!
Also an environmentally friendly toilet with a #3 for the ladies??? I am always looking for an invention. Any engineers out there? Toilets were probably built by boyz.
[Reply]
Go to Lowe’s, buy a $150 toilet, a wax ring and a crescent wrench.
You can swap out a toilet in less than an hour with no experience. You know the plumber is getting a cut from the supply shop.
Make your father proud!
I use a sunshade all the time in Colorado.
[Reply]
It’s a cheese-rolling AND a wake. Niiiiice. The flyin’ bodies hoopin’ after some prime stank-curdle is high entertainments, eh?
Also nice – combining a cheese-chasing vid with talk of anti-constipators. Only a true master could lead us down that particular rabbit hole. For the record, my cure-all is El Pico coffee done up strong in the dripper. A cupla cups of that hole-borer and it’s ‘honey grab the Oust.’ Sweet satisfaction.
[Reply]
(THIS IS A RE-DO. I farked up my e-mail addy the first time and the commentator-passer doesn’t recognize me)
It’s a cheese-rolling AND a wake. Niiiiice. The flyin’ bodies hoopin’ after some prime stank-curdle is high entertainments, eh?
Also nice – combining a cheese-chasing vid with talk of anti-constipators. Only a true master could lead us down that particular rabbit hole. For the record, my cure-all is El Pico coffee done up strong in the dripper. A cupla cups of that hole-borer and it’s ‘honey grab the Oust.’ Sweet satisfaction.
[Reply]
What a beautifully disjointed mess. That update right there was like ol’ school surf reporting. You’re killing me with that Ticonderoga business.
[Reply]
Chocolate milk can really make my morning glories blossom. On hunting trips, we get up early and go to the diner before heading out. I always order it and then do the quick step back to the room. That way i don’t have to be like a bear and shit in the woods. Works every time.
[Reply]
@ CitizenX…thinking that before I read your post. LOL
Al Bundy liked the Ferguson.
“Not just a toilet… a FERGUSON. The King of bowls!”
“bah-WOOSH!”
I don’t know how much they cost.
espresso = express-o…to “the little room”
[Reply]
anything from applebees. under 10 minutes and i am in bad shape.
also, dead bay birds…if you recall my japan incident from a few years back.
[Reply]
Having read all the comments and agreeing with many I have one thing that has been left out….
We had some left over Fiber One bars in the house a few weeks back and I was going to be late for a meeting. I picked one up and nearly tossed it across the room was so light, so I dug back in for another.
Later that morning, shortly after the meeting began I had one of the bars. Not bad, but still hungry. Being that it was a two hour meeting I decided to pace myself. About an hour later I decide to have the other Fiber One. Within about 10 minutes my stomach started making these sounds that resembled some cut rate action movie sound effect with the damn about to break. After 5 minutes of gurgling rampage, I darted from the conference room and headed for the “private” room. About 5 seconds into the stall there was an explosion that even the guy next to me laughed “holy cow.” By the time I was comfortable walking out my meeting was over by about 10 minutes.
Rule of Thumb: Never have 2 Fiber One bars within a short amount of time, otherwise your 25 year streak will come to an explosive end.
[Reply]
tom in cola… thought the same thing but you must have the Euopean release because my LP cover (circa…what, 68, 69, 70…just guessing when I bought mine) is different.. Yellow background and a drawing similar to what you’re seeing there. You actually have that cover?
fattie 20…..outhouse haiku
alone in the dark
I look out through the carved moon.
I’m done when I’m done.
[Reply]
I am so Lisa Simpson…..
[Reply]
Thanks to my medication EVERYTHING makes me squirt! (Yes…squirt now…)
I swear I’ve lost five pounds in the last month…not even shitting you…heh heh
And the eyebrow thing?
Did someone tell you I accidentally shaved off one of my eyebrows almost completely?
Yep…on my first day back on the job too.
I looked cynical for a week and then it progressed to slightly amused.
It was the language of the eyebrows.
I’ve decided that I need to go get them waxed so I stop making myself look stupid.
I don’t need anymore help with that.
[Reply]
Leanne, on May 28th, 2009 at 6:19 pm Said:
Hey Jeff – How about a smok’n fish windshield shade!!!
… that made me smile.
Great idea. We can
BRING THEM BACK
[Reply]
On vacation last year driving down the coast with my brother in law & his two little girls 6 & 8, we take them down to the pier: candy apples & coke get back to the truck the 6 year old: “I gotta go I gotta go” no one around so 8 year old & I climb in the truck while dad supervises a little pee time at the rear of the vehicle, “Oh my God! ” suddenly yells dad at the top of his lungs as he jumps in the back seat with my neice under his arm GO! GO! GO! I peel out of the parking lot totally confused at the mayhem, until in the rear view mirror I spy a steaming pile that would have made Mike Tyson proud!
[Reply]
Look into a toilet called Toto. Never again will you worry about carpet swamps.
[Reply]
1) Ladies, tampons are not supposed to be flushed. All they do is clog sewer lines. Guys, same thing goes for condoms.
2) Your plumber is getting a cut on that $500 toilet. Don’t be a sucker.
3) Biff is right. My brother (who can’t change a light bulb without causing a major problem) switched his toilet out in 3 hours. It takes normal people about an hour.
4) I got this one. http://products.jacuzzi.com/nd/viewone_07.d2w/description?SCIN=T&SGIN=PERFECTA#
It is chair high. Awesome.
[Reply]
Fettucine Alfredo is a no eat, no-time, no-where for me. Also anything with full fat dairy in it.
Mr. kenju gets his eyebrows trimmed all the time, either by me or the barber. Otherwise he looks like John L. Lewis in the 40′s. Any WV’ians remember him?
[Reply]
Sauerkraut. 10 minutes, and looks unchanged. Must have an E-Z Pass.
[Reply]
The question for me is “what doesn’t get my bowels in an uproar?”
As for toilets….I have 3 Kohlers in the house — one Cimarron (a 2 piece) and two Highlines — and frankly, I’m partial to the Highline. Never had any clogs whatsoever, but the Cimarron occasionally requires the use of a toilet brush, whereas the Highline does not. They were purchased at Home Depot or Lowe’s and cost around $250 each. I recommend the comfort height. (I’m tall and don’t like to feel like I’m squatting on the floor while I’m doing my business, but my brother argues that the squatting factor gives him more leverage.) Also, the elongated bowl allows for better wiping access. Much more comfortable if you plan to be indisposed for a longer period of time.
I replaced all the toilets in my house myself, and I’m a girl no less. Once you can get past the psychological aspect of ripping out the old, dirty, nasty one that has been crapped in for eons, everything else is a piece of cake.
[Reply]
An engineer at my office is from some country that practices voodoo and eats fire. Every once in a while, he brings me the most awesome hot sauce he makes himself. Makes an extra pint container just for me, since I rave about it. Hottest I have ever eaten. Also, best tasting (sometimes the heat overpowers the taste in commercial hot sauces). However, it also makes a fine laxative. Within a half hour, my pipes are clean. Everything else just sits in my gut like a cinderblock.
[Reply]
These topics make life worth living for!
[Reply]
I suffer from a disorder my children lovingly call Japanese Food Syndrome (or JFS). Any time we eat at a Japanese restaurant, I might as well have them pull a toilet up to the tepan table.
Also, boxed au gratin potatoes. No clue why.
[Reply]
@ Funky……..Thanks for the early morning howl. Priceless…AND with a moral to the story! This site has an endless learning curve.
[Reply]
No food, but bookstores and libraries do it to me every time. In fact, I just found this thread http://ask.metafilter.com/19556/Bookstores-the-natural-laxative filled with fellow library evacuators.
Please help us solve this mystery.
[Reply]
I’m as regular as a clock–if a clock crapped four times a day. Great googly moogly I hope and pray to Daffy Duck that I enjoy this regularity for the rest of my life.
[Reply]
A friend was redoing his bathroom and got advice from a contractor as well, who turned him on to the Toto line of shit-catchers. I was skeptical, having never heard of them, but he came on like a jesus freak about them.
I mounted his Toto after a hefty session at Baja Burrito and became a convert. WOW.
When the toilet in our back bathroom (the best throne room in the house) — the previous owner had installed one of these jobbies with some sort of air compressor in the tank that rockets the shit down the tube — started giving up the ghost I did the due diligence on the Toto.
There’s some videos out there of some dudes in white lab coats loading the things up with big bratwurst looking balloons of simulated turd. They couldn’t clog the bastards with anything available to science. Quite impressive.
Anyway, the best thing is that these things cost $200-$300 instead of $500.
Since we upgraded a couple years ago we’ve been unable to even get a gag out of the thing, much less a choke. And I’ve personally created some scale models of Mt. Fuji down in that little terrarium.
The seat’s comfy. A great reading room, whether you prefer to hunch it down or sit like a cubicle gopher.
Enjoy
[Reply]
I just bought the Desert Thunder model toilet with the optional auto-dispensing moon-floss dispenser and foot massage. Works great!
[Reply]
LMFAO @ mountie9wv’s comment ! E-Z Pass…..CLASSIC !
[Reply]
This collection of comments deserves a place in the Hall of Fame, if only for the nod to EZ Pass…
I bought a condo recently that came with 3 Toto toilets. Awesome and quite uncloggable, even with my 13 year old son’s best efforts, which are Herculean.
And yes, Jeff, a toilet changeout is easy and fast. It looks as though the folks here could talk you through it if there were any problems.
Interesting that this topic came up – I was at my son’s middle school last night and had to take my younger boy to use the facilities. The floor of the “boys” room was flooded by the standups, so we had to use one of the 3 stalls. The bowl in stall #1 was full of piss and TP, the bowl in stall #2 (ha ha) had a triple-size Lincoln Log in it with NO TP – that poop looked like something otherworldly and scary – it was literally sticking up on its end out of the bowl, daring you to come near it. We finally got a reasonably clean place to pee in Stall #3. What a freakin’ nightmare.
[Reply]
your plumber doesnt get a cut of lowes…thats why he thinks they suck. Go there and buy a throne and install it yourself. A real man would.
[Reply]
@Rick – my mother has two of those super-sonic rocket crappers, and I contemplated getting one myself until I thought about how there is no surreptitious waste elimination in the middle of the night unless you opt not to flush until the morning. Those things are shockingly loud, but I suppose you might learn to block it out if you have a house full of people and the toilet sees a lot of action.
I love it when my mother fails to warn guests and they come out of the lavatory looking shell-shocked. Once in a while, the flush is accompanied by an audible gasp or a scream louder than the sound of the toilet. Priceless entertainment, but I keep telling my mother she needs to have old people sign a waiver before they go in.
[Reply]
Toto is the way to go. Thing will flush a dozen golf balls. I have the dual flush in the main BA and it’s awesome. Tried to save pennies w/ american standard from HD for basement BA and it is worthless. Will swap American Standard for Toto soon.
If you don’t get the dual flush or the crazy electronic one, the toto isn’t a bad deal.
[Reply]