Our Most Memorable Christmas Presents, and Some Other Things
I didn’t mention it here, for fear of a panic, but the Nancy Christmas Special was almost canceled. The oldest translucent (“Mr. Tophat!!”) had a 102-degree temperature, and it appeared they might not travel. Under normal circumstances I would’ve been muttering, “Come oooon 103…” But this time I want the visit to happen, because it’s been so long. We need fresh stories.
Sunshine and Mumbles are supposed to arrive Thursday evening, and the rest of the gang is scheduled to be here around noon on Christmas Eve. The see-thru apparently tapped into some inner soy reserve, and bounced-back from his typhoid. They’re driving from Atlanta, straight-through, after picking up Toney’s (and Nancy’s) brother at the airport Thursday evening. Crazy, man.
I’m off from work, believe it or not, until Sunday at 3:00 pm. That’s three and a half days in a row, which is unheard of anymore. It’s gonna be great: a chair, a beer permanently attached to my right hand, and a notebook on my knee. I’m looking forward to the downtime, I really am.
I had a job interview at work on Tuesday, and was told within the first two minutes it ain’t gonna happen. I’m not really surprised that I was denied the promotion, but didn’t think I’d find out before my ass cheeks had a chance to settle. I mean, they were still in a semi-rounded state, when the news was delivered. Oh well. I’ve reached a point where nothing can bother me anymore. I’m completely dead inside: coal black.
While I was working last night, I started thinking about the Christmas presents I received as a kid – the ones which REALLY stick out in my mind. We always had great Christmases – all of them were good – but I remember a mailman arriving at our house the afternoon of Christmas day one year, and delivering a complete set of 1971 Topps baseball cards. This was at the height of my baseball card mania, and it blew my mind that they were delivered on the afternoon of Christmas. I mean, how cool is that?
And the set was in absolute mint condition, which is rare. The 1971 Topps cards have a black border, and show flaws easily. It’s very difficult to get your crack-scratchers on a mint set of those babies.
I remember putting them in plastic sheets (nerd condoms), for protection, really dragging it out and enjoying every minute of it. My parents almost always came through with excellent gifts, but that one sticks out in my mind for some reason. It probably had something to do with the fact that my mom and dad weren’t real big supporters of my baseball card fanaticism, and the fact that they made the effort to track down something like that was a big deal.
Also, a few years ago my mother gave me a replica of the original Mattel electronic football game from the ’70s. That was pretty cool, too. I wasn’t a kid when she gave it to me, but it has a kidly connection. It’s in the drawer of my nightstand, and I still break it out every few weeks and play a game or two. It’s an inexplicable blast, moving that flashing dash up and down the field.
What about you? What Christmas gifts stick out in your mind from your childhood, and why? Tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?
And I’ll see you guys on the other side. I hope all of you have a great holiday, and I’ll be back as soon as possible.
Wish me luck!
Filed under: Daily
MR TOPHAT! I can’t wait to see that kid on the news for some sort of murder.
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Bill in WV Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
MERRY CHRISTMAS SURF REPORT NATION !!!!
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I couldn’t agree with CBS more. But the whole bunch does make for grand entertainment. Just had all the Christmas that I’m going to have. Watched the 15 year old granddaughter play in a basketball tournament (came in second, 28-33), dinner with the daughter/son-in-law/grandkids, gave them their presents and we’re done till next year. And this is the closest I’ve evr been to first.
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No question. A 1964 Aurora Slot Car race set. I played with it for years..
jtb
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Carbide Kid Reply:
December 28th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
OMIGOD!! My brother got slot cars about the same time – We played with them for hours on end in the basement of our super suburban house in South Hills, Charleston. What a great toy!!
Growing up in Charleston was a gas in general….
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Woo fourth.
That Mattell football game is available as an IPod app, and I have it. It’s a little difficult to use, but it’s still awesome.
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Jeff gets his “best material” from these family gatherings.
But I’m glad I’m not there in person.
Happy HoliDaze!
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I used to have a Hank Aaron card from when he played for the Milwaukee Braves. What happened to it? You guessed it…Mom. Same with my Pete Rose rookie card. Same with my Johnny Bench special MVP Topps issue. urrrgh.
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Happy birthday to me, with the Translucent saving christmas. As for the best christmas present I can remember vividly, it’s either a huge Star Wars AT-AT walker or the year my parents got me a 12 gauge shotgun and started the yearly tradition of buying us kids weapons for Christmas and birthdays.
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Ian the Errolite Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 7:58 am
I remember wanting that AT-AT so badly.
Never got it.
The best weapon I got for christmas was a Black Widow slingshot,( when they started using surgical tubing and armrests). Great for firing marbles into the stratosphere.
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fattie20xl Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 8:41 am
I always wanted the sand crawler….
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Top Ten?
My mother didn’t have the money at the time, but took out a small loan to buy me my first real guitar (I had owned a couple Sears catalog Harmony brand guitars) in the mid 80s: an honest to jeebus Gibson Explorer. I still have that guitar and will never sell it.
I joke with her about this to this day: at the time, I also really wanted a dirtbike, but she thought they were dangerous so she got me the guitar instead. Which led me down the “musician” path which is just about as dangerous in the long run.
Hope you all have a nice x-mess. I’ll tip at least a few beers in honor of the Surf Report.
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One present that really sticks out in my mind is a handhand electronic basketball game that I was given as a poor alternative to the Atari games console that I asked for. It was really quite a shock for me to see something that I did not want in the slightest. I don’t think I had seen a real basketball game before and had no idea of the concept. The display itself was terrible and it made bleeping noises. I think the instructions were in Korean. Thinking back I’m pretty sure there might have been a tear and a quivering lower lip. Maybe I’d been a bit of a shit that year. I don’t remember, but its a possibility.
Have a great Christmas guys. I’m going to be busy for the next week playing with my kids toys, but I’ll be back in 2011 to be mostly ignored.
xx
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Valentin Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 11:50 am
“Thinking back I’m pretty sure there might have been a tear and a quivering lower lip.” Lol.
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Not Oprah Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Never ignored!!
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Ian the Errolite Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 4:42 am
Thanks for the replies guys.
I’m always unsure if anyone reads my posts, given the time delay and the fact that I’m usually response # 385, or therabouts.
I got in early on this one, and it was worth it!
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Argh, this reminded me that I once got the ’74 Hank Aaron card where they anticipated in advance that he would be breaking the home run record early the following season (i.e., they published it when he was sitting on 713 at the end of the ’73 season). I figured there were PLENTY of those in circulation, so of course I lost it flipping cards with a classmate. Idiot.
Thanks, Jeff…merry frickin’ Christmas.
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I went to see True Grit yesterday. Great movie!
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bikerchick Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 8:25 am
Can’t wait to see that movie! Perfect roll for Jeff Bridges.
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madz1962 Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 9:35 am
I’m a huge Jeff Bridges fan – saw him in person on Jimmy Fallon last Friday. I can’t wait to see this movie.
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 1:52 pm
He seems like a good guy…not a self-possessed douche-bag like so many actors.
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Malcolm Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 9:50 pm
madz – glad to hear you made it to the Jimmy Fallon taping.
We made it to the skate rink on Friday eventually, amongst that crazy crowd. Waited in line from 7 to 8:30 pm, paid $56 (!) for skates and the session, and skated for an hour before wearing out.
It was awesome, though. And a real dream come true for the wife and I – we have been talking about doing that for years…
Also caught Bernadette Peters in A Little Night Music on Broadway – first rate.
It was a good birthday all the way.
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The Evil Twin Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 9:58 am
I usually cringe at the idea of remaking classics, but this one looks like it’ll be an exception. I forgive the Coens nearly any indiscretion, and I’ve really grown to love Jeff Bridges as the classic actor he’s become. Nonetheless, it’ll be a delay in seeing it, since I now wait for everything to hit DVD…
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airandee Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 10:36 am
I watched the original last night and plan to watch the new version next week. It received 4 stars in the local paper (which usually deters me).
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My parents made sure, no matter what, that we all had a memorable Christmas. My mother spent almost an entire morning just setting the table for Christmas dinner at 6PM. She cooked and decorated everything down to the smallest detail. I miss those days.
The most memorable gift wasn’t even for me, it was for my sister. They gave her a portable record player complete with the fold-over clasps to secure the lid and the little plastic yellow adapters for 45″s. The “go-with” gift was a Best Of Elvis album. She played that album all day trying to teach me how to Jitterbug. She danced and sang all over the house all day….because she wanted to show off, as she said, that she was the only one in the family with any rhythm.
Have a great holiday to all my Surf Reporter buds. I will be busy in the kitchen myself all day tomorrow for our annual Christmas Eve party. Fillet stuffed with lobster….mmmmmm!!
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bikerchick Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 10:03 am
MY most memorable gift was a Hot Wheels set…track with loop-di-loop, cars, the works. I was a tru-blu tomboy. God knows what happened to it. My brother would set up his race car track under the tree every year. I always wanted it but he would never give it up. Stingy bastard. I think he still has the orginal set.
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madz1962 Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 10:50 am
My brother took my Holy Communion money to increase his Hot Wheels track. He said I could play with it anytime. Yeah, right. I had a green car i saw for maybe 10 minutes. 40 years later and I can still tear him a new asshole for that deception.
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Shiny Rod Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 11:22 am
But did you learn not to trust no one when it involves money is the question?
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madz1962 Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 11:33 am
They’ll have to pry a buck out of my cold dead hands before I trust anyone! (Hey – that rings of Charlton Heston, doesn’t it?) LOL
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Shiny Rod Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Or was that Rex Ryan talking about his wife’s feet!!! LOL
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Valentin Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 11:51 am
Ok you wanted the tree or the track from your brother? You should have just kicked his ass.
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Gretchen Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 11:53 am
Tomboy here too. Best gift, a Stomper 4×4!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pko_iTP4sQ
What surprises me is that commercial shows a girl in the mix. How very progressive!
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TheMisty Reply:
December 28th, 2010 at 6:44 am
Oh I forgot about Stomper! I’m a tomboy here myself, I loved my Jeep Stomper. And my slot car racing set with Trans Ams. I think my fave Christmas present of years ago was definitely my first Lego set. I was like 6 years old, it was when they first cam out and had the bigger people and basic building pieces. I made lots of ugly multi colored buildings and vehicles.
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My first 10 speed, the Fuji Palisade.
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A ’67 G.T.O. , still have it too!
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I got a festive case of chlamydia once… Picked it up on the 23rd so it was in full bloom for Christmas.
Certainly not my favorite gift but unfortunately the most memorable.
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Happy Festivus, surf reporters!
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First 10-speed also, Schwinn Varsity.
Have a great Christmas Jeff. We are all praying for the ass-hattery to begin!
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Jeff – that’s very endearing and hilarious that your first thoughts were that you would not have a story for us.
Favorite Christmas present was an Ernie puppet ‘kkkkk’. I think my brother had that football game and I believe he took no prisoners if anyone else had it in their possession.
Not to put in a glass half empty thought but had the conversation the other day with a friend about what we really wanted but didn’t get, we both had an Easy bake oven and Operation on our list. She also had lightbright but I think one of my siblings got that and I just wasn’t allowed to play with it, so technically it was in the house but just not accessible.
Happy Holidays Surfers!!!!!
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Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. Everyone kept asking me “Don’t you want a doll?” Fuck no – I wanted AND GOT those robots. A few years ago, Beloved surprised me on my birthday with a new set!
Merry Christmas everyone!
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I had lots of memorable Christmas gifts over the years as a kid – a Major Matt Mason Space Station with an extra set of figures, a G.I. Joe deep-sea diving suit with ATV vehicle and French Resistance Fighter Joe (I know, “French” and “resistance” are contradictory terms, but it was a different era), a .22 rifle (my very first personal firearm, which I cherished), a Captain Action figure with Superman, Aquaman and Lone Ranger outfits, a Mattel Creeple People Thingmaker set, the Mattel Fright Factory Thingmaker set, and too many more to go into. But, my favorite toy of alltime was a 1960s battery-op Taiyo Wheel-A-Gear Robot, which I played with constantly. I traded it to a UK collector a few years back (it was really beat and corroded, but worth keeping to a collector who needed a ‘placeholder” robot in his collection) and he posted it to his website, so I can still go “visit it” anytime I want.
Other than that, one of the coolest Christmas gifts I ever received was a small sheet of blotter acid that a friend gave me one year – I was able to treat many friends to trips in the following months, so it was a “gift that kept on giving,” so to speak…
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Son of Sam Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Mr. Natural?
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The Evil Twin Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 4:35 pm
I remember they were 4-way perfed hits – little flying saucers printed in blue ink. I do remember a lot of the Mr. Natural that was going around at that time (along with the zoso, happy sun, toadstool, etc.) – probably the most intense trip I ever had was some “double-dipped” Mr. Natural that kept me up for about 12 hours. Good times…
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Ed Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Excepting the blotter acid, I had most of those toys. Memories…
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Jeff – the version of the NFL football game that you’re describing was the one with the down/play cards and the plastic pegs, right? I remember having several of the electronic ‘vibrating surface” NFL sets – I think they were made by Eldon or Coleco or one of those toy manufacturers, and they were almost always generic teams molded in white and yellow plastic (with the little felt footballs!) that you had to paint yourself. I used to pore over the Christmas catalogs and dream of getting a set of prepainted Minnesota Vikings figures for my set, and was envious beyond belief when my friend got sets of NY Jets and Miami Dolphins for his setup. Did you know that there are still leagues of electronic football players/collectors out there that are still into these sets? Look it up – it’s pretty cool – they make their own teams and have playoffs and everything…
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I always had good Christmases.
Mattel shootin’ shell rifle that shot plastic bullets
Lincoln Logs – the ‘real’ ones. Back then they were all wood no plastic. I loved those.
An Erector set – metal girders you could bolt together and make all kinds of stuff.
Slot car sets.
My first real bike – put thousands of miles on that.
Amazing what collectors will pay for some of the toys I had. None of mine survived though.
Happy RamaHanuKwanzMas, everyone!!1
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Shiny Rod Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 11:25 am
I once got an erector set but the she said no way jose!
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I saw a little factoid on TV just last night that stated Lincoln Logs were created by Frank Lloyd Wright’s son John(?) – which I thought was interesting.
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Best Christmas gift was a spring loaded rifle BB gun. My Dad still has it at his house and uses it on occassion to scare squirrels from the birdfeeder.
I still remember the look of shock and horror on my Mother’s face when I opened it.
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I remember gettting a Sega Genesis one year with Mortal Kombat 3. My cousins, my brother and I stayed up all night playing it. I also got my first BB gun one year. I almost shot my eye out. Lol, not really but my brother and I thought it would be fun to have a BB gun war. He shot my ear and while it didn’t hurt, it made me think that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.
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I think we should all hoist a glass of the golden elixir to Jeff this holiday season for the true sacrifice he’s making enduring the next few days just for our amusement.
My greatest gift was the Mattel electronic football game that you spoke of. Hours upon hours spent on that thing. West Virginia could finally beat Penn St. 103-0!
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debra Reply:
December 25th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
We live in Ohio and my husband had work to do in PA so we have golden elixers for Christmas yay!
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I remember getting a Juliette stereo system with a turntable, 8-track player and receiver all in a single box, along with some 1970s big-ass speakers. I also got Steve Miller Band’s “Fly Like an Eagle” on 8-track that Christmas morning. Because of this gift, that album is in fact my “Christmas Album” as per your daily question from last week.
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I never get what I keep asking for Christmas. My request for Swirled Peas keeps going unanswered.
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Carl Rappaport never fails to make me smile. God Bless us, everyone.
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At least the sick see thru is justifiable, not just some nostrils vagina bullshit.
Come on soy-power!
So, NC (Or SC) to Chicago and back, then ATL, then Scranton?
I don’t like any family enough to drive 2,000 miles in a few weeks, unless that trip is to somewhere cool.
Just heard on 700WLW
“No deal yet at city hall but two children died in a mobile home fire in northern Ohio”
Way to segue(sp?) douche.
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I was just talking to my boyfriend about this…My dad had a booming construction business back in the mid 90′s and he would spoil my sister and I so bad every year. One year I remember getting up and finding presents covering every inch of the front room floor, stretching all the way to hallway. We had 2 huge bean bag chairs, I got a mountain bike, countless toys…and it didn’t stop there, he brought us in the garage to reveal a brand new trampoline, a beautiful piano for me…It was amazing as a kid.
One toy that really sticks out is a trivia robot I got called a 2XL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJKfpXUUxcY
I played with this thing alllllllll the time….I am SOOOO buying another one!!! This video brought back so many memories…Sniff.
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Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20101223/BIZ01/12260314/1196/NEWS/Yuengling-eyes-Cincinnati-market
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The best gift I ever remember receiving was a Bicycle. It was a Huffy and had a yellow “banana” seat. Banana seats rocked because you could ride a friend on the back with you!! Until your passenger leaned to far over to one side and sent you both toppling over into the street.
I loved the 80′s.
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tina Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 2:43 pm
I agree Best ever!!!!
The Lemon Peeler.
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The Evil Twin Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 4:49 pm
We used to bend our extra high sissy-bars back at an angle so whoever was riding on the back could lean waaay back. I had the Schwinn 5 -speed with the black 8-ball stick shift – it was essentially the Orange Crate model with a different front wheel – the Orange Crate and Cherry Picker (I think it was called – the red one? This was the 70s) had the front wheels that were smaller than the back wheel, with chrome coil shocks on the front, remember those? Wasn’t there a green one called the Apple Crate, or The Candy Apple or something? Mine was just the orange stingray model with the regulat wheels. I found a photo of the exact model on an auction site a while back – I made a screen saver out of it, because it brought back such great memories of staying on my bike all day during the summer days, and all the road-rash that came with the daredevil stunts we tried to pull off since Evel Knievel was one of our big heroes at that time.
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The Evil Twin Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 4:58 pm
This was my bike – down to the tiniest detail:
http://www.raleighronsclassics.com/images/fastback_collectors_corner.jpg
Man, I loved that bike…
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Son of Sam Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 11:10 pm
I had an orange crate. Wish I still had it.
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And cheers to Jeff for the emotional ass-whipping he’s gonna take this week just for us!!
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Off topic but I bet this guy had a fist fight everyday of his childhood and a good bit of young adulthood.
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Not Oprah Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 3:46 pm
When I open the link, I’m just getting a slide show, am I not being patient enough?
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Check his name.
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Not Oprah Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 11:27 am
Gotcha. Heh.
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A cowboy out fit was my first big present. I would just wear the chaps and my cowboy hat. The best was last Christmas though. I got myself a really nice pair of peep toe pumps..
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Short-n-Sweet Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Put it all together and you’d have one helluva night down on Sunset.
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HI. Ive just read this about Spanish nativity scenes and the need to hide a ‘shitting man’ in them.
Honest.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12059969
Here’s a site for caganers or ‘little shitters’, should you require one for next Christmas.
http://www.caganer.com/
Mental.
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Gretchen Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 11:40 pm
Gather ’round the yule log!
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Found a photo of the Lemon Peeler. http://www.flickr.com/photos/17258071@N07/2055698651
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Short-n-Sweet Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 3:23 pm
I LOVE IT!! Mine looked more like this…
http://img1.classistatic.com/cps/po/101203/112r1/22414am_27.jpeg
I miss that bike!!
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bikerchick Reply:
December 23rd, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Mine looked similar to that one but I had a white basket with plastic flowers on the front. AND matching plastic streamer fringe from the ends of the handlebars!
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Short-n-Sweet Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Mine had tassles too!! There was originally a basket, too but my idiot brother ripped it off, along with the flowers, and used it as a fort for his GI Joes.
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I always wanted a banana bike… never had one. Christmas was usually pretty lame at our house, but I liked (and often got) model kits – jet fighters, cars, ships etc. The Revells were the best. A firearm? That would have been so far beyond awesome that I couldn’t even wish for one. It may even have been legal in NYC in the 1960s, I’m not sure.
In other news, a pierogie sighting: check out the google doodle today…
http://www.google.com/ – bottom row, third from the left. Love me some pierogies, mm-hmm.
.
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“The see-thru apparently tapped into some inner soy reserve, and bounced-back from his typhoid.”
nice to see you counting your blessings
[this comment is now in the correct thread]
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Good Morning Surf Reporters….
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Good night surf reporter’s!
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I think I included this poem in a comment last Christmas, and perhaps the previous one as well. It’s just a little sonnet about a businessman who financially ruins another busiinessman, then finds salve for his minor guilt in giving — a little…jtb
.
Karma
Edwin Arlington Robinson
Christmas was in the air and all was well
With him, but for a few confusing flaws
In divers of God’s images. Because
A friend of his would neither buy nor sell,
Was he to answer for the axe that fell?
He pondered; and the reason for it was,
Partly, a slowly freezing Santa Claus
Upon the corner, with his beard and bell.
Acknowledging an improvident surprise,
He magnified a fancy that he wished
The friend whom he had wrecked were here again.
Not sure of that, he found a compromise;
And from the fulness of his heart he fished
A dime for Jesus who had died for men.
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I just watched a video of a Christmas when I was 17. First Christmas my parents were divorced and my dad bought me curtain rods and picture frames. To say he didn’t understand what to get me is an understatement of the century. A crappy Christmas forever saved on the internet. Love it. I made my daughter watch it to show her no matter what she gets at least its not curtain rods.
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Merry Christmas-eve to all, and to all a good morning. I’m off to the mall to get mauled.
.
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In a strongly worded statement, North Korea has issued a stern warning to the global community that it will not tolerate any intrusion into their airspace. The DPRK (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea]) in an earlier statement said that any aircraft, conventional or unconventional, will be shot down without warning and the perpetrator nation will receive a swift and punishing response to their actions. Noting the upcoming exercise planned by the North Pole for later today, Korean officials said…”He can just forget coming here.” The North Pole is on high alert and the thirty seven full-time residents are aware of the situation. The owner of the only business at the North Pole, S. Clause, says he’s not worried and over the years he has heard many accusations and threats. The lead assembly line worker echoed the same sentiments with, “Fuck…Him.” Reindeer wrangler Norf Langerdangles simply said…“North Korea?…tell ‘em I said go fuck yourself.” While conducting my interview via satellite phone, I could hear a well timed test of the 287,000 devices, planned for worldwide delivery, that simulate farts. The mood at the North pole is up-beat and festive…and I quote S. Clause…“in spite of all the assholes out there.”
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Gretchen Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Norf Langerdangles??!!
An elf by the name Langerdangles
Is charged with all reindeer wrangles
His balls always freeze
And jingle in a breeze
And sometimes play Mr. Bojangles.
Thanks, dto, for a hearty laugh. I needed it.
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We got to pick one gift to open early this year. My mother-in-law got me a fleshlight. I’d have to say that’s the best present I’ve gotten so far. She insisted on watching me play with it, so that part was a little weird.
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Uncle_Wedgie Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
Greatest invention since 1999. Are the “guests” the yet Jeff?
Happy Holidays everyone
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Uncle_Wedgie Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
“there”
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Just stopped by CNN and today’s poll asks, “Have you finished your Christmas shopping?” Since the response choices didn’t include, “Fuck you, you dickless webdog, I’m running late here”, I declined to answer.
love,
jtb
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Merry Christmas, Fellow Surfers!
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And a Merry Christmas to you, Knuck!
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 8:31 pm
Merry Christmas, fellow surfers.
Hey, Greg…did you go thru City Park to look at the lighted corporate logos?
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Greg Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 8:50 pm
Yea, what a bunch of crap. I can’t remember the 1st one, but I can remember the WTAP peacock being around for quite a while, now. Nothing says Christmas like commercial advertising. And that donations booth when you drive in. . . . . I don’t think so. Next year, I expect to see one from Sugar’s. That oughtta put you in the Christmas spirit!
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This just in…North Korea has issued a statement to it’s citizens stating that Fa Ling Dung will soon be arriving and will apparently, “Change the way we conduct our daily life.” The North Koreans welcome the news and look forward to living their lives under Dung.
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
You know we could bomb them back to the Stone Age but that would only set them back about a month and a half.
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chill Reply:
December 24th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
North Korea always seemed to me like a petulant five-year-old: I am *too* important! Pay attention to me! Except now the five-year-old has an ArmaLite rifle: fits in a baby carriage, so light a child can carry it.
.
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My post disappeared, so let’s try this again.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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MERRY CHRISTMAS
to all….
jtb
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Stanley and I would like to pass along our best wishes to everyone.
Say hi Stanley…
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dto Reply:
December 25th, 2010 at 3:05 am
HI!
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Merry Christmas Surfers!!!
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Anyone heard from Jeff?
Should we call the police to check on him?
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Good2go Reply:
December 26th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
He had been tweeting, but nothing in the past 24 hours.
http://twitter.com/jeffkay
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I wish he would just check in, we could do with a line or two, no need for a complete report, just a highlight or two.
Merry Christmas everyone!
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WB in OH Reply:
December 25th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
Patience grasshopper!
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WB in OH Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 8:39 am
Sorry eeyoresmama, this was absolutley terrible advice, patience is for the birds!
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I dunno what Scranton’s gonna get, but down here in Philly we’re expecting a foot or so of snow all blizzard-style from this nasty Nor’easter that’s blowing in tomorrow. So just imagine folks, Jeff could be literally trapped in his house with all those lunatics for up to 48 hours! Two words: comedy gold. Just as long as no one takes it upon themselves to reenact certain scenes from The Shining, that is. ;o)
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dto Reply:
December 25th, 2010 at 11:30 pm
I’ve been checking on the weather in that area and thought the same thing Gretchen. Yikes! No planes, trains or automobiles can help him now it seems. I’d put in a call to Norf to see if he’s got an auxillary back up team but he was pretty shitfaced when I did my interview so not much hope there.
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Gretchen Reply:
December 26th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Just like a reindeer wrangling, ball jingling, cranky elf post-Christmas! All up in Santa’s special hooch already. Geeez.
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Son of Sam Reply:
December 26th, 2010 at 8:21 am
becareful out ther Gretchen and all reporters traveling today.
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Gretchen Reply:
December 26th, 2010 at 11:05 am
Thanks Son of Sam. I canceled all my plans and am staying holed up indoors with my folks….which can also be comedy gold, but nowhere near Jeff’s family levels.
Take care everybody!
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Limey Reply:
December 26th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
I’m about ~60 miles south of Camp Kay and it’s starting to snow pretty hard here, and the storm’s heading north. I hope they’ve got plenty of alcohol in
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chill Reply:
December 26th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Down here in Dixieland, I’m maybe 250 miles south of the Kay Family Compound. We are getting jack for snow, just cold and blustery weather plus a few tiny flurries. I was kinda hoping to be “snowed in” for Monday and not have to make the abysmal drive to a client’s site.
.
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The Bunker cam pic (with the squash and the cat) has a Napoleon Dynamitish quality.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas!
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Good2go Reply:
December 26th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
They really need to make a Napolean Dynamite Christmas movie.
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What are you gonna do when the snow is piling up outside and the relatives are piling up inside? Well, if you haven’t listened to Mary Lou Lord in 15 years, that’s tooooooo fucking long. And what the hell? There’s something in a song about Kurt Cobain that brightens up Boxing Day. Crank up the audio….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIQgdGxPexI
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Flash from CNN: Today’s “Quick Vote” question of the day…”Are you surprised by Hugh Hefner’s latest engagement announcement?”
I’m moderately surprised that CNN still claims to be in business.
Hope everybody in the snow zone is keeping warm. Remember: flashlights, batteries, beer and, I suppose, some kind of food.
Stay safe…
jtb
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What is going on in that house? I’m dying here……..
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Short-n-Sweet Reply:
December 26th, 2010 at 7:12 pm
My day has gone lilke this….
1. Click on bookmark for WVSR.
2. Say under my breath “please, please, PLEASE!!!
3. Groan loudly and roll my eyes as soon as I see Hank Aaron looking back at me.
I’ve lost count how many times that’s happened. Ok, maybe I haven’t, but I ain’t admitting nothin’.
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Day three…or is it four?
Jeff is recanting his glee for his three days off and has hefted himself onto the dormancy and into the feacal position and quite possibly sucking his thumb.
Toney’s brother has talked Sunshine into sharing her “antibotics”.
The non-stop cross dressing version of Harry Poofter has the Secrets playing non-stop ‘kill anything that moves’ video games.
Toney has issued a warning that anyone who goes near the beer or bourbon…”GETS IT!!”
N&N have begun setting traps for neighborhood cats having exhausted their tofu supply
Mumbles has begun reciting every line word for word from the movie “The Birdcage” and sings three extra chourses of “We are Family”, at the end of the movie.
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My new hat…(click on the blue dto and that should get you there…maybe…I hope.)
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Gretchen Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 11:31 am
You’re trying to provoke another spontaneous limerick from me, aren’tcha?
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dto Reply:
December 27th, 2010 at 11:41 am
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When I was 12 and my brother was 8 I got him a couple of comic books and crayons, but had the devious plan to package it in ‘the mother of all packages’. I put them in a wooden box I made from scraps of lumber my dad had saved, nailed it together with lots of nails and glue too, used about a roll of duct tape around it and then put it in several larger boxes, each sealed with duct tape to create a huge ‘present’ that I wrapped carefully and put in our room a week before Christmas. He marveled with excitement and wonder at this huge gift his big brother had got him for days before Christmas morning finally came. I wish we had videocameras then, as it took almost a half-hour of cutting, pulling and prying(with a little help from my dad) before he finally pried open the heavily nailed box to reveal the ‘prize’: several coloring books and a box of crayons……..I didn’t mean to make him cry on Christmas, but that’s what ended up happening and I still feel guilty to this day but man, it was funny while it was happening!!!
I think this sadistic streak has carried over to my adulthood as 3 years ago my wife and I played a similiar prank on our daughter where we bought her about 20 presents from the Dollar Store, and carefully wrapped each one with bows and ribbons and put them all under the tree. We did videotape the morning where she opened each one, and tried to look happy at each cheap plastic toy and crappy decoration. After she was done we asked her how she liked her Christmas presents and she said they were “Ok”……..then after a few minutes, we gave her all the real ones, but it made for 15 minutes of footage she will laugh at when she is older I’m sure……or just hate us……..
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