And last week the older of the translucent children went on a field trip with his class, to (get this!) a puberty museum.
OK, maybe it wasn’t billed as a puberty museum, but that’s what it sounds like to me. It was all about changing bodies, and development, and whatnot. Nancy was a chaperone for this wonderful day-out, and told Toney is was completely interactive and fantastic.
One of the exhibits, Nancy reported, was about testicles. I mean, it wouldn’t be much of a puberty museum without a few dedicated testicle displays, right? She said there was a depiction of a naked man there, and kids could push a button and his nuts would light-up. They talked about how they “drop” during development, their reproductive function, etc.
I’m not sure if it was just a standard illumination, or if they were a pair of rotating disco balls. And I don’t know if the music of Moby played whenever the button was mashed, either. Toney didn’t ask enough questions.
There were exhibits showing little kids morphing into mature adults with luxurious 1970s Penthouse bushes. And something that depicted the development of a fetus, ending with a fairly graphic birth sequence.
Nancy said they also touched on “new smells” associated with puberty. I don’t know how this was handled, and need more information. Maybe they sent the kids down a conveyor into the darkened Tunnel of Yeast and Pit Stench. It’s unclear to me.
But can you imagine such a thing? Good god. I would’ve been completely horrified. Oh, I might have had a little fun with the light-up balls, but beyond that… An interactive puberty museum?! It gives me a full-body shiver, just thinking about it. That part of your life is to be survived, not… curated.
Last week’s royal wedding also triggered a crisis at the House of Nancy. She picked up the see-thrus from school on the day before the wedding, and saw little girls wearing paper crowns, or tierras, or whatever. And Nancy flew off the handle.
She called the school and demanded to know how they could possibly reinforce such stereotypical gender roles. Girls dressing up as princesses?? Nancy was still foaming-at-the-mouth angry when she told Toney about it.
That night, she and Nossy called a family meeting (heh), and told the translucents how terrible those paper crowns are, and why. And at this meeting Nancy made a very emotional, heartrending confession to her family. She informed everyone that when she was a teenager she once bought a magazine about (gasp!) wedding dresses, and would flip through it and fantasize about someday having a big, fancy wedding.
I’m sure there was much crying and hugging and statements of support, following this shocking admission. She told the translucents that everyone is misguided at certain points in their lives, but the important thing is to always strive for clarity.
Sheesh. The woman bought a magazine about wedding dresses 30 years ago, and that merits a press conference and Oprah-style festival of emotion?
And I don’t really have a Question for you guys today. If you’d like to comment on the stuff above, that’ll be cool. And if you’d like to guess what displays and exhibits they might have at the museum of puberty, that could be interesting, too. Use the comments link below.
And I’ll be back tomorrow.
Have a great day, boys and girls.