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My Weekends Are Conspiring Against Me!

June 14, 2011 By Jeff 161 Comments

I’ve had better weekends.  The “visitors” arrived on Thursday evening, which I’ll write about elsewhere, and on the very same day… all my websites were hacked.  All of ‘em.  And ain’t that a kick to the luggage?

I started receiving emails on Thursday afternoon, from people saying they were being redirected to a Russian porn site, while trying to access TheWVSR.  I checked it out, and didn’t see a problem.  But the messages continued to pour in, and folks were telling me it only happens when they try to reach the site through a link – like a Google search, or via a post at Facebook or Twitter.

I went to my Twitter page, clicked on a ‘New at TheWVSR’ update, and my computer was instantly thrown into crisis.  All sorts of windows opened, something started downloading, I began frantically clicking Xs, and more shit began opening-up…  Dammit!!

I finally got it all stopped, and ran two system scans:  antivirus and anti-spyware.  The antivirus program found and removed two “critical” and “malicious” files.  Grrrr…

Since this was obviously happening to others, I felt confident I didn’t have a redirect virus on my computer; it wasn’t just limited to me.  I wondered about Mockable, which is housed on the same server.  And that turned out to be a tactical error…  I foolishly did a Google search, and was redirected again – to the same Russian cul-de-sac of pornography and bad times.  Another pair of system scans quarantined six(!) critical and malicious files.

This is all of my websites, I realized.  All five of ’em.  It’s not just a Surf Report problem, it’s apparently a full-blown server hack.  So, I opened a support ticket with my hosting company, and heard nothing.  I’m not the most patient person in the world, and considered calling them.  But experience told me it’s better to just wait it out.  Maybe they were investigating the problem, and fixing it?  Ha! I was so young and naïve back then (on Thursday).

I heard nothing throughout the evening, and emails from readers continued to arrive.  As you can probably imagine, my eyes were bugging out, and I was running my right hand through my hair.  The “visitors” were working their unique brand of magic upstairs, as my entire secret world crumbled around me.

The next morning I had two emails from my host, but they weren’t helpful.  They were blaming it all on a local redirect virus.  I fired off a reply, and knew it would be hours before I heard anything further.

I went back to the Surf Report site, to see if you guys were talking about it in the comments – and it was down!  Completely down.  There was a FATAL ERROR message where the homepage should’ve been!!  What in the log-rollin’ hell??  I had visions of a server farm in Atlanta, engulfed in flames – huge black clouds rising at a 45-degree angle.

At that point I flipped out a little, and began peppering my hosting company with frantic emails.  I also sent a message to a guy in Canada who has helped me with website problems in the past.  He knows his stuff, but I try not to bother him with every little thing.  This one qualified, though.

The hosting company began regenerating a back-up from the previous day, which took care of the FATAL ERROR problem.  But they still insinuated that the redirect problem wasn’t their issue.  I wanted to rant and rave about all this, but had to keep it bottled-up.  You know, because of Nancy and the gang…  And do you know how frustrating it is to hold back a powerful, white-hot rant?

My Canadian friend went into the Surf Report files, and located a hunk of foreign redirect code, and shitcanned it.  He told me it was definitely malicious, but could only guess how it might have been injected into my world.  This is the second time something like this has happened, during the past year or so.  Are those servers secure enough?  It’s a damn good question.

The next morning he went into Mockable, FurtherEvidence, CrossroadsRoad, and Suggestaholic, and removed the exact same cancer cells.  Five different sites, with five different username/password combos… all with the exact same hack.  Bastards!

You guys don’t need to know every tiny detail of this fiasco, I don’t want to become like Lenny Bruce during the last few months when he just went on stage and read transcripts from his court appearances.  But the sites were completely cleaned up – with minimal help from my host, I might add – and the next morning it RETURNED!  Someone or something got into the code again, between 3 and 4 a.m., and replaced the crap that was removed.

And the top of my head nearly opened-up, like one of those flip-top trash cans with a foot pedal.

By this time Google had had enough, and listed Mockable as an “attack site.”  It’s completely blocked in Firefox, IE, and other browsers. I’m going to have to jump through twenty burning hoops to get them to reconsider the classification.  Adsense is threatening to close my account, because they think I’m peddling commie porn and computer viruses.  It’s a freaking mess!

My Canadian friend removed the redirect code again, and so far, so good.  I held my breath when I got up this morning, and checked all five sites.  Everything looks OK.  But it wouldn’t surprise me if it returns.

I haven’t been able to think straight during this whole ordeal.  An entire weekend lost…  And it’s still not resolved; I’ve got plenty of leftover problems remaining.  And Mockable is at the top of the list.

I’m going to work my normal schedule this week, then Nancy and her brood will return (like bad code) on Wednesday evening.  We’re going to Knoebels on Thursday — which will be interesting — and I’m going to work overtime on Friday and Saturday nights.  So, you see, my whole life is upside-down.  I’m working for the weekend, but the weekends are conspiring against me.

What are your current complaints?  Since I’m a-bitching, it only seems right that you guys should be encouraged to do it too.  Use the comments section to let it all out… Tell us about the stuff that’s pissing you off on this gloomy Tuesday.

And I’ll try not to be quite so… Gothic tomorrow.

See you guys then.

Now playing in the bunker
Crossroads Road for your Nook: just $2.99!

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. JCIII says

    June 14, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    Good Afternoon Surf Reporters….

    Reply
  2. -- Stgve says

    June 14, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Too

    Reply
    • -- Steve says

      June 14, 2011 at 1:00 pm

      “Stgve” sounds Russian – maybe I have a line of Russian porn code inside my keyboard. or fat fingers

      Reply
  3. D in Seattle says

    June 14, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Threeeeee!

    Reply
  4. D in Seattle says

    June 14, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    That sucks about the hack, hope it gets all squared away. Im a little disappointed I didnt get to see any of the commie porn. Im Imagining something from the cold war era.

    Reply
    • Doug says

      June 15, 2011 at 12:29 am

      I’m picturing 70’s era homeplate pubes…

      Reply
  5. WB in OH says

    June 14, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Sorry about the problems. I have no bitch at the moment, but it’s likely to change. I’ll be in touch if it does.

    Reply
  6. Chuck in Belpre says

    June 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    How is it that I see young people gainfully employed with tattoos crawling up out of their collars or enough piercings in their faces they look like they fell face first into a display case at a Bass Pro shop and I can’t buy a fucking job?

    And why do employers now require you to fill out a 75 question questionnaire? I just want a simple job, not be an FBI profiler. FUCK!!!

    I have new neighbors who own two dogs and they bark constantly. I don’t mean just once in a while I mean it never stops. Hour after hour.

    thank you for listening.

    Reply
    • -- Steve says

      June 14, 2011 at 1:16 pm

      Bitchy! But while we’re at it, Couldn’t the woman with the 2 year old hear her screeching the entire time they were in Publix? and if you’re going to make a right hand turn into the parking lot, is it too much to ask to put your turn signal on? and is the left hand lane your own private 50mph road? and get off the fucking phone and concentrate on driving your over-sized soccer mom Surburban. and how can you not notice your dog dropping a fun-sized shitlet on my lawn?
      and that’s just this morning……

      Reply
      • Doug says

        June 15, 2011 at 12:30 am

        …but you’re not bitter, right?

        Reply
    • greg t says

      June 16, 2011 at 7:40 am

      Chuck they have this thing now that you can put out on a tree in your yard that when it hears a bog bark it lets outr a high frequency sound that hurts their easts and they stop barking. I have a friend that got one. He was about to sell his house and the barking stopped.

      Reply
  7. JCIII says

    June 14, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    My current bitch is about being at work for 12 fucking hours and nothing is happening. No business, no follow ups, nada.

    There’s only so much internet one can take in a day. I think.

    Reply
  8. hardoxdan says

    June 14, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Jeff, email me if you would like the name and phone number of one of my best buddies who is a professional computer hardware and software expert. He works for a company that monitors servers against attack and intrusion including Conrail, several major banks, the Pentagon, and other shit that I should not know about.

    Luckily, he is a genuinely nice and honest guy because he has the knowledge to bring down any site and they would not know what hit them or where it came from. He could likely fry the Russian’s server by remote control and would probably do it for you just for fun.

    Calling him a hacker is a gross understatement.

    Reply
    • chill says

      June 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

      Thank you for using the H-word with its proper meaning. Far too many people think it means “evil cyber-criminal”.
      .

      Reply
  9. dto says

    June 14, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    I’m checking on how much a bus ticket is to Russia. I’ll go over there and kick the Bastardvite in his olive sized vodka soak balls.Worked for Kennedy with Kruschev. Then agan. Kennedy knew he had a bigger missle. It must suck to be an asshole AND live in Russia. Then again, it did’nt necessarily come from there or did it? I’ll make sure I by a refundable ticket just in case.

    No bitches here. I tried to get a couple to stop by last night but hey…Monday nights are tough.

    Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      June 14, 2011 at 1:28 pm

      No shit they are tough. No women and nothing on TV but hockey. Hockey! A bunch of foreign guys skate in one direction for 10 seconds, run into one another and then skate in the other direction. Where’s women’s beach volleyball when you need it?

      Reply
      • Doug says

        June 15, 2011 at 12:33 am

        Hot chicks on sand playing volleyball would melt their little minds. It’s kinda’ melting mine right now…

        Reply
  10. Bill in WV says

    June 14, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    Well, my Saturday morning began with me climbing an extension ladder with a bucket of brown paint, to paint the trim on the house, and I promptly dumped 3/4 gallon of the shit between the house and bushes. My neighbors heard a wrath of four letter words out of my mouth, which lasted well over a minute. A man’s life, another trip to Lowe’s.

    Reply
  11. AngryWhiteGuy says

    June 14, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    Dateline: Pandora’s Box

    I am pissed because I bought my son airline tickets online to go to Indy in a couple of weeks and return from Louisville a month later. Bad enough I have to drive to the Tampa clusterfuck airpoet for both flights, but the return ticket I bought (Through Southwest Airlines) in which I had the correct date, came back through email confirmation on Monday bringing him back the same fucking day as he is leaving. He could not even get to the Louisville airport in enough time to get on that flight back. So I called them and they acted like it was all my fault, even though I had the initial printout of the order in front of me. The confirmation number matched, but the “email versions” did not match up in the dates. They wanted to charge me $100 extra dollahs to fix it. Inst4ead, I had to go online to fix it. Hopefully, in late July, my GiantWhiteBoy won’t be stranded in Louisville, KY.

    Registered my daughter for the same gifted student school my som goes to, since she tested into it with a 140 IQ. They needed proof of residency. The lease I had was a copy that my motherinlaw had, as we took over the lease when we moved back to Florida and the landlord never made up a new one. So we live in a month to month tenancy. Not good enough, they tell me. The utitlities are also still in MIL name, so we wouldn’t have to pay a deposit when we moved in. So, I have no proof that we live there, although my son has gone to this school for 6 years and about 100 pieces of mail come to us each year from the same school. I told them they could just look in his file, but that was like too much work. Bureaucrats!

    The Rays get their asses handed to them by the Seattle Mariners, followed by the Rays sweeping the talented Los Angeles, Anaheim, Disney, California Angels. Doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense.

    Ten people at my job had an intervention with me Monday, telling me how much they loathe coming in and dealing with me. Nine of them were dudes. Fucking pussies!

    It’s only 93 degrees here, but the “heat index” is something like 110. Too early to be this hot. Buying my stock in Gold Bond now.

    No one told me Father’s Day was coming up this Sunday. I thought it was the following Sunday. Now I have to ignore sending both Dad’s something.

    Anyone familiar with the Casey Anthony trial, or is it just a FLA thing? Why can’t someone just slip into her cell late at night and kill her already? Google that if you don’t know. It’s outrageous.

    At age 45, I discovered who my real dad was. Four years later, I am still trying to catch up with him. Now, I have discovered that I have a 31 year old daughter in WV, who wants nothing to do with me. Life is so fucking weird.

    More pissing me off, but you probably stopped reading about five minutes ago at best.

    Carry on.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      June 14, 2011 at 2:33 pm

      I can’t even watch the highlights of the Casey Anthony trial without going ballsitic. And what’s with the lawyer sitting there comforting the cunt when she broke down in tears? The judge should have stepped in and told her to sit the fuck down.

      Reply
    • kristin says

      June 14, 2011 at 2:59 pm

      Um…wow. I’d be angry too.

      Reply
      • Jason says

        June 14, 2011 at 6:28 pm

        Casey Anthony, if that little cunt wasn’t cute she’d be dead already. The mom has recanted her “the car smells like a damned dead body!” comment from when she called 9/11, as has her father (who was a cop and knew what a dead body smelled like) and they now claim the smell was because of a pizza box that had been in the trunk for 11 days. Right.

        Little slut not only killed her 3 year old by overdosing her with chloroform so she could go out to the clubs, but then she hid the body and lied about it for a month – so she could continue to whore around at the clubs.

        Off with her head, already.

        I read somewhere else that Billy Bob Thorton’s daughter was convicted of killing her one year old. I think that was in Orlando too.

        Reply
        • dto says

          June 14, 2011 at 8:33 pm

          I found a pizza that’s been under my bed for at least three months. Pretty much smelld the same was when they delivered it She’s ruining the whole scene for people who are really good at telling lies. I’ve been following that thing since Nancy Grace first said..”Bombshell” and “Tot Mom”.

          And what happened to the trailer trash and the little girl Haley? That’s kinda faded. I was on that too and pufffff?

          Reply
        • Brittney says

          June 16, 2011 at 8:30 am

          Yeah, I don’t understand how people can be so stupid. She murdered an innocent little girl so she could go slut around, and now they are finding reasons to let her go? What about the little girl? She never gets to grow up or have a life because of this pyscho. Put this bitch away to rot where she belongs.

          Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      June 14, 2011 at 8:32 pm

      AWG…

      I really want you to keep your job. Any way you can mollify the bastards? In any case, nice post…

      jtb

      Reply
    • Doug says

      June 15, 2011 at 12:38 am

      That gargoyle is slacking. Maybe he needs to a little “free-flight” through an airline exec’s window. Of his own accord, of course…

      Reply
  12. Tyrosine says

    June 14, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    There’s times when I enjoy seeing someone hacked, like when Anonymous pulled down the Westborough Baptist Church sites right in front of Fred Phelp’s daughter during a live web interview, or the attacks on the “Church” of Scientology. I even enjoyed seeing Sony, king of invasive DRM code, get royally screwed in the ass by having the Playstation network ripped to shreds.

    On the other hand I have no use for commercial hackers who slip malware and redirect codes into webpages. Perhaps Jeff should alert the Cyber Police and have the culprits backtraced (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VKYYbwyWtQ).

    Reply
    • Valentin says

      June 14, 2011 at 4:48 pm

      Anonymous said they didn’t take down PSN but shame on you for praising it! I couldn’t play online for almost three weeks! It was a living nightmare…..

      Reply
      • Tyrosine says

        June 15, 2011 at 10:10 am

        Xbox Live has been working great. 🙂

        The reason I cheer the hacking of Sony is, among other things, their use of the DRM rootkit on music CDs and games. I don’t support music or software piracy, but I don’t believe that Sony or any other corporation has the right to install software on my computer without my permission simply because i purchased a legal copy of a CD and chose to play it.

        Reply
  13. madz1962 says

    June 14, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    Every year our compnay does a day of volunteer service. There are literally hundreds of different organizations you can choose from so tomorrow I am going to paint some walls in a cat shelter since I love animals (more than most people). Anyway, to the lazy fucks who aren’t volunteering and decided to work from home – FUCK YOU – it is NOT a vacation day. If you choose to “work” – get your lazy asses into the office. These are the kinds of lazy fuckers who wouldn’t move if they were having a epileptic fit.

    The check engine light came on again. I have to figure out what’s worng with the chariot, fix it, then put it on the market. I don’t want to spend the next 8 years worrying about every mechanical problem.

    Oh, there’s more.

    My knee is still the size of a grapefruit. I was given a cortisone shot (this is after the surgery!) and that’s been tampering with my sleep. As in, I only get maybe 2 hours a night. And when I AM sleeping, I am having very vivid, detail oriented dreams. Fucky spooky.

    Reply
    • -- Steve says

      June 14, 2011 at 2:23 pm

      100 Years. My volunteer day is tomorrow and I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing

      Reply
    • Doug says

      June 15, 2011 at 12:40 am

      Check the gas cap.

      Reply
    • dto says

      June 15, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      Hey madz1962…I just read what Doug suggested and he very well may be right. My Dad’s truck kept doing that. Even a bad gas cap gasket will show up as a “check engine” warning. You’ll have to reset the warning light thing…doable…but it might be that simple. I fixed his over the phone with Dodge. My magic wand was working quite well that day.

      Reply
      • Doug says

        June 15, 2011 at 9:54 pm

        I had a Pontiac Grand Am that would show the “Service Engine Soon” light if I didn’t get the gas cap sealed correctly. And if the air filter got just a little dirty it wouldn’t start.

        Reply
        • Short-n-sweet says

          June 16, 2011 at 4:10 pm

          I hafta agree with the gas-cap theory. I had a similar problem with my Ford Explorer.

          My problem wasn’t the actually gas cap, but the piece that goes down into the neck of the gas tank to keep vapors from coming back out (or in, or whatever). On my Explorer it’s made of plastic (isn’t everything?) and it cracked. It didn’t cause a problem at first, but after a while it caused my check engine light to come on. It would come on for a day and then the next day it would be off again. This went on for a few weeks before the light finally stayed on. I had it checked for a code at the local service station and they confirmed that the plastic piece was the culprit. They replaced it and I haven’t had a problem since!

          I was just glad it was a major problem with the engine!

          Good luck!

          Reply
  14. kristin says

    June 14, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    I don’t have much to grumble about…except maybe the fact that my state legislature isn’t doing their damned job, and the government’s gonna shut down, and I’m gonna get laid off. Assholes.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      June 14, 2011 at 3:21 pm

      Government and politics are bad enough, but I live in New York where I’m drowning in the Anthony Weiner scandal.

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        June 14, 2011 at 4:11 pm

        A local radio station here , WDVE, has been having a field day with the Weiner bullshit. They had people call in and email movie titles, substituting one word in the title with “weiner”. Over 2500 submissions. My favorites were: “A Fistfull of Weiner” and “My Big Fat Greek Weiner”.

        Reply
        • madz1962 says

          June 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm

          Oh I wish I heard that on the radio! Let’s see:

          GoodWeiners

          Gone With The Weiner

          The Weiner of Oz

          And that Beatles Classic: Yellow Submaweiner

          Reply
          • dto says

            June 14, 2011 at 6:15 pm

            Snow White and the Seven Weiners.

            Reply
        • Root 66 says

          June 14, 2011 at 5:04 pm

          This could be fun:

          Raiders of the Lost Weiner

          Attack of the 50 Foot Weiner

          Blazing Weiner

          Bride of Frankenweiner

          Reply
          • chill says

            June 14, 2011 at 5:19 pm

            Weiner II: The Nightmare Continues
            .

            Reply
            • doctorright says

              June 14, 2011 at 7:50 pm

              Weiner: First Blood Part II
              Weiner II: Electric Boogaloo
              Jaws: The Weiner
              A Beautiful Weiner
              Weiner: The Bruce Lee Story
              Jo Jo Dancer Your Weiner is Calling
              The Lion Weiner
              I’m Gonna Get You Weina
              Eight Weiners Out

              and of course
              Citizen Weiner

              Reply
        • Uncle Buzz in Wheeling says

          June 15, 2011 at 12:42 am

          I’ve been listening to WDVE since the early 70’s! I’ve gotta say, I really miss Marcie Posner – the greatest female radio voice in the known universe – ever!

          And Little Jimmy Roach. Good times.

          Reply
      • kristin says

        June 14, 2011 at 5:50 pm

        I still check the Daily News everyday (I just can’t help myself), and I just about lost it after the first headline came out: “Member of Congress”.

        Reply
        • chill says

          June 14, 2011 at 6:32 pm

          A-huh-huh-huh. Member.
          .

          Reply
          • Phantom Railfan says

            June 14, 2011 at 7:54 pm

            “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Weiner.”
            “A Weiner Is Born.”
            “The Weiners of Wrath.”
            “All the President’s Weiners.”

            Reply
            • bikerchick says

              June 14, 2011 at 8:16 pm

              Weiner vs. Weiner
              Steel Weiner’s
              Urban Weiner
              Clash of the Weiner’s
              Any Which Way You Weiner
              Look Who’s Weiner
              Rear Weiner

              Reply
            • lori in cbus says

              June 14, 2011 at 8:25 pm

              “American Weiner”

              “A Hard Day’s Weiner”

              “Every Which Way but Weiner”

              “Superweiner”

              Reply
    • Doug says

      June 15, 2011 at 12:42 am

      Run for office yourself. If you get elected, then you don’t have to do shit.

      Reply
      • t-storm says

        June 15, 2011 at 5:05 pm

        Weiner Dawn

        Dog Wiener Afternoon

        Pecker

        Reply
  15. uncle_wedgie says

    June 14, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    Our local store ran out of Salsa Sause

    Reply
    • Doug says

      June 15, 2011 at 12:44 am

      Taco Bell has a large supply of Fire Sauce, free for the taking. Anything else is,well, lame. Unless it jalopeno cheese – oh yeah.

      Reply
      • AngryWhiteGuy says

        June 15, 2011 at 7:32 am

        Oh yeah, that is another thing pissing me off. All of the Taco Bell’s here decided, as a way to save pennies, to put the fire sauce (as well as the other sauces) behind the counter so you have to ask for them instead of taking handfuls and wasting them.

        I need at least 10 fire sauces per burrito.

        Reply
      • icecycle66 says

        June 15, 2011 at 5:24 pm

        Hey, hey, hey may cracker friend the Taco Bell Green Chili Sauce is where it is at. That shit is the bomb yo.

        Reply
  16. Tammie says

    June 14, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    My secret is a dumbass.

    First he shot out my neighbors window with a BB gun. That was bad enough (and expensive enough) but then after a lecture and punishment, he steals ALL OF MY BEER AND DRINKS IT WITH HIS FRIENDS RIGHT ON MY FRONT PORCH! We were asleep right upstairs.

    I was pretty pissed….

    Can teenagers really enjoy a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale???

    As if those two brain farts weren’t enough, we caught him smoking the next day!

    It’s like his brain fell out! Maybe it just slid down his spine to rest in his scrotum? The kid is either retarded or he’s got some big ass balls!

    We jerked the freedom right out of him.

    Reply
    • WB in OH says

      June 14, 2011 at 11:42 pm

      I used to “borrow” a handful of Hamm’s out of Pop’s case occasionally, but certainly no more than he would miss. I definitely didn’t loiter on the front porch drinking them. Smoking was done discreetly from a safe distance as well, when Mom questioned why I smelled like smoke? Oh, my buddy was smoking. Your son needs to work on his lying and deception if he hopes to have any chance in this dog eat dog world. 😉

      Reply
      • AngryWhiteGuy says

        June 15, 2011 at 7:43 am

        Hamm’s!!!! Holy shit, I forgot about Hamm’s, which was a prevalent part of my drinking career.

        Used to go to “bring a case” parties and when I showed up with Hamm’s, everyone looked at me like I was bringing 12 oz cans of paint thinner. Didn’t stop them from drinking it though.

        Many weekend nights from midnight to 6 am drinking a case of Hamm’s. Thanks for the nostalgia WB. Do they still make it? I have never seen it in a store down here.

        Reply
        • -- Steve says

          June 15, 2011 at 7:49 am

          http://www.hammsclub.com/Hamms-Finder.htm

          Reply
    • Doug says

      June 15, 2011 at 12:45 am

      Oddly enough, I think you are rather proud of the boy.

      Reply
  17. bikerchick says

    June 14, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    Bad day? Let’s see…..my bank cashed a check post- dated for Friday. Overdrew my fucking account. So that cost an extra 35 bucks. The last time I tried to cash a post-dated check, it was turned down. Fucking sack lickers.

    My computer at work had a redirect virus. Had to dump everything. Funny thing is is that I told our IT guy and he chose to ignore it and did nothing. It just got worse. The best part…when he installed our new software onto our PC’s, he forgot to reload the virus protection software on mine.

    Reply
    • Alice in WV says

      June 14, 2011 at 6:12 pm

      had the check thing happen to me. both the bank that deposited it in the first place and My bank from which the check was written both said post-dates don’t mean shit. If I can’t pay my bill online, then they need to respect the DATE! I mail it in time to get there and NOT be late, but, dammit, I have to wait for payday most times.

      Reply
      • chill says

        June 14, 2011 at 6:35 pm

        I’d be surprised if they even looked at the signature, much less the date. My guess is that the only thing they look at is the account number and the amount. Being ignorant in these matters, I feel free to engage in wild speculation, to include thinking the worst of banks. Especially those whose names rhyme with “Capital One”.
        .

        Reply
      • bikerchick says

        June 14, 2011 at 8:28 pm

        I have a HUGE issue with the whole “online bill payment” bullshit. What is the point of it if you can’t preschedule payments? If I schedule a payment now, it comes out in two days. But I can’t preschedule a payment to come out Friday…payday. So if I’m going to be out of town I have to write a check and send it out before hand. Thought that was the whole reason for the online payments….no more paper.

        Reply
        • sunshine_in_va says

          June 15, 2011 at 12:27 pm

          You can pick the date a bill is paid with Bank of America. My Princess got me to switch to that bank and start paying bills on-line. Works. Unfucked my check balancing disasters of the past.

          Reply
    • BO says

      June 15, 2011 at 10:48 am

      Unless you notified the bank about the post dated check and you not wanting them to honor it until that tine, it isn’t their responsibility. I worked at a bank and we wouldn’t evvn accept post-dated checks for legal reasons.

      Reply
  18. sunshine_in_va says

    June 14, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    Jeff’s problems are but a microcosm of the modern world we live in. If they wanted to, some of these clowns could bring the whole house of cards down with a few keystrokes or a few lines of code. And one day they’ll do it too. Just for the “lulz”.

    Reply
    • Doug says

      June 15, 2011 at 12:48 am

      Until they can launch some IBMs it’s all just fun and games…

      Reply
  19. chill says

    June 14, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    Wow, I got nothing compared to youse guys. But tomorrow morning at the crack of stupid I’ll be on a plane to Florida, so maybe then I’ll have something to bitch about.

    Jeff, I feel bad about the site being invaded. I see that your hosting company is running some sort of Linux, so at least it’s potentially *possible* for it to be secured. I hope they can get it straightened out.
    .

    Reply
    • alienjeff says

      June 14, 2011 at 5:49 pm

      “the crack of stupid”? What does Nancy Pelosi’s vagina have to do with this?

      Reply
      • chill says

        June 14, 2011 at 6:38 pm

        No more and no less than Sarah Palin’s.

        Don’t get me wrong; both of these women are loathsome creatures, but for different reasons. Per Jeff’s request, I will say no more in a (quasi-)political vein.
        .

        Reply
        • WB in OH says

          June 15, 2011 at 12:04 am

          I’m as conservative as the next NRA card carrying redneck, but Sarah Palin can take her stupid crack back to Alaska and use it to bait brown bear for the local hunting lodge.

          Reply
    • AngryWhiteGuy says

      June 15, 2011 at 7:47 am

      Yes, when you get off the plane and your lungs collapse from the “heated oxygen” down here right now, you will have something to bitch about.

      Reply
  20. Alice in WV says

    June 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    here’s my bitch – my business is sloooow right now. I’ve had three leads, what I thought were solid, but nothing has panned out yet. Things are tough all over.

    I’m getting my baby-maker removed next week. (TMI? too bad.) My surgeon was killed over the weekend so I met the new guy today. I thought it would be better than meeting him the morning of the surgery.

    Fortunately, the weather has been unseasonably cool these past few days. So that’s a plus. and I still have Xanex – another plus.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      June 14, 2011 at 8:41 pm

      Alice…

      Your surgeon was KILLED over the weekend?

      jtb

      Reply
    • bikerchick says

      June 14, 2011 at 8:49 pm

      Holy Cripe’s, Alice!! Your surgeon was just killed? That’s horrible. I hope all goes well for you and your back on your feet again soon. Let us know how you’re doing when you can.

      Business has been slow for me too. Hopefully, it’s temporary. Once people get into the swing of summer, shopping will pick up…I hope.

      Xanax = Godsend

      Reply
      • Alice in WV says

        June 15, 2011 at 4:47 pm

        I found out that she either fell or jumped from the 27th floor of a bldg in Austin.

        Reply
  21. Alice in WV says

    June 14, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    Sorry, Jeff, about the site problems and I hate to mention this, but my Identity Safe thing pops up whenever I try to comment and says “this site is unsafe and is a security threat….” maybe it’s just a little something lingering from your past problems, like a cold sore.

    Reply
  22. icecycle66 says

    June 14, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Leaving work today I could see four wild fires all around my city.

    The Monument Fire is about 6 miles to the south. I still have to go to work t’maruh. That’s crap.

    Reply
    • chill says

      June 14, 2011 at 8:25 pm

      Crap indeed. I don’t want to live in a place where fires have names. Be careful out there.
      .

      Reply
  23. Jeff says

    June 14, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Honey, I Shrunk the Weiner
    A Weiner Too Far
    A Hard Day’s Weiner

    Reply
  24. chill says

    June 14, 2011 at 8:24 pm

    Weiner Wanka and the Chocolate Factory
    O Weiner, Where Art Thou?

    And a bit of a stretch: “Dirty Hairy”
    .

    Reply
  25. Jeff says

    June 14, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    A Weiner Called Wanda
    The Thin Blue Weiner
    Romancing the Weiner
    Weiner Impossible
    A Coal Miner’s Weiner
    Dead Weiner Society
    My Left Weiner
    Field of Weiners

    Reply
    • doctorright says

      June 14, 2011 at 8:58 pm

      Just saw “Abott and Costello Meet the Weiner.” It was funny but other than A & C the acting was wooden.

      Twas better than “Throw Momma from the Weiner,” though.

      Reply
  26. Taiwan On says

    June 14, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    Back in the US of A on home leave and the high temperature today (June friggin 12th) was 56 degrees F. Global warming my ass. I got your global warming right here….

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      June 15, 2011 at 8:09 am

      I feel your pain! 42F in Nome right now, and I think I’ll divorce my wife and marry the portapble heater by my desk that I am hugging!

      Reply
  27. Jeff says

    June 14, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    Weiner Weiner Bang Bang

    Reply
    • BoMama says

      June 15, 2011 at 9:02 pm

      That’s my favorite.

      Reply
  28. Jeff says

    June 14, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    Edward Weinerhands
    Godzilla vs. The Weiner Monster

    Reply
  29. Chuck in Belpre says

    June 14, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    The Weiner Pool
    The Good, The Bad and The Weiner
    Starsky and Weiner
    There’s Something about Weiner

    Reply
    • doctorright says

      June 14, 2011 at 9:13 pm

      Fast Weiners at Ridgemont High

      Reply
  30. dto says

    June 14, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    Ghostweiners
    The Holy Weiner

    Reply
  31. -- Steve says

    June 14, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Willy, Weiner and the Chocolate Factory

    Reply
  32. doctorright says

    June 14, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    Avoid “Brokeback Weiner.” It was long and uncomfortable for me. My ex-girlfriend screwed me into seeing it. It blows.
    I had her deported.

    Reply
  33. dto says

    June 14, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    Lonesome Weiner

    Reply
  34. Juancho says

    June 14, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    Great question, glad you asked. I dropped my glasses without noticing and ran them over with the car.

    Have a nice day?

    Reply
  35. Jason says

    June 14, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    The Texas Weinersaw Massacre
    101 Weinermations
    20,000 Weiners Under the Sea
    The Adventures of Huckleberry Weiner
    Alice in Weinerland
    The Weinershank Redemption
    Weiner Harry Met Sally

    What’s been burning my ass recently is my mortgage company. I changed home owner’s insurance companies and went from paying $2,400 a year to $700 a year. I asked them to change what they charge me to put in escrow each month (to pay my taxes and insurance) to reflect what my new insurance cost will be.

    Bitch said it couldn’t be done. I know better. I’ve been in real estate since I don’t know when. Now I’ll have to continue making a higher payment, and they’ll have to cut me a check for the difference – but not until next Feb. Cocksuckers.

    Reply
  36. Juancho says

    June 14, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    Oh, and The Big Wienerbowski?

    Reply
  37. Chuck in Belpre says

    June 14, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    The Lion, The Witch and the Weiner
    A Clockwork Weiner

    Reply
  38. Chuck in Belpre says

    June 14, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    30 Weiners Over Tokyo

    Reply
  39. johnthebasket says

    June 14, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Ordinary Weiners
    Weiners on a Plane
    Weiner Fight at the OK Corral
    One Flew Over the Weiner’s Nest
    Weiners of Fire
    Weiners of Endearment
    The Silence of the Weiner
    Schindler’s Weiner
    A Beautiful Weiner
    Lord of the Weiners
    No Country for Old Weiners
    The Hurt Weiner

    Reply
  40. Jera says

    June 14, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    My biggest bitches right now:

    We got back from a family vacation on Friday. We were with my parents, sisters, their husbands and all our kids. It was okay, but a bit much family togetherness.

    My husband left on Sunday for a work trip. He travels frequently for work. However, this was a very sucky trip. He’s out of the country and it’s over 100 degrees at night there. I’m worried about him, but I know he’ll be fine.

    My mom had brain tumors removed 4 months ago. She had breast cancer 2 years ago. It came back in her brain, lung and lymph nodes. Chemo is not working on the lung tumor. She found out today she has 2 new lesions on the brain. They have appeared in the last 3 months.

    Stupid cancer.

    Reply
    • doctorright says

      June 14, 2011 at 10:56 pm

      I was in a hurry, and should have read your post before I left mine (below).
      I’m a fuckwad. An awkward one, at that.

      Reply
    • WB in OH says

      June 15, 2011 at 12:10 am

      Jera, I hope your Mom’s doctors figure something out soon. Cancer sucks, indeed.

      Reply
      • clintcurtis says

        June 15, 2011 at 8:03 am

        Jera, your Mom and YOU are in my prayers this morning. I lost my Mom nearly two years ago to this day. Nothing worse than losing a Mom. I have a wife, but seemingly everything important that happens in my life now is nothing if I can’t share it with my Mom. (and I’m in my 50s!!!) I begged off on a phone cal from my Mom, just because I diddn’t want to be bothered on the evening before she died. Not a good thing to live with!

        Hoping and praying for the best, Jera. You Mom knows how much you love her, and you know how much she loves you. Make the most of your time together!

        Reply
  41. doctorright says

    June 14, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    Which do you guys think is the better of the “badass Denzel” flicks, “Training Weiner” or “American Weiner?”
    I’ve always thought he was strong in “Glory.”

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      June 15, 2011 at 8:05 am

      Huh? Glory…I went to see it in 1994…is it over yet? Good movie…but man, it was loooooong!

      Reply
  42. Henderson says

    June 14, 2011 at 11:25 pm

    Weiner….heh, heh, heh……..

    Reply
  43. WB in OH says

    June 14, 2011 at 11:55 pm

    After all weiner comments, this site maybe the number one Google search result for people searching for, well weiner.

    Reply
  44. Seanette says

    June 14, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    My biggest grip is that it’s 9pm, still 83 degrees, and I still need to do a load of laundry. In a laundry room that’s normally at least 20 degrees above outdoor ambient. I do not do heat well.

    Could be worse though: friend of ours lost her job today.

    Reply
  45. Seanette says

    June 15, 2011 at 12:02 am

    BTW, Jeff, sounds like you need a competent hosting company. These bozos currently cleaning your wallet don’t have a clue what they’re doing, sounds like.

    Reply
  46. Big Bear in OH says

    June 15, 2011 at 12:10 am

    After reading the heavy stuff that you guys have to bitch about, I’m happy to have stupid easy problems… I mean, buying a new gun only to discover that it won’t chamber a round unless it’s sitting in the shop in a vise or finding out from the vet that the dog is still faking a leg injury to get extra treats seems very trivial next to job losses, cancer and all the other ridiculously serious shit y’all are dealing with. Damn.

    Reply
  47. WB in OH says

    June 15, 2011 at 12:14 am

    dto, looks like we’re out of luck on seeing jeter make history. Oh well, we’ll make a fine addition to the smoking fish gallery.

    Reply
  48. Doug says

    June 15, 2011 at 12:25 am

    I missed out on Russian mafia virus porn? Damb I’m slacking. Well, that’s what you get in the big time – that’ll learn ya’ about success. Seriously though, thanks for the heads-up, I’ve been stearing away from the sites the last few days, but glad to see all is now well.

    Nothing to see here folks, please move along…

    Reply
    • CADude says

      June 15, 2011 at 3:56 pm

      If you Google “Russian mafia virus porn”, and click on the first listing, you get re-directed to thewvsr.com.

      Reply
  49. Uncle Buzz in Wheeling says

    June 15, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Jeff, if you can get a *confirmed* IP address for these clowns, Spamdot them for a couple of days. Set the polling frequency to 20 (maximum).

    http://spamdot.sourceforge.net/

    An excellent tool to use against any spam or malware site. Make *sure* you have the right address, though.

    ISP’s tend to frown on this, so you may want to use a proxy.

    “I did not say this; I am not here.” (Spacing Guild Third Stage Navigator to the Emperor in ‘Dune’)

    Reply
  50. WB in OH says

    June 15, 2011 at 1:37 am

    I’m going to give the “Weiner Award” to jtb for Weiner Fight at OK Corral, it reminded me of sword fights at the urinal trough in the second grade.*

    *What I think, or my vote is in no way supported by the management!

    Reply
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