I link the two in my mind: soup and cereal. Because they can both be tasty, but are usually a complete waste of time.
Oh, I don’t mind a good bowl of soup as the first of many things to be eaten during a meal. But when it’s supposed to BE the meal? Well… that’s just outrageous. A bowl of hot broth with a quarter cup of “goodies” at the bottom is not a meal. I don’t care how much you pretend it’s so.
And don’t get me started on the “hearty” soups, either. That’s often the justification: well, it’s very hearty. Ha! That just means my stomach will collapse in thirty minutes, instead of twenty. Like a goddamn volleyball with a hole in it.
That goes for chili, too. Chili is just soup taken to the next level. I’d have to have one of these things full of the stuff, to adequately fill the void. And that wouldn’t be good for anyone.
Man, I’m starting to get angry here, just thinking about soup… Talk about arrogant. Wow!
Cereal as breakfast is also a complete scam. Again, it’s OK if it’s incorporated into a long parade of other foods, but by itself? Don’t make me laugh. May as well skip breakfast altogether, like I do.
Toney: Aren’t you hungry?
Me: Yeah.
Toney: Why don’t you have a bowl of cereal?
Me: It’s OK, I took a deep breath a few minutes ago. That’ll hold me longer.
The only time I eat cereal is at 2:30 am, when I get home from work. Usually I’m not really hungry, but feel the need to shovel something into my mouth. And cereal is something, right?
But even though I rarely eat it, I still have strong opinions on the subject. Go figure.
When it comes to cereal, I have to keep it simple. I like Corn Flakes and Rice Krispies, and that kind of thing. I eat the same stuff they were eating in 1926. And I don’t add sugar or anything, it’s just milk and whatever’s in the box.
The only really sweet cereal I like is Cap’n Crunch. (That’s right, Cap’n.) It’s all sugared-up, which usually disgusts me, but for some reason the standard-issue Cap’n Crunch appeals to me. It’s uncomplicated and straightforward, and tastes like nothing else.
Anything that changes the color of the milk is automatically disqualified. Because that grosses me all the way out. And on a related note… When people snorkle-down all the cereal, then drink the leftover milk across the lip of the bowl like it’s a giant glass — that causes my whole body to go rigid.
Even as a kid I only ate Corn Flakes and Rice Krispies and occasionally Cheerios. I remember having Quisp and Quake too, but those were also simple affairs. Everybody else was eating Count Chocula and Frankenberry and Apple Jacks, but not me. That stuff was blecch.
I know this might come as a shock to some of you, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a single bowl of Lucky Charms. Those little marshmallows bother me… I always viewed it as Alpha-Bits with a dusting of multi-colored pencil erasers. Plus, that little heel-clicking Irishman always rubbed me the wrong way, which didn’t help matters…
So, tell me where I’m wrong. Or, to be more precise, tell me where you think I’m wrong (even though I’m completely right). Use the comments link below.
Also, since we’re talking about cereal — which is often considered kid food — tell us what kind of lunchbox you had in grade school.
I had Hot Wheels, which never fully satisfied me. I was always jealous of kids who had cooler lunchboxes, like Land of the Giants and Planet of the Apes. What about you? Tell us about it, won’t you?
And I’ll be back on Wednesday (my Friday!).
See ya then.
@ Garrett, I just remember Koogle by the commercials and I think we were force fed it once in a while. Was it peanutbutter with chocolate? I think it’s similar to that stuff still around my nephew eats it – nutella – except that’s hazelnuts and chocolate.
@Shiny Rod, I can so relate to Tang and hoping your lunch wasn’t packed in a paper grocery bag. Wish I had pictures of those days though woulda been something to put on my fridge.
@garrat: Koogle was awesome! Loved that as a kid.
Whoops, sorry. “Garrett”. My typing skillz have been off today. Too much Koogle as a child. Shoulda said “Hot Wheels” up there earlier too.
Garrett I totally forgot about that stuff! “With the Koo-Koo-Koogalie eyes!”
In NC, “pork BBQ” is redundant. Pulled, stringy pork from a whole pig that’s been cooked about 8 hours in a proper cooker that you need a trailer hitch to tow. Q: Does the pig cooker require a license plate? A: only if there is a pig in it!
Sauce is usually vinegar, sugar, onions, cayenne, salt and peppercorns, maybe some pimento or red bell pepper for color. Takes a while to get used to it, but I now crave it, all the time.
As you travel west and north from the Carolinas, BBQ leans toward sweet, tomato-based sauces and beef over pork. Chicago saw a great migration of both styles, so it is possible there to get truly outstanding babyback ribs with awesome sauces of all varieties.
I was once flipping through an in-flight magazine that ranked the best BBQ places in America – I was tickled to find I live within a 25 mile radius of 3 from the top 11.
Only one cereal existed when I was a kid, Frosted Flakes.
Now, I only like Granola or Raisin Bran, on occasion. But it must have half-n-half milk on it. No pussy skim milk or 2 percent with my cereal.
Brown bagger until third or fourth grade. After that, the county supplied hot lunches for 35 cents or something.
Big soup fan, chili, NE Clam chowder, home made veg. beef, all good stuff.
Gretchen, I would love that Baked Potato Soup recipe. Had it once at a restaurant, and it was mighty good. Please post recipe.
Here’s the lunchbox I had.
http://www.hakes.com/item.asp?AuctionItemID=28093
Holy crap! They want nearly $300 for that puppy.
I am envious of the Bobby Sherman lunch box mentioned earlier. He was dreamy. Swoon.
Half-n-half over cereal? Wow.
I love chili!
Chili & cheese, please.
Beef chili, no healthy substitutes (turkey?) thanks.
I love both hot & cold cereals, but prefer oatmeal or grits.
I agree with Jeff about the Lucky Charms, though.
Dried squashed marshmallow bits shouldn’t be floating in my cereal.
That is all…
My lunch box was adorned with b/w monster movie characters. Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, Dracula, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Phantom of the Opera, Tarantula.
Jeff, here’s a very simple recipe for a soup that will definitely fill you up, because you will probably eat 4 bowls of it. Well, maybe not, but *I* love it.
Taco Soup – http://halfdillo.blogspot.com/2009/02/note-to-self-what-hell-goes-in-taco_25.html
@hardoxdan: I got the recipe from a food blog called bitchincamero.com. The only change I made to it was using russet potatoes instead of creamers and sour cream instead of Greek yogurt (where the eff does one get Greek yogurt?):
http://www.bitchincamero.com/mel/2008/09/loaded-baked-potato-soup/
Doesn’t it look SOOOOO good? I love that we’re now defeating Jeff’s anti-soup manifesto with posted recipes. HA!
Garrett, couldn’t resist taking a poke. I’ve seen enough food TV to know better than get in the middle of 3 guy’s from TX, Kansas City and Noth Carolina when they are discussing (arguing) BBQ. One of these days (perhaps after winning a 100k in the lottery) I plan on taking a month long motorcycle tour of the aformentioned areas and make an educated decision.
Barbacoa sounds pretty awesome.
And finally I’m sorry to say I like my beans inside the chili, and I will call it chili with my yankee head held high!
Koogle sounds like a female exercise!
Love cereal. Raisin Bran, Raisin Bran Crunch, Rice Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Corn Pops, Weetabix, Shredded Wheat, Alpen, Corn Flakes, Raisin Bran Extra, Honey Nut Crunch… there’s normally half a dozen of some of those in the larder at any time. I try to eat a bowl every day. How can anyone not like cereal?!
I remember two lunchboxes, but am sure I had more than that – Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (still love that movie to this day and wish I had the kickass model that had wings that folded out) and then some striped soft bag thing for 8th grade when I didn’t have to carry the thermos of milk. We were rewarded in the 8th grade by being able to buy the half pint of milk (mere pennies back then).
I love cereal and early we were allowed sugar cereals, but then Mom started buying corn flakes by the gross (which she denies although all five of us remember it) along with the store brand plastic bag puffed rice and other such CRAP cereals. Mostly Cheerios (original) for me, although I’ve decided within the past month that Cocoa Krispies are quite a fun snack.
As for soup – it’s food. I love soup, however, I hate chili.
We had Koogle in Michigan, and it came in a variety of flavors…I remember a peanut butter and banana one. It was short-lived, sadly.
Soup becomes a meal when it crosses the line and becomes stew. Homemade pinto beans (a spoonfull…or two…of green chile on top optional) and some cornbread or a good bowl (…or two) of homemade chili and cornbread…MEAL!!!
Haven’t had cereal for over forty years (please don’t do the math….mmmk?) Trix as a kid and then the athletic testosterone kicked in about the fourth grade and I was a Wheaties ‘man’. Now..oatmeal now and then. Usually skip breakfast.
Lunch box…had one of those barn looking/ worker looking kinda box. Black, two latches and held a mid-sized thermos up in the lid. Mom kept sending chicken noodle or vegatable soup in the thing, when even as a kid I knew coffee belonged in a thermos.
I appreciate all forms of well-prepared food. That includes Carolina-style pulled-pork BBQ with the vinegary sauce, Memphis-style BBQ with the rubbed-in seasoning, Texas-style BBQ with that great smokey beef, and all of the variations in-between when they are made with a love of good food. I like chili with beans, chili with beans and meat, Cincinnati-style chili with that slight sweetness (and cinnamon) served over spaghetti with onions and cheese, or Tex-Mex chili with just meat (chili Colorado) and no beans. What’s not to like?
My best friend growing up was not allowed to have sweet cereal so when she came to my house she would grab my Lucky Charms and sit in front of the tv (also not allowed in her house) and eat the marshmallows out of the box. As a wedding gift to me, she gave me a box of Lucky Charms with ONLY the marshmallows!
The only lunch box I recall was an Evil Kneivel. I remember launching it down the hallway before going to lunch recess and always landing right it at my classroom door.
Greek yogurt is regular yogurt that is strained through a cheesecloth bag to drain out the excess water.
Once it’s thickened nicely add fresh dill and finely diced cucumber.
That’s greek yogurt.
Greeks call it tzaziki
I used to love Lucky Charms, and probably still would if not for the lactose intolerance. Never drank the leftover milk/cereal mixture. Cereal is a meal for breakfast, but not lunch or dinner. I gues cereal could also be a snack, as Jeff implies, but when I want a snack, cereal does not come to mind.
Soup is not a meal, it is part of a meal. Chili is a meal. And as can be seen by some of the sur report posters, chili is also a religion.
Brown bag (PB&J) for school lunches.
Jorge you forgot the garlic! Why the hell would annyone forego Bacon,eggs,sausage,hot buttered toast for a bowl of cereal? Soup as a meal? sitting at the end of the dock in Edgartown on a chilly fall day eating new england clam chowder from a styrofoam bowl as the sun went down and truly thinking I had died and gone to Heaven!
Jorge, you forgot the most important ingredient of tzaziki:
Garlic
DTO, That type of lunchbox just reminded me of a kid story. My Dad was in construction and had one of those type lunch boxes. I don’t recall this (I was about 4 or 5) but was told when I would see him come home up the driveway after work I would sing “Here he come’s, Here he come’s – with a lunch box at his bum.” (To the tune of knick knack paddy whack). That was the only entry in my song writing career..
I rarely eat cereal. When I do, it’s simply plain cheerios or Peace (brand) Ginger Hemp cereal. Otherwise, I’m pretty okay with toast or just plain coffee.
Usually just coffee…followed by many bottles of water.
When I was a kid, I had a Holly Hobbie Lunch Box. I switched to paper bags in middle school.
Cereal – Quisp was the simply the best there ever was!
Lunch Box – Speed Buggy. Not the most popular choice, but it’s sturdy construction served me well for years.
@Gretchen:
Irony. Jeff pissin’ and moanin’ about soup, and we are exchanging soup recipes like old hens.
Can’t wait to make that baked potato soup, with extra cheese and lots of bacon. Good low calorie stuff, right there. Already printed out the recipe.
Thanks.
@Jorge: So I can just make my own Greek yogurt. K, thanks for the tip. I thought it was only to be had at a specialty store.
@Hardoxdan: You’re welcome! It’s really good stuff. I also use turkey bacon for extra leanness. But I realize admitting such a thing could get me drawn and quartered in some parts.
Cluck cluck.
Like many others here, I had a metal Peanut’s lunchbox. My Mom was from England and always put butter on our sandwiches…lukewarm bologna with butter and mustard gaaaa. Sometimes I would get the sardines or salmon on toast as someone mentioned. I thought that was a normal thing to eat! I went to Catholic gradeschool no yummy hot lunches for us. I was so envious of the kids who got to go to the dairy luncheonette and eat burgers and fries!
I like Trader Joe’s Honey O’s better than Cheerios Honey Nut O’s. I like Frosted Mini Wheats and Granola, Cap’n Crunch and Peanut Butter Crunch yum, and Honey Bunches of Oats. Cereal makes me ravonous an hour later though…. have to eat meat and eggs for a lasting breakfast.
When I make chili I usually include two pounds of quality ground beef and a two pound steak (Sirloin or Chuck) that I would braise until tender cut up and incorporate into my tomato based chili. The thing that really makes the chili a meal is to put a dollop of lovely mashed potatoes in the side of the bowl along with cheese and raw onions. If you have never tried this I highly recommend it. You would not believe how good the mashed potatoes taste along with the chili. I only use one 13 oz can of beans. That is enough. I make a great Ham corn chowder that will fill you up! Has anyone here ever had Burgoo? It is an awesome stew we had in Kentucky on one of our trips.
I love cereal. I think I could live on it. I usually eat the store brand frosted mini wheats. Sometimes I like Cocoa Pebbles.
I’m not a big fan of soup, but there are some Thai soups that I adore.
I like chili. Growing up, my mom always put beans in it. I’m not sure if it was because we lived in Indiana or because beans were cheaper than meat and made it go further.
I had the coolest “Wild Wild West” lunchbox!……the excitement often dulled because of the bologna sandwiches and carrot sticks my mom packed me….carrots “because they are good for you”…bologna to turn me into the overweight cholesterol laden behemoth that I grew into….thanks mom.
And yea, soup sucks
Oh, and the only lunch box I remember having was Raggedy Ann & Andy.
I mostly ate in the cafeteria because I was on the free lunch list (my mom was a widow with 4 kids….we was po’).
I love chili as a meal (with kidney beans), but regular soup usually requires a sandwich. Bionic Woman lunchbox.
Here’s my luchbox. At least the only one I remember.
http://cgi.ebay.com/1968-Aladdin-DISNEY-SCHOOL-BUS-DOME-LUNCHBOX-Exc_W0QQitemZ400055988803QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item5d2531f243&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A12%7C66%3A2%7C39%3A1%7C72%3A1205%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50
I remember pushing it through the snow as I waited for the bus to come man if I had only known that it would be worth so much!!!!!!
As far as what I got for lunch I remember sandwishes normally bologna, cheese and miracle whip. I still can taste them you know sitting there half a day marinating in that metal box. Everything kinda melted together. I never got anything fancy and would watch as other rich kids as I thought opened their boxes and they would have store bought cakes. My mom would make cakes then cut me a piece cut it in half then put icing side upsidedown on other piece and wrap it in Saran wrap. One girl use to bring mini marathon candy bars and I thought that was fantastic.
I love soup!!!! Tomato with grilled cheese is a must!!! My hubby wont eat it either. I love chili my hubby does as well but he is banned from eating it. Nothing worse than climbing in bed at night espeially in the winter and being unable to escape the mounds of blankets before the gases escape.
Gretchen, yes you can make your own greek yogurt.
But for goodness sake, don’t forget the garlic. Mince it up and mix it in.
I kind of thought I should have added it , but then I got lazy.
I completely agree with Jeff on the subject of soup. I actually think it’s one of those foods that was brought about by the Industrial revolution, nothing’s cheaper to serve your workers than a bowl full of water and horse meat. In fact, the whole cooking things in water grosses me out.
I kind of missed the whole tin lunchbox with famous people on them, by the time I was bringing my lunch to school it was in a cool 90’s insulated Rubbermade lunchsac. Don’t worry I definitely plastered it with Teckdeck and Pog stickers.
Oh yeah, I just wanted to say Jeff I’ve been a fan for awhile and actually found your blog through seaching for the product Alli (stellar post btw) just to find out what the hell it was and been reading ever since. Digging the new site and logo, keep up the funny!
Cereals as a kid: Kellogs Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Sugar Frosted Flakes, a few Cheerios, then, started jonsin’ for shredded wheat, the BIG pillows. Two in a bowl. Always loaded them all up with lots of sugar, then drank the sugary milk from the bowl. It was required.
As a kid in Catholic grade school, we had to attend Mass every first Friday (of the month) and that meant fasting from midnight until after you recieved Communion (the host). So, once a month, we would have to each breakfast during first period in school, after 8:00am Mass. Mom always fixed a couple of scroungy hard boiled eggs, and threw in a cardboard mini-box of dry cereal, with the waxed paper lining to prevent leaks when you opened the box and poured in the milk, which was in the thermos.
Aaaah, but the lunchbox: Steel, mailbox-shaped, totally Roy Rogers, with a matching Roy Rogers thermos (with a replaceable silver coated glass liner). It was only used for that after-Communion breakfast. Boy, would that thermos stink when I forgot to bring it home the same day, and the leftover milk festered in the thermos for a day or two. Lunches were always at school or home. After I got though using it, it sat on a shelf in the basement for years until my Mom had a bad cleaning attack, and got rid of it. God, it would be worth millions today!
Jorge, I never forget the garlic. ;o) I know it’s the most evil of ingredients in Jeff’s Palette O’ Bland world, but not in mine!
Recently, I’ve actually been considering joining (or starting) a Bring Back Buc Wheats political organization.
But I suspect my memory of their deliciousness is far sweeter than their actual flavor was.
I used to wash them down with Zarex, which apparently they still sell somewhere!
For the record, I also love chili, and am not a snob about beans. Brunswick stew can also be Heaven in a bowl.
I had the Peanuts/Snoopy lunchbox that Mrs. Bangs described. My younger sister had the Disney bus one.
Shiny Rod, I remember many a Fast breakfast in my house. If you were lucky, you sometimes got a PopTart as well.
As a child, I pretty much ate any cereal I could get my hands on. Honey Comb, Alpha Bits, Crunchberries, and Cookie Crisp were favorites. Don’t know if it was because of the cereal itself, or the prizes found inside the box. Today, my tastes have refined a bit. I prefer Cheerios, Rice Krispies, and Corn Pops. Once in a while, I will pick up a box of Cap’n Crunch or Cocoa Pebbles for old times’ sake.
I know I’ll probably be waterboarded for this, but it’s fast, easy, bread bowl is optional, but, damn, it tastes good! It’s Mr. Food’s Bread Bowl Chili. Ready in a half hour. Here’s the link:
http://www.mrfood.com/recipe_detail.aspx?item_guid=4e46e5e5-647a-425c-ba0a-d1a4d1f8101e
Hey, Retrollama – did you know that Crunchberries are not real berries? LOL
http://consumerist.com/5279181/alert-crunchberries-are-not-real
Man, some people are just too stupid to be alive….
So, when I was a kid, my mom didn’t think twice about sending me to school with a bologna or egg salad sandwich…to sit, festering at room temperature in my “bookbag” or locker for hours. Back in those days, I don’t think anyone thought of “safe handling” of food, or correct “holding temperatures”.
Of course, my mom also cross contaminated everything with raw chicken juices too. It’s no wonder I didn’t die from salmonella. To this day, I’ve caught her trying to put cooked meat from the grill back on the same plate she brought the raw stuff out on. Eeww.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger….haha.
Had the Evel lunchbox. Had the baseball lunchbox, although not sanctioned by Major League Baseball. It had generic players in blue hats and red hats in action on it. Although it’s suppressed from my memory, I also think I had an Archies lunchbox.
Regarding the glassy innards in the thermos, I always seemed to break those. The first time, I had a grape drink in my thermos and thought, “Hey, cool, Mom put crushed ice in my thermos!” Yep, I drank it, but soon realized the ice was not melting. Lucky I didn’t ingest any glass that day.
Soup is filling if you put about a half box of crackers in it. Chili has to have cheese, onions, jalapenos, crackers and a bottle of Death sauce in it. Then it’s filling and it keeps you regular.
Cereals- Ate all the sugar based cereals- Sugar Smacks, Sugar Pops, Sugar Frosted Flakes etc…. however, the continued pussification of America dictated that the word “sugar” must be removed from these cereals and now it’s just “Smacks, “Corn Pops” and “Frosted Flakes (what are they frosted with now, I don’t trust that goddamn Tiger one bit) . Had some cereals no longer around like “Freakies” and “Clackers”. Would get so pissed when Mom and fake Dad (Happy Father’s Day, fake Dad) would buy Cheerios and Kelloggs Corn Flakes, just because they liked them. What about ME??
Had the Koogle. I don’t think Nutella comes close in comparison. Tried Nutella as an adult and it was okay, until Kobe the rapist endorsed it. Would never buy it again.
When did wheat bread start happening? Everything was on white bread when I was a kid. I just don’t remember when they started sneaking wheat bread onto the grocery shelves.
Did you know- A key ingredient in Nutella is horse penis?
On IPOD right now- “Heroes”- David Bowie
Oh yeah, and the words “turkey” and “chili” should never be used in the same sentence.
Did you know- Kobe Bryant is raping a young, blonde white woman at this very minute? (Yes, I am bitter about the Orlando Magic loss)
On IPOD right now- “Whiskey in a Jar”- Metallica
My lunch box was a full size A&P paper bag with a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich usually with an Apple crushing the Jelly side. So embarrassing.
My wife works part time in the local school cafeteria and they use to give the kids who forgot their money a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. But today no peanuts are allowed in school (peanuts are the new cigarette). Now the deadbeat lunch is a Government Cheese Grill Cheese on Wheatbread.
OMG… I LOVE soup! It is a staple for me. Since I love to cook, I have some great recipes. My Wedding Soup is killer! I make it every year when we host Steeler play off games…..with warmed hard rolls and butter (real butter not shitty potted stuff)… I make an awesome chili too. NO BEANS!!! Add fresh onions and cheddar to the top with a dollop of sour cream….SCRUMPTIOUS!! Other goodies I make are French Onion and Clam Chowder….MMMMM!
No cereal is a different story. Can’t do it. I really have to have a hankering for it, which isn’t often. But as a kid…Captain Crunch was the shit! Even though it tore the roof of my mouth to ribbons….you know…all those little thingys hanging down your tongue keeps playing with?
Lunbhbox….Brady Bunch (God what a nerd…it want along with my buck teeth)… and Hot Wheels! Such a tomboy!
Lunchbox – Zorro, baby.
Cereal – Cheerios with brown sugar instead of white.
And what’s up with the aversion to sugar? What are you, from one of those Stan countries where they stand around in rags and watch their sheep die? I’m wondering if you can be trusted.