So, I’m sitting here a prisoner of my own home, at the hands of Federal Express. Or, as some of you name-shortening hipsters are fond of calling them, Fed-Ex… My new phone is supposed to be delivered today, and a signature is required. Grrr…
I’m down here in the bunker, relying on Andy (Black Lips Houlihan) to alert me to the package’s arrival. I’m expecting him to engage his patented combination of barking, snarling, turning of back-flips, and lightning-fast pawing of the front door while standing upright like a man. That’s right, patented. We have the government document framed and hanging in the upstairs hallway.
I have lots of things I need to do, but REALLY don’t want to miss that delivery. I love the gadgetry. Plus, if I miss it today, I’ll be a prisoner again tomorrow. Unless, of course, I go to the Fed-Ex sorting center in Crack Cyst, Pennsylvania, after 8 pm tonight. So, I need to wait it out…
I woke up this morning with a sore throat. I feel reasonably OK, except for my throat. There also seems to be something going on in the mucus department, but it’s still early days. Nothing is dripping yet, but I can tell there’s something askew deep inside my right nose hole. Fantastic… fan-flappin’-tastic.
Toney is spending the day with her cousin, in Philadelphia. So, I’ve been assigned the task of providing dinner for me and the boys. And that means one thing: we’ll be eating out tonight. Probably at Moe’s. It’s one of the few inexpensive restaurants we can all agree on. The older hooligan is picky as hell, and complicates matters. But he’s down with Moe’s, and that’s where we’ll undoubtedly end up.
Yeah, I know. I could go to the store and buy a bunch of healthy vegetables, and some lean meat… and prepare a nice meal for everyone. But, let’s be serious here. That shit ain’t gonna happen.
They love it when I’m put in charge of things, because it will probably be Moe’s, ice cream, and an assortment of Little Debbie snacks. Toney tries to keep a handle on things around here, but all bets are off when she’s in Philly. I might even go to Grand Rental Station, rent a caterer-grade chocolate fountain, and fill it with liquefied cheese food.
We’ll just have to play it by ear.
And holy shit! The phone just arrived. Is there a more exciting vision than this one? Of course there is. But it’s pretty damn great, nonetheless. Later, I’ll surrender myself, fully and completely, to the Droid Bionic. Ahhh… I love fresh gadgetry.
Yesterday Verizon sent an email inviting me to an “Android Advanced Workshop,” tomorrow night from 6:30 to 8:00. Have any of you attended such a thing? Is there any value? I always feel like I’m only utilizing about 20% of my phone’s potential, so it’s mildly intriguing. Do you have any experience with Verizon workshops? Are they any good?
I’m not working again until Sunday, and have a million things I want to accomplish between now and then. So, I’m going to cut this one a bit short, and get started on the to-do list — now that Fed-Ex has set me free.
First stop: the post office. All your shirts are going out today. I tried to mail them yesterday afternoon, but stormed out in a huff. It’s a long story… But they’re definitely going today, first class. So, you should have ’em by Friday, I’d guess.
I’m down to only eight shirts, and six of those are SMALL. What am I going to do with all those SMALLs? If you’re the size of a third grader, and want one, just buy me a beer ($7 or more), and I’ll send one to ya. That’s for the SMALLs only. OK?
And that’s gonna do it, boys and girls. I don’t really have a question, so you guys can just take it from here. Anything goes, as usual. Since I told you what I’m doing with my Tuesday, maybe you can tell us what you’re doing with yours? Or, if you’d like to talk about picky eaters — our oldest and several extended family members fall into the category — please do so. I don’t understand having an issue with, or being afraid of, almost every food in the world. But whatever.
I’ll be back tomorrow.