I took Friday off from work, and Toney and I had some low-wattage plans for the day, starting with an appointment with our accountant at 10 a.m. to discuss our taxes. It’s not good, my friends. We owe a thousand bucks. She already told us that much over the phone. But following that unpleasantness, we were going to go to lunch and just spend the day out ‘n’ about. It was going to be nice.
But… it snowed like a bastard. Probably the biggest snow of the winter, and it had been spring-like only hours before. Man, that really roasts my beef. I’ve officially had it with this crap. There haven’t been any truly apocalyptic scenarios, thankfully. But it’s been just enough to fuck up your day, over and over and over again. It’s annoying.
So, we canceled with the accountant and shoveled instead. It was unsatisfactory. The wind was blowing really hard, sending arctic blasts up the front of my shirt and jacket, across my shoulders, and down my back. You could literally feel it on the move. So, funk dat. I told the boys they needed to finish it. They’ll do anything we ask, they just never volunteer. Never. But they got to do the remaining 75% of it on Friday.
And the snow just kept falling. The roads were a disaster, but I was determined to at least get us some Chinese food for lunch. So, after the driveway was finished, Toney called in an order. This is how the conversation started:
Toney: Oh, I was just calling to see if you’re open.
Chinese food guy: We always open!!
I had a hard time getting off our street, but once I escaped the neighborhood the roads were a little better. I was sliding all over the place, but my ludicrous little Suzuki wind-up car does a pretty good job. I decided I’d get cocky with it and swing by the beer store before I picked up the food. It was treacherous, but I made it. While I was in there some bombastic mustachioed man with a camouflage baseball cap and Herman Munster boots came crashing in and yelled, “It’s fucking ridiculous out there!” Then he apologized for his language, which I found amusing. And for those of you keeping score at home, he bought a 30 pack of Miller Lite.
The Chinese food guy always calls me “Mr. Jeff,” and he also apologized, ’cause my order wasn’t quite ready. So, I stood and watched their cat with the waving arm, as they messed around with their shooting flames, etc. It’s like a goddamn steel mill back there, with all the smelting and whatnot.
After he handed me my food I told him I was putting some money in the tip jar. “I’m telling you about it because I want to get credit for it. Sometimes people don’t notice, and I don’t like that,” I joked. But he didn’t understand, and just stood there smiling.
The food was great, as usual, and then we got to sit around the house for the rest of the day. It makes me insane. If it’s my choice to be a lazy sack, then it’s different. But when I’m forced into sackism, I don’t care for it.
The wind continued to howl, and later in the day, Verizon shit the bed. We couldn’t make or receive calls for hours. On the TV news, they told us to use a landline if we need to call 911 or walk to the nearest fire station. It didn’t give me a warm and fuzzy feeling. If I’m having a heart attack I have to walk to the fire station? Doesn’t seem ideal. It came back up around 11 pm.
People got stranded on the interstate again, the National Guard was called into action, and they somehow decided to give the storm a name: Riley. That’s another thing that irritates me. They’re naming snowstorms now? Stoopid.
That evening Toney and I watched a few episodes of MasterChef season 4, and I watched two episodes of Mad Dogs on Amazon Prime after she went to bed. That was fun. I plan to watch all ten episodes. Have you seen it? I’m enjoying it. Good stuff.
When I scheduled the day off, I had visions of how it was going to be and it was NOTHING like that. It seems to work out that way quite often. Do your days off ever correspond with the pre-vision of them inside your head? Mine are generally way off and worse, much worse. I’m always optimistic about my days off, for some unknown reason, and often come away disappointed. Are you honest with your day off visions? More honest than I am?
And one final thing. While I was in the deepest throes of sackism on Friday, I purchased the first two Lynyrd Skynyrd CDs from Amazon. I like the original Skynyrd, and you can file a lawsuit if you have a problem with it. But it occurred to me that I still do some things that could be considered old-fashioned. Like buying CDs for instance. For a Question I’d like to know what things you do that some people might consider old-fashioned? Use the comment section to bring us up to date on it, and I need to go to work now.
Have a great day, my friends!
I’ll see you again soon.