The younger Secret was sick all weekend, and now the older boy is home from school a-sneezin’, a-snottin’, and a-hackin’. Fan-flipping-tastic! I feel like I’m sitting, right this very minute, inside a cloud of illness particles.
He’s going to the doctor at 4 pm, and hopefully they’ll make him better. And we can get some Lysol up in this bitch. Sweet sainted mother of Mary Mallon!
I was informed, about an hour ago, that the retro t-shirts are ready for pickup. I’ll get ’em on Thursday, my next day off, and try to put them in the mail on Monday. I’ll have a few XL and 2X left over, so if you want one….
Also, the T-Shirt Lady tells me there was a mix-up at T-Shirt Lady Labs, and a full batch of maroon shirts were run with the Evil Twin leapin’ catfish logo. So, the shirts are maroon, and the design is orange and white. She’s going to let me have those for a discount, if I want.
I’ll take a look, and see how hideous they are. If they’re not too bad, I might take them off her hands and pass the savings on to you. I should be able to sell them for $10 each, postage included. I’ll post a pic of the “miscommunication shirt” as soon as possible.
Who knows? Maybe it’s one of those fortunate accidents? Probably not, but maybe.
Over the weekend I watched two or three episodes of a show called World’s Strictest Parents, or somesuch. Have you seen this? It appears on some unknown cable channel, way up the dial.
The concept is fairly interesting… They take a couple of smart-ass, disrespectful, out-of-control teenagers, and make them live with a Ned Flanders-style family somewhere. Then they chronicle the friction.
Most of the kids made me crazy. Sarcastic little shits, one and all. If I ever talked to my parents the way they apparently do… well, it would’ve only happened once. Let’s just put it that way. Wow!
But one of them made me laugh. He was also an asshole straight-up, but was creative with it. Know what I mean? It wasn’t just the standard hollering of profanity, and slamming of doors. He would calmly argue with the host parents, being completely smart-alecky and infuriating, in a subdued, conversational tone. He was a different style of asshole, which I appreciated. He had skills.
Of course I couldn’t admit any of this out loud. So, don’t tell anyone, OK?
And just for the record… the “strict parents” irritated me too. What a bunch of humorless goodie-goodies. The natural reaction, for anyone with an, um, adventurous streak, would be to screw up the operation. None of it was overly surprising, and some of it I applauded. Secretly, inside my head.
A guy at work brought in a large freezer bag filled with “homemade sausage.” He said he and his buddies drank beer and “smoked” over 100 pounds of the stuff on Saturday.
He handed me one, and it looked like one of Andy’s yard crullers. I instantly smelled the smokiness of it, but was exceedingly skeptical. Homemade sausage? Made by a bunch of beer-guzzling cuppa-two-trees? Visions of salmonella danced in my head.
“Thanks. I’ll try it in a little while,” I told him, and laid it on a legal pad beside my keyboard.
When I picked it up, an hour later, there was a grease stain on the paper. But I sniffed the thing, and had to admit… it smelled like something I’d enjoy. So I took a tentative bite, and it was really good. I couldn’t choke down the whole thing, but ate most of it.
And so far, blood hasn’t exploded from my ass. I’ll keep you posted.
Are you ever put in that situation? Somebody at work, or wherever, brings in something they’re very proud of, and wants your reaction — right now? How did it work out for you?
A quick note to all the Westerberg/Replacements fans out there: six new Paul Westerberg songs were released today, and can be downloaded here. Also, the EP is available on CD. I haven’t heard it yet, but plan to grab it before I leave for work in a few minutes. Let me know what you think.
And I’ll leave you now with the Question of the Day… What lies have you told since getting out of bed this morning? I can only think of one: when Toney called she asked if I’d remembered to unload the dishwasher. My answer was a bold-faced lie, but I’ve covered my ass in the interim.
What about you? What lies have you told today? Is it possible to go through an entire day without telling, at least, a tiny white lie? I somehow doubt it.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
See ya then.