Just Another Update About Calendars, Bee Pollen, and Purple Ears

I’m not very happy with my 2012 calendar choice.  I went with the vintage Coca-Cola ads, which is kinda cool.  But the calendar part was botched.  It’s light green ink on a white background, and is difficult to see unless you stand up and mash your face against it.  So, I can no longer check a date from a seated position.  And it’s amazing how often I do that; I didn’t even realize it, until it became impossible.

Yeah, I know… I can pull up a calendar on my computer screen, or on my phone, etc.  “What is this, 1958?” and all that stuff.  But I’m in the habit of turning my head to the right, on a regular basis, and consulting my wall calendar.  What of it?

I think I’m going to have to ditch this Coke bullshit.  My whole calendar world has been thrown into a state of crisis…  This might sound crazy to you, but this will very likely turn into a full-blown night-and-day obsession until I find an acceptable replacement.  Oh, I’ve been here before…

Are you happy with your 2012 calendar choice?  Do you put any thought into it, or just tack up whatever crap your State Farm guy sends you?  I agonize over it, every year, and totally screwed it up this time.  I should be a pro by now!  Grrr…

I’m working a lot of weird hours, so the site updates are probably going to be sporadic for a while.  I apologize, but it’s — as they say — beyond my control.  In fact, a lot of things are beyond my control at this point.  It’s triggering the good ol’ anxiety dream where I have to take some kind of super-important test in college, and haven’t been to class in weeks.  I’ve been having that dream for thirty years.

I used to dream about being able to move around by floating, just an inch or two off the ground.  But apparently that one’s been burned-out by real life.  I haven’t dream-floated in a decade.  I miss it.

So, anyway…  I’ll do my best here, but it’s a challenge.  Thursday, for instance, is almost certainly going to be another update-free day.  Sorry.  But I’m confident sanity will soon return.  No evidence of that, mind you… just confidence.

I mentioned this on Twitter yesterday:  what’s the story with half the world suddenly taking bee pollen capsules?  I’ve never heard of such a thing, until two months ago.  And now it seems like everybody’s ingesting the pollen.

What do you guys know about this?  I could do some research, but don’t need a freakin’ totem pole of medical data.  Can someone just give me a simple summary of the supposed benefits of bee pollen?  I always ask, but get contradictory answers.  I think they’re hiding something…  Can you folks help me out?

I always hear George Noory talking about herbal supplements, and it sounds interesting.  But I’m convinced they’re dangerous, and would cause my aorta to detach or turn to dust.  Is that irrational?

Last night someone told me my ears are purple.  What the??  I checked it out in the mirror, and they don’t look purple to me.  They’re just, you know, regular ear-colored.  But now I’m paranoid…  Is there some kind of blood-flow problem?  Is it a sign of impending aortal detachment?  At the very least… have I become some kind of walking, talking purple-eared freak??

I don’t care for any of it.  I think she was just messing with me.  At least I hope so.  Good god, between the calendar and this fresh weirdness… I’m a mess.

And I need to call it a day, my friends.  I’m expected to attend a meeting forty miles from here, in about an hour, so I’d better stop right here.  If you have anything to say about bee pollen, herbal supplements, anxiety dreams, purple ears, or 2012 calendars, please use the comments section below.

Have a great day!  See ya soon.

Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself at Amazon: US and Canada

118 Responses to “Just Another Update About Calendars, Bee Pollen, and Purple Ears”

  1. Oh yeah!

    [Reply]

    The Qweezy Mark Reply:

    Weirdo!

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  2. Bee pollen keeps your ears from turning purple.

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  3. Purple ears come from eye-strain.

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    madz1962 Reply:

    Or ass strain by grunting out a cactus

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  4. I always use Lighthouse calendars.

    I think the Bee Pollen is one of those new “easy way” to lose weight deals.

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  5. I’m on my third calendar and now happy. The first two were gifts….one had no room to write in the days…no squares just numbers. The other one had the days going down instead of across…?!?!#?#!$?%

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  6. I totally get the calendar thing. January is a tough month where I try to use the State Farm or Dentist Calendar but usually have to go out and find the right one.

    Bones seems to have gone through calendar hell too, days going down instead of across is just wrong.

    The bright side? Most calendars are 75% off by Feb.

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  7. There’s not such thing as Bee Pollen. Pollen comes from plants: it’s their equivalent to sperm. Just remember, whenever you take “Bee Pollen” capsule you’ve got a mouthful of plant sperm.

    Also, for those of you with pollen allergies, your spring/summer sneezing fits are brought on by a nose full of sperm. Yummmmm!

    Speaking of sperm: http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/30/fear-factor-donkey-semen-hot-bitter-hints-of-hay/

    /How about a nice hot glass of donkey semen?

    [Reply]

    bikerchick Reply:

    I heard about the donkey semen twins on the local radio show I listen to in the morning. Unimaginable and vile. What idiots won’t do for money.

    [Reply]

    Alex Reply:

    I was going to ass some smart ass comment about bee’s and pollen, but guess what, there is an actual “Bee Plant”.
    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&gbv=2&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=9990l9990l0l11370l1l1l0l0l0l0l0l0ll0l0&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&q=bee%20plant

    tinyurl incase it gets truncated’;
    http://tinyurl.com/72cv23j

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  8. Hmmm…I just copy any old calendar from work (currently it is a Humane Society calendar) and clip it to my refrigerator…it will be covered in notes, reminders and x’s in no time…I do not buy calendars. Regarding the bee pollen, people will take anything you tell them to if 1) you tell women they will be beautiful forever and 2) you tell men they will have sex forever. Purple ears? I have no idea. Poor circulation? .

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  9. I got one of those Magic Eye calendars, and I couldn’t see the hidden image for January. When I get home from work tonight I hope I can see the February image, otherwise I’ll either have to get my eyes checked, or get a new calendar. A calendar would be cheaper.

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    What if they made the dates magic images?

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  10. I bought my 2012 calendars at Borders when they were closing on deep discount. I hate them. They have a photo for every day of the week and it is too much visual “noise” to see the date easily. Plus, the surface is so slick that ball point ink won’t stick easily.

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    Good2go Reply:

    I had one like that last year. Completely useless.

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  11. Bee pollen helps with energy deficit when you have a cold. Wall calendars must have squares for writing stuff like appointments and rainfall amounts and also show moon phases. And pretty or humorous pictures for each month.

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  12. The calender I have features a painting by “Degas” every month. This month is a painting where it shows men in a cotton exchange in New Orleans (I guess) and I fucking love it.

    The bee pollen is a bunch of goddamn nonsense. There’s a lot of fools out there that praise “natural” shit. Well, I’ve got news for them, EVERYTHING on Earth is natural, so shut the fuck up. Crude oil is all natural, why don’t you gulp down a coffee mug full of that? It’s not unheard of. The guy that brought us Vaseline used to eat the shit daily (he died in his 90′s).

    One of the newest fads is to eat like a fucking caveman. Whatever, do what you want. I just don’t want to hear about it.

    [Reply]

    Phil Jett Reply:

    Well said Jason.

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    WB in OH Reply:

    Eat like a caveman? Fucking ridiculous! When’s the last time you saw Brontosaurus burgers at your local grocery store.

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    johnthebasket Reply:

    And even if they had b-burgers, I don’t think they had the proper condiments.

    jtb

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    westersteve Reply:

    lord. .. don’t get jeff started on mayonnaise again…or lettuce…..or mustard.

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  13. Be careful of the mega dose large cap bee pollen suppositories, they sting when you take them.

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    For some reason you made me think about an SNL skit about a summer camp for bees? One of the “kids” was caught bending his stinger and was getting honey all over the place? I think Chevy sat down and consoled him that we all bend our stingers from time to time…

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  14. Bee pollen, herbal supplements, fucking organic this and that. I’m so fucking tired of people spouting about man-made shit being bad. Man made from what..things that occur naturally on the earth? You know, like plutonium? I guess egg salad is man made cause I never see any growing on any fucking trees.

    We are all gonna die. It’s proven many times a day. Just eat some fucking eggs and bacon, belch and move on already.

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    T. Farty McAppleass Reply:

    I love you, Phil. I’m eating some all natural boiled eggs as we speak, shell and all.

    [Reply]

    Phil Jett Reply:

    Right back at ya T!

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    CADude Reply:

    Looks like we’ve got some man-love going on here.

    I think I’ll take a step back. On account of my phobia….

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    I’m buying some “eggies” this weekend. They’re little tupperware type egg pods that you crack an egg in to and then boil. No shell. Sorry, the topic was hard boiled eggs wasn’t it?

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    WB in OH Reply:

    Versus just boiling it in the shell?

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    yeah…no peeling, My blood pressure can’t take it when I make a batch of pickled eggs…damn those little bits of shell.

    First world problem?

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    T. Farty McAppleass Reply:

    First world problem for sure.

    Real problem: They’re cutting our clits off today? Anybody got any food?
    First world problem: Fucking bits of eggshell.

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    I can be no more thankful than I am that “fucking bits of eggshell” is (being a single problem, I used is) the absolute biggest problem in my personal life.

    By what sorcery, providence, or genetic history are my collective bits of DNA allowed to reside in this beautiful part of the world with food and clits attached? And by inverse corollary, how does it happen that others are not? I don’t get it either. But I am thankful for spiritual reasons and pleased for pragmatic ones.

    I once lamented to a volunteer at a Red Cross blood donor clinic after I donated my pint of O neg that the world is a cruel and sadistic place sometimes. We were looking at a picture of a young girl who at that time was the same age as my healthy, happy, safe, educated, and protected sweet baby girl. I say was, because, from the story in the paper, she would like be dead, or frankly in a sad, sad way, better off dead… war, disease, unimaginable violence and terror with almost no hope of ever changing that.

    So, I’ll take my bits of shell and be thankful in a wry, sentimental way…and use them for compost. At least that circle of life can continue.

    It’s been so long since I could give blood. I take insulin and they won’t let me donate for MY safety. I even asked if I could sign a waiver but no joy. So I WANT to give blood; I’m O Neg, the universal donor; I am a low risk donor; but I can’t give. I’m hoping it”s still the thought that counts.

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    T. Farty McAppleass Reply:

    Well, I feel like an asshole now.

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    NO!!!! Why dude? You didn’t say anything untoward. You made me both smile and think deeper at the same time, That’s your gift! I was just elaborating on what I said earlier after you got me thinking. That’s the whole point of the “first world problems” meme…

    Me love you long time. Always have.

    [Reply]

    T. Farty McAppleass Reply:

    Oh thanks. I feel much better now. Hey, is there a way to counteract cyanide pills? Maybe drink some milk or something? Fuck, fuck, FUCK.

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    Quick – bull semen. Needs to be fresh and warm. No time to explain. Just go!!!

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  15. Our calendar are photos taken from beautiful, peaceful back porches. ahhhhh, lovely. inspiring. then I open our actual back door and our porch overlooks our tiny backyard, the alley, and the bank’s drive through/ATM. frick

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  16. Beloved takes hebal supplements. Lots of them. But I’ll tell you, he reversed his high blood pressure, avoided a stent and looks like he’s in his early 50s (he’s 63). I take something now and then (Valeria root is a great sleep aid) but the truth is, I HATE swallowing pills. I have gummy CoQ10 and gummy multi-vitamins. I almost choked – twice – on those big horse pills so I won’t go near them.

    I have a Humane Society calendar. Note to self: NEVER donate again. Every friggin’ week I get about 17 pieces of mail from them. I’ll donate – anonymously – to my local shelte from now on. See what happens when you start drinking and Sarah McLaughlin comes on the TV showing hurt and scared critters?

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    bikerchick Reply:

    Can’t swaller the biggins’, huh? Not the girl I thought you were, madz. I thought we went to the same school! :)

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    bikerchick, I’m talking about those big, oversized,, hard, stiff, – wait a minute – what were we talking about?

    Is it getting warm in here?

    [Reply]

    CADude Reply:

    That’s the perfect antidote for a man-love phobia. Thanks, ladies!

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    T. Farty McAppleass Reply:

    I take valerian too. My God that shit stinks.

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    bikerchick Reply:

    madz: They do have “spray” that numbs the back of your throat to “assist” swallowing.

    Just a little tip from your bestest Aunt Bikerchick.

    your welcome.

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    bikerchick Reply:

    OR….. you’re welcome. Can you say…. “edit button”?

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  17. Jeff,

    Why don’t you just google calendar templates and print out the months to tape over the invisible green numbers that you currently have. No need for a whole calendar.

    I don’t personally have a printed calendar. What is this, 1958?

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  18. Only one of my ear gets purple but that comes from holding a glass up to motel walls to long.

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    madz1962 Reply:

    QUIT LISTEING TO ME, YA PERV!

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    BoMama Reply:

    That made me giggle, madz1962

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  19. yeah i print mine from online and usually grab any calendar from the dollar store, this year we got rainbows. i refuse to pay more than a dollar for a calendar.

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  20. I don’t keep a calendar at home–depend on Quicken or my phone, but at work….

    Major production–we (the 4 of us in my immediate office) each MUST have a specific calendar from a specific semi-govt entity that forks them up every year. They make a special trip to bring just the right number due the the massive whining episodes I’ve pulled in the past. They are full year wall calendars on one page with December from last year and January for next year down at the bottom. Hang on the wall from a little ring at the top.

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  21. I received a Mustang calendar for Christmas but I don’t want to write on it so it replaced last years Bond Girls calendar in my bathroom. I like to look at nice pictures while I pee. I need to get a cheaper one for my cubicle at work so that I can write on it.

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    johnthebasket Reply:

    My roomie got a calendar with horses as well.

    And, not to pick nits, but shouldn’t pee be in quotes? Just trying to be helpful and stand on guard for thee.

    jtb

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    CADude Reply:

    If you try to hold quotes up while you pee, you end up with urine all over the walls.

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    johnthebasket Reply:

    I don’t see any problem with using your little finger to aim the stream. Also, I heard using your little finger shows you have class.

    jtb

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    It especially helps if you have the Devil’s Piss – the ‘ol forked tongue of piss? You could use your pinky especially well to redirect the wayward stream.

    And by pinkie I mean little finger. Not penis. Just for clarity.

    I find it just easier to pee in the shower. Perhaps my wife wouldn’t get so mad if I was actually showering at the time instead of just every time I need to whiz.

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    Kevindust Reply:

    That’s Mustang with a capital “M”. Horsepower, not horses.

    I prefer to look at youjizz (one word, noun) while I “pee”. I never want to look at you jizz.

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    ron Reply:

    i was thinking mustang ranch girls

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    johnthebasket Reply:

    Wild horsepower couldn’t drag me away
    Wild, wild horsepower, couldn’t drag me away

    jtb

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  22. We have a free calendar our city sends out. I forgot to buy one this year. Last year my mom gave me the “Busy Mom’s Calendar”. No pretty pictures. Each month took up the top and bottom of the open page. The days ran down the side, and each family member had a column. It was a great calendar. I should try to find one.

    My ears turn kind of purple when I drink beer. I also get congested and my face looks like I have a sunburn. Maybe I shouldn’t drink beer.

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  23. We have a calendar issue here at work. I love those big desk blotters with the calendar pages you rip off as the months pass. What are they…5 bucks? The Mrs. refused to let us get them…we need 3. She said they were unnecessary. WTFever. So we still have the old one’s from 2010 with December and January 2011 half ripped off. Doodles, scribbles, and stained. Looks great at the front desk. But fuck her. I refuse to buy one, 5 bucks or not. Simply her ridiculous cheap bullshit. I hate to have to get the surgery book or flip computer screens to get the date. Seems silly but it’s a pain.

    Saturday night we were at the bar (surprise). My boyfriend looks at me and says, “what’s wrong with your ear?”. My right earlobe was all red and swollen. A nice look. I thought it was a zit or something. Upon closer inspection, it looked like something BIT me. AAAAHHHHH! And not one bite but THREE in a row. TF??? I don’t even want to know what the FUCK was crawling over my face. Hooo-ly shitballs.

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    madz1962 Reply:

    OWWWWWW

    I’ve had my earring holes BLEED the other night. I don’t wear earrings that often because of that.

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    hot fuzz Reply:

    My pee hole bleeds. Should I be concerned?

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    madz1962 Reply:

    Nah, but if it bleeds simultaneously with your blow hole, thne you may want to consult a doctor.

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  24. I use free calandars I get at the rust proofers and the garage work uses. Either a car based one (if you come in too late those have already been snatched up) or an outdoor scenes calander–as long as there are no people in it. I don’t have any desire to look at strangers, unless they are female, naked (preferably) and pleasing to my eye.
    One nice thing about these calandars is they have always been the large well outlined, black on white months. Easy to jot notes in, and read from a distance, and yes, they even have the previous and upcoming months in the corners.

    On the topic of things you look at from your seat, a clock visible in the dark would rank up there with the calandar. For me, it was the vcr. Having done some rearranging, the damn thing was no longer visible at a glane, drove me up the wall having to either find the remote to pull up the onscreen data, or reach for the wristwatch. Of course, the lazy ass in me doesn’t want to do all that movement, I just want the time damn it…

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  25. Steven Wright “I’m not buying a calendar this year, I’m waiting for next year”.

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  26. I have a NASA calendar in my cubicle. January featured an image of trickles of water flowing on Mars. February has a Hubble image of an emphatic galactic collision.

    Purty!

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    Tipsey McChugney Reply:

    The February image looks like a cosmic exclamation point in shades of purple and pink

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    johnthebasket Reply:

    I apologize for pissing on Mars. Didn’t know there was a camera around.

    jtb

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  27. Jeff…

    I have approximately those two dreams. When I’m up against the fucking wall, it’s test time at school or on-deadline time at work in my dreams. When I’m a little chilled, it’s the floating dream. The latter are disappointing to awake from. (Also, a preposition is something you shouldn’t end a sentence with.)

    Bee pollen is dangerous and shouldn’t be ingested without checking with someone who actually went to med school. I know TWO perfectly healthy people who, about fifteen years ago started taking bee pollen for something (I forget what) and BOTH ended up with serious gastric insults that never entirely went away. In effect, the bee shit gave them chronic gastritis, which is less fun than it sounds.

    I’m with you 100% on the calendar. Whatever your economic state, do whatever is necessary to have the perfect calendar on the wall where you work at home. Mine is four feet to my right, at eye level, and is currently my 2011 Weather calendar because I haven’t found the perfect 2012 calendar yet. But I will. Soon.

    Purple ears can be caused by EAR Java, a condition which will quickly vanish unless the Java app becomes resident. Always doing my best to help.

    jtb

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  28. purple ear is caused by the radiation emited by cellphones, and usually precedes a full on rectal prolapse.

    [Reply]

    Uncle_Wedgie Reply:

    The only cure known is to have extra pickles on your sammiches

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    DeepInTheHeart Reply:

    And mayonnaise.

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    bikerchick Reply:

    Sounds like Jeff’s b-hole is in touble!

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  29. Ears turning purple at work, or turning purple/red when drinking beer (or other alcohol)–especially when coupled with a red face–just might be a sign of high blood pressure (induced by stress or alcohol). Jeff, given your diet (or lack thereof? Nah…to say that would be judging, and I’ve got too much baggage to ever become a judge), high BP wouldn’t surprise me.

    That’s my medical opinion. It’s worth as much as my legal opinion in these parts.

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  30. I don’t need a calendar. I have a boss and a wife.

    I used to have the floating dream too, but I could get some hight if I did it right. Like Jeff, it’s been a long time.

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  31. I just had my first floating dream (that I could recall) a couple of weeks ago. It was pretty cool.

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  32. Along the lines of everything is natural, when people bitch about chemicals in things, everything is a chemical dipshit.

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    Sure. I just have a slight preference for organic chemicals.

    jtb

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    dto Reply:

    .mmmmmm….shroooms!

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  33. I love you people for your comments about “natural” and “chemical” and “organic” and similar hippie sanctimoniousness. Very level-headed bunch here.

    Calendars: I have three I buy faithfully every year (been doing this for roughly 17 years now): Dilbert and You MIght Be a Redneck page-a-day, 365 Kittens for the wall. For me, they’re entertainment as much as they are anything practical (appointments and such go in my iPod’s Calendar app so it’ll nag me about stuff when it needs to be remembered).

    School dreams: yep, I have the one about “finals are tomorrow, I haven’t been to class all quarter/semester/year, I don’t even know where my locker is” every so often. For additional anxiety points, public nudity has been involved in these at times as well. No memory of flight dreams

    No comments on bee pollen or purple ears.

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    You might want to stick with the redneck calendar. Organic chemistry isn’t a piece of hippie sanctimoniousness. It’s the study of carbon-based compounds. My expressed preference for carbon-based compounds does not prevent me from eating a salad whose source components have been sprayed with insecticide, although, as it happens, I do prefer lettuce sans poisons.

    jtb

    [Reply]

    Seanette Reply:

    Nice job missing the point. The problem is with valid terminology such as “organic” being hijacked by self-righteous Luddites who are horrified that humanity has found food production methods that produce a lot more and better at less cost than their beloved Stone Age approach.

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    Sorry I missed your point. I’ve visited organic farms here in the Puget Sound area. They are the antithesis of “Stone Age”, with computer-managed watering systems and on-demand harvesting practices. When you fight pests mano a mano, there’s no room for Luddites. Maybe organic farms are different where you live.

    jtb

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  34. I have a retro mama calendar. You know, old-fashioned, 50s style drawings with ironic captions. I usually go for calendars with gorgeous pictures, but my needs have changed. My new calendar has enough room to write everything I need on each day, and it came with stickers to help make dates stand out. I suspect I’ll have “planning” calendars from here on out. It has helped me keep more organized, but I do miss the nature pictures.

    As for the bee pollen, even the name irritates me. Bees don’t produce pollen. I remember years ago everyone took royal jelly, some other supposed miracle bee product.

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  35. Fuck Bee Pollen. It lead me to doing Hummingbird Nectuar.

    My anxitey dream has to do with Natalie Portman and Jennifer Connely and mind your own business about that one.

    [Reply]

    dto Reply:

    ….led……..crap.

    [Reply]

  36. I am working on getting a Bee Pollen Calendar; very few exist.

    The wife goes out and buys a wall calendar as soon as they 40-50% off. February has a picture of hanging garlic.

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    CADude Reply:

    If she waits until calendars are 40-50% off, what do you use until May or June?

    [Reply]

  37. It’s the Alaska Weather Calendar for me, as it has been for the past 17 years. Always great pictures, lots of great weather trivia. My wife and I buy about a dozen every year to send to friends in the Lower 48.
    No opinion on bee pollen or any other natural suplement. I’m basing this off a friend of my wife’s who is into Holistic cures. I have Hepatitis C, and the wife’s friend said that I could cure it by injesting charcoal orally, or sticking a charcoal briquet in my butt.
    I also have a friend who told me her chiroprator could cure me. Between spinal adjustments and charcoal up my ass, I think I rather just die, lol!

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  38. I don’t see how Jeff does it so often.

    I’m working 12 hour days this week and next and it’s killing me. I’m only three days in, no sir, I don’t like it.

    All I’ve been doing is walking around glancing at things and checking either “GO” or “No GO”. I don’t know why the Army capitalizes the word “go”.

    Anyway, I feel like I have that checklist burned onto my brain.

    Checklist.
    Coffee pot.
    Checklist.
    Microwave.
    Checklist.
    Soap.
    Checklist.
    Pillow.
    Checklist.
    Door lock.

    It’s drivin’ me nuts. But hey, only 7 days left.

    [Reply]

    clintcurtis Reply:

    Seriously, if you are in the Army, transfer over into the Air Force. I once caught a C-130 hop to McChord. I was on the flight with a bunch of Army Airborne guys. Halfway inth the flight the back door opened, and out jumped the Airborne. The loadmaster and I were the only ones in back as the Army parachuted into the Yakima Firing Range.

    [Reply]

    hot fuzz Reply:

    Go? as in CAPCOM we are GO for coffee pot?

    [Reply]

  39. If you had an old calendar from 1928,1956 or 1984 you could use it again this year.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/repeating.html

    Now isn’t that handy to know?

    [Reply]

  40. Why is it so hard to make a useful calendar? Yes, there are several things you have to get right, but it’s not like they have to start from scratch every year and try all sorts of dumb things to see what works. What worked well for a wall calendar in 1958 is pretty much the same set of features we need now. Just move the numbers around a bit every year, and make the bikinis a tiny bit skimpier.

    I would have to know the sawdust content of any bee pollen before putting it in my mouth.

    [Reply]

  41. Happy groundhog daze!

    [Reply]

    bikerchick Reply:

    Oh, yeah, it’s Goundhog Day. In my home town of Indiana, PA, during highschoold days, Punxy was our bitter football rival. I remember one year, someone put a dead groundhog in their bus during our homecoming game. That was some big news back then. Don’t know if anyone would give a shit now.

    This morning, I heard that there are over 15,000 people in Punxy to see if this poor creature see’s his shadow or not. Some people traveled from across the country for the event. Others said it was on their “bucket list”. Wow. Bucket list?? Really? Driving from East Sneakerville, Oregon? If I drove from Oregon to see this shit, Jax from Sons of Anarchy better be my chauffeur with a few back seat stops along the way.

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    I suppose ever since that Bill Murray movie came out, it’s THE THING to do on Groundhog day.

    man, some people are fucking stupid…

    [Reply]

    hot fuzz Reply:

    I would Totally do a frivolous trip like that to a small little town that bloats up for a once a year thing. I think it’d be fun and I think the other people there would be there for the same reason.

    To see the rat. And by rat I don’t mean penis.

    I think everyone would be laughing at themselves thinking, I can’t believe we’re doing this and giggling with everyone else who was in on the joke,.

    I feel like having some pancakes. Don’t know why,,,,

    [Reply]

    Kevindust Reply:

    A local radio station re-played the complete morning show from Feb 1st on Groundhog Day this year. It confused a lot of people.

    [Reply]

    WB in OH Reply:

    That’s a funny stunt!

    [Reply]

  42. I have a write on/wipe off calendar for the fridge, so I can keep track of appointments, school shenanigans or birthdays. I have a date book that I keep by my “office” (i.e. a bunch of crap piled under the coffee table). The Evil Twin picks our son’s calendar for his room, ETs office and the dining room. He picks really neat ones.

    [Reply]

  43. I simply cannot believe how many of you folks are misspelling the word “colander”

    …and you are supposed to drain pasta with it, not keep track of dates…

    [Reply]

  44. Jeezum crow, I must be a geek! My calendar is Outlook…

    [Reply]

  45. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/46249182/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/#.Tyv49ORMdvQ

    Only in Hollywood. On a side note, who knew Spongebob Squarepants was big pimpin’ on the side.

    [Reply]

  46. Only in Quebec
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWzbEn-aXMQ

    [Reply]

    WB in OH Reply:

    Fools, everbody knows you need to put down salt after you shovel the walks.

    [Reply]

  47. I use a desk calendar (the little top spiral bound jobbies). I usually get the one from the bank because they make it with just the right size numbers and the right contrast. This year I got one from City Hall and within the first day I had taken a sharpie and rewritten the numbers an inch tall in my ugly man-writing. Meh, it works.

    I often dream of urination. Not speaking as a life long goal but rather my dreams include me whizzing. Do you have any idea how bothersome that can be for a middle aged guy to wake up having to check to see if he wet the bed or not? It’s frightening. For the record no, I haven’t…

    When I’m stressed, I dream I am a waiter and I’m doing a pretty shitty job of getting the orders in to the kitchen so people are being let down. And then I will be given another section to also cover. One version had the owner buying a supermarket, clearing everything out, putting in tables and I had to drive across town to take their orders… The place was full and the only kitchen was back at the original restaurant. Not fun.

    I don’t have a problem with my EAR turning purple but there is another part of me that does.

    [Reply]

    bikerchick Reply:

    Make sure to take your helmet off before you urinate.

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    I have a recurring pee dream, too – that I have to go REALLY BAD but every bathroom I encounter is filthy and the door won’t lock. it’s maddenlng.

    [Reply]

  48. listen to this radiolab podcast for a tip on how to get rid of that anxiety dream. pretty interesting stuff…

    http://www.radiolab.org/blogs/radiolab-blog/2012/jan/23/wake-up-dream/

    [Reply]

  49. We got a free calendar from Jets Pizza. It seams to be working fine. Today is Friday right?

    [Reply]

  50. I baught and ingested this.

    http://sfist.com/2012/02/03/jack_in_the_box_unleashes_a_bacon_m.php

    (use the link above because i like the idea that a San Francisco website has “S Fist” in it. Lik, San Francisco fisting.)

    I was also told that they could not mix the bacon bits in. The over excited girl in a hat behind the counter told me that they couldn’t mix the bacon in because, since they use real ice cream, the milkshake mixer would transfer bacon to other milkshakes. I don’t buy it; wash the damn spinner blades off. But, whatever… wait a minute, just dump the bacon bits on top like the whipped cream. I ordered a side of bacon or $0.78 and dumped it in myself.

    The milkshake itself reminded me of when I eat fake maple syrup with my bacon; you know, like when you get a pancake platter and the syrup gets all over the pork meat. There is no discernable maple flavor, just that similar sweetness of your generic “Pancake/Waffle” syrup that is usually made from corn.

    It was pleasant, and strangely refreshing. I recommend not getting the whipped cream though. As it melted and mixed in with the milkshake, the liquid smoke flavor of the bacon syrup faded and I was left with a breakfasty sweet vanilla milkshake.

    I also recommend leaving the bacon bits out. While providing a cool and satisfying chew along with the smoky flavor of the shake, they created frequent and frustratingly infuriating straw clogging. I think the JITB R&D team probably knew that well before I did.

    Also, since I am writing this with my bear butt hanging off the rail of my third floor apartment patio thingy and expelling a rancid mix of what can only be feces and lava straight from hell, I think I just discovered that I have a lactose intolerance.

    [Reply]

  51. I have two calendars this year…one has trains, the other, various products from defense contractors. Mainly tanks and airplanes, but also a very nice collage of pictures from Colt of all of their defense products.

    [Reply]

  52. Calendars, wow. For Christmas, I get 6 calendars. Two for my Nascar friends, a Tony calendar , and a Junior calendar. and for me, a Jeff Gordon calendar and an English Springer Spaniel calendar. For a couple other friends, a Norman Rockwell Calendar, and a Steelers calendar. $15 bucks apiece, but they’re worth it. Takes care of most of my Christmas shopping.

    [Reply]

    dto Reply:

    Ever get the urge to call up any of those folks and ask ‘em, “What”s the date today?”, just to see if you’re getting your moneys worth?.

    [Reply]

    dto Reply:

    I’m not sure but I think I just wrote a Stephen Wright joke…

    I like to buy all of my friends calanders for Christmas. I’ll call them every now and then and say…”What’s the date today?”

    [Reply]

  53. Check it out, I’m number 7 on the heavy metal charts.

    http://www.soundclick.com/?genres/?charts.cfm?genre=Metal&subgenre?ID=173

    (That’s not super great if you’ve ever seen the numbers necessary to get on the carts, but it’s still pretty cool.)

    [Reply]

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