Throws Right, Romances Right
There’s an inordinate amount of chaos at Chez Kay this week. Chaos and aggravation. I wouldn’t expect much from this update if I were you, I really wouldn’t. But I’ll do what I can here…
The bathroom is sitting unfinished, and we haven’t seen the contractor since Sunday. Kinda concerning. Toney spoke with a person in their business office yesterday, and she promised the guy would be here by 10 am today. As I type this it’s 11:31, and we got nothing but crickets.
On Sunday he put some stuff (a technical term) on the floor, that he said must be allowed to “set” for 24 to 48 hours. So he wouldn’t be here on Monday, he told us. But he’d back at it on Tuesday, and planned to work 10 to 12 hours that day.
So I don’t know what the hell’s going on. It’s Wednesday, and we haven’t heard from him. I’m fixin’ to make a phone call, and can feel my inner-bastard asshole (basthole) coming into bloom.
Grrr…
Also, Toney and the older Secret are going out of town for a few days. He’ll be competing at a multi-day swim meet in another part of the state, so I’ll be holding down the fort here until Friday evening.
And that means I’ll be in charge of feeding the younger youngling, and getting him to his various camps and activities on time. I don’t know how Toney keeps track of it all; I’m going to need a freaking schematic over here.
But I’ve got the feeding part covered: Five Guys tonight, TGI Friday’s tomorrow. Done! Yes, I’m an old-hand at the feeding part.
Oh, wait. Andy’s going ass-over-tits upstairs. I’ll be right back… Yep, it’s the plumber. He gave me some convoluted story that might’ve included the words “Tobyhanna” and “miter saw,” but I wasn’t really listening. The important thing: he’s back on the job. All is forgiven; pass the beer nuts.
Surf Reporter Brian sent me this picture yesterday, presumably of a fellow-shopper at a store somewhere. Sexy!
And you’ve GOTTA check out this great post by Greg Miller, about West Virginia strip clubs. In fact, you should bookmark his site, and subscribe to the feed. ‘Cause the dude is right up our alley, as they say.
Finally, I was listening to George Noory last night, while driving home from the Demoralization Institute, and one of the callers said he believes Earth and the human race exists for the entertainment of aliens. They’re watching us, he believes, like a big reality program.
And that got me to thinking… If we are, in essence, players in a massive, never-ending sporting event, wonder if alien kids collect human trading cards? “I’ll trade you two Harry Ocheltrees for one Danny Rose…”
And if they do, what kinds of stats about us would they have on the backs of the cards? Number of beers consumed during entire “career?” Number of times he’s “romanced” himself? What do you think?
In fact, what kind of lifetime statistics would you like to see about yourself? If there’s some official scorekeeper in another galaxy, constantly crunching the numbers on us, what categories would you most be interested in seeing?
Use the comments link below, for your thoughts and ideas.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Now playing in the bunker.
Filed under: Daily
doh
Just to clarify…that is NOT me on the Bunker Cam!
Update! Woohoo!
Sweet sainted mother of updates….
Woot, woot, maybe a four!
Woohoo top 10!
big deal.
Thanks for the clarification Tammie, I was getting a little, Oh well, it passed…
I can give you today’s stats. So far I’ve:
Yelled at 6 subordinate employees
Made 1 of my assistant’s cry
Threatened the life of 1 contractor
Told 1 government employee to fuck off
Blocked all incoming calls for 4 hours
Written 1 letter
Yup, this day is shaping up to go in the record books and I’ve still got 3 hours of pure joy ahead of me.
Tammie,
We’ll need to see a picture of you from behind, in the same pose, to prove your rather ridiculous assertion that it’s not you.
I’ve been working with this guy from China today. It’s true (at least in his case) what they say about the Chinese not being able to pronounce certain letters, such as “L” which is replaced with “R”. So I’ve been trying to get him to say “elections” so that it’ll come out “erections”. Not much going on right now, you might be able to tell.
I hope the stats include the number of times I’ve had sex. I stopped counting a long time ago because my grandfather told me that the only 2 that count are the first and the last. Boolshit. I wish I’d known when the 100th, 1000th, and 5000th time were (for example). I’d probably have given the girl some kind of prize when I finished. “Thanks sugartits. This is your lucky night! That was my 1000th time. Reach into this bag and pull yourself out a prize! Wow. A kazoo. Nice!”
This concludes my Jorge style post.
Oh my….first post in a year and I get top 10????
Life is good!
@ Tyrosine – So what were you doing at the DMV?
I figure I’m the only one on here who knows who Jeff is talking about with the names “Harry Ocheltree and Danny Rose” and I am cracking the fuck up !! If you only knew. LOL!
My beers consumed stat (12oz) is probably in the 6 digit range by now.
It’s about damn time you updated. I was going to ask for a refund then I remembered I don’t pay anything.
Maybe the woman in the bunkercam is just exercising. Naked. Ya never know.
As for stats, I’d like to see how many pounds of chocolate I’ve eaten in my life.
Wait…maybe not.
What is this “awaiting moderation” crap?????
I WANT MY TOP TEN DAMMIT!!!!!
Where is Jorge?
Got back from the DMV at 10 AM…they of course wanted top secret paperwork to make my car an antique. Paperwork that is going to take six months to track down. I found part 1 after 3 hours of searching. Part 2 is going to take another 6 months or so…
Stats I would like to see? I would love to know total calories consumed (lifetime). Also, number of sexual partners. I was a huge manwhore from 16-29. I don’t know the number. My wife would like to know, and does not believe me that I don’t know the number.
Back from Jamboree…
Top 20!
I have nothing to say but am slipping off the Top Commentors list.
Feel really bad for those Tazmanian Albino guys.
From all I know a miter saw is a saw used to angle baseboards (I renovated a house once).
I don’t want to know any of my stats. It would scare me.
Whoops Tanzanian.
I would like to see the stats on miles driven, with the percentage of miles driven with middle finger extended included.
The website that the Further Evidence story is on has some really weird shit.
I saw several stories about the bubonic plague. And I had no idea that albinos were so sought after for their magical body parts. Learn something new every day.
@ Shiny Rod:
DMV? I’m in Canada, so there’s no DMV. To renew my license plate sticker every year I can go to an automated kiosk in the mall and never deal with another human. It’s wonderful!
I yelled at the 6 people in the cube-farm for not following instructions I have given them numerous times, which almost cost us tens of thousands of dollars.
My assistant hadn’t checked her voice mail since she got back from vacation on Monday and there were over 40 messages waiting, some of them urgent. She did however take personal calls, so I let her have it with both barrels.
The contractor was to have done work at a building 18 months ago and was fucking the dog about getting to it. Since it’s a proprietary system I couldn’t just use someone else, but I seriously lost my shit with him, his boss, and his boss’s boss, and the work is now done.
The government employee shut off the elevators in the above building due to a minor technical violation caused by the above contractor. He was just doing his job, but he was being a pedantic asshole about it.
After all of the above I decided it best not to deal directly with other people until I could guarantee I wouldn’t commit unimaginable acts of violence, so I turned off the phone.
About once a year everything here goes haywire in some massive shit-storm and I pop my cork. I rarely lose my temper so when I do it freaks people out. Things are back to normal….at least for now
Here are some stats I’d be interested:
1) lifetime pounds of food consumed (with a per diem breakout)
2) pounds of shit eliminated (where’d all that food go?!)
3) gallons of unincubated (I hope!) seed sewn
4) number of sexual partners (self not included)
5) dollars earned
6) dollars spent (where’d all that money come from?!)
I’m kinda like CBS… there was about an 8 year period, we’ll call it college, where everything’s a bit hazy and with some degree of regularity I’m reminded by friends of sexual conquests (sometimes public) long forgotten. I have no idea what my score score is.
@Tyrosine – Should I send you some of my calm boring-ness from my job?
I seriously have nothing to do, so I’m going through old files and accumulating a gigantic stack of stuff for my student worker to shred.
And hitting refresh every couple minutes to read the comments here.
YES! I got the Chinese man to say “upcoming erection”. My work for today is done. I’m off to get some beer. Maybe I’ll go to the spirit store to see if they have any of that Flying Dog that everyone keeps raving about.
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
@ Tyrosine – I thought that would bring it out. Now, don’t you feel better now that you have vented? The word DMV strikes at the heart of us mortal Americans. Something about those long lines waiting with kids screaming about as loud as the angry patrons. Especially when I walk in and get head of the line privileges.
@ Jason – Try the Snake Dog.
@ Adam – Same here, college, Navy, more college, divorce, more college, seems to be a recurring theme here, can’t put my finger on it. Well, maybe thats what the problem is.
If you’re only trying to put your finger ON it then that’s half the problem.
DMV!!!….around these here parts someone was shot at one. I had visited this fine establishment in the past myself..had sneaking suspicion the DMV had moved and this was now a homeless shelter?? seriously, how hard is it to wash your hair and run a bar of soap across your carcass before you leave the house??
Anyway. have a dim(yet angry) memory of trying to get a license after a divorce, and having to prove my birth, my previous marriage, my divorce..my previous license..I got the hairy eyeball the entire time as to the legality of my documents since they came from the great state of GEORGIA..ugh. for real. I am all for the mail system for license stickers.
good times!!
I was just listening to a guy on Clark Howard mention that he spent 140K to get his Masters. Yikes!!! But it was a good field, Acute Nurse Practitioner.
Let’s see, beers consumed, I think they are keeping track of that at the Flying Saucer. I don’t have a plate on the wall (200 beers consumed) like my friends but one day…
@Tyrosine – U hiring?
Picture Caption:
“And up here on the left you’ll see the newest attraction on Rt 66, Ye Olde Action Flaps”
I would like to know how much money I have NOT spent on alcohol and drugs since the great “give it up” experiment began 13 1/2 years ago. Why aren’t I rich now?
Also would like to see the statistics on how many times I have hit over 100 mph in my cars throughout time. Has to be in the 1000s.
Didn’t I read here that Harry O. and Danny Rose died? All I have seen when I have been in the resort town of Dunbar recently are minorities walking up the street. No more Harrys or Dannys. Made me a little sad.
Did yiou know- People are becoming disenchanted with the “Change you can believe in”?
On IPOD right now- “Lies, Lies, Lies”- Ministry
@ AngryWhiteGuy – But just think, someday you’ll be able take all that change and cash it in at the bank. ***NOT***
When you stop spending money on one thing, then another thing takes it place. No shit…
Now playing on the iPod – “Affair in San Miguel” – The Rippingtons
@ t-storm – and to your left folks is the grand canyon!
@SR – so true. when I work up North, I make tons of cash but nowhere to spend it (I’m not a big shopper anyways) then I head South and it’s burning a hole in pocket – just ’cause it’s there and I’ve been putting up with sh!t so need to reward myself somehow.
@AWG – sounds like your cash is going to gasoline?
1. Ratio of “times I was wrong in an argument” to “times I was right”.
2. Number of times I used “dumbass motherf–ker” as a descriptor, broken down into “to their face” and “behind their back”.
3. Number of times a man was thinking about sex with some other woman while with me vs. number of times a man was thinking about sex with me while with another woman. Just curious.
4. Actual sexual encounters vs. total potential sexual encounters that didn’t pan out, broken down by reason.
5. Ratio of “apologies given to someone who deserved one” to “apologies given to hypersensitive wusses”.
6. Number of times I swore I’d “never do that again” but did anyway.
7. $ spent on shit I was too lazy to do myself.
8. Times I should have opened my mouth vs. times I should have kept it shut.
@ NDfaninAZ,
I’d gladly take some clam off your hands. Would you care for some stress in return? Could be fun…
@Bryn – brilliant especially # 4, 6, 7 & 8.
@ Shiny Rod,
I’ve heard the DMV causes nightmares.
We have three choices when it comes to licenses and such. The kiosks work for simple forms and renewals. There are also privately run license centers where you can get new plates, get a new license, etc. These work great and I’ve never had to wait more than 10 minutes. Your third option is the government run centers. If you are testing you must go to one of these. Lets just say the first two options are better….
@ Shiny Rod: My last 12 months in school drained $60k out of the bank… but that was by far the most expensive of the 8ish years… not including illicit expenditures in previous years or the resulting medical & rehabilitative costs.
Oh those Canadians and there clams…Since I write all day, it is my dream job at the moment. Next year this time, maybe not so much. I’ll be looking for a big pay raise and a fellowship for my Masters. Glad I took that class on writing grants.
Now playing on the iPod – “Chasing the Dawn” – Peter White
mmmmm clams…..
I’d like to know the stats on how many times things would’ve worked out if people would’ve just listened to me! I’m all the time saying, “Nobody listens to me!” or “If they would’ve just listened to me…”
@ Leanne,
Not right now, but we might be. A couple of people are talking about leaving and business is actually really busy right now (thus the stress).
Did I mention I have a second installment posted on my blog, I know, how cheesy can I get. Brynhildr, you can’t look, might give you bad thoughts about me. All this writing is good for my adult ADD. Keeps my mind focused. Oh well, back to work for another 30 minutes or so.
@ Leanne – Now you know what goes good with clams! *** BEER and Jimmy Buffett…***
@ NDfaninAZ,
Calm…I’ll take calm. Clams to if you have them, but right now I need the calm more.
@Tyrosine – I was not serious at that note – U sound like an a$$ to work for
. But on a serious note I am looking for contracts. I am also a clam loving Cdn.
@SR – white wine & Pink or Daugtry are more my preference.
@ Tyrosine – Yeah, go ahead trash a good thought with calm. I was working a good hook up line with Leanne. Ooops, sorry, that was the sailor me coming out again. I hope nobodys keeping track of this?
Now playing on the iPod – “Hello, it’s me” – Todd Rundgren
@SR – I’ve observed your ways – I’m not that foolish.
@ Tyrosine
I’ll trade you some calm clams for the opportunity to yell at someone. I haven’t done that in a while.
Speaking of clams: How many different clams I’ve looked at while viewing a guys favorite photography subject.
No. of times fuck, shit, cunt and asshole have been uttered.
No. of people I wished dead.
Total number of puncture wounds & cuts recieved.
Miles walked.
No. of times going to Tim Hortons
Gallons of fuel used.
Amount of time spent at WFOT vs ‘regular’ driving.
Amount of sunflower seeds eaten.
@ Leanne – I put up a good front but I’m a gentleman most days.
Now playing on the iPod – “Boneyizm” – Boney James
@Alex, I frequently live in Vancouver and have seen people cross against lights so you can’t turn even though you have the right of way. One day I wished they were all run over – later on the traffic report I heard there were 3 pedestrian accidents. I think it was my fault for thinking that…..
@ Alex – That was one visual I did not need in my “weird shit file we look at file”. I think pumpkin seeds rate high on list.
Now playing on the iPod – “Midnight Express” – Neal Schon
everybody say happy birthday to my husband, joe the veterinarian.
he’s 75 today!
*****Happy 75th birthday Joe*****
Hey Joe – Happy 75th!!!!
I want to change my name on here how do you do that?
Just type the new name in the Name (required) box
Now playing on the iPod – “Mr Smooth” – Michael Franks
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday, dear Joe
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Joe! Congratulations.
Thx SR. ‘Duh’ on my part.
There. Here I am for now.
Happy Birthday Joe!
Happy Birthday Joe!
Also, Joe, my dog is a whore… are there any doggy STD’s running rampant? She ran away Saturday afternoon and came back covered in what appeared to be doggy love-juice and horse shit. Which leads me to my second question… she is obsessed with shit, which I understand is quite trendy with dogs these days, and I was wondering if this poses any potential health risks? I can’t take her to the ranch without her running straight for the nearest horse turd and literally diving in. She wallows around in it and then runs to the next one. By the time she comes back what was a black and white collie mix is now a smelly brown tramp. Should I be worried about worms or something?
Not if you don’t pet the dog and wipe your mouth.
@Adam, Not sure about the health risk but had a friend’s G Retriever crazy about rolling in cowpies and eating goose poo….
Maybe
Joe can answer.
Naming a female dog Joe is a great way to make her a slut. Believe me. I had a female dog named Ralph and she’d fuck everything she could get, including a rooster. And remember Lassie? Lassie was a boy. And he was always fucking Timmy and Mister Ed.
Isn’t shitty dog part of the flying dog beer lineup? I searched for flying dog earlier but was forced to come home with Land Shark, Yungling, and Rolling Rock. Now I’m obsessed. I gotta get my hands on that shitty dog.
Adam – Two words, Caesar Milan
My dog’s name is Deuce… perhaps that explains her facination with shit.
Oh Adam, for fucksake. If your dog’s name is Deuce you’re in trouble. But only if you have a Mexican dog. Otherwise, she/he won’t know the difference. Get with the program, dude. I was giving you great advice, free of charge. Who the hell is Joe?
You still live near the Brazos?
No, poop is like Chanel #5 to dogs. Does she have flea collar on? Sometimes, dogs don’t like the smell of a flea collar and will roll to mask the smell. Also, use a neutral scent shampoo when you bathe her. I also have female dog. Her name is Ginger but I also call her pup when I reference her in my blogs.
Oh, I see. You were talking to Joe. Not saying that your dog’s name was Joe. It was unclear. Sorry.
Yeah, I was talking to Joe the vet. And yes, the Brazos is right out my door. My house is in China Spring. That probably makes sense to nobody other than Jason.
Jesus Crow, I’m homesick. I know about where you’re talking about. Homes in China Spring have become expensive. I looked for a second home last year. Not happening at those prices.
Secrets about women all men should know:
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome” that will bring on a “whatever”).
(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying FUCK YOU! Unless of course she says Fuck You which of course means the same as whatever.
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
What, the Brazos or China Spring? I use to live in Houston and Brenham Tx, been through Waco way too many times.
I’m thinking about putting mine on the market this year. It’s tiny, though… 3/2/2 and 1650 sf. China Spring is the new place to live if you prefer to have your child survive high school and/or go to college. The nice thing is I’m on a canyon and only have nature off my deck and the river at the end of my street.
Waco is shit as a go through. But places like China Spring are beautiful. Only the absurdly rich, such as Adam, can live there. The Brazos is a decent sized river that ends up running through the middle of Waco – but not before it goes through China Spring.
Adam,
You let me know, somehow, if you decide to sell. That sounds like something I would like. If you keep going straight and cross Lake Air Drive do you pass MCC? I think I know where you are.
I have family in Dallas and in Austin and San Antonio so I would take 35 or pick up 6 out of Waco to Navasota, then to Brenham or Houston. Won’t do 6 a night though, to many wackos out there with guns.
Y’all are both right… but at 28 I’ve yet to reach super-rich, and it’s nowhere in sight. As a matter of fact, Jason, I work at Lake Air and Bosque in the BofA building and my sister used to live on Lake Air and Hillcrest before moving out to China Spring. I’m probaly 10-12 minutes from MCC where you lived back in college. I lived in Rivercrest by the Golden Nipple after I moved out of the late Brooks Hall.
And SR,I was just in Brenham at one of the family ranches earlier this summer.
I like Tx but it is just to hot for me, I like being two hours from the mountains or the beach. I was looking at property that listed at 325K that they dropped to 275 but they took it off the market before I decided to make a bid on it. 3500sf with an in-ground pool and backed up to a 3 acre wooded common area. Now its just sitting there empty.
Adam – My grandfather had a 5 acre ranch north of Brenham, we use to go down to the creek and fish for crappie when we spent the summer with him.
Joe! Happy birthday!
Oh, Jason, I have a girl dog with a boy name. Her name is Bob. Could I get you to offer more advice? She’s not a slut and she doesn’t roll in shit, but she sure loves to eat it. Oh, she loves many kinds of poo, including her own, but cat poo seems to be her favorite. Sometimes she walks into the living room all nonchalant and whatnot, but she will have that telltale piece of kitty litter on the tip of her nose. So, Jason, any words of wisdom? Thanks in advance for your anticipated cooperation.
Good Evening Surf Reporters……..
A lifetime statistic that I’d be proud to have..?..
Never ONCE died having fun
White Trash Barbie,
Okay. I’ll help you. First, you left last night (early this morning) without taking all of your stuff. Okay? But I’ll keep it for you baby. I mean really, what am I going to do with a Captain’s hat and a jar of Vick’s? But I’ve got it. Come on back and I’ll be nice. I promise.
So now, about the dog. Well, you need to explain to “Bob” that she’s dyslexic. I can guide you through it but I think you might be mad at me. Don’t be. I’m in love with you. So anyway, you tell “Bob” that her name has always been “Bob” but she spells it backwards. I think that’ll clean things up.
Wow. I’m fucking awesome.
I hear that a Littermaid may help at least with the cat litter. I had to give Ginger some tablets I got a PetSmart. Clapping or a loud noise when you see them attempting to eat poop also helps stop the behavior but be careful they are not looking for a place to pee.
Sorry to say both Harry and Puh are gone, man the stories I could share about Jeff’s Dad and our histronics at the fire house…funny times.
Frankly, I don’t give a shit what the aliens think. I just wish they would take some of that cartel money and rent a bigger house. And the whole neighborhood smells of Chipotle peppers.
Jason, you ARE awesome. LMAO. Keep the Vick’s baby, ya gotta grease Weezer.
@SR – We actually have sequestered the litter box. Nothing else would keep her out of it. For a while, when I would take her outside, she would find a spot and get in the pooping position, but she was actually eating found poop. I caught onto this tactic when I realized that she doesn’t smack her lips when she is just pooping.
@ Brynhildr – re: stats list – Outstanding!
Oh you two are strange. I think Brynhildr is getting her HWH replaced. I heard the plumbers laughing all the way to North Carolina.
WTB – So tell us about the festival, spare no details.
White Trash Barbie,
You’re a good sport. It’s damn near ten three oh where I’m at, and I can’t hang with the cool kids anymore. I mean really, I can’t. I’m not even 35 yet but I feel worn out. So I’m gonna hit the sack.
But hey, the great thing about Jeff Kay (sometimes) is that he makes a new post and we can forget all the nonsense from the night before.
Hey, did I tell yall that Charlie (my cousin from Texas) stopped by tonight? He was expected but he brought me some Flying Dog beer – which was unexpected – from wherever. Love him. Only thing is it’s tiny bottles. I’m not a fan. You have to drink like 20 of those to catch up to normal, or whatever. And the wheat thing? Fuck that. Nasty.
Me too… A liter of Tito’s and I’m ready to hit the sack.
Younglings, but I need to be up at 6:30 so chow for now.
Interesting that the further evidence link also contains a story about the guy from WV arrested for having sex with a dog. Coincidence? I think not.
@ Shiny Rod – Nine Words Women Use – simply excellent. Shoulda saved it for the new blog.
Who the hell is Joe? Whatever, Merry Birthday Joe.
75 is quite an accomplishment…
@ Taiwan On – Somethings need to be shared in an open forum but that would have worked too.
Vicki- Thanks for asking.
I’m currently getting my ass kicked in nursing school and it’s sucking the lift out of me.
I still check in every day, but I usually don’t have time or energy to comment.
I graduate in December and hopefully will be back to my old self by about mid-November.
Vicki- Thanks for asking.
I’m currently getting my ass kicked in nursing school and it’s sucking the life out of me.
I still check in every day, but I usually don’t have time or energy to comment.
I graduate in December and hopefully will be back to my old self by about mid-November.
“Yo Quiero Taco Bell” Gidget the Chihuahua will no longer be gracing the air waves with that familiar phrase. The 15 year old dog reportedly died of a stroke but family members are hinting that foul play may have been the cause of death. Gidget was frequently being seen by a Texas veterinarian who was prescibing her with pain medication. Texas officials are investigating the veterinarian. Mexican officials state that the whole country is in mouning over the loss of their beloved star. One officials stated, “This is much bigger than the loss of Ricadro Montalan. We are really going to miss her.” Family members are requesting she be layed to rest at Gidget’s Chihuahua Land Ranch in Beverly Hills. Ceasar Milan, noted dog whisperer, good friend and trainer of Gidget is excepted to offer the eulogy at her memorial service. Al Sharpton and members of PETA are also slated to speak.
Your Surf Reporter Shiny Rod reporting…
@ Jorge – Congratulations on your efforts so far. Its almost over. Hang in there, I won’t graduate until next June and then I am going for my Masters so two more years.
WTB – Good luck to you on weaning your dog from the poopsicles. We’ve barricaded the inside litter boxes so the big Jak can’t get to them anymore but she’ll scoop up any at all she can find outside. Before we figured out why there was rarely any cat shit in the litter boxes (we have two) she used to sleep next to them. We thought she just liked the area. Now we know she was waiting on deposits.
Movie theaters…yea the walking around is a pain but when people put thier dirty nasty stinking feet on your chair, yuk!! Not just on the back of the chair where they are constantly pushing on you, but when they take thier shoes off and put it on the side of the chair so the feet are right in your face.
What the hell is wrong with prople? And taking your shoes off in a public place that’s not a beach or pool? Seriously! Ever heard of diseases?
Yes I am from WV, and yes we do wear shoes, most of the time!
Sorry guys, posted comments on the wrong ass day…..must be the meds! Surgery today and I’m still “stoned”.
Jeff dont’ you dare say a word, I grew up with you, LOL!!
@ Vicki – LMAO!
Your welcome for the link to Nurse the Hate. Having read you for so long, I hoped I’d be correct in eyeing a nice addition to your web addiction. Thanks also for the bribe, it helps me feel like the public offical I’ve always longed to be.
Jeff – had you linked “Nurse The Hate” before? Because, I’ve been reading it for a couple months, now, and I found it through a link somewhere, but don’t remember where. Much like the WVSR, when I first read the linked article, I enjoyed it so much, I ended up going to the beginning, and reading everything, all the way to current. The only difference is, I found the Surf Report while searching Google for the orogin of the phrase “Rule of Thumb”, and you had only been writing the site for a couple years. And, the WVSR helped me realize how much I disliked my co-workers in the IT department at the time. I sent them all a link to the site, and none of them “got it.” Bunch of douchetards.
You’re right about Greg – his site is perfect for readers here. Different in many ways, but like you, and us, he seems to be in on the joke that is life.
Yeah Jeff, I linked to it once before. The guy is good, really good.