The Lighter Side of Deadly Food Allergies
I was talking to a guy at work a few days ago, and he told me he’s allergic to sweet potatoes. No, he didn’t just blurt this information out during a conversation about football or the final season of LOST; I think we were killing time on a semi-related subject at the time.
But isn’t that kind of strange? Have you ever heard of a person being allergic to something from the tater family? I haven’t.
And it got me to thinking about food allergies… It seems like everybody’s allergic to some sort of food, and I’m feeling a bit left-out. I got nothing on the subject. As far as I know, I’m not allergic to any foods whatsoever; there are no speed bumps on my personal road to eating until I black-out.
Because of this good fortune, it’s very easy to be cynical. Ya know? A few years back, when peanut allergies became all the rage, I’d instinctively roll my eyes and make a dismissive pfff sound with my mouth. Peanut allergies… what a heaping load.
Indeed, I used to listen to a radio show when we lived in California, hosted by a man who felt the same way I did. He’d start yelling, “Show me the bodies! Show me the bodies!!” whenever the subject was raised, which seemed to be about once a week. And the callers would almost lose their minds with outrage… Heh.
But I’ve met some reasonable people along the way, whose kids have nearly died because of the peanut allergy. So, I’ve softened my stance on the subject. I don’t believe the blubbering ball-babies on TV, but I do believe reasonable people I know in real life.
It can be taken too far, though. There was a woman at our elementary school (High Neck), the mother of a kid with peanut trouble, who was a full-on zealot. Toney saw her almost throw her body on a bag of chips one day, as if it were a live grenade, because it was supposedly packaged in a factory where peanuts aren’t kept inside an airtight vault, or whatever.
So, that’s pretty irritating. But, to be fair… if it were my kid, I might be a gigantic pain in the ass, too. ‘Cause that stuff is scary. I know a guy whose daughter almost died because she smelled Febreze inside somebody’s house(?!), and his description of what happened made me squirm.
The girl’s windpipe sealed-off like a submarine, almost instantaneously. And that’s no good, when a person goes submarine like that. I know I’d also try to make sure that didn’t happen again. Right?
In any case, I’m only allergic to cats and get hay fever (or whatever) a few weeks later than most people. It’s true. When the grass starts growing in the spring, and the flowers start blooming, everybody’s sneezing and gagging and snotting-it-up. But I’m fine, until about a month later when I become a delayed basket-case.
Beyond that, I have nothing to share. I’ve never had food poisoning, either. Not once, despite the many, many restaurant meals I’ve enjoyed. Toney got really sick from shrimp when we lived in California, but I don’t eat the crustaceans, so that probably helps…
Starbucks coffee and orange soda instantly make my poop-muscles flex, but that’s not really food poisoning, is it? That’s just a hyper-acceleration of natural events.
So, what about you? Are you allergic to any foods? Or anything at all, for that matter? Do you know a person who’s allergic to something bizarre or unusual? Tell us about it, won’t you? And if you’ve got any good stories about food poisoning, that would be cool, too. Use the comments link below.
And I’ll be back tomorrow.
Have a great day, boys and girls!
Filed under: Daily
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters!!
Can it be?
Food poisoning once. I ate some tamales that had been in the fridge. Apparently a little too long. We flew to Chicago that night. I started puking in the trash can at Alamo Rent-A-Car, and continued to blow it out both ends for two days. Worst vacation ever.
Welcome to Monday, Surf Reporters!
3 – and my Colts are going to the super bowl!! yeah baby!!
I’m not allergic to any foods that I know of. I’m allergic to practically anything with fur. I’m also allergic to a plethora of the plants and such that are constantly blooming in Arizona. Claritin helps a lot with that.
I’ve had food poisoning more times than I’d like to recall. The biggest culprit is Chinese buffets. You’d think I’d learn….
I am allergic to the gayest thing ever. Dill. As in Dill Weed. A stupid fricking spice makes my throat close up and feels like I’ve swallowed broken glass. As for food poisoning, oh hell yeah…There was the BLT in Puerto Rico, the chicken sandwich at Tamarak in WV, the crabs in Baltimore and the salad of doom from Trader Joe’s. I am so pathetic.
Budweiser gives me the shits.
Not allergic to any foods that I’m aware of. But morphine makes me itch. (I found that out a few years ago when I broke my ankle.)
top ten?
I am allergic to apples, strawberries, walnuts, pecans and cashews. I ate all of these as a child, with absolutely no problems whatsoever, but over the years, have had the “Febreze” reaction that Jeff noted. So, apparently, as I get older, my body has decided to go and become allergic to various foods…go figure.
so close….Jeff – a big thank you for all the writin’s you do… always enjoyable.
Please keep your cat away from me especially if he has been smoking mold infested grass (the lawn type) unless you want to see me turn in to a big red itchy welt… I’m not kidding, keep it away guys… I took allergy shots for about two years – I’m no longer allergic to horses which is great since I live and work in a thriving metropolis.
I think I may have an allergy to significant amounts of caffeine. I’ve cut out coffee and tea for the past week and I’ve either found something I’m allergic to or I’ve cured ass cancer. I’m a good ol’ regular guy again.
Why is it the same symptoms for Colitis, colon cancer, gluten intolerance, egg allergy and milk allergy? Vice like cramps and assplosions that remind me of Mentos in diet Coke?
I WISH I was allergic to sweet potoatoes. I FUCKING HATE sweet potatoes. But now I’m going to TELL EVERYONE I’m allergic to sweet potatoes so they can’t say “Oh, you’ve never had them the way I fix them – you’ll love ‘em!” which, so far in my 47.5 years, has not been true.
I don’t think I’m allergic to anything. I used to think I was allergic to codeine because it makes me all speedy instead of sleepy, but I’ve been told recently that that is not an allergic reaction – it’s just the way I’m made.
Happy Monday, Surfers!
I too was not allergic to any foods until recently, when I was partaking in some vegetables at home. We had Snap Peas & I was using them as you should; a food-spoon for massive amounts of Ranch Dressing.
I thought I felt funny right after eating one, but ignored it. About 10 later my boyfriend said, ‘Are you ok?’ and I asked him why. Turns out my skin was turning red. 10 minutes later my eyes were swollen & my lips felt like they were bursting. Bursting or I was doing a darn good impersonation of Melanie Griffith leaving the doctor’s office.
Anyhoo, I took Benadryl & the next day things started clearing up. But to test if I was allergic to the Ranch suddenly, my boyfriend had me try a bit. Nope, I was fine. Next came a raw Snap-Pea, from a new batch he had bought that day to test it out. Sure enough, one in and I felt my skin itching and it started changing color. I had one more & Melanie Griffith came creeping back.
The next day I went to the doctor where they performed an “allergy test” & I tested positive for an allergy to raw legumes. How bizzare is that?! I’ve eaten foods my whole life & all of a sudden I gain an adult-onset allergy to raw legumes.
I give full permission to you all to kick my pansy-ass raw legume allergy. Go ahead, it deserves it.
Now Playing on iPhone: “Criminal” by Fiona Apple
I’ve reacted to shrimp a couple of times, but it’s not a regular thing and it’s not very interesting- just a hive or two.
It didn’t happen until I was thirty-three and pregnant with my third child, but I am now allergic to eggs. I’m OK with eggs as an ingredient (like in cake or whatnot), but I can’t eat them on their own. It makes breakfast/brunch much less satisfying.
I have a few drug allergies that turn me in to the Michelin man with itchy red legs. Ceclor and Penicillin not fun… getting the infection in the first place? priceless
I once spent 28 hours in the bathroom of a Croatian bus spewing from both ends due to bad fish. I also watched the movie “Clerks” the night before, so that could be it too.
It’s a strange thing, but I’m allergic to almonds, and only almonds. Every other kind of nut is fine , matter of fact pistachios are my favorite. But crunch into an almond, the lips start to swell, tongue too, etc. etc.
My one son is deadly allergic to any type of shellfish. We found the hard way one night after I had made jambalya with shrimp.
The wife has a gluten allergy. Buying products that are gluten free can really raise the grocery bill.
Lastly, one of my secretaries has an allergy to eggs. She can’t have any type of food that has egg as an ingredient. I imagine that must be a real bitch.
i know people that are truely allergic to foods and i still think they’re pussies.
MAN UP AND EAT A FUCKING PEANUT!!#@!@
i had a friend who’s brother was “systemicaly allergic” to peanuts. but i tricked his ass and made him eat a PB&J. he had no ill effects until DAAAYS later when he was blubbering about how he couldn’t eat any of the thai fakeout we were eating and i told him.
he INSTANTLY fell down and “couldn’t breathe”….
fucktard.
Swami- getting itchy from morphine is a pretty common side effect. Most times docs who order it also order benadryl as needed so as soon as you tell your nurse you’re itchy they’ll get it for you.
And speaking of nurses (how’s that for a segue), I need a job as a nurse. Anyone out there in a position to hire one with exactly my skills and experience?
Now on to today’s update.
I might be a little sensitive to something that blooms around springtime, but no, no allergies.
My wife is allergic to a few things- I know cockroaches for sure (she recently had an allergy test) and The Peanut got tested for a few common things and was not bothered by any of them (we enrolled her in an allergy/asthma study before she was born and the screening was part of the study).
My wife has been poisoned with I think amoebas when she was in the Peace Corps. The story is pretty gross and kinda of funny.
I haven’t had shellfish-style food poisoning, but both times I’ve eaten at the convention center in Atlanta bad thngs have happened. The “hot” wing sauce at BW3 used to cause me almost instantaneous (within 15 minutes of ingestion) distress but that seems to have stopped now.
Other than that I’m pretty sure you could eat a light bulb.
ok 5 but whatever.
i am allergic to EVERYTHING airbourne. cats trees mold mildew grass pollen ragweed- thank God i have no food allergies.
Itoo have never had food poisoning. unless
Unless I am drunk or pregnant I do not throw up. i guess that makes up for the constant watery eyes and runny nose.
I mean that I”m pretty sure I could eat a light bulb.
Please don’t try and eat a light bulb.
Trish-You said dillweed (insert Beavis laugh here)
I’m not allergic to anything plant, medicinal or animal. My dad however is allergic to Ibuprofin and has about 15-20 minutes to live if he takes one. He tested the time limit a few years ago on a trip to Savannah, GA. Dad, mom, my dad’s sister and her husband were walking around downtown when dad came down with a headache. He asked if anyone had any aspirin to which his sister answered yes. He asked her to make sure they were aspirin and informed her he was allergic to ibuprofen, she replied that yes they were aspirin. Shortly after he took two his throat started to close up. Luckily her husband is a doctor and ran to find a pharmacy which he located in fairly short order and returned with Benydril and all turned out well. Dad doesn’t bum aspirin off people any longer.
We have a professor who is allergic to all kinds of shit. Our favorite is the orange allergy… every time we try to have a departmental potluck or whatever he has to stop everything and shout on the rooftops “Did anybody bring anything with oranges in it? If any of these foods have oranges or orange juice or any trace of orange, I need to know!” And we all roll our eyes. Rumor has it that the dreaded symptom of his allergy is canker sores. He raises all hell because he would get canker sores. Seriously. We have another professor who does have a very serious allergy to walnuts, but she just looks at the stuff on the table, identifies dishes that might contain walnuts, figures out who brought them and quietly asks if there are walnuts. Guess which prof we like better?
I once spent 28 hours in the bathroom of a Croatian bus.
There has to be a really good story attached to that. I’m not allergic to anything that I know of…altho pepperoni makes my heart pound like a drum solo.
No food or medicine allergies at all, but apparently, this late in life, I have developed some sort of allergy to any detergents or laundy products with “scent” in them.
I had some sort of rash from my armpits to my waist several months back, and couldn’t clear it up with any kind of medication. I went to the doctor and he asked me if my wife had used a new detergent, or I used new soap or anything along that line. I asked the Child Bride and she said she didn’t. However, after a couple of weeks of suffering, I got her to admit that she did. She now washes my stuff in pure liquids, with no smells.
Yeah, I just read that. You’re right, it was fucking boring, but it answered the question.
On IPOD right now- “Gangsters”- the Specials
@Melissa– Fiona Apple? Wasn’t she in “Shrek”?
I’m allergic to beans. It really sucks because I miss out on a lot of good soups. I also found out soft shelled crabs make my eyes bulge. I’ve limited my shellfish intake. I’d arther pass on these foods then die from a plug of scallop in my trachea.
@ Melissa: Bursting or I was doing a darn good impersonation of Melanie Griffith leaving the doctor’s office LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have an acute allergy to work, daily. Bad moods, blurt out obsenities and thrashing about. Its ugly.
Besides that, I have seasonal allergies that just developed a few years ago. Feels like a cold coming on that needs to shit or get off the pot. Allergy meds usually do the trick. Also, I have a “sensitivity” to the iodine in shrimp. Makes my hands and feet swell. Still eat them though, but not often.
I have a client that is allergic to bubblegum. Even if she just smells it she gets a coldsore. Weird.
Only penicillin, as far as I know. Found that out several years ago after taking it for 3 or 4 days and I had so many swollen up welps on my arms, I looked like a midget body builder. Doc told me that if I’d have taken it another day or two, I probably would have died in my sleep. I told him, that’s the way I’d prefer it.
I used to be absurdly allergic to insect stings and poison ivy. I remember once as a kid I got the poison ivy on my penis because I took a piss outside and the wind wafted it by. No kidding. I had to go to the doctor and get a catheter because my willy was so swollen I couldn’t piss.
Another time a wasp nest fell down the back of my shirt and I got stung several times. I had to go to the hospital and the doctor said that if I ever got stung on the throat I’d probably die because the swelling would make it impossible for me to breath and I wouldn’t be able to make it into the hospital in time. Nice thing to tell a 12 year old boy. I didn’t go outdoors for a while after that. I started Junior High looking like that kid from that movie “Powder”, or whatever.
My mother in law’s throat swells shut if she eats anything with bananas in it. I’ve never heard of that happening to anyone else.
Several of my friends are convinced that they are intolerant of gluten. Bullshit. It’s very rare. But they don’t care. They drink seaweed shakes and eat cardboard bread and claim to feel better.
Oh, I have no food allergies. Or if I do I don’t know it.
I’m very allergic to assrabbits
I was alergic to pot as a teenager; it made my eyes red as hell!
While on the road in the old days I ate Red Snapper (fish) in Greenwood Miss. and wanted to puke for 3 days but never did. On stage I had a bucket behind my amp just in case. Imagine yelling Bob Seger’s “Old time Rock-n-Roll” while on the verge of a full-on spew. It was no fun at all.
I’m also allergic to people who have a problem with my fucking attitude.
No real allergies at this point… I had mild peanut and chocolate allergies in my late teens, but I think they’ve gone away by now. However, since I didn’t eat them for several years, I’ve just continued to not eat them since then.
Especially with the chocolate, it helps with my diet anyway. I still don’t ever buy anything chocolate at the grocery store. And if people bring something chocolate to work, I just say I have a chocolate allergy.
Of course, often times that just leads to one of my most despised pet peeves… I say I have a chocolate allergy, and someone (generally female) says, “That’s terrible! I would die if I couldn’t eat chocolate!!!” WOULD YOU REALLY DIE BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T EAT CHOCOLATE? OR WOULD YOU JUST LOSE THAT SPARE TIRE AROUND THE MID-SECTION? BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT YOU JUST WOULDN’T BE AS FAT. (I only think this)
So to summarize… if someone ever tells you they have a chocolate allergy, don’t tell them that you would die without chocolate. Unless you’re in flawless physical shape, they’re probably looking at you and thinking, “Of course this fatty thinks he/she can’t live without chocolate.” Instead, when you hear that someone has a chocolate allergy, just say OK.
Sorry, I’m done ranting.
Allergy, smallergy you’re all just a bunch of assrabbits!
Did I use assrabbits properly Jason? Of course I don’t mean that I just needed to use assrabbit.
I’m not allergic to any kind of food or medication. I am, however, terribly allergic to bills of any kind. Whenever I receive a bill, I break out into a cold sweat and I feel faint. The room spins and my chest gets tight. Beer, vodka, bourbon or wine are the only things that help.
hot fuzz – I have that problem too!
Other than that the only food issue I have is with milk. Any amount of it that is isn’t lactose free will send me into the throne of assplotions and a green cloud of shame for a day or two.
Oh and an allergic reaction to women with hazel eyes and freckles, I just go all gaga. Just one of those weird things in nature I guess.
I’m allergic to penicillin, but I don’t get a super bad reaction, just hives.
My doctor, just because I had an upset stomach once, has me listed as being allergic to analapril.
I’ve never had food poisoning that I’m aware of.
I had a reaction to Viagra… it made me all swollen and red
I’m allergic to naked 18-year-old females. Whenever I see one, it causes my weiner to swell up to about triple its normal size. The allergy is so strong, that sometimes just thinking about a naked 18-year-old, or seeing a picture of one, causes the reaction. Does anyone else have this allergy? If so, do you have any suggestions for treating it?
I have allergies to “environmental allergens”: cats, dogs, mold, dust, pollen, etc.. etc. All in all there’s about 50 things on the list, but cats, dogs, and pollen account of 99% of it.
Most people who claim to have food allergies don’t. Lactose intolerance is the most common food related ailment misattributed to allergies. For the record lactose intolerance is a failure to digest the sugar lactose, there’s no allergic response involved. The “symptoms” (cramps, etc.) are a result of intestinal bacteria digesting the free lactose.
Coeliac disease is another condition misattributed as a food allergy, however in this case there is an immune response to gluten, so the difference is somewhat academic.
True food allergies are on the rise, that’s why we never heard of anaphylactic shock 30 years ago. There’s lots of speculation as why and it’s become quite political: The Left blames food additives and vaccines; the Right blames moral decay and no prayer in public schools. Neither side has any evidence to support their claims (and by evidence I mean peer-reviewed evidence, not some “old world” wisdom passed down through the family by your great aunt Zelda in Wallachia), so it’s all up in the air as it stands now.
Several companies are working hard to engineer a peanut that does not elicit an allergic response. You can expect this little gem to be worth roughly $1,000,000,000 U.S. if it’s ever found. The main stumbling block it that while it’s easy to add genes to plants, it’s a bitch to remove them. If memory serves they need to remove at least three genes from peanut to eliminate the risk of allergies.
Beware the FrankenPeanuts
Oh yeah…Budweiser and any draft beer will make my ass explode like a shaken champagne bottle. Is that an allergy?
hot fuzz: Is that red and swollen “all over” or just the part that’s ’sposed to swell?
Thank the good Lord that I am not allergic to gin, vodka, whiskey, bourbon, scotch, any flavor of schnapps, jagermiester, beer, or anything distilled.
I am however allergic to getting up and going to work!
TYROSINE – ARE YOU SURE YOU AND WHITE TRASH BARBIE ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON???
actually that was pretty interedsting.
Tammie- i have EXACTLY the same reaction to bills. So I refuse to handle them. Its just not safe.
Seems to me that white, middle class, NPR listening parents frequently have children with all sorts of allergies and special requirements… I wonder why that might be. You don’t hear of many lactose intolerant starving Ethanopians asking for a gluten free UN food parcel do you?
If your child is going to die if they sniff a Snickers wrapper the onus is on YOU to keep your child away from Snickers wrappers, not keep Snickers away from everyone else.
I have no allergies. I got food poisoning at Emeril’s.
Bikerchick – the rest of me was completely covered in black stretchy latex so I couldn’t really tell. Fortunately, the generous application of a soothing balm resolved both conditions on the exposed part.
I once had food poisoning that hit hardest when I was driving home… I must have changed lanes a few times based on honking horns – it was hard to tell since I was completely bent over below the dashboard, eye’s squeezed closed and gripping my stomach (sort of like the Alien coming out of my chest,… in this case through my belly)… first I thought I was going to die… then I was afraid I was going to live…
I’ve been married 3 times. My 1st wife died from eating peanuts. Ironically my 2nd wife also died from eating peanuts. My 3rd wife died from a concussion….she would not eat the peanuts!
Jeff–you have a classic symptom of food allergy–assplosions . My wife is very allergic to food dyes-especially red and yellow dyes (think orange soda ).and that stuff is in everything from foods to prescription medicines.See an allergist .
I had an allergic reaction to mustard flavored pretzels. that’s probably it.
My achillies tendons were damaged from taking Levaquin, an antibiotic.
I am Definately allergic to kids who are allergic to peanuts!! I live on planes I don’t want pretzels with my drink ! I want peanuts! If junior cant get through life because of a peanut do the honourable thing and put him out of his misery with a pb&J sammich! cull the herd dammit
(Thank you ladies & Gentlemen, Enjoy the rest of your flight!)
TILLY- YES, I’M QUITE SURE WHITE TRASH BARBIE AND I ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON!!!
Why do you ask?
@Trish next time you are in Baltimore date someone else;)
Jason if my Mother in law was allergic to Bananas I would take her to Mountain top in St Thomas next time i was on vacation!
Pagan, I had to go back and look for your reference to Trish and Baltimore. That’s fucking funny!
Add me to the list of those allergic to cats. Both physically and philosophically. I’ll stop there so as not to become a target of cat lovers.
I’m also allergic to food. Although I don’t follow the “Jeff Kay Diet” (how in the hell can he eat so much bad food and live to tell about it?), the food that I do eat makes my stomach swell and my ass grow. Go figure.
shinywilly…pass the beer nuts….and the hammer!
I almost died at 5 days old….parents took me back to the hospital and found out I had allergies out the wazoo….food and environmental. The big one was cow’s milk…back in the ’50s when no self respecting woman breastfed and all used formula. So I got put on goat’s milk….very expensive back then. All went fine for about 5 months and then I developed an allergy to that. I ended up my bottle fed days on soy milk. I’ll prolly die from some estrogen related cancer but hey, we all gotta go somehow, right?
I took allergy shots every 2 weeks until I hit 18. I’ve been ok with some things as my body bulit up an immunity or something.
Except when preggo with #3 kid. We heated with a woodstove and lived in the middle of a forest in the Poconos. Got deathly ill in my 7th month, ENT dr and allergy panels later, I had developed an allergy to TREES.
All parts of them. No more burning wood for heat and had to move out of the forest.
I have since developed an allergy to teenagers after overexposure to those. Wish I could get rid of those….lolol
i had monster bad allergies (all plants and any animal with fur) when i was younger, but happily i’ve grown out of a lot of them. they really made my life miserable.
i did develop an allergy to anti-perspirant about 10 years ago, which really really sucks. it’s a pain in the ass to find a good deodorant without anti-perspirant (aluminum/zinc) in it. i refuse to go without it, but an armpit full of hives is pretty much the definition of misery.
i have no food allergies, but recently developed an intolerance to grapes and melons. not a histamine thing, but unpleasant ass-related things happen if i eat them. sucks, because there are not a lot of fruits i like, and limits my list of fruit i am willing to eat by half.
“Starbucks coffee and orange soda instantly make my poop-muscles flex,” It’s just the price Jeff just the price!
No food, plant, environmental or medicinal allergies here I’m the lucky one in the family, which leads me to believe that my mother is lying about who my real father is since all my siblings are afflicted in one way or another. I look just like my mother, so there’s no denying she birthed me. My father on the other hand…. I digress.
My older sister developed a Latex allergy in adulthood. She had no idea until she got divorced and started “dating” again. She found out about the allergy the hard way when the swelling, burning and itching of her lady parts sent her to the ER one night — despite the massive antihistamines she was already taking for her other allergies. We can laugh about this now, but for a while, the humiliation was too intense.
Mom has a sulfite allergy that prohibits her from taking certain meds and more importantly, from drinking wine. Foods with sulfites don’t bother her too much.
I’ve been poisoned 3 times: a falafel in Israel during what felt like an eternal bus tour; chicken from KFC (the reason I can’t bring myself to eat there anymore); and some sausage pigs-in-a-blanket-type food at a local brew pub. It is always terrible to have to figure out which spewing hole takes precedence. Usually, it means sitting on the toilet with your face in a garbage can for hours on end. “Fuck off. Just leave me here to die! There is nothing you can do to help.” I’m a bad, bad patient.
No allergies, but my father had a near fatal reaction to aleve. For real. In the past, Aleve has always made me feel like vomiting, so I don’t use this medication as I would like to outlive my headaches. My kids have allergies up the wazoo…soy is one. My husband farms and my poor little boy can’t even be near the combines and dust in the fall. Kinda sad. My other kid..penicillin. All three have horrible eczema that is milk based…we are tons of fun, but I am not neurotic. I just prefer you don’t run him thru a field of soybeans for fun, thank you very much.
LMAO! You guys are on your game today.
I used to be very allergic to poison ivy like Jason – even the pollen would get me just never where his did. My son, on the other hand, went camping once and had a full blown outbreak on his willy AND his face.
I didn’t ask too many questions.
Oh yes, I am intolerate of lactose, assholes and whiners.
Does that count?
I once worked with a woman who was allergic to chocolate and while that is not so unusual; she loved chocolate. So about once a month on a Friday night she would dose up on Benadryl and eat chocolate then spend the weekend indoors recovering from the hives.
Food poisoning: New Orleans 2004 first meal I eat in the city has me in the bathroom curled up in a ball for 1 1/2 days. No swamp tour, no hurricanes [the drink], no creole, no cajun, no oysters, just flat soda and crackers.
On the second leg of my flight home I meet a fellow Philadelphian, ate at the same restaurant 10 years earlier while on her honeymoon with the exact same results
I used to be very intolerant of citric acid. I ate 4 tomatoes out of my grandpa’s garden and broke out in the worst case of hives EVER. Ate too many strawberries and projectile vomitted all over the house,after a buffett on Mother’s Day. Poor Mom. Luckily, that stopped when I got older.
Now just cedar, it sucked living in Texas. But only for that reason. 2 months out of the year my vocal chords would swell to the point of me having no voice. Maybe that made it up to my Mom a little.
I had allergies as a kid. Peach fuzz or sleeping with a feather pillow was a death sentencse. Cats were something that could actually kill me too. But I could survive although it usually involved ice cubes and a pagan ritual to secure my survival.
I now fear nothing and welcome death’s challenge.
Awwww. FUCK…I just spiled my wine….
The Christmas tree makes me sneeze like a bastard. All the dust and mold on the tree comes into the house, and I’m a wreck.
Anything with a strong fragrance: perfumes, Febreze, Downy Wrinkle Releaser just kills me.
I’m allergic to “meet”.
WB in OH,
That was perfect! Thank you so much for advancing the cause.
To whom it may concern:
when it comes to bills I put everything into a basket. Whoever gets chosen gets paid. Must be present to win. I’ve explained this to debt collectors for years. I always say, “fuck you. I don’t make the rules-I just live by them.
White castle, need I say more?
After knee surgery, I found out (quickly) that I’m allergic to most of the feel-good narcotics (Percocet, Hydrocodone, etc) that would help ease the pain. Sheesh. I can’t even get addicted to this junk because I’m allergic!!!
Pagan,
I’m too drunk to respond but I wanted to recognize your clever comment.
I’m so fortunate to not be allergic to anything. However, I’ve never been stung by a bee or anything like it, so I still could have a reaction to that, I suppose. Hope I never have to find out.
As a kid, I had to give myself penicilin shots in my leg, for rhuematic fever. (I’m allergic to spelling hard words correctly).
Had a cat once that was allergic to itself.
I’m allergic to “Submit Comment” buttons that don’t work properly. It seems I’ve lost my comment…but I didn’t really have anything too important to say.
Never been allergic to anything. Wait – dust makes me sneeze, does that count? There are some foods I dislike, but I certainly don’t claim to be allergic to them. No food poisoning yet, and I’d like to keep it that way.
My boss is allergic to olives, including olive oil. He says, “it makes my throat close up, and then I go to the emergency room”. I tend to believe him, because he is a reasonable guy and quite bright.
My theory regarding the recent rash (sorry) of peanut allergies is that they’re caused by Sensitive New Age Parents not feeding their kids peanut butter in the 1970s/80s, and that these kids grew up to be today’s PB-allergic adults.
“Man up and eat a peanut” – OMFG, I’m rolling!
As much as I love onions, they don’t love me. I’m not allowed indoors for a couple of days after eating them, it’s such a disgrace. The cat tries to bury me, the dog kicks grass at me with its back legs…nasty.
No allergies that i’m aware of, and I must be immune to poison ivy as well, for which I am gratefull. I had food poisoning once, nasty awful experience, but if that’s the worst thing so far, I’d say I’m pretty lucky.
Got food poisoning from from eating a BLT for breakfast from a Christian prayer with the menu place, never went back. Maybe it was the mayo, “cause everything is better with bacon, although I sincerely wouldn’t have wished that afternoon on practically anybody
Allergic to fresh fruit…especially bananas, but that doesn’t stop me from eating them. I’ve just adjusted my mindset to expect some throat constriction and irritation.
Had food poisioning once. It was the absolute worst pain and suffering I have ever experienced. It probably wouldn’t have been so severe…except I got it at an all you can eat buffet, and back in those days I viewed the term, “all you can eat” as a challenge!
a few comments…
Tyrosine:
I think the right has this one covered. There were fewer allergies before Rowe vs Wade. Post hoc ergo propter hoc.
Whenever you post comments like this I enjoy the heck out of them and always learn something. Thanks.
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Juancho:
“28 hours in the bathroom of a Croatian bus” would be a good name for a rock album and a passable name for a porn movie. In any case, having had food poisoning myself (from my second wife, trying to kill me and make it look like an accident), I felt your pain.
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I have very mild allergies to insect stings, some coniferous trees during mating season, and spider tracks in dust. My heart goes out to all who suffer significant food and airborne allergies. I know it’s more than a mild inconvenience. Suggesting that they are caused by radio listening choices doesn’t rank high on the empathy scale, but live and be well.
jtb
Shellfish and raccoon poop. I’ve been helping clean out a neighbor’s guest house that became infested with the little devils. I break out in hives, itching, and get a bad cough with a really weird (poopy?) taste / trouble breathing for days. Once – in the desert – someone handed me a snack and I ate it without asking what it was. Turned out to be crab. I learned then and there never to travel without Benadryl.
The FDA publishes food recalls and you can get them emailed to you. It’s amazing how many are due to ‘undeclared contents’ that could cause an allergic reaction.
Oh! I’m a fellow hoopie, love the WVSR, and have gotten several friends to read it regularly. Thanks!
I forgot about the time 15 years ago when I was stung by a wasp on the hand. I was working construction and we were on a jobsite 3 hours from home staying overnight in hotels. I was stung around 9 in the morning but didn’t really think much of it, by noon my hand was starting to swell pretty good but wasn’t really causing any discomfort so I ignored it. Around 3 my foreman wanted to take me to the emergency room because my hand looked like the Hamburger Helper dude but I refused telling him we would be off in a couple of hours and I would put some ice on it when we got back to the hotel which is what I did. The next morning I had went from the HH dude to Popeye, it had swollen nearly to my elbow. My foreman told me to get in the truck and drove me to the ER where they shot me full of Benadryl. He dropped me back off at the hotel where I laid for two days in a Benadryl induced near coma like state.
(This is where I would normally insert “Good Times” but it was banned last week.
“some coniferous trees during mating season” just what kind trees do you all have out there on the west coast. Could this be the reason for many of the forest fires? Trees doing the grind during the dry season? Inquiring minds must know!
WB,
I was referring to MY mating season, not the trees’. I will stipulate that the sentence left something dangling, which I also do during mating season.
After 50, a man has to pick his spots, and, like bourbon season, give his all at that time of year.
Or maybe it’s just me. Perhaps everybody else over 50 is banging away like a 12 cylinder Aston Martin the year round.
In any case, while conifers do communicate here in the northwest, they don’t copulate, perhaps because God keeps dumping water on them.
jtb
jtb-Being from the eastern part of the US where most of the native trees are deciduous hardwoods and drop nuts for reproduction I wasn’t sure if there was some sort of aerial pollenation that occurred for coniferous reproduction, well that and it just sounded funny to me. You’ve left me something to ponder however, perhaps instead of spending the whole year making half assed attempts at copulating with the fairer sex I should instead focus my energies better.
The husband is allergic to penicillin.
I am allergic to/ intolerant of dry beer. Remember when dry beer was the new thing? It gives me a screaming migraine. I thought I had developed an allergy to beer in general, and this made me sad. Very sad. Then I remembered a friend who claimed to be allergic to dry beer, realized I only got the screaming migraines after drinking the dry stuff and was able to return to drinking my beloved not dry beer.
Girlgoyle – I too had my only bout of food poisoning in NOLA. Fortunately, we lived there for three years, so the whole trip wasn’t ruined. I hope you get the chance to go back and enjoy yourself. It really is an awesome place!
I’m not allergic to anything. On the other hand, my wife is allergic to everything. I could snort the yellow pollen off my truck in the spring and get nothing, but as soon as a bud pops out some where in the Carolinas my wife is a mess. She also has a bad reaction to anal, but that might be something different.
First-time, long-time.
I can’t eat onions. I never liked them as a kid so always stayed away from them, but as an adult I didn’t make an active attempt to avoid them. I started getting kill-me-now heartburn after eating things that had onions, though. None of the heartburn relief meds (this was about the time that all of then hit the open market) phased it at all. The only way to get rid of it was to send the onions out the way they came in.
I’ve heard of one other person that is onion-allergic, but his is the peanut-death kind. I’ll probably get there eventually.
WB,
You have the conifer reproduction thing about right. There are male and female cones. The male cones produce pollen and the female cones, once pollinated, produce seeds. The male cones are small, so the cones you see on the ground while walking through a coniferous forest are the females.
I identify more with the eastern trees, having dropped my nuts while trying to reproduce on several occasions.
So it goes…
jtb
Tyrosine- Because she too can be very informative.
My husband is violently allergic to ginger. He nose starts to bleed, his lips get a poison-ivy sort of rash, and he becomes almost homicidally angry. He’s a very large man, so you don’t want him to be angry like that. We now call it, “Going ginger.” It took a while to figure out what his problem was. He used to go to the chinese buffet and load up on sushi and ginger. Next thing he knew he was throwing stuff around and angry for no reason. We finally figured it out when we made a bunch of ginger tea for him to drink. It’s supposed to be good for weight loss. He drank two huge glasses of it one right after the other. His nose bled for about two days and he went out and chopped wood for two hours or so just so he wouldn’t hurt anyone. Very, very crazy stuff.
I get an allergic reaction when cutting and peeling raw potatoes but have no problem eating them cooked. This created initial disbelief during my restaurant job days, as my co-workers would just think I was trying to get out of peeling potatoes…certainly one of the lower end jobs in the food prep business. Luckily, the symptoms are mild enough that I could proceed with a demonstration of proof…peel a few taters while my eyes swelled up and nose started to run.
Nowadays when preping potatoes at home, I manage by doing the work under cold running water in the sink and keeping my hands away from my face.
NP: Between the Buried and Me – Disease, Injury, Madness
I have this weird allergic reaction when I drink too much beer. I’ll often vomit and shit myself.
WTB-What on earth is “Dry Beer”? (I prefer liquor, it’s quicker).
I’m allergic to cranberries. The fruit not the band. I swell up so freakin quickly and badly that my ears stick striaght out from my head and I look like Shrek. The rest of me turns bright red and after a day or two all the skin peels off the palms of my hands and soles feet. It sucks cause they are putting those bastards in everything now even Girl Scout Cookies. My husband got me a drink at a bar a few weeks ago that had a splah of cran-apple juice in it, just a splash and it took 4 benadryl just to slow the swelling. I also react to jalepenos. Just the raw ones. I can eat the bacon wrapped stuffed Jalepenos (which are awesome!!) and it doesn’t bother me at all. Raw ones give me hives.
Ok, the band too.
Fat Secretary, dry beer was a fad in the early 1990s. No, I can’t guess what the point was. Most or all of the majors made a version, but see http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/2825 for an example.
Thanks Chill!
Fat Secretary – What Chill said! (Also, because the fermentation process, which is similar to some types of Japanese beer apparently, breaks down more sugar, there is a drier taste – I don’t know why that would give me a migraine though.)
Pagan, not only was your comment clever, but it actually made me remember the blind-date douche who took me out that night for “crabs”. Glad I quit his ass the next day before he “got any”.
He probably would have given me something worse, like a case of lopsters.
I might be allergic to pennicillin. I wish I was allergic to shit I won’t eat so my girlfriend will shut her dicksucker about me being a picky eater.
NP – When we were alive – the thermals