My Lungs Are Full of Biscuit Dough!
I think I’ve come down with typhoid, or possibly a very bad cold. One or the other. It feels like some jokester came in here while I was sleeping, and filled both of my lungs with twenty pounds of biscuit dough. It’s no good, and I’m thinking about taking a sick day from work.
But, of course, I won’t. I was raised by a man who would very likely show up at his job even if he had a headhunter spear driven through his upper torso. My Dad never called off; if he was expected to be there, he was there. I’m not as hardcore about it as he was, but my father’s work ethic will haunt me to my beer and hamburger-triggered grave.
Last night we were short-handed at work (some people were apparently raised by people quite unlike my parents), so I had to lend a hand with some of the actual labor. Meaning: I had to separate my hams from the desk chair. And at one point I got light-headed and clammy, and felt like I was about to pass out.
And I can just hear it now: “Jeff’s not used to getting his precious hands dirty, and blacked-out last night while picking an order. The poor little delicate sissy-boy California pussy…” People always fixate on California for some reason, even though I lived there for roughly 6% of my life.
And anyway, I’d like to see them run up and down ladders and lug heavy boxes around, with forty pounds of dough in their chest cavities. But, of course, that’ll never happen, will it? They’ll just call-off sick when they get sick.
The smart-asses.
I’d like to have a repeat of Christmas Day today. It was fantastic. The Secrets woke us up early: before 6 am, if you can believe it. And after the presents were opened, and we had breakfast, I lounged around on couches for the rest of the day.
Contrary to popular belief, I rarely lounge around on couches. But on Christmas I drifted in and out of consciousness for many hours, and read about a hundred pages of Youth in Revolt, an absurd and hilarious book.
And man, it was great. I didn’t think of work, or worry about anything for an entire day. And at the end of it I felt refreshed, optimistic, and completely clearheaded. It was amazing, and I recommend it.
It’s better living through laziness! And I’m looking forward to implementing this technique again, real soon. Who knew? It’s freaking fantastic!
My 80 gig “Big iPod” is now two-thirds full, and I’m fast approaching a point where I’m going to have to start thinking about deleting some stuff.
First to go: The Doors. God, how I hate them. I used to be a fan, for some reason, but cannot stomach one minute of that crap now.
Jim Morrison sucked. I now realize it. His voice was annoying, he wrote bad poetry, and fancied himself the tortured artist. He was probably murdered in Paris, by some Frenchie who couldn’t endure even one more minute of his affected ass. Yes, that’s my theory: not even the French could handle his pretentious ways.
So, I’ll be removing the Doors real soon, to make room for more Hall & Oates. Now that’s music! Patterson Hood knows it, and so do I.
I’ll leave you with a Question that’s been moldering in my notebook for a long time, and I worry it might be a little… crass. But, dammit, I’m going to unleash it today, and see what happens.
I’d like to know if you’ve ever seen another couple having sex, in person. And if so, under what circumstances?
I don’t believe I have, but I’m not exactly Warren Beatty here. When it comes to these kinds of things, I have a feeling I’m a tad sheltered.
I was in the same room while a couple from my high school were going at it, back during a previous lifetime, but couldn’t see them (thank God). They were in the bottom of a bunk bed with a blanket hanging down, so I could only hear the grunting and slapping — and that was disturbing enough. Shit! I just had a full-body shiver…
So, that’s your Question. Use the comments link to tell us all about it. And I apologize in advance.
I’m going to get ready for work now.
I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Now playing in the bunker
Evil Twin shirts only $12, thru Thursday!
Filed under: Daily
First!!!!
FIRST!!
Oops, second
feel better Jeff!!! that stuff is going around…everywhere it appears.
walked in on my teenage daughter having sex in my house while she was supposed to be babysitting the younger daughter. I did not stand there and watch so does that count? That was one bad day in the house of tilly.
Wooo Hoo I can’t wait to read this shit!!
Don’t they have swinger parties in the Upper Perogie Belt?
WHOA! TOP 10!
Never was in the presence of another mating ritual, does next room of a hotel count?
On the other side –
I don’t understand people coming to work with Swine Flu or such things as concussions.
I have seen both of those example in action.
TOP TEN, BABY!!!!
top 10 on first post ever? in your face regulars!!!
I walked in on my parents once. That sucked and has burnt an image in my head for life.
Give the Doors the ol’ heave-ho…they make my lower jaw retract in a big way. Add more Pogues to fill the space.
ognir- you are right!! I gave several people in my office the nasty cold/flu garbage right before Christmas. I was being really careful too. I used hand sanitizer everytime I left my office but still managed to share. Should have stayed home i guess.
I already have EVERY Shane-era Pogues album on there. I do, however, need to add his first solo album, “The Snake.” That’s a great one!
hot fuzz- How did you come to enter our Kingdom??? Welcome!!!
Agreed on The Doors. I suggest Husker Du as a suitable replacement. Seriously, Hall and Oats?!!!???! Why not go full-out and top up the iPod with Air Supply, Kenny G, and Phil Collins while you’re at it?
At age ten, I walked in on fake Dad and real Mom.
I heard from my room, since we had to keep the doors open at night, a “sssssss…unhhh….ssssss….unhhhh.sssss…unhhh sound coming from their room. I went and, flipped on the light and said “I can’t sleep, could you all be quiet?” Fake Dad was in the middle of full thrust. He leaped out of bed and proceeded to beat the shit out of me, dick swinging (after a few seconds) and all and sent me back to bed crying my eyes out and vowing to kill him one day.
Yeah, I need therapy.
Also saw a female friend get humped by her dog once, live and in person, does that count?
On IPOD right now- “Suffragette City”- Bowie
A friend & I hooked up with a couple of horny nurses that were at a “seminar” in Monterey. They were sharing a room and a couple bottles of wine later, we each took a bed, a nurse, and rode ‘em hard. The lights were dim so there wasn’t much to see but the outline of torsos. The audio was pure porno soundtrack and they seemed to be having a contest on who could out-moan the other.
One time in my High School youth, I was double dating with a friend and his date decided to give him a loud, wet BJ why we were waiting at a railroad crossing for a train to pass. She was given the nickname Jackie Head from that point forward. It turns out she had a very insatiable oral fetish as other classmates could attest to.
In college, a room in my frat house overlooked a relatively flat roof where we used to hang out and drink beer when it was nice out. Once night during a party, a frat brother and his date were right outside that window, on the roof, humping under a blanket. And about six of his frat brothers (including me) were staring out that window watching him hump away. Couldn’t really see anything since a blanket was covering them, but it was good for a laugh.
I have never walked in on any action. Dammit. But I have been walked in on. My late husband and I were going at it at our best friends house during the annual Halloween Pimp-n-Ho party. I was dressed as a naughty school girl. My best friend walked in on us with my skirt flipped up over my waist. She about swallowed her tongue gasping. Funny as hell.
i’ve never walked in on anyone else, but my oldest secret caught me and doctor wonderful in the act. the next day i think i told her that her dad had a really bad cold and that’s why he was making those funny noises. hee hee hee. that was a REALLY long time ago. at 75 i can’t remember who did what to whom, or why.
I don’t think you’ve lead a sheltered life Jeff as I have never seen anyone doing the deed, but I do think the question is rather odd. May we ask why you would like to know? I think that would make a better post……..
Regarding Hall & Oates: They played at my college in about 1981 or ’82, so I saw ‘em live in their prime. But I never really liked ‘em much, and never owned any of their records (aside from the Fripp/Hall album, purchased for Robert Fripp’s guitars) — until about about two years ago, that is. What inspired me to buy some of H&O’s stuff was Hall’s appearance on the Howard Stern show (Sirius radio and OnDemand TV). He was much cooler than I ever imagined. He now lives in a woodsy area somewhere in New England, and was dressed like a lumberjack, with unkempt hair and unshaven face. And he was incredibly honest and down-to-earth and “real.” I was so impressed that I ordered a bunch of H&O albums on Amazon. I’d never really listened to ‘em much, except what was heard on the radio and MTV in the ’80s, so I figured I’d give them a real shot. Unfortunately, they haven’t really “moved” me — it’s pleasant enough music, but probably a little too “disco-era” for my tastes. Maybe I’ll give them a few more spins, though (inspired by Jeff’s raves), and I might develop a liking. We’ll see.
I found this synopsis of Hall’s appearance on Stern:
http://www.howardstern.com/rundown.hs?d=1195016400
and it includes an answer to Jeff’s question of the day:
“Daryl revealed that while they’d had sex in the same room, they’d never had sex with each other”
Dorothy- are you really 75??? Dr. wonderful that is too cute.
Bikerchick- me too last summer in a friends bathroom. Ooops. the funny thing was it was said teenage daughter that caught us. She deserved that.
I’ve seen people do the deed on a couple of occasions. The strangest was when as a (barely) teenager I watched a slightly retarded man screw his hideous hog of a wife right in their living room. What is even weirder is that I wasn’t the only spectator. The slightly retarded guy’s elderly mother was in the room as was the couple’s young son.
It was weird and awkward. I think I was the only one who found the whole bizarre and decidedly un-arousing spectacle the least bit strange. Grandma and junior treated it like an everyday occurrence. They just continued to watch TV and seemed to ignore the grunting, moaning, partially naked scene being played out a couple of feet away.
It might explain why junior ended up being arrested for planning a columbine style extravaganza at his high school.
I once walked up on folks sexing it up in the great outdoors. I quickly turned on my heels and headed in the other direction as soon as I figured out what they were up to.
John Oates is made out of Jim Morrison’s spare parts: After he died in Paris, someone robbed his grave and stole some parts that were later used to ‘build’ John Oates. Not many people know that.
I’ve never walked in on anyone, but sometimes, hearing the act is enough to scar you. My mom’s bedroom was next to mine, and the heating duct was a fine conveyor of sound. I also heard my sister and her husband going at it as the bed thumped against the wall one Christmas.
I’ve been caught in the act twice in my life — if you don’t count the dogs watching from the foot of the bed. Once, my boyfriend and I were being cockblocked while on vacation in a beach house we rented with a group of friends. There weren’t enough rooms for each couple to have their own bedroom, so we were grouped by gender. After everyone had gone to bed and Boyfriend and I were having a rendezvous on the cold kitchen floor, the door swung open and a friend caught us in flagrante delicto. A hasty exit ensued and the incident was deemed unmentionable by any of the parties present for that split second. (Note: I did the right thing and disinfected the floor after. I hope you all would do the same.)
In another incident from my youth, I was having a secret fling with a close friend who lived with a number of people in an old mansion with gigantic rooms that were partitioned by wall units and huge armoires. I guess technically, my friend shared a room with another guy even though their “bedrooms” were nearly entirely separated except for the door. One night, the roommate was highly, highly intoxicated and snoring loudly, so we didn’t think it would be such a big deal. We could be quiet. Yeah. At some point, we failed to notice that the snoring had stopped, and the next thing we knew, the roommate was stumbling towards the door, which was on our side of the room. I pulled the sheet over my head, hoping that the roommate wouldn’t see me. The conversation went something like this:
Drunken Roommate: “Who have you got there with you?”
Friend: “No one. Go back to bed.”
Roommate: “Is it that blond girl, Anja (my friend)?”
Friend: “No. Go back to bed.”
Roommate: “Why won’t you tell me? Just tell me.”
Friend: “Danny. Seriously. Go away!”
Roommate: “That’s it. I’m pulling the sheet off. I wanna know.”
After a brief tug-o-war with the drunk man who thought he was being funny, my friend and I prevailed. Drunk man wandered off to the toilet, and my friend and I high-tailed it out of there, half-dressed. Our secret was safe.
tilly—yes, i am really 75. once upon a time a regular commenter said he’d have to watch his language after he found out how old i was. i replied “who do you think invented those words? ” and also, my 76 yr old roomate thinks he IS dr.wonderful. a doctor, yes. wonderful meh.
Is it just me or is anyone else slighty aroused by Brynhildr story telling capabilities?
I haven’t witnessed anyone in the act or been caught, although there’s been a close call a time or two.
Jeff, I can’t believe that you thought we would think your question a little CRASS!! Have you ever read our comments?! heehee
Oh, yeah. First time was in college. Another couple, a girl I knew, but not girlfriend, and I went for some ice cream after dinner. We were in the back seat. We pulled over somewhere. He got the ice, she got the cream, right in the front seat. Somewhat awkward. Second time was in a basement apartment I’d rented for summer school. It had one bedroom with two double beds in it. A friend visited over the weekend, and we went bar hopping. He hooked up, and headed back to the basement. I came in later, and they were goin’ hot and heavy. I left the light off as I got undressed, and they never stopped. They actually talked to me as I was getting undressed. Third time was on a visit to a college buddy’s place in Wisconsin. Woke up Sunday morning to see him and his girlfriend, both standing up, buck naked, and he was just about ready to stick it in. They saw me, and spoke to me, and just continued. Didn’t really wanna watch that one. What strangely links all these together is the fact that everyone knew they had company, and just kept right on goin’.
I have never walked in or seen anyone actually in the act but have been watched by a freaky husband while fornicating with his wife. That was weird and only happened once. Now I have been caught in the act several times by an angry husband and or boyfriend and those events usually did not end real well.
I did learn however to run and dress at the same time, a talent that is not easily accomplishished!
Dorothy- you must be one helluva cool lady to be a regular here it gets pretty crazy sometimes. In fact this website was blocked by our web filter at work under the category of “tasteless and offensive” for months i could not see it and it was almost enough to make me get internet at home.
Many years ago my father caught me and the girlfriend (who would later become my ex-wife) in the middle of the living room floor. He said ‘Oh, shit!’ and went back to bed. The next day I got a handshake and a wry grin. My Dad was pretty cool, although I didn’t figure that out until much later.
I attended a friends bachelor party at another friends weekend cabin. Who shows up but the grooms old girlfriend. Of course they grabbed a bunk and then set a record of some sort I’m sure.
Never visibly caught anyone, but have had neighbors in apartment buildings who might as well have been visible. Sounded like someone was beating their dog. But, I’ve been caught before and it was kind of like the scene in Rain Man where he came into the bedroom and was sitting on the end of the bed, watching TV. My ex’s teenage daughter played the part of Raymond Babbitt, completely oblivious to the fact that we were both lying there with our heads at the foot end of the bed, her face up and me face down on top of her. And, it was a Sunday afternoon. LOL, good times !!
Teenage daughter was also trying to carry on a conversation with her mother. Needless to say, everything went South from there – LITERALLY !
thanks for the welcome Tilly – stumbled upon Jeff’s “art” accidentally – not sure how but was led to his photo essay on fast view propaganda vs reality… then a quick sideways maneuver to the effects of Alli in layman’s terms (who can forget “shotgun blast” as a bodily function? and ever since I’ve had all of you in an anthropological study… hidden behind my blind..observing (but not touching… just observing.. this ain’t no romance novel)
So… first time caller, long time listener…as for the “have you ever” of the day…. open concept cottage…middle of the night…15′ away… noises (my god make it stop)…a very moan laden “now…now …now” ….and I now must go hurl
(next time shorter – promise)
fast view should be fast food
d’uh
If I have walked in on anyone I hav e blocked it out of my memory. That, or I am shelterede too.
hot fuzz – i found the surf report via the Alli essay. I spent about 3hrs reading that evening and have been hooked ever since. welcome.
I can’t believe I’ve never been caught! Oh, I have stories…in trees….on motorcycles…yes, I have stories.
Never caught anyone, either. And I’ve lived a much less than sheltered life! Oh well. I guess there’s still time….
Happy Tuesday, Surfers!
Aw fuck! I knew it. I just goddamn fucking knew it. Another fucking cop watching. Hot-Fucking-Fuzz. What a fucking give away. An “anthroplolgical study”, my grandma’s ass…(sorry dorothy). I was just getting ready to say how we used to get really fucked up with the best coke and pot and tequilia and all fuck a few fans backstage and then in the dressing room and then have twenty people fucking in one of the band member’s hotel room…and now I can’t.
But all the same…welcome hot fuzz!!
And now a word from our sponsor….
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091229/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_shoplifting_chaos
Had one couple go at it in the back seat while I was in the fronts seat with another girl… and frustrated!
Then there was the couple on the beach in NJ going full throttle when the ecology class I was in walked over the dunes and got to observe some wildlife. Lots of scrambling and towels flying around!
Oh, I think I know where Jeff works. I’m a customer. I shall keep quiet about where it is.
As for the question of the day, what if you were supposed to be there, and were, say, just taking a break for a minute?
Why thankee Alice in WV
dto – if it puts your mind at ease, the alias is grabbed from the (hilarious) movie of the same name… I was so excited to possibly be in the top ten I had to think of something witty to call myself…and nothing came to mind…except maybe “Angry Nipples” …but I was worried about possible copy write infringement with the AWG…so please please continue so I can live my life viciously though the more worldly folks…and thanks for the welcome
I once watched a 15 year old girl masterbate her 18 year old boyfriend. It was from a bit of a distance, cause the boyfriend asked me to move to the other side of the yard while they had their fun on the outdoor deck. She told me all about it later.
Hall & Oates song “Missed opportunities” is a good song…and kind of suggests my time with the 15 yr old girl.
A comment about sick days from work – I worked at a restaurant a few years ago. One of the busboys called in sick, then later came in to have lunch with a friend. Not too bright.
I’m taking the 5th.
I should get honarary 1st since a comment I posted was referenced in an update.
Jeff, I gotta say, my faith in you dropped slightly today when I read your review of the Doors. Jim Morrison rocked. Whats next, a five page review of why you don’t like The Grateful Dead? I pray for the sake of our relationship it isn’t so. And as to the question, I’ve never witnessed anyone having sex, but twice friends of mine have. We won’t go into why.
My parents used to send my younger brother up to check on my and my first girl I banged.
The second girl I banged, the first time we banged, was on a bale of hay in a barn with a horse watching and her brother who was 3 years older than her showed up.
The 3rd girl I banged and I ended up banging on the same bed (ours) as my best friend at the time and his wife a few times. There was a bit of swapping going on too, girl/girl/ girl/guy, no guy/guy.
The 6th girl I banged was in the same house I shared with the 3rd girl I banged and the whole time we were banging the ex was blaring Hayden while me and sporty spice were doing it.
7th girl in a parking garage at the atlanta airport, but nobody saw, I think.
10th girl I banged before we were banging got to spend the night in a cold studio apartment with my best friend and his bitch girlfriend while they banged.
That’s about the last one I remember. I’ve been drunk since (1999).
A former friend and I hooked up with two guys (well, we each took one) & had awkward sex in the office of a Radio Shack (ahhh, the jokes that can be made) with only a pile of boxes seperating us. So, I heard her trying to straddle the guy on a squeaky chair while she heard me trying to not get rug burns on the terrible carpet. Needless to say I made my guy stop because he just sucked & I waited in the corner till she finished so we could leave. Looking back I am quite mortified at the whole experience. Man, how I’d love to erase my entire high school/first college years.
Je-sus, t-storm, I think I need Cliff Notes for that version of events. That’s a lot of number (but I bet I got ya beat there!) & lots of beds and hay bales. Good times!
Is that why they call it The Shack?
Beat me in number of partners, or experiences with other dirtiness in the room?
I think I might have hit my last number though. Weird stapler accident, story for another time.
I’m right there with ya Jeff on The Doors. I would rather listen to Gilbert Godfreid read War and Peace. And I like Hall and Oates…so sue me.
Hot Fuzz – I love that movie! I love Simon Pegg.
Jeff – Sorry to hear about the biscuit lungs. Do you think your illness was caused by a draft from the ass blow out in your pants?
TILLY – I thought you would go with the story from when we were in high school, and a girl in our circle of friends offered to help you win the affections of a boy you liked. After the three of you hung out all night, everyone ended up crashing in your bed, and you woke up a couple of hours later to the two of them doing it. I would sarcastically say that the girl was a really good friend, but instead I will say that she was a wretched bitch. I still don’t like her.
Why, Hello Surf Reporters…….
I was going to make up some long ago teen lesbian sleep over Penthouse Forum fantasy..
I saw my parents fucking the night before Mom went into the hospital to undergo the full blown , rip it all out hysterectomy…
*I’m typing this*
Dad was wheelin’ & dealin’…
the lights were on….
somebody hold me
Had same, darkened banquet room sex wit a girl while a lead singer of the local band was having sex with my ex-girlfriend on the floor 50 carpeted feet away. My brother later got engaged to the girl I was having sex with…but he didn’t know I’d been there until he announced his engagement to her, and smuggly told me, “Hmmmppphhhh, YOU could NEVER get a girl as hot as ********!” I told him, “Been there, done it.” And after I described several unique, hidden features of her body, his relationship with her suddenly soured.
@dorothy…seriously, are you 75????? I hang out with a lot of older people, including a cool old 93yo guy in WV who actually fired Dean Martin from a construction job in Steubenville…back when steam shovels were still powered by steam. But to be 75 and still love and appreciate the WVSR, man, that gives me something to live for! Dorothy, I hope you’re still around and still commenting when I’m 75!
@30 miles south…It’s “masturbate,” NOT “masterbate.” Sheesh, in my 53 years, believe me, I’ve done it enough to know how to spell it correctly.
WTB- i totally forgot about that. OMG you remember everything and I am pretty sure you drank as much as i did back then. I applaud your ability to remember the 80′s. its all a blur.
Yes she was a wretched BITCH!!! GAWD! I do wonder what became of her. Whore.
t-storm: Holy shit in a bucket, man! Is that the romantic side of you talking??
dorothy: My mother had a great sense of humor too! She would have loved the WVSR. A family of misfits I also found by the Alli in layman’s terms. You have to have thick skin to loiter around this crowd….and I wouldn’t miss a minute of it. It is my daily sanity break when I need to laugh.
JCII – full body shiver, man.
Heyyy Jeff – How are your doughy lungs today?
Geez, I read this and thought I finally had something shocking enough to say…. sneaking up on the minister knocking off a piece in a pew… just pales to these stories.
**Sneaking because we thought we were catching a burgler.
I’m with ETW–the Fifth must be taken. Too many stories to share, and they’re best left unshared.
I’ll just add that since I’ve spent 52 of my 56 years out here on the Left Coast, I’ll take responsibility for the derisive reference to California living that Jeff has to endure–I’ve engaged in most of the activities to which such a reference alludes. The last such activities occurred on my 40th birthday, though, so I guess I’ve been “clean” (but definitely not “clean and sober”) since then.
Good times, though. Indeed.
@eloh- What???????
Seriously, the bogus organization I work for (state mandated- you can’t use water, even though there is 50 gazillion gallons due west from here) is about to block me from our “wasting time at work” fun. Anyone figure out a backdoor way to get to this site yet due to a similar situation?
On IPOD right now- “Whole Lotta Rosie”- ACDC
bikerchick – i’m a charmer.
@AWG –
Try using public DNS servers, instead of the ones assigned by the office. Not always, but sometimes, this will bypass the internal blocking. E-mail me for directions. jeff at 850koa dot com
Chances are CitizenX will have a better suggestion….
Thanks Jeff, I will do that from home, when it happens, as we are blocked from personal email usage from work as it is.
On IPOD right now- “Angry Chair”- Alice In Chains
In fact, it just took me seven minutes to send that message. They’re watching…. they’re aaaalllways watching.
AWG: A couple of ideas:
1. Check to see if your office blocks the following site: http://anonymouse.org. If it does not, you can access any other site from that site. (But you have to put up with a lot of annoying pop-up ads.)
2. Install “LogMeIn” software on your home computer (www.logmein.com). (The basic version is free.) You can then log onto you home computer from your office computer, and surf the web via your home computer. (This is assuming your office isn’t also blocking http://www.logmein.com.)
AWG- i found that if you flirt with the IT guy and ask real nice he will unblock the WVSR and life will be good.
Thanks, Swami, I’ll try it, as well.
TILLY, the IT guy is not my type, but thank you anyway.
On IPOD right now- “Women and Children First”- VH
AWG- My IT guy is not my type either but that is not the point. LOL
t-storm: Are you startin’ yer New Year off with a BANG??
bikerchick – i am. at the rennasaince hotel in cleveland.
Tilly’s absolutely right – regardless of the fact I’m happily married, a little flirting will get you far. Unless you’re Matt, the SA. Then, it’ll just get you ignored.
I miss one day of posts because my crazy internet is down at home and I miss THIS question of the day?!?! This the one question on which I’m an authority!
So, in answer to your question (or was it questions?)..
Have I been watched or watched while other people got it on? Indeed I have, on both counts.. and I have the pictures to prove it!
alright deb, get on it.
@ Alice & Hot Fuzz.
That’s How I found the WVSR (Alli) and went on the read all of the other Best of stuff. Some of it I guess you’d of had to been there but over all I’ve turned on a few – only cool people who would appreaciate it – to the report.
I got to the WVSR through the Alli spot too!
As for catching people in the act, one time when I was a kid I went biking around the local YMCA parking lot and stumbled upon two people going at it all all hot and heavy in a car. My 8 year old mind was of course quite confused, but I went on my merry way and left them alone. I don’t think they ever noticed me. I also walked in on my parents once, but thankfully they were mostly under the sheets. But gawd, what a horrible image to have singed in your memory!