More Money Straight Down the Toilet
We moved into our current house in early 2000, and have had plumbing problems on a semi-regular basis, almost from the start.
In fact, there was a significant hidden issue even before we bought the place. We had it inspected by a company with a good reputation, and prices to match. And they let us down, big time. The pricks.
The upstairs toilet was leaking underneath, inside the flooring, and within a month or so water was dripping through the ceiling downstairs. When the contractor tore it apart, he said the thing had been leaking for many months.
We had to rebuild the entire floor in that room, replace the tile, and all manner of fantastic fun. It cost us a lot of money, and we weren’t happy. We had some cash saved to set up our new home, and a big hunk of it went, almost literally, down the toilet.
We tried to go after the inspection company, we even saw a lawyer about it, but their “guarantee” had more holes in it than our main turd-transport pipe. It was worded so they were almost completely protected, and didn’t really have to perform much of a service.
Anyway, fast-forward to 2009, and guess what’s happening? That’s correct, water is leaking through the downstairs ceiling again! In the exact same place.
On Friday we had a plumbing contractor look at it, and, among other things, he surgically removed the water spot with some kind of saw, and stuck his head up in there. It’s that toilet again, and all the wood underneath is super-saturated – just like in May 2000. Grrr…
We’d talked about replacing that crap-catcher, because there was something not-quite-right about it. But we never got around to it. Now we’ve got a mess on our hands.
The good news? When we refinanced our mortgage last time, they talked us into buying a home warranty. I think it was free for the first ninety days, then they added twelve dollars a month to our payments, or something along those lines.
And they’re actually going to pay for about two-thirds of this fiasco. I’m shocked, if you want to know the truth. I was braced for a long list of reasons they wouldn’t “be able” to cover our claim.
So, this time we’re doing it right. That old Lyndon Johnson toilet is being put out to pasture, and everything’s going to be new. Everything from the sub-flooring on up. I’m tired of monkeying around with it. By this time next week we should have a commercial-grade toilet in there, so powerful it’ll suck the intestines right out of ya.
And it’s not going to cost us a ton of money, either. We’re going to have to pay for the upgrades, but the main work is covered. Considering everything we’re having done, we’re getting off easy.
They’re starting on Wednesday morning, and will be blasting out the tile with some sort of air gun, or whatever. Mildly concerning…
Yesterday we decided on the new fancy-pants flooring, and they’re going to bring three toilets to our house(!), so we can spend a little time with each before making our decision. Heh. I’ll be wanting to take all of them for a test-drive; a new toilet is a big deal, and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Yes, it’s already been a memorable experience, and promises to get even better. Here are a few random notes from My Friday With a Plumber:
When he stuck his head inside the new hole in our downstairs ceiling, he howled in protest and said there was a “bee’s nest” in there. Inside our house?? What the?
He flicked it a few times, and nothing happened. So he just casually plucked it out of there, like he was picking an apple. I nearly dropped a rectal plate. I’d never seen a person grab a hive like that.
“Bees were living underneath our toilet?” I stammered.
“Apparently,” he answered. “That’s a new one on me.”
“So, a whole swarm of yellow jackets could’ve flown straight up my ass?”
“Ha, that would’ve been something to see…”
He rigged the toilet so it wouldn’t leak in the short term, but warned me not to allow anyone to sit on it, unless there’s an emergency. “If someone’s on it, and starts hearing an unusual noise or feels the toilet tilting, they need to abandon ship – right now!”
Gulp. I guess I’d better stay away from Starbucks for the next few days…?
He told me one of his customers had paid a company to do a complete remodel of her bathroom, and after about two months the toilet started sinking into the floor. He said the thing was radically unlevel; the people were shitting on a slant.
Baffled, he cut into the floor, and found a piece of plywood and all the usual stuff. But below it were cardboard boxes. The builder had cut corners by using cardboard boxes as shim material!
Have you ever heard of such a thing? I’m having a hard time believing that one… I mean, seriously.
He also said a “large” woman had a water leak in her living room, but they couldn’t find the source of it. There were no pipes where the water was coming through the drywall, and they didn’t see any problems in the upstairs bathroom.
He said he and his team spent many hours there, trying to get to the bottom of it. He wondered if the size of the woman might have something to do with it, and quietly had his biggest helper stand inside the shower. Nothing. Nothing was leaking.
Eventually, after several return visits, he met the woman’s boyfriend – also morbidly obese. Between the two of them, he said, they must’ve weighed 700 pounds.
He went about it delicately, but finally got her to admit that she and her boyfriend like to take showers together. They were doing it a couple of times per week. So, he loaded up the shower with three or four people, approximately the same weight as the couple, and the mystery was solved.
The drain started leaking, the water traveled downhill slightly, and exited straight through the living room ceiling.
Yes, the guy’s a hell of a storyteller. I wouldn’t mind having a few Yuenglings with him someday. I have a feeling we’ve only scratched the surface of the tip of the iceberg here.
So stay tuned.
And since we’re getting ready to drop more than a thousand bucks on this crap, I’ll try to turn it into a Question…
Use the comments link to tell us about the last time you spent more than a grand all at once, for one particular thing. Was it more exciting than a new toilet that won’t go crashing through the floor following a violent Burrito Supreme blowout?
I seriously doubt it, but who knows? What did you buy the last time you spent more than a thousand dollars on something?
And I’ll get back to the normal stupidity tomorrow.
See ya then.
Filed under: Daily
Word!
Tada!
Bingo!!!
Hello!
Intimate details from another Joe the Plumber…Hmmm, good title. Jeff, I give you full permission to use it.
Bought a 99 Ford Taurus last summer to get better mileage than my F150. Wrote a check for 5 grand. Didn’t want to take a car payment so I bought a clunker to get me through $4 a gallon gas. Not very exciting, sorry.
5th.
Dammit
16 Grand including trade-in to upgrade my 94 Jeep Cherokee to an 05 Jeep Grand Cherokee. It was worth it. Fully loaded with GPS, heated seats (got to keep the tushy warm on the cold NC mornings), DVD (although I never watch it) and dual climate control. Prior to that, I had to drop 1500 for a new heat pump after the compressor gave out in the heat of summer.
Top Ten!
I’m going to see Stone Temple Pilots tonight, yay!
Jeff – Bunker Cam – WTF!!!
Damn, almost top 10. Jeff posted earlier than I expected.
Just spent $1100 yesterday at the emergency vet to have the dog x-ray’d, stomach pumped, etc. all because the imbecile decided to eat something stupid.
I’ve written out some large checks — paid $25K cash for a used car, $12K for new kitchen cabinetry (labor not included), $4K for all new appliances, $6K for a new bedroom set, and nearly $5K to get my eyes lasered. Hurts so much more than using a credit card when you write out the words on a check. “Twenty-five thousand two hundred sixty-eight and ….” Didn’t care about airline miles at the time since I was traveling so much for work and had no time to redeem the miles I already had. Sometimes it’s better to just rip the bandage off quickly.
The toilet in my mother’s bathroom — the one that sees the most action — is about ready to fall through the floor. Totally rotted and wobbly. Every time I have to go at her house, I either hover or sit down very gingerly. On one hand, I don’t want to be the one on the pot when the thing finally blows, but on the other hand, she’ll have to fix the problem if there’s a gaping hole in her house, especially since she thinks some form of vermin has taken up residence under her house (no basement in CA). She assumes the problem will go away if she ignores it long enough. And my brother-in-law is a contractor, no less. Does she think he’ll rip her off? As I understand it, he’s offered to do it himself for the cost of materials and beer.
Jeff – Damnit! Go with the American Standard line of toilets with the Champion 4 flushing system. ELONGATED bowl!!!! You family jewels will appreciate the extra space. Also, get the “right height” toilet. You’re far too old to be crouching down that far to blow a gasket.
Take it from a plumber, I know my shitters!
Last grand I spent was on a garage door last week. Jeez.
What doesn’t cost a grand or more? The economy made me move to a new city this year, and with a ‘new’ house (it actually just turned 100 years old this year), I am writing four-digit checks like a well-to-do dope fiend. If the national economy turns itself around this year, I fully expect to get an honorable mention in an Obama speech.
Jeff,
When they replace your sub-floor do NOT let them use OSB (oriented strand board) aka Aspenite (photo here: http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2935243/2/istockphoto_2935243-osb-oriented-strand-board-hi-res.jpg), make sure they use regular plywood. Builders like OSB because it’s cheap, but the problem is that it doesn’t last well in wet areas. If it gets wet it swells up (ruining your tile) and when it dries out it then crumbles. Based on your description of your toilet problem I’ll bet your current sub-floor is OSB.
For the finished floor I recommend ceramic tile with a good backer (I prefer Ditra) because it prevents water penetration better than most other options, and laminate flooring is not ok for any wet area (never mind what the manufacturer says, they lie). If you go with ceramic have them do ceramic baseboards as well (it will cost a little more for the ½ row of tiles around the room). This will better protect against water penetration and is well worth the extra cost.
Also make sure your plumber uses a wax ring to mount the toilet (not rubberized, they don’t seal as well). Finally, make sure they seal all gaps with a silicone based sealant including: around the toilet, the tub edge, where the tiles meet the walls, under the vanity, etc.
$3500 on materials to reshingle the roof… No, wait, we’re still paying off our Home Depot card so maybe that doesn’t count.
sigh…
$1500 on ACL surgery for our 12 year old pooch… My hubby wanted to do the $30 shot of death, but I helped him change his mind.
Does $39,000 to the IRS count? Yeah.
Other than that a car or a TV or vacation. If you’d asked next week it would be for new kitchen counters.
I’ll second the elongated bowl. I hate those crappy little toilets (excuse the pun).
Never written out a big check that I can recall, but will be soon to contractors to fix some stuff in the house and put new flooring down. It’ll be worth it though.
I will be shelling out well over a thousand dollars soon for some of Miss KIA’s college expenses not covered by her scholarships.
We need to replace our tub surround in the shower soon and I’ve been greasing my bum in anticipation of the event.
Maybe I can barter with someone to do the work for me?
I spent more than $1,000 in early 2004, after planning to move back to Sarasota from Boone, NC on a flight, with three days notice (therefore it costs more than if you plan a few weeks in advance) and lodging to interview for a job with the legal department of the Sarasota County Sheriff’s Department. AFter my interview, I was disappointed with the lawyer that interviewed me, as I perceived her to be a drunk. Some crackhead black woman got the job. I know this to be a fact, since the black woman who got the job was arrested on crack charges three months later. I knew the lawyer to be a drunk, since she was arrested for intoxication and destroying public property four months later. Wrong place, wrong time for me. Both the crackhead and drunk were dismissed ffrom their jobs. Thought it was a sure thing, therefore, I was willing to spend the money.
Did you know- Walter Cronkite is on life support right now?
On IPOD right now- “I Remember You”- Skid Row
Thanks for all the answers as to what point in time you would like to go back to. Glad to know where you stand. Maybe I should have asked if you like chili of something.
I recently paid over $1,900 to have my wisdom teeth taken out. They drugged me up, changed the music playing on my Ipod, and ripped out my teeth. The best part about the whole thing was that they gave me 3 coupons for free large Frosties at Wendy’s, a sweet water shooting syringe, and a bagfull of my teeth with a smily face on the front.
Last purchase over $1000 was for the new van a couple of weeks ago.
@ Limey – Only if the 20+ grand in child support I had to pay to my ex counts. Thank God thats over with,amen.
In 2007, we spent several thousands of dollars having the house upgraded – 2 all new bathrooms, new porcelain tile for kitchen floor and aforementioned bathrooms. New carpeting on the lower level, $5500 on 18 Low E/Argon Gas windows, Replaced most of the lighting, repainted all surfaces, new front door, screen door and door hardware, and replaced all the kitchen cabinet hardware. We also pulled up carpeting and had the original oak hardwoods refinished on the top floor. I think we had contractors in our house for about a month. But, the payoff is totally worth it!
A grand here is about 48,000 pesos, which makes a nice big satisfying wad. I spent about 55k last year on the computer set up I’m using now, and paid cash for it. I thought the cashier girl at the computer place was going to faint.
Every place you go into (even 7-11) has a guard with a sawed-off shotgun, probably because of assholes like me.
On another note, today’s further evidence was kinda disturbing. Especially the deer’s butt.
@Shiny Rod, at least your check was for something worthwhile. I just felt like I was paying for a Wall St bonus or a crate of landmines.
Four geezles …for my ’92, sweeeeet 4Runner, a year ago off a pot lot in Santa Fe. One of those spooky car lots, open on a Sunday, where you might never think of buying any thing. You wouldn’t even go there for free hot dog day. Did my homework and digging and found a gem! Nice guys too. I think they were glad to see it go. Nobody wants a 5-speed manual trans. Exciting to his day and I bought it from a place some folks might consider a toilet.
Yeah the bunker cam…I think their both waiting for the right moment to push the other one off the thing. I think they’re high enough…so…right…about…….NOW!!!!!!
I assume the yahoo who made the deer’s butt in today’s further evidence caught something nasty while fucking a deer and wanted to work out his feelings through his art.
Listen to Tyrosine, Jeff.
NO fucking OSB around ANY type of water hazard (bathroom floor, kitchen counter, laundry room) where there may be lots of water dumped with nowhere to go.
Definitely ceramic tile, if you have the $$, and back it well. I’ve never seen Ditra, but have heard of it. I think it’s a waterproofing mat? Well, I’ve always seen good results with Hardi-Backer to firm up the floor before installing tile.
Now that I think about it, haven’t I heard of Hardi-backer AND Ditra being used together???? I’m not a Pro, but I can’t get it out of my mind that someone I know does that….
Also, there is no substitute for the beeswax ring to seal the shit-sucker. maybe that’s what happened – the bees built a nest in your floor and robbed your wax toilet ring.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
$18,000 downpayment on our house 15 years ago.
$5,500 for a used van about 6 years ago.
$1,200 for a night with a Thai Lady-Boy about a week ago.
About $4700 for a new sewer line from the house to the street. The old line ran right underneath a tree which had finally crushed the pipe with its roots.
I just spent a few cents over $1,000 for a brand spanking new laptop. I can’t wait to get it!
My current one is a dinosaur – 256MB memory just doesn’t cut it these days. But 3GB will
A month ago. We put in a new kitchen…cabinets, countertops, floor.
Two years ago we put in a new bathroom. We got the American Standard toilet that can flush down 2 dozen golf balls. You never can be too careful. A few times it has amazed me with it’s prowess.
@JCIII
Wow, that was one expensive lady-boy!
@ AustinGuy. Great Googly Moogly! $4700??? Is your house visible from the street or must you ride a monorail from home to check your mail? Maybe your house sits on a granite monolith and they had to blast all the way to the street?
Either that, or you live in Travis heights or something…..
We just had the distinct pleasure of dropping $15,000 on plumbing repairs, $5,000 of which was for a pump station to get our filth up to street level. God, I just loooooooooooove living on a hillside.
@ garrett:
I’ve heard of people being screwed for over 15K for a sewer tie-in. Many cities make you use the contractor of their choice and dance you through a gauntlet of sodomy while they bill for permits, engineering assessments, environmental assessments, etc..
Jeff, you need to get one of those super toilets like I’ve seen on youtube videos. They show this high tech commode flushing golf balls, sacks of dog food, doritos piled up to tank level…etc. with like half a Dr. Pepper can amount of water. I think one video even shows this thing flushing another toilet, if I’m not mistaken.
@Tyrosine – Well if he really is in Austin, that is probably the case.
I’ll bet that the contractor, while digging, found a colony of endangered speckled-blind-albino pillbugs. The city made him relocate them ($4650) to a special sanctuary so they could study their mating habits and bill the taxpayers $60,000 a year.
I’ve written more $1000.00 + chcks than I can possibly remember. Every month at least 3 for various mortgages and bills. Last week was the most recent $1850.00 for a deposit on landscaping.
HEY, I found it:
This thing flushes 18 hot dogs and 20 golf balls. No shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zKbJWl9nW4
…and it does it without a hurricane like amount of force, or special submarine valves or switches – with no visible backspray or anything.
10,000euro deposit on the house in Italy. That was about $15,000.
Just before that we shelled out $3500 on the Beast whose front leg swelled up like a football and had to be taken to emergency. San Francisco Veterinary Specialists (who I would let treat ME) charged us a cool $3500 to fix him. We paid it (almost) gladly, because we love that boy to death.
I’ve decided that, if it weren’t for money, my life would be pretty sweet. Fuckin’ money….
Happy Tuesday, Surfers!
Suprised he didn’t find a secret stash of Nostril’s… uhmmmm….reading material.
If one of mine goes on me here, I want one of those NASA crap-catchers. I know they had one break down once before, but they have great tech support.
@ garrett,
Here’s what they found in Austin Guy’s yard:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Screaming-Caterpillar/86443856305
Yeah, and that’s quite the impressive toilet. No sure why you need one that flushes 20 golf balls, but hey whatever.
Visited New York City recently. Got a coke and 2 hotdogs from a street vendor. Total? $1237.00 not including New York City sales tax which was an extra 4 thousand.
Last weekend I bought fireworks
Also, last weekend I bought a BAT…
Last weekend was expensive.
Three weeks ago I shelled out $2200 on my dog. Yes, my DOG.
Husband came in carrying her foaming @ the mouth so I rushed her to the vet. Since this was a Friday afternoon, I got a 20-something year old Swedish model doctor who told me she had a crushed trachea. Said she’d have to be in emergency clinic over the weekend till a specialist could see her. The following Monday her regular doctor checked her out before going to the ‘specialist’ & he said, “Nah, not a trachea problem, she’s got a HEART problem”. He then gave her massive drugs to fix her heart, ignoring our questions about her current trachea medicine. Sure enough, that night she was seizing. Had to take her back to the emergency clinic who stressed to us this was a trachea issue, not a heart issue & made us take her 75 miles away to a specialist who did $1000 worth of tests in four hours to tell us our dog was perfectly fine, inside & out & had just choked on something the day she foamed. Oh, but we did the right thing in taking her in right away. Bastards! Worst yet is they won’t write this up so we can fight the other vet for reimbursement for being the douchenozzles they are and mis-diagnosing her TWICE. Apparently they don’t like stepping on vet’s toes. I wouldn’t mind a swift kick in the groin, if they’d let me.
Took my dog home & she’s absolutely friggin’ fine. Pass the nuts.
Now Playing on iPhone: ‘Le Flying Saucer Hat’ by Chairlift
I wrote a 16K check for a car in 2001 and a check for 70K to pay off the house in 2007. Every year or so we have to write a big honking check for some home repair/remodel…..new deck, landscaping/drainage work in the yard, new flooring, new carpeting….all of it over 1K easy and none of it on the credit card. Next up is a new roof. I am dreading getting estimates. yuck!
When you have a house, that sucking sound you hear is your house slurping it’s way through your bank account!
I’ll be writing a check for 15K next month when we get the bills for my incoming freshman son’s 1st yr. of college tuition/room&board.
Holy Lady Godiva’s Horse Jeff! I sure hope you have college funds set up for your 2 yuenglings….er, younglings. You’ll be soiling yourself when they graduate high school and you get the pleasure of opening that first College Bill….Yikes!!!
The $47,000 check I wrote as a downpayment on my house was the toughest. Two years ago I dropped $1400 to have 5 very large trees removed from my back yard. It was the best money I ever spent. You see they were very old and very tall pine trees just dropping their piney tar and pointy needles all over my yard. Now they’re gone and I get sunshine beaming into my house all day long now. Sunshine is good.
JCIII – I could have taken you to a night club in Pataya beach and saved you $1150. I have a ex-girl friend that has some connections, oh well, never mind.
Off topic…but a big kudos to Joe T. for the cool day yesterday w/ Tecate, Sam Adams Summer Ale, Lowenbrau and big steaks and sausage and peppers on his deck yesterday! Also peppered w racing and bitchin’ about the state of the Union and chicks, maaaan.
brand new used toyota echo. $3,700 bucks.
@ Limey – Yeah, well thats where most of my 401K went. I didn’t mention the other 17 grand in taxes I had to pay because the witch whe she went and claimed my oldest son when he was living with me. I still and trying to clean that mess up. That was the most expensive ten years of my life so far and I made less money then.
Just sharing a humorous URL
http://dontevenreply.com/
Seems like we spend a grand every time we earn one. Something is always going wrong with the house. Remodeled the nasty basement…painted the house, now we need a roof and windows.
Luckily we used our ‘mad skillz’ to get rid of our 32 bats ourselves. Yes we counted 32 last night as we waited for them to evacuate so we would block entry to their ‘home’. Ugh
@ The Qweezy Mark – You hit my three favorites topics, beer, sausage and chicks.
@ Melissa – Glad to her the dog is fine. Check out the pet health insurance from Banfield (PetSmart). It saves me BIG$$$ on shots and annual checkups and also covers emergency and medical expense like an HMO.
$6000 on a roof last summer. Money well spent. I’m good through retirement on that, so one less thing to worry over!
$225k cheque for a dwnpmt on a condo lucked out on some previous real estate – my proudest moment – they had to rip it out of my hands. Sounds all impressive now – but I haven’t had a contract in 5 months (if things don’t change soon I might be wanting some of that back) – and who knows what that place is worth in this market. Great feeling while it lasted…..
Garret – excellent experiment must have either been invented during a plumbers night of drinking or from someone with many children.
Jeff – a toilet that sucks out your intestines…. Hilarious!
On pet bills – When I had my dog and he was sick I would go to the vet and throw down all my credit cards (usually bawling) begging the vet to just make him better. A vet’s dream come true. He had ACL surgery about 15 years ago (he’s passed on now) and it only $400 at the time. Technology must be better or vets are wiser for to be so much now.
it was only
@ Limey – Mike had some issues…
@Melissa – glad to hear your dog is better. I’d do the same. Much much smaller scale but many years ago my dog had broke a gnome playing Tom Foolery with another dog in the backyard and cut his foot. I ran him to the vet who told me I was ‘lucky’ and it only was going to cost me $50. He then put a band aid on the cut which was of course chewed off before we got home. I was plotting how I should take my terrorist cat (an actual quote from another vet) there to show him how ‘lucky’ he was but put it behind me instead.
Two grand on a beach house for a week. Five bedrooms for me, wife, and baby girl. Some people backed out. It was money well spent, except the guest log said some shit about ghosts in the house playing pool, walking up steps, etc. Didn’t see any, but made it difficult to relax at times. Mass quantities of alcohol fixed that problem though.
@Adam – fireworks and a bat? WTF – nothing more to share? I assume you were at a baseball tournament…
@Limey – Thanks for that link! Freakin’ hilarious! Tears rolling down my cheeks, sides hurt from laughing, people in the office think I finally lost the last marble.
Too funny!
OMG reading all these posts is making me think of a number of additional things I’ve shelled out major cash for, such as…
$300,000 down payment on the shithole house I bought a few years ago
Thousands in labor to fix said shithole
$8K for new flooring/carpeting
$7K for new paint inside and out
$5K for granite countertops
$25K for new landscaping
$8K for a new fence around the property
$2200 monthly mortgage
$6K in annual property tax
Typing this has just made me re-live the trauma, which is especially taxing for a miser like me. I’m gonna need to self-medicate.
Speaking of pet expenses…I took my new dog for a check-up today. I knew when I adopted her that I’d eventually have to pay to have her cherry eye fixed. I was OK with that because she is a sweet, sweet girl — the nicest dog at the shelter, ass wagging in excitement, came to the front of the kennel to greet me. She’d been there longer than any of the other dogs, probably because of her eye and maybe the fact that she needed to be groomed in a bad way. Once I got her out of there and to the groomer to have her shaved, I was surprised to find out that her belly button is herniated (no one knew under all the fur), which really just makes her look like she has a huge outie or a misappropriated penis. Is it dangerous or painful? No? OK, so that is stays as is. But the eye is gonna cost $160 for the quick and dirty surgery (removal of the cherry part only, with the risk of dry-eye later) or upwards of $1000 if I want it reconstructed. My brother asked me how much money I’m already into “the mutt” for, and I refuse to add it up. She’s worth it. We’re good together.
@mountie9wv – I used to hate planning trips like that – used to be ski trips for me. Nice for you to have a treat for your family though. Everything seems like a good idea at the time to people and then loser ‘friends’ start to remember they have a pedicure or need to make cupcakes or have a tummy ache that wknd and can’t make it …. Not suggesting you hang out with those types.
Have you ever checked out ‘meetup.com’ especially for organizing stuff. They have paypal that takes that ‘no commitment my life’s more important and your’s attitude away’. Good site – something there for everyone – even granny. Great place to meet people – outdoor sports (my cup of tea), new mom’s, religion, culture – whatever you’re into….. Families, single people, who cares just finding people with the same interests. I hang out on that site and suggest my friends go on there if they want to do something otherwise I’m not waiting around for them.
Biting my tongue on pet expenses, nobody wants my opinion, it’s less popular than beans in chili!
If you are replacing the bathroom, check out washlet.com. I had to get one after going to Japan and having one in my hotel room. From reading the WVSR it is clear that you don’t like to shit away from home. Your asshole will never be cleaner than after a rinse with a washlet.
‘than yours’ not ‘and your’s’
… and let me not forget the weekend before last, $1500 (total trip and lodging) for the peace and serenity of enjoying the beach with my pup. Just me and the dog basking in the glow of our solitude and very interesting book (1001 Nights). the book starts out with the king catching his wife in an inappropriate situation with the slaves and hand maidens. Didn’t fair to good for wife. I like the kings style though. Oh, and then there was the twelve year old (scotch dammit).
Now playing on the iPod “Don’t get me rowdy” – Manchild
@ Brynhildr – The pups are always worth it. Marley changed a lot of my preconcieved perceptions about dogs. Darn near broke my heart when I read the book. The unconditional love just melts your heart as well as those puppy eyes.
Now playing on the iPod “Don’t let it go to your head” – Jean Carn
Jeff…. GET A TOTO crapper!
Yes, I’m yelling. Get the “long” version… Comfortable and you can flush an apple down it (or……)
Sven the hendrie head
The monthly check I write for rent & bills is slightly over a grand. God, that’s depressing…
Aside from that, the last thing I spent that much $$ on was my upcoming trip to Wyoming.
…and this is why I learned basic plumbing. The plumber is not getting rich on my dime. If I have to call for a plumber, its because I ain’t digging. Did enough of that when I was young. Ain’t happening at 50.
@Sven – hopefully your body has processed the apple a little first. Otherwise you’ve got bigger issues…
leanne — be careful what you say about unprocessed apples. Tyrosine is probably just itchin’ to treat us to a porno involving fruit.
Yes, my dog is worth it. Actually, she was one of four dogs, so I’d do the same for any of them. Now when I come home and she runs up to me to give me her ‘welcome home’ kisses, I remind that I need about 2200 of them before we’re even. She likes that.
As for pet insurance; two of my dogs (a 10 year old Lab & 5 year old Chi) can’t be insured because of age. Of course about 6 months ago I looked up insurance for my last two (which included the one who got sick) and thought ‘$32 a month? Each?! They’re never sick! I’m not paying that’. Of course here we are, $2200 later because of that choice. Needless to say my youngest two are now insured.
Now Playing on iPhone: ‘Ride’ by The Vines
Oh no, not the toilet discussion again! haha
My pets for the last 12 years have been my 2 lovebirds.
I had to take 1 to the vet last year because he was holding up his leg and not wanting to stand on it. Luckily it wasn’t anything drastic, but I did have to give him liquid anti-inflamatory for a week or so. After giving it to him the first time, he realized it didn’t taste so good – which made medicine time for the next week quite the birdy battle.
But that was the only time either one of them had to go to the vet.
Thanks for the tip Brynhildr. I’m still a little naive here still – next thing you know I will be helping Jason find a job in a cheese factory. Just still getting to know everyone – slow learner….
@brynhildr – Adam baseball tournament or Mafia. we can talk off line need be.
OK, time to take the pup to the dog park, y’all are getting into toilet humor an antagonizing Jason. I think I’ve run out of Velveeta jokes.
Shiny Rod — My attitude towards pets has changed drastically over the years. Looking back, I don’t think the dogs I had while growing up got the best treatment. We never abused them, but they were outside dogs, never allowed to come in the house because my mom was a clean freak back then. And we didn’t pay nearly enough attention to them, though we were quite sad when they died.
My brother was still living with my mom when one day, he told her he was going to get a Dachsund and she better get ready. My mom thought he was kidding, but the next day, my brother came home with the puppy and my mother fell in love. All of a sudden, it was OK that the dog stayed inside. Eventually, the dog developed back problems and ended up a paraplegic, but she has a wheelchair and seems to have adapted to her situation even though she’s very old and not much longer for this world. My brother can’t bring himself to have her put down.
My sister rescued a boxer from a neglect situation a few years ago, and he ended up being a wonderful companion. He was a cranky old slobbery curmudgeon, but loyal and protective of the family. When he had to be put down due to painful liver failure, we were all devastated. My sister called me while I was out Christmas shopping to tell me what had happened and I stood there in Old Navy bawling. It’s not the same reaction I’d have had years ago. Scooter and Sammy changed us for the better.
First thing I do when I get up every morning is grab a box of golf balls off the bookshelf and dump them in the toilet. As they’re being sucked down I chant, “U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” while I’m thrusting my fist in the air.
I had a Scotty about 15 years ago named Willie Nelson (also happens to be the name of my penis) and he got hit by a delivery truck. I haven’t had another dog since. Plus I have two little girls and another baby on the way, so it just doesn’t seem like a good idea right now.
Let’s see, I spent $5,000 bailing a friend out of jail not too long ago. He was caught with a trunk full of moonshine. His lawyer argued that it wasn’t moonshine at all, just ethanol that hadn’t been denatured yet. Honest mistake. It worked. And now he’s back to making rot gut. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Last summer, the back porch roof was leaking. The contractor figured I needed a new roof. He tore the roof off, and the plywood was rotted. He tore the plywood off, and the rafters had rotted. He looked through to the wooden ceiling, and yes, it had rotted, too. He poked around on the paneling inside. You guessed it: rotted. So… new drywall, rafters, plywood, moisture barrier,shingles, carpet, and molding, 4 coats of paint, and new venitian blinds. My $100 job ended up being close to $4000.
Brynhildr, I inherited my “dogs is family” attitude from my mom. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my dog. When Louie started with the septic bacterial arthirits (before we knew that was what it was) we had to leave him overnight in emergency. The symptoms he had were exactly the same as our friend’s Swissy had a few months before and she passed away (she was 8 months old and they never figured out what killed her). I cried all the way home (my husband even teared up). The emergency people were awesome and gave me a direct phone number and told me to call anytime. Yeah, well I called at midnight, 2, 4 and 6. I didn’t sleep all night. He’s my baby! The next day I was online googling his symptoms and called the doctor suggesting septic bacterial arthritis. He laughed and said “Yep, that’s what he has”. Through tears of joy, I wrote a check for $3500 – almost all of what was left of my severance package after being laid off 2 months prior. I didn’t care – my dog was gonna be okay!
My brother in law always says Louie hit the jackpot the day we picked him up! I don’t have any human kids, just 2 legged (macaw) and 4 legged.
Hey – they can’t wreck my car and don’t need to be put through college. I’m not as dumb as I look!
Brynhildr-
Ditto…as a kid I was allergic to dogs and cats and a whole lot of other stuff. Jippy stayed out back, chained to a big cork screw in the ground by his dog house. I’d go back and visit and paly a bit, take him his Gains Burger (yuck) every night and do the fresh water. I’m sure he’d rather been running the bases with me in the backyard. I feel like crap to this day about his life. Stanley The Grey Dog lived to just shy of 17 and a low maintainence road buddy….maybe $500 over the years. Paid ten bucks for him in Portland, around ’75. Harriette (aka Poop-Doggie -Dog) was free and is healthy, three, a sweetie and my buddy. She’s got 13 acres and two ponds to her own. When a friend brought her to me, she was two months old and had a piece of ten gauge wire around her neck. YIKES!!! The ‘owner’ insisted I keep some stupid name she gave her and give visiting rights to her grandchildern. I’m not usually that rude on the phone but I think she got the message. Spaying at 3mos is the only real bucks out for her. Shots and Heartguard is about it. Guess I’m a lucky fellow. Still feel bad about Jippy…he was cool. As a kid I just didn’t know, I guess. Lots of backyard dogs around there back then.
I inherited a 14 year old English Springer Spaniel from a friend, who had to move and was going to her put down. I forbade it, and took her. Things went downhill from there. Took her to the vet for a physical. She was prescribed a form of doggie Celebrex for hip arthritis, at a dollar a pill per day, fish oil for heart, or whatever, and all kinds of other stuff. She was on more medication that I was. Even with all the problems, she was the best friend I ever had, and will ever have. Rest in peace, Maggiegirl. I’ll always love you. I had an individual cremation ($200), and she’s with me today in an urn placed in front of her photo. I sent my favorite pic of her to stamps dot com, and they made actual postage stamps with her picture on them. Cool!
Dropped about $3K (90,000 NTD) on laser tatoo removal for the wife. It’s a pretty painful procedure, so I can’t get too mad at her for getting the damn thing in the first place. And it takes several visits. You would think that lasers could do a better job than that. I mean, they’re lasers for chissake. Jeezum crow.
Jason – I may have mentioned it before but your wife’s a Saint.
@ Tyrosine: “…dance through the gauntlet of sodomy…” A little pee on that one! HA! Maybe that’s what happened to that deer butt on Further Evidence.
@ Garrett: If your gonna have that high end terlet, gotta have the same music piped in from the YouTube video so you can bust a move while you bust a move.
I agree the American Standard Champion 4 is an well flushing toilet. It has a temperamental flush valve though. Also, no OSB or particleboard at all. OSB and particleboard are the worst things to put in areas with water. I think the building code should forbid rhem in kitchens and baths. For that matter I think the building code should forbid them everywhere. Get an elongated bowl on the toilet too. I don’t install round bowls.
Do not silicon around the toilet the entire way. Putting silicon around the toilet keeps urine from getting under the toilet when guys miss. But it does a much better job or rotting out the floor. Silicon around the front and sides and leave the rear open so you can see water when the wax ring fails. Our inspection dept here has a hardon for siliconing around the entire toilet.
Here is a report that is updated regularly. It was originally started because of the confusion of low flow toilets. These guys use artificial poo to test it. Page 32+ is where the best toilets ranking starts. You should basically concern yourself with column 5 of the report because that is the amount of artificial poo that it flushed. 1000 grams was the most they tested this year so the test stops at 1000 grams. Get a toilet with 1000 in column 5.
Al
Forgot the link:
http://www.cwwa.ca/pdf_files/MAP%2013th%20Edition%20-%20February%202009.pdf
I know I’m late coming through here, and sorry to spoil the “spending” mood, but I have lost two jobs in the past year and have not SEEN $1K in a VERY long time, much less had anything “extra” to spend (have not been able to pay my bills for the past THREE MONTHS).. Extremely depressing, and why do I feel like I am even more alone now, after reading these…?
Apologies…carry on…
$1400 after my drive shaft literally dropped out of my Land Rover on I-59 last Monday. Nearly had a heart attack before I was able to pull over to the shoulder of the road. It bounced off the road and managed to do some exhaust damage in the process. Good times.
leanne — “Adam baseball tournament or Mafia” Huh? Lost me.
@ Taiwan On – The only memories of my ex I have left are all grown now.
About that new toilet?
You know how when you use the facilities
at your parents/ grandparents house
and they have those puffy toilet seats?
I SOOOO want to install one
but I avoid it like the minivan.
It is the equivalent of caving in
to comfort .. from there?
Retirement.
However if YOU install a puffy seat
then I will feel so much better
about installing MY puffy seat.
Since you are in the market
I feel obligated to acquire excuses.
I say “install one”
.. but honestly I realize
It is more of an add-on
@ Brynhildr – That really tore me up. Most dogs we had enjoyed a full life except for our dog Brownie. She got loose and tried to cross a busy street by herself. She didn’t make it. When I came home from school, my mother told me what had happened and that they had to put her to sleep. On a more personal note, I would not be here posting this if it were not for my dog Lassie. I was a very precotious tot and always followed my bigger brother around. I have to tell the story from my brothers point of view because I was to young to remember what happen. We always played along a cove section of the Delaware River in Burlington NJ. One cold frosty morning after the snow we were at the rivers edge playing on the ice. I ventured out a little further than my brother would go taunting him to chase me. I slipped and fell through the ice. My brother and his friends just stood there in shock as I was starting to be carried down the river. I don’t know where Lassie came from but jumped into the river and grabbed me with her teeth and pulled me back to shore against the current. I started coughing and spit out the water and started breathing again as a friend of the family came with a blanket and took me home.
Did also mention the 17 grand for knee surgery, thankfully the insurance paid for that or I’d sill be hobbling around with a busted knee.
Dogs are awesome. I miss mine so much.
Just dropped about 1300 dollars for the wives Nissan Xtera. Before the People’s Republic of California would give us the tags we had to have the car smogged. The cataletic sp? converter was shot and had to be replaced and than smogged afterwards. On top of that my wife works for the state and has lost nearly 15 percent of her salary because of unpaid furlough days. Thanks Arnie!
Bought a new bed yesterday. 1500 bucks. Better not strain under my girth…
@Brynhildr – trying to understand comments on here – maybe you know people better. Adam commented he bought firecrackers and a bat last wknd trying to figure out the correlation of what’d you do with both. – Assuming both under $1000.
@ Anonymous
I hear ya
ON-THE-JOB
While trying to verify between fraud and authentic orders
I sometimes creep into strangers personal biz.
Last credit card payment $10,000
THE HELL?
Yes a last payment on one account that I was verifying was 10G’s like it was lying on the floor.
I was the one on the floor.
CitizenX – everything goes on my aerogold – racks me up a few 1000 points a month – good for travels.
I skipped most of the comments before I posted my tat story (late for work). Now that I read the rest of the comments, I find I have a pet story that relates.
My ex-wife (not the current tat removal wife) had two dogs (mother and daughter) when I married her. She loved them (more than she loved me) and eventually I grew fond of them as well. The mother dog died of old age, so my ex grew extremely protective of the remaining daughter dog.
My ex got invited to her high school reunion and decided to go. She would be away for 9 days. Her last instructions to me were “Take care of Mikol.” No problem. However, what we both failed to consider was that Mikol, a high strung canine, would have difficulties existing without my ex.
One morning, I got up and took Mikol out for a pee, then gave her some food and water. I petted her and her torso did not feel right. I checked into it further and her entire torso was pumped up like a basketball. And she looked a bit ill-at-ease (dogs don’t show pain very well). So I got her into the car and raced to the 24-hour vet. Phew, got her there so all is well. No. The vet comes out of the examination room and tells me that this is “a life or death situation”. WTF?
So now I raced to the Tufts ultra-veterinary pet hospital, where Mikol was rushed into surgery. A vet came out a few minutes later and told me surgery was required, and asked did I have $1500 (or whatever) for that surgery. What was I gonna do? It was 7AM and the ex was six time zones away. So I gave the go ahead.
Mikol made it through surgery, but not through recovery. So I screwed up my one responsibility of keeping the dog alive. And I had to call the ex later that day and explain it. Bad times.
I have had dogs and cats along with the few assorted vermin…white mice, gerbils, and what not, all my life. My parents were avid animal lovers. My father wouldn’t even go deer hunting because he couldn’t look Bambi in the eye before pulling the trigger.
Now, I have two pugs. They have been the loves of my life. Been with me through thick and thin. Through sickness, divorce’s, and death’s of my mother and husband.
I am especially fond of my eldest pug, Stella. She has a personality that won’t quit. (and two bug-eyes..one’s lookin at the moon, the other lookin’ at the sun…) A true diva….spoiled and pretentious. She dominates over the male pug, Bruno. If she thinks Bruno is dominating in any way, she quickly mounts him and air humps away. Hilarious. In the last house I lived in, it had a big picture window that faced the front street, sidewalk and all. The couch was right below it. They both would sit on the back of the couch watching the passersby. When Bruno would bark at someone, Stella, the control freak she is, would mount him and begin the ol’ dry hump dance in the window. She would go to town! People use to fall down laughing at the show the saw from the sidewalk. I pulled up to my house one day and while getting out of the car a couple walked by and said, “aren’t you the lady whose dogs do the nasty in the window?”
@ Taiwan On – Not true, you did everything humanly possible. Don’t beat yourself up on this, something we just can’t fix.
leanne,
BAT = Big Ass Television
In my book there are few things worse than the death of a pet.
@ Jason – or it could be Big Ass Truck, he would have needed one to carry the grand or more of fireworks he said he bought.
@ bikerchick – hilarious, “The Pug Show”, LMAO
Taiwan On — I can kinda relate. For a number of years, my family joked (sort of) that I couldn’t be trusted with their pets. Case #1: my oldest sister left me in charge of her daughters’ parakeet while they were on vacation. Since I didn’t want to drive 20 minutes each way to check up on it, she said I could bring it to my house. She neglected to tell me that parakeets don’t travel well and the next morning, I found the thing belly up at the bottom of the cage.
Case #2: I was dogsitting my brother’s Dachshund (1-2 years old at the time) and as I opened the door to take out the trash, she bolted from the couch and twisted her back when she hit the floor and rolled. And then she couldn’t move. I freaked. Had to bring her to an emergency clinic, where they kept her overnight for observation. She was OK the next day, nothing broken, but so began the back problems that led to her eventual paralysis.
Case #3: When my second sister asked me to dogsit her Boxer, I was living in a condo and usually left the 2nd floor balcony door open a few inches for air circulation in the summer. While I had my back turned, Sammy nudged the door open, stood up to get a view over the balcony rail, spotted my neighbor’s pit bull wandering the property unattended, and did a Kamikazi over the side into the bushes below to catch his prey. One scratched cornea and $500 (but no broken bones!) later, I had some splainin’ to do.
For the record there were a number of uneventful instances of petsitting in between.
leanne — I get it now. I’m a little slow on the uptake. Overlooked your earlier post.
bikerchick — Thanks. I needed the story about your Pugs to brighten my day. I envision hot sweaty Pug “sex”, both of them panting furiously with excitement (agitation), long curled tongues hanging out. I’d walk by your house often just to get a reaction from them.
Well, I’m not sure how we got to dogs, but here’s mine again. Meet Andy (no relation).
http://halfdillo.blogspot.com/2009/07/pics-of-andy-clickable.html
The biggest check I am likely to write in my life, was the last check I wrote for over $1K. In March of this year, wrote a check for $112K and change. Paid off our house with the inheritance I had gotten when my dad passed away. I am 38 with no mortgage payment…love you, Dad.
@ Garrett – I think it shifted when someone mentioned how much they had spent on dog surgery. Border Collie? I love those ears. Just click on my monicker and you will see my Ginger. She’s a Chow/Boxer mix I rescued from the shelter. More chow mentally that boxer. Loves to play catch (tennis balls, frisbee) and ride in my Jeep. Hates baths and thunderstorms as do most dogs.
Is the Wurstkoffer used for smuggling cured meats into the US? I would like to get one these and head through customs humming the Mission Impossible theme.
I wonder what Burt Reynolds is doing right now….
@ Dawn – Way to go, keep being debt free as Clark Howard says.
@ LHR – Is this what you are talking about?
http://www.baumarth.de/Wir_uber_uns/Kais_Seiten/Witziges/Wurstkoffer/Wurstkoffer.jpg
Thought I had seen the Bunker Cam shot before. It pays to have a little involvement in the music business.
http://bestof.provocateuse.com/show/grace_jones/99
@Rod. Nice pup. No Paris Hilton dogs here…. Yes, his ears are always that way….
I water trained Andy since he was little. You can’t keep him out of the H2O. He’ll swim till he almost drowns – even then he’ll find a spot where his hind legs can touch and just stand there, upright, and rest on two legs.
@ Brynhildr: My male pug, Bruno, did a Peter Pan off a second story deck at a friend’s cabin along the river. He was trying to follow me. Didn’t realize the sliding glass doors were open. Not one thing broken or out of place except for my urine when I saw him falling.
Another goodie…. I was talked into having one of those sex toy parties at my house for a friend of a friend. I had about 15 horny chicks in my livingroom. My female pug, Stella, was roaming around visiting everyone. The Demonstrator for the party was flashing a set of anal beads, touting the benefits of them…(what the…?). As Stella rounds the corner by her she farts…LOUDLY! Not only did she clear the room, the poor demonstrator had to use all of her Strawberry Cooter Spray , or whatever, to “freshen” the room. One of the attendee’s remarked, “If that’s the stank that follows those beads after they’re yanked, I’ll pass”…
Wurstkoffer. Hee hee. That is so many kinds of wrong and repulsive, but it did make me laugh, as did the nature of the contents. All the adapters and sizes for any appetite. Would anyone like an “extension sausage with gimbal”? How about the slogan on the picture: “It’s all about the sausage”? I vaguely remember some man trying to use it as a pickup line once.
bikerchick — Classic. I was trying to switch my dog over to a new food, and during the transition, the mix of old and new gave her some pretty toxic gas. I was outside playing with her when she farted so loudly that she scared herself. I mean, the dog jumped about a foot off the ground, flinched, and ducked. Realizing the noise came from her own ass, she contorted her body round in a circle to get a better whiff. The expression on her face was priceless. And then the head jerking and sinus clearing began.
I have no idea what kind of a dog she is. The shelter said Bearded Collie mix. My sister swears she’s an Afghan mix. I say some variety of hound or pointer with either Giant Schnauzer or Standard Poodle thrown in. Perhaps Tyrosine can give her a doggie DNA test.
@Limey – that URL was sooo funny. thanks!
@Kevindust – how was STP last night? I’ve always wanted to see them.
@Karin – curious about those bats… did you watch to see if they tried to come back into your house another way? I’ve heard that they’re like homing pigeons – they’ll get back in another way if they can.
@Anonymous – chin up. I’ve been there and I count my blessings everyday. better times ahead for ya.
Brynhildr: That’s some funny shit! LMFAO!!
@ bikerchick – I could have went all day without know about strawberry cooter spray. Now my day is ruined. Will someone come in here and get me off the floor. Thank you! Now I’m gonna need a percocet…
Did they use an air powered spud bar? It’d help speed up the tile removal, that’s for sure. Most people just use a rubber mallet.
I hope they double checked your subfloor stability before installing anything new. If they found a NEST hiding there, Lord only knows what else there could be.