Limited Visibility
I drove home Wednesday morning in a Biblical downpour. I got off work at 2:30, and there was a menacing feel in the air; everything was dead still, and it smelled like ocean.
And almost as soon as I merged onto the interstate, to begin my 35 mile journey home, it started raining dogs and UPS drivers. I mean, this was like Georgia rain, or Mississippi rain, or something along those lines. And it just wouldn’t stop. Usually you can drive out of it, but this storm was either extra-large, or following me up I-81 – just to be a smart-ass.
There wasn’t much traffic at that time of the morning, but the few unfortunates on the road were moving cautiously, at no faster than 50 mph. I had my wipers on the highest setting, possibly for the first time ever, and was afraid they were going to fly off and go sailing into the woods.
That shit was whippin’.
A few people lost their nerve and pulled off the road with their emergency flashers going. I imagined them inside their vehicles having a good cry, then calling their wives to bring them fresh underwear and ointment.
But I soldiered on. Like in snowstorms I fell in behind a tractor trailer, and used it as a guide. If there’s nobody in front of me, I’m always concerned I’ll drive straight off the highway in such situations. I figure those guys know what they’re doing, and are fully awake on coffee and goofballs.
The rain was hammering the top of my car, and running like a thousand creeks across the roadway. A couple of times I hydroplaned, and I’m not really a fan of it. When all four of your wheels are pointed in a certain direction, yet the car is moving in a different direction, it’s not good. It’s not good at all.
If I don’t stop at McDonald’s (which I do half the time), I always pull into our driveway at 3:07, 3:08, or 3:09. It’s amazingly consistent. But on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, it was 3:27 as I exited the interstate. Driving with your sphincter all cinched-up apparently requires a little extra time.
I decided to pay our all-night McDonald’s a visit, and the cashier and I did our standard dance.
“Can I take your order?”
“Yeah, I’ll have a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit!”
“We’re not accepting credit cards.”
WTF? “That’s OK, I’ve got cash.” (And who buys a single biscuit on time?)
“So, that’s one sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit?”
“Yeah!” …just to confirm it once again.
“Drive forward to the second window.”
And when I get up there she always says, “Oh, it’s only you.” That really makes a person feel good, ya know? For one thing, I’m a recognized middle-of-the-night regular at a McDonald’s in northeastern Pennsylvania (how did it happen??). And what does she mean, only you?
I scarfed down my cannonball of fat, while driving through the rain to our house.
I usually let Andy out when I get home, but he was having none of it. I guess it had been thundering, and our hound was staying low to the ground, like a bear rug. I held the front door open, as an offer of good will, but he just turned his back to it. Funk dat, I thought I heard him say.
I went downstairs and plugged in my cell phone and my iPod, popped open a Yuengling lager (then another), and monkeyed around on the internet for forty-five minutes with George Noory playing in the background.
After I’d had enough of that excitement, I made my way up to the dormancy chamber, and noticed it wasn’t raining anymore. I climbed atop the platform, Toney rolled over irritably, and I heard birds chirping outside the window.
And that’s one of the weirdest things about working my freaky hours: going to sleep as the birds are waking up.
But whatever.
Filed under: Daily
First? No shit?
I drove home through the same storm in Indy on tuesday morn. Indy has horrible sewers and the streets turn to o-chins. Emerson at washington especially. Lake Speedway I’ll call it. I got passed by a cop with sirens but damned if I was pulling over into the abyss.
The worst part was that when I got to my place I couldn’t sleep because the thunder and the rain blowing into my room.
It was a long morning.
What’s weird is, just like Jeff, when I left work it was fine, but in less than 10 minutes it was catsing rain and dogs.
We had all that rain yesterday. Sucked
Mat in Florence, is that in KY?
If so, hello Neighbor. I’ll be in Florence Y’all tomorrow.
T
Two Saturdays ago (July 26th) I was pushing cars out of a street intersection because of a sudden lightening storm. I’d have preferred not to, but it’s part of my job.
So much hard rain had fallen in so little time that the street had flooded. A small strip of asphalt was visible in the western lane, the eastern lane and the intersecting street were under water.
It’s so weird to see a car floating and bobbing in a current of water. Thunder was booming all around, the lightning flashes reminded me of a strobe light gone mad. The rain felt like hail and despite my raingear and boots I was throughly soaked when I had finished. Drivers in trucks were forging ahead through the water. Their wake was landing on top of the cars stuck in the intersection. About a half-hour later the sun broke through the clouds, the rain stopped and the water drained away.
Good morning!
We’ve had some of that crazy-shit rain here lately too. Mostly every weekend when I’m either loading or unloading my kids’ crap at anpther muddy camp. Yeah, that’s fun.
Or when I’m driving on the interstate and cars everywhere have pulled off to ride it out. You’re right about the clenched sphincter stuff.
Well It is nice to find the “new” WVSR” and be in the top ten.. I think I need an ack up here in Boston. Been raining for days it seems….
Once again, I like that the update is right there when you open the page. It makes my blackberry reading so much easier. I do the same when it rains by falling behind a big truck, figureing that if there’s something to hit in the road that he or she can take it out for me. The thing is our rain in Alabama the last 2 years has been weak to not at all.
It is odd going to bed when you know everybody else is about to get up. Ya’ll have a good day.
Argh! It’s my friday and its feeling like a Monday. I really like the new format btw. Hasn’t rained here in OK in a while, it usually prefers to only rain tornados. But thats what keeps us hoppin I guess, got to bed only to wake up in a vortex of tree debris and your neighbors buick tumbling through a field only stopping when you hit an electric fence that still works even thought the power is out in 9 counties. WTF! Sorry bad day already.
What’up with this fecal matter. Now I can never, ever be first?
I drove half way home in a storm just like that last night – 45mph on the interstate, and that was only when the cars in front of me weren’t slamming on the breaks. Then the sky turned blue, the sun came out, and the weather was perfect the rest of the way home.
Sweet! it really is 9 sumthin in the A.M.
…I leave for a few days and all of the sudden, everything is insane. Here in the outer banks of NC, vacation is going well, however, we have been getting rain every afternoon with huge thunderstorms.
What is this “rain” that you speak of? It sounds like water falling from the sky… We don’t get much of that in the Peoples Republic of Austin
C’mom! It’s 7:21 in the morning here – how could so many of you guys already have commented?!
Happy Thursday, Surfers!
gotta go back and read the update, now.
I used to work graveyard shift and stop on the way home for a “cannonball of fat ” and a couple of beers before hitting the sack.
I put on 40 lbs in two years that I’m still trying to lose eight years later.
Goofballs! Gawd, you’re old, Mr. Kay. Don’t think the kids call them that anymore and I laughed out loud at the reference (Health Class circa 1975? 76?)
Good Morning Surf Reporters…………
the early morning updates are well appreciated. Nothing like starting off my day with a coffee, a cool smoke, a thumping head and a West Virginia Surf Report.
Enjoy the day, folks. I only have 10 more hours off this chit….
Yeah when it’s raining cats and UPS drivers and I’m all aquaplaning and shit, I like to grab a McDonald’s to scoff while driving. WTF – trying to become a greasestained stat?
New site is MUCH better on a PocketPC BTW.
Damn we can’t buy rain here in SC
I don’t think he was eating Mickey D’s while driving on the Interstate. He said that he had just gotten off the Interstate in his town of residence. Therefore he was NOT eating at the wheel, drafting off of a semi-truck.
The storm must have turned south and slowed down. It is all over Roanoke, VA right now. New site is great.
We still call ‘em goofballs.
I can remember being at Civil War reenactments in my little A frame tent like that. Amazing I survived.
I smell fresh update!!!
I am in Central Fl and it has finally stopped raining here. We have had huge T-storms daily for the past 2-3 weeks. The grass is so healthy and growing faster then you can cut it.
These early, frequent posts are spoiling us. If this is because of the new format, I’m even more in favor. Course it does screw with my afternoon schedule now.
Just to set the record straight, I purchased the cannonball of fat a half-mile from our house; I didn’t eat it while driving down the interstate.
But, of course, it wouldn’t have been a problem if I had. Because when it comes to fast food, I’m very accomplished. And if worse comes to worst I can always just have one of Sunshine’s scone racks retrofitted to accommodate a bikket.
What are goofballs?
If anyone has some spare rain, would you send it to NC please? We’re fresh out.
Again.
Hydroplaning can be some dangerous chit. A friend’s husband did just that, slammed into a truck, the airbag deployed and drove his galsses right into his face. A few eeks of recovery and two plastic surgeries later, and he came out of it only half blind in one eye.
I suppose one would indeed ‘eek’ if one was recovering from dire injury. More than a few times, probably.
Sheesh. It’s ‘weeks.’
Where the heck did our rain go, I wanna know! We were supposed to get hammered with the remnants of that tropical storm and it made its merry way on north of us. Bastard.
Ma’am, do you have to keep talkin’ about rain?
Let’s talk about me, wanna here about me?
I don’t throw food and I try not to talk through my nose.
In the past 4 weeks we have only had 4 days with no rain.
I go to Toronto for a few days and come back to this!! I knew I’d have some catchin up to do but you went and renovated the whole house while I was gone! I like it.
Nine Inch Nails concert review: One of the top five all time best live bands I’ve ever seen. On par with Tool and Pearl Jam (the highest praise I can give) Sound was incredible, the band itself was mindblowing, awesome setlist covering old and new, topped off with the best light show I’ve ever seen. I contemplated bringing mushrooms for the show…now I’m glad I didn’t, it would have been too much. Simply excellent.
Celebrity meetings: lined up for an autograph session with Sevendust in 2001. Despite having just played a full contact, kick ass set in the blistering July heat, they sat and talked with every last person in line, recognized us from the front row of the pit, signed everything we put in front of them, and laughed when I told them I lost my virginity to an American girl in the very field we were standing in. (A true story, I’ll always love Oswego Speedway, NY!!)
Speaking of those truck drivers on caffeine and goofballs (that must be what the kids are calling em now).
I was doing a midnight burn from Atlanta to Savannah a few months back and got caught in a hailstorm. Well everyone was cruising at about 35 in hopes that death has a minimum speed limit and one of those assholes blazed past me at about 75 mph. This douche was blasting his horn and made it real obvious that he was irritated with our reasonable speed.
About twenty minutes later I drove past the asshole as he had slid his truck into a nice ditch. So I honked enthusiastically and signaled that I thought he was #1.
Hmm, the more of that story I told the less relevant it seemed. Oh well.
I’ll tell you who is a super huge ass, that’s William Shatner. I saw him at a book store in Atlanta once. He’s lucky I didn’t have a wooden mallet with me because I would have used it to smash his collar bones.
Hey…. Tammie, wish me a happy birthday! I’ll see ya in the tree this evening
test
Ok I just had two e-mailes from our leader and it was my screw up. I had a bad e-mail address entered.
That explains the test above.
Tony Tony Tony – I use to live in nap town. I remember a few of those times when Fall Creek would over flooded it’s banks. Especially, over around the State Fair grounds all the way up to 56th st.
Ah, I didn’t realise it was only pissing it down on the 100ft wide strip that is I-81 and all the local roads were safe for nightime McDonald’s scoffing at the wheel. My bad.
Kevindust – you should have taken the mushrooms. I saw Pearl Jam pre-Ten release and they sucked. Saw them again a couple of years later after all the hype – and they still sucked. They’ve made some decent records but live? No.
Nothing to see here folks. Just getting ready to be able to do some shoutin’ out in the near future.
Hey “only you”… “sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit” is probably code for a bag of hash or a handfull of goofballs. You’re messing with their dealings. =-)
BTW, the redirect from the old site isn’t working today. I had to go routing through my history for ‘the new’ url. Might want to make a link for the old place pointing to the new place.
RainX. Works great.
Man – I am really wondering about those “scrotal hives” you mentioned.
I hope you never really have to endure that particular distress.
Kevindust –
I have to second that on the NIN concert. I saw them in Seattle on the 29th. It was my fourth time seeing them and they NEVER disapoint. The lights just keep getting better and better. Your right about the mushrooms though, i had a head full of fungus for the show i saw at the Gorge in Washington State and it was a little much. Not too much, but it was pretty intense. I’ve seen a lot of bands and have never heard anyone with as good of sound, lights, emotion, everything is just amazing.
Hey !
It’s ‘new news’
LOVE IT !
so now pass me a guiness please
So what do you think about Forbes mag ranking our beloved Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area in the Top Ten of Dying Cities Jeff?
Seems to have lots of the locals here throwing hissyfits…..when they aren’t turning blue over the property reassessment debacle.
Lurve the new look and I’m guessing the updates are coming in earlier these days. I’ve been a little confused since I switched to Firefox and all my usual haunts got re-sorted into alphabetical order (as opposed to the order I normally check them). I’m working on it…..
ETW – “Lurve“. You sound just like Celine Deion.
What??? I don’t have to go to another page to continue reading?
I’m confused, I don’t quite understand rss fees and shit, is there two web-sites? Somebody help!
Welcome to WordPress — you’ll love it. Um, I guess now I can tell you that I really hated the old layout.
Yeah.
As a new fan I have to say there are a whole bunch of dedicated followers who don’t know where to find you! You need to get the message out through the old site!
Dammit most of us lead lives so bad we can only aspire to be you in the next one! For the love of God tell yourpeople where you are:)
Hey bossinjo,
The link to the feeds is at the top right of the page.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/Thewvsrcom
Am I missing something? Does TheWVSR(.com) have a new URL and my ‘puter is just that good it automatically knows the correct address…or has the address not changed and I don’t know WTF these people are talking about? I mean, I’ve only been visiting for more than 4 years (since the start of the ‘fuck’ report) and have NEVER had a problem finding it.
Alex, I have to agree with your RainX statement. As the original stuff is almost more of a pain in the ass than it’s worth, I use the washer fluid additive. Don’t use their pink washer fluid…it’s crap. The milky stuff that’s added to regular washer fluid (or water) however, that shit ROCKS! (and how does that work, if you add the stuff to water, should’t the water come flying out of the reservoir or something? An{d}yway…)
out, y’all
Ah!! I see! The old site is …/index.htm and the new is …/index.php. Gotcha! If you just type in ‘thewvsr.com’ there shouldn’t be any problem. Again, An{d}yway…
Late
Going to bed when birds are chirping is one of the queerest feelings ever (queer as in odd, not same sex sex) always reminds me of coming off of acid, the sun is coming up..your body is exhausted from nancy & nostril like unshaved hippie dancing all night but your mind is racing like a shizo meth head. Almost as if the birds are mocking your sleep.
The old man and I worked opposite shifts from the time our secret was born till he started school so we never had to leave him with a sitter and I always worked the late shift. You need a good 2 hours of unwinding till you can hit that platform and even then its still hard.
LAST!
http://thewvsr.com
pagan, I know it’s a problem, but I’m currently unable to make changes to the FrontPage site. My webhost is working on it, but I have no access whatsoever. I want to go on there and post a link, and hopefully I’ll be able to do that soon.
btw, I’m going to be spending the day working on an extracurricular writing project, so there will be no Friday update. If I get a burst of energy, I might post one on Saturday. There’s a lot of stuff in the Big Notebook of Fun.
see ya.
I just spurted.
i lnew this daily update stuff was just temporary, but as always we will wait. have a good weekend jeff
I drove from Indy to Detroit in a rainstorm just like that back in 1993. i couldn’t see a foot in front of me, but some people were just sailing past, as I bareknuckled it and stuck right behind somebody else willing to risk the ire of impatient people by going slowly. And trust me, driving slowly is not something I ever do.
I like to follow semi’s in bad weather. I figure if they need to stop 2 things will happen.
I’ll stop first and they’ll punch a hole in anything that might be in way.
When I used to keep a CB in the car the truck drivers I talked with were fine with it. Even if I screwed up and rear ended them it was better than the other way around.
@Jimmy Kuhn
We knew you would.
I think I did too.
You just made the Saturday Early Morning Show! Congratulations! It was your fast food study and they called it anticipointment. Way to go Jeff!
What the?!
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
just sitting in a deserted dealership, looking for that burst of energy……..
I’m gonna’ check out CBS website, see if I can find a link……
Saturday Update…Saturday Update……..Saturday Update….Saturday update!!!!!
Man’o'man, that CBS website…..geez. No wonder they’re always suckass in the ratings. Did they have the least creative person on the planet cobble that thing out of a sheet of shale? I’m not even tech savvy. Guess I’ll have to go to google.
Can’t find any links. A little help yo?