In Advance Of White Line Fever
It’s been so humid in the Upper Perogie Belt, our clothes have to be 100% dry (burned to a turn) or they go musty and smell like a wash cloth that’s been hanging on the rack for a couple of days. And I can’t have that.
A few days ago I was getting ready for work, and grabbed a shirt from the dryer: full-on rancid musk. I pulled everything else out of there, and it was the same situation. And they’d only been neglected for thirty minutes or so, everything had gone funky in a very short period of time.
So, a large load of laundry went from the washer, to the dryer, back into the washer, and into the dryer again. The same clothes. And I was forced to wear some stupid shirt that’s been out of the starting lineup for many months, with a collar that refused to respect the authority of an iron.
I’m not really a fan of the hot, humid, rampaging-musk days of summer. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before…
A good sign, though: Toney saw someone at Wegmans yesterday building a display of pumpkin ale. And if that’s not a sure sign of autumn, I don’t know what is. When pumpkin ale starts arriving in the stores, there’s light at the end of the sweaty-buttcrack tunnel. I think Billy Graham first said that.
I moved Gran Torino to the top of my Netflix queue, because it was listed as “very long wait.” Therefore it shipped on the same day… Makes sense, huh? But what did you think of it? Am I going to like it? Don’t ruin it for me, but let’s hear your quickie review.
And is carrying an umbrella poofter? I kinda think it is. I keep one in my car, in case of an emergency, but would never carry it around with me. I’d rather get soaked, completely, than sashay through the streets with a parasol over my forearm. What’s your thoughts on it?
And what else falls into the “possibly effeminate” bucket? Drinking straws, perhaps? My Dad used to call them sissy sticks, and I refused to use them for years. But recently I started thinking about all the hundreds of quivering disease-lips that have been pressed against restaurant glasses. So, I’ve thrown manliness to the wind, and have started drawing fluids up a plastic pipe. Is that so wrong?
Here’s something I received from our old friend Buck:
Okay dude, only you can properly assess what the hell was happening here, through your vast WVSR network.
Two women with whom I work attended a fancy pants fundraiser this week. It was a high-brow function requiring they wear either white or black—nothing else. It was a dress-up affair with cocktail dresses and whatnot–largely a flock o single women. It sounds like one of those deals where you’re required to hoist your novelty drink with a pinkie raised—you know what I mean.
Okay, amid the trappings of this thing there was a “sushi TENT” WTF? Anyway, she tells me she doesn’t like sushi, but went to the tent to see this for herself. In the tent, there was a man, LYING ON THE TABLE wearing nothing but leaves covering his junk…and all the way up his arms and on his legs and torso were pieces of sushi. He laid there, motionless, for the duration of the event. She said nobody actually took the sushi off his body, since there was a full table of it surrounding him. She said she’d heard of this, but never in WV.
I have NEVER heard of such a thing PERIOD. Have you? Have you ever heard of a human being transformed into a piece of furniture–especially one used as a food service device? What’s next, a naked man whose penis is pulled to draw beer from his asshole tap?
I just cannot comprehend such a thing and it sounded like a subject you would most assuredly want to explore on your website.
Yeah, I got nothing. I’ve never heard of such a thing, either. I asked Toney, and she said she HAD, but believes it’s usually a naked woman… you know, lying on a table covered in individual servings of sushi.
I have to agree with Buck’s reaction: WTF? Can any of you shed some light on this bizarreness? What in the pearl-handled heck??
Those Japanese just never stop, do they?
And this is it for the week, boys and girls. We’re taking our quickie trip to West Virginia today, and won’t be back until Sunday evening. A long weekend filled with lots of driving…
I’ve spoken with the T-Shirt Lady a couple of times about our upcoming retro reproduction shirts, and she’s ready to go. We’ve been taking pre-orders for a couple of weeks now, so I’m going to make this WV weekend the end of it.
I’ll probably order a limited number of extras, but if you really want one, you should order now. On Monday or Tuesday I’m going to get the ball rolling, and all bets will be off. Here’s your order link.
Also, I’d really appreciate it if you guys could post something about the Convenience Story eBook at Twitter while I’m away. In fact, here’s what I’ll do…
If you post something about the book on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday – and link to this page: http://tinyurl.com/no7olg – I’ll put your Twitter name into a hat, and draw two at random. And whoever is chosen will receive a FREE Evil Twin jumpin’ catfish shirt, in whatever size you choose.
But remember, it has to be at Twitter, and there has to be a link that appears exactly like this: http://tinyurl.com/no7olg. I’ll use Twitter Search to find out who mentioned it, and the link will have to be exact or I might miss it.
So, there ya go. I’ll tell you about our trip when we get back, and I hope you have a great weekend.
See you on Monday.
Filed under: Daily
It is impossible to drink from a straw and still look manly.
I sashay proudly with my poofter umbrella. I come from the city of Seattle originally or something, and we invented Bumbershoot, fags, and the sashay with umbrella and a mug of motherfucking Starbucks.
Was Fucking Mary Poppins a poofter, I think not. A great Horror movie mashup, I think so.
Jeff, you are back on point. Keep up the fine work, Sir!
I laughed, I cried, I commented.
Greg
If you drink from restaurant glasses you will get herpes, get pregnant(yes men too) and DIE.
Fourth, what the hell am I doing up a 3:30 in the morning. Oh thats right 7 page report due this weekend.
Naked sushi, WTF Buck, your great man but you must try the sushi, good stuff. I will be get my sushi fix tomorrow for lunch. Actually, I prefer Sashimi. Shiny out…
3am insomnia yet I make the top ten once again! Jeff, yes I’ve heard of sushi being served on a person, but I’d sure as hell never touch it since I also drink with a straw. OCD once again rears it’s ugly head. Also, never drop the lemon wedge into your water–just squeeze and discard. You never know what germs are lurking on it!
black socks with shorts is pretty poofter
lime with beer, unbelievably poofter, it’s beer for chrissakes.
chopsticks, swizzle sticks, novelty shotglasses, anything containing the word schnapps.
Guys drinking rose wine is considered (by some) to be very unmanly – although I know a few men who do!
I saw on Come Dine With Me: a contestant/host had a guy lay on the dining table in his underwear and lay canapes – which could, in fact, have been sushi – on his bare & hairy (!?!) chest!
I don’t think he got too many points for his night!
Eating sushi off naked people has become quite popular in Japan and is quickly spreading through Japan. When your platter is a female is it called nyotaimori and when your platter is a male it is called nantaimori. In bondage clubs, the platter may have its arms and legs bound.
Because the sushi is presented on a person, it warms up to body temperature and allows the diner to fully experience the complex tastes and textures of the sushi.
Naked sushi models are so 2004, but that just goes to show you how far behind WV is. Plus, the majority of the models are women given that most women are germaphobes and probably wouldn’t touch food that had been touching a stranger, no matter how good-looking he was. Men… not so picky if the woman is attractive. And men eating off of men… well that’s just gay, now isn’t it? A few folks at the firm I used to work for had joked about having a naked sushi model (female of course) at a big corporate event I was managing, but the fear of lawsuits ended that discussion pretty quickly. They wanted me to find out how much one would cost just for shits and giggles, but I refused. (Don’t worry — the boys club mentality is still alive and well in the financial industry.)
I would eat sushi off a man…as long as it was Mr.Man…
I think you’ll like Gran Tarino…the previews for it look promising. I plan to check it out.
I did the alcoholic death thing and it says I’d need 26 Yuenglings but only 21of the Sam Adams Summer Ale.
I did note that there was no Magic Hat listed there and was disappointed. I would love to know how many #9′s it would take to drop me…
Hope you have a good trip Jeff and prepare yourself for more hot, sticky weather…it’s been hotter than four fat chicks crammed in a Volkswagen….
btw Jeff — Gran Torino is an excellent film. I was a little uncomfortable about the language used, but once the story got going, I understood why it was necessary. At some point though, all of Clint Eastwood’s mumbling and grumbling started to seem excessive, and it got on my nerves. However, all the other aspects of the film more than made up for it. My father, on the other hand, didn’t like the movie very much, but my guess is that it was like looking in a mirror for him. His comment: the ending was wrong. I totally disagreed.
Gran Torino was a good movie that will keep your attention but the end was not typical for Clint. Not predictable…good, unfulfilling…bad. Sushi…good, served on anything other than clean plate….bad.
Am I the only one who thinks twitter is gay? I absolutely refuse to buy in and can’t stand how much it’s referenced these days.
Naked sushi model? Sounds like somebody was watching the Sex and the City movie while planning their WV party and wanted to make it all Californiafancy.
I will give some thought to what makes a man look like a poofter. Nothing comes to mind immediately, as this is something to which I have not given much thought since about the sixth grade.
Jeff, Grand Torino will remind you of growing up in Dunbar…GUARANTEED.
Like I said, this party with the nekkid fellow with sushi on his balls was for chicks only—- Wonder what would happen if somebody had used him to rub out a cigarette. THAT would have been worth the price of admission.
Buck Out
I loved Gran Torino. Very original . Eastwood has the best racist quotes I’ve ever heard. You can’t help but laugh! I haven’t met anyone who didn’t like it. Also, those sushi naked chick restuarants have been around for a while. I think the Japanese started it and the west just thought: Naked, women food, Lets do it! Normally a nude girl though.
Probably shouldn’t have had those beers before posting….Sorry for that!!!
Pumpkin Ale…disgusting at least Buffalo Bills was and that pretty much ruined me ever trying anything like it again. It also seems a touch poofter.
Carrying an umbrella-poofter
Sushi off a chick cool, sushi off a dude-poofter. I prefer my nigiri off the little wooden plate with an ice cold Kirin.
@Wisey-You’re not alone, twitter, tweets and retweets…WTF! It’s gayer than an umbrella carrying dude drinkin’ pumpkin ale and eating sushi from another dudes ball sack. But then again I don’t really know how it works so anything I don’t understand is just stupid, gay or both. Don’t judge me dammit!
Have yet to see Gran Torino.
Poofter things…
Twitter, its the name. Its too close to diddle. Don’t beleive me? Next time you’re talking about Twitter replace the word twitter with diddle. Its still works but now you’re a pervert.
Ale’s with fruit or vegetables in their names, actually Ale period. Drink Lager, its for men.
Umbrellas “There’s something wrong with a man who can’t get a little nature on his face” I don’t know who said it, but its true, not to mention that they are portable lightning attractants.
I can’t imagine how much a dude would get paid for hours to lay on a table with raw fish on his body. What if you had to pee or fart (am I allowed to say that?)? What if one of the women there turned you on and the little guy noticed? GROSS!
@Wisey and WB in OH – Completely agree on the Twitter issue!
With our humidity here…I completely sympathize on the mildew issue. Wish I had a solution, but rewash is the best way to go. Nothing like humidity plastered summer hair and ring around the sweaty collar, either.
And I LOVE Netflix! Wish I’d thought of it. Well, that and the Snuggie.
Nothing is poofter if you do it with a manly swagger and burp a lot.
@White Trash Barbie
Californiafancy…I love that!
I’m going to start using that as much as possible.
I have to agree with that, nut sack nope, chick yeah. Plus, I like my sushi freshly cut and served cold on a wooden plate with plenty of wasbi, I love the burn. Gran Torino, haven’t seen it yet. Don’t do movies due to lack of dating. Wait to catch them on demand. But I do tweet and I am definitley not gay.
In response to the gay umbrellas. I worked outside as a telephone/internet installer for years. When it rains and you are climbing telephone poles you can’t tote a gay pink umbrella with you. I wore a good raincoat, hard hat, a good pair of rain pants and waterproof boots. Even in the hardest rain I rarely got wet. I work in the office now and at 35 just bought my first umbrella ever. It felt gay but I rarely use it and it is not pink. So in conclusion I think if its raining Chevys and Buicks its okay, just don’t try too look too much like a goober smoocher. Friday is almost here! MMMMMMM beeeer.
I think Mr.Man looks like a poofter when he wears shorts with white socks up to mid calf and work boots.
I had another point to make but I’ve forgotten….Jeezum Crow!
caught Gran Torino on one of those 14inch airline screens not the best! despite the fact that at 150 years old Clint has become a parody of himself worth watching! As an umbrella toting brit who wears black sox with shorts & drinks lager & lime in the summer I am totally confused! I just told my wife I must be gay & she pointed out that if I am I have too many kids and a completely wrong Porn collection!
I threw out my favorite comforter due to mustiness. It’s thick and won’t dry in one cycle. Three cycle and three days later it smelled like ass, into the trash bin it went. It was a sad day.
Gran Torino started out slow for me but I warmed up to it. I think you’ll like it.
I may have heard this here, I don’t remember. But there’s no way to pick up a dropped frisbee without looking gay.
Open toed shoes are gay. Necklaces are gay. Nipple/navel/scrotom/tongue piercings are gay. Vests (unless bullet proof) are gay. Changing your hair color or wearing colored contact lenses is gay. Skin tight shirts are gay. Hats other than ball caps are gay. Scarves are gay. Knitting is gay. Playing any instrument besides drums which requires a stick of some sort (the triangle, that thing with ridges, etc) is gay.
One dude saying to another dude, “I’m not gay. I don’t love you. I just want to fuck you.” is gay.
Well, when you have to wear dress clothes to work and the parking garage is 300 yards away during a driving rainstorm, I’ll suck it up and use a BAU (Big Ass Umbrella). Me sitting in my office dripping wet is not good for my career.
I’ve seen the deal where a human being is used as a serving cart. And, Samantha in the Sex in the City movie looked pretty appealing, to say the least. I’d eat everything on that plate, then lick the plate.
Not only have I heard of sushi being served on a person but I also work for the woman who organized this little get together! Who knew she was so explorative! I guess me raising her 4 year-old gives her plenty of time to scour the wv hills for a man worthy of sporting sushi on his junk!
I think it was Gollum that said (of fish), “I likes ‘em fresh aaannd wrrrigglin’!”
AND
It was Terry Bradshaw who summed it up perfectly, “Where I come from we call it bait.”
I could eat a rare steak sitting on a corpse but that shit grosses me out.
Umbrellas are poofter as are men who drink white zin/blush/rose’ wines. Futons are poofter, they are “fold-out beds”, in my manly hunting cabin.
Picture this…You are in full camo holding a loaded 12 guage or scoped 30-06…ya sure as hell don’t want to be sitting on a farkin’ FUTON now do ya?
@ Jason – Yup, those are all signs that if you do this, you must be gay. Don’t forget if you listen to Barbra Streisand and your a guy, you might be gay.
According to the Further Evidence link, it would take 14 glasses of white wine (consumed in a 3 hour period) to kill me. I could never drink that many glasses in 3 hours. There has to be times for potty breaks!
I thought Gran Torino was excellent. It definately wasn’t the “typical” Clint Eastwood ending but then again it wasn’t a Dirty Harry flick.
Love sushi…but sure as hell wouldn’t eat it of some hairy nutbag. I once was at some “male-revue” Chippendale thing my girlfriend’s dragged me to. The feature (or should I say “head”..heh…) dancer came out with whipped cream sprayed all over his junk. The girls in the front row, screaming with delight, kept sticking their fingers in the pile of whipped cream for a taste test. BLECCH. Then he would “re-apply” with a can of redi-whip strapped to his leg. Sweat mixed with cool whip makes a paste I wouldn’t stick my finger in or taste…..BLAH!
Straws- Gay. Umbrellas- Gay. Hello Kitty- Gay. All if you are a guy, of course. How do you know your best friend is gay? His dick tastes like shit.
I’m sick today. Cough cough. Gotta use the sick days or I lose them. No Did you Know. No IPOD. Just sitting around the house fucking melting in the 115 degree heat index, while trying to keep the AC bill down. Have a safe trip JK.
That photo up there kicks ass. Where was that taken?
1. Blue tooth ear buds = fag jewelry
2. Always texting on a crackberry = fag activity
3. shoes with tassles = fudgepacking footwear
4. spandex bike clothes for anybody other than a pro bike racer or a club racer = F*$@ing gay and ridiculous…especially for lard asses trying to get in shape…loose the lard first before squeezing into bright colored lycra..fag boy
Gran torino was good I laughed all the way thru it but I don’t think it was supposed to be funny.
I love sushi but I will not eat anything off a person……..anymore bad experience with peanut butter.
Good Morning Surf Reporters….
According to the Further Evidence link it would take 22 bottles of Miller High Life consumed in a 3 hour period to kill me. I’ve experienced near death this way too many times to count.
Any guy that wears a polo shirt with a popped collar – gayer than Liberace oil wrestling with Andy Dick
Umbrella carrying – if it’s one of those collapsible Totes kind, pretty gay. But a big 6 foot circumference golf umbrella – not gay
I’ll have to disagree and defend the Twitter usage. I’ve been using Twitter for almost a year now and I assure you I’m 100% women worshiping heterosexual. If one doesn’t use or understand it, that’s fine, but don’t harsh on those that do.
Link! Loser: Literal Video Version:
http://halfdillo.blogspot.com/2009/08/loser-literal-video-version-from.html
Let me know if embedded video does not work. From FunnyorDie.com.
oh, and here’s your naked Sushi model>>
http://blogs.tampabay.com/photos/uncategorized/2009/03/05/nakedsushi.jpg
Eating sushi off anybody sounds kind of gay. Now, snorting a line off bikerchik, maybe…..but sushi? C’mon.
I will NEVER cross my legs while sitting down. With women? Highly sexy. It seems to be getting more and more common for the men, but I get the shivers when I see any dude doing it. The closest I will get is putting one ankle on my knee and letting the junk swing, Tom Seleck style.
Umbrella- definitely poofter…
Any type of flavored beer.
I think you will enjoy Gran Torino. The Husband loved it!
Sushi is awesome, but like Shiny Rod I’ll just cut to the chase and go with the sashimi: all meat and no filler.
Eating sushi, or anything else for that matter, off some stranger’s body is just fucking gross. Unless they’ve been hosed down in phisohex and dried under a UV lamp your food will be contaminated with whatever bacteria and fungi has set up shop there. It should come as a surprise to no one that this little fad emerged from Japan, a country where you can purchase dirty school girl panties from vending machines and where “Tub Girl” is a celebrity.
Gran Torino is excellent. As others have mentioned there is a lot of racist dialogue however it’s necessary for the character development of the protagonist.
I’d eat sushi off of Tom Selleck.
Never eaten sushi off one but naked chicks on the table were de rigueur at Rugby parties I attended many years ago.
you need to break out the soviet humboxes to get rid of that dankness – prolly too late for this year though – better yet; central air! I never had air conditioning until we moved into our current house about 7 years ago; now I don’t think I could live wothout it! (I know – poofter)
Gran Torino is good but seemed like it was missing some pieces – bad/heavy editing to keep within tolerable movie theater non-ass-numbing time perhaps?
oh and Jeff try a very small amount of bleach in your washer to get rid of that smell in the clothes. about a 1/4 cup in the water hefore adding clothes will sanitize but not bleach the clothing.
Also i believe we have discovered here at the Surf report that eating a york peppermint patty makes one gay.
I think saying hefore instead of before makes one gay.
Its good to know that drinking 24473 O’Douls within the span of three hours will kill me. I’m really going to have to watch out for that. I’d also like to point out that I am not gay. Not even a little bit. OK, maybe just a little bit. But I will not have sex with a man! Unless he is covered in sushi; in which case, maybe just a little sex.
I know the guy who was the sushi table at that event. He’s a personal trainer here in CRW and also works at the Barge Restaurant on the river. Haven’t had a chance to talk to him since his raw fish experience.
Raw fish + nude dude = public health code violation. At least in southwestern pennsylvania we would have the good sense and taste to serve cooked food on nekkid people, gravy would be an issue. Although I can’t see this happening at one of our “chiggy/piggy/riggy” weddings.
And I think the following are poofy for dudes: fanny packs, jewelry that is more impressive than my own, scented candles, speedos, cocktails that require more than 2 ingredients and/or of an unnatural color, tanning beds, silk boxer shorts, or borrowing any of your gals facial/bath/hair care products.
Me thinks using words like “de rigueur” might be a little poofter…just sayin’
Ale is for men. Try an Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale and get back to me.
Nothing wrong with using an umbrella, just the sashaying around with it when it’s not raining.
Umbrellas: I had a very cool creative writing professor in college who said, “Isn’t it funny that in high school, having an umbrella was uncool. Then you get to college and you’re now known as ‘the stupid wet person’.”
That Next Top Model gal who married Michael Brady(from the Brady Bunch)did this naked sushi thing on one of those Surreal Life Shows. She laid there nekkid with sushi on her on the 1st episode of that particular series of shows…I believe Jane Whelan(the Go-Gos), China Doll(the wrestler chick), and Mini Me(Verne Troyer)were also in those episodes. I thought it was strange and so fitting for that show. I remember it because Adrianne(the model gal)commented that Verne was a little perv b/c he kept brushed his hands over her boobs to cop a feel while she laid there.lol
Now, I have never heard of anyone doing this nekkid sushi thing in REAL LIFE, especially outside of Anything Goes California.
I am sure WV was all a twitter from that party!
KYDave – a man getting “a little nature on his face” is a euphemism for something VERY VERY gay.
@ Gretchen – Funny you should say, I posted a nice picture of Tom (Magnum PI) with shirt off a couple days ago under (Just couldn’t let it alone, could you).
My umbrella is trimmed in lace and it matches my elbow length gloves, also trimmed in lace. Nothing gay about it. I just happen to like pretty things.
Questionably Gay: Why would a man get a diamond put in their college ring??? What for? Gold just not enough? I thought they were a woman’s best friend?
I went to a function once where they had both a male and female sushi model. All us girls decided to see if we could get the sushi on the guy to um… move. We set up shop right next to the table and started talking about things that would surely get a “rise” out of our friend. It took some talkin’ (about 45 minutes worth) , but we accomplished our mission and the sushi moved, or rose, or … you all get the point I’m sure.
Good times!
Noting says I smoke pole like having an umbrella under your arm while drinking through a straw. Drive Safe.
err “Nothing”
@ tadpolegal – Just talk won’t work with me. I’ve built up an immunity. Will take a whole lot more than that to get the Dragon to “rise” and BTW I do not need viagra thank you. Just good old fashion self control.
AWG! I lost your email address. Can you email me it again?
BlondeGoddess66@gmail.com
Gran Torino is a great movie. I remember thinking how clueless I was about what was to happen.
WVgasman – I’ve been wanting to check out that Barge Restraunt when I am in town. Don’t think I’ll be ordering any sushi though…
I can tolerate Clint Eastwood almost as much as I can tolerate passing kidney stones, if you catch my drift. Beyond that, Gran Turino was okay. Comme ci, comme ca…
I’ve seen shows where sushi is presented on a body, but that body is usually of the female sort, around 5’8″ and 110 lbs. The sushi is laid quite candidly over the lady bits and the males usually go for the usual spots while women usually go for stomach and thigh areas first. I have never seen a male model used, but good god, I hope they’re waxed!
As for Twitter; I hope you’re proud. I have never ‘twittered’ and will probably never do so again, but dammit, funds are low and I’m itching for a Smokin’ Fish T-Shirt!
Now Playing on iPhone: ‘(Do You Want To Date My) Avatar’ by Felicia Day (The Guild)
poofter-istic: Carrying a book or books clutched to one’s chest. Wearing shoes with no socks, unless exiting one’s home due to fire or flood. Ankle or toe jewelry.
Per Further Evidence: 17 shots of tequila in a three hour period will kill me. I will add that five will make me invincible and ten will make me wish I was dead.
@Doug–The sports bar (river level) at the Barge is very casual and has good food and cold beer. Great seating outside on the dock. Upstairs is the fancy-pants “haut cuisine” restaurant. Never tried that one, but I’ve heard it is really expensive and the food is mediocre.
From Wilkes-Barre to West Virginia for the weekend, even a long one, hardly seems worth the effort. You’ll get to be there what, a day?
@ Melissa – C’mon, I’m Twittering now, its fun. Go ahead, give it a try. Just remember, you have to keep your conversation to 140 characters.
Gran Torino will be good as long as your not expecting a Dirty Harry style movie. I was, but watching it a second time thru put it all together.
It is also not the slur-fest many made it out to be (I don’t mean many here in the comments, just in general whenever this movie gets discussed) Tthere are a few used repeatedly, but it certainly isn’t anywhere near the variety and frequency that I heard while growing up. It was actually a let down that I didn’t get to hear a good cross section of slurs.
Carrying an umbrella is only poofter depending on how its carried.
Tammie, just sent you the address at 5:19.
Sick days rock. I ate and slept all day long.
Oh yeah, Gran Torino kicks ass. It’s a role Clint was meant to play. None of that Bridges of Madison County crap I believe that he was held at gunpoint to do. The badass with an attitude roles were meant for him and Charles Bronson.
AWG – Bridges was a shhh! (chick flick). Don’t forget the other badass Chuck Norris. No whimpy movies there.
O.K. 21 Margaritas in 3 hours not only am I not dead Jimmy Buffet still sounds awful!
Capri pants on a guy – totally poofter
Gran Torino was great. I just watched it two days ago. The script is so good. I dig “Old Clint” even if all of his movies move kind of slooooooooooow.
27 beers or 27 red wines and I’m a goner. I’m a mix and match guy so 17 and 10 would do it too. I am expert at pacing and those numbers would be conservative for a weekend of camping and fishing at the lake.
Gay…”by the by”
Trumpet players are not gay, Jason, although almost all trumpet players play drums too. Sax players carry knives and trombone players are too lazy to have sex… even with themselves. Bass players are letchers and guitar players are always looking at their fingernails…just sayin’
Oh…and by the by…I don’t own an umbrella.
To all you female Reporters who are diggin’ on Magnum PI, I got news for you. HE’S GAY!!! Just look at the moustache! Plus, what heterosexual male would use the word Magnum in his name?
Phbbbt! Jealous much, Taiwan On?
Gran Torino had Clint, no more needs to be said. He alone made the movie good for me.
Yes use the umbrella! WTF would you want to get drenched when you don’t need to?
Oh….and by the by….Apple Tini…gay!
Men should not drive the current version of the VW Beetle. Gay. Convertible? Really gay. Flower in the vase? Well, you might as well be wearing assless chaps.
@ Taiwan On – First welcome back and Tom is not gay, at least thats what his wife had to say about it. I’m with Gretchen, I think there’s some hating going on here.
@ WhiteTrashBarbie – Or Subaru
18 Stone Ruinations to kill me. KYDave, if you can finish 6 of those in a sitting you’re actually pretty manly even though it’s an ale. It’s only 7.7%, so if that’s not enough try a Kasteel Tripel or a Victory V12. Pumpkin ale is nasty, but as Jeff says a good harbinger of what I now call Whisky Season. Can’t wait to dip into that cask-strength Talisker!
Umbrellas are not inherently gay, but can be made gay by the person carrying it. Gay is… those tiny socks that don’t stick out of your shoe; silk scarves; shower containing more than just soap and shampoo; jewelry in excess of a watch and a wedding band; vehicle with automatic transmission if you’re not disabled. Well, unless you’re accommodating The Woman In Your Life. I used to say that the ultimate gay car was a white VW Rabbit convertible with automatic, but those haven’t been made in years. As WTB says, a Beetle in the same configuration makes a serviceable substitute.
@WTB, I always wondered about the phrase “assless chaps” – aren’t all chaps assless by definition? If it has an ass, it’s not a pair of chaps. Right?
I have never used Twitter, Spacebook, Myface or any of those things, so I have no opinion on their degrees of gayness.
@JCIII, I am in Tampa right now but I did not see your woman. Please advise.
@ Trish –
Aww yeah, nothing beats a Western PA Wedding buffet. I’ve never heard it referred to as chiggy/piggy/riggy, but that sums it all up.
For those unaware, here in this area, every wedding reception runs the same fare regardless if it’s a 5 star affair or the District Magistrate performed the ceremony.
Your food selections will be baked chicken, ham and rigatoni with either meatballs or sausage.
There will also be sides of potatoes and green beans, salad and a sandwich(deli) tray.
Dessert will be the cake and an entire table full of cookies.
Shots and beer will flow freely and you can guarantee there will be a polka , the Hokey Pokey and the Chicken dance.
Every freakin’ time
@ Georgia Beebe – Thanks! One of the things I love about thewvsr is how it has expanded my personal vernacular. I am glad I could contribute for a change.
@ TILLY! Why have I not heard about this peanut butter incident before? Be watching for an e-mail from me in the morning. Oh, and who do you know who says ‘hefore’? Please, please, please say it is your brother. That would just be hours of e-mail mockery fun for you and me.
@ chill – Yeah, chaps don’t have an ass, but I think the phrase *assless chaps* indicates that the wearer is not utilizing anything under the chaps to cover the ass.
JCIII
Ah, you are skilled in the ways of the “Valley”. Our CPR consists of (no…not mouth to mouth) but chicken, pigs in a blanket (aka polish hand grenades) and rigatoni. I haven’t been in a while, but I am sure there are still dudes with mullets that wear light gray lace up dress shoes with pleated black pants and sweaters to the event (in July). Throw in the requisite “Imp & Iron”, the “chicken dance”, plus enough cookies to take over the east coast and you’ve got a S.W.PA party.
Now back to the poof…I wonder what Gran Torino would have been like if Clint had to juggle his umbrella while twittering the the bad guys to stay away from his neighbors Prius because he was driving his Segue to his job making half-caff lattes with Madagascar cinnamon for local artists before he stopped to pick up his girlfriends tampons and rent the first season of Gossip Girls.
If he reads this, Clint will not only hunt me down with a weapon, but he’ll take all my Dirty Harry movies and Kelley’s Hero’s!
@ Trish…
I’m so smilin right now envisioning Mullet Man and his gray dress shoes. He wore those to the prom, right? Mine were white.
You neglected to mention the Trailer Tootie, with the big hair that has 300 pounds of ass packed into a size 12.
It would take 46 bottles of Foster’s Lager to kill you! Yeah, I’d probably piss to death.
I think poofterness all depends on perspective. Other than gay man sex (including head, hand etc. jobs) most of the things mentioned can be utilized and not be gay. Flowers…not gay if they lead to heterosexual sex. Chick flicks….not gay if you get head in the theater (from a chick). Fanny pack…not gay if you only use it to store (not wear) your drugs and condoms for use with females. Umbrellas…not gay if you are holding it because you just yanked it away from a beautiful woman in a white shirt.
Speaking of poofter vehicles, I may have to replace my beloved ’94 Eagle Summit if the clutch doesn’t fix itself. I have been considering a VW Jetta (Diesel) but am concerned about the poofterness. I’m definitely not buying a car to get me laid as I am married, so that is of no concern. However, I tended to view VWs for a guy as somewhat feminine, but may be changing my perspective. Any thoughts?
The VW Spectrum:
GTI & Rabbit – young hetero
Jetta – married hetero (wife’s choice?) or young hetero hand-me-down
Passat – married hetero with children
Touareg – closet poofter with something to (dis)prove
Beetle – poofter, certain
Cabriolet & Beetle convertible – extreme poofter
My boss, located in Pittsburgh, took the entire sales team, inside sales, outside sales, and support staff to a restaurant in downtown Pittsburgh last year called Bossa Nova. I think there were 18 of us in all.
They specialize in Martini’s and Sushi. The waiter was absolutely pro. The first question was: Would you like to order a sushi assortment for the table as an appetizer before deciding on dinners. My immediate answer was Yes. I am normally the guy that makes the decisions since I have been with the company for about 90 years. Plus, my boss, who is 12 years old would discuss options for 3 hours if someone else did not step up and make a decision right away.
They brought out a tray the size if a Wheeling Pittsburgh Steel garbage can lid with about 10 different types of sushi piled about 3 feet high. We could have fed half of the crowd at a Steelers’ home game. The martini’s were super oversize and 3 of them put you on your ass.
I don’t think anyone ordered a dinner. I got bombed and left my car in the parking garage and took a cab back to the hotel. The bill was 4 figures.
Neat place, really hip music, and diverse crowd.
JCIII
The garden variety trailer toots actually only weighs about 280, the other 20 lbs comes from:
-5 lbs of caked makeup to hide the pock marks and m&m sized chin mole
-5 aerosol lbs of aqua net hair spray to maintain big ass spiral perm
-5 lbs for the Mr. T starter kit rope necklaces & ankle bracelets
- 5 miscellaneous lbs of cigarette case she wont let go of (with the little side pocket for the lighter), giant wad of chewing gum, various spandex garments to wrangle that big ass into a dress, etc.
oh this makes me homesick.
Brynhildr & WhiteTrashBarbie – You make me so glad I drive a Jeep.
@WTB- I don’t tell you everything!!
Gran Torino was pretty formulaic and you’ll probably be able to predict the entire plot from the get-go, but as most people have said, it’s also entertaining. Clint’s presence, squinting racial slurs, and his whole “Buuuuhhh grrrrrrrrrr WE USED TO STACK FUCKS LIKE YOU FIVE FEET HIGH IN KOREA” thing made it worthwhile for me, anyway. People who claim the movie is racist are the same kind of morons who try to ban Huckleberry Finn.
I drive a ’92 4Runner with a four inch lift, which calls for bigger and more agressive rubber. I can get into and out of and into and out of…some of the tightest places and at the most amazing angles you can imagine. Peaks and valleys are my speciality. I choose to stay on established trails but only the ones that are a challange and appealing to me. I know there’s usually an uncharted backroad just off the trail…but I like the views the trail has to offer.
August 21, 2009
Zeroing Out the Foreskin Notebook
Punishment Fitting the Crime, Reality (or not) and Getting to Know Each Other
Okay, Dante Stallworth hits a guest of our country while said guest was running across the road. Dante was drunk. Did a month in jail, got suspended for the season, issued an apology. Michael Vick did his time, after electrocuting his dogs with jumper cables and drowning them for losing dogfight….on his property. Now is allowed to earn millions again. Plaxico Burress, shoots HIMSELF in the leg, albeit violating weapons charges with a gun that was registered in Floriduh, but not in New York. TWO FUCKING YEARS IN PRISON. Two years in prison, for shooting himself. I mentioned this last week, but the inconsistencies of punishment just throws me for a fifteen yard loss. How did this happen? Any thoughts, or am I just seeing this in a wrong way?
My wife watches this show called “Dancing with the Stars”. I HAVE to retreat to the bedroom to watch something else when this is on. However, I have some doubts, so I checked into the “Star” factor of it. Stars? Seriously?
OK, we give Donny Osmond the break, since he was a star about thirty years ago. He gets the free pass, as does Michael Irvin, because, apparently, they have to have a football player, retired or active on it each year. Otherwise, I have some doubts of the rest of the roster:
Aaron Carter- Who? I know he was a Disney singer about a hundred years ago, but shouldn’t he be using his money, if there is any left, for drugs and hookers about now? Is he still ..out there? Haven’t heard this name in years.
Natalie Coughlin- Olympic Swimmer. A star?
Tom Delay- former House Majority Leader. “Dancing with the crooked Politicians?” Maybe
Ashley Hamilton- Star of Beethoven’s 2nd? Really? The Starpower of this show is overwhelming me so far.
Louie Vito- Professional champion snowboarder. Seriously, I think Shaun White is the only snowboarder I have ever heard of. Couldn’t they get him? Why give his title to this guy?
Reality shows tend to suck ass. Another one that is worse is called “There Goes the Neighborhood” or “Shit on Your Neighbor that You still Have to Live Next Door to After the Show Stops Filming.” It scrapes the bottom, as ten families in a neighborhood have a wall built around their collective houses, with no electricity, and they turn on each other and eliminate each other. I have a sadistic side, but something like this just doesn’t do it for me, unless they had cage matches or something. What reality series pisses you off?
Here’s an interesting exercise- if you choose to participate- tell us, as we are all your invisible friends- about yourself. Age, height, weight (unless that’s a sore subject), partner, kids, job….. we all may learn a little bit more about each other and understand each other a little more. I’ll start. 48, 6-6, 295, wife- 31, 5-8, 115, boy, 12, girl, 5, Record Keeper for a water restriction government agency. That wasn’t so hard. Indulge us, if you feel like it.
Did you know- A Burger King whopper, with cheese, tastes EXACTLY like a Whopper with no cheese, and costs less? Skip the cheese. I had five of them at lunch- no difference. Saved about two dollars.
On IPOD right now- Eighteen and Life- Skid Row
Have a great weekend!
Gran Torino is very racist, but not as racist as Huckleberry Finn.
33, 5-11, 190, wife, two girls 3 and 1 and one on the way in Feb. Realtor.
I feel so refreshed.
Thanks for participating Jason. We would have never known about the upcoming event until it happened, had you not told us. Hoping for a boy? Or do you already know?
@ JCIII & Trish:
Ah yes…a wedding in the ‘Burg. Yinz guys ain’t lived &’nat there if you’s ain’t never been to one! You mentioned the food…everytime we go to one we bet on the offerings: fried or baked chicken, pigs & rigs (stuffed cabbage and rigatoni in layman’s terms), parsley potatoes swimming in butter/grease, canned green beans, side salad with a choice of italian or ranch dressing in a cup, & hard-ass dinner rolls left over from the wedding the week before. And don’t forget the COOKIE table!
No wait!…I ain’t done &’nat there… Location?…. any local firehall. 6 foot folding tables covered in colored paper tablecloth’s….soon to be torn as soon as some drunkin bafoon stands on the table doin the whole “YMCA” thing….No THAT’S gay!!! The DJ playing…”Play that Funky Music”, “Electric Slide”, “Chicken Dance”, ” Hokey Pokey”, “Old Tlime Rock&Roll…… Loads of Bill Cosby sweaters and big haired chicks in cut-off old bridesmaid dresses!
You can guess I have attended quite a few!!
There is nothing gay about wearing chaps with no pants; especially if worn to work on “casual Fridays”.
AngryWhiteGuy,
I’m hoping for a boy. I’ve already got two spilt-tails (plus the wife) so I think it’s time for another swinging dick around my house. We’re supposed to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl next month.
@ Hardoxdan: Bossa Nova is a cool place. That’s where the “pretty people” go. Since I am a shot and a beer girl..it ain’t my cup o’tea. Surprisingly, it has remained a staple here. A lot of charity events are held there; and local sports figures carouse there too. Last time I was there was for my office Christmas party about 3 years ago. Otherwise, no thanks.
Carrying an umbrella as a man is super poofter…right up there with carrying your lunch in a fancy insulated lunch bag.
You may as well do jazz hands every time you enter a room.
34, 5’6″, 175.
2 boys, one 8 week old girl.
I had high hopes for Gran Torino but I got bored halfway through and stopped watching it. My husband watched it all the way through, he had nothing great to report about it. The end is predictable.
I seemed to remember hearing about a woman covered in sushi – I guess if a bunch of women are playing dress-up it maks sense to have some dude covered in sushi. Where I work though I’d expect to see the women plucking sushi from some other woman except she’d have a mullet and be wearing dockers and a button collar shirt. You can’t swing a cat around there without hitting a bunch of lebinese wimmen. We did have a Christmas punch bowl one year that had Santa squirting the punch out when you squeezed his nose. (we have a tradition of making whacky punchbowls for X-mas – were a bunch of engineers after all)
AWG-Couldn’t agree more for some reason running somebody down in a drunken stupor seems more heinous than shooting your own dumbass in the leg.
Don’t watch reality tv cause it all sucks a bunch of ass.
Male, 6-1, 240, single, never married, Project Manager for an electrical contractor.
I’ll have to try the whopper thing, 5 whopper lunch, sum bitch!
@bikerchick.
My sales manager is from Sewickley. Somewhat of a poofter. His dad was a professional musician with the Pittsburgh Symphony, so you know the type. Nice guy, though.
I am more shot and a beer, too.
Dan
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…….
Male, 42 soon to be 42. 5’10″, 185 lbs. Married 21 years(together 23 next month). 2 sons; 21 and a Corporal in the United States Marine Corp, 15(16 in a month) and a typical teen into on-line gaming, music, texting, et al.
I’m a Business Manager(Finance & Insurance) for a Chevrolet dealership. I’m also a golfer, gambler, joker, smoker and midnight toker.
In my off time I enjoy investigating the chemical composition of Miller High Life and ponder how they make it so damn good.
uh yeah, 42 soon to be 42???
43 in November
Ok, I’ll enlighten everyone with some personal info.
Real name: Kristi
Height: 5’6″
Weight: too much
Age: 40
Single, never married, no kids.
Native Hoosier, transplanted to Phoenix about 6 years ago.
Oh, and I’m an accountant.
Exciting.
WTF?????
check out the strip for August 21, 2009:
http://www.gocomics.com/frogapplause
WTF? Thief!
Ok AWG…I’m in on this thing…age 43, height 5’5″, weight approx 165 (my boobs weigh 20 of that), Husband Age 43, height 6’2″, weight 275…27 year old daughter, 18 year old daughter, 16 year old daughter, 13 year old son…I was a dispatcher until I got laid off so now I sell myself on the street corner so I can put the 18 year old through college.
I have no gag reflex and I accept paypal..
“I have no gag reflex and I accept paypal..”
The WVSR commenters are the best!
Best of luck on the college fund, Tammie
NDfaninAz…I can also touch the tip of my nose with my tongue…I accept WalMart gift cards too.
Tammie – you should have that college fund in no time then!
And WalMart gift cards are good for back-to-school shopping.
Well, Tammie, no gag reflex? That is one helluva quality to have. Ought to get you some work real quick-like for the upcoming tuition payment.
Me? 42, 5’11″, squishier than I want to be (brave souls — I thought ladies never divulged that info), single, no kids, 1 dog. Unemployed at the moment, former university lecturer and former VP of Events Management at one of the big investment banks currently in the crapper and now partially gubment-owned. Hair-trigger gag reflex.
scarymary — congratulations on your baby girl
Brynhildr – thanks she’s a doll.
After dealing with my 12 year old whining at me in his pubescent cracking voice and my two year old screaming in defiance, she makes me remember why I wanted kids to begin with. And, well, somebody’s got to take care of me when I’m old because my 6 foot 298 pound, high blood pressure, husband probably isn’t going to make it that far. *sigh*
First, greetings from Virginia Beach. I was initially not taking my laptop but I need to do some research on a paper I’m working on. My jowl is on the floor. Thank you Tammie, all my stress just ran out the door. Jason, you really should be here, the women are all over the place. It is hotter than July and the chicks are even hotter. I am finding it very hard to stay put but I’m gonna keep my promise to , eh what was that? Oh, keep my promise to stay out of trouble. I am drinking a Fosters, got something to say about it? Thought so! So as I pulled in the area whatever was on my mind just left. I am so loving it. Now lets see Oh my stats.
Age 50, 6’0, 285 lbs after dropping 20 over the past 2 months.
3 Grown kids 22, 24, 26 One lady (my baby girl) and two young men
Married twice, divorced twice.
Employed – IT Project Manger for NC Department of Transportation
I also work as an independent music producer for artist HipHopWallStreet which he just sign a contract granting 40% revenue from all collaborative productions to my production company.
Income – You think I’m gonna tell you, pssst!
Now keep it down, I am trying to study, bye!!!
I’m a know it all still learning life’s lessons.
6’2″, 185. 3 mos ago I was only 55 yrs. old. Retired musician. Now I play for free. Run my own biz. I’m the CBL (chief bullgoose loony) and the GFO (general fuck off). Married 22 yrs. She has a 35 yr old son (cool guy). Dog, cat and all the animals that roam around here. Mnt Lion, Bear, Elk, Deer, Raccoons. And Danny the village drunk. I hike and ride horse. I fix things and get greasy. I fix things and stay clean. I like a good conversation and I’m a flirt without any intensions. Ahhhh crap….this sounds like an eHarmony ad!
Hey…the grills on and Bev just suprised me with Margarita night. Gotta go. Happy week all!
39, 5′ 8″, 240, married, Wife 38, boy 14 girl 8, college educated and owner/operator of a lawn and landscaping company.
Intersting mix of folks…
6 foot even
225 lbs
44 year old male
Married with 7 year old son
Gas Liquids Trader for a Energy Co in Tulsa Ok.
Love the Surf Report
Shiny Rod,
It sounds like a lot of fun. However, I’m very busy right now. I’m buying a shit load of Wal-Mart gift cards and heading to West Virginia to find some lady with a Gene Simmons tongue and twenty pound boobs.
It’s all about me:
On the younger side of 46. Weight: way to fucking much…all boobs (they’re real) and butt. Long blonde hair. Married/divorced/Married again/widowed. Now living with my 30 year old boyfirend in Pittsburgh. Work for a plastic surgeon…for the freebee’s (mamma didn’t raise no monkey’s ass!). But my true love is my antique business.
ALMOST 41,MALE , MARRIED 14 YEARS,2 BOYS 12 @ 9,1 PUGLE
@ Jason – West Virginia to find one or Va Beach where it’s the pick of the litter. I’m confused?
Going to look for Tammie (twas a joke).
I believe the popular beat combo “Queen” used to have roving midgets with bowls of coke on their heads at parties.
Working as a sushi platter – gay. Buck should have ‘spilled’ a bowl of wasbi on his nutsack.
Jeep – gay.
Jeep Wrangler – screaming.
I beg your pardon, I am not gay and I OWN a Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited. Now you want gay, Land Rover is gay…Damn brit pissing on an American male Icon. WTF?
Hey… that bit I wrote about my ’92 4Runner (back up there) was suposed to have some inuendos. Was I lame and missed the mark? I thought it was funny.
SR…maybe Limey meant a certain color. I’m sure he meant no harm.
My cousin had an old ’68 land crusier. Yeah…the safari kind. Built for Aferica and Asia.Tank mofo I tell ya. OD green too.
The maragratia weekend has not ended so far. I don’t know where the cat is and the dog smells like goose shit.
DTO – Yeah, long as It wasn’t gold, I’ll forgive him. I think everyone is tired this week. Scotch on the beach is still going strong. I love the breeze and the ocean.
Video’s I cut last week are out on youtube, check it out, It’s not what you might think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sZdYWuRRFg
you should do a thing on those emails that urgently want to give you a million dollars because their husband has had to flee the country or died or something in Africa and they need to transfer a bunch of money in your account. Have you ever responded to one. You can really mess with those people. Also random responses to Craiglist ads.. especially the personals… You can have a blast. I would love to see what you come up with.
@AWG – RE: Issues of the law and sports figures
The thing about the law is that sometimes it is counterintuitive.
I don’t think that Plaxico should go to jail for 2 years, but I do think that he should have to wear a sign around his neck that says, “I am such a dumbass that I shot myself in the leg.” I don’t think that is a remedy offered in most criminal proceedings.
And it appears at first blush that Dante should be punished more than he has been, but I would also add that this may have been an accident in which alcohol was not necessarily a contributing factor. What I mean is that the accident may have happened whether or not he was drinking. I am not positive about where the accident took place, but I think I know the location, and, if I am right, it is a place that is not well lit and is not a place one would typically see a pedestrian, especially in the middle of the night. Having said that, most states will assign fault based solely on alcohol consumption regardless of whether it is appropriate. For instance, you could be sitting in your car, stopped at a stop light, and an asteroid could fall from the sky and crush you, and it is your fault if you were drunk.
I don’t know what to say about Michael Vick, except that I am glad that Tony Dungy has taken him under his wing.
@AWG – RE: Reality TV
Not much for reality TV at our house. We used to watch Last Comic Standing even after swearing it off when NBC canceled it with one episode – the big finale! – to go in the third (?) season. It was the season that Alonzo Bodden won.
Sometimes watch American Idol, but not as much as we did initially (not at all last season because it was up against Lost).
And Dancing with the Stars? Nope. We watched the first season and it was ok, but you are right about the caliber of the celebrities. The level of stars started at the D list and seems to have gone down from there. I fully expect the producers of DWTS to show up at our doorstep one day to ask my husband to participate because he was once asked a question on the local news by a local reporter as he walked down the street.
@AWG – RE: Personal info
Married, no kids, husband (who sometimes posts here) and I are the same age which is younger than (I think) everyone else who has responded, but older than Jason. I am an attorney (currently working in the areas of administrative law and healthcare law, but I have worked in some other areas as well), and the husband is an IT guy. When we met I worked at a radio station, and he was in a band and we met because I interviewed his band. We recently were talking about how crazy it is that we are now a healthcare attorney and an IT guy – what happened to the band guy and the rock-n-roll party chick? They were cool and fun and we miss them. *sniff* Probably more information than you wanted.
Anyway, AWG, maybe it would be fun to say what we have learned about each other from reading the posts? Like I know that you and I share a love of the Colts. Just a thought. This was your idea, and I don’t want to step on your foreskin.
@ Kristin – WTF! Outrageous!
@ ScaryMary – Congratulations!
@ Jason – Congratulations!
@ Tammie – LMAO! You accept PayPal! Too funny!
@ TILLY – Now I get the hefore vs before thing. Blond moment. Oh, and you don’t tell me everything? I have seen a baby come out of your vagina. Maybe the day before that happened would have been the day to start keeping secrets from me.
@ AWG – Also we have two dogs and one cat.
The rule is – if there is Barbie version of a car then it is a gay car.
Barbie VW Beetle? Check.
Barbie Jeep? Check.
Both are poofterwagons.
@ Limey – What about the Barbie Corvette?
Limey-That’s a pretty broad statement, I’m no Barbie expert but she’s had a lot of popular vehicles.
@White Trash Barbie-Touche’, Also I tried the Burning River Pale Ale yesterday, I thought it was pretty good if you like pale ales, only a slight hint of yellow perch or maybe it was walleye, lol. I will buy more to support Ohio business as this state can use all the tax dollars it can find.
I think Barbie had a speed boat and that’s hardly gay. Unless, of course, it’s a pink speed boat with a rainbow flag flapping in the wind behind it.
I debating as to wheather or not I should drink some beer today. I’m not working tomorrow. What to do, what to do…..
Barbie also had a Ken. Does having a Ken make you gay? I think not. Oh, wait.
Thank you Jason, you da man!!! Now go drink some beer and stay away from the velveeta.
Last time I checked a speed boat wasn’t a car. The Barbie Gay Car rule applies only to cars. Barbie’s Winnebago isn’t gay either.
Is Barbie’s convertible automatic transmission Corvette gay? Ya think?
Good Morning Surf Reporters…
I wonder if JK will be surprised with how well we behaved ourselves with him being gone for the weekend to see the Rents.
I for one have been nothing but entertained and am itching for an update…..
A golf umbrella held halfway down the shaft (snigger) is by no means G-A-Y in my book.
However fully grown men drinking through straws will forever remain questionable.
I just happened to come across this article on eating sushi off of naked women. There’s a pucture that goes along, but it’s probably OK for the office.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/6061325/Londoners-offered-chance-to-eat-sushi-off-naked-models.html
Just logged in after a weekend of spending what felt like my entire paycheck on school supplies (school starts today here-good times). Anyways, awesome responses to all. We all know each other a little better now. I think JK will be pleased with our behavior while he was away. Hopefully he will have a few good stories to tell us.
Did you know- (I had said this before, once) Jerry Springer is in the hallway where I work at THIS VERY MOMENT!? I feel like breaking a chair over one of my co-workers’ heads just to make him feel at home.
On IPOD right now- “Couldn’t Stand the Weather”- Stevie Ray Vaughan
Oh the Bunker Cam is so wrong. That just wrong on so many levels.
#156! With such an auspicious beginning, I am quite sure that this is going to be a great work week. Maybe my boss will buy me donuts or something….
38, 5’6″, 145# (down from 160#), Lovely wife is 39, 5’2″, 115#, 2 daughters, 12 & 6. Both have the sensitivity & intelligence of their mother & the smartassery of their father.
I’ve had a change of heart or I am a poofter but I’ve signed up for twitter, what a twit.