Grab Your Hats of Humiliation, It’s Almost Party Time!
A guy at work asked what I had planned for New Years Eve. And I told him it would probably be the standard: Everyone would be asleep by ten, except me. And I’d be drinking beers in front of the TV or computer until around 12:30. I’d probably watch the ball drop (heh), then call it a night.
“Wow, that sounds great!” he said, with high sarcasm.
But that’s the way we roll at the Compound. I’ve never gone out on New Years Eve, even when I was young and childless. Not once, in my whole life.
Yeah, I’ve seen the party scenes at the beginning of The Poseidon Adventure (before everything went to hell, and Shelley Winters was forced to swim through the ocean with a rope between her teeth), and it just doesn’t look like something I’d enjoy.
It appears that novelty hats would be involved (correct?), along with loads of strangers invading my personal space and blowing through cheap Chinese-made noise-amplifiers. I mean, seriously. Who needs it?
And yes, that’s my New Years Eve frame of reference: the opening scenes of The Poseidon Adventure. What of it?
What about you? Do you go out on New Years Eve? I’m made to feel that the entire world is partying, like something off MTV Spring Break, and I’m the lone stick in the mud, power-farting into upholstery at home with a bottle in his hand.
But am I the only one? Tell me what you have planned this year. And if you have any memorable New Years Eve stories to tell, from back in the glory days or whatever, I’d like to hear those too. Use the comments link below.
And speaking of being cool and cutting-edge, we got a new hot water tank installed yesterday. How great is that? Yeah, just when I start sounding like a burned-out old fogey, I hit you with something vibrant and exciting. Dammit, I refuse to be pigeonholed.
And nobody can touch the quality of our hot water. Nobody!
I still don’t feel so great. Thanks for asking. Plus, I’ve now got flaking skin around my nostrils, to add to my disturbing Statler Bros. voice and gloopy eyes. I look like some kind of escapee from a government quarantine.
But, if I can make it to 1:30 am, I’ll be in the clear. After tonight’s ball-mashing session, I’ll have four recuperation days ahead of me. And I plan to make good use of the Netflix “Watch Instantly” feature. From a horizontal position, if possible.
Please remember that the price of the blue/gray shirts will go back to sixteen bucks on Friday. So, if you want one at the insane no-profit-for-me price, you’d better jump on that shit right now. Here’s yer link. I plan to make a post office run tomorrow, so today would probably be a good day to order.
And I want to publicly thank Pagan for buying me one square-foot of Scotland, as a Christmas present. I have my deed (it’s actually a lifetime lease), and you can read about the area where my square is located, right here.
Thanks, man! That’s incredibly cool, and I plan to visit my land someday soon. I want to make sure it’s being maintained to the highest Half-Shirt standards. I can’t have my square going to seed; I’ve already started lying awake at night, worrying about it.
When I go, I’m going to see if I can set up a webcam. Maybe I’ll be able to stream constant footage of my square-foot, here at TheWVSR? That would be fantastic.
I’m calling it a day now. I need to do something about all the dead skin around my blowholes. Good god… I think I asked a Question up above, something about New Years Eve? I can’t remember. But let’s just go with it.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Same Internet time, same Internet station.
Have a great day, my friends.
Now playing in the bunker
Evil Twin shirts only $12, thru Thursday!
Filed under: Daily
Woohoo!
Shit….Damn Web Meeting is fucking me up!
I sympathize Jeff – I’m currently on the Cipro train for bronchitis. Blah.
I never ever ever go to bars on New Year’s Eve – too many amateurs. Ditto for St. Patrick’s Day. I usually hit a house party.
Tres. Our NYE plans are the same every year. We order a boat load of Chinese take out, eat like pigs and then I drink myself into a stupor (except for the 2 NYE I was pregnant – dammit…I hate missing a good holiday).
I live in a college town, so I am just hoping not too many of the kids will be here. Around here, a person can usually tell what is going on by how many firetrucks you here during the night.
When I was younger, a party at someone ELSE’S house was always the way to go on NY Eve. Then, I reached a period of just staying at home, since I did not drink anymore. Now, somehow, for the past three years, I have been dragged to downtown Sarasota to watch the fucking pineapple drop, and avoid being puked on by 30,000 of my closest friends. I watch the Child Bride, and Sandra Bullock, my mother-in-law get trashed, and I have to drive them home at 1.a.m., when all the vehicular homicide candidates are on the road. looks like I am doing it this year too.
I have never tried NY resolutions, so I thought quitting smoking would be a good one this year, since I have a Sheriff’s Dept. physical fitness test to do on Jan. 21. Need that extra lung function for that shit.
On IPOD right now- “Santeria”- Sublime
For NYE I will leave work at 2pm and have my happy ass planted in a bar stool at my favorite watering hole by 2:30-3:00. I will them proceed to drink pints of PBR at an alarming pace. By 6 or 7pm I will leave well ahead of the amatuers, stumble the four blocks to my humble abode and sleep blissfully through the commotion.
The best part of the weekend will be watching my Buckeyes and the Bearcats get crushed in their bowl games.
Top 10!!
We’ll be travelling to Cleveland tomorrow at o’dark thirty for niece’s wedding. What’s there to do in Cleveland on New Years Eve??
From the WVSR yesterday, vis-a-vis Jeff’s hatred of The Doors.
First, I think this is the funniest Rolling Stone cover caption of all time.
http://www.rollingstone.com/photos/gallery/5392223/1981_rolling_stone_covers/photo/18/large/elvispresley
Second, The Doors (or is it just Doors, no “The”?) rock. LA Woman is a top ten. Come on Jeff! Have a read of “No One Here Gets Out Alive”.
Third, Jim Morrison died on my birthday. And we share the same first name. So I have that going for me. Which is nice.
I’ve never been one for going out on NYE. It always just seems like an over-priced clusterfuck to me.
i’d rather just stay in, have a drink or 10, and reflect
JR – What?!! Cleveland?? you said we were going to Hawaii!!! dammit!!
I never go out on New Years Eve. Rarely even stay up till midnight on that night either. I will, however, drink heartily; but that’s nothing unique about New Years Eve — I drink heartily most eves.
We do nothing on New Years and haven’t for most of the 25 years we’ve been married. I never understood the appeal of starting the new year puking my shoes into the toilet, suffering from permanent hearing loss and PSD-like nightmares involving coworkers/friends/relatives performing unnatural acts in public. Think I’ll just sit on my couch, watch Office Space for the baggillionth time and hit the sack around 10pm.
I know he’s old news, but Weird Al’s “Craig’s List” is a pretty good take on the Doors.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wlxnOTvJNo&feature=PlayList&p=38430B74B0196118&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=35
I don’t drink anymore, haven’t for many years. So, I’ll probably sit and read until it’s time to watch the ball drop. Watch that and wait for my neighbor to fire his shotgun in the air and then go to bed. I have no life.
Taiwan On –
That is also the same day Lennon was killed.
I don’t drink. ON NYE, I like to watch the old folks sing out of tune gospel songs on Channel 5. They come on right after the ball drops.
We’ve got three places to drop by tomorrow night. All of them are private house parties. I hope to get home by 10:00 so I can go to bed. Fuck the ball drop.
I’ll probably get half drunk. I can’t go all the way because by better 2/3 is 8 months pregnant and that’s just not right because she can’t drink. Maybe I can find something that we can both enjoy – maybe pain pills or crack cocaine.
I wear novelty hats almost every day. So it’s nothing special to me. I’m wearing a football hat right now.
http://www.stupid.com/fun/FTBH09.html
I’m with Jeff on NYE – not literally of course – but I will be lucky if I can stay up past 10. Altho once, years ago, I gave a kick ass party. Someone tipped off the cops. They lay in wait by the stop sign at the end of my road to pick up the DUIs. So most of my friends started off the new year in jail. Once word got out, the rest crashed at my house. Took weeks to get all the beer out of my carpet
The internets crackdown is starting already. I’m sure whatever our pal Jason just linked us to is funny, but I can’t get there from here, due to it being labled as “Mature Humor” by the web Nazis. Can someone tell me what it is?
On IPOD right now-
ie, All Right”- The Hives
That was ” Die, All Right”
Neighborhood party where I will laugh at people who’s ability to manage alcohol is not as good as they think it is.
We have no plans for NYE, and are happy that way. We’ll perform our traditional good-luck rituals that supposedly bring in good fortune and prosperity: put out silver coins before the old year goes out and bring the coins on NY day, and eat pork loin, sour kraut, and black-eyed peas on NY day.
I’m just so damn happy that I can start the new year off with some DAYS OFF FROM WORK!! yay!!!
Both my husband and I are teetotalers (him by choice, me because my stomach is a ball-baby bitch), so New Year’s is pretty bland for us. We’ll watch the ball drop, listen to the drunken neighborhood make a collective noise roughly equivalent to an alien invasion, then go to bed. Nothing on the level of Poseidon Adventure.
Jeff: For your shedding nostrils, use Aquaphor. You can get it in any drugstore in the hand/body cream isle. Eucerin makes it. Great for flaking nostrils…plus burns, chapped lips, roadrash, rug burns…. you name it. We give it to our cosmetic patients for their incisions and deep peels.
I was never a NYE fan…ever. I always found it to be depressing but I end up getting dragged out anyway. We will prolly go to a house party friends are having then perhaps to the local bar which is tumbling distance from our house. Quite frankly, I’d rather be at the hole-in-the-wall-bar cuz it’s easier to walk away from someone who is annoying. Harder to stun & run in someone’s house!
I haven’t really gone out to a bar-like setting in my adult life except on NYEve nights when a band that I was in had a gig that needed to be played. The whole yeling and screaming and noise-making at midnight has always rang rather hollow for me. I used to like to go camping on NYEve back when I lived in Fla, but its too dang cold for that up North.
Some good-luck food that I’ll be preparing and consuming with my family on Jan 1, 2010: Black-eyed peas, rice, and greens (its called “Hopping John” if you’re in the South).
I think the last time I actually went somewhere (that was not my brother’s house) on NYE was about 12 years ago when I froze my tits off in Oslo doing a pub crawl in sub-zero temperatures. We were all inappropriately dressed for the weather and at one point, my friend (a Norwegian who should have known better) sat her drunk ass in a mini-skirt down in the snow and said she could go no further and that we should leave her there. It took a while, but I finally convinced her to climb (read: I dragged her) into the cab before she froze to death. I remained just sober enough to remember some heavy drunken petting with cute Nordic man (friend’s brother) while the rest of my friends slept it off in the other room. And then I fell asleep on him, the deed remaining undone.
Since then, NYE has been at my brother’s house with family members, the kids upstairs making a ruckus. Adults are usually out on the enclosed porch, smoking it up and stuffing their faces with food and beer. When the kids pass out from exhaustion, we line them up in a row on the bedroom floor and let them sleep until 12:05am, when everyone collects their children and heads for home.
That’s about all the revelry I can handle. The drunken masses are too annoying, and crowds of them can turn me homicidal.
Worked for about 24 straight years on New Year’s Eve, first as a waiter at a restaurant, then doing mobile DJ work for New Year’s parties. New Year’s Eve always meant good $$$$$. I didn’t feel I missed much because the only times I did go out, it was less than it was portrayed.
This year we’ll stayin with the kids…the oldest (7) stayed up last year and thought it was cool. Plus I’ve got to see Dick Clark drool, “Hank you Ryan.”
Never been a big NYE fan. This year my wife and I are having sushi delivered (Yes…delivered!), a bottle of vino, and a warm fire in the fireplace. Probably be in bed by 10. Hopefully sooner. he he…
Last year of high school I was in a dance band. We drove about 4 hours to a club where we played dance and big band stuff for hours. Drank a little… laughed a lot.. slept on the floor of the club…. (then this one time at band camp)…. I know it doesn’t sound like much but in the 30 years since, it’s one of the few New Years that didn’t end in tears/fighting/puking or asleep by 10. Fond memories…
And, well there was that one time the wife and I tried to have simultaneous Big Ohs as the count down reached zero – I smile every time someone mentions Dick Clark . So, talk about pressure to perform on queue!!! 5 4 3 oh crap … And no it didn’t end in tears/fighting/puking – but I was asleep by 10 …as in 10 minutes later…
ok maybe there were two favorite NY eve’s then
The last two years, I’ve had a quiet NYE with the family. The 4 years prior, the wife & I would get a comped room at the DTC Hyatt, or the downtown Adam’s Mark, as I would be engineering the station remotes. Good gig. Set up the uplink to the station, call the studio to verify audio, get my drink on with my lovely wife, then take the elevator home.
@Joe T
Too Funny.
The best New Year’s Eve ever involved a midget, a shemale, a cannon, and a kazoo. I can’t get into details because this is a family site.
I guess I now subscribe to the notion that if you can remember New Year’s Eve it wasn’t a good one.
“If you can remember it…” Yep. Been there. Playing quarters with champagne and ended up sleeping with my head on the terlet (so I’m told). Have no idea how I got to bed. No more champers for me going on 20 years now.
These days it’s just me and the TV and a small (bottle of) Knob Crik.
Good Morning Surf Reporters….
some years yes, some years…no.
Fondly remembering NYE of 2000, and the Y2K. I partied like it was 1999, secretly hoping the hype was all true. What better than at the stroke of midnight the entire grid shuts off and we’re all thrown into chaos, anarchy and Pepperidge Farm Summer Sausage?
But it was not to be.
I looked at her, she looked at me, the lights were still on and Dick Clark hadn’t stroked out yet.
Merry Fucking New Year
Just a small get together, a little bit of booze and some decent foods make my NYE one that I typically forget about rather quickly. Just trying to make sure I don’t catch a stray from any rounds fired off by the hillbilly neighbors.
Hey T. Farty, I was at that party! Good Times. I would rather stay in and watch the Rockford Files on Netflix but the wife wants to go out so that;s what we will do. Sometime around 1:30 I will try to drive home with one eye closed.
No big NYE plans for me. I’ll be taking my ex-wife’s son who is visiting from Seattle out to a couple of the bars here in Nome, Alaska early in the evening and drinking cokes while he knocks down rum and cokes. On the list of places to visit is the “famed” Board of Trade Saloon, which was once owned by Wyatt Earp back in the early 1900s. After that, it’s home for 4 days of sleep! After working the graveyard shift non-stop for the last 16 days, I’m going to catch up on my Zzzzzzz’s.
@Dave in Sammamish…Heck of a lot you know about Cleveland! I heard somewhere that Cleveland is considered to be the “Honolulu of Ohio,” just as Myrtle Beach is often referred to as the “West Virginia Riviera.”
For NYE, I recommend taking in the action from the World Junior Hockey Tournament, tonight featuring Canada vs. the USA. Fantastic hockey, players are all 18 or so, no spoiled superstars in the mix, all looking to win and impress the scouts, very emotion-packed. Plus, it’ll be done way before Dick Clark’s big moment.
I tend to think that NYE, like St. Patricks Day, is like Amateur Night in the bar, which can be fun, or not, depending on my mood, and the bar, I guess.
This year, new town, new bar, who knows…
Good luck to all in the coming year
My favorite NYE was 1999 when my idiot then employer paid me ~$4000 to wear a pager for the night, thinking the computers were going to shit the bed. Of course nothing happened
This year we’ll make some nice food, have some nice wine and I’ll likely fall asleep before midnight, and that’s fine with me.
I don’t have a lot of New Year’s Eve stories – at least that I can remember but I did own a piece of Scotland once. I got it when I bought my original copy of Manfred Mann and the Earth Band album Give Me The Good Earth. Never did get to see it but it was a good feeling to be a land owner even if it was in another country.
And as for New Year’s this year i’ll get my traveling out of the way before the party starts. Sounds like eating too much & Jeagermiester shots between extreamly stout, dark (“Cut It With A Knife And Chew It”) Ale preferably from Scotland. Wow I like how I segued back to Scotland!
Well you go away for a few days & when you come back your name is in lights WOW!
Its official People while you guys were enjoying yourselves south of the Border, We Canadians were voting on the biggest change in our Nations History! After 150 years of explaining Canada means village! we got bored and decided to rename the Country:
We are now “The Republic of bacon.”
You can visit our new Gubberment website: http://www.republicofbacon.com
Happy New Year Everyone!
My fav NYE memory is 1999/2000, we planned in advance to be “doing the deed” when that magical moment struck. If the world was going to end I wanted to go out in style. We never got as ambitious as hotfuzz with trying to time the big oh with the stroke of midnight, just being in there would be good enough for me. But that day turned out my wife had the flu and a high temp, but being the trooper she is she went along with the plan just the same. Man, with her high temp it felt like my beef was being roasted, what a strange feeling that was. And a great memory. My wife came thru for me, sick and all.
Stay at home folks here. I was going to get some Blue Moon in honor of tonight’s ‘Blue Moon’ and to go with the tequilia. But Guinsess sounds good. Pork loin and the potato, carrots and onion thing. I asked for some sauerkraut and that seemed fine. And then, out of the blue, thought some brussel sprouts would be killer too. Haven’t had ‘em in a while. I obviously pushed my luck on that one. All of a sudden the menu was more than she could handle and it was like one big…”Fuck it…eat what you want”. Well, that was kinda my plan anyway don’t you think? I had no idea brussel sprouts would be an issue. I’d a snuck them out of my room one at a time had I known. It’s a fucking brussel sprout!. I might just go get a bag of frozen and sit there and eat them right out of the bag while we enjoy our time together watching a movie tonight.
Not to fear…all’s well. She’s chopping stuff up and the loin is in the roaster. And after I deal with the six inches of snow we got last night…I’m going to the store. Happy New Year to all.
OMG the Republic of Bacon is my new Utopia! Must check into the requirements for citizenship immediately.
I am now an official citizen of the rebublic of bacon!! WOO HOO
And I ordered my discount shirts yesterday. So Jeff check the order bucket I don’t want to miss the Pony Express!!!!
My only night out on NYE (post high school) happened only because I was already out, having stopped by the local bar after work and just staying until after midnight. Around 10:30 or so I was plenty drunk and wanting to stagger on home, but stuck it out just so I can say I did it. Which is what I am doing now.
Tonight a buddy of mine is all stoked to party hardy, and insists on dragging my slothful self along. I really hope this is one of those rare times when I end up having a good time aside from the fact I’ve been dreading it. Happy New Year’s, everyone!
We always stay in for NYE. A couple of years, though, we were sitting in our pajamas watching a movie and decided to go to our local watering hole (a block away) in our PJS, hoist one for the ball drop, then go back home and go straight to bed. I love a bar where you can drink in your PJS and no one notices or gives a crap.
Plus, living in SF, there is a shitload of bridge and tunnelers (people who either have to cross a bridge or go through a tunnel to get here) who come in for the festivities. Fuck dat.
I’m cooking steak and lobster to ring out this bitch of a year. Then it’s Prosecco and bed. I think a couple of neighbors are coming by for the ball drop, but that’s it. I like to listen to Dick Clark slur in the New Year.
Happy New Year to all my Surf friends. Here’s hoping 2010 is happy, healthy and PROSPEROUS. Yeah, I know.
Happy Thursday, Surfers!
NYE has never been one of my favorite holidays. In years past, I’ve been to parties both large and small. I’ve been to bars and I’ve stayed home and done nothing. I’ve even seen the ball drop in Times Square in person several times (back in the days before they used to pen you in for the night).
But this year, I am doing something completely different. I will be ringing in the New Year with most of the original cast of “Mystery Science Theater 3000″, and it looks to be a blast:
http://www.philly2philly.com/entertainment/comedy_clubs/2009/12/25/22765/mystery_science_theater_3000_cast_reunites_keswick_theat
Heading over to the theater now. Happy New Year to all !
retrollama…I honestly thought I never had a jealous bone in my body until I read your NYE doings. Too friggin’ cool dued/ duedette (don’t know). Have always been a fan from the git-go.
update…Bev bought brussel sprouts and I went for a sixer of Blue Moon……(Insert party favor horn noise here)…dave!
I’ll see you fools next year. 2010 is going to be a good one. Years that end in zero are always good for me. Happy New Year!
The ole lady’s nymphomania is flaring up again, so I’m going to keep this short.
Hope everyone has a safe and fun filled night and a great twenty-ten.
Peace and taco grease!
Christmas at our house is Lasagna with salad and then to church for the Christmas Eve service. I knwo some that read this board have issues with organized religion, but since it is Christmas, I want to share something……”Therefore the Lord shall give you a sign: behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”
Isaiah 7:14
This was written by the prophet Isaiah some 700 years before the birth of Christ. One unique thing about this prophecy is that it is fulfilled word for word in Matthew 1:23 which says “Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which interpreted is, God with us.” The odds of this happening have been calculated at 10 to the 17th power to 1, or one hundred thousand trillion to 1! Kinda staggering to even think about. This in itself is proof that the birth of Jesus was no normal birth and it brought the Messiah into the world.
I think what we need to remember is that Christmas is only the beginning of the story. It is a wonderful thing, but totally meaningless without the cross. In
John 15:15 , Jesus says, “Henceforth I call you not servants, for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known to you.” Isn’t it amazing that God considers us friends. Not subjects, not slaves, not servants, but friends. Just before Jesus said this he also said in verse 13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” This is exactly what Jesus did for us. I think this is what Christmas is all about!
Funniest stuff ever! “This in itself is proof”…priceless. Proof? Based on an arbritrary work of fiction? That someone decided should be known as truth? You take this as gospel? The Lord of the Rings is a more compelling read! Everyone is free to enjoy their own preferences when it comes to art but the sheep make me laugh.